Life Uncut - Snapped right off - The Best of The Pick Up 12th August.

Episode Date: August 12, 2023

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys and welcome to our radio show. I'm Brittany. And I am Laura. And I'm Mitch. Yeah, and this is where we have Midge.

Why are you so serious? I'm an earring now. I'm so cool. Yeah, look, it looks great. It's also a little bit infected and a little bit swollen, but it looks beautiful. I'm here for the puffy ear. So you did get an earring.

What was the driving force behind that? All the Life Uncut fans messaging me, gassing me up, being like, you're so hot. You're so hot now. Love the hot girl walks. And I'm like, yes. I need an earring. All these women in my DMs.

Do you know what this is? This is the same as a female cutting a fringe. this is your breakup piercing. Like I went through a breakup, I got a tattoo down my side and cut a fringe. It was a big breakup. It was a tumultuous time. Yeah, a piercing.

It's your breakup piercing. Wait, do you think this is like this is from the breakup? Oh, yeah, 100%. I didn't get anything though. I don't even have a tattoo. Baby, you change your hair more often than anyone I know. Yeah, but that was when I'm in a relationship, before a relationship, after a relationship.

I have problems with my hair. What colour were you last? Blonde. Blonde and short. Yeah, a short blonde bob. I never knew you blonde, Bobba Girl. Bobba Girl. I never knew you were a blonde bubba girl.

Believe it or not, I was a blonde bubba girl. Britt has been black. She has been blonde. She has been long-haired brunette. Only natural colours, though. Would never do a pink. Brown, short, long, spiky, extensions, no extensions. Really?

Would you do that blunt cut, like Brunswick fringe, the really short one? I had pseudo-fringe. You would. Okay, I had a haircut that I'm not proud of when I was in – I was in year 11 and 12, so I was like 17, and my nickname, people started calling me Lego Man because I had black hair and I cut a straight fringe and then it went down into a bob.

I looked like I had a black helmet on. Speaking of bad haircuts, I used to have hair that was really long that I could sit on when I was a little kid. When I say little kid, I mean like 15. It was long, long, long. Actually, no, it must have been younger. It must have been 12. Anyway, not important detail.

No one was questioning it. Actually, sorry, I was 13. Just in case anyone goes back through my school books and my e-books and figures it out. No one's doing that. My mum and my dad were separated and I used to play them off against each other and I really wanted to get my hair cut but my mum wouldn't let me.

And then it was like a weekend at my dad's house and I was like, oh, mum said that I could go to the hairdresser and get my hair cut this weekend. So he took me and he didn't supervise me and I got an undercut and my mum cried. An undercut? What's an undercut? Where they shave it underneath.

It's just a fancy mullet. Yeah. I looked like you. Wow. Thanks a lot. You just reminded me, I used to play my parents off against each other as well. Your parents are still married though. My parents.

How old were you though? Okay, I can tell you. It was 14, nine months. Fuck off. No, listen. My mum and dad have still been married 46 years. So they were together and happy. It's not like I went to different houses in the same household.

And I really wanted to get my belly pierced. And my mum had always only said I couldn't get it pierced until I was 18. I was an adult and I could make the decision. Right? Yeah. And this was an uphill battle. I'd been so upset about it for so long because all my friends were getting it done and they were all super cool in their bikinis

and I had a plain naked belly button. How dare my belly button be so boring? So I went to my dad and I was like, oh, dad, thank God mum finally said yes about the belly button. Can we go after school? And he was like, oh, she finally came around, didn't she? And I was like, yeah. Everyone else had it.

He's like, I always loved the idea of that. He did. He's like, I'll take your possum. So my dad took me and I got my belly pierced and my mum hit the roof, But mainly at my dad because she's like, why wouldn't you check when your manipulative little daughter comes to you and just goes, mum said. That's gold.

Yeah, but I am such a daddy's girl. I think deep down he knew and he was just doing it for me. Did you like it when you finally got it? Well, no. Now I have a hole in my belly button and I haven't worn it in like 15 years. Belly button piercings were such a fad. Like so many girls had them and wore those stupid little tassel bauble things. And they were so in and now they're not really in and everyone has holes.

Just like a big gaping belly hole. I reckon I could still put a piercing in that, you know. Yeah, totally. After like 15 years. Life Uncut merch. Guys, I've re-pierced all my earrings. I'm not making fucking belly rings. Now I'm like, you could string me up like an ornament, a Christmas tree.

You do have a lot of bobbles on your ear. Can you send me some Tony May? Because all I've got is this sleeper that I got from- Sleeper? Wait until you don't have an infected ear. That's not the sort of marketing I need for my jewellery right now. You walking around with a pussy ear. Hashtag gifted.

Hashtag staff infection. Hashtag Tony May. Cellulitis. Trust me, you did not get that cellulitis from any Tony May piece of jewellery. Put it that way. The offices are so beautiful. I saw them briefly before I passed out from the blood poisoning. All right, I'm going to tell you what's on the show today.

We've got a big show. We've got some big Hollywood guests on today, believe it or not. We've got Ruby Rose. Imagine if there's people sitting there going, I don't believe it. Believe it or not, if you don't believe it, tune out. Tune out. How old were you again when you got the advocate? She can't be sure she's getting back to us next week.

She's got to go through the school. It's the staph infection from the earrings. Also, shit, with my new haircut and my earring, Ruby Rose will be like, is that a mirror? Oh, yeah, very similar. I look like Ruby. A few little minor discrepancies, but similar. Sure. Let's not tell Ruby that.

Let's not tell Ruby. We have the same haircut and piercings. No, we've got Ruby Rose and Daniel McPherson on. It's a big show. Now, today on the show as well, for me, I'm on my hot girl era, on my hot girl walk era, as you all know, and I've joined a gym and they praised me at the gym this week. They put my name on the wall.

I got client of the week and something went down in the celebrations of my client of the week event that I want to tell you all about. Okay, and something I am sharing with you, I know I've talked about a little bit on the podcast of last week how we are packing up and we are moving at the moment. Well, I went and checked out the new rental that we have

and look, there was something very unexpected there waiting for me. So all that and more coming up. Was it a ghost? Was it Ruby Rose? Oh, he played it again. Was it a ghost? No.

Oh. It was, I mean, it was stiff and long. A corpse. Yeah, exactly. There was a corpse. Definitely what you don't want to move in with, isn't it? The ghost is coming. It stunk as well.

Ghost will be here next week. He's in Purgatory. All right, enjoy the show. Okay, bye. All right, before I get into this story, something that happened to me recently. So we're in the process of getting ourselves a new house and it's hard at the moment to find a good rental property, right?

Isn't it? It is hard. it is slim pickings and everything is extremely overpriced. But anyway, recently we signed on a new lease and we have, because we've got so much kid stuff, I wanted to make sure that all the stuff we had is going to fit in this new house that we're moving into. So I asked the real estate agent if we could go in and have a look at the place again, which I know is kind of, I mean, it's not really the done thing, but there's, cause there's someone living there right now, right? There's a tenant in the house. Yeah. So anyway, asked him if we could go in and measure

some stuff up and they were like yep no problem so I walk in to the house and it looks beautiful like the tenant has really cleaned it up for us and I was like this is going to be our new home and I was so excited and I walked in and I was going through the bedrooms at the front of the house and everything was great it's obviously a guy who's renting it I'm thinking he's probably a pretty well-to-do man because he's renting a family home but it's just one single dude so I walk in and everything looks lovely and then as I get further and deeper into house I was like what is that smell like why does the house stink walk into the master bedroom suite that has a little ensuite there and I was like wow this does not smell good in here thinking maybe there's

something wrong with the plumbing that would have to raise and I walk into the bathroom now this man knows I am coming to inspect the house he knows I am coming this day he knows at 12 o'clock, the new tenant has a key and she's coming inside the house. And so what has he done? He has left an enormous log, an enormous poo. I'm talking a fully snapped off, massive, like chipotle sausage that you could hold in two hands, sitting in the toilet bowl with no toilet paper, not a square.

So he snapped one off and he's had a shower. He's gone and done a poo and then he's obviously wall doodled it across to the other side to the shower and had a shower. In his defence, he was like, yeah, he's probably ticked off. He's like, this is a rental. You don't get to just come and go however many times you want to come back and check out the place because you didn't get a good enough look. Who leaves a poo in the toilet?

The guy that's like, stuff you for coming back 100 times to my house. Yeah, I'm on his team, Laura. He's still paying rent. You're in his space. He's paying for that poo, yeah. You're in his area. He didn't come into your house and drop a turd off. It was my house.

No, it's not. No, it's not. It's still here. What would you do? What would you do? Flush the toilet. Flush it. I left it.

These images were not displayed on the domain listing. I'm never going to be able to sit on that toilet and not think of his poo. I did the opposite because I just moved out of my place with my partner because we split up and I left a photo of the two of us on the wall for the new tenants because I was too spiteful to pack it. So they're going to move in with this beautiful gay couple on the wall. Surely the real estate agents go through and check for this stuff. Ashley, hi, Ash.

Hi, Ash. What happened in the move out of the rental property? What went wrong, Ash? So when I was moving in, this was the first time I was moving out by myself. I was so excited. It was the cheapest rental in my area. And I was like, you know what? It's actually not looking too bad.

I moved in and within like the first few days, you're sort of looking at all the cupboards and that kind of stuff. So I've gone into the bathroom and up in the bathroom cupboard, it was full of used pads. Who puts used pads and tampons back in the cupboard? They're single use, everyone. No. Single use.

They're never usable. I can see it. That's actually disgusting. What did you do? That smell. I have to admit, I was pissed off. I called the real estate and I was like, this is disgusting. And they were like, oh, we're sure that this has been checked.

Are you sure? Yeah, I'm sure. What do you mean, am I sure? You're like, please don't gaslight me about what I just found. I didn't do it in my sleep. You're like, I'll take a photo, put it in the inspection report, the condition report. I did.

I did. So I have a photo to prove it still. Well, make sure you put them all back when you move out. Right. We'll get that photo on the – Ew, no, don't listen to Laura Byrne. Burn them. We'll get that photo on the pick-up socials, everyone, as soon as we can.

Same with the turd photo, Laura. Swipe, swipe. It's going to be an album. It's a great carousel. I reckon it's still sitting in the toilet to this day. Thank you, Ashley. Excited for this, guys. You may have heard of 2.22.

It is a ghost story, the play on Now in Melbourne. It's an Olivier-nominated production, winner of the Best New Play. It burst onto the West End in 2021, LA in 2022. It is now in Australia, starring none other than Ruby Rose and Daniel McPherson. They're joining us now. Hey, hey, hey. Hey.

Hi, guys. How are you? What an intro that was. Hey, can you guys give us a little rundown on what 2-2-2 is? 2-2-2-2-2? 2-22. Shall I start? Yeah, 2-22 is a ghost story.

It was written in London. It was performed around the West End. It's been done in the US, and this is the first time it's been done in Australia. It's set around a dinner party in a newly gentrified suburb and a newly kind of gentrified house that Gemma Ward and Remy He own, own and are building, and it is a dinner party that goes wrong with the potential arrival of a ghost. And we spend the night debating whether ghosts are real

or whether we're imagining things and whether they're in fact is something haunting us. And there's a few twists and turns along the way and a few scares to the audience. Do you ever eat dinner? Is a meal ever eaten or is it all discussed? Does a meal go cold? Dan, I've seen Dan eat it.

Yeah, okay. Interesting. I made the mistake of eating it, like, for real the first couple of shows and then realised that that's not a good idea. Yeah, no one wants you to be eating and performing at the same time. Can you guys tell me, what does 2.22 mean? What is the significance of that? Ooh.

You'll have to see the play to find out. Oh! You're good, Ruby, you're good. That's a good one. 2.22 is a very mystical time. It's that time between 2 in the morning and 3 in the morning that they consider it to be the witching hour. You know they say nothing good happens after 2.22.

I'll tell you something, and I swear this is completely true, and I haven't even told Ruby this yet today. I woke up last night. I had to go to the bathroom because that's what you do in the middle of the night when you're 43. And I got back to bed and I hit my leg on the bed and I was like, oh, that's really sad. And I grabbed my phone and it was 2.22.

Oh, my God. Ghosts. Let's come in. Okay, serious question because I, it's Brittany here, you can't see me, but I am believing ghosts. I have seen multiple ghosts in my lifetime. Do you guys actually believe in it or are you just a really brilliant actor and pretending to believe in them?

I believe in them. I absolutely believe in ghosts. So, Ruby, have you ever seen one? Well, not like you, so casually just saying like I've seen quite a few. You sound very I see dead people. We hang out all the time, yeah. You know, I feel like you've seen everybody. But I've just seen sort of noises and movement in the dark.

And I've had that feeling, the cold feeling in an abandoned psychiatric ward where I was shooting before and had some odd things happen there. And definitely, you know, but not seen a ghost the way that you so confidently mentioned, which I'm kind of jealous of. I'm glad you specified then that the abandoned psychiatric ward was for shooting. So thanks for the clarification. It was just a weekend trip. Thanks for clarifying.

The only ghost experience I've had is the very Aussie ghost experience of thinking you have a ghost, freaking out, going to the attic, and then there's a family of ringtail possums. I was about to say the same thing. Oh, did I spoil the ending for the play? There you go, guys. It's all possums. Rue and Daniel, you're living together at the moment. Is this just while the play is happening?

How long have you been living together? It's been about five weeks, isn't it, Dan? Yeah, look, it's maybe five weeks. It's our sixth week now. I'm standing in my room in a robe, though, so hopefully not in this room. Okay, but I'm sharing a bed. I'm in my room under the bed covers because I was a bit cold.

So, you know, it's really a very raunchy situation we're in right now. Yeah, the entire cast is living in the same building down here in Melbourne while we're working in a magazine. So it's a little bit like, you know, it's good. I'm going to hang out. We'll go to work together and drive home. And it's very communal. It's very enjoyable.

Well, I want to ask you both, but Dan, we'll go you first. What is, and like you have to say it, What is Ruby's worst habit since you've been living together? And you'll get your chance, Ruby. Don't you worry. Gee, what is Ruby's worst habit? You're pretty good, mate. It's too diplomatic a radio thing.

No, no, no, no, no, no. No, she sits up too late, Uber Eats after shows. Oh, Uber Eats. What's your go-to order, Ruby? Is your on the sushi after the show? Do you carb load? Oh, I'm terrible. I've gone from everything from McDonald's to sushi to, you know,

spicy Chinese. There's nothing that I won't eat. I just get starving. I get really hungry after we, especially on double show days. I can imagine. Yeah, I can imagine. Now you serve it back, Ruby. What's Dan's worst habit living with him?

Well, he doesn't really have any except, I will say, that his voice carries. So when he's prepping prior to a show, it sounds like there's an episode of Australian Idol going on and he's auditioning and he's in his room because I can hear him just singing and hitting the notes and not hitting the notes and trying again. I hope it's just singing.

No, there's nothing good about living in an apartment with thin walls. No one likes that. I do want a lot of vocal warm-up, all right, but I'm not quite a singer. Dedicated to the craft and you can see it. It's now on in Melbourne until August 22, 2022. Ruby Rose and Daniel McPherson. Guys, the chemistry's great.

This would be a great show, don't you think? I can't wait. I want to know, is that scary? Like, is it scary to watch? I think it's thrilling, and I think some people have gotten spooked. Okay. I'll have to come and see if I can feel any ghosts actually in the room. I'll have to come and actually suss it out.

Oh, wow. Well, it's hard to imagine this theater. There has to be a ghost there. We will find it. I'll find it. I'll sniff it out. Go and grab tickets now. Ruby Rose, Daniel McPherson, chookers for the shows, guys.

Great to have you on. Thanks, guys. Good luck, guys. Thanks, guys. As you ladies know, I'm in my fit girl era. I'm doing my hot girl walks. Hot girl era. I'm going to the gym.

I'm almost down 20 kilos, feeling really good. It's amazing. You look amazing. It's all we hear about is your workouts, but we love that for you. Too much, one might say. No. A little bit too much. Well, no, because it's paid off because I train at Vision.

Vision or personal training. I've got a personal trainer. I love my team at Vision. Shout out. Wow. Okay. I'm just saying, I'm paying for it. I can redact that if you really want.

But I got client of the week at the gym. Yay! They threw a photo shoot for me and everything. Yeah, it's because you literally live in the gym. Wait, the photo shoot. They threw a photo shoot for you. They threw a photo shoot. I turn up to the gym and they go, Mitch, no training today.

And I was like, thank God, like a sigh of relief. And they go, we're going to do a photo shoot. but we've chosen you out of all of the people that train at this gym as client of the week. So you get on that tready boy, you run, and we're going to take some photos of you. What does client of the week entail? Like what have you had to have done to win that accolade?

Eat the most chicken breast and brown rice. And not a single carbohydrate. Not one carb, just water and chicken. So what did the shoot, like how did that go down? What did they look like? It was a full photo shoot just with an iPhone, and they go, we'll just get you in the middle of the gym and you can put your arms up and say I'm trainer of the week.

But I was like, no, I want to be on a treadmill. and I had just got there and I hadn't worked out. So I got a bottle of water and sprayed it on my hair so it looked like I'd been sweating, like I was wet. You're ridiculous. And then I go, I want to stand near the punching bag so people think I'm strong and I box. So I stood near the punching bags and I did a whole different position.

I looked great. I was really happy with the photos. I even got someone else who was doing push-ups, like a client, to hold the ring light and she held the ring light high so I looked like I was glistening from sweat from above. And the photo looks really good. I'm really happy with it. It's funny you say that because we actually spoke to the gym

and we got the photo from your photo shoot. Well, they sent us the photo. Can we just re-look at this, Laura? Have you seen the photo? No, no, no. Oh, no, don't laugh at us. We didn't get sent our photo. We got sent the entire shared album, which is about 72 photos.

Oh, did you? And can I just say, you do not have a thug-like bone in your body. It is ridiculous. I need to tell you guys, Mitch is standing there for this photo and he's got his legs apart like he's really staunch. He's got his arms crossed like he's standing in front of the boxing bag. Like he's a bodybuilder. You look about 12 years old.

You've got no facial hair. Okay. All right. You're very personal. But you have an exceptional chin. Thank you. That chin has, I mean, it has never been more chiseled. That's a defined chin.

That is one good chin. I can push up with my chin alone. You do not. You know what vibe I'm getting? What? The vibe I'm getting from you is no one at the gym knows I'm gay because I haven't told them, so I have to pretend in this photo that I'm straight. Yeah, everyone at the gym, they do think I am a straight man.

Yeah, I can tell by this photo. I'm standing with my arms crossed and I'm flexing my arms. What's the facial expression you've got going on here? What were you channeling in this moment? That I'm kind of the weak. Like he's won an Oscar. There's this smug confidence like you belong in some sort of mobster. Okay, Sopranos.

He thinks he's Rocky Balboa next to, like, the boxing. Give me a break. You do. No, we're really proud of you, Mitch, but we are not proud of this photo. This is the funniest photo. Producer Tony, can we put this on the pick-up socials? Can we put this photo up? Yes, yes.

And we'll get everyone's verdict. Am I tough or am I a complete joke? No, you are not a joke, but if I was walking down a dark alley at night and I saw you, I would not avert my course. I would come and give you a cuddle. You're like a little teddy bear. I would wipe your glistening face and say you lost. You know, on this show, we love a study.

We love a survey. We love a statistic. Well, this is an interesting stat, an interesting study for parents in the cars listening, or if you're a child in a car for some reason listening, you'll love this. Because a study out of the US has revealed that six in ten American parents have admitted to spending more time on their electronic devices, i.e. their phones, than they do one-on-one time with their kids. On average, parents spend nearly five hours a day on their electronic devices compared to less than four hours they would spend having meaningful activities with their kids.

That doesn't shock me at all, actually. Really? In this day and age that parents are spending more time on a device than they are actually with their kids? Part of me, when I hear these statistics, yes, it is shocking. And I think that no one can say that it doesn't sound shocking. but I think it's not when we say like they're spending X amount of time on their phones and X amount of time with their kids people use their phones for work these days when we say devices we are all using computers or 90% of us are using computers as part of our working life yeah we're at work for eight hours a day most people more most people are getting to work at 8am not leaving

until five six if you've got little kids and I think speak for myself my kids are waking up at 6 30 am they're at daycare by eight and then they get picked up at five and then they're in bed by seven. There's more time that I have on a Monday and Friday on my computer than I do with my kids. Yeah, that's true. Also, your kids are babies. What do they expect you to sit them down and discuss the meaning of life with your two-year-old? You still have meaningful time with your little kids, but I just think sometimes they're a blob. You don't have to hang out. And when I say meaningful time, it's not watching Cocoa Melon. But I mean, sometimes these statistics, they're so alarming and they can make parents feel so bad and it makes you feel so guilty. And if I was to

read that i'm like yeah i do spend a hell of a lot of time on screens and devices but that doesn't make me a bad parent it makes me a working parent absolutely but i think i mean this is an average survey i think what it means is and i have no doubt this is true there are a lot of people that will have a weekend and the day's off and it's definitely easier to put a device on for the kid you go do your thing and do your own device and i think that's what it's coming from it's easier to be in front of technology now there's ipads there's computer games tv a hundred different thousand streaming networks. Like everyone says, every friend I know says, I'm not going to be that parent. I'm not going to let them have an iPad. I'm not going to put them in front of the

TV. But then when they've been screaming for 24 hours straight and you know that putting them in front of the TV for a hot second is going to calm them down, you do it. Yeah. Laura, interesting question for you. Is there any part of you that thinks, that worries that your kids are going to grow up going, knowing that you're so active on social media, you are on your phone a lot for work and rightly so. But is there any part of you that does worry that they'll hold resentment or they'll be aware of how much you use how much time you spend absolutely and I think it also comes down to if I'm in the room with her then I'm not doing work on my phone and the reason why I realized it is because you can be for me I can be like I've just got to do this email or I've got

to do this one thing at the end of the day she doesn't know what I'm doing she doesn't care if I'm watching a TikTok or if I'm writing an email to someone that's important all she sees is that I'm choosing to be on my phone over being in her company and she must have been three she's four now it was probably a year ago and I was doing work and she'd just woken up after her nap and she was talking to me and she was like mummy look at my face mummy look at my face because she knew that I wasn't paying full attention to her and I think that that for me was the moment where I was like okay if I'm yes I can't get away from using my phone I have to use my phone but if she's speaking to me give the kids the same amount of respect that you would to an adult but sometimes

it can be so easy because kids are always wanting to talk to you to be like oh in a second or yeah honey i'm listening but you're actually distracted they should deserve that same level of respect that you would give to an adult but at the same time i feel like overarchingly parents are not trying to be bad parents like most parents on average want to be good parents and want to do the best thing by their kids you know if only all parents are like my boomer parents they don't know how to get on instagram no if my parents did i would never talk to them they they would be hooked if they could. I mean, our parents did it.

I mean, they had their own ways of messing things up. Yeah, true. You're going to screw your kids up some way. Different kind of trauma altogether. I have realised if I was a thief, this is the sort of person I would be. There is a man that's going viral. He's a burglar in San Diego in America. The police haven't caught him yet, but they have this footage of him

robbing a house that's gone viral. They're desperately trying to track him down. He walks into this open-lit garage in San Diego. So it's open. And he's like, oh, it's an invitation. I'm going to go flog some stuff. So he walks in and then this big dog comes running at him. So he's like, oh, my God, this is going to be disastrous.

But it's a big Labrador. You know, they're like really friendly, welcoming Labradors. So the Labrador runs over to him and there's footage of him stopping the burglary to say hello to the dog. So he's robbing his house. What a useless dog. He sits down. Oh, no, wait for it.

He sits down. What a useless robber. He sits down and starts to pat the dog. The dog's rolling over. Like the dog's bad. The burglar's bad. this whole setup is bad but the reason

it's going viral is what he's saying to the dog have a listen to the conversation they're having alright because you're so cool

come here because you're the coolest dog I've ever known I love you too you're a sweetheart how are you from home with me

he didn't steal the dog I love you too I love you too buddy guy wait wait he's in the middle of stealing someone's house

yeah objects in their house yeah no in their garage so he went in there to steal a 1300 electric bike which he did in fact steal yeah after he stopped to play with the dog anyway he's telling the dog over and over again how how cool it is and how much he loves it and he's like oh my god i love you too like they're having a convo then he goes you've got too much shit how do you have so much shit in your house why do you all have this stuff to the dog he's talking to the dog and then he He goes, dude, you might be the coolest dog ever. And then he gets on his bike and rides away.

So he does eventually steal the bike. I would be so mad. If that was my dog, I'd be like, you useless ball of fluff, you traitor. Has he been caught? No, but because of the fact that he stopped to talk to the dog, they've actually got enough footage to catch him. Oh, they've got his name on his face. So, in fact, the dog might have known exactly what it was doing.

He's like, hey, I just need to get a still. Look over here. I'm going to roll my back. Like, look at the camera. That's a smart tactic. Be cute. Get him on the camera. If someone was going to rob my house,

that is how I would want them to treat my dog. I wouldn't want them to be angry or vicious. I would want them to love it to death and then take whatever. Sorry, when I say angry and vicious, I don't mean the human. I mean the dog at the human who's breaking into the house. So when I was in my teenage years, we had a, her name was Lily, a Rhodesian Ridgeback. She was 66 kilos.

This is the biggest, like that's my weight. It was the, she was a beefcake. Sweet name. For a big dog. Well, they're lion hunters. That's what they are. And she was inside the house and somebody broke into our house. They jumped the fence and they got all the way to our glass door

and came into the house when Lily woke up and went psycho, chased them out of the house. They were running for their life. They jumped this big aluminium fence that's like six foot tall and Lily, like a bulldozer, ran straight into the fence, the whole fence. I'm talking 20 metres of the fence went down and she chased them down the street.

That's the dog you want. I almost think maybe it needs to sit somewhere between Lily and Retriever. Somewhere in the middle is the right amount.