Life Uncut - Sister Bachelorettes & Bondi's dating app predator

Episode Date: October 5, 2020

Happy Tuesday guys! We have a bloody big episode for you today with back to back interviews!First up we have the first ever Bachelorette sisters Elly and Becky Miles! We get to know the girls, chat embarrassing stories and how exactly a double sister bachelorette actually works! Then we jump into something a little more serious but something we feel very passionately about. This past few weeks we’ve seen an online dating story go viral. And not for reasons you may hope.Ebonie Sanderson, a local bondi woman has come forward detailing the horrific abuse she received online from a man named Tom McGuirk. What we all first thought was just a tirade of abusive  messages and voicemails simply because she declined to spend the night with him, turned in much more, with women from all over coming forward to detail their abuse at the hands of Tom McGuirk. From abusive messages, to voicemails, multiple fake accounts in order to troll, to blackmail and threats of stalking.We wanted to get Ebony on to talk us through her experience , why she felt compelled to go public and to have a wider conversation about consent. This is an important conversation guys so please share with your friends! Hit subscribe, five stars and share the love, because, well, we love love xSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. And I'm Brittany. Hi Brittany. Hi Laura, how's your long weekend? I've had a bloody great long weekend, except that today's Monday and we're actually working. But we've moved the studio to Brittany's house, which is a lot cleaner and there is less dirty underwear on the floor. If you guys follow us on our Instagram, Life Uncut, you would have seen we put some stories up

and you would have seen our little podcast studio that we set up at my house. And it's a nice to change environment. Well, the reason why we had to set up here today is because we have a couple of very special interviews today. We're going to get hot and straight into it, guys. firstly we've got Ellie and Becky from Bachelorette who are going to give us a quick rundown because tomorrow the Bachelorette starts and we're so excited I'm so I'm actually genuinely so excited to see how this plays out I know that for anyone who listened to last week's episode you might be thinking that now we've just turned into this like supercharged Bachelor podcast

and I promise you that we haven't however we cannot deny that we are part of the Bachelor Illuminati and so we're both sick for it hence last week was a Bachelor episode at the beginning of this we're going to be chatting to Ellie and Becky that's a very short conversation around who the fuck is Becky and why is she the bachelorette and why is she trying to find love so we're getting to the bottom of who she is and then we're also hitting Ellie up some very inappropriate accidentally unfiltered actually Ellie has a bloody brilliant one but guys after we chat that we do have another really special guest and you may have heard her name her name is Ebony Sanderson And she's the woman that outed Tom McGuirk, who we all know, I guess, as the Tinder creep,

the guy that has been inappropriately harassing and messaging women. So we have a really, really, really important conversation with her just to find out what exactly happened, how it made her feel. And we've got some stories from a lot of other people that he harassed too. Yeah. And this has been such huge news at the moment. We know it's been all over news.com. It's been all over Daily Mail.

You guys have been sharing the stories on our Facebook page as well. And Ebony's actually a local Bondi woman. So we were like, we're going to get her on the podcast to have a greater conversation as well around consent, which is the real, which is the real take home message from this interview, I think. And I'm, I'm really excited to share it with you guys as well. But before we get into that, guys, we have just hit 4 million downloads. Yes.

And I know it feels like we say that a lot, but that's because it's coming really quickly. I feel like, I know that every week it sounds like we talk about how we're growing, but every week we are blown away by how many people are listening to this. Hello. We see you. We love you. I don't know what else, but we're there for you. But we do have, we do finally have a 4 million download giveaway. So we've been talking about the giveaway for. Dude. Okay. Can I just make a note? This is how busy Laura and I are. We haven't gone out to dinner for our 1 million celebration yet. We still haven't done it. So now we're at four and we still haven't done it. So we're pretty hopeless with that. Our priority is to get you guys the content, not to feed

ourselves. But we do have a 4 million giveaway for you. So if you haven't jumped onto the Facebook page or onto Instagram, it's Life Uncut Podcast. And we promise that when this episode goes up, there will also be the giveaway up there as well. So jump onto Life Uncut Podcast and you can get amongst that. Anyway, let's get into our very first interview for today. We're going to skip accidentally unfiltered because the girls have brought some hilarious swans themselves ellie and beck welcome to life uncut hello thanks for having us i actually think it's becky not beck isn't it you go by becky beck either either this is like when everyone says oh it's maddie and it's like well not no normal 30 something year old man calls himself maddie his

name's mad but don't say that because she calls herself becky my mom calls me becky my friends call me beck and when you're in big trouble that's when you're back rebecca my actual name is rebecca So guys, we always do a section on this podcast, which is how we're going to kick off this interview, and it's called Accidentally Unfiltered, and that's where we read out, mostly it's our listeners' most embarrassing stories, but today it's going to be your embarrassing stories. So Ellie, you are going to kick this off. I actually think Becky should go first, because mine, I don't know if anything can follow

my embarrassing story, it's that embarrassing. No, that's brilliant, that's what we want. Give it to us, I reckon you're straight up off the bat. Oh, honestly, I remember when you guys were prepping us to, you know, think of an embarrassing story and I had to, and then this one I'm about to say was my absolute, there's no fucking way I'm telling this story, but here I am, I'm about to tell this story. We were really gearing her up for it as well. We're like, nah, come on.

Nothing that's more relatable than a good, embarrassing story. Okay, so what happened? I'd been to a festival. I'd been to Field Day Festival one year for New Year's and I was seeing this guy at the time and the next day you know after you've had a big day you want to just be cuddled so went to his house for cuddling stayed over the night and then I woke up the next morning I had a bit of a tummy ache and I realized that I hadn't yet done you know the traditional grog bog we have a co brown people yeah so I realized I hadn't actually yet dropped the kids off after

the festival so I woke up the next morning I'm like shit oh I've got a bit of a tummy ache okay crikey better get out of here I'm like all right babe so good to spend the night with you I'll see I'll see you next time and I get in my car and I've got about a 20-30 minute drive back to my place and I'm thinking this is this is not a drill this is gonna happen very soon and I'm in the car and I'm like I know there's a Maccas on the way home I could go into the Maccas I can go into the disabled toilet and do what I have to do but there's a medium strip and got like a fence over it so there's no getting onto the other side of the road so I'm driving along this highway and I'm getting I'm feeling so unwell like visibly my legs are

shaking I feel sick and I was like what am I gonna do honestly there's nowhere to go there's no service stations there's nothing and I'm like I'm looking I'm looking in my car I'm looking for suppliers like how am I gonna do this because I'm literally about to shit my pants and it was lucky that I had my car was really messy this day because I had so many different supplies it was gonna be messier in about three seconds I look over and I see a Chinese container on the floor are we joking did you think this happened ladies and gentlemen this is your most eligible bachelorette in Australia here she is she's not eligible babe she's in love we're not even done yet I get I'm like all right I need to find a secluded street maybe there's a tree I can go

behind anyway there wasn't I find this cul-de-sac lucky it's raining I'm at the front of a tape no one's around and I get the Chinese container and I do what I have to do in my car it was lucky that I'd just actually been to a festival because I had like baby wipes in my like festival kit and I had like a rogue plastic bag so I could tie everything up and you know what I dealt with it in the most dignified way that I could at the time and it could have been a lot worse I didn't actually shit my pants and by that do you mean you set your car on fire afterwards I can't believe I just said this story I hate myself but we love I remember you telling me last night and I was like oh goodness you're not Becky's like I really advise you to not share that

on a podcast. I have all the regrets. Everyone has a shit story. Every single person out there has a poo story and I think you've just got to live your best life and share it around. It's so relatable. You know what you've just made somebody else who's experienced the same thing feel better about themselves. You're a good person. That's what I'm here for. Now Becky please tell me you've got something that trumps that. I think I've got a couple of stories. I was trying to think of this because I feel like I don't know there's there's always embarrassing things that happen right have you ever played what are the odds no your friends okay so what are the odds it's a game where you dare someone to do something and you've got to say got to say a number between

one and ten and if you both get the same number then you've got to do the dare anyway so play play this with my friends all the time you just dare each other to do stupid shit anyway one day I was at the beach and I was just sitting there with my friends and they're like they asked me to do this dare and I lost so I had to go and do it and so here I am it's like hot sand I'm like there's a guy sitting over in the oh I don't know about 10 meters away on a towel just like laying down like enjoying himself anyway here I am and I'm tiptoeing I'm like you know when the sand's really hot anyway the dare was I had to tiptoe and be like pretend that my feet were really hot and then go and like place myself on his towel and then race off to the beach

So I'm like, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, like tiptoeing over to him and I go and like place myself at the tip of his towel right where his head is and I scare the shit out of him and he looks up at me and he's like, ah! And I'm like, oh, sorry, my feet were just hot. Sorry, I didn't see you there laying peacefully with your beautiful six-pack ripped, oiled-up body. I love that this is your most embarrassing story

and this is great. the fall from grace is so vile but it's perfect I told you I should have gone for I mean last but let's jump in I want to jump straight to the end then we'll go back to the start did you fall in love did you both find love well I wouldn't say love but like I'm definitely in a happy place oh interesting wouldn't say love no I think I feel like the road to love's like a bit of a journey right and I just want that time on the outside to just get to know my person and just have fun and do normal life that is like the most normal and realistic response that anybody who's ever been through the bachelor franchise has ever given usually it's like oh I'm so in

love can't wait to have kids and it's because it's this incredible pressure cooker where it does create those feelings but then sometimes you come out of it and you're like am I in love or am I is this Stockholm syndrome have I been a captive I reckon Ellie's for sure in love I'm probably the most smitten i've ever been obviously this is a really unusual setup for the bachelorette this is something that's never happened before in australian bachelor what was your relationship growing up like and have you guys ever dated the same person before um beck and i actually didn't get along for quite a number of years um she was the cooler older sister and i really just wanted to hang out with her and she was like i don't want this chubby little tomboy anywhere near me

Normal though, right? For an older sister, like at that age where you're like 14, 15, you want to be like really cool with your friends. And when the little sister, this happened with me and my sister, little sister wants to come and hang out. She's like cramping your style. So when did that change? When did you guys become such good friends? Because obviously, I mean, well, from what we've seen of you and that's been pretty limited so far, but it seems like you guys are really close. I think it was when you turned like maybe 13 or 14 and Ellie started becoming more of a teenager. Do you know what?

I'm going to disagree. I think the time that it all turned around was when you got me drunk when I was 12 and then I had to be on your side and could no longer dob you into Dad because you had one up on me. Yeah, Ellie used to be Dad's little spy and she used to sit on the back of the fridge with her mortar and pestle and rock collection and just used to spy on us. So many questions about the mortar and pestle

and the rock collection but we're going to leave that for today. so have you guys ever been in a situation before you've liked the same guy growing up never well I don't think I was interested in guys until yeah I was a bit older and Becky had a boyfriend and then I got my own boyfriend and I don't know we're quite we're Beck and I are quite similar but we're also very different and the types of guys that we go for are very different like when it comes down to values and morals we want the same thing like you know good bloke down to earth a kind person kind of the kind of fellow that would help an old lady with her bags at the shopping center kind of thing but yeah when it comes down to it um no anyone that Becky's interested

in on automatically becomes brother to me so like I'm not going to try and get on with my brother you know and did you you haven't been interested in the same guy previously but did that happen at all throughout the season where did you either date the same guy kiss the same guy or at least at the start say oh we're both sort of interested in the same guy and then have to sort that out at the start I think there were a couple of guys we were both like oh he's cute like maybe we should both have a chat to him and see if there's any connections there for either of us and that's how we kind of like that was our strategy going into it was let's just talk to all the guys and just see how we feel see how they feel because it's there's two of us here like that's never

happened before so we've got to see who they like as well as who we like but yeah we never dated the same guys we never except for group dates we're both on the group dates and we never kissed the same guys like wouldn't that be weird so weird and that was one of my biggest issues when it all came out that they were doing it like a double bachelorette I was like how is this going to work and I think that that's been everyone's question throughout the whole thing so I have a bit of a question around the mechanics of it um like how do you stop yourself from dating the same person or are the guys divided up like or do you get to pick like how does that work what does that look like so if you think of it like walking into a pub and there's like a group of guys and like

you know you just basically basically we just met all the same guys got to know each other and then we had like a bit of a speech to the boys on the first night just saying like look we're not here to battle it out for guys like we love each other we're here to support each other on our journeys to find love alongside each other so you know we've got to figure out who we're each into and you guys got to figure it out as well and you know if you guys can be open and honest about that and upfront about that the sooner you are the clearer the clearer it is for us and what were most of their reactions like when they found out that there were two I'm going to assume they were happy all happy because it's you know they got double the chance of finding love and having a happy

ending but was there anyone that was like this is just fucking weird I think everyone was just confused and just in a state of absolute shock when they first saw us they're like what is going on here why is there two of you yeah I sort of think like imagine how I would feel like walking down the rose petal path and then seeing two blokes there I'd be like oh holy moly this just got interesting this really redefines the whole sister wife thing going on on the bachelor I just want to wind it back a little bit because obviously we've seen so much of your life and like your history and we've heard about your past dating life as well ellie just from your season with matt and what you know all unfolded on the tv there but becky we know very little about you

and we know very little about your past can you tell us a little bit about your dating history yeah so i think like in high school i was with i was with a guy for like about seven years but then i had a stint where i was i think i was single for like three or four years and they were they were good years those years where like i just found myself and yeah you know she's like too much too much I was gonna say something really rude and I just pulled the reins on that one we all know what you're gonna say don't worry yeah just made good friends and all that kind of thing but so many benefits of having some good friends you're making me all hot and sweaty got sweaty palms um yeah so my last relationship was was last year actually like I

had had all these grand plans to go and move overseas so I got like a UK working visa packed up my house sold everything and a couple of months before I went to do that I met this guy and I was like oh shit like I don't really I don't meet guys very often that I really really like and anyway we I went overseas so Ellie and I we went on our two-month Europe trip and we spoke whilst I was over there and at the end of that he came and met us overseas and I travelled with him for a month and at the end of that I was like you know what I don't want to be away from you I was like I really like you and I don't want to do the whole long distance thing like that sucks and so I made the decision to come back to Australia and give love a go. Honestly it was

like five weeks and she was in and she was just like you know sort of like battling between this lifelong dream of wanting to go to Europe and live in Europe and work and then you know had fallen so hard for this guy that she was sort of like trying to pull against it and you know and I think there were some red flags there for me like he's like I don't like to think that I'm a very jealous person but you know when you're kind of made to be felt like you're kind of going crazy and you're like looking at their Instagram like he's getting followers at like 2am at night of like 19 year old chicks and liking all these girls pictures and it's making you go crazy and you always just make excuses for people sometimes when you really want it to work and anyway I came

back to Australia and like I was doing a lot of travel in between parks where my family was in Newcastle because I hadn't gone back to work and I think a month kind of went past and his best friend who was a girl sat sat me down and said yeah he was like cheating on me trying to pull chicks even why we were in Europe and they're like telling each other that they love each other and this that and the other and the thing is before Becky even found this out from his best mate who is a legend we love her Becky knew like she was just crying for no reason just really anxious it was just like your intuition knew something was up and then when you know your when his mate came out and told you that yeah it was just almost like oh my god thank god i'm not crazy

yeah this is the thing though isn't it we say this all the time i was in a relationship for two years with a sociopath where i knew the whole time but i i buried it and you make excuses because you want it to work and and they figure they find other ways to make you feel good and comfortable and but hindsight's a wonderful thing but the best revenge possible is going on the bachelorette with your sister and falling in love so jokes on you sucker how did you feel though i mean obviously like that and that doesn't seem like it was so long ago like did you feel like you were like yes I'm ready to give this a very public shot at finding another person or was that still something that was really hard for you to overcome at the start I think for me because I'd given up an

opportunity for a man before and like a lifelong dream coming into the bachelorette I was like why not bloody give this a crack why not do this for myself like I know there was that media article that came out about how I was apparently in a relationship and all that which wasn't true like I was seeing someone for about four weeks and it was like it was a casual relationship and for me I was just like I need to do this for myself like screw this it's like you've already given up a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a bloke before who turned out to be an absolute dirtbag and it's like it's not it's not often that like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity comes back up so I think yeah for you at the time you were like I need to do this for me yeah and I was

like just ready to find my human and find my person so why not give this a go and I think your your question before I don't think I answered it properly but um like that experience last year didn't taint I guess me going into this like I'm very trusting in people and until they fuck me over then I will give you the benefit of the doubt but you know what I mean don't cross Becky I am scared in my pants right now Ellie I have a question for you so and maybe this is one of the rumors that are making its way around the fast media traps I read something the other day that you have actually dated one of the guys who's currently on this season so I'm sure we're going to see this all unfold but there's been something that's been teased in the very first

advertisement that's come out and you look very shocked to see someone walk in tell me about that yeah there is a guy um that comes on The Bachelorette that I had a little bit of history with Joey um yeah it will all come out on the show but um yeah look I didn't I guess the rumors that are going around was that like we were dating for months and you know I requested for him to come on the show and this that and the other and that's just completely false like we did know each other through some mutual friends and had a little bit of history there but you know that was left where it was and I had no idea he was coming going to be on the show like that was the biggest shock to me and I think you can tell that by the promo too and your reaction you're like what I know

honestly I couldn't even see him for until a certain point and then like my vision got better as he got closer and then I was like god I remember like seeing this tall figure walk down the path and being like oh gee he's all right I'm like oh yeah tradie that's all right and then yeah he's and then I could actually see his face I was like oh my god you are joking in regards to like the final of your season with Matt and then obviously getting over that experience and then dating in the real world why did you not go on Bachelor in Paradise we didn't see you on there you were very very absent was that something that was a conscious decision where you offered the opportunity talk me through that careful what you say because you know I was on it I um I was asked a couple of

times to go on it but for me like my i'm someone that does not like drama like i hate it i avoided at all costs and i think my main concern with bachelor in paradise was like you know if i was potentially into someone and then someone else would come in and then someone be cutting someone's grass and it would be catty and it would be bullshit and i just i didn't want to get around that i didn't want to put myself in that position so i want to know the people that you end up with obviously you're not going to tell us who they are fair the people that you end up with was it if you can tell us was it a slow burn was it something that developed throughout the season or was there just this moment where they walked in from day one and you were just like

holy shit i'm in trouble i'm in proper knee deep burning trouble i think for me i i think i knew pretty early on but i knew from my experience being on the bachelor last year that things can change as the um as the season progresses like that obviously happened for me I think I was a bit of a favorite from the start and then you know see you later see you later Ellie um so so I think for me like I I had a pretty strong feeling um yeah from that first night but I wanted to stay really open-minded because I did know that things could change um and for me I think our stories our journeys if i want to say the j word yeah our journeys were were very different and for me i was on struggle street right and up until the end so it's going to be interesting to

watch right until the final moment please tell me you didn't tell both of them that you love them though i didn't say the l word at all but do you mean like you mean it was sort of between two people you're really torn really she's nodding everyone yes yeah i didn't know what i didn't know what to do they were just very different people and I didn't know which way to go you could have probably just taken both of them given one to me just putting it out there just an idea well guys we can't wait to watch this season play out and for everybody who is looking forward to it it starts tomorrow night crazy and we can't wait to like watch along and see you guys fall in love and Ellie see you finally have your happy ending that we were all rooting for you last

season and Becky to see you fall in love as well well to fall into as close to love as what you're currently at no girls thank you so much for coming in we've loved chatting to you I'm actually super pumped and like sometimes I say that and it's not real but I really am super pumped to watch this thank you it's been so nice talking to you girls thank you for having us this has been so much fun and I still hate myself for the story I told um throw it away we love you for it This week there has been something that has been flooding everyone's Instagram feeds, Facebook feeds and every news and media outlet, not just in Australia but around the world

and rightly so. A local Bondi woman named Emity Sanderson has come forward detailing the absolutely horrific abuse she has received from a man named Tom McGuirk whilst online dating. This consisted of a series of abusive and harassing messages on multiple sites and from multiple fake profiles and a series of voice messages that will leave you both fuming and speechless all because she politely declined to spend the night with him. Since Ebony so bravely came forward to share

these details we have seen this case and conversation go viral and it's about bloody time. Multiple women from literally all over the world have come forward detailing their abuse and their interactions with Tom and we wanted to get Ebony on the podcast just to tell us more about the experience, why she felt compelled to go public with it and just to have a wider conversation conversation about consent. So welcome to the podcast, Ebony. Thank you. Thanks for inviting me on the podcast. Don't look so scared. You're like, oh, do I really want to be here? Waiting for the cue.

Thanks so much for coming on. We heard about this, obviously, like the rest of the world, and Laura and I just thought, far out. This is a conversation that we need to continue. And it's one of those things that it sort of goes everywhere for the first week or two. And then, like everything else, it sort of loses its momentum. But we didn't want this conversation to lose momentum so thanks for coming on and it had also been shared with us like the way that we actually found out about it was it was shared with us from people from our own community so people had been resharing the daily mail articles the news.com articles and saying like guys you should reach out to this girl and being that you're also in Bondi and very close down the street

we were like this is such an opportunity to have a really important conversation not just around online dating and protecting yourself on online dating but also around consent which is something that we're going to get into a little bit later on in the episode. But firstly, I just want to kick this off and just to give a little bit more context around who you are and who is Ebony. How long have you been online dating for? Okay, so I've been online dating for probably 18 months now. Oh, you're a baby. Yeah, I know. Oh, Britt's like spring chicken. She's like, please. When you hit the seven year mark, come back tonight. Well, I've actually always been a relationship person. so I'm only 26 and I've been in a four-year relationship twice so that's yeah right yeah

so in between that I've had a small gap where online dating wasn't too big I got straight into another relationship and then after that relationship it was kind of really exciting to to have a go online dating because it was brand new for me so so how many how many online dates joking you've been on because I know a lot of people a lot of my friends that have come out relationships and jump on online dating they say they've been online dating for like a year but they're actually when you haven't online dated before they're a bit scared to actually go on the dates and they're hesitant and they get nervous so have you actually been properly dating yeah so I was actually using all of the platforms for casual dating and I wasn't ready I thought

I wanted to kind of discover myself and become my authentic self so through online dating I found like I really discovered myself um I wasn't looking for a relationship initially I just wanted to meet people and from every single day I discovered what I like and what I don't like and then that's basically I feel like I've had a huge transformation in the last year um I'm a different person than I was in in a long-term relationship and I think at the moment that's why I like the idea of a relationship but it also really scares me because I know how much you can change and transition and get comfortable and I think this dating experience this online dating has allowed me to kind of yeah be myself meet these people and be like I don't need to

change who I am for them to like me and that's taken many dates I've I really have I was just like fuck it amen because I think that's we talk about a lot on the podcast a lot about you don't have to change who you are to fit someone else and a lot of women struggle with that we get a lot of questions about that what did I do wrong what can I do differently about myself and I think that's the number one thing to really drive home with people is you need to just be you and if they don't like it then that's just not the person for you yeah exactly like that's one of the gifts of online dating which I think that sometimes when you've been doing it for quite a while people kind of get exhausted and exasperated by it but one of the real things to take home from what you just

said as well is like this idea that you do get exposed to such a variety of different people who normally maybe wouldn't come into your life and it gives you that ability to kind of go okay I really like that characteristic in a person but I really don't like that characteristic and you know I know that I want this in my future boyfriend but fucking don't want that and I really feel like you had an experience where you were like well I know I don't want that so I want to jump ahead to what's happened with this guy Tom and what's been talked about quite widely on the media how did this start like what you match with him on tinder talk me through the very sort of beginning of that relationship or whatever that was and how it started to transpire and go

very very quickly south yeah so it's actually a little bit more complex and that's why it's hard to explain but we matched on tinder initially and i just didn't i didn't feel it and sometimes people give that vibe of course are you like whether they're looking for a relationship or whether they're looking for a one-night stand I just wasn't a fan of Tom's style I end up just unmatching him basically and then Hinge is another app that I use and you don't have to wait until you swipe them they can they can send you an emoji or comment on your bio or whatever it is not long after I'd unmatched Tom he'd found me on Hinge so he'd messaged me through Hinge and basically just been like oh you unmatched me like are you mad like you whatever was going on and

that's when we were talking and um I was all fine with that he kind of apologized and we'd moved on to um messaging through Instagram um and that there's nothing exciting about what happened before you know everything went down because for me it was general chat flirting and he seemed like a normal guy yeah I mean there was a few this is where now I'm saying like girls really need to trust their gut feelings go with what you're feeling your instincts because most of the time you're right so just to just sorry to clarify you matched on tinder and you did chat for a little bit and you just and you didn't feel it not long at all yeah like hey hello whatever and then you're like man not into it so you just unmatched him yeah okay so he obviously has taken an ego he

didn't like that and he's contacted you on hinge because anyone can contact you and you chatted to him there a little bit yeah um and then we moved to he wanted my other forms of social media and then I didn't think of you know he really wanted my snapchat rather than my instagram and like I don't really use snapchat and I have like some of my girlfriends that I snapchat but I was like why do you want my snapchat but I think this was as well the way that he does it and he works through you know sending and messaging and deleting I guess it's easier to erase yeah but also with with snapchat I guess it gives you that anonymity you know you can send a message and then within 10 seconds or however the platform works that message is gone and you know if

someone's screenshot something and you know if they've got evidence of that conversation but I guess in the beginning if you think everything is fine and normal there's no reason why you wouldn't progress and go okay well we can talk on snapchat or we can talk on whatever yeah so then how did so you met in real life you had actually caught up or you never actually met the guy I never met him so then how did it start going south so that day when he we matched on hinge um and were messaging I was basically at the library studying and there was a period where we weren't talking when I got home he basically expected for me to come over like he was um messaging and he thought you know oh you're home come over and when I said I was busy it took a

quick turn so basically he was like saying well who are you fucking who have you got there tonight um and at this point I was lying in bed I was tired like I'm fucking myself like no one that's really sad were the messages that you were doing in the day were they like okay sure they were probably flirty but were they on the road to you and him spending the night together like were you guys talking in that way was it like yeah maybe like we'll hook up later was it anything like that or was it just normal chat and he was like come fuck me yeah so I think that it was more flirty and you know and I'm not saying I wasn't from the start being like I need to be talking to you for this many weeks or we need to go on this many dates before I'd come over to your house

that wasn't I didn't send that message at all but that's why I was like why do you assume that I that means I'll come over whenever you want and that's where when I sent the message about basically feeling uncomfortable and how we as women have a right to change our minds so what happened when you said oh look i don't want to come over tonight i'm in bed like what was his response so initially he said he would come and pick me up from uni um he would drive to pick me up from uni and i declined um and then when i got home he said you know i'll get you an uber i'll pick you up and i said i'm i'm actually really tired i'm not interested in coming over tonight and that's when yeah he assumed you know what are you doing Friday what are you doing Saturday

and because I hadn't made plans it was like I'm seeing someone else I'm sleeping with someone else and I'm turning him down so he started getting really aggressive in his messages and that's when I decided yeah I'm gonna stand up for myself I never do it like you know I just let it go but I'm like he's forcing me to come over he's issued like expecting me to drop everything and go over when you were just saying that to me it made me feel a bit uncomfortable when he was like well I'll get you from your house I'll get you from uni uh I'll get you an uber well what about Friday what about Saturday I'd be like something's whoa like this is a lot and that's one of the things like you you mentioned it just briefly but I think it's something really important

to sit on is this idea of trusting your intuition when something is wrong and we say this all the time on this podcast but I don't think that it can be reiterated enough like your intuition is your warning sign it's your body telling you that something is wrong and I think that you know often as women we don't want to offend someone or upset someone and so we won't trust our intuition or we really want it to be a different way so we will ignore what our body is telling us and what we know to be right because it doesn't really suit how we want it to turn out so I think like that is one of my my big take-homes from the very start of this conversation is like always trust that little thing that's inside you that's saying like something is fucking wrong here so talk me through

I know that you have voicemail messages from him that you were happy for us to play on this podcast with your permission like I'd really like to be able to share that so people can see the extent of how it went from being a conversation around potentially hooking up that night to how quickly this conversation turned and how aggressive he became when when you changed your mind play those for you now if that's okay. I've got a bunch that everyone has heard they have been released on in different media outlets but you also have one that you didn't want to release and you you've given us permission to play that today so we're going to play that now i love it anyone who disagrees with a woman is a sexist that's it's uh that's one way to go through life and fat phobic

yes i'm fat phobic fat is disgusting you have to go to the gym and diet and you need some self-discipline uh you're gonna die early because you're unhealthy and you're unattractive i didn't beg before look you're actually a fat fucking pig you know that so thanks you did waste my time you're fucking ugly your ass looks okay and uh you would have been one fuck you would have been just one fuck and that would have been it because you're a disgusting fat pig look if you don't have issues if you call out someone for being the shit person you're a piece of shit and you're fat and you're ugly and you're ugly on the inside and the outside and i say that to shit people good people i treat well anyway um look at my fucking face i don't have struggle getting laid um i turned down

a chick tonight um so yeah I choose not to masturbate I choose not to cum a lot and uh look you just called me hot five minutes ago saying you think I don't need to get laid I don't struggle getting laid you're right I don't struggle getting laid and I especially don't need a four like you to get laid wow and just to like just to really reiterate guys like these messages were sent simply because ebony had turned around and said hey i'm not down for hangs and bangs tonight that was the retaliation for the rejection that he obviously felt it's almost contradictory with what he's saying isn't it because he's sitting here saying like i don't care i don't need you like you're a four whatever but he he cares a lot for

this guy to go to this much effort like he definitely has a bruised ego but even more than bruised ego I think it comes down to this assumption that he is better like that you don't have a right to reject him because he is ultimately better and this like the the inherent and like unbelievable misogyny that comes through in that is just beyond fucking revolting it's the fourth or fifth time I've listened to it and it doesn't get any easier to listen to and I still pick my jaw up off the ground that this abuse and these horrific voicemails and messages have literally come because you politely said hey I'm really tired tonight I don't think I'll come over that was it yeah and that's what I'm I'm annoyed about and what I really made like I highlighted

in my post was the fact that although he had said these mean things or was like forcing me to come over I still apologized I still said oh you're really attractive I'm sure you can you know jump online find someone for the night um you know I gave him compliments on his looks and I apologized excessively just for feeling uncomfortable and that's what annoys me it's like I felt the need to do that and then after doing that and copying this abuse and all of this mean things about my weight and my looks I was like why was I nice when it took him a split second to talk shit about me you're definitely not alone in that feeling 100% I know that because I've been in that position before we talk about it openly we get a lot of people writing about it we as women have this

inherent feeling to not hurt anyone's feelings to care for them um it's also really common with this narcissistic behavior to they put you in a position where you feel like you've done the wrong thing and you feel like you need to apologize and and the fact that you were still saying like I'm sure you'll be fine like I'm sure you get laid and I'm sorry about this and why do we feel the need to apologize and I think this is a really important part of this whole conversation today is that sure there's there's reason to be polite but when there are things like this situations like this happening that are putting you in this awkward position we need as women to be able to feel brave enough and have enough respect for ourself to be like hang on this isn't okay and

i'm not okay with it and i think that that's the conversation that's going to start from you coming forward and addressing it yeah we literally talked about this in our last episode where this idea that like inherently we are okay with making ourselves feel uncomfortable in order to not allow someone else to feel uncomfortable like we will we will take all of that energy on and sit in that just to make somebody else feel okay and be like oh like I'm sorry I'm sorry that you know you're you're feeling like this I didn't mean to create this situation when really you have absolutely nothing to apologize for and at any single point along a conversation that you're having with any guy at any time you're allowed to change your mind and

that's the absolute bottom line of this and I think coming from this experience and then looking back and then seeing all these red flags or with other people that I've spoken to or dated and I always I didn't get to this uncomfortable point because I took all the uncomfortable like I took all that energy so they never even realized that you know they were being rude because I was just catering for their behavior and we just we do that as women like naturally we just take that on or if they say something that makes us feel uncomfortable we don't we don't step up and say oh that makes me feel uncomfortable we just it's easy to bury that and they never ever get any of the consequences from saying those things so with that in mind what made you go public with

this what made you want to screen record the the conversations what made you want to screenshot his dating profile and say like ladies who are out there in Bondi who may be subjected to this man like what made you want to go public yeah so I think as soon as the abuse started I was like you know this sucks but my initial thought wasn't you know I'm gonna I'm gonna name and shame I'm gonna out this guy it wasn't until he automatically had another account to continue abusing me on so I thought this was this was set up perfectly like this this was a repeat offender basically and I knew that it wasn't the first time that he'd um that he'd done this so I stood on it like all night because I'd had to block him on you know every platform but he managed to to have

a new account or message me basically the messages on my post go from the voice memos to me blocking him to saying oh the fatty ran like fatty's running as in me blocking him was running away from the situation making different accounts so you couldn't you couldn't get away from him he would just make another account another account another yeah the thing is like now that this is all unfolded you know some girls have copped abuse from him from they've told me six or seven accounts and even in my comments when I'm getting trolled a lot of the time it's uncovered that people think it's in fact him through all these fake accounts so yeah initially my thought of why I'm going to share this is because you know he's quite attractive I thought a lot of people

would swipe it's hard not to judge on on tinder so I'm like if I share this on my instagram which you know at the time I had like 800 followers I'm like the girls that I know in Bondi will see it and maybe Bondi local loop will grab a hold of it and if anything I've warned a couple of girls and they won't have this same experience so that was my initial as well I like I'm quite body positive and I like to speak up for myself so I thought you know this is who I am I'm going to post it on my Instagram and warn people. What was the turning point though so you shared that on your social media but then it was obviously picked up by media and it has really gone viral I think that you know only two days ago it was the main heading news article on dailymail.com so what was

it that then happened for that to go from your account to being spread worldwide? Yeah so basically I uploaded it on the Friday and I did sit on it for a couple of hours and then I was like fuck it I'm going to share this and then on one of the videos I shared it with Clementine Ford and she's a really well-known feminist here in Australia and this is something that she shares a lot and she has a lot of experience with this and she calls them out she speaks up and then when she got a hold of this she basically sent me a message and said can I share this and I said sure I'd love for you to share this and then basically that's when it turned like I woke up you know new followers so many likes and all of these the crazy thing was the DMs that I had

because most of them were personal messages of people that knew him or his friends had dated them or you know it just blew up and yeah and that's what I knew I did the right thing because so many people were holding back from speaking up because of what he'd done and what he'd threatened them with or what he was blackmailing them with they couldn't speak up and part of this exposure that this news article and that your story had gained also meant that a whole wealth of other women who he has done this to came out of the woodworks and contacted you can you talk to me about that experience how many women have contacted you people who have related to this and have literally dealt with the exact same thing from this particular man it was it was crazy initially I

thought oh wow there's been about you know five or ten girls that have sent me their screenshots and told me their stories which were horrific and then it just kept unfolding and once you know the Daily Mail and all of the other journos have contacted me and shared articles it was just more and more and then so it's roughly about 30 women that have come forward and shared their messages a lot of the women this is what I hate as well they're messaging me saying how disgusting they feel because they had slept with him or how embarrassed they were because they didn't speak up and say anything and and that's where I've said to them like Tom had been using their their photos or their explicit images against them so these girls were too scared to say anything because we have

spoken about this and I know that you have spoken to these girls and asked permission to retell their stories and I think that's really important we'll never name names but we do have permission to be sharing their side some of the girls that this happened to that actually slept with him Tom had photos of them and he was threatening it was like blackmail essentially is that correct yeah so some of the messages that that I saw which scarily was a lot of the girls their screenshots were him threatening you know if if they were to say anything or if they were not to come over and sleep with him he would share their nude photos and videos with family and friends if you don't come and sleep with me i will share these to your friends so yeah so basically like using these

photos against all of them and then there was also screenshots of had he had their instagram friends or family saying i know who they are and i know who you work so you know i'll share it with them this is a next level from i mean what what has happened to you is horrific but to be blackmailing and threatening someone a for sex you you have to have sex with me or I will ruin your life essentially and then bringing in your friends and family it's just this I think this goes a lot deeper than anyone actually realized at the beginning well it definitely went a lot deeper than what you realized at the beginning right like I think at the beginning you were just assuming that this was some like misogynistic asshole who took a bit of rejection poorly and

actually this has been repeated and malicious behavior that he's managed to get away with because we haven't connected the dots but thanks to social media and thanks to the fact that you did take your story public this whole web of women who have been affected by this man have come out and said hey me too and I think that like that's one of the things you know you can use social media for bad but social media can also be used for good and also connects people in a way that we weren't able to do in the past and it also shows now as well that the things that you do on social media have real life and real world repercussions and that's the that's the real thing you know like you you can't treat someone badly or speak negatively or be horrendous to

someone on your online platform because you know in the end of this Tom actually ended up losing his job and his employer ended up firing him yeah that that happened so once Clementine had shared her post so many women had actually written formal emails and sent them through to his employer and his CEO so it was within a matter of it was under 12 hours and there was that email that came back to say he'd been fired like effective immediately so that action was taken like extremely quickly and on a weekend so the CEO basically you know looked at his contract these aren't the values that he stands for or his company and he also shared that he has four daughters from the age of nine months to 10 years old and that you know this makes him feel sick that he would never want

anything like this to happen to his daughters I've got a quote from him here actually that I just wanted to read his name's Dave Scott I was shocked and disgusted to hear the disrespect and entitlement towards women appear in the recordings and messages attached to the Instagram post I strongly reject any behavior of this kind at any time in any place for any reason there is no excuse that makes this okay ever as soon as I heard the recordings and saw the images I instantly determined this as an act of serious misconduct the awareness of this act rendered Thomas McGuirk as unsuitable for continuing employment with Invenco and I terminated his employment effective immediately at 8 53 a.m on Saturday morning I think that his words are so powerful I love that

it's come from a man I love that he said there's no excuse will not tolerate it publicly put it out there so yeah I just really wanted to get those quotes from Dave Scott out I also just want to touch on as well like I mean you know I think you've been incredibly brave by sharing your story and I don't think you realized at the time just how brave that is I think as women we are often subjected to things or conversations or comments where we just kind of go okay that was shit and that was a bit of a awful experience but you know what I'm not gonna make a big deal about it I'm gonna bury it I'll get on with my life and so in this instance by you coming and speaking out it's connected all these dots and there are real life ramifications for this but I wanted to get you

want to talk about this because I genuinely think that this is something maybe not on such a grand scale but this is something that women deal with all the time especially on online dating. I think this is something that would really really apply to and relate to a lot of women who have lowered their standards or bent their standards in a way to try and make somebody else feel better or and walked away from a situation where they're like I really wish I hadn't slept with that guy but they felt pressured into it. And I know, I like, I know myself that I've had sexual experiences with someone and I'm never going to say that it was, that I was made to do it, but I was certainly coerced. And in that moment, I felt too uncomfortable to say no. So I just did it because

doing it was easier than getting up and leaving. But I really want to like reiterate this point around consent, that consent is a very flexible thing. Consent can change at any time. And you can literally be on top of a guy and in the middle of it and get off and say I don't want to do this anymore and a normal reasonable good person will go okay what's happened that's fine but like you know like let's talk about it that would be a normal response from a guy if a guy is angry or he's badgering you or he's pressuring you to continue that's somebody who has really fucking shit morals and I think that we see that more often than not the badgering um you know that come on come on come on come on like that sort of mentality is something that I think women are

subjected to all the time and it's something that you know you really need to have the confidence in yourself to say no to yeah there's definitely never an end point with consent doesn't matter what point you're at like you just said you could be well our body language is consent like I think consent is so fluid and that's why when you are in a relationship that works well you have great communication and you're able to basically if it's yet straight up saying no yes or no that's consent but also your body language your mood like consent comes in all different forms and and like you said at any point whether you've met them whether you've slept with them several times whether you're married in a relationship like you have the right as a woman um and a man like anyone

has a right to basically say no and not have these repercussions the unfortunate thing is we as women learn this the older we get and the more we become ourself and find who we are and we're exposed to this which is why we want to really drive this home we have a really young audience and hey all you guys out there listening I really want you to know that you can say no and change your mind at any time there's another woman that has come forward her name is Erin Hines she's 26 and she was one of the women that slept with Tom basically she slept with him a few days later she decided she didn't want anything from him further and that's when her abuse started because she didn't want to continue to sleep with him once he realized that she wasn't interested

anymore he started to bombard her with this abuse and horrific messages as well she asked him to stop she said she's not interested then he started to threaten her about harassing her at work she blocked him and then all of a sudden there were other accounts that she was matching with that were saying that they were friends of Tom and they're going to start harassing her now it's pretty evident that this was tom again um because she's like you don't know where i work how are you going to harass me she goes tom told me and the friends are like tom told me tom told me so he found out where she works he was this is proper stalking harassment i'm just gobsmacked and it makes my blood boil she has come out to tell her side of the story and she is actually copying

abuse and being trolled online with people slut shaming her literally being like you shouldn't have gone and fucked him on the first night that's what people wrote to her well you went and slept with him on the first night it's it's like saying you wore that short skirt you asked for it and so she has finally been brave enough to come out and tell her story and she's been trolled for it and I I just like I want to scream from the top of my lungs but Ebony you actually said to me before we started this um interview that you have received messages from people who were like well you must have let him on in some way you must have done something that initiated or sparked this sort of reaction or retaliation from him can you tell me a little bit about that yeah so

to be honest I have barely been reading the comments because of those reasons and most of the time they've been really pathetic comments from accounts that have you know a follower but yeah basically they're asking me to share the whole story or you know what am I recording say and I guess they're missing the whole point of my of my post and why I'm sharing this which is exactly the point that um I'm trying to make is that women can change their mind like it doesn't matter what the conversation was before all of this I said I was uncomfortable I let him down nicely and that was the point where I have the right to move on and not not have this backlash from someone that expects you know sex from me when he wants it 100 well I like that Erin actually

continued to stand up for herself and she she has made statements like just because I'm a woman people expect that we don't just want sex too yes I went to have sex yes I like sex I mean yes women like sex just as much as men and I don't understand this mentality that why a man can want sex and a woman can't we're all human everyone does it it's archaic in the sense that you know we do think that in 2020 and that progressively we've moved on from the whole oh what were you wearing before that happened you know like what did you say to him before that attack happened whereas really I think there are still remnants of that sort of mentality that exists in our society and there is still blame and there is still shame and there is still guilt

that's associated when a woman is treated in a really horrendous way as a retaliation to saying I don't want to have sex with you and there is there is often I mean one it doesn't matter if you've said you wanted to in the start or not the start of the conversation is doesn't doesn't not matter at all however there are instances where people don't even have those conversations and yet they're still attached with blame and they're still being treated as though they've done something wrong yeah and that's what makes me furious and and what I'm trying to share it didn't matter if I went over there and I had slept with him or mid like mid and decided I'm not I'm not comfortable this is it for me like I'm still entitled to do that like consent is fluid and we

have the right to change our mind and this I hadn't met him and this was you know I didn't want to meet up and basically yep the rejection obviously he didn't take it well but you know there is no excuse ever to fat shame or anything to talk to a woman like that I just don't think any sort of apology or any sort of you know excuses around me leading him on or people are saying well why didn't you block him you know I did for starters but that's not the point I shouldn't be the one that has to take the action and block him he's he's trolling me he's harassing me why is it always the women's responsibility to like take action and block them or report them or deal with it when I think you know it's their behavior that they need to sort out and they need

to be called out for acting like pigs because they never have consequences for it like that's how it should be, you know, and in a perfect society, it's not our responsibility to protect ourselves. It's their responsibility to not fucking do it. Like that's where we need to get to as a society. But I just wanted to touch on, because today, today's the 2nd of October when we're recording this, but today there's been an article that's come out on news.com, which says Sydney man, Thomas McGuirk speaks out is deeply sorry for vile Tinder messages. And I just want to like read out his quote. He wrote, I didn't mean the things I said. I was acting out of an impulse in a way because I was hurt and I do recognize that. It was absolutely inappropriate

behavior and I'm really disappointed in myself. I was behaving so inappropriately and didn't even realize it until this came out and it hit me. What am I doing? He said that the way he was behaving was wrong, stating he struggles with rejection. However, at no point in this article has he commented on the fact that he's done this numerous times and no point in this article is there really any responsibility taken I feel like this is an apology because obviously he's been caught out how do you feel hearing that apology well for starters it's taken seven days for any response so this has really been it's something that he had to address but I feel like you know to take seven days to even you know that's not a real apology I'm gonna straight up call bullshit on

this I was acting on impulse you were not you spent days thinking about it before you made fake accounts to troll people again you may you spent days thinking about it making fake accounts to go and harass women at their workplace you had days holding on to women's nude photos to blackmail them into coming and having sex this is not impulse i'm sorry buddy but i'm calling bullshit on you you're doing this because there's an investigation into him and he's trying to cover his ass and keep himself out of jail and going on a sex offenders list i would say yeah and it's so general like what about the women you know this isn't apologizing for blackmailing or apologizing for um mentioning he would turn up to people's workplaces this is just apologizing because i've

posted this and he realizes that it's disgusting and not that i think he's actually really realizes that what he's done is wrong but you know the apology isn't to the 30 plus women that i know of so no you've just nailed it nailed it on the head like there's no acknowledgement of stalking there's no acknowledgement of harassment there's no acknowledgement of the fear that that can create in a person there's just this like oh I I'm sorry this isolated case I realized I behaved in I behaved poorly I'm not sure if you saw he um had lots of abuse about making fun about me like eating McDonald's and KFC and having greasy skin like it got to the point where it was very like I couldn't even respond I wasn't responding because it was like so pathetic but yeah those

sort of when people start you know picking on you for certain features like to me I'm like that's that's that's below that's below me I'm not even going to you know acknowledge or respond I think it also highlights the fact that it's a whole nother conversation that we'll get into on another day but the fact that we still do need to be careful with online dating there is still this element of safety that we need to think about I know that it can be the same as well it's the same as meeting someone in a bar I agree but I think it's really really important to if you want to go home with someone I'm here for that that's so fine just let someone one person in your life know who it is send them your profile screenshot it let them know where you're going it just it

just highlights to me that you know there is this element of risk involved in online dating it's the same as if you meet someone in a bar but cases like this highlight the importance of just being hyper aware of that and always letting someone in your life know who you're with where you're going when you're going when you expect to be back yeah that's why for me this is actually a really good like from this I've learned to you know I need to be a bit more vigilant online because I am very carefree um I'm and which I shouldn't have to think about my safety but when I'm online dating I'm not really you know I'm not paranoid about who they're going to turn out to be I'm not scared to you know talk to them send them my social media accounts or meet up with them but

I think this experience definitely has just you know I've learned a lot from this and I know that I will make sure I take extra precautions which I hate we have to do as women but it is something for our own safety that we need to consider online with online dating absolutely and I think you know obviously we've spoken a lot about this specific person Tom like he has now a face and a name and everyone is very very aware of what he looks like and that he's someone to look out for if they see him on a dating platform again. But what is so important about this conversation is that this conversation isn't isolated to Tom. This isn't as much as this conversation is directly about him in a greater and more wider understanding. This is about other men who are out there who behave

in very similar ways and how there's this lack of consequence for that. And what I want to remind everyone is that there is power on social media. There is power in speaking your truth and there is power in standing up for yourself and you know ebony by you sharing your story that's empowered so many other women it's also brought this conversation back up to the to the top of the list of people's priorities and reminded people that if you're treated in a way that you're uncomfortable with if you're treated in a way that goes against your morals your you know your respect for yourself what you want out of a relationship then you always have agency and you always have choice and you can call someone out for their absolutely shitty behavior and that

there's a real life consequences for social media and for the way you treat someone online and I just want to say thank you so much for coming on here and sharing your story giving your side of it and giving more context to it because I know that so many people have read it on the news or seen it in daily mail but it's really nice being able to hear it actually come from your words and your experience I just want to finish off with everything Laura said amen the last little bit is just because these are things that really hit home because I've been in a situation when you were saying that all these women have messaged you and a lot of them were sort of on the same wavelength where they were saying I feel disgusted I feel embarrassed I feel mortified this is why I

couldn't tell anyone to these women that have ever been in this situation to any woman that is going to unfortunately be in a future situation there is nothing to be ashamed of in this situation there is nothing to be embarrassed about um I even said to you on the phone Ebony I was like I know that you might feel embarrassed by some of the voice messages and if you don't want to share we won't etc but this is nothing to do with you this is all on them and don't ever ever feel too embarrassed or ashamed to speak up and ask for help or tell your story and that's what I want to finish on and again thank you so much we really appreciate you coming in and telling your story and being brave enough to to share it in depth so thank you no I appreciate you inviting me on here

and kind of me being able to share this story because from the response that it's gotten like has gotten i know like how important it is um how relevant is and yeah how real this is for it for everyone all over the world all right guys you know we don't wrap an episode without our second suite our highlights and our lowlights for the week and Laura you can kick it off this time I don't think of what mine were again what's your suck so my suck is is that I feel like we've missed like we missed summer in Bondi last year because the bushfires and everything else and then obviously we've all been in lockdown and it's been a long time since I've been subjected to the Bondi parking situation

and normally we record this podcast at my house and so I never have to leave I don't have to go anywhere I don't have to do anything Brittany walks up the street but I'm too I'm too pregnant and my hip hurts and so I had to drive like the 500 meters that it is to Brit's house and then I drove around for 20 minutes trying to find a car park because it's 35 degrees today and a public holiday and I ended up having to then drive home and walk anyway so that's my suck my suck is is that parking in Bondi sucks literally okay and my sweet is my sweet is that we got to spend oh it's such like it's a nothing sweet but it's been a long weekend we got to spend the whole weekend at the beach and it's great. But that's fine. That's good. When was the last time you just

got to chill at the beach? No, it's been a while. This is what I mean. Look, one, I take the bad parking with the good, which is being in the ocean. I like, this is the first time this has happened to me. I had a really good week. I don't, I physically, I'm like racking my brain for a suck this like physically i'm breaking my own rule and i don't have one my sweet my sweet that's it you're gonna leave it there you don't have a suck you're gonna do it fine you know what if i'm going to find one i have had has anyone had this before uh you get it when you're pregnant i hear that's what i've read restless leg syndrome it's a real thing yes oh my god i had it so bad the other night i was so tired so tired and i think when i get stressed and my brain thinks about a lot

that's when it hits my legs and I was pleading with myself in my brain please go to sleep I'll stop set I'm like sleep sleep sleep and I couldn't I had restless legs so bad that I reckon I laid in bed until 4 35 a.m fell asleep for about an hour and a half that was it then I got back up I knew you would have something to complain about if I just poked hard enough yeah you just kept poking the bear um but I had a really good sleep the next day anyway so I feel like I made up for it my sweet for sure is it was my sister's well it's her 30th birthday week well now we've rounded it up to a week so I managed to pull off a surprise which is you know almost impossible with her because she's like a little detective but um I organized she thought I was taking her to brunch

we went to brunch but then the seaplane landed and I got her in the seaplane and we went up in the seaplane and it was the most magnificent day over Sydney if anyone ever gets to do that it really is beautiful I felt like it should have been like a proposal or something because I took her boyfriend as well like I took Jay so the three of us were there and I was like this feels like it should be like this big elaborate thing but it wasn't your sister's there thinking she's getting proposed to and then she's like oh this is just for my birthday well this is wildly disappointing and then we landed and then all our friends were there for a surprise lunch and cocktails and it was really nice and she was really happy and her happy is me happy so that's my sweet oh

do you know what else my sweet is i'm just gonna tell you guys when i got here today after complaining about how i had to walk and i'm like this pregnancy is very different to the first pregnancy the first pregnancy everything was so easy and this pregnancy we're only like just past the halfway mark and shit's going downhill real quick it really is my hips are already like out like anyway i got to brit's house i've been walking down the hill and i was like my car my hip my hip hurts and i laid down on the couch and brit gave me a butt massage and that is what real friends are for people but you know what the best part of that is it wasn't even weird. Also Laura walks in. That's it really right there. Oh, that's the spot. This

isn't even weird. It's so fine. This is how, you know, you have a strong friendship. Laura walks in, goes to my fridge, grabs a piece of pizza, lays on the lounge. She's like, rub my butt. It's sore. And I was like, yeah, baby's got you. So I think that is how, you know, you've got a friendship. Well, anyway, guys, thanks so much for listening to another episode of Life Uncut. we hope that you have loved this episode we know it's a biggie we know we had two interviews back to back which is very very different for us oh my goodness look at us trying new things but we'll go back to the normal format next week and if you haven't followed the facebook page it's life uncut podcast if you haven't jumped on the instagram page then make sure you do because we

had that four million giveaway which we're going to be doing this week and tell your mom tell your Dad, tell your friends, tell your lover, tell your cat, tell your dog. Tell your cat. I know, it's a new one. And go road baggage. Share the love. Because we love love. I hope that was an excellent one.

We'll be right back.