Life Uncut - Society... SCREW YOUR TIMELINE!

Episode Date: October 21, 2020

"Your age doesn’t determine if you can be successful, and your bank account doesn’t determine if you are happy."Today we are talking timeline pressures, career changes and running your own race!But before we do that we have some hella cute Bumble success stories! Have you noticed we are all in hurry to get there, wherever that may be! In a hurry to grow up, graduate, become successful, in a hurry to get things done. We get upset when things don’t go our way, when results are not achieved instantly. It’s one big race and we are petrified of being left behind.Timelines have consciously or subconsciously been ingrained in our minds from the beginning. Whether it was uni graduation by 21, owning property before 30, getting married and having kids by 35 or retirement by 60. It seems there is always something that should have been done by a certain age or time. Maybe somewhere along the way you've wanted to change your career path but the thought of change and failure is too much, so you just don't.But then, society has this funny way of making us feel that if we don’t accomplish these deadlines, we are failing. We start existing in this vicious cycle of feeling unaccomplished, unsuccessful and a little lost. We start questioning why we aren’t where we were 'meant' to be. We start comparing our timelines to others timelines. Well, we are here to tell you that your journey is YOURS and hot damn you can run that race any way you see fit!Thanks to todays sponsor @bumble_australia , where women are empowered to take control of their dating life and make the first move.If you love hearing us twice a week guys pretty please do us a solid and hit 5 stars, leave a review and share the love, because, well, we love love xSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. But I, look, it's been a little while since I've been on the podcast and we just recorded a really hot and stellar intro. I mean, we both were like, yeah, that intro was great. And then I realized I forgot to put the USB in to the fucking recorder machine. No, I just want to set the tone a little bit more than that, Laura. We have had a bloody long day. It is like nine o'clock at night and we're just starting this record.

We've been recording all day. We've done some back-to-back interviews. It's great. It's coming. anyway we are tired af we get in there now we're like let's pick up the energy come on let's bring it let's bring it and we just do probably the best intro we've ever done like i was ever like we're not exaggerating guys no it was we will never top it it was so good and then we looked down and laura's like she's like why is the thing flashy and i was like that's because it's the big

x that says you haven't put the record card in anyway um we're gonna start again hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. It's so great to be here, to be healthy and to be in front of a microphone again and for me to not be Maddie J. That's also great. How do you feel about that? Do you just feel like A, Matt cheated on you, B, you had like hectic FOMO and you're like, I can never be sick again. Well, look, for anyone who doesn't know what we're talking about, last episode, I have been the last week and a half, I have had the most killer flu from hell and so matt had to step in and be me basically on the last episode which was very strange for multiple different reasons one of them because before brit and matt actually started

recording so i'll explain this setup to you so brit comes over to our lounge room i'm sitting on the lounge in like a little sick cocoon in the corner and the two of them set up on our dining room table to record and then they start making jokes about how it's like i'm watching them have sex like I'm watching them make a podcast together and I'm that weird person in the relationship sort of like we were cheating a little bit who wants to watch their partner have sex with their friend and I was like guys this is taking a very weird turn I don't feel well I'm not okay with this conversation let's bring it back to the podcast just a little bit it was like bridesmaids you know where she's shitting in the street she's like don't look at

me I was like Laura stop looking at me I was like you look at me you know when a dog does a poo and they lock eye contact with you that's what I felt like you were doing because you were just like eyes like a hawk at me the whole record the thing that was so hard for me was that the whole time that they were talking I just wanted to be a part of it so every time they would say something or there would be some advice I was like oh hey guys how about you add this I have saved up an accidentally unfiltered story which I'm gonna share with you because basically on the last episode Brit was talking about how her tampon box floated down the street and how it very precariously ended up right next to a very hot guy yeah it was my pickup line didn't work failed

miserably embarrassing situation you know not ideal but also very funny for everybody listening that literally sparked in me and accidentally unfiltered that happened to me so many years ago that I've suppressed into the deep dark corners of my heart and you're like please let me tell my story and we're like no this is not your turn Laura go back to your couch Laura okay so I'm gonna tell you this story so I was at a nightclub many many moons ago and there was this guy there who I had had the biggest crush on like a real schoolgirl crush literally because I'd had a crush on him since I was in school and like he was from Wollongong we grew up together it was I'm sorry you said that like that was supposed to be romantic he's from Wollongong like oh my god he's

from the gong why didn't you lock him down it was the pinnacle of my romance at the time so I really had a massive crush on this guy and um I was at you know the local nightclub called the glass house and and I was very drunk guys just to set the scene I was very very drunk and he came up to me and I was like oh my god this is it it's gonna happen holy shit this is my moment this is my moment so we're standing there and we're chatting and I was like this is going really well okay I know I'm a bit drunk but I think I'm holding it together and then I reach into my handbag whilst I'm locking eyes with him and swaying side to side and pull out my chapstick my lip gloss and I stand there holding my lip gloss about 10 centimeters from my lips whilst I try and

take the top of it so I'm standing there chatting trying to I was like why the fuck is the top not coming off I am drunk anyway keep the eye contact he then looks at me and goes um what are you trying to do with your tampon there i actually pictured you then trying to like seductively put it onto your lips like whilst locking eyes with him that would have made my day it was very very close needless to say it just never worked out with that guy this story is better and better did you hook up with him no maybe god who knows you don't remember i was very memorable but also guys i just want to say like to the episode that brit and matt did it was a great episode we've had so many people write it on the facebook group and on instagram also people felt the need to direct

message me to tell me how great they thought that episode was like ouch and how much they loved having matt on the pod so we may have him on again in the future however i do just want to point out one thing so after you left last night brit and um all of matt's wise wisdom had been shared something did happen recently like obviously I've been sick Matt has been running back and forth to the chemist every day and there's like lots of things that you can and can't take when you're pregnant right so there's been lots of um like I think one of the reasons why it's taking me so long to get over this sickness is because like I literally can't take anything from the chemist that's got anything active in it that actually works I have to just ride it out just ride it

out anyway eventually they put me on on antibiotics so I've been on antibiotics the last couple of days and Matt makes his daily little venture into the pharmacist this one day and he's like oh you know my well my fiance she's on antibiotics like you know what else should I take what should she take and the pharmacist says oh like you should take some probiotic because like as all women know if you are on antibiotics then there's probably a really great chance that you're gonna get an awesome thing called thrush and like every single time I'm on antibiotics like it always happens You just get it. I was like, cool, great, yes, probiotics, awesome.

So anyway, Matt's been taking the probiotics every day, morning and night. I was like, that's so weird for him because he's not someone who takes any sort of vitamins or anything like that. And so I sent to him last night just after you'd left, Brit, babe, what is it that made you want to take probiotics? And he was like, well, I don't want to get fucking sick, do I? Were you like, what, for your gut health or? And I was like, do you know what probiotics are for?

and he was like yeah I don't want to get the flu and I was like holy shit you just gave thousands of women your wisdom and advice and no I was like honey read the back of the bottle and on the back it's like can help alleviate symptoms of irritable bowel gut problems thrush and I was like this was for me this wasn't for you darling so what's happened is obviously the chemist has gone yes take this in terms of take this physically take this home to your wife because she's on antibiotics he's been like oh I should definitely take that so I don't get the flu or man thrush which is i don't think he's a thing i was like here are my pregnancy supplements matt would you like to take some foley also so these this is the man that gave you all that wise advice

this week love that i felt like i needed to cut him back down to size i think you've just done that just in case you all thought he was gonna start making a very regular appearance no you're stuck with me i'm back just try and get a one up on me again matt dare you no actually he messaged me today hey buddy just checking in had some great response from the podcast episode I think we give the people what they want I think we do another episode I'm thinking maybe we include a little bit more football and fishing though what are your thoughts and I was like yeah I was like I'm not even implying to you no I also like that he's messaging you this and I don't even know about it trying to muscle his way in on the podcast yeah fully he's like do you need a new

business partner anyway guys we have such a great episode for you today we're sorry that we did have to do the switcheroo on you and do ask uncut on Tuesday but we are going to be talking about timelines and the social stigma that is attached to like you know when do we get married when do we have babies why is it that we feel so much pressure to achieve certain things by a certain point in our lives and also we're going to unpack like what is it if you're a little bit further down the track in your life say in your 30s and you decide that you want to have a big career change how do you go about that like what are our thoughts and advice on it because both Britt and I have done that essentially. We just thought we'd have a conversation around why is it the

timelines still seem like there's something that's so important. But before we do that, last week on the episode, guys, we did this segment at the start where we reached out to you and we wanted to know your best, funniest, most awkward and cringeworthy and lol-worthy lola coaster, some may say. Some might not say that. Some would prefer that you never say that again. I haven't dropped that in a while. It's been the biggest Lola Derby of a dating story that you have. But we did speak about all these funny, awkward first date Bumble stories last week and there were some funny ones and Laura and I had a field day reading them all. But this week we're doing something a little bit different. We are so stoked to be bringing you today's episode

in collaboration with our really good friends over at Bumble. And today we're going to be bringing you some really feel good and happy online dating success stories. Because whilst it is so amazing to laugh at everyone else's misfortune and everyone has these awkward first dates it's really important to know that there is actually a lot of success that comes from online dating I've had success from it you've I mean obviously I'm not married I've had success in other ways maybe I just need to like how about we define what success is well yes but a lot of people have success and the thing we want to really sort of stipulate in this conversation is what what success means to different people because success in love success in dating is different

for many many people so we asked you guys what are your bumble success stories and we're going to read a few out we did put a call out as well up on the Facebook page and I was just absolutely amazed we had 186 and like it's growing every day of people from the community writing about their different online dating success stories and it was just amazing because I mean often we tell on this podcast all of the accidentally unfiltered stories we tell all the most embarrassing stuff And often that doesn't always end the best way for the person in the story. And it ends in a great way for us. But it's really amazing to kind of sit back and sometimes go like, wow, like obviously

for so many people, it is a platform that works. And I think that sometimes online dating gets such a bad rap because we're so quick to share all of our disaster dating stories and not really share all of the beautiful, wonderful success stories that come out of it as well. We've picked out a couple that we thought would be really nice to share with you. I just alone on my Instagram call out had hundreds of people writing in and it was I had a genuinely had a smile on my face reading the whole thing and I also I think now with 2020 and the way the world is there has never been more of a time to be online dating because we don't go out like we

used to the pubs and clubs aren't open like we used to so whilst Bumble and online dating has always been around it is now so more than ever because we had so many stories of people writing an insane um we got to know each other for four months before we met because of covid which i think is so beautiful because there's no nothing physical where you're getting to know each other it's not just like meet and have sex it's it's actually getting to know someone on a deeper level and having these conversations and anyway i i could go on about this forever but let's get into the stories i have a question for you before i read out this first one if you went on a bumble date and the guy rocked up and he was significantly shorter than what he said he was what would you do

like significantly like a foot okay so one of my like unofficial rules it's not a rule but it's what i look for i want someone to be minimum i sounded like austin powers one million dollars um minimum my height or taller i don't want to date someone smaller because i am quite tall and i wear heels but if they're my penguin it's probably not going to be the end of the world if i turned up and my date was shorter than me did he lie about it what if he lied about it i wouldn't leave i'd go on the date with him but i would be unimpressed that he lied for sure because honesty is key so what happened someone this has obviously happened to some poor girl so okay we met four years ago online dating and he proposed on our second

anniversary i'm quite tall so before we met i asked him how tall he was he replied with the exact same height as me to which I thought great this literally never happens waiting out the front of the restaurant I see a guy walking towards me that is a good foot shorter than me his first words to me were I'm sorry I'm not a giraffe but I really wanted to meet you we joke about it all the time and before we say our vows at our wedding we're going to get a groomsman to run over with a step for him oh no it really means nothing but it's a fun joke for the two of us and then she wrote it turns out he was in year 10 when I was in year seven at the same school and he was my color house captain which meant he gave all of our grade carnival pep talks I don't know that's

like some weird synchronicity there at the end I think I said that right basically he was a couple years older than her in school as well but he was still short in school I'm gonna guess that I had this um I had this one that I'm just gonna summarize she's like I don't know if this counts is Bumble success or not she's like I guess it does we matched on Bumble he was everything that she wanted he was an absolute babe and she was obsessed but then she'd been on a really bad date she had a really bad day and she cracked the shits and she deleted Bumble she was like I'm done I'm done with online dating don't do it anymore but then she remembered how hot the guy was that she'd matched so she went back on to Bumble but thinking her matches would be there but they weren't they

were all gone because it like started again but she remembered where he worked because he had a picture of him working just like he's a barista so she went to his cafe and met him organically and tried to like meet him on there and then they started dating and then down the track she's like lol i actually met you on bumble like so it went right back so she sort of stalked him so does that classify as bumble success i'm gonna say that that's a success story except for the fact that like that is like an a grade stalker story as well which is so great because i feel like if you said that out loud and actually told a guy that you'd done that you would be put straight into the crazy basket okay i've actually done this let me tell you hence why you live in the

crazy basket brittany okay you guys have probably often heard of me talk throughout the podcast throughout the last year i've always spoken about this one guy where i always say he's like my best friend i met him on bumble probably six years ago we spent like max five days together and that was it he moved back to america that was it we've been like best friends ever since which sounds really weird because we don't see each other it just started to develop we like had this soul connection and just started to develop online and so we just stayed in contact if you guys are thinking that this sounds strange don't worry like every time brit tries to explain it to matt and i we are also like so wait you banged you got on super well you still think he's the hottest guy

ever but yet then you friend zoned each other don't understand it but cool so no we didn't friends on each other I if he was here in my in within myself if he was here we would have been dating but he lived in America and he went back to America but we were just still so obsessed with each other and we wanted to keep getting to know each other and then it's been literally five six seven years maybe and we have seen each other a total of he came back and we saw each other for two more days that's it he's got a girlfriend he's got a relation he's in a relationship he's really happy he's the only person I told I was going on the bachelor like we trust each other it's the weirdest relationship ever but it's just a friendship anyway I saw him on Bumble

and I was like who the hell is this guy he was like he had the story that got me he was like walking down a football field and he was like looking back and he had a dog he had no shirt on and he had this really cute dog and I was like sign sealed delivered I'm yours we didn't match I like to think I just wasn't in his radius but Same thing as Channing Tatum all over again. We didn't match, but he had linked these, he had linked, not linked, but he had pictures that you can see where a tag is. And I could find, I went stalking, all right?

I stalked him, found some photos on an Instagram or on his Facebook. It wasn't even Instagram. It was Facebook. You're getting crazier by the second. I love this. So I found him on Facebook and I DM'd him. and I said I said hey this is something I remember what I said I said hey this is not something I ever thought I'd say but I saw you on Bumble we didn't match so I found you

oh my wow then he wrote back straight away and he's because you know what I'm like I'm so YOLO I'm like what have I got to lose my dignity besides respect and dignity um he wrote back straight away and he's like I definitely did not see you on bumble or I would have swiped right and we got chatting and then literally we hooked up for a week straight and it was incredible and then six seven years later we're still like the best of friends so I think that is in its own we're not married no we're not together no but it's a success story because I developed a great friendship from it and to me this is still defined as a type of bumble success story but also I think that like one this reinforces that semi-stalker behavior is fine can I like can be a little bit

cute if you're a bit crazy like that's kind of cute too don't worry depends what level you're at like mine was pretty low-key yours is yours is next level mine's low-key level like what if you like show up at his work and then start showing up in his house no that's a stalker but this girl all she did was knew she knew where he worked so she just went and made it happen naturally I think that was cute I have a very similar story so one of my girlfriends actually so she was online dating and she had matched with this guy who she really liked and she thought he was a total hottie and then i don't know how she did it but she accidentally unmatched him like whether she had her phone unlocked and then she fumbled around and she unmatched him but he didn't have his

instagram linked and they had only been chatting for that day so they hadn't really gotten to the point where they had exchanged anything more than just the pleasantries of like you know initial like oh you you look like a bit of all right anyway so then she uninstalls bumble and spends the next three days swiping the whole entire fucking area the whole of sydney the whole of sydney until she rematched with him and then dated him for six months and i was like that is some dedication to the cause but see that's not i respect that that's not no i respect hard work and dedication and that's what she did like maybe she had to go on for a premium subscription i mean i talk about my sister sherry all the time she's five and a half years deep into her relationship

with her Scottish guy that we met when traveling and that was online they're gonna get married they're gonna live happily ever after he lives here in Australia and um that was literally just from online dating and so I've seen firsthand a that there are good people on there and b that people do get their happy endings well one of the things I think as well which I find really interesting is like we put so much pressure on relationships being successes only if they work out right like we're like well that was a failure because we're not together anymore or like fuck another one bites the dust kind of thing. And there's this mentality towards dating. If they're not the one, then it's a failure. One thing that I've learned, especially from doing this podcast

and something that I really, really believe in now, it's like what real friendships are things. I look back on all of my dating experiences, like every single guy that I dated from online, every single guy that I met in the wild and dated. I look back on those experiences and think that those relationships essentially were successful because I learned something from them I learned what I don't want in a partner I learned what I deserve I learned like a greater level of respect for myself so and I know that that's a very like idealistic way of looking at dating and relationships and definitely when you're in the throes of going like another one that didn't work out it's sometimes hard to go oh well this is gonna be a nice life lesson in the bag but it's

like I've had enough those like I'm bloody I'm as wise as there is I think I look back on those times in my life now and I can see that every single one of those relationships had purpose and I learned something from them and I learned like a greater level of respect for myself as well yeah absolutely um we had this other girl writing and I thought this was really really sweet she said does it have to be romantic success because I have a different success I moved to a new city completely on my own early this year I literally didn't know a soul but I have found five new incredible best friends from bumble we actually had someone ask on the Facebook group about things like Bumble BFF and like I think you know it's amazing that there are these

opportunities that you can expand your networks and make new friends and like even with like the Life Uncut community and the fact that people are doing meetups now and the people the fact that people are actually forming genuine friendships from an online platform is something that's really special it's amazing and that's the whole purpose of like Bumble BFF as well if you have gone to a new place it's the same thing I don't see why it's different to any other platform or going and starting a new hobby you're literally you're going to meet people that are in the same position as you comes up so often and ask uncut questions how do you make friends as an adult it's so hard but i'm not kidding guys i reckon i had two to three hundred people

writing in saying they're married they've got kids they're engaged or from bumble so congrats to you we're always talking about the most embarrassing stories and we've been doing some work with bumble and they're one of our sponsors and one of our partners and it really is amazing to be able to reach out to you guys and to hear some of the beautiful success stories that come out of online dating as well. Yeah, you made me want to keep doing it. You were never going to stop.

No, I do. I periodically delete it, then I come back. All right, guys, before we get into the meaty topic of today, I just want to bring one accidentally unfiltered. And I don't know about you, Laura, but I actually feel like we haven't done this in ages. We haven't done this in ages. But also it's only been a week.

Yeah, but a week of us not seeing each other and recording feels like forever because we spend our entire life in front of this microphone or emailing or messaging or voice messaging or dming or but I really like that like our work can consist of like telling other people's embarrassing stories like that's actually work for us and it's great I wouldn't want to change a thing okay so this one has um it's sort of to do with you actually oh dear the other day when listening to Laura's story about how she wakes up having orgasms I was dying of laughter because I thought I was the only one who did this and that I was a total freak and I've never spoken about it to anyone. Nah, girlfriend, the safety in numbers. Don't

you worry. As soon as I heard it, I was so excited that I went straight over to your Instagram and replied to your story, Instagram DM and your poll saying exactly this, that I am a sleep orgasmer, that i orgasm all the time then yesterday in a marketing meeting my boss brought up to the whole table about how he wants us to know that he reads our dms he gave me a look and i didn't think twice about the look until i just looked at our messages from over the weekend and i saw that in fact i replied to your dms and your poll from my work account and now i know what the look was about because my boss knows that I wake up frequently having big, sexy, juicy orgasms.

Oh, mate, he's just jealous. Don't worry. She was so excited. She just went to town telling us her stories and it was in her boss's account. I'm like dead. And then she's like, deceased, love you, bye. Oh, wow.

I just want to say, as much as that's an unfortunate thing that happened, God, you're lucky that you can have an orgasm in your sleep because apparently only 20% of people orgasm in their sleep. And I think we're the lucky ones. We had so many people write in saying actually that they are sleep orgasmers. It's the best. I was shocked.

No, but I was shocked because I didn't, I genuinely didn't know. Even my sister, Sherry, sorry, Sherry. She was like, don't you do that? And I was like, we've got the same genetics. I was like, how are you doing this? It's like the most minimal effort for such high reward. I highly recommend. I mean, actually I did have one person write to me that was like, after you guys talked

about it on the podcast, I had my very first one. So maybe it was like front of mind for her. so guys you know what they say manifest if you want to have a sleep orgasm tonight you know what you've got to do well she literally put it out of your mind and really think about that focus on your goals focus on your orgasm so guys today's episode is on this idea of the pressure society puts on us for timelines uh how we're supposed to get things done when we're supposed to get have done and I feel like as a society we're always in a rush to get somewhere to accomplish something to do something whether that's finishing school graduating university buying a house

having children by the age of 30 but you can't have your children by the age of 30 until you're married because that's the order it's like married at 26 kids at 30 or a first kid at 30 make sure you have your house deposit sorted as well the the pressure the society puts on us to we live a certain way it's just what you do you go to school and you finish it and then you go to uni and then you graduate then you get your job and we today wanted to sort of discuss that and break that down and and give you guys another perspective on it that your timeline is completely individual your timeline is dependent on who you are your goals where you want to be and it has nothing to do with any other outside pressure so we want to talk about that then we want to talk about the idea of

maybe your timeline isn't what society wants and maybe you hit 30 maybe you hit 35 maybe you hit 40 and all of a sudden you think I'm not happy where I am I want to try something new I want to go and chase my dream finally I don't want to spend 40 years in this job that I detest so we're going to talk about the idea of reinventing yourself and starting something new one of the reasons why we wanted to do this is because like both Britt and I we feel really really passionate about the fact that like life doesn't have to follow a timeline and you know I myself I guess I never even really knew if I wanted to have children before I met Matt and that was always something that kind of came up in conversation and and it was always a question of mine I was like

you know do I not want to have kids because I haven't met the right person or is it because I genuinely in me don't feel very maternal and anyone who actually watched Matt and mine's season of The Bachelor which this is going back a bit now but um we had a date that was at a daycare and we had to run around after other people's children and I was standing there going I don't really care like I don't want to this is not hitting the spot this is not my idea of a date and for me like you know I'm very very close to like my friends children's and like my sister's baby and like you know my nieces and nephews and all that sort of stuff but I don't really get excited about other people's kids you know that's not a natural thing for me and I mean I hope that

there's other people out there who relate to that I know that some women just naturally feel super maternal but I have never felt that and so I kind of always attributed that to maybe I didn't want to have kids I wasn't sure but obviously for Matt that was something that was so important to him and then when I got into the right relationship with him it was exactly what I wanted like there has never ever been a second since I've had Marley where I've thought you know or like did I not want to have kids like do I don't I any of that all of that doubt sort of slipped away but for a really long time like I was really conscious of like this idea of a timeline this idea of like do I need to get married? When do I need to settle down? And I think, you know, Matt and I have done it in such

a roundabout way and such a mixed up way in a way that for a while I didn't feel comfortable talking about because I thought that people would have their own opinions or that had their own judgment on how we were living our life. Well, let's wind it back a little bit because I just find it so interesting. Let's go back to when we were, I don't know, let's say 18, like when you were 17, 18, when you're thinking of you're wrapping up school and all of a sudden you're like, okay, I've got to go and plan my life a little bit. When you projected, when you looked to your life ahead and maybe just say 30 years, what, what did the timeline look for you? And what did you think you were going to be doing and achieving? And what did you want? Because I know

that for my timeline, what I wanted and what I thought was going to happen is very bloody different. It is very out of whack guys. My timeline is still very out of whack. Um, I personally, so I finished school at 17. I met the man who I thought I was going to marry at 18. I was convinced, absolutely convinced that he was the one for me. So in my timeline, in my head, I was like, well, we'll be married by the time I'm 26. We will have babies by the time I'm 31. And I was like, we'll live in Sydney. I didn't really have a big grand plan for where I was going to be or what I was going

to be doing. But in regards to like work and career, I kind of always thought I was going to be an artist. I thought I was going to be a painter and I was going to do that on the side of having like a graphic design job. that was my normal thing I haven't seen you paint I didn't actually know that you were like really into art you've seen some of the paintings they're in my house the cockatoo no oh that one's very good I didn't do that one see I probably have seen them and just thought

it was art didn't know it was your art okay so you didn't get married at 26 you didn't have your kid at 31 and you're not painting I kind of want to jump forward to like my pregnancy journey and stuff with Marley because for me that was like the most significant timeline that was completely out of whack I was single at 30 I was single at 31 I met Matt at 31 and the relationship just clicked obviously like you know I knew that he was the one for me and then I haven't spoken about this super publicly I've mentioned it briefly on the podcast before but I've always been so worried about the stigma that's attached or people's perceptions and I was worried that people would judge mine and Matt's relationship so what I'm about to tell you basically you're making I feel

like it's so much worse than it is no but but like at the time I was embarrassed because I was like people are going to see this as though you know our child wasn't planned and that and that for me there was this stigma around something being not planned and therefore an association with it being unwanted and I was like Marley was never unwanted she was always so wanted but she wasn't planned so there's a difference there is a massive difference and it worried me at the time that people wouldn't see that so I guess that that was something that I really wanted to kind of shy away from especially when I was so excited about the fact that we're having a baby Matt and I weren't living together when I found out I was pregnant the first time so

I was still living in Rushcutters Bay Matt was living in Bondi with his two housemates and I found out I was pregnant and then as you guys know I had a miscarriage 10 weeks later but we weren't living together so for me that was like well okay that was not the plan anyway we kind of relaxed our ideas around you know when we wanted to have kids and timelines and stuff and we just I didn't go back on the pill and we were like well we'll see what happens so then I got pregnant again very shortly afterwards we still weren't living together like we lived in separate houses and then that's when we moved in together so we moved in together I moved into his house with his two housemates and I did my entire pregnancy living with his two housemates. And I didn't

want to talk about that publicly because I was so worried about like Daily Mail writing an article and people perceiving that as perceiving it as like a bit bogan. That was my worry. I was like, I don't want people to think that I'm like, you know, I don't have my shit together or I haven't sorted my life out. And that here we are like having this kid that, you know, it was unplanned. And then therefore people might think it was unwanted, which was obviously my fear. Now I look back on that time and I'm like why do I fucking care so much what people think because I loved that pregnancy and living with Matt's housemates I had so much fun I had so much support around me as well like living with people who I loved and I got along with and they were such

good friends I moved out so Matt and I moved out together we got our own place about three months before Marley was born or two months before Marley was born however Matt wasn't in the country so I physically moved our entire apartment myself when I was eight months pregnant oh I remember saying I'm gonna come and help you you were like I remember you being like it's not gonna be that bad I was like oh my god this chick has got no fucking idea like we got a removalist guys don't worry I wasn't physically moving but I was eight months pregnant I set up our apartment Matt came home and that was that was literally our first time living together and so you know we Marley's now one and a half we have a one and a half year old baby and we've lived together for one years

and seven months like if you've never lived together not pregnant and we've never lived together not being parents we've always been on our pregnancy journey from the time that we've lived together which you know if I look back when I was 20 and how I thought my life was going to plan out hells no I was going to live with a guy for four years then we were going to travel then we're going to have a baby that just didn't turn out the way that I expected it would but I wouldn't change a single thing I've loved every moment of this past year so much so I wanted to do it again and so then you got engaged after you found out you're pregnant too didn't you yeah I got engaged when I was eight months pregnant and once again there was this fear that people were going to

think that we were only getting engaged because I was pregnant because you had your accidental baby yes I think I've done a lot of work on myself to get to a point now where I don't really care about people's opinions of me and like I really feel like you know I know who I am as a person and that's something that we preach a lot on this podcast is like you have to be really comfortable and confident in yourself but there is still that little bit of I don't want someone to think those negative thoughts of me and so like when we got engaged there was this little tiny voice in my head that was well are people going to think that we're only engaged now because I'm pregnant and like it's not because we love each other and that was my fear but as humans we as humans

you can you can preach it all you want to say you know you really have to not worry about what people think and I'm big advocate for that I think that you shouldn't worry about what people think But as humans, it's normal to want to be liked and to want to be respected. And you don't want people to judge you and say bad things about you. So I think that that's such a normal thought to have that you're like, if I announce this,

oh, all the trolls are going to come out. And you know, like, I can't, I don't think you should judge yourself too hardly on that. A hundred percent. And I think also like when I look back on it, it's this reality and like this pressure. Like I didn't care personally. I am and have never been in such a healthy

and happy place in my life. like I love where my life is at now but socially the stigma that was attached to what my life looked like when like you know the fancy bells and whistles of Instagram was kind of you know not there and it was actually the real logistics of my life at that point in time I was so worried about what people would think not because I cared about where my life was at I was super happy but because there's this expectation that we follow a certain timeline and I'm here to say the timeline doesn't fucking matter it doesn't exist the timeline exists in your own head I cannot tell you how different my life is from the timeline that I had planned out I finished school and I

went traveling for the year I moved to Italy because that was always on my agenda I was always going to have this year off before I really knuckled down and got into life so I did that came back and I studied I always want to be in health care so I studied radiation science I always knew I wanted to be in a hospital environment helping people and I thought that that would be me forever I was also in a relationship with someone for eight years and I remember saying to him I remember saying just so you know I'm gonna be a young mum I know it's funny now he was a few years older than me um and we were so obsessed with each other and he's he's like oh yeah what's young and I was like well I just want I just want you to be

prepared that like this is what I want from our relationship and this is what I want from me because we were always going to spend our life together you know and he said well what's young and I said I want to go to uni finish and probably just get like two years work behind me some savings and then I want to start having kids at like I think I think I said 24 I'm pretty sure I said 24 and he was a few years older than me so he was like there's no way you're going to want kids at 24 and I'm like 100% that's what I want to do I want to grow up I want my kids to be my friend I want to be young and have energy and then I want I want to be finished having kids by 30. I thought I'd be done with my kids at 30 and I also told him I wanted four kids so that was

gonna be busy six years I also had this dream and was determined to I don't know and this is the thing I don't know why we put these pressures on ourself I think it's society I said to myself that by the time I was 30 I was gonna own three houses that was my goal why who bloody knows but all my friends were out partying drinking traveling I was at home literally reading like finance books and investment books and it was so strange bought my house my first house started to go down the timeline track then went and get got another mortgage for a second house because I was determined I was like I'm gonna have three houses at 30 about 24 went to get my second loan to buy my second house now can you imagine on your own having three mortgages what was I thinking then

thank god I had this mid-life crisis and just as I was going to buy his second is still not out of it it's the longest midlife crisis you guys have ever seen it's about eight years strong now it's a half-life crisis it's just gonna continue on so it was a quarter-life crisis to be fair because I was young had this crisis I was going to buy the second house and I just flipped instead of buying it I didn't go through with it I flipped on everything I've ever done sold the first house my dreams of three houses were gone and that's when I just took off overseas for three years I was like my relationship ended everything was crumbling I realized that I wasn't going to have the kids. I realized I wasn't going to have the properties I wanted. So I just went for threes

and like blew off some steam, a lot of steam, blew off some steam, came back. And basically when I came back, it took me up to the level of the bachelor. So here I am thinking I was going to be in medicine, owning all these houses, in love, engaged, married with kids. I was single, no money, 30 on a reality dating show and going down. What I didn't know at the time was a whole another career path now this is really scary like when you get to an age of 30 and you realize that your life isn't anywhere where you thought it would be and I was getting a lot of pressure from people in my family and friends and society and like why are you single why are you still traveling you're never going to meet anyone traveling how are you going to get ahead in

your life if you're spending your money on things that you can't keep whereas in my mind I was like well I have more memories I'm so life rich that the money didn't matter to me and I just think when I was 30 and looking back and I and I had this idea in my mind of I was okay that I didn't have any money and I was okay that I didn't have the kids and the engagement because I just took a different perspective on life and I'm lucky that I spent my time with this Buddhist monk and he put me on this this road to feeling okay with it because otherwise I can guarantee you I would have had a nervous breakdown thinking that I was 30 failure that I hadn't ticked any goals that I was alone and that really redefined my path where I realized it didn't matter anymore that I'm not

doing what society wanted and I actually was happy with where I was and what I had done and what I had ticked off and I didn't feel like a failure whereas I would have if I didn't have these experiences there's a high chance that I would have let society's pressures get to me and everyone's questions get to me on why are you single why are you having no money why are you still traveling why haven't you settled why don't you have your house yet and I probably would have had a nervous breakdown but I think this is so relatable and I know that there's going to be loads of people who are listening to this who are like yep thought I would be married by now and I still don't know what I'm gonna have for fucking lunch but like I mean I read something when we were doing a bit of

research for this and something I really enjoyed was this um quote which was life doesn't follow a set of timelines so stop expecting it to and I do think that we have this expectation especially when we're younger um where we're projecting what we want for our future and like of course it's important to have goals of course it's important to think about what you want for yourself have an idea of what a five-year plan is but you know life doesn't necessarily stick to a plan and shit goes wrong and shit changes direction and when you're in your early 20s you don't necessarily know what you want for your 30s because you haven't lived that life yet you don't have that life experience and this isn't to say please don't think that this is to say that every single person

who has kids or gets married or whatever in their early 20s is making the wrong decision you're not absolutely not you're making the absolute best decision for yourself everybody lives a different life but this is to more so empower people who are older who are at a point in their life where they're like you know what I'm still not 100% sure what I'm doing with myself but that doesn't mean that you're wasting time and it doesn't mean that you're wasting your life I think that that's something that's really important to take home from this as well also when I was doing my research Brittany love that for you so guys you might not know this but I know that there's there's a lot of conversation around divorce and like how often it happens and I think that sometimes we almost

focus on how marriage is futile because divorce is almost inevitable but divorce in Australia is actually on the decline and there are fewer now than any time in the last 20 years so in 2020 we had our lowest rates of divorce and as both the divorce rate and the divorce numbers have been declining 10 years ago the divorce rate was 2.7 per 1000 people one year ago it was 2.2 and today it's only 2.1 per 1000 people and they attribute that to the fact that people are getting married later in life people are waiting longer to make those decisions and that by making those decisions later in life there comes this like really well educated and really well thought out like you've lived the fucking shit you've had the bad relationships you know what you want you know

what you deserve and you're not settling for something because there's this idea of a timeline that's pressured around you and you know you think back to our grandparents generate you married whoever it was that you dated when you were 16 my grandparents met when they were 16 they got married when they were 22 they've been married for forever you know that's just how life went obviously there's pros and cons to the whole sticking through thick and thin but we have the the liberty of choice now in modern society and this idea of choice also means that we're making better choices because we can wait a little bit longer to do that well the other thing that's happening too is as uh i mean this is going to be a general statement but as women we are given

more opportunity now we never used to have the chance to work for ourselves and start our own businesses we never had the chance to strive for promotions at work um compete in in a male dominated industry but now we do which means our priorities are changing a lot of people are starting to focus more on their career and getting ahead in life and financial security than focusing on finding a partner and having children and getting married because we never used to have the opportunity so that was back then that was the timeline and that's great because that that was what was presented and people were making the best of their options now women we can go and do whatever the hell we want there is nothing that you cannot do and I think that's what's happening

women are taking the bull by the horns and taking control of their life and chasing their dreams and I think that is amazing like Laura said too we do want to reiterate that if you did meet your partner at 16 and get married and have kids young that is fantastic because that is your timeline all this conversation is about is trying to make you feel better if you're not where society has said you should be the fact that the timeline doesn't matter so if you did it in your 20s if you did it in your 30s if you did it in your 40s all of it is irrelevant so long as it feels right for you. And, you know, don't make decisions in your life based on what you think other people expect of you. Or if your parents are like, when are you going to get married? When are you going

to have babies? I mean, I can't tell you how often my family made jokes about the fact that I'm still not married and say like, well, well, are you ever going to get married? Like, you know, or you can have another kid and not be married. But for me, it's just not something that we think of as being super important. Like we are going to get married next year, but I mean, there's a part of me that's like i really want to put that money on a house i just think it's really important to know that this conversation is about creating a life that is fulfilling for you as an individual so this is very much in relation to you as a person something else we want to highlight is because we are spending more time on our jobs and because of the advances in science and we are going to be talking

about this in the next few weeks we have the option of having children later in life now so we don't feel the pressure as much of having to bang out some kids by 30 because then our eggs shrivel up we don't have that anymore we've got science is incredible and we have a whole amazing episode guys coming on IVF and egg freezing and all the options that are available to you I think this is something else that we're starting to realize now and it's so empowering for women to realize that oh my god I don't have to put the rest of my life on hold because I have to have a child now and then it's not like they have to circle back to their dreams in 10 years time As much as there is no timeline for so many things in life, obviously having kids is something that

we can't avoid. Like as much as we can talk about and say like, you know, live your life, do whatever you want to, there is a finite timeframe on like your fertility. That is something that is really important. And we, like Britt said, we actually just today recorded a really awesome episode with a specialist on fertility, which we'll bring out in a couple of weeks for you guys, because we think that like this concept and conversation around timelines won't be complete without having a conversation around fertility. And it's not to scare you. It's not to say like, oh, those biological clock is ticking again. It's to empower your decision making and give you all of the tools to be able to say, oh, you know what? Okay. Well, I'm going

to be cool for another 10 years of my life. But something I just wanted to touch on that you also kind of spoke about a little bit, as much as we have so much choice as women now, I also think that sometimes that choice can be very overwhelming in a sense. And there's this concept of like, And this question, and I know that I had it just after I had Marley. And I think that maybe it's like one of those existential life crisis question you kind of ask yourself after you have a child. Well, now that I'm a mom, like, can I still have a career? Can we do the podcast?

Can I have a business? Can I, how am I going to run all these facets of my life? And I do think we're sold this, this dream and this idealistic idea that you can have everything as a woman, right? You can have it all. but I strongly feel now after juggling the last year of my life that you can have it all but you can't have it all at the same time like there has to be something that gives and like for me you know work has been something that I've really struggled with over the last year because I've

prioritized being a mum even though I am a business owner even though we have the podcast and sometimes I feel like my relationship is the thing that takes the back burner from time to time because Matt used to be my absolute number one priority we spent every day together we spent every single second of free time together and now there's Matt there's work there's Marley there's physically being pregnant and I think that you know we put a lot of pressure on ourselves as women to be successful in inverted commas and to try and do every single thing at one time and I just think that you know you don't end up having it all you end up doing it all and that's not a place where you necessarily want to be in either because you're just going to get fucking burnt out

yeah and this this will lead us on to the next part of the conversation guys that is on about changing careers and trying to go down a different road and Laura and I obviously we have both had different careers in our lifetime I've gone from god what have I done so I was in I still am I still work in the hospital in um diagnostic radiography deciding I wanted to write when I was about 26 or 27 um so I started writing and I wasn't trained in writing I didn't go and study writing but I enjoyed it so I reached out to some publications sent them some they were like send us some stuff just wrote some stuff and sent it to them and then all of a sudden I was writing I was contributing to like a travel and online wellness and health magazine and I was like wow I've just

done this because it's a passion um I at the start I wasn't getting paid anything and it was just something that I enjoyed doing so all of a sudden I took on another workload but I wasn't being paid for it then I decided ah I love health I want to do something else with it I love fitness so I went back and studied personal training so I did that for two years studying and I still did that whilst I was doing the writing and whilst I was doing the diagnostic radiography so all of a sudden I'm doing three different things all little like part-time bits but they're all things I'm interested in. So I found it easy because I wasn't doing it for monetary gain. I was doing it for no other reason than it was an interest. Fast forward a little bit further and started a podcast.

This is a whole nother, whole nother ball game for me, guys. This is, I do a lot of the business side of this and I have never done business in my life. Oh, I know. Sometimes I'm like, Brie, you have to do an Excel spreadsheet for this. And she's like, how do I open Google Docs? Yeah. And here I, I'm not kidding here. I am having like a board meetings with people on zoom. I'm writing contracts. I'm doing the accounts. It's like, it's insane, but I'm doing it because I was so passionate about this part of it and bringing you guys a podcast. So again, and we did not get paid for this for the first year at all. Like we put in the hours and it was hard work, but we didn't get a cent from it. Then I decided in my thirties, I want to be an actor.

so off I went I went to drama school in my in my 20s and I did I studied acting for a few years and I really loved it I never did anything with it so then whilst I'm doing everything else I was like fuck it I'm gonna go and start auditioning for things and doing short films and so I am definitely someone that can say with with every part of my heart that I just feel like there's nothing that you can't do if you if you really are passionate about it I I'm someone that says go and chase it go and try it but I'll be the first person to tell you it is not easy it comes with sacrifices you're not going to go out there and be the best and the top straight away you're not going to earn money for a long time there's a lot of things that you have to think about when you're taking

these steps and this is why we want to talk about changing careers I mean it's very normal to start a career come out of uni go into the workplace and then after a few years be completely disenchanted with it and be like okay this isn't what I thought it was going to be or maybe it's longer than that maybe it's seven years you've had children and now you're like well that occupation doesn't really fit with my lifestyle it doesn't fit with what I want for myself and it's not giving me the flexibility or the life that I want so then there's this decision and this idea of like well do you completely change careers do you pivot your life do you create something new for yourself and that is such an overwhelming and scary thought I think for a lot of people because there's this concept

of like well where do I start and what do I do and you know do I start my own business I mean I do think that sometimes the online community can make becoming an entrepreneur seem so easy like you know anyone can start a Shopify account anyone can put together a Facebook page and they can you know put products on there and sell something so I do think that there is this romanticized idea of what an entrepreneur is however it's not for everyone but for the people who want to do it and are super passionate about all facets of business, it's an incredibly rewarding occupation to take on. Statistically, people will change their careers seven times in their life. So if you're contemplating it and you're thinking about it, don't worry, you're going to do it six more

times. This is just the first time. But we are not supposed to be creatures of mundane, boring tasks where we do the same thing for the rest of our lives. If you are unhappy and unfulfilled in your workplace then it is time to start thinking about like what can you do outside of that and how can you make changes in your life to be able to to allow for a change in career and you know for some people it's going to be a lot easier for than others I mean I know for myself when I changed my career I mean I so I'll give you a bit of my backstory came out of uni I was a graphic designer I worked in an extremely corporate design firm I did packaging design for hearing aids and dental appliances I also did audiologist clinic fit out so I like designed picked all the color

patterns for the bloody clinics I picked like the the types of chairs and stuff that were going to be in the clinic I can never imagine you doing like the most boring design if you can think of like doing something fun in graphic design then strip all the fun out of it that's the job that I did I made like letterheads anyway so I mean I did that and I did that for five six years when I came out of uni and I always had Tony May as like this little side hustle and side passion of mine, but I never really believed that it could be a job. I didn't think it could be a full-time business. And we actually did a full episode on like our careers and how we kind of ended up where we are. So I won't totally go into like how I started Tony May or anything, but

for me, starting a business was a complete career pivot. Like it never, I never expected it to end up becoming my full-time business. I never really believed that it could become my full-time business either but for one my biggest like my absolute biggest piece of advice for anybody who is wanting to pivot their career is wanting to start something new and this is what I have said to every single person I've ever mentored is that you don't just quit your job that is like the worst thing you can possibly do if you're wanting to start a business or start a side hustle you do it alongside the job that you already have because that gives you one it gives you money in the bank it gives you stability it gives you structure and you you start to mold your other business

in your free time every second of free time you have that's what you you do and that's how you manage to start to build that secondary business and it is only when you get that secondary business to a point where it has some financial stability that you can take that transition without it being quite a scary and overwhelming process because if you're just quitting your job and putting all your eggs into this new business basket and then it doesn't work in the first six months or one year you have no other option you've got nowhere to go so that is like my big take home to anybody who is wanting to like instantly pivot careers you've got to do this as a bit more of a slow transition couldn't agree more and every every single job site that I went on and career site that I went

on in this that was that was the number one piece of advice was like don't just like get all excited one day quit your job and go into something else so it's something to remember and I remember starting the podcast I would work all day at the hospital all night and then sometimes Laura and I would be meeting at the studio at like I'm not even exaggerating midnight sometimes 5am we were doing these records. Well when we started the podcast I had literally just given birth so I would come in between breastfeeding we would have a two-hour record slot because I was like if I don't get home in two hours my tits are going to explode or Marley's going to be screaming. We had no option but to fit in with Marley May because she's a newborn baby that like literally her life

depends on feeding so sometimes we would record and I would go to work for my shift an hour later and it was insane and I had people saying to me why are you doing this like you cannot you cannot do this like you're crazy why don't you drop back some days or why don't you quit one of the jobs and I was like because I don't have a choice like this is literally what I have to do we don't get paid for it but I'm passionate about it I want to make the transition into it but I'm I'm hyper aware that you have to dedicate a lot of time and energy and unfortunately you sacrifice a lot of things to get there and now we're at a point where I've completely transitioned I'm probably 50 50 now I've cut down at the hospital so I do a few days there and then I focus a few days on this

but it took me like I don't want you guys to think I want you to know how hard it is to to start your own business and putting the effort we did a year with with just like the craziest hours and so much stress between Laura and I and I want you to be aware that that is reality we don't want to sugar coat anything yeah and a year of like I mean it's just specifically talking about this podcast like we did a year of recordings and a year of creating free content that we did not make a single dollar off and that for us was really really important because like we one we wanted to know that we could do it consistently but we also wanted to know that we loved doing it and that we were passionate about it and then people wanted to listen to us and then you guys were going to

keep coming back. But like something that I want to touch on though, like, you know, it's easy for us to say like that anyone can transition a career and that you can change your life and change your career at any time in your life. Like I do genuinely believe that. I think that, you know, it doesn't matter if you're 20, it doesn't matter if you're 50, it doesn't matter if you're thinking about retirement because like there is always a time where you can change and bring something new into your life. And that's what keeps us inspired. It's what keeps us stimulated and it's what keeps our brains alive. Like literally that's staying interested and, and being interested in things and learning new things is one of the most important things in life. Every single person

is going to face their own set of challenges when transitioning or when wanting to make a career pivot. I mean, the challenges that you'll face in your early twenties are very, very different to the challenges that you're going to face when you have a family. And so you do have to approach those things and consider your context. You have to consider your priorities. You have to consider your family and you have to consider like the people that are dependent on you if you have three children obviously that's going to be a lot harder for you to then just transition maybe you do have to wait a couple of years before you make those choices and maybe there are more sacrifices that come along but it's not to say that it's impossible it's only impossible if you have the

mindset of it's something that I can't do and I'm never going to do but if you if you research it if you look at what study options there might be part-time if you look at people who in your area could mentor you if you reach out to people who have created businesses very similar to one that you want to create or they're doing careers in occupations that you would like to explore I think that there's always an option for someone who is serious about making a career pivot but every single person is going to you know have a very unique set of challenges to do that well for example I have a girlfriend she's a teacher she's been a teacher for a long time she has a child, she wanted a career change, but like it wasn't, it wasn't going to be easy for her. So

for years she enrolled into psychology. She wants to be a psychologist. She is doing a psychology course. That's usually, I think three to four years. She's doing it over almost 10 years because to her, that's her option. She's like, I'm going to just start doing it. I'm interested in it. So I'm going to, I'm going to start like part, part, part, part, part time and just do one step at a time. Because the thing that you have to remember guys is life is going to change anyway. I mean, life is going to continue anyway, whether you're chasing your dreams or changing little parts of your life to achieve what you want, whether you're doing it or not, time is going past. So you may as well start to make changes so that as time goes past, you're, you're growing

with it. Do you get what I mean? A hundred percent. I mean, it's the difference of like, okay, yeah, sure. You could say, well, I don't want to do that new course because it's going to take me six years to do that course and actually be finished. Well, you know what? You could be 30 and start now. And when you're 36, you'll be in a career that you want to be working in or you can be 36 you didn't start when you were 30 and you'll be still in the same shit career that you don't enjoy and that's not fulfilling for you so I think you know you can look at it from either side of the coin something can take you a hell of a lot longer than what you expect anticipate or want but if that means that when you get to that point in your life that

you're able to actually make that change and it's going to be fulfilling for you and you're going to live a life that inspires you and you get up in the morning you're like fuck yeah I love my job because I genuinely think you know you spend 50% of your life at work you should not be and I don't think anybody should be waking up in the morning going I fucking hate my job and I don't want to go to work I've got some interesting statistics for you Laura on the jobless website they've this midlife career crisis survey which I love the name of it I'm sure we've all been there or felt it at some point in time but they did the top five reasons that people change careers in their life uh what do you think have you have you seen this yet what would you think is the top reason people

change their career so i would think one of the big reasons why someone would change their career is because they feel underappreciated yeah for me that was a huge thing like and one of the reasons why i wanted to work for myself was because i i mean maybe this is like such a gen what generation are we gen i get them all mixed up there's so many gen letters and i don't know i don't know what we are anymore i was like i know this is like probably something that's very like my generation to say, but like I never felt very appreciated in my role where I worked. And I always felt like, you know, I was hustling to try and get a pay rise. I was constantly fighting for something that I felt like I deserved. And maybe my manager and my boss would be like, well, you

had an inflated sense of your own self-worth and you thought you deserve more. But I look back on that time and I think I didn't really have the respect that I felt like I deserved as someone who was you know I wasn't a senior but I was doing very senior jobs I was doing very senior jobs and I had a very junior title which didn't really sit with me and and you know it was a conversation that kept happening over the space of five years and eventually I was like I'm so sick of being not appreciated in this job well 47 percent of people so the the highest number of people the reason that they change their careers is for better pay oh yeah money talks yeah money money talks um 39 said that their job was just too stressful so they were trying to take you know

they're trying to wind it back a little bit 37 wanted a better work-life balance so too many too much overtime too many weekends yeah and i think that that sort of percentage as well would change as you get older so like you know what you want when you're in your 20s is different to what you want in your 30s and it's different to what you want in your 40s and then only 25 said that they wanted a new challenge which i found was interesting because i feel like that's sort of maybe what you where you're at you're like I'm bored af I want something new however if you look at the very last one that you've got there on the list it says no longer passionate about the field so I reckon you can put wanted a new challenge and no longer passionate in the same category so

that takes up 45 percent of people who after a while of being in the same career feel disenchanted by that career I will then to continue on with the survey after people changed their jobs and their careers. They went back and resurveyed them. 77% said that they were happier. 75% they were more satisfied. 69% said that they were more fulfilled and 65% said they were less stressed. So there's some pretty positive statistics. Well, I guess one of the things that I just wanted to highlight as well about this idea of like, you know, having a career change later in life is like, it doesn't matter what career you have. There's always going to be days where you don't necessarily want to do your job. Like, I mean, I am so fortunate. I love

my job. I love my business, but there are definitely days where I'm like, I don't really like work today. And that is always going to follow you no matter what you do or where you work or whatever tasks are put on your plate. But it's this overwhelming feeling. If you every day are living for the weekend, if you, your Monday and Friday are like the black hole of your week, and then your weekends are what you live for. And that's when you actually feel like you come alive. Then that's when you really need to start considering like, well, what am I doing with my life. I don't want to waste this time because you should be getting up 99.9% of the time and being like, you know what? I've got it pretty fucking good. We've had so many people over the

last few months, constantly writing. Cause we get you guys writing a lot about what you want us to talk about, about your questions that you want us to answer. And there've been a lot of questions that have literally been regarding, I'm not happy with what I am at 34. I'm not happy with where I am at 38. How do I, how do I change this? Do I change this? Am I stupid for giving up a really good job so I think we just wanted to address it and let you know that you know there aren't any pressures for what you can do there's no limitation on what you can do and when you can do it if you don't have your baby at 35 or at 30 and you're not married you're not engaged we want you to feel that a you're not alone and b there is absolutely nothing wrong with that because you were just on

your journey and your age does not determine if you can be successful just like your bank account doesn't determine if you're happy wow that was so good I really enjoyed that but before we go and before we wrap this up completely like I I really wanted like Britt and I to both share our own personal journeys in this episode and it wasn't to kind of like harp on about ourselves or to like be overly self-indulgent but it's like I think that sometimes you know we can put out there that we have our shit together and we can kind of put out there that you know we're kicking all these life goals but we ain't my shit is not together I still slave away in a hospital I still do all the things yeah but I think then when you break it down and you know you look at what

somebody else's idea of like and I and I think about myself personally I'm sure that there's people who look at me and go oh well you know you're happily in a relationship and you have you know another kid on the way like that there you go you fit the timeline but then when I break down and actually look at what I expected of myself and what I expected of my timeline those things didn't match up for me and so I guess you know we really wanted to kind of show you guys that like the timeline doesn't fucking matter like live your life in a way that makes you happy that empowers you that makes you feel spontaneous and you are getting the absolute most out of life and know that if the reason why you're feeling insecure or not good enough or you're questioning

your decisions in life is because of other people's expectations on you then that's their fucking problem and not yours boom did i think that i would be 33 single and childless and talking shit in my lounge room at midnight with you no all right guys you know that we never finish an episode without our suck and our sweet and that is our highlight and our low light of every single week and britney you can kick it off what was your suck come at me girl something funny actually happened and it's not that it's actually not that sucky but it's it sort of is um literally talking to I have one guy that is sort of like in my life at the moment I know I haven't been updating you on my love life much

at the moment guys but I've just been too busy but I've got this one guy that I was talking to online and anyway I woke up this morning and he had texted me so I wrote to him good morning that was it then I got I got about my day I got really busy and then I went back a couple of hours later and I don't know what had happened but I had wigged out and it had sent my good morning text eight times I'm not kidding it looks like I had written good morning good morning good morning good morning good morning good morning good morning and I got like progressively more passive-aggressive as the good mornings passed honestly I was like why why why are you not functioning like this why you do me dirty like this do me like this anyway so I I had to

write back again so I was like a nine row texter and I was like I'm not sure why is I'm not sure why I said this nine times and he hadn't written back to you and then I don't know what happened but he must he must his his profile must have been deleted no his phone must be all day bless him he wrote all you or your phone really just wants you to talk to me something like that he was trying to like make up for it but surely he would know I didn't message him nine times right no he probably thinks you're crazy especially if he listens to this podcast okay and what was your sweet my sweet is I well it hasn't happened yet but I'm waking up early in the morning and I am flying down to Adelaide tomorrow I'm actually the first flight and god knows how long getting out of the

bubble and it's like it's gonna feel finally like we're doing something it's actually so rough like I mean obviously like we have so many of you guys are based in Melbourne and we have so many people who have been listening to the podcast throughout your crazily extended lockdown and like I know that sometimes it must sound like here we're just in a different world because we've just been able to kind of get on with life in in some sort of relatively normal way but yeah I like thinking of you because it's just we're so happy that things are starting to to relax and that you guys have you can leave your houses and there's no five kilometer limit anymore and like all of this is going to be behind us and be a very very strange thing that one day we're going to tell

our kids or our grandkids yeah hopefully you guys are really on the home stretch now we genuinely we are our thoughts are with you all the time all right so my suck my suck for the week well I mean I think we all kind of know what that is the fact that I didn't mentor I literally didn't get out of bed so I we recorded last week's episode on Monday and then after we recorded i went to bed and then i didn't get out of bed for like six days it was insane six days i just stayed in bed i i walked maybe from the bed to the toilet that was about it sometimes to the fridge if matt wasn't home but um i just couldn't i physically couldn't get out of bed i've never ever felt so sick i've never felt so um depleted of energy and so i yep sound like i'm being super

dramatic but that was absolutely my suck the entire week was my suck um my sweet is is that today is the first day that I have literally left the confines of my apartment I walked out of my house and I was like that's what the sun looks like like you're melting like a vampire um yeah so like today has been it's so nice to just feel healthy again and like to not take that for granted but anyway guys thank you so much to everybody who's listened to another episode um we like we love you guys we love like all of your involvement your conversations happening on the Facebook page at the moment. It blows my mind. Oh my God. If you haven't watched SAS, I'm like so hooked. It's disgusting. We can talk about it in the Facebook group. Get in there if you've

been watching it. Britt has some suppressed trauma about watching it. She hasn't seen the episodes yet. So she does need to catch up because honestly, if you haven't watched it, it is the best bit of reality TV going around at the moment. Anyway, back on track. Life Uncut podcast. That's our Facebook group. We've also got the Instagram. If you're not following that, then do so because there are some very funny lols going down there and if you haven't if you're one of the cheeky people that have listened to so many episodes and haven't gotten onto apple to leave us a review yet then you're in the naughty book just do it for laura naughty corner that's what you're in but yes jump on and leave us a review at apple podcast because we will love you forever guys we hope you

took something away from today and if just at the minimum all we want you to know is that wherever you are in your journey that is life wherever you are it is so okay because it is your journey now hit subscribe five stars leave a review and share the love because we love love