Life Uncut - Single Pringle - Single in your 30

Episode Date: August 25, 2020

For some reason society has made ‘30’ the magic number for women to have gotten their life together, fallen in love, bought property and have kids on the way. And that if you haven’t you’re a failure and you’re being left behind. Well, we are here to tell you, they are wrong and everyone is on a different path and why being single at any age can be amazing.It’s you friendly reminder that you don’t need to give up, buy 10 dogs and move to Alaska to live out your days alone. Join the convo as we talk pros and cons of  being single in your 30s. If you love listening as much as we love recording then hit 5 stars, leave a sneaky review, subscribe and share the love, because, well, we love love xSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. And I'm Brittany. Hi Brittany! do you realize that we do the same you do the same intro every week yep we say hi and then you go hi Brittany and I'm like hi I just I'm hi I already said hello we've already said hello we've already been talking to each other for the last hour I just think consistency is important so that the people know what they're getting what I reckon reliable safe secure Laura over here and then

whenever Britt does an intro she's like oh hey guys we're here just go on road I always go wild because I, you know, I just think it's, it's important to be spontaneous in all aspects of life, dating, relationships, podcasting. I have a lot of missionary sex, which I'm okay with. Okay. That, no, actually this is a record. Never have you dropped that in the first two minutes. I liked how to do myself. So actually on that, I have a kind of a funny story. If you listen to the last week's Tuesday episode, where I talked about how I almost had sex and I remember well, Britt said it was a bit of an overshare, which clearly it was. So the other day I was at the petrol station and I walked into pay and there were these

two girls standing in front of me. And one of them was like, hi, oh my God, Laura, I feel like we're friends. I listened to your podcast. I love your podcast. Have you had sex yet? And I, in the petrol station was like, yes, yes, I have just this morning. And then I realized that I was still sharing too much about my life to a complete stranger. In a petrol station?

High five if you're listening. Yeah, things have just spiraled out of control for me, Brit. I love this for so many reasons. I love that you had sex. I love that you had sex. Yes, I love that you had sex. I love that. Daily Mail is going to have a field day with the first four minutes of this episode.

I just love that people running to us, I love that they feel like we're friends and they often forget that we don't know each other in real life. I love that they feel this really close bond that they can say to you like, oh my God, did you have sex yet? And that you feel the bond back to be like, well, yes, I did. Well, it was halfway through after saying that I realized I was like, I don't know you. I'm being inappropriate right now. I don't feel like you should know if I've just had sex.

But also, and this is one for all of the mums out there who are in relationships and maybe they're in the same boat as me. And every time, because I get a lot of mums who message me and they're like, Laura, don't worry, you're not alone. We're all going through the same thing. however I've realized that the greatest aphrodisiac the greatest one for a married boring couple it's not oysters is it what is it it's not oysters it's not perfume it's not foreplay it's not seduction it's cleaning the fucking house

so it's cleaning it's cleaning Matt cleaned the house and I have never been more turned on in my life that was all it took and I was like talk to me dirty talk and he was like I'm gonna to clean the bathroom next and I was like yeah boy I can't wait for this anyway so on that note you guys all know that we record in Laura's bedroom we always chat Matt Laura and I for like an hour or so in the lounge room and we run through the episode we ask Matt's opinions on things because he's a guy just just a general catch-up you know because we usually haven't seen each other for like 12 hours it's important to debrief on the day so you often hear us talk about like that we'll come into the studio aka the bedroom and Laura would have like a pile of

clothes here that matt's done somewhere or whatever we always have to wade through something but what britney's getting at is that my house is not particularly clean but that is because we have a one-year-old and we live in constant chaos no what i'm getting at too that doesn't bother me the slightest today tonight right before this episode we're sitting in the lounge room laura's like oh brit just wait here one second i'm just going to go and quickly clean all the stuff off the bed in the studio the bedroom she comes in to clean it all off because she's like there is shit everywhere then she comes back out and she's like oh matt's got this smug look on his face and she's like matt you angel i love you you put all the stuff away you've never done that thank you

so much and he's like all smug being like yeah i'm amazing they kiss laura praises him laura walks back in and she's like i'll meet you in the studio now laura i hate to be the one to break this too but matt as soon as she walked out of the room looked at me and goes oh yeah i just got lazy it's all shoved behind the mirror it's all behind the mirror that little prick and i'm throwing him under the bucket you can see it coming out the side of the mirror that's against the wall oh he's not getting nothing tonight and i was like i knew you wouldn't have done it he's like don't tell her i'm really i feel victimized here i feel like i'm the one that's being left out and this this is cruel hey i told you i could have not told you and you would

have had to have given him cleaning sympathy sex but now you don't have to do that thank god i can go to bed oh god thank god britney you saved me anyway normally let's just get off that topic completely because i feel like that's five minutes too much of me talking about my sex life um brit normally i ask you what you have done this week however i know exactly what you did this week because we just went away for your birthday i can't believe that you're so old i don't tell on my real age I still say 28 you look 28 no I feel 40 which there's nothing wrong with being 40 but there is when you're only 34 Laura and I basically for the first so Laura and I see each other every week so many times we have never in a lot in the last year I don't think we've ever

done anything that wasn't work related we've never like gone out for dinner together we've never gone like I mean if we go for a walk it's because we have to talk about podcast topics so we kind of do like a walking meeting but we've never we keep saying we're going to go out and celebrate when we hit two million and guys next week we're gonna hit three million downloads and we still haven't even been out for dinner to celebrate like it's ridiculous so this weekend was actually really special because one it was britney's birthday we got to go away and we had a beautiful little weekend and two because it was my very first night that i was away from marley oh so we guys went down to shoal bay actually that's a funny story went to shoal bay penthouse wait this is the

problem because you keep saying we went down to shoal bay so don't blame me start the story okay so brit told me that we were going to we're going down the coast we're going to go down the coast for her birthday and then she said shoal bay blah blah country club a few other things i said exactly where we're going shoal bay country club i said shoal bay country club down the clue down the coast so i get into my car i was driving by myself i i was like i know where shoal haven is like i mean it must be around there it's down the coast like what else is down the coast so i start driving I drive for an hour before I decided to put it into my maps no turns out the troll bay is not down the coast it is three hours north of Sydney and I had just driven an hour in the wrong

direction had to turn around so round trip to get there for your birthday was a five-hour trip I feel like you're putting a lot of this responsibility on me yes to be fair in my defense i okay yes something it is something i would say i often do say when i just say i'm going away in general i'm like hey i'm just going to duck down the coast doesn't matter what direction i'm going i just say it like but i say like what about when you go to queensland you say i'm just going down to queensland it's like when i say i'm going to duck down to the shops the shop might be up the hill but the expression is duck down but you can't duck anywhere for three hours yeah but i can't so i said to laura we're just gonna go down the coast to shoal bay country club and i'm

pretty sure like i am pretty sure you're gonna disagree that i said it's just like near newcastle it's nelson bay absolutely incorrect i know exactly where newcastle is i was born there you do often ignore me though like you tune out when i'm talking not time for a sister fight Brittany not on air tone it down all right tell me about your birthday so hang on the moral of this story is we were supposed to just be like two and a half hours north Laura drove an hour south realized it was the wrong way an hour back and then the three hours so she drove five hours to get there but you were in high spirits and it was worth it guys it was my first night away from Marley and I tell you I'll drive five hours for that okay how was your birthday I know I was there

but I get to usually ask you how your week is so how was your weekend yeah so it was really amazing I I've said it before on the podcast I hate my birthday every year I hate my birthday I'm never one of those people that looks forward to it I never plan anything actually most of the time I don't even tell people I've hung out with my friends on my birthday and haven't told them and they haven't known it's I'm not one of those people that's like let's make this a birthday month do you want to share why you hate your birthday because it kind of leads into the podcast topic for today and I think it's a really important yeah it's important because I think a lot of people would feel like that yeah um yes Laura oh well I'm happy to share that I'm happy

to share my most tormented feelings please share your trauma with everybody unleash your soul so I think and I really did have to I think about it and if I'm really honest I the last relationship I was in that we know that it was toxic so I was it was almost like my birthday when it ended I had a really, really bad birthday with him where, long story short, he just manipulated me into feeling really bad the whole day. I had to act like it was his birthday. I had to take him out. I had to do all this stuff for him. I was apologizing to him constantly. And I just had, we had this huge fight and I just had a really, really bad birthday. Then we broke up not long after. Fast forward and every year my birthday came, the first year that went past, I just felt

like it was a reminder that I had this really bad, that time of my life was really bad. then I remember saying to myself and this was my mistake I remember saying all right well next year I won't be alone on my birthday I'll be with someone amazing and I'll be really happy and I'll be sharing the moment with someone then the next year would come and it wouldn't happen I wouldn't even be close and the next year then the next year and fast forward and this has been I think like the eighth or ninth year and I just started to get really really depressed every year seeing that my friends were like had all their partners doing these amazing things for them surprising them sharing them with love just spending this quality time with them and every

year I just felt lonelier and lonelier and lonelier and that is just being completely honest because I feel like there have got to be people out there listening right now that are like fuck like me too I have felt that finally this year you think I would have learned it took me eight or nine years but I've realized it's probably not gonna happen I can't keep saying next year I'll be with someone before I just make my own happiness so I finally decided to go away with some of the girls we had an amazing time down at Shell Bay Country Club which was beautiful we went hiking um much the girls dismay I made the girls go hiking we ate so much food oh my god the food was ridiculous and it was with like it was with all of your closest friends which even if

you don't have a guy there we didn't need any guys there well this is actually so all of these things are what got us to this episode today basically the girls and I there were five or six of us I was the only single person there all the rest of my friends have babies are married or engaged yeah literally all of them I was the only one that was single but we were having these deep and meaningful conversations and it came up that you know this feeling of a lot of people feel failure and they feel so lonely and if they hit 30 and it also appears to be that 30 is the magic number 30 is the number where people feel lonely and I don't know why as a society we've set the number the benchmark to be like oh you better have got your shit together by 30 like it's the

be all and end all of our whole life and then what I realized is the five other girls there including yourself Laura everyone was so stoked to be having a weekend away from their partners and the stress and and kids and and just general life not because they want to be away from their partner but because they're like oh my god this I get some time to myself I get to do whatever I want to do I get to eat whatever I want to eat I can go to bed when I want to go to bed and it just made me think they are so stoked to be here and sometimes it's like the grass isn't always greener and I think it's really important that we touch on both sides of being single and being in relationships the pros and the cons of both and just make you guys realize that if you hit 30

and you're not where you thought you would be that's okay you can run your own race and you can be on your own timeline right you're like looking at me like I've just gone on the set no I was like preach sister I really got on a tangent yeah I was like is that us have we just done the whole topic okay that was my intro okay Britt's already used she's already done the intro so we can just skip right to the content no but it's so true and then like so basically this episode is all going to be about being single in your 30s the social stigma that's attached to that the cultural expectations around especially women getting into relationships and us having this like biological clock but also just having this expiration date almost and that our value as a

person and our worth is kind of tied up in are you in a relationship or not and how we want to kind of break that down and redefine this and you know one if you are in a relationship you'll definitely sympathize with some of the parts of it that aren't great or that you know that you might miss about your single life and if you are single at the moment then maybe this podcast will help you to really embrace it and enjoy those years because it's not going to be that forever but let's not get into that yet first we have accidentally unfiltered okay that's enough um actually before we get into accidentally unfiltered i just want to say one thing as well okay i want to talk about bachelor for a very very quick second a hot second for anyone who's

been following along in our facebook group we've been having like a chat about each episode as they've been unfolding and the current theme around this season is like it lacks a little bit of luster in comparison to other seasons but that's because it's obviously gone down the track of a new format which is that they're really really drawing out the single dates and then they're really really drawing out the cocktail parties as a whole episode and it's kind of exhausting watching a an hour and a half or an hour of a whole cocktail party because it just then has to lean so heavily into the drama and the bitchiness and the cat fighting and everything else which you know this early on in the series is what we kind of focus on anyway but it's just

really really highlighted on this season and I think what we have to keep in mind for anyone who is a bit of a die-hard Batchy fan and loves the season in general is that 2020 has fucked everything and it has certainly done the same thing to The Bachelor because it would have been really difficult for them to have captured content so they're probably down on the footage that they normally would have and that's why they are spreading the season out over more episodes yeah obviously they're lacking content because they have already shown previews that COVID happened they all went home and then they started to date online so I think that they're struggling a lot so they're having to draw out the cocktail part it's not ideal not great but we probably need

to cut them a little bit of slack because as you said 2020 is fucked and then I have one more thing Hang on, I have one more thing first. Whoa, all right. Jump in there, Sally. Just on relation to that. I wonder how they're doing Bachelorette because they're filming that right now, the double Bachelorette with Ellie.

But I guess with Bachelorette, it's probably not going to be as intense because poor Lockie during Lockie's season. That was at the height of everything happening with COVID. Whereas I feel like the restrictions and things have settled a little bit more now. There's a bit more normalcy around how filming would be structured.

But obviously if there's another flare up and we go into another lockdown, it will just blow everything out of proportion again. but I mean you just saw did you see on the Masked Singer I think seven or eight don't quote me seven or eight of the dancers have just been tested positive have have just tested positive for COVID so the whole thing's been shut down because that's crazy so it's still it's still really a really big risk I think that we're just getting more used to it yeah and also I think like New South Wales hasn't been hit anywhere near as hard I mean we know New South Wales hasn't been hit

anywhere near as hard as Melbourne but yeah I guess it was interesting watching the last couple episodes unfold and see the really different format that it's been taking and you know what it's taking some getting used to I can't say I'm loving it as much as I usually love but I do think that we need to kind of be a little bit less critical and go like okay this is just the way of the world everything is a bit screwed up in 2020. The other thing I wanted to touch on really quickly is a few episodes ago we were talking about the back and forth of the cocktail party night so like this is just one question that came in I thought this was really interesting so how we mentioned that the cocktail party is filmed over three days and how you have to get

into a bus and go back to the hotel and location. So during the cocktail party, the very first cocktail party, the girls don't stay at the house. So you're still staying in a hotel. Only the girls who are chosen on that first night after the first cocktail party stay in the house. So those two girls who went home never would have spent one night in the mansion. And I don't think anyone's ever really talked about that before. So there you go. There's a bit of insider goss straight from the horse's mouth okay all right so let's get into accidentally unfiltered okay I'm gonna go first this accidentally unfiltered has actually come from a friend of mine so my friend is from South America whenever you say friend I'm like it's 100% you no if you actually wait to hear

the story it's not me my friend is from South America he's someone that I traveled with and met like a long time ago but he's living here now he rides a scooter because you know how all foreigners ride their little scooters they don't drive cars he rides his scooter so he was riding in sydney it was only his second day in australia he was about to start work at his brand new job this huge company the next day he's riding his scooter i love a man on a scooter there's something masculine there's something sexy about it isn't there no i think there is because you know why it reminds me of Italy because they all it's like that's where my heart is oh I thought you meant like a razor scooter no

wow we've all got our fetishes Brittany like a grown man on a razor scooter just speeding through town give me someone dead and where they do the tricks you know how they flip it under their feet like a 360 I just when you see a guy in a full suit on a razor scooter like it happens if you're cruising around sydney city you'll see it and it's a it's a sight to behold there is no bigger turnoff than a grown man or woman on a scooter for me like that i'm sorry but even if i was remotely you could be brad pitt on oh no i'd still do brad pitt on a scooter you could be someone really hot on a scooter and it's just not gonna do it for me no he's on like a scooter like a moped yes okay i'm glad we're on the same page now oh my god um so he's he's driving into the

city just to have a look around he stops at some lights and he sees this beautiful girl i'm gonna tell the story like he tells it so i stop at the lights and i see this beautiful girl she was so beautiful she was the most beautiful person i've ever seen what accent is this i don't know feels weird okay she's the most beautiful girl i've ever seen and he's like she was stunning i just couldn't stop looking at australian women are beautiful he's like i locked eyes with her and then she looked eyes with me and then i was like bitch i'm gonna win this stare off and i was like dude it's not a stare off so he's locking eyes with her he's like i'm not looking away because i'm not going to be the person that loses i he doesn't remember he does not remember what happened

next but he somehow woke up to an ambulance he crashed he looked at her so long he crashed his scooter he woke up unconscious he was unconscious he doesn't know what happened he woke up in the ambulance was there and the girl was over he broke his arm and everything in front of the girl he was trying to look up with and she was he woke up like a movie her face was above him being like are you okay you're an angel yeah and he's like what's happened she's like i don't you've crashed you've broken your arm the ambulance is here you've been unconscious anyway a so embarrassing B, they dated. Wow.

I know. You would kind of hope that that was going to be the outcome. Like worth it in the end. They didn't date for long. But then he had to turn up and do his new job with a broken arm. And I'm just like, I just said to him, what happened in that? Like what happened that you crashed? Talk me through it.

He's like, I actually blacked out. He's like, I don't know what happened. Imagine keeping on driving though. Like fine if you stopped at the traffic lights. I reckon he's. I reckon that's what he's done. I reckon he's eye-contacted her and just like put the accelerator down and ran to the back of the car.

But imagine that girl. Oh, my God. That was good. I like that. She probably sympathy dated him too. How long did it last for? Oh, like two dates. Oh, yeah.

Sympathy date. And he also couldn't do much because he had a bung hand. Take my straw hand. Okay, I have one that was sent in from a nurse. Good old frontline worker. So I'm a nurse on a busy surgical ward and this accidentally unfiltered incident happened, thankfully not to me, but to a physio that I work with. So the physio was about to do some daily physio exercises with a female patient that had just

had a hip replacement the day before. She walked into the patient's room and the curtains had been pulled across. And as you do, you say knock, knock, and you pull the curtains back. To the physio's surprise, the patient's bottom was perched up on the ledge of the bed. legs straddled wide apart and the patient's partner was going to down down on her needless to say the physio walked out awkwardly and exercises for that day were canned as clearly as she had gotten enough range of motion that day oh she has absolutely nothing to worry about so far also who comes out of surgery horny do you know what i once oh here we go i once heard

and i don't know if it's an urban legend or not but i once heard about a woman giving birth and then giving her husband a blow job shortly afterwards and i can't think of anything worse in my entire life really do you think that's a thing i have been told it by multiple sources but i'm still yet to confirm and matt was like let me guess what about me next time matt told you that story for sure matt's like hey babe i heard this story about these women i don't think it can be true i don't feel like a woman could go through 20 hour labor pushing something out of her vagina stitches torn and then want to give the guy that inflicted that on her a head job it blew my mind if anyone out there has done it please send it to me i'll probably put it on

instagram but i really want to know but you'll be anonymous probably stop sharing that story because it really sets an expectation that's very very unachievable for the rest of us oh my god that is so it's never happened it's never happened i actually want to read you this just came in from a girl that i know to the instagram it was just and i can't believe he said that i can't believe he said that i shit you not a guy just sent me this message on bumble an hour ago he gave me his number and said this might be a bit forward but do you think you can please send me a picture of your ear is an ear fetish a thing what the fuck that's how she finished it he's got an ear fetish all right

we're not here to kink shame like i mean some people are into feet some people into butt some people into boobs some people are into ears it's fine maybe he wants to know if she's got saggy lobes but fancy not that's your criteria before you allow a first date is I need sorry I need to check your ears age sex location and ears so he wouldn't go on a date with her until she'd send an ear shot no that was it yeah he didn't send nudes send ears that's what it was ears joking she sent her 100 I would have I'm actually I know her I'm gonna follow up with it and I'll let you know I also had it and I can't believe they said that one of our listeners was laying in bed with a guy who she'd been seeing him for a little while and she knew or had the feeling that maybe

he was seeing some other people but they were not exclusive so she was like whatever I'm just gonna see where this goes not put any pressure on it he'd already said to her that he wasn't ready to be in a relationship so anyway he came over they got to town they had a good night in between the sheets and they were lying in bed cuddling and he rolled over and said to her you know what I really didn't think that I wanted to be with anyone but tonight's made me realize I really want to be with the other girl that I've been sleeping with. That moment you realize you make someone want a relationship, but it's just not with you. This episode is going to be so great for you. Don't worry. Life is great when you're single. I reckon I have made so many guys the

perfect partner. Like I have been that person so many times where I've dated people just that few times, helped them see what they want, help them be a better person. And then they're like, I'm ready for love now but it's just not with me like I've just I'm always the one for the one you're like the husband maker yeah you're like come to me I'll make you a husband and then go on your merry way and live a happy happy life yeah that's me so although I think a lot of people who go through breakups there's often this fear that they're going to then go into the next relationship and find the perfect person and be perfectly happy but I do also think we need to keep perspective that often people yeah sure they go into new relationships and yes they may end up being with

that person for forever but they're still the same person people very rarely will enact all this change and become this totally different person and and live this perfectly happy life if they were not very good to you in the first place no it's more just that you you're just I guess the sounding board like you're the everyone treats someone's shit at some point in their life before they treat someone like a queen everyone makes mistakes I'm just the one that they always make the mistakes on no but what I'm saying is like you're assuming that they then go and treat someone like a queen there's a lot of people out there who get into relationships who continue to be douchebags that stuff doesn't always change that's true let's keep perspective people but

I'm like you know stay woke ladies I'm looking at that fairy tale ending I think I'm thinking the best it's coming it's coming all right guys let's jump in to single and 30 why are you single this is the most commonly asked and honestly the most hated question of any single person at any age I can absolutely guarantee it it's sort of up there with don't worry hun it's just around the corner or um hello do you know you've got a body clock like yes yes I know but also I think it's it's like feigned as a compliment you know this whole like oh but how are you single it's meant to be a compliment but actually it's like the most backhanded like constantly reminding oh because I'm single there's nothing wrong with me I'm just single no so how are you single is different

to why are you single people that say why are you single how are you single can be really cute and positive like how on earth you single you're such a cash why are you single he's like what's wrong with you no see I disagree because I still think how are you single means that people who are single must be defective so it's like well how did you end up being single because you seem normal so I still think that they both play into a negative if someone says to me how are you single I'm like okay that's more cute I'm like cute okay I'm gonna fight you on this one because it's the same as people being like you're different to other girls no like that's not cute stop saying the girls are psychos we're not like it's the same kind of it's meant to be a compliment but i think it's a

backhanded compliment without realizing britney's like i love compliments no i'm not the same as other girls i'm not the same she's like this guy said that to me last night it was really cute look i think it's not the end of the world if someone said that to me but these are the sort of questions that you do need to reconsider if you've got a single friend or anyone that you meeting your life you have to reconsider asking them these questions my mum she doesn't say it anymore because I had to say something to her but she used to say it to me without meaning anything bad by it but she used to say things to me like I would be dating all the time and if I and I was so open with my mum so I used to tell her everything like going on a second date with this

guy going on a third date with this guy she'd call me she's like how's that guy I bet I'm not seeing him anymore why not uh he didn't want to see me anymore he didn't feel anything and she would say things like oh what do you think's wrong with you or what do you think you did things like that but she would not she didn't mean that in any way that was her way of just trying to say like what went wrong and I had to eventually say I was like mom you can't phrase it like that because I just feel like something's wrong with me and she's like oh I didn't mean like that but it's just really I think this really reiterates how important it is to choose the right wording when you when you're addressing people like this yeah totally and I think you

know the reason why we wanted to do this episode is because like we've talked loads about being single. We've talked loads about relationships. If you listen and you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you might feel like that we've covered this, but we've done it in such a sporadic way over so many different episodes that we really wanted to have an episode that's dedicated to being single in your thirties, because you know, there's so many people who are out there, so many women, so many men who are out there who are single. And there really is this cultural expectation and this societal pressure that you should be in a relationship by the time you're in your 30s and you know that the older that you get in your 30s the more that

you're wasting time or that you know maybe your expectations are too high maybe you should settle so we really wanted to address what that looks like and for anyone who who listened to the episode that we did which was free britney where brit was talking all about her experience well her experience with you know tim and then how she felt like you know no one's gonna love me one of the most common messages we had as a result of that episode was when you spoke really vulnerably about how how it felt to be single and how you felt like that there was a part of you that was unlovable and so many people resonated with that and and that's kind of what made us realize okay we really need to talk about this because there are so many great aspects of being

single but that doesn't mean that you can't feel the full spectrum of emotions as well and we do really want to drive home that this this whilst we are going to delve into single and 30 these messages go for anyone single at any age any feelings that you're feeling what we're going to talk about pros and cons are going to relate to you as well the only reason we're sort of driving home the number 30 is because it does seem to be this magic number in society where we're supposed to have our shit together you're supposed to have been married supposed to have your job sorted you're supposed to know where you're going you're supposed to have done all this shit you're supposed to have kids and all of a sudden for some reason there's this stigma

attached that if you hit 30 or you are newly single at 32 33 34 there's a stigma attached that you're a failure that you're unlovable that you've done something wrong that no one wants you that it's not going to happen for you that you're not going to have your kids in time and it can be this really negative all-consuming drowning feeling that a lot of people feel so I want to talk about that a lot and I'm going to be really honest with you because I am someone that has been in long-term relationships for about 10 years total and I'm someone coming up to nine years single so I have done both both ends of the spectrum and all my single years have been in my older years and I have just turned 33 this week so I

feel like it's relevant I also was very infamously dumped on the bachelor on my 30th birthday so I was literally talking about being 30 and single I was sitting at home turning 30 whilst the nation watched me be dumped so I can say that all of this comes from a place of experience we often say Laura and I Laura always says it she's like we are unqualified to be given this advice but I feel like I am an expert in this field I should have a bachelor oh that was no pun intended I meant like a bachelor degree but I should have a bachelor too. Okay guys gonna take a real quick break to say thanks to our sponsor. Also I really want to reiterate and just drive this point home this this episode is not just for people who are single this episode is also for people who are in

their 30s and they are in relationships where they're not happy but they're so fearful about breaking a relationship or leaving someone who's not good for them or they've settled for something that's like you know they're dating down basically if you acknowledge that there's a part of you that feels like you're settling and the reason why you're doing that is because you're like well it's too hard now I don't want to go out there and find someone new biological clock all these different things then you know we just want you to to have another perspective on that to think about life is long you don't want to spend it with the wrong person and you sure as shit would rather be single than to be in an unhappy relationship so this this topic and this

episode is also for you actually I just want to start by saying I did a lot of research in this obviously I'm going to give you my personal opinions and my personal thoughts but research showed that most people real happiness begins for them at age 33 you get to a certain age where you just don't suffer bullshit anymore right like your your relationships you have this like level of confidence that comes out in your 30s I think that you know when they say like youth is wasted on the young it's it's there's truth to it and I think that the older that you get the more that you realize it really is the case because since I have been you know in my 30s I just care less about the things that I used to care so much about like I care not that I don't care about the way I look

but I care my self-worth isn't dependent on the way I look now and I don't feel so insecure in social settings and I don't feel or worry about what other people think of me like I used to and I think that there's this real liberation that comes when you reach you know the ripe old age of 30, 35, 36, 37, 38, 40. And I think that that really just gets better and better with this self-acceptance that happens as you get older. Yeah. And I just think there's a multitude of reasons. The more I thought about it and the more I read about it. So you hit 30 and all of a sudden you're in a better place, usually financially. So you're starting to settle into your job. You've made some progression in your career. You've put some money behind you. You might

have savings. So you feel comfortable in that sense. You hopefully have gotten all the red flags out of the way you have dated you've made mistakes you you've seen the bullshit you've seen the assholes you've had your heartbreak and you've learned a lot of lessons from it also like you just said you get to this place of confidence where you just don't care anymore you know the value of time and you know what you want and you know what you're looking for and you don't put up with anything less so I feel like it all sort of molds into one you hit 30 to 35 and you're like wow like and this is good for me because I turned 33 four days ago so this is my year of happiness well I even say like I reckon my like the best year I've ever had was 31 32 31 32 33 I had Molly

in 33 so the bachelor was 31 I was I turned 31 when I was on the show like when we were actually filming the show and my life in my 20s was just really complicated I mean I think back on my dating life from my 20s and my dating life was so complicated and I've spoken about it loads before, and I'm not going to go into it into too much detail, but like that was when I was making all the mistakes in my relationships. Like I was dating the wrong type of guys, the same type of guys. I was getting into toxic relationships. I didn't value myself. I didn't think that I was worth anybody better than the people that I was dating. And I know that that sounds really self-entitled, but like, you know, I was being treated like shit. I was being cheated on and I

still was going back for more and for more and for more. And I didn't have any standards. And it wasn't until after my 30th birthday, when I went through a really cataclysmic breakup on my 30th birthday as well, it wasn't on national TV, but it was pretty bad that I realized I wanted something more for myself. And then things, obviously I got really lucky. I mean, I know that there was a huge amount of luck that played into my circumstances with meeting Matt, but my life has only gotten better since being in my thirties. And there's, you know, we want to kind of go into like the good bits about being single but one thing I do want to touch on is you can get into this real negative self-talk when you're not happy with the current situation that you're in so if you are

single and you want to have a boyfriend it's very easy to think that it's going to be like this forever and you're trying to project what the future is going to be like and I just think it's so important to not speak to yourself in a way where you're saying like well I'm going to be single next year or I'm going to be single forever no one's going to love me because you literally don't know what's around the corner you literally don't know what decisions you're going to make or who you're going to meet and how your life could change in an instant I just think that's a really important thing to throw out there to start with to say like this negative self-talk because you're unhappy with the situation right now this is not going to be your life forever life is so dynamic

shit changes so quickly three and a half years ago I was single now I have a kid like it's wild that is wild but you know it only takes nine months it only takes nine months and maybe seven minutes who knows nine months and seven minutes no and i'm i'm guys i'm gonna be really real with you throughout this episode i don't want to sugarcoat things because i think it's important that we do take the bad with the good i guess um and i will be really honest and tell you that i have had really really really tough times and i have been so horrible to myself and to be around um I've locked myself in my house for weeks and just not wanting to go out and it's all because I it stemmed from this feeling of not being good

enough no one wants you you'll never be loved you're never going to meet anyone I genuinely would tell myself I would look in the mirror and I can't believe I would say this I would look in the mirror and say to myself I would be like you are so disgusting I couldn't even look at myself and I would cancel my night out it all came from this feeling of not being good enough um in a relationship that's where it stemmed from and I was the sort of person that I shouldn't have let it grow but I did um I couldn't stand the side of myself and I would tell myself every day no one's ever going to love you like you will be alone forever and that is half the battle because we talk about this all the time this really negative self-talk if you tell yourself that

every day you're going to believe it that's the energy you're going to put out into the world and you're never going to receive anything back because you're not giving anything good out and I can't stress that enough that I know I'm not disgusting now like literally everyone listening to this is like oh god if Brittany feels like that there's no help for me but that's why and I mean we touched on it with the body dysmorphia episode and I think it's I think it's really important for people I hope there's someone I hope that you guys are listening out there now and I'm not saying this for any sort of attention I'm not saying it for any reason other than I want to be honest and say that you don't know what anyone is feeling or what they're going through or how a

relationship in the past whether that's a family relationship a romantic relationship how that has affected someone and what they actually believe about themselves so I just want to say I'm only telling you this so that you guys know that if this is hitting home with you in any way that a it's normal to feel like that at some point but it's really really important to pull yourself out of that and see the positives. I want to start by saying being single can be bloody awesome. I want to start by talking and discussing the good, positive, fun, amazing aspects of being single and what it can do and why it's really important to see how great life can be. When we talk about relationships and we see and relationships are held up as like the beacon of what everyone

should want, there is a lot of pressure to be that and to have that. But that is also, and we talk about Instagram as well a lot but that is also because you only ever see the highlight reel right like when Britt and I were talking about this conversation I was like you never see the shit parts of a relationship and like I love Matt with all my heart and I would not want anything different for my life now and I love Marley but that's not to say that there aren't times where I feel really jealous that you're able to just go to the gym whenever you want to that you're able to live your life in whatever way make whatever decisions you want whenever you want them if you clean your house you come home to a clean house if I clean my house I come

home to a shit storm and my headphones are in the bin like honestly it's it's chaos it's absolute chaos and like you have to have this level of acceptance once you have kids and you're in a relationship that like your life is never going to be just your life again and it's actually taking me a really long time in the last year to be okay with that because there are days where I personally feel really jealous that I don't get to just be me anymore and I feel like I've lost myself in that so I think it's very easy to look at what somebody else has and to think that your life will be better when you have it but in saying that life can be great when you're single life can be great when you're in a relationship there's shades of gray to both of them you know but people who are

in relationships are only taking photos and sharing photos during the positive times I'm not taking photos when Marley vomits on my chest. I'm like, Hey honey, go get the camera up. Yeah. And similarly, I'm not taking photos when I'm at home living alone on my own, eating a can of tuna for dinner, watching a sad rom-com. Like I'm not showing you guys those parts. I'm showing you like me being unhappy. You're showing you the best highlights of your life. So it's really important that people remember that. And there are loads of people who are single and who are happy. And there are loads of people who are in relationships who feel completely isolated and unloved. So having a relationship is not a determining factor for your happiness. Happiness comes from doing

the hard yards when you're single and like really working on your own personal and self-development so that your happiness is already there. Somebody else can just add to your life, a bit of flavor, a bit more love, a bit more stability. But the number one point I want to say is if you're single, mate, you've got all the time in the world. You can do what you want. You can go where you want when you want you can travel alone you don't have to make plans you can sit at home and eat cereal for dinner if you don't want it every day well no but like if you could you could because you don't have to worry about anyone else I mean you can do that in a relationship too just shit gets weird after a while but it sounds selfish but it's not when I say the only person you need

to think about is you and that is a really really nice place to be in because you won't be in it forever so this is the time where you get your creative juices flowing you find out who you are and what it is you want to do when you go and do it it's actually proven that people that are single or living on their own are more driven and can be generally more successful because they have more time to focus they have more time to sit at home and be like you know what I've always had this idea I'm going to do it they don't have a kid they don't have a husband to look after and I'm not saying you have to look after them but they've just got nothing else taking their energy and their time so it's known that these people are more likely to go and pursue their dreams well

you actually just said something which is i think i think something this is something that a lot of mothers specifically will deal with and um women who are in relationships and they have only newly kind of like gotten into this parental role or actually i take the back maybe definitely not new parents people who have toddlers small children we're kind of sold on this idea of a happy family and like the happy family dynamic. But what I was unaware of, and I mean, I definitely can't fault Matt on it because he's stepped up to the table massively now. But what I wasn't aware of is that women in relationships who have children, even if they're the breadwinners, even if they're working, we still more often than not. And I see this with my friends. I see this

in other relationships more often than not that the women still does the lion's share of the work in the house there is still this patriarchal expectation that the women do the housework I just see so many mums who are exhausted exasperated like don't feel like they understand or know themselves anymore don't even feel like they feel like they're a shell of their old self because they're working all day then they're coming home they're taking care of children they're cooking they're cleaning nothing like I said nothing stays clean and it's this like perpetual, never ending, absolutely exhausting cycle that you get into. And I, and I just think it's so easy to be sold on this dream that life is going to be better once you have all those

things. But, but there are, there are a lot of people who are in relationships who aren't happy, or there are a lot of people who are in relationships who as much as they love their family and as much as they love their husband, they can't recognize themselves. They they're unhappy for other reasons. Yeah. And this is just, you've just really driven home my first point. single people you have the time and luxury so use it wisely and and take and take advantage of that need to tell yourself every day today I can do whatever I want today I can be whoever I want today I can get anything done and I think that's really really important thing and I'm I'm really good with that I feel if anyone that knows me knows I feel my days from 6am till midnight I'm

like non-stop I'm doing a thousand things I'm trying I'm always thinking up new ideas and I'm really I often think to myself do I always want to start these new businesses and do I always want to climb these mountains and do these holidays and work so much because I don't have a partner and I actually think I do I think it's because I'm like okay I have the time so why wouldn't I just feel it why wouldn't I utilize it now I do think that so much personal growth and development comes when you are single because that is a time when you're able to work on yourself and for yourself and you actually really get to understand who you are as a person and what you want in a relationship. So I think it's very hard, especially for people who jump from one relationship to

another relationship, they never stay single. There's no self-development that happens there because you didn't really sit with who you are. You haven't really taken the time to figure out what you want in a relationship. Whereas when you're single, there's so much time to really understand who you are and what you want. One of the things that I think is like really important and something that I know when I was single it was what filled my life with meaning is this idea that you really need to invest in your friendships where as people we're hardwired to want connection and so if you're lacking in having a romantic connection then really investing in your friends who are around you and the people who love you can really fill that hole and fill that void and

being that you know you have people to go out for dinner with you have people to call when something goes wrong and having really strong friendships is the savior for being single I do think and that's where a lot of happiness comes from and I also believe strongly that that should be any age of life 20s 30s 40s 50s I think it's really important to never ever neglect friendships completely a lot of people do get sucked into that hole where they're in this all-consuming relationship they're in love and like all they want to spend every second with them and they start to ignore their friends and I really think it's important that you do have a group of people that you can always go to I have friends that have friends that they're not my friends but they'll

say to me things like haven't heard from her in three years all of a sudden she's broken up and she wants to be my best friend kind of thing and she's like and they're all still friends they're friendly but there's this like bitterness to be like well does she actually really want to be my friend like she wasn't there when I needed her it's now it's just suiting her so I think it's really important to not neglect that part of your life yeah and I guess like it makes sense though there's this resentfulness when you get ditched as soon as your friend finds a partner like that's you know and and the reality is is like we brit and i were talking about this earlier but it's an unfair expectation to have on your romantic partner that your partner is going to be

everything for you like they can't be your soulmate your best friend the comedian the person that you go out with to vent about the dramas in your life because sometimes they're going to be the dramas in your life like you need to have other people in your life that satisfy a whole variety of different things and that's why friendships are so important to maintain through relationships because it just puts this unrealistic expectation that one person can be your sole provider of every single source of happiness in your life next point how bloody quick efficient and easy dating in your 30s is because you know what you want so you just call it straight away you go on dates you can have fun it's easy but you don't have to worry about

oh how do I say no to him how do I cancel that date oh I don't want to see him again oh is he going to ghost me that shit doesn't really happen in your 30s because people are more confident and honest and open and I know it because I'm like this dating now and I think I even said last week on the podcast you know how I said I was really honest with that guy I was like hey didn't feel anything with you straight up um I think I wouldn't have said that a few years ago in my 20s I just wouldn't have done it I would have been uncomfortable wouldn't want to host feelings don't want any confrontation I probably would have just like freaked out and not said anything. But now in your thirties and it's the same, usually, usually men are equally as good

at reciprocating that at saying like, to be honest, I don't feel anything. And I love that. I love the ease of knowing where you stand in your thirties. Well, I also think there's a lot more respect that comes, not with everyone. Like there's still a hell of a lot of F boys around and F girls. Heads of dickheads. So many. I see them all the time. But I do think that there is a greater level of respect. Like when you're in your early twenties, dating is like musical chairs like you a roundabout swinging doors rotation like you there is ample amount of people to date but when you're in your 30s the pool of people to date does decline and like you have to be a little bit more considered respectful thoughtful and I and I really like

for people who are wanting to get into a relationship I really like this idea of like intentional dating where like you treat dating in the same way that you would treat I'm not this that makes it sound so clinical but like you you're intentional with your job you're intentional with your friends be intentional with your dating as well in that you know you don't waste your time with people who don't make you feel happy you don't like settle for someone who don't date down just because you feel lonely because while you're wasting time with someone who is filling a lonely hole but isn't the guy then you're stopping yourself from either one enjoying time with people who love you or two being able to find somebody else who's way better suited to you and

could actually be a life partner or a partner for whatever length of time because nothing's a guarantee these guys these days nothing nothing's guaranteed very easy to feel this like this weight on your shoulders when you have been dating a long time hello me and I have been through this process it's very easy to be overwhelmed to be disinterested to be weighed down especially when it's date after date after date that hasn't gone well it's easy to throw in the towel and be like I don't want to do it anymore I don't have the energy to do it anymore I can't be bothered I'm sick of telling my story I can't tell you how sick of telling my story I am think of nine years worth of being like my name's Brittany this is my job I go traveling and do this oh yep that was me

I got dumped yep that was me again got dumped again you know what I think would be bloody brilliant if we could all get to a point where we just like make a powerpoint presentation on ourself on the basics bumble and tinder no proper one proper one you send it to them everyone looks sudden if they want to go on the date with you you go and it's like going straight to a second date it's like you bypass the shit on the first date but what I'm getting at is I have been there I have thrown in the towel for weeks or months on end and I've been like don't have the energy but it's really important that you don't give up on dating because it's not going to come into your apartment onto the lounge push the ice cream out of your lap and literally fall into your lap it's

not going to happen you need to be proactive and you need to look at it like it's fun you can have so much fun. You get to meet new people. You get to go to new restaurants. You get to go to new bars. You might even make friends. I'm just thinking now that someone out there needs to start like Uber for dating where you just like call someone a rotation. They get dropped to your apartment. Maybe that is just Tinder with Uber attached to it. I think it's just Saturday night on the cross, isn't it? I think it's very normal to get dating burnout. Like it's okay to go through these periods where you are exhausted by the dating game. And then, and I think it's normal that people then delete all their apps and delete all their dating apps and then a couple

weeks later they're like okay I'm back on I'm gonna do it again don't be hard on yourself if you go through dating burnout because I think it's a very normal process because it is exhausting no one wants to say their story 10 or 20 or 30 or indefinite amounts of time but something else I think is really important is that and I've spoken about it before briefly but I kind of want to touch on it again is this idea that like especially as women that we need to be proactive in choosing the type of men that we want to bring into our lives and choosing the type of partners that are suitable for you not just sitting back and being reactive to whatever walks in the door or whoever chooses you because if you're only able to pick a partner from the people who physically have chosen

you then your pool is so limited and there's a good chance that you end up going to settle for someone who's not not right for you and what I mean by this is like be the first person to make a move be the person to flirt when you go out be really proactive and show people that you're interested if you are interested because that will open up your potential for meeting new people mr right is maybe a little bit lost and needs a bit of help mate fuck he hasn't even got his passport god knows where he is that also comes with i think in your 30s again you get more confidence and you don't care as much well i don't care as much if someone doesn't like me back or if I hit on someone and it doesn't go well I laugh I laugh and I genuinely laugh it off I'm like whoa

that was funny like hit on that guy whatever it comes with being confident in your 30s and not caring as much what other people think so I 100% agree I think go out and get them if there's someone you're interested in right now if there's someone you've been thinking about messaging right now I want you to message them what do you think has changed so like your perception when we started this podcast and I know like for the majority of the time you very much like I'm a badass single bitch and I love my life but then there are periods where you're you feel vulnerable and you go through periods where you're like actually do you know what I really want someone there and I think that both of those things are very normal to experience and to feel but what has kind of

shifted in your perception recently where you're very happily single but ready to like open your life up if the right person comes along but not desperate to like find someone to fill a hole yeah that's an interesting question I definitely still am I always have been and I still am I like to think badass independent woman I'm so okay on my own I think what it is now is you you cannot avoid feelings in yourself changing as you age and that is because of reasons like all of a sudden when you're in your 20s maybe one maybe one or two of your friends got married or had a baby young maybe so you're not surrounded by it as much the older you get and single people out there in their 30s now you'll be like a bloody man all of your friends

basically now are married or engaged or having babies or pregnant or trying or buying and building houses and then all of a sudden there's this feeling of being like okay I feel like I'm the only one that's not progressing in life in that way now that's a strange thing to say because I'm progressing in life in every other way in my careers in my travels in who I am as a person everything's non-stop growing but you can't help but when you are surrounded by it by being like okay I wish I had someone to share my life with and there's been a few pivotal moments where I've really really felt that in the last year or two one was starting this podcast I remember I remember but clearly when we debuted at number one,

we released a podcast, we went up to number one, we were ecstatic. Like we were beyond excited. And I remember just crying, not of happiness. I was so sad because all I wanted to do was, I feel sad thinking about now, like I could cry. I just wanted to go back to like, I don't know why I'm emotional right now.

Don't cry, you made me cry. All I wanted to do was like have someone to say, look what I've done. like look what I've worked so hard to do and I had not one person and I remember being like oh my god I've got no one to share the moments of my life with I went home to an empty house just on my own and was like okay this is the first time I've first time and it was the first time I've really been like fuck I no one cares about me like I didn't no one cares about what I've just worked so hard to do um the second one was just like when I had to move recently it was fucked moving on your

you don't need a man you just need removalists it's a very different thing but like i'm so like i'm so independent and i don't like to ask for help but when i realized again i was like i don't even have someone to help me move my fridge from the hallway into my house i was eight months pregnant and matt was overseas and i moved a house by ourself you do not need a man okay you just need to pay someone to help you it's just those moments and and they sound funny you'll be listening you'd be like Brittany's a head case like she couldn't move on her own it's not that it's just the pivotal moments where you're like right in this second I've realized I just didn't have anyone to call not at all I don't think anyone's going to listen to this and think that

you're a head case but I also think it's so important to keep perspective in that you know you see people who are in relationships and you see people who are who are seemingly killing it at life but there are so many people who are in relationships who like I said earlier who still feel isolated who still don't have that incredibly supportive person because they're not in the right relationship so you know as much as you want to have someone by your side you need and you want that to be the right person someone who loves and supports you but I just feel like you have changed so much in the last year not just in the last year but also in like the last couple of months that like I feel like that there's been this like shift in confidence and shift in happiness

where you are you know if it comes and when it comes because it will like that's great but right now you're really enjoying life and it's been awesome to watch that change happen as well yeah I do and I genuinely love being single I actually really love it and we'll get into some more things why you know the moment is that it can be hard in a minute but I love meeting new people I love going on dates I love having an empty house for me to do what I want I love not having responsibility like another human's responsibility and I think one of the greatest things for me that being single has taught me and one of the greatest things I think anyone can take from being single is independence becoming an independent person is so pivotal in who you are

and creating a life that is going to be a lot more smooth going for you and you're going to feel like you can take on the world a lot more I've said it before no one's going to come in and hand you something on a platter like I just remember something used to go wrong in the house like my bloody toilet remember when I moved in to my house and I had a toilet problem do you remember oh my god two days in and my toilet broke normally I would have like that's the dad's job FaceTime me to try and help and I was like girlfriend you're the wrong person right now she had a one arm down a dunny I was like um I think you should FaceTime somebody else well it just made me really think that normally I'd be like dad the toilet or your boyfriend or your

partner I feel like that's straight away it shouldn't be but it's straight away like the husband's job or the man's job but I remember sitting there being like well if I want to use the toilet I'm gonna have to go and fix it now because I was in my head I was like what are my options fix the toilet or I run across to Bondi Beach public toilet I was like that's not gonna happen so I think it's really important that like you learn to be so capable and so in control of your own life and I think it's a really really beautiful quality to have I just have one more thing that I want to add to this which is kind of like ties into the very beginning of this episode which is like around the stigma that's associated with like being single. And I think anybody who

is the single girlfriend in a group of friends who has, they're all partners. And that used to be me. So I, I used to be the one with the crazy dating stories. Now it's you, Brittany. But like, I remember what it's like to be the one where all your coupled friends expect you to entertain them. Like you feel like a bit of the clown because you're, you come to dinner and they're like, tell me your dating stories. Tell me what crazy shit's happening in your life now. And that's literally me on this podcast that's that's your job exactly that is also what adds to the stigma around it that's also what adds to the fact that like your life is a bit crazy and everyone's life is normal and boring and as much as the stories are interesting and great and I fucking love them

never stop giving them to us because I need them um but I get it I get that there is this feeling of being like a performing monkey and that there are times in relationships where actually it didn't work out you're probably a little bit sad about it and humor is a coping mechanism and you make a joke but at the very bottom of that joke there's this feeling of like here we go again let's make a joke about it because it makes it easier to cope with it makes it easier to process I mean I never I never minded telling these stories because I think for even me it was a coping mechanism but I really used to be the ridiculous friend in the friendship group that had all these crazy crazy stories about my shit dating life and how terrible I was at relationships

and I think playing into that narrative constantly and being that performing monkey isn't necessarily a good for your self-esteem in the long term. I agree and I totally get that. I definitely, I've said it before, I use humor as a coping mechanism but I actually love telling you guys my stories.

They're so messed up and funny. And we actually love them, please never stop. I like, I know that you want to find love but as much as you want to find love, I don't know if I'll cope with you coming to this podcast and talking about the shit I talk about. I don't think anyone's going to cope. from what everyone's constantly messaging me they're like love like i want you to be in love

but also like low-key don't like even if a situation has made me feel sad what makes me feel better is turning it into a funny story and that everyone can laugh at you and share i want yes i want you guys to be able to laugh at the ridiculousness that is my life and i want you to be aware of how many crazy fucked up things are out there but i also think that the ridiculousness of your life is not that people aren't laughing at that they're laughing at the relatability of it like so and that's what I came to realize about me telling my single stories was like it's it's the relatable fact that like we've all lived this we've all done it just at different points in our lives and like some people settle down earlier than others but you know I think

another important thing to touch on is this idea of a biological clock especially for women that is why I think there is way more pressure on women in their 30s to be in a relationship especially because when you go to a pregnancy appointment when you're 35 after 35 you're considered a geriatric pregnancy like that it's I heard that term the other day and I was like that's crazy to me like I didn't understand that that is the terminology that's used around pregnancy and so you know you can be single and be kicking it in all aspects of your life but there is a very real aspect of being single in your 30s that I think puts a hell of a lot of pressure on people and that makes people feel like they're falling behind obviously obviously it's not for

everyone but for those people who want it and who aren't in a relationship it is something to think about and so we thought for this episode as well you know we've never heard anyone really talk about freezing their eggs I mean it's one of those things that's kind of brandied around and you know especially for single people if they're not in a relationship yet you might hear like oh I'll just freeze my eggs. But what does that mean? What is that? What's freezing your eggs? Like, how do you do it? So I thought it'd be really interesting just to have a little look into it, have a look at what the costs are and kind of give that information for anybody who's interested in it. Because I certainly was. Basically in Australia, I found one clinic who had their prices very

openly up online and it's $4,490 to do the freezing of the eggs, like to actually book it in and to have it done the medication that you need to take which is like a hormone therapy is $1,500 that they charge that at it you get the first six months of storage for free $250 or $500 per every 12 months depending on what I don't know there's different obviously different options for storage so $250 to $500 per year after the fact so depending on how long you end up storing your eggs for it's a pretty costly thing however I think it's an amazing thing that gives women the opportunity to be able to stretch out that biological lifespan and to feel like there's less pressure on themselves to make decisions. I used to have this idea in my head that, oh yeah, freezing your eggs,

great idea, but like $20,000. It used to be the stigma that like freezing your eggs was super expensive and it was going to be super hard to do and it wasn't accessible to everyone. But to hear that you can do it now for $4,490 means that basically anyone can do that. Because even if don't have five thousand dollars cash you would have access to five thousand dollars in a small loan in a credit card so I think it's really nice for women to know that you do have options and and it's not the end of the world if you hit 35 and you aren't with the person you're going to be with or you're not pregnant or you don't have a baby there are so so many other options for you totally and you can have a baby without being with someone like we would live in a day and age now

where if you want a single parent that's totally an option you can happily single parent and I'm sure there are a lot of divorced mums out there who are like just single parents easier basically like that is something I found was really interesting because I had the same preconceived ideas that it was going to cost this obscene amount of money that like nobody only the wealthiest the wealthy could afford to do it and I think that that gives people a bit of reassurance and a bit of closure that there are other options out there if that's a route that you want to pursue as well and that you know as much as we do have a biological clock and it's something that is something that's very real and that women need to think about not every woman wants to have kids

not every woman wants to have kids by the time they're 35 not everyone wants to have kids by the time they're 38 39 40 and so these there are other options out there and there are other life choices out there that don't have to be defined by what society expects of you I reckon if I hit 35 and I wasn't didn't feel like I was anywhere near having a baby like either ready to have it on my own in a relationship whatever it is I always thought that if I hit 35 that's when I would freeze my eggs it's just not it's not that's not for everyone that's just something I've always said to myself and it's security it's a security it's a comfort it's comfort it's knowing that you have the option you're giving yourself the option whether you ever use it doesn't matter

well we're not going to go into this in full detail now because we were just thinking actually we're just like looking at each other and going like oh this is epic there's an episode but um We're going to do an episode around fertility. So we'll save that and put it in the bag for a future episode so we can really get into it properly and all of the ins and outs and what that entails. One thing that I did want to add to this before we kind of wrap up this conversation around being single in your 30s is, and it kind of flows on from last week's episode around attachment theories, is this idea that, you know, obviously we discussed last episode

about how your upbringing and your relationships with your parents can have a really formative impact in the way that you attach yourself to your romantic partner and to the people that you choose to be your romantic partners. And I thought it was really interesting, this whole idea of you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. And I think that that's like a saying that gets branded around a lot. And we kind of use that when we maybe have a family that's slightly dysfunctional or, you know, you have a bit of a complicated relationship with your parents. You know, you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. if you're in a relationship with somebody who isn't treating you right or in a complicated

relationship, the people that you date become your family because you might marry that person, you will have kids with that person. In reality, you do choose your family and I think it's really important to think about that and to choose your family wisely because, you know, that then has an impact on the rest of your life. It has an impact on your children and has a full impact on your happiness. So if you're single and you're worried about being lonely or alone and you just feel your time and fill that singleton with whoever comes your way just keep that in the back of your head because you know you really do choose your family in the long run and you can have a really great and wonderful life with somebody who you choose or you can have a really freaking

miserable life with someone who doesn't treat you right the main message I wanted to portray here is that being in a relationship doesn't define who you are being single does not define who you are it doesn't mean you're a failure if you are on your own and you're doing life on your own right now it's so important to remember that you are in control of your happiness with how you perceive yourself with how you perceive life with the way you're out there chasing dreams with the way you're living your life day to day stop thinking about the future stop thinking about what if? What if I never meet anyone? What if my partner leaves me? The most important thing you can do is live your life day to day and stop worrying about things that may or may not

ever happen because that is the stuff that will steal your happiness. She got deep. She got real deep. All right, guys, you know that we never finish an episode without our suck and our sweet, our highlights and our lowlights of the week. Brittany, you can go first. You've had a pretty good week. I've had a great week and, like, I had to really, really think of a suck because I just didn't have one.

I told Brittany she didn't have to have a suck and she said, no, that's not the rules. I have to have a suck. Yeah, the whole rule is you have to because it could be so insignificant. So this is – it's actually more just funny than a suck. But I went on a date at the start of the week, last week, like within this week period. And he was foreign. And we were texting about where we were going to meet because we were just going to go for a walk.

And I said to him, we were going to meet for this walk, right, at the beach. And I said, well, if you want a coffee, let's meet here. And I named a coffee shop. So he said, ah, yes, I do. Let's meet there. I like that you tried to do his accent then. Ah, yes, I do. so i was like but this is how i worded it oh well if you want a coffee let's meet there

anyway he messaged me and said got the coffee like he arrived early he's like i arrived early got the coffee so let's just meet at the original spot long story short he just thought i meant if you want a coffee get one but i'm so he just got his own coffee okay i hope that this was a language barrier and not that the guy is just totally inconsiderate it was he's like i thought you meant he's like i just uh he's like he's beside himself he went and got another coffee he thought i laughed i loved him he's like i just thought you were telling me i should get one so you're so bossy go get a coffee and then meet me here anyway i just thought that was really it wasn't even a suck it was bloody funny so he went and got me

another one bless his soul that's actually adorable it was adorable adorable also could be that your instructions are not very good oh please don't you almost drove to shoal haven instead of Shell Bay. I'm sensing a similar theme here. I feel attacked. It's my birthday week. This is true. This is true.

All right. And now I know what your sweet's going to be. What? Your birthday. Oh, no, that wasn't actually. I forgot it was my birthday already. What was your sweet then? Okay, my sweet was going to be like that we went on a second date.

Is this the guy from Daily Mail? Don't tell anyone. Now they're all going to go look. Oh, everyone who's in our Facebook group already knows because somebody posted it to our Facebook group. Guys, I'm trying to be undercover. Rick got papped on a date, guys. So cute.

He's really hot. And I approved the post in the Facebook group and it stayed there. You bitch. I need to get someone else to monitor that Facebook. Yeah, anyone who wants to monitor our Facebook group, it's Life Uncut Podcast. Please put your hand up. Yeah, we really need some admins in that.

What's it called? A moderator. We need a mod. We need a moderator. We need a mod bod. No, my sweet was, yeah, it was my birthday. I had an amazing time away. Laura gave me a beautiful piece of her jewelry which I was very chuffed about after last episode

where Britt told me that I hadn't given her any freebies I was like oh I know how to how to hook the girl up okay hang on Laura always throws me under the bus I have been begging Laura I was like I will I was like I'm not I'll pay you I just want you to bring the ring home from work I was like I will buy it I'm not I would never ask for something for free and I was like I would just tell me how much it is and I'll pay you just physically bring it to me and it's been a year she's like I forgot yeah but the weird thing about owning a jewelry label is that when my friends say bring it to me I'll buy it I'm like but I don't want you to spend your money I don't want you I don't want you to spend your money but I always would do that but I also can't bring something home for free because

we've got limited stock so I'm like ah just wait till there's a significant event and then birthday it's perfect so I had to wait a year to get a ring that I wanted to buy but I should have just bought it and she's wearing it it looks beautiful everyone don't worry happy birthday brina you're welcome you're welcome okay what was your second suite so my suite was that matt clean suck first oh shit shit my suck my suck was my suck okay my suck was if you guys you guys may or may not know but matt does a saturday morning show on nova it's like at 9 a.m 8 a.m or something anyway it's an 8 a.m okay so he does it with another guy named matt de groot and then another woman named Sarah McGillivray and they have this section on radio which is called the stitch up

where they call someone and they do like a prank and I'm so attuned now to Matt because he's he's pranked me so many times for this thing anyway I have recently had a hire car you guys remember the story about me running into my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend and anyway finally got my car fixed during that period I had a hire car and I had this hire car and the car had two marks on it had a bump in the back and I had a scratch on the front both of them were there when I got the car but when they gave me the car they didn't do like a check they didn't go around and check the whole vehicle like you didn't have to sign anything no they just gave me the keys and I was like okay I don't know what I'm doing so anyway I handed the car actually Matt took the car back and when he

was taking the car back he mentioned to me oh did you know that there's these two marks in the car and I was like yeah I'm pretty sure that they were there when I got the car anyway so that sets up for this morning so this morning I get a phone call from Lucy from Hertz telling me that there is damage to the car and that I have to pay for it and that the tiny scratch on the front and that the bumper on the back comes to a total of $9,870 oh my god I need to pay for the whole thing this phone call went for 20 minutes and it wasn't hers obviously it was the stitch up it was a stitch up and I was getting like angrier and angrier because I was getting forced to give my credit card details to pay for this $10,000 fine. Oh my God. Please tell me you didn't give your credit card

details. I didn't give my credit card, but I was getting very, I was like, I'm sorry. I want a second opinion. This is not acceptable. Guys, you know, like that sort of situation doesn't bring out the best in anyone. Like that makes you really defensive. It makes you angry. I was like, it's a tiny scratch. This doesn't make sense. Anyway, put your manager on. Yes. I was like, I wasn't, I wasn't speaking to the manager point. Anyway, it went far too long and they went far too far with it until they really pushed me to breaking point where I felt like I was getting really angry. Of course I didn't like, I'm not someone who swears at people on a phone or anything like that, but I'm, I was just like very frustrated in my tone. Like a frustrated, aggressive tone.

Yeah. And then I felt so shit. I was like, why am I always the butt of these jokes? It's not even funny, but thank God I didn't have to pay $10,000 to fix a scratch on a hire car. Yeah. I haven't heard the audio. I hope I never hear it, but that sounds really shit. I was pretty sad. I would be like you as well though. If someone calls you and says you owe $10,000 now for no reason, of course you're gonna be mad 100 it's like a normal reaction but also it's just like not the best version of yourself that you don't really want played on national radio so i was a little bit angry at man i told him don't worry i didn't hold back did you have a tip no tip but i was like if you ever do that to me again right now he's gonna start doing to me oh my god yes no you can be the

victim no i'm gonna put you up as a sacrificial lamb i said that you can go that's a chord what Does she say in Hunger Games? I volunteer as tribute. I volunteer as tribute. No, I don't. Anyway, guys, that was a long, long. What's your sweet? Oh, I said my sweet.

Matt, clean the house. Oh, then you had sex. Thanks, Brit. Yeah. Cleaning sex. It was great. Anyway, on that note, guys, that is us for another episode. Thanks for tuning in, guys.

And thank you for all your messages sliding into our DMs, the conversations that are happening on the Facebook groups. We are absolutely loving them. We can't even keep up with them. And I love that you guys are at a point where you're helping each other out and you're commenting on each other and helping each other's problems. Oh, the Facebook group goes off. It goes off.

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