Life Uncut - Some BIG Changes Are Coming 🇮🇹 & Maybe You're Feeling 'Time Sick'?

Episode Date: December 9, 2025

Hey lifers! It was lovely seeing all of your spotify wrappeds and every year we are surprised by how much we are able to infiltrate your ears! We think they were sneaky with how they went about ‘assuming’ your age based on your listening and Laura wants it to be clear that she is a mum and the K Pop demon hunters wasn’t her.We know that one time we kind of pulled your leg with a ‘Britt’s big life update’ but this time we actually do have a bit of a life update for you! We chat about all of the changes coming to the podcast next year! Please welcome the offcuts! Britt has sat on telling us all a story for nearly 3 weeks because she’s so embarrassed. In her own words “I’ve done something really stupid” and look, we don’t disagree! Laura has been sucked into a new hyperfixation after Black Friday sales that she’s mostly confused about and doubting the claims that you will see results in 8 weeks. We’re 2 weeks away from Christmas and with it comes an avalanche of feelings and emotions!Tanya Hennessy recently wrote an article titled “I’m homesick for a place I can’t go.” She has a recurring feeling of homesickness and restlessness, not necessarily for a place she grew up, but for a sense of “home” that she can’t define or return to.We speak about experiencing this feeling even when we’re in our own home or with family, reflecting a kind of existential longing rather than literal nostalgia. We also chat about how our sense of ‘home’ has changed so much over the years and at times thinking about what it means now can feel confronting. You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne Produced by Keeshia Pettit Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford Recorded on Cammeraygal Land Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany. And I'm Laura. And can I just say, it was nice seeing everyone's Spotify raps over the last week, wasn't it? It really was. There are some proper diehards, that's what I'll say. And every year it gets i was gonna say worse worse it gets more like you guys get more die hard and i love it i didn't update my spotify so i didn't get one and then i had really bad fomo but probably a good thing because i think it would just be 72 000 hours of the wiggles so and or no actually k-pop demon hunters and i don't think that that's a true reflection of who i am k-pop demon i think was like

one of the biggest streamed things of the year because even when the kids weren't in the car you find yourself putting on k-pop demon hunters what am i gonna listen to now well my i've just been conditioned it's k-pop demon hunters or taylor swift's new album that's my entire life that's my whole identity this year i have a theory that you know the age thing where they like guessed what your age was i have a theory that they gave you either end of the spectrum because they have all your data they know how old you actually are mine came out as 71 and i was like what no and then i got a lot of messages saying well you did vibe that 70s playlist exactly did make sense but yours came out as like 20 something but that checks no that checks out and britney shared

it straight away and she was like 25 biological age I I like my listening age the same as like my men age 21 Robert Irwin no it actually my music taste checks out because I do listen to like a lot of young I'm happy to say a young pop kind of stuff I just wish Spotify was better at identifying oh you're a mom do you know I mean like because like I listen to some things that are actually the music I want to listen to and then 90% it's the stuff that my kids want to listen to so i wish that spotify instead of it just giving you an age it saw that you played poopoo bum bum seven times this year and it was like oh you're a mom so just there you go what was your age who knows what your age is i didn't update my spotify so i didn't get a rap this year

but also check out that's so laura coded she's like my spotify is my spotify is still on my flip phone i'm just assuming that it would assume my age was different to what it actually is because i have children but i think the faux outrage worked mine just says undiagnosed adhd That's what mine comes out. It's like, what is your Spotify route? Undiagnosed. Undiagnosed, unmedicated. Someone please diagnose and medicate her, please.

That's my New Year's resolution, my biggest wish for you. I'm happy in who I am, living life with some sort of, like, you know, unbalanced go for me. You can still be happy with the diagnosis. In fact, I think you'll be happier. The whole ADHD community just went, what the fuck, Laura? I usually relate to you. There's a really good podcast series called Clown.

I'll send it to you. I haven't heard of it. What's that? 10-part miniseries on ADHD. Conversations that are not that common about ADHD. Do you know what, though? Some of you guys are most listened to. So I don't know what percentage it went up to,

but it was like the 5% most listened to of Life Uncut, the 0.1% most listened to of Life Uncut. Like if you were a diehard lifer, Spotify told you. And I saw one. I wish I'd screenshot it properly and actually remembered everyone's name. So I deeply am sorry. but one of them said 18,360 and I came in this morning and I was like oh my god guys did you see the lifer who's listened to 18,000 hours of life on cart and Keisha was like no

did you see the lifer who listened to 35,000 wait no sorry 38 38,000 hours and we just did the maths on it so minutes sorry fucking hate my life how's that and I know that Go clean back to that ADHD medication. I've got the screen to do it. 38,945 minutes. They were a top 0.01% fan. Okay, I did the maths on this. That person listened to Life Uncut, listened to us speaking

for 26 consecutive days. So 24 hours a day, nonstop, 26 days of their life this year they listened to us. That is more than my husband has ever listened to me in our seven-year relationship no nine how long have we been together i don't know so i had a lifer respond and say they were like a pretty new lifer in terms of like the last 12 months ish but they discovered us and she said she has two episodes left of our entire catalog that is over 1000 episodes in six years she found us and then was like i need every single episode so she has

listened now to every single episode and as a new discovery so someone do those minutes but those minutes are insane like that person doesn't have a job for sure yeah i actually reckon those people would have listened to equal if not more than what i've listened to of life uncut this year and i have to listen to it three times before it goes hang on no you don't have to i get it's a difference you get and we only pay you for one of those listens the rest is for the joy of it no honestly though thank you guys so much seeing all of your shares and your spotify raps and seeing how many episodes and how many minutes you've listened to the podcast this year it is honestly insane like every year it is I mean every year it comes as kind of like a surprise in terms of like the volume

that you guys listen to us and we are so grateful for you and if you were in our very top percentile like if you were in the in the upper echelons of Life Uncut you received a special video which confused everybody else in the Life Uncut discussion group but you received a special video which we made that only went out to like the top percentile of listeners and there was a little easter egg in that video yes there was can we officially announce ciao i've been practicing in italia all of our italian listeners just unsubscribed. I'm moving to Italy. Okay. Now let me wind it back. I am going to Italy officially, but I am coming back every couple of months for work. So like, as much as I say,

I'm going there, I will be back sporadically. It's literally what you're doing now, but in reverse. Yes. So right now I base myself here. As you guys know, every couple of months I go to see Ben and that just it just wasn't flying anymore like I was flying it wasn't flying so I think I've seen him 10 days since our wedding in June like so we got married we spent two weeks together after it's now Christmas it has been six months and I have seen him for 10 days and I was like this actually can't work anymore it was fine the first year it was okay the second year this is going into year four now. I want to spend more time with my husband. So we made the decision and we made it together. It wasn't just based off that. Laura and I, there are a lot of little

things moving in life. She popped a baby out. We had some changes at work and we thought why not just upheave our life and make some big changes. We're like the internet's good these days. I mean, you guys probably remember if you've been with the pod for long enough or listened to it long enough, when Brit went overseas to visit Jordan and then conveniently got stuck and was able to live her life during covid we did oh yeah and i moved into her apartment you yeah you i don't know i just want to stop you here i just don't know if me talking about moving to my husband finally is the right time to talk about my ex sorry it was like and me making it about myself i'm not making it about about my ex it wasn't about him it was about the fantastic fast internet that is

accessible in 2025 and 2026 one would believe so we did the um podcast by distance back then for like almost six months of covid and like we've already done it so many times in the past so this is the plan brit's gonna be moving over there well we don't know exactly where she's going then she's coming back i'm going in 10 days but we're already on holiday so nothing changes when i'm i'm going to come back next year to kick off the year here again and then i haven't worked it out yet but every couple of months i'll come back but it's not in your ears nothing is changing in fact it's only going to get better but wait there's more no but also the other thing that we want to talk about and I did see it kicking off in the Facebook group last week people were asking

questions and I think it's because well actually no I know about how you got fired yeah yeah it's because we made jokes about how we got fired and then we didn't actually give any context to that and then everyone was jumping to conclusions and I like the jump but one of the big changes that's happening next year is we aren't doing the pickup I know we made jokes about it but we aren't doing the radio show next year yeah we did say we got fired a lot which we kind of did we sort of just we were like we got fired and they were like we didn't really give any explanation but yeah well the reason for that is is in order to be able to continue to do the pickup Brit would have had to have stayed in the country and I wouldn't have been able to take maternity leave until like mid

next year the plan is is I'm I mean now I can actually spend time with the girls and Brit can go and spend time with Ben and none of those things were feasible if we were going to do the pick up next year so currently we're with iHeart which is like ARN I mean this is probably a little bit too much of the behind the scenes a lot of you might not even know this I don't think anyone even cares well I mean they did in the Facebook group so I kind of want to like give the explanation to it so so we are currently with ARN the only thing that ARN does though for us is that they sell the ad space so we own Life Uncut it is our podcast we make the decisions Ness and I work for Brit and Laura not for any company yeah and we have full creative control over the content that

we create and we will continue to do so the only thing that we lean on the support for is to you know so that you guys every so often when there's an ad in the episode that is so that we can concentrate on the creative and there's someone else that takes care of ad sales we're moving across to listener which is just a different platform it would be no different to you nothing will change the only thing that's going to change is the fact that Brittany will wake up eating croissants and we will still be in Sydney yeah Benny's like beside himself excited he just he just can't wait and even though it's not I'm still going to be coming back all the time it's still going to be very transient we're still going to be away from each other for pretty big blocks

I'm really looking forward to like the boring stuff they're like watching tv together like going for a walk together the stuff that seems like so mundane but we just don't get to do it this last six months since we got married has been really tough because we've wanted to be together more than ever because we're newly married and it's been the longest we've been apart and it wasn't intentional it's just work has just been like but also I mean the only other thing I want to say on this is like obviously nothing changes for the podcast because and what we're trying to communicate is we have control over that the thing we don't have control over is the radio side of things and the radio side of things is the most restrictive I know I kept

saying like I'm gonna have more maternity leave this year the one thing I can take more maternity leave from is from radio and now that's a possibility so I am able to kind of like scale down on work until at least mid-year next year yeah so it's worked for both of us i don't want you to think that it's just been this decision that had to be made because you want to go overseas brit yeah yeah it worked really well for both of us and where we're at in life so anyway long story short nothing changes and we will be continuing so like you guys know that the pickup episode goes into the podcast we will still have an episode on that sunday dropping it is going saturday morning we on the saturday because keisha edits yeah saturday morning eight o'clock every saturday

morning um we will have that episode going and so it's going to be similar but at least it's probably going to feel more like the podcast now because we don't have to abide by all the rules of radio and you know we don't have to refer to each other 17 times in a break just in case someone doesn't know who we are and continuity of a new listener but also listen to this strappiness some of our finest work the episode is called the off cuts oh that's good right I came up with it thank you well done Keisha we pay you the big bucks for a reason I was talking to the listeners that is good like that is a good episode title it's basically going to be it's life uncut so my thought was like the off cuts the bit that kind of maybe made it to the

cutting room floor that was a little bit unhinged or a little bit like no that definitely makes it big enough to you know put into the main episode as like a big deep unpack could just be something that's going on in the world we're going to package up these little kind of i don't know it's going to be a little bit of like a conversational shit talk and i think it's perfect for a weekend yeah and it's also very i mean it's similar to what we do now where they're mini breaks they're discussing something or a topic most of them will be light-hearted and fun things happening in the world happening in pop culture and it's it is going to be a snackable little episode that is dropping in your feeds on a saturday morning just for the nomies just just

that's we want you to wake up on a saturday and go eat your croissant and then anyway that was like a really big unpack of what's happening next year it's a fucking big you guys it's going to be great strap on in 38 000 minutes of listening hours i cannot also can we just say i genuinely think we need to make this but we were making the joke the other week about life uncut bingo like some lifers over the years every year they come in and they say at this time of year hey let's do a life uncut bingo if somebody says something a lot yeah it really galvanizes us i think we should do it yours was galvanize and triangulate please yeah the thing i got told this year so then i had a lifer write to me yesterday and was like i know what your one

is about if there was gonna be a britney bingo yours is it's wild well that's a good one but that's not it she said every time you say and it has to be said like this sorry do you know what other one i think for you it's so funny here's what i want to say Here's what I want to say. I'm like, just say it. No, that's Laura. No, there's another one as well. No, that's Laura.

No, there's one more. The reason why it's interesting is, yeah, it's to start every sentence when we're not really sure what we're saying and it's actually not that interesting. No, because Laura's is, can I just say, that's Laura's. All right, guys, let's move on. Anyway, sorry. Okay, hang on.

Sorry, I do need to tell you something. I battled with whether to say this or not the last week or two. I have been sitting on it for about 10 days. I did something really dumb. I hate that you've kept this because you thought you had some dignity and then you were scraping the bottom of the barrel for content. This is what's happened. I know exactly what's going on in your brain. Every week you've had something to talk about. And then now this week you've got like, fuck, I've got nothing. Oh, I guess. And you've emotionally dealt with whatever it is that

you've gone through and you're like, it's okay. Now it's content for the pod. No, there was a few reasons I didn't want to say it. A little bit of that. Not going to lie. Pretty dry. It's pretty dry at the end of the year. No, but I checked it by Ben because I didn't know if he would want me to say it. I checked it by Ben and he was fine with it.

And Claire, our friend who I spend a lot of time with, was like, you need to say it. Anyway, whatever. I'm just going to say it. I obviously do like influencer work and I do stuff online. Do you? Well, you need to understand it. And we never really talk about it on here, but I have to talk about it because otherwise it doesn't make sense to the story and so recently I worked with Qantas where we did like a big

giveaway online for Qantas points and now this might be interesting to people it might not be but I didn't earn money from that they don't pay me to do that they just say are you interested in promoting this we'll give you some points as your payment like that's just how it works that's the exchange it's not a monetary exchange and I was like yeah cool I fly a lot as you guys know I fly like 10 times a year it is so expensive so I was like yes great I'll get some points that will help remember that time you upgraded to first class you guys know I've used all my points and Ben's points for upgrading to first class accidentally and if you don't know that story you go back and find it so I do the job and then in my notes app on my phone because I fly so much and I always have

and I just have a bad memory I have one page of notes where I've got everything to do with flying on one page and it's all my different membership numbers and frequent flyer numbers and Skywoods numbers depending on what airline then I've got Ben's on there in case I'm using his so it's in one notes page and it starts with my Qantas frequent flyer and then it goes down into like different numbers and so for years every time I go and book a flight I go into my notes app copy and paste what I need put it into the flight get on with my life so I've done this job and then Qantas messaged me and they say thank you so much send us over your frequent flyer number we'll put it in we'll load up your points I was like bingo go into my notes app copy my frequent

flyer send it over to them the next day I get a message from Qantas Brittany just wanted to check that you that was the right frequent flyer that you wanted to send all your points to I was like yeah for sure they're like okay nothing the next day just doubly want to want to check that you really want to send these points to that frequent flyer and I went back and checked cross-checked I was like checked my notes up, went and cross-checked to what I sent them and I was like, yeah, it's just not coming up under your name. I was like, that's weird. I was like, what?

I've been using that frequent flyer. I fly a lot. I've been using that frequent flyer for four years. I was like, what names are coming up under? And they said, Jordan Thompson. No! How many points have you sent him? Four years?

Wow. No, I feel sick. Do you reckon he's grateful? Do you reckon he's like, Brittany, I fucking get it. You've got another international partner. Four years, sorry. He would have no idea. He would have no idea.

No, he has no idea. And no one ever checks them, right? But like, oh, I mean, most people don't check them. No, he would have no idea because he flies every week of the year. So he's accumulating his points anyway. I have given him every flight. Hundreds of thousands. Of my four years.

my question is can you call him and ask for them back hi jordan i just need to do a transfer i know you haven't spoken in a while but you have something i want back i'm your own god i'm i feel sick saying i nearly died and i just thought oh my god i wrote back to him straight away i said this is a sick joke they were like this is not a joke and i said do not send him any more points and i was like i need to confirm my number and i was i was just i was like why have i four years four years so i'd obviously and i remembered when i started dating him i didn't fly a lot I didn't have a frequent flyer so you gave him your points back then no so he was obviously booking with his points and I've obviously written his frequent flyer down in my

notes app no but your okay sorry hold on the frequent flyer has to relate to the to the ticket so you shouldn't be able to go back you can put it on anyone no any you can you can use any frequent flyer on any ticket can you yeah I've had like other companies book my flights but they will put the points on mine yeah ben you can share you can share points you can use anyone's point i thought it was a case not an ad no dude if there's any non-ad this is it i thought it was a case that if you if you book a flight you can't take someone else's points you could you've got to put the frequent flyer down that relates to the person i can tell you that's not true i've just done it for four years let's just have a little check of that would you like me to message jordan

for you he'll hear it from you it'll go somewhere anyway I didn't want to tell Ben part of me was like he's he's gonna be mad is he like I didn't know and I don't know why I just thought imagine no sometimes you do things that are so stupid that you're like I actually I'm just gonna take the embarrassment myself I don't want anyone else to know about this it's like when you have to do a really simple math sum on the calculator and I think it's also because we spend so much money flying to each other, knowing that like all the benefits of that have gone to an ex is fucking wild. Anyway, I didn't want to tell him.

He knows now. This is, this is also what happens in my brain, right? This just happened. And like, then two hours later, I'm on the phone to Ben and in my head, I was like, I can never bring this up, but I can, I can't keep a secret. And I was like, Ben, I have to tell you something. Anyway, I told him, he thought it was hilarious. He's like, babe, accidents happen.

He's like, he didn't. And I was like, you don't care at all. He's like, no, he's like, he's like, sure. It's not ideal. He's like, you've used all my points on first class and you've given every point you've earned to your ex. I was like, I'm so sorry. I was like, it's so Britney coded.

Anyway, that was what I did. So it's rectified now and I thought I'm going to take this to the grave and then I thought, fuck it, I'm just going to tell him. You're like, I'm dry for content this week, so I'm going to tell him. It's a public service announcement. But Jordan wouldn't even know. No, of course he wouldn't, but I'm glad he does now because you don't want him to skip through life thinking

that he earned that when he didn't. Yeah. That could be, I mean, to be fair, that would have come through as an ask uncut at some point and someone would have said, can I ask my ex for them back? The answer is no. No, no, you can't. You really can't.

That is a gratuitous gift. Ben did say, why don't you try and get them back? I was like, it doesn't work like that. You don't. He was like, you could tell Qantas what you've done. I was like, Qantas doesn't care. Qantas doesn't care that I've given my points to my ex. Like they could not care less, but I would have given hundreds

of thousands of points. Yeah, that's a real shame. I'm sorry that that happened to you. Dude, what's wrong with me? oh my anyway you're welcome well last week you guys might remember we were talking about black friday and i we were talking about the impulse purchases because the ads got me good on a few things firstly pants do you like them shoes also great shirt it is it's weird to see you in shoes for people that don't know laura either has no shoes on or she has open toe shoes you're not a

closed shoe person i'm not i'm not but i bought these for 99 during black friday sales and i bought them in multiple colors and every single day matt's been like can you please wear those shoes that you bought he he's really into them i think he has a kink for these kind of shoes he probably has a kink for clean feet now that you say that possibly no the only problem with wearing closed shoes i wonder if anyone else feels like this i feel as though i'm trapped like i feel like my feet are being hugged and it's a real weird sensory thing because i always wear you know at the start of this episode how we spoke about I don't know come on come on no sensory things can be a real thing yeah but I just feel

like my foot is being hugged the whole time and then I can feel that my feet in between my toes are sweaty anyway that's really not where I put mum's spaghetti there's vomit on her shoulder already sweater whatever she did the mum version she did when there's a kid okay so the one thing I did receive I bought online this radio frequency led light it does everything cavitation sculpting it's meant to sculpt your body okay oh you got sucked in I got sucked in it was it was I'd had a few wines I'm not gonna lie and I really didn't look at the price it was uh 30% off and it was wildly expensive it's kind of like you know those lead light masks and they're all really expensive but everyone seems to get one don't you already have one of those I have one

of those and I don't use it but I'm definitely going to use this one okay this was my this is my thought process. So I bought this thing and it looks petrifying. It's like, it's a round disc thing that you rub over your body. And my postpartum feels got me good. Okay. I was feeling a little bit insecure. That's what they do. They get you vulnerability. It's like my Facebook ads knew that I was postpartum. It knew that I have a little bit of loose skin on my stomach. And it was like, you know what? She's going to want this radio frequency tool. So I got it. It arrived. Of course I charged it up and I used it for the first time last night. And I'm 99% convinced it does absolutely nothing like I think it is just it's like a Christmas tree light that I'm rubbing

on my body please can you bring it in I need to see it but having said that it lights up with three different colors genuinely you could put it on top of the tree as a star sorry I got it and you've got this like activating gel and I put the activating gel on and I was like oh I feel a bit scared like I was like fuck it's gonna like zap me or something it's gonna do something nothing it looks like it does something and I like slowed it down scared and then I put on my stuff is nothing zero not even a buzz not even a warmth are you sure it was on yep all the flashing lights would have would have indicated it was on and so I did it and you're meant to do like 10 minutes per body part and the body part's only about this big that is hours of you're meant

to use it three to four times a week we all know I'm gonna pike out after the first week so I used it I used it on my stomach and I used it on my ass and I did that laying in bed last night whilst Poppy was asleep. And that took you a week. That's where she's been. Yeah. She keeps being like, can't come in today. She's doing radio frequency in her arm. What did you do on your maternity leave? I radio frequented my ass. I cavitated my ass. So, okay. So I did this, did my stomach, didn't feel anything completely. You're like, where's my six pack? I know. It's like going to the gym once and then you look at yourself in the mirror afterwards and you're like, Did it work?

Yeah. We've all been there. But I woke up this morning, I had the weirdest stomach pains and I'm not sure whether I just scrambled my insides and didn't know about it. Like, is that what the radio frequency does? I don't know. Radio frequency is really good when done properly.

When my organs hurt. No, it needs to be on the right frequency. It needs to have the right power source. It needs heaps of stuff. But, like, radio frequency is a real thing. I'm pretty sure radio waves are, like, what we all communicate on. I think they're different ones. As in your phone and stuff, it goes on radio waves.

No, it's like RF. RF is really good for tightening. Trust me, I've had it. Should I rub my phone on my stomach? Would that have been better? Should I masturbate on my phone? We've all tried that as well. We have not!

You're such a sicko. That literally is her whole maternity leave. Anyway, I tried. I tried, guys. Don't give up yet. How long should I try for? How long does it say on the box? Can you send me the product so I can see it?

Let me review it. It's one of those infuriating things where it says you won't see any changes for up to eight weeks and you have to use it three to four times a week. it's just such a time investment that no one actually has so they know that you're never going to follow the rules and that way like you're never going to get the result so when you email them and say this doesn't work they'll be like well did you use it for 17 hours every did you use it as frequently as that person listened to your podcast i bought that thing we spoke about on the podcast but i bought that thing that was similar and it's a face thing and i got sucked

into an ad as well and you're supposed to like it's supposed to be some kind of rf thing and you're supposed to push it up your face and it sculpts and it tightens i fucking used it once and I was like, who's using this? What do we do with this stuff? Do you remember that massager that I bought and I vibed on the podcast? Stop it. You stopped using it, didn't you?

It just sits on my lounge. I use it when I come to your house. I've almost started using it now as it just belongs there. That's where it lives. It just lives on my, it's like a metre long. It's a big black snake thing. An ornament. That's what I'm worried that this is going to become.

Like I put it next to the bed with the intention that I'm going to try and use it every night for 10 minutes, but I am not convinced it's doing anything. It's not even particularly relaxing because the lights flash so much that it could induce epilepsy. And I just, yeah, it's such a time waste. You're better off, and I'm not saying this. Poppy was laying in the bed next to me.

It was like a disco, like a silent disco for her. No, she can sleep in anything. You're better off spending your time, if you're going to be using 20 minutes of that, you're better off to get on your bike for 20 minutes. And I'm not saying that you need to, but, like, if you're going to weigh up the two things, laying down and rubbing that fucking thing on your belly or getting on a bike for 20 minutes, get on the bike.

Yeah, I know, but it's nice to do something that's not exercise and that promises you the same outcome. When I go to Pilates, my favorite part at the end is when you just lay on the bed and meditate. Yesterday she had to be like, Brittany, you're the last one here. It's time to go. I was like, I just didn't want to get up. I was just laying down sleeping.

She's like, no, you actually need to leave. Oh, dear. Yeah, look, I am the problem. Anyway, don't buy it. I'm not going to vibe it. I don't want to say the brand because I don't want to like poo-poo something. I would love you to send it to me so I can just see what it is and what you've got sucked in.

really good really yeah I even bought two I bought one of what so you can do them both at the same time so you're doing your butthole at the same time not the same exact one I bought a different version of something similar that does something else what does it do tell me it sucks it sucks what you bought a clit sucker what did you buy tell me what you bought it sucks it's for cellulite okay I bought two things I bought one that's meant to be for skin tightening but you already You bought cellulite last year. I didn't use that one either. You vibed it a couple of weeks ago, the silicon thing.

What? No, I unsubscribed from that. That was an unsubscribe. That was absolutely not a vibe. Sorry. I got confused. Anyway, guys, I am the problem. I should not.

But this is okay. Hear me out. The reason why it happens is because it's late at night. I'm by myself and I'm breastfeeding and I'm on the internet. Oh, Meta fucking knows. It is a dangerous combination. And so literally Meta sees like a woman in her late 30s is scrolling the internet at 4 a.m and like oh you're postpartum you have insecurities here's this liposuction cellulite

skin tightening the shit i get targeted in the middle and the wee hours of the night time and they're like quick buy in the next hour and you can get it for 30 off and i'm like well i'm only gonna be awake for 25 minutes so i better go i don't mean to suck the fun out of this but a conversation that i really wanted to have on the podcast this year it was a couple of months ago had to do with the flow app selling all of your data to meta so this literally was proven they've had to pay fines that had to pay very big fines they sold the data that you input into the flow app which is a period tracking app and they're not the only one who does it so i'm not like pointing the finger necessarily no it's not a conspiracy they've been fined in court no they

sold the data so meta would know what part of your cycle you're at when you're going to be feeling like you want to exercise when you're going to be feeling insecure like you've got breakouts when you're emotional it's cooked well this is okay so i am just a victim everyone that's what i am i am a victim you are a victim to more things than one you're also a victim to beauty standards that's something we're also talking about soon on the podcast you know what you can do you're not you're off we'll just turn it into a christmas ornament now you've got a flashing light every december yeah we unfortunately don't have a topper for the tree yet so if you give it one week and i'm gonna stick the shiny little disco ball up there we're only two weeks away

from Christmas at the moment. Elf on the shelf. Don't you? We are. 14 more days of elf on the shelf, everyone. I know. Isn't it weird? I don't know if you guys feel this, and I know we're about to unpack something, but it does not feel like Christmas to me at all. But that's also because you're at home. Living alone, depressed. You're alone with your dog. Yeah, there's no Christmas tree. I went to tinsel my fiddle leaf tree. It died again. The one Keisha brought back to life. Did it really die? Yeah, I went away on the weekend when it was scorching heat and it was outside he was fried you murdered it you murdered i didn't but global warming did all right climate change is real and i came back and the poor little thing had been in the sun for two days and who

thought that could happen in two days well i i would with a fiddle fee because you can't trust those bastards they'll kill over the sign of anything i'm actually yours particularly he's an arsehole that's only because you already killed it okay all right back on track back on hennessy okay i came across an article that i wanted to unpack with you guys tanya hennessy she is a contributor for Body and Soul. We love Tanya. She's been on the podcast. She's having a baby on Christmas day. Is it Christmas day? She's due Christmas day. We've actually unpacked a couple of things that she's written for Body and Soul. She wrote the whole article around the catch-up trap and friendships. She's just written a new article and it's titled, I'm homesick for a place

I can't go. I am time sick. And I wanted to read the little, the start of this for you. I've been feeling particularly restless coming into the festive season. I've had this overwhelming feeling of homesickness lately. Like I've been searching tirelessly and endlessly for home and I can't find it. It's not my parents' house. It's not a hotel in Dubai with a water slide. I checked there twice. It does feel pretty nice though. It's not in Bathurst where I went to uni and it's not my house, no matter how much I move. So where is it? Why can't I find home? I keep wanting to run to it when things get stressful and intense, but I can't. No matter how hard I look or how much I travel I can't find it so why am I even longing for home when it seemingly doesn't exist I've

looked everywhere then I realized this month after all this searching I am not homesick for a place I'm homesick for a time I am time sick I found this really interesting because I think when we talk about Christmas and we talk about what makes something feel special and magical it's not so much where it is that you spend it or what is that you're doing it's the people that you're spending it with. And I think that that changes as we age and our family dynamics change or depending on where you're at in your life. I know for me, losing family members has really changed how Christmas feels. And I think when I read this, I really resonated with this idea that sometimes we can look back on different points in our life with this real fondness. And even though now I have my

own family and we have our own kids, Christmas feels so different. And it's a time where I guess it's not just the magical joy but it has a lot of complex feelings around it but I imagine for you Laura home for you feels like literal home because you've got the kids there and you have Matt there and you have Matt's mum there and I tell me if I'm wrong but do you feel like that you come home and you're like yeah I feel stable here I feel secure here this is my place because for me when I read this I was trying to place myself and I was like where is home what is home for me yeah What is home? Who is home? What is the feeling? Where do I find it? And I, it was really hard. It was actually quite confronting. I couldn't put my finger on it. I don't really feel like

I have it anymore. My home will always be my family. Like that's a very, I don't want to say an obvious statement, but for me, it's an obvious statement, not for everybody, but for me, like I have a wonderful family, but it's not my true home. It's my home of nostalgia. Like that is the place I grew up and the people that formulated all of those memories. But for now, right now, I live alone in a city with no family and then my parents live five hours away and my sister lives 10 hours away and my husband lives in another continent. I feel really, I don't want to say lost.

Lost might be a bit extreme, but I don't feel like I have that feeling anywhere. Like you're misplaced almost. In a weird way, and I hope no one listens to this and is offended in terms of my family. and this is going to sound fucking crazy in a weird way Delilah feels like my home my dog and I say that because she's the only thing in my life that is with me and there every day and gives me a form of love and you know that's not family everyone gives me love you guys know what I'm

trying to say but for me I have such a transient life that I was really confronted with my own feelings and thoughts and reality when I read Tanya's and she's such a brilliant writer but when I read it, I was like, fuck, where is that? Because even when I'm with Ben, who's obviously my husband, my best friend, love of my life, when I'm with Ben, I'm still not quite home because I'm on the other side of the world from my family and my dog and my friends. And so it's like, I'm always feeling that torn feeling. I also think that is a weird thing that you're touching on. And it's like that sense of belonging when you have a hometown. And if you are someone who has moved away from that hometown, I moved away when I was 18. I've spent a couple of years

back there in between but mostly for my whole adult life I haven't been there and there's a weird point and I don't actually know when the shift happens but it's when you start referring to home and it being the town that you're actually living in rather than your hometown and so for me I would always say like I'm going home for Christmas I'm going home for Christmas and then at one point it became I'm going back to Newcastle for Christmas and I don't really know because for some reason I almost feel as though I don't belong to Newcastle anymore like I'm not sure if I'm explaining that well it's a bit like there's a sadness to it but it's also that I feel as though I've grown into such a different person to who I was when I was back there and so it doesn't feel

as like doesn't feel I don't feel as homesick anymore because that place doesn't actually feel like home as much as what it used to yeah but also maybe it's just a representation of growing up and I know when we spoke about this, Britt, it was one of the things that you kind of touched on. You were like, life is so busy now. Life is so full. And as we kind of get to a different point in sort of age and responsibilities, we can reminisce on a time that feels a lot less stressful. But I also don't think that our memory is a reliable source. I think we can look back on like the photo albums from four years ago and be like, oh my God, remember that? We had so much fun. That holiday was so amazing. But if you're actually in it and experiencing it at the time,

we probably have a very similar level of stresses and everything else to what we have now. I think we like to romanticise what the past was like and look back on it in a sense of fondness. And I know, Britt, you say, I absolutely do feel at home with my kids and with Matt. And that is not a house though. That is not a place.

We've moved around so many times. As a family, we've lived in three different houses. We're not doing Christmas in our home in Bondi. We're doing it down in Ulladulla this year. It doesn't matter where we are, so long as that unit is together, like that is my home. You know, being with Matt, being with the kids,

And being with Ellie now as well, like that is what home feels like. But not only is, I guess, your memory like an unreliable source, I think the thing that I've really noticed since having kids is just how quickly time moves. And I know that sounds like a really benign and dumb thing to say and we're all very aware of it, but looking at Marley and knowing that she's now six and having a baby, it's been this real leveller of just how fast the last six years

have just rapid-fire moved, like have gone by. And, like, I guess even for us, like, you have little people in your house when you are a parent for such a short period of time. And looking at Marley now, we are, for anyone who's listening to this with kids in the car, turn it off. This is your warning. Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off. Turn it off, turn it off.

Because we're talking about Santa Claus. Turn it off. We are already at the point where she's questioning the legitimacy of Santa. At six. At six. So she came home the other day. Mate, it's bloody AR in the internet.

It's impossible. And chat GBT. It's also older kids in after school care is what it is. My brother told me it's six. It's also their access to the internet too. So Marley came home the other day and she was like, Mum, is Santa Claus real? And I was like, oh, I don't want to lie to you.

I don't want to taunt you. I don't know what real parenting is. No, at six you lie. I know. I need to know. I don't know what parents are doing. Are we lying to our children still? Is this what we do?

Yep. Six is too young. I heard an expert say that you can ask them, well, what is Santa Claus to you? I know, but also fucking who has time? Deflect. Deflect. She's a smart kid.

She's going to pretend for a long time she doesn't know. She should get more presents. No, so she said to me, she was like really quite concerned by it and she was like, Mom, is Santa Claus real? And I was like, ah. I was like, do you think he's real? And she was like, well, I do think he's real but it doesn't make sense. She's like, it doesn't make sense that he can fly around the world.

She goes, I think it's you. That's what magic is. He has Britney's Qantas frequent flyer point. I've been transferring him to Santa. I said, you know, that's the whole magic of Christmas. And she goes, but I don't actually believe that magic's real. I think that you do it. And it was so confronting because I was like, oh, I didn't realize we would be at this

destination already. Like the whole magic of Christmas when you have little kids is because there's someone to play Santa Claus for and there's someone to like enact all those things that were done for you when you were little. That makes me feel sad. Like they're too young. They're too young. And also, I just thought I had more years of that.

I thought I had more years of Christmas feeling super Christmassy with my kids. I think you could be pretty manipulative here. I think you can bring her back. I think you can get her to come back. Marley's a genius. I disagree. i don't know she's pretty cluey six is you can 100 you got another year or so the problem is though is like now it's the unraveling right because if she knows she's going to tell her

sister at some point and now all of a sudden all the little kids in our household that make christmas fun because they believed in santa they don't believe anymore and it happened so quickly and i wasn't prepared for it and i think so much older i think i didn't really appreciate last year of the year before a couple of those years of christmas was during covid i don't think i really appreciated when we were in it just how special those years are going to be and how special they are because we're already exiting it before I even fucking realized and had time to process how short-lived this was so I guess that when I read this article about an idea of time sickness I was like I'm in it I'm like I'm missing this idea that my kids were so naive and innocent and

loving this idea of Santa Claus and now we're already fucking exiting something I didn't even have time to realise I was in. I want to read you this. This is by a woman named Marion Broshot. She's a Welsh language officer. It's like a proper example because this time sickness has a name and it has a definition. And we will butcher it.

It's a real thing. I'm going to butcher it because it's a Welsh. The Welsh have a completely made-up language. We should call Ellie. She speaks Welsh. So it's called H-I-R-A-E-T-H, Harath. I don't know. But I definitely butchered it.

But it's a kind of longing for a person, a place, or a time that you can't get back to, a kind of unattainable longing. And the example they give is, I am feeling high rough for Christmas in 1998, the warmth of your family home at that time, the Christmas decorations you made at school, the end of year school nonsense you would do as the year wound down, the Christmas carols you would go to, the street parties, the Christmas lights that were colorful and spiky, and if you stood on one, you would pray for death. it is that feeling of going back to a time of pure happiness where you feel safe and you don't

have anything to worry about and you still believe in the magic but for me I look at it in a little bit of a different way and Tanya did write this as well so I sort of had formulated this opinion before I read this paragraph of Tanya's but I do think that for me this is why I long for that time so she says she longs for a time where we had less stress where we had more family around where our lives weren't so complex, where our brain didn't feel like a hamster wheel of anxiety with 780 tabs open in our heads constantly. The intense mental load, the thinking right down to the last minute that we fall asleep and the second our eyes open again. For me, I think that's where this feeling of time sickness comes from. It's like, there's no more shocking, scary or humbling

moment when you realize you need an adult and you realize that you are the adult in the room. when you're like, oh, I'm coming to save you. Yeah. When you realize that, like, you look around for somebody that might be more experienced or smarter than you or more capable and someone to help you. And you realize that you're that person, like that feeling. I long for the time of like the decision fatigue is gone. The stress is gone. The, do I have to pay my water? Have I paid my gas? I haven't because Laura's paid it. Do I have to pay electricity, the kids, the everything, the rent, the, what am I going to do? The car payments. Have I paid that on time? Am I going to lose that I've got to get to work I've got to do these things that mental load as an adult it's

all day every day because we're just trying to survive like I long for a time not because I feel young and safe and happy I long for a time because I feel those things because these things don't exist my only question to that is and this is what I say by like your memory is an unreliable source is that I guarantee that when you were in that time there was something else that was a stressor yeah which really broke up with me yeah that's what I mean there was something else that occupied every second of your brain space that was causing you some sort of distress or whatever it was. I'm not saying distress, but you know what I mean? Like the things we worry about are always moving and changing at different phases of life. I don't think that you would ever,

if you were to plot back at that time in life, I don't think you would be as carefree as you remember yourself being. I think for me, it's more a nostalgia of like the time sickness. I'm very, very lucky. I'm 32 years old and I still have three out of four of my grandparents still alive. I'm 32. Still have three out of four of my grandparents still alive. And I feel like specifically talking about Christmas, I feel really nostalgic and time sick for a time where Christmas felt a little bit more like they were a bit younger. They weren't, you know, having increasing dementia or like, you know, they weren't as forgetful. And, and those moments were really special to me. And I was just thinking about it when you were saying about these stresses,

because that's the homesickness that I have. I have a bit of a homesickness, time sickness for like that time when they were really present and really like able to enjoy Christmas all together and my grandparents are just the best. And I was thinking about it and I was like, oh, I really miss that. You know, I would really love to be able to flash back to that. And then when, Laura, you said, you know, we just remember

these things in different ways, I remember being at those Christmas events and having to field the questions of why don't you have a boyfriend like you know what are you doing after uni and like it was a different set of questions it was a different kind of pressure from the family and so while I'm really nostalgic and time sick for those experiences my grandparents I'm also like oh that's right if I remember it completely accurately I still had negative feelings on that day the only thing I want to add to this is Christmas is kind of like and we've talked about it around birthdays it's one of those defining moments in the year which tell you that you are supposed to be happy yeah

And they tell you that you're supposed to celebrate it and they tell you that you're supposed to feel all these feelings of joy and magic and everything else. And if you find yourself not feeling that way, that can feel really confusing and it can feel even more like a personal letdown because everyone else is, you know, everyone else is talking about celebrating with their family or that is really going to sting if you're at a point where you don't have those things or maybe you've just gone through a bad breakup. Like, I understand that there are going to be a fuckload of people who walk into this

Christmas and there is a hole for whatever reason and that could be from losing a family member it could be from a grief and when I read this article from Tanya it really did remind me of like there are so many different feelings that people have at this time of year and a lot of them do circulate around missing something that was really important that used to be there in case you say about having elderly grandparents I feel like that about my grandparents who are no longer around and I think you know how much I wish that they were a part of my kids life but I do really feel for anyone who is going through that phase of life at the moment and is feeling like they are not where they wish they could be at this time of year that is okay as well and I want you to know that that is something

that so many people feel and also don't feel as though they can talk about it because it puts a dampener on everyone else's fucking Christmas spirit and those feelings can run concurrently we've spoken about that so many times over the years I have the best Christmases with my family like we've always spent them all of us and the kids and the extended family and we have a beautiful day but I was always really sad at the same time because I was the only one there that didn't have a partner and I felt like I wasn't sharing that intimate moment with somebody and every Christmas I would feel that and I'd be the person that gets the trundle bed at the end because like you know in the lounge room because you don't need a room or a bathroom you don't need the double bed because

you're not sharing it with someone so you can have the fold out yeah room just to really highlight that you're not and we don't have any pillows either because the couples have those to each But those feelings were concurrent. Like they ran side by side. I was immensely happy and full of love and joy and sad at the same time. And that's also completely okay. And I also think when we transition from kids to teenagers to adults to being in partnerships, this transition happens that you don't really take notice of.

But most people don't get the opportunity to spend Christmases with their families anymore for the reason of your family dynamic changes. And so when you think about growing up, every Christmas when you're a kid or a teenager, it's with your family into early adulthood. But when you start to create your own family or when you get married, it's pretty rare that like you and your partner's families both spend Christmas together. Most people alternate. And that comes with its own feelings of like every second year you don't get to be with your family and there's a hole there. And it just starts to look different as an adult. Do you know what I think about a lot is like for anyone who's gone through a divorce, like especially if this is your first Christmas where you've gone through a divorce

and you're having to split your family over the day like maybe maybe you do half day half day maybe it's like one person gets Christmas one person gets Christmas Eve like that is fucking if this is especially your first one that you're doing that is going to be such an incredibly hard time yeah to have to go from the version of it that you once had having to split time with your kids and it not looking the version that it did in the past I guess there's so many different versions of this. And one of the main take-homes is that Christmas, one of those defining moments in the year where you're told to feel a certain way. And it's kind of like a benchmark as to how the previous year leveled up. And it really highlights where you're at in life. And I think

that that's probably the main reason why there's so many conflicting feelings at this time of year, because it really does shine a spotlight on what's missing and also on what you've gained. It's time for Accidentally Unfiltered. Now this Accidentally Unfiltered, I don't know if it's an accidentally unfiltered or if it's more of a story arc oh great we'll come back to it next week we love a story arc there's no more story arcs unless you guys want to keep writing in about anal but it's a story arc off the back of the anal conversation that we did on ask uncut last week love it hey guys this relates to your recent ask uncut about the man that was having the anal tantrum so in case you missed that basically a very immature husband was having

a tantrum every time his wife said that no she would not in fact give him anal so this is off the back of that when you say give him anal it makes it sound like she wouldn't peg him but he wanted sorry he wanted to give her anal and she wasn't interested and when she says no he would throw a tantrum like a toddler like a loser okay so this is off the back of that i had this same situation years ago and reversed the question just like you suggested i said that if you want to do it to me i'm going to do it to you first because that was our advice and brilliant advice she put it into play he said fine we'll do it good on him good on him yeah that's how bad he wants it he's like do it fuck me in the ass so we used anal beads on him when he pulled them out they were

covered in poo and it was all over my bed so i stood up walked out and said well i'll leave you to clean that up wow okay i was expecting i was expecting more actually do you know what i'm gonna i'm gonna be honest brit i was expecting more from that i was expecting also you want you want the follow-up from her i wish i just think it well played that she not only took it to the point where she was like you know if you want enough i think it's not enough well i i think it's good there's the mess he's gone i'm gonna leave it to you it's what every man would do i agree but what i say it's not enough i wanted a strap on like i wanted more if you're the beads are a gentle entry the anal beads were too little like i wanted a like for like situation i don't think that's a

swap for swap it depends on the size i mean the beads how big are anal beads aren't they quite small i don't know i don't you tell me laura you're probably the most likely to use them am i oh they graduate so anal beads start off small it's like a babushka doll but on a rope yeah because it's supposed to be like an expander it's supposed to get you like you're supposed to use it small and then you put all of them in i think you i think you do i think it goes right up the colon wow guys we cannot have a sex and relationship podcast and you guys are discovering anal beads live on it have you used them I've never they are I've never looked at them I always thought that they were like the same I actually thought they were more bunched together and I

thought that they were the same size I didn't realize that they graduated in size and I would like to point out that there are some that are just the same size just for someone who wants to go in there with a lovely two centimeter diameter and just pop pop pop pop pop like marbles yeah they're like marbles but they're all connected on a chain so that you can pull them all out which makes perfect sense I'm not gonna lie I was thinking of a butt plug i was thinking something else all right let's get into our chain a chain of butt plugs our highs and our lows of the week uh britney what's your lows my suck very simple my suck i mentioned it before my fiddle leaf that i've spent 18 months bringing back to life that keisha killed has been murdered

sorry so many factually incorrect things it actually died while you were overseas last year so this christmas period on your watch because i didn't go to your house i forgot about it well i'm here and it came back to life a lot of details here i brought it back it's dead again i'm tossing up whether i just cut it off at the knees again and start again or if it goes in the bin i'm done with fiddle figs i'm done with how like emotionally unstable abusive yeah they're just so unreliable i'm done with them they love you they hate you yeah i had two they were flourishing they were beautiful and now they just look like big long weeds and i'm just done to be fair the one that I have in my house that I have like I barely touch I never move it it like stays in its home

is thriving I they just don't like change no so that is my suck and that you know now I'm going away for big lengths of time I'm just gonna have to get fake plants you already have a fake olive tree in the middle of your house that's why Laura that felt pointed it was pointed and actually the olive tree looks beautiful it does and very real every so often it needs to be dusted though so does my fiddle leave and it's live what is your sweet my sweet was our life uncut christmas party so we had a life uncut cross like times pick up radio show because we were all sort of dinner we work across the same things but we had like it was our christmas party it was just a lovely dinner and drinks but it was really nice because we all haven't been together outside of work in a very

long time so that was for sure my sweet we um yeah we're really bad for that we're such sticklers for being like we should do something and then just never do anything that's social because we get our social cut filled by sitting here and talking shit i think what's your suck ness is like i don't this isn't listening to me a fucking dinner all right my suck for the week is that speaking of like pickup and life on cart crossovers it was grace's 30th grace is our producer on the pickup it was grace's birthday on the weekend i couldn't go because lola for two days straight was running a she had like a 38 temperature and the only person that she wanted was me of course of course which is cute and i want to be wanted but i also wanted to go to a birthday party you

You don't want to be wanted when there's like a 30th though. Like you want to be wanted on other days. No. Like work days. I know. And also, like I said, there's been so many, there's been so many things on in the last couple of weeks. There's been like work dinners on and it's just been a busy, busy time.

And I feel like I've had Poppy strapped to me and I've taken her everywhere. But Lola, she just needs more of me, you know? And so like when she was sick, she was like, I don't want dad. I want only you. And so we sat on the couch and watched back-to-back movie marathons, which was cute. Actually sounds wonderful. But I missed Grace's birthday, so that really sucked. But then my sweet for the week is, and I know it sounds so silly,

but Lola's had her last day of daycare, so they had their school graduation. They have their, like, daycare graduation. It's so fucking cute. I did see the photos. And they all get their little hats and they get their – how did you see the photos? I work every day with your husband on radio. Did he show you? Yeah, I see your husband more than you now.

That's so cute. So they wear their little hats and they have their little capes and they sung their little boundary body song that I told you guys about, but it was really, really sweet. and yeah she's just so proud of herself and she's so ready for school and she had her orientation for big school where it's tricky because like she is a little bit younger and i was worried that she was going to that kid is going to be just fine yeah i thought she was going to find it a bit hard and and i picked her up from her orientation and the teacher was like

she is so ready she is so fine so that's my sweet it's you know coming to the it's it's like the cute little end of year things that we're doing at the moment yeah lola's just she's a rock star I love her. I'm obsessed with her. Anyway, guys, that's it from us. If you have anything that you want to add, join in the conversation. You can join the discussion at Life Uncut Discussion Group, which is on Facebook, or follow us on Instagram,

or watch the episodes on YouTube. There are so many ways that you can connect with the podcast. And remember, tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends, and share the love because we love love. We'll be right back.