Life Uncut - The Best Of The Pick Up - A Testy Was Sacrificed To The Trampoline

Episode Date: December 5, 2025

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camarago land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany. My name is Laura. That is Manny J. Laura would be so offended by that. It does sound a bit like Laura, don't you think? No, absolutely not. This is our pickup podcast. This is our radio show. We do it all week and then we package it up for you in one little spot. Can I ask you a question about Ben, Brittany?

my beautiful beautiful big manly swiss husband yeah that's the one do you guys do you fart in front of each other no we yeah we don't why not talk to me through that you know i reckon it's like a in my family growing up it was like the height of rudeness like that is as kids that what's what we were taught by mom and dad mom and dad have never we wouldn't even fart was like a swear word in my family so we had to use whiz pop or pop off because fart was you couldn't say the word fart no because fart was my mom had said it was too crude so that and that was because that's how my mom was brought up you guys are from where are you port stevens port macquarie but what does that mean well just like you know not to like have a dig at people yeah what does

that mean but you're like regional australia well mom and dad grew up in sydney then we moved to the to port macquarie i was gonna say to the country there we go they're sydney yeah sydney people don't allow farts in the family. And so I'm not a farter and I don't – Ben has never farted in front of me. Not once. Accidental. No, but I have done whiz pops in front of him before. But only when –

Like little rogue ones? Yeah, only like not even intentionally, like accidentally. I would be mortified. I just – I don't like it and I also don't want to sit there and have my partner just letting them rip because I'm just not attracted to it. And I know that I'm a minority. What happens if, like, you're in bed, you lay down, you relax. As you relax, as you're about to drift off to sleep,

the body, as it relaxes, wants to let out a little toot. What do you do? If you're still conscious, you need to get up and leave the room. What? I'm getting such a dirty look. Oh, my God. But once you're asleep, it's free reign. Like, you can do whatever you want.

Do you think down the line at some point it will happen that you'll cross over into fart territory? No. Never? If it's an occasional thing and it's like you're feeling unwell, you have IBS. I'm just not a father. I'm not a father.

When you're pregnant, you become so gassy. Yeah, I think that's different. But like in my general day-to-day, it's something that we set. But Ben also doesn't want to fight in front of me and he doesn't want me to fight in front of him. I've been fighting all day in this chair. We all know, Matt. It's an enclosed room.

We can smell it. Oops. Sorry about that. No, you're not sorry. No, I don't care. I don't care. Have a whiff, get it in you. But why were you so interested in mine and Ben's farting habits?

I just find it really interesting that some couples don't do that. And I'm like, but you're going to have sex. Like you're going to like be in each other. Because sex is intimate and sexy and there is nothing sexy about lifting a leg and like that's just not hot. I just think who cares? Life's too short to leave the room. Producer Grace?

No, you can tell by the look on her face she's a farter. She's been giving me dirty looks the whole time. No, I just think there's a certain level of comfort around your partner. Thank you. Yeah, but it's not that I'm not comfortable. It's that I want to stay turned on by him and attracted by him. I don't want to smell his protein farts that he's had all day. My wife and I have actually recently, since we've gotten married,

introduced what we call the romance door, which is when we close the door when we're doing a number two. Wow, it's really elevating. And they say romance is dead. I like that. I like that a lot. So you say, hey, I'm closing the romance door so everyone knows you're doing a shit.

Yep. Because Laura's crept into that kind of territory where she'd need to brush her teeth and I'm like, oh, I'm doing a number two and she's like, I don't care. And I'm like, ah. No, I see too far. That is too far. Taking a poopy.

Nah, we're there now. I think we tried to get out but we're like in the deep abyss of just married life. That's what we do now. That's who we are. Married life doesn't have to mean that. Married life is what you create. You're happy.

How many times do you have sex? I know the truth. Laura told me. I can't remember. Hey, it will be sad for our little showmance to come to an end, Matt. Will it? I'm sorry. It will be very disappointing.

I'll be very upset. There'll be a level of mourning once it ends. Yeah, I'll miss my macarons. Your macarons. But this was a great week. Great week. My highlight was actually inviting my podcast husband onto the show. Ash, we had the Ask Uncut question.

He's got a dilemma about Secret Santa's, which. Wasn't so much of a dilemma really, was it? What would you call it? I just think he was being lazy. I think deep down he knew the answer. He knew you'd try and side with him because you're besties. But also because it's the way he was brought up. He's been conditioned to be like this, Brie.

That was pretty intense. He just said he grew up never even having a Christmas tree. And you said nothing. No, I did. I just didn't have time to unpack his trauma. It was too quick. We were like, sorry, it's radio. Got to be quick.

Bye. Yeah, we did explain a lot. I stumbled across a couple of articles this week that I think are really good for people that might be going through something in the future, like divorces. Why are you looking at me? Or no, yeah, no, back for you. But breakups.

But it's people that are starting to celebrate the darker times. You know one thing we didn't talk about, Matt? There was one thing, story going around a little while ago, about a lady that unfortunately knew she was dying. Like she had an illness that was going to kill her. and she threw her funeral while she was alive because she's like, why should I miss out on the party? And so I thought that was really cool.

Like she just had a party that was almost like a farewell party but she wanted to be there. I love that. I love that. If I have the opportunity to say goodbye to people, I will do that. I thought you were going to tell me about what you wanted when you were dead then. Remember how I said I wanted if I died to be cremated

and put into fireworks and put into the sky? How could I forget? So many good conversations, Brittany. Brittany, these are the type of conversations I will miss. I knew it. At the end of the year. Let's get into the show. Matty J, you have been well and truly sucked into the Big Brother vortex,

haven't you? I'm hooked. In my defence, do you know who's really hooked in my household? Your mum. My mum. I knew you'd say that. Ellie loves reality TV. My mum yesterday morning was like, turn it on.

It's Big Brother. The eviction's about to happen. It was eviction day. Now, I was driving five hours on the highway. I didn't get to watch it. But I know you did and you have some thoughts. I know. It was a big episode.

And we actually have the Evictee on the line. She's being billed as one of the best-looking housemates we have ever had in the history of Big Brother. She was involved in so much drama. There was love. There was arguments. It is Holly. Welcome.

Hi. If you're going to get anything coming out of one of these shows, it's like the best-looking. Oh, guys. At this point, I'm just happy to be here. How are you feeling? What's it been, 12, 13? No, God, I can't do the math.

It's been less than a day and more. Yeah, don't ask me to do the math either. Wow, what an amazing experience to be a part of. It's just intense, really, like from start to finish. However, I'm so grateful for the experience. And you know what I didn't anticipate, Holly? Such a beautiful love story. I've got to ask, the letter.

It was a covert operation. Did you write the letter? in the toilet? Is that what happened to Colin? I can't give away my tricks, but I did sacrifice a lip liner in the process. That is love. That's love.

As you know, that there's no pens allowed in the Big Brother house or paper. However, Colin and I did save a couple of the questions that were sent in by the viewers at home that were in relation to us. and we sort of had that kept in the bedside tables. What did the letter say? Tell me.

I'm, like, chomping to know. Guys, it's personal. Did you drop the L-bomb in the letter? Potentially. Oh! Oh, she did. Hey, Holly, I honestly hand on heart. I love the love story between you and Colin.

There was one video, and I don't know if you've seen it. It was posted online, and I had to defend you and Colin because the video is it's you guys sitting outside you're side by side it looks like you look at the camera and then pull Colin in close for a cuddle whilst making eye contact with the camera do you remember that scene have you seen the footage um I haven't seen the footage but I can say the thing is like you do forget that there's cameras everywhere so like I probably was like zoning out not even realizing that the camera was there because literally there's cameras everywhere. Like I probably just wanted a hug. Are you guys going to stay seeing each other when

Colin leaves the house? Yeah, we have a little plan and we're intending on sticking to it. What is the plan? Guys, we need to have some level of privacy. No, you don't. You're a big brother. That's what I'm saying. We've just been on national TV for the last three weeks. You guys we'll see it all. Like stay tuned, get excited. It's all good. We're both really excited. We've got our first date night lined up. We're going to go to Luna Park in Sydney. We're very lucky that we both live in the same state. Is he your favorite to win the show? Of course. I might be biased, I might not be biased, but I think Connor is also definitely a very intelligent individual and he really, he's a walking encyclopedia. So I feel like,

you know, Colin has a lot of support. They all do. And it's going to get very intense now because I feel like there's no distractions. If you could have changed anything at all on the show with your time there, what would it have been? Not a lot. I feel like I learned so much, even though I may have, you know, put my hand in the fire unintentionally a few times that resulted in a huge amount of personal growth and you can't put a price on that. So the fact that, you know, I didn't win, that's totally fine because the lessons that I've learned and, you know, being able to co-share, to co-live, I have not done that in a very long time with such big personalities from all different walks of life to be able to recognize that,

you know what, that actually, you know, maybe take that into consideration next time, HY. And well, look, we can't wait to see what happens after the show, where Colin sits, does the relationship blossom, does it fizzle? We're all here for it, but well done for surviving the Big Brother house, Holly. Thank you. It was a very big task that I was probably underqualified for, but we gave it a crack. You did well. So good luck in the future. I'm sure we're going to see you around. Thank you. See ya. Bye, dude. I had the TikTok Awards, Brittany. And for those of you who may not know that there were even a

TikTok Awards on, it was in its fifth year. And it is a celebration of the best creators on TikTok across 14 categories. It's like the Logies, but for TikTok. But you weren't there as a, like, creator, viewer, spectator. You had a very important job. Well, I was there with Stan and maybe like a week leading up to the event, I got a call from TikTok. And I answered the call and they said, look,

we would like you to be involved in the actual awards show. I was doing some stuff outside. Is TikTok calling you like big brother? Like who's the person that calls? His name's John. Okay. He's a real person. He's lovely.

Really nice. Very friendly. And he called me and said, we'd like you to be involved in the awards. And I was like, oh, my God, maybe I'm going to present like an award maybe. Yeah. I'm involved in the show. Host with Sophie. Sophie Monk was hosting.

Maybe she needs someone to bounce off. And so they said, we need someone before the award show starts to come out on stage and to then get them to then move into the middle seats, like move down from the back. Oh, my God. That was you? And I was like, but he said it in a way which was like, what an honour. What an honour to be there, to move people in their seats.

And I was like, do you know what, John? I am your guy. I'll do it. And I said to Laura, I'm like, you're never going to believe it. I'm like, the guy. So you weren't even the crowd warm-up. Your job wasn't to warm people up for like Sophie and the Hoes. It was just to get people in their seat.

You're an usher. I was like an on-stage usher. Correct. Yeah. It was a role that I was glad to take. Turns out people don't want to move in their seats once they sit down. It was hard going. I feel uncomfortable.

I was struggling. I think I managed to move one person only because I came off the stage and I grabbed him by the collar and I got him to move seats. So hang on, one person moved in your whole shtick of trying to get people to move in. My success rate wasn't good. So I got one of 5,000 were able to be moved. And then I looked to my right to be like, well, I guess, you know,

I was told it was going to be five minutes. And then he said, I need five more minutes. No, he did not. So then there's a big clock that was a countdown clock. So I looked and there's five more minutes remaining and I was like, oh, what do I do? And I did have in my housekeeping notes, I had a note to say. How to stand up comedy act.

Something about the toilets and something about the bar. And so I was thinking, well, how can I, I've got two things to talk about. How can I fill in five whole minutes in front of 5,000 people at the awards? Well, I do remember this because last week before the awards, you were running some of the jokes by us, Producer Grace and myself, and asking what you should and shouldn't do. And I clearly remember we vetoed 99% of it.

What? Okay, I did have a couple of jokes in my back pocket. Producer Grace, thoughts? On the jokes? Well, I don't... No, the fact that we vetoed it. No, I remember you guys said yes. I don't think we said yes.

I think we said if you've got nothing else, potentially. And I had. We said as a last resort. I guess it was. There was an extra five minutes on the clock. I was up on stage. Okay, now I said a joke which I thought went pretty well. After the event, I jump on TikTok, I see a video

and this is what the video says. I feel like it was quite a tacky event. The host started with, who's done a shit tonight? Let's give a round of applause for the toilets. Which I'm assuming is you, so you didn't listen to us. For the record. And she even says on screen, it wasn't Sophie Monk. It was the host before.

So you didn't even get a name. It was just the host before. That's a good thing. She didn't know your name. So I said, if you have gone to the toilet and done a SHIT, make some noise. Did anyone make a noise? One person did.

The person you made move? Is it me? Am I the problem or is it the kids on TikTok? When you said that, did anybody cheer or react or was it like, was it your worst nightmare where it's just silence? A lot of people were talking. There was a lot of shh. One person made some noise and I said, that's the spirit.

Good on you. Will there be a second? Which the response to that was no noise. And so then I thought, I'll start talking about the bar. Did that go any better? Not really because the bar was closed. What have you learned from it? Maybe is it to listen to Producer Grace and myself

when you run the jokes by us? I think you've got to pick your audience and it's evident to me that wasn't my audience. My audience is out there. There are people out there who find those jokes funny. It just wasn't the right crowd. There's also, I'm sorry, there's nothing worse than when you've been told what you do, you've got the timeframe to do it,

you know what you can deliver in that time and then they spring on you that you've got to double what you've done. Thank you. And off the cuff. It's like cooking a meal for five people and then five minutes before the meal is ready someone says, actually, there's 10 people. That's what I was dealing with. Yeah, that's tough.

Has it put you off? Not at all. I will continue my poo jokes because I think, Brittany, if you can't laugh about poo, what can you laugh about? You know what your problem is? It's not that people can't laugh about poo. In a room of 5,000 people that's been live streamed, no one wants to put their hand up and say, yeah, I just shit.

That's the problem is no one wants to admit to it. One person did message me and they said, I actually did go to the toilet. I was too embarrassed to say anything. Thanks for the support, buddy. I could have done with you out there. All you have to do is tell us your chaotic Christmas moment. Let's go to Danielle.

Hey, Danielle, what is your chaotic Christmas moment? Last Christmas, we got a huge trampoline for the kids. My husband thought he'd put it together for us. I was working and he didn't have the safety mats on and he thought he'd test the trampoline out, ended up getting stuck one leg either side. Oh, no. Yes, and ended up getting his private stuck.

In what, the spring? Yes. He had to go to hospital. He ended up losing one of his balls. Oh, my God. Danielle, this took a turn. I thought this was supposed to be like he just bounced off the trampoline. He lost a testicle to the trampoline?

Yes. and he had to have stitches. He was in hospital for a few days. Did the kids still get the trampoline? We sort of put it off for a few days as hubby was in hospital. Out of respect. Yes, and then I made sure the safety mats were on before the kids got to jump on it at Christmastime.

I think this is a really important PSA to anyone out there thinking about trampolines for Christmas. You've got to put down the safety mats. Do you know? Definitely. Is it like, I'm sorry for praying, I've just never heard a story like this. Could he not get up and it was stuck in the trampoline? Yeah, how did he get out?

We had to ring the ambulance and the fire brigade. So we did have a few people there. But the fireys ended up getting him out and then, yeah, the ambulance was there at the same time. It was like a rock off between the fireys and the ambulance. Who has to get out? Who has to get this testicle out of the spring? It's literally the real life something about Mary.

I've never heard of this before. But also credit, credit to your husband. And tell me if this is not the case. Did he build that by himself? He did. He did. So he done very well. He's trying to get it all done while I was at work.

Well, you can go and tell him that you've won $1,000 to spend at IGA. Thank you so much today, guys. That'll make it all worthwhile. I'll make sure he stays away from the trampoline. Thank you. That story just took a turn. I did not see gumming. Merry Christmas.

Wow. Merry Christmas, guys. Thank you so much. See you. A few weeks ago, you might remember, I had a little complaint, a little like rage about how I felt like shows on streamers and movies now were just, I felt like they were being dumbed down and I couldn't put my finger on it.

I complained that it's like the writing was terrible, you always get to the end and it's like they've run out of time and they just throw and slap an ending together. I want to say I remember this. You don't. You don't really listen to me, do you? No, that's not true at all. I'm always listening.

I don't remember this particular conversation, but is this something that you stand by? It is something I stand by. I don't know. I feel like it's a hard conversation to have unless you understand. Producer Grace, have you noticed like shows just seem to be not as in-depth or you don't have to pay enough attention? You don't have to pay as much attention to them.

Yeah, I've noticed there's a few shows, but I thought that was maybe just the calibre of show I was choosing to watch. Yeah. Okay. Well, whatever. I've noticed it. But I want to tell you this because it has just come out that this is really a thing. So Netflix writers have admitted that they have been given the instructions now to actively create shows that will appeal to people that don't know how to put their phones down. So basically now it has been taken into consideration that we live in a world where gone are the days of somebody going and saying, hey, let's have a movie night, sitting down with their popcorn, no phone,

and just watching and locking into a movie. Like think of the last time, Matt, that you sat down and locked into a movie without having your phone even in the room. Like is that even a thing? Yeah, I'm pretty bad. My mum who lives with us, she loves a little movie night and I do like a little like, you know. Phone scroll.

Little scroll. But I think, I actually think them dumbing it down is part of the problem. But they have to. No, because when you're making it like really dumb, then you can kind of easily zone out. So I feel like if it's a complicated storyline, you need to stay locked in and you're engaged in the show. But when you dumb it down, it just, you know, it means that you're not fussed about jumping off and going for a five minute scroll on TikTok.

Well, that's interesting because you're sort of having the conversation of what came first, the chicken or the egg. You're saying that, oh, if they want to keep our attention, make it better. But they're saying we have to dumb it down because we've already lost their attention. They're enabling me. Oh. They're enabling me and it's their fault. Well, it's because of the likes of TikTok and stuff.

Our attention span is now, I think it's something like 3.3 seconds. What's the, Producer Grace, you'll know this answer. What is the movie, Inception? Yep. That's true. I looked at you. That's how smart you are. I looked at you and I got the answer.

You got us through your brain. Thank you, Producer Grace. You're welcome. Okay, Inception. Have you seen it, Britt? Yeah. Complicated storyline. Yes.

I will watch that movie and I will lock in. I know that I have to. But it's because you watched it before the first time, before we were in this like attention. Shutter Island, Shutter Island guys. Again, like 20 years old. So that's actually it's 30 years old. But that's the thing.

If you give people slop. Well, this is, and I don't know if you've noticed this, it's so annoying to me. So they've been, writers have been told that they have to announce what they're doing in the writing. So what I mean by that is it's so that when you, someone's watching the TV but they're also cooking at the same time and they're on TikTok, that they can just hear it and know.

So now I don't know if you've noticed like the characters are like rehashing what they've done. So they'll be like, Matt, we had such a great date in the park yesterday at 10am when that guy rode past on the bike and stole our phone. And they have to, in their dialogue, they're recapping the whole thing and it's frustrating. Again, enabling, very enabling behaviour. I hate it.

And what it means is I think writers are leaving in mass exodus too because they're like, this is a reflection of my work and it's terrible. Actually, do you know what I think the big problem is here? I think Brittany's too smart. Yeah, I'd double down on that. Let's stick with that. Let's tell Wall Street Journal that.

You need to get dumber, Brittany. Okay, I'll get dumber. Come on, get down to our level. I know there are people listening right now that know exactly what I'm talking about and I think we need to sharpen up. Put your TikToks down. Put your phones down. Next time you watch a movie, honestly, leave your phone in the other room

or just out of reach, a couple of metres away, so you can't like just subconsciously pick it up. All right, Mum. No, I'm going to test you all to do it. Matt, you too. I know you're going to have a movie night this weekend. Put your phone down and engage with your mum. I promise I will.

Okay. Brittany, you're going to find this article very interesting. Can I read you the headline? Okay. Okay. Guest irritated after finding out friend's big splashy wedding with expensive gift registry wasn't actually a legal ceremony. Who does that remind you of?

I'm going to assume you want me to say me. I don't think that reminds me of me. I had a big splashy wedding, but I didn't have a big splashy gift registry, but my wedding wasn't legal. I don't think I gave – no, we did. Laura gave you the rings. That's right. I don't think I gave you a gift.

No, you guys didn't give a gift as such on the day, but you Laura designed and made and gave me my ring yes absolutely which was like the most incredible gift shout out to my wife Laura and Tony May I didn't know though that your wedding I did think it was a little bit strange because can I just remind people if they're not familiar with how things unfolded there was a joke that was made about you didn't have a celebrant or they couldn't get a flight and so your dad had to step in last second yeah I mean that was always planned so the giveaway should have been that my dad did officiate my wedding and my dad is not a celebrant my dad is a builder so my wedding by all accounts it was in Bali it was big it was

beautiful it was seemed like a proper wedding but it and it was but it wasn't legal but we treated it like it was legal but we didn't have a gift registry I would never do a gift registry but there was like if anyone wanted to leave something of course they could have but Maddie J what is this woman mad about just the fact that they pretended it was a wedding but they didn't officially sign something look pretty much i'm gonna read you the quote here and it says rationally i know it makes no difference to my life whether they are legally married or not but i still feel sort of duped and you know what britney hockley you feel duped too i feel a little bit duped here i was tears in my eyes at you and ben tying the knot and actually it wasn't a wedding

at all. It was a wedding. It was just a fancy little get-together with people dressed in formal attire and you in a wedding dress. Sorry, three wedding dresses. I did. I was thinking to myself, oh, you didn't have the moment of I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Yes, we did. Oh, did you? Oh, God. We did that. Producer Grace, you were there. Did that happen? It's still a wedding. Yeah, that was like the main part of the wedding when they kissed

and whatnot. Yeah, that was like still a wedding. Okay, well, actually. Hang on. What is the sound of it? No, no, no, no. Hang on, because we've been, Producer Grace, we have been taken advantage of.

Let's call a spade a spade. Brittany conned, conned everyone in attendance. I'm pretty sure that was a headline actually. I think it was. I was going to say, I then went to the legal wedding the next week. So I was like, this is fine. I reckon Matty's off it because he didn't come to the legal wedding. Because we did lock it down a week later.

Like it is legitimate. We are legitimately married. and we didn't try and trick people. Did you receive any backlash from any guests after they found out that you weren't? No. No? Okay.

Absolutely not because it wasn't a party with randoms. It was all my family and friends. No one's going to have backlash. Well, just so I'm not like the only one here being outraged, Producer Grace, can I ask, as you were in attendance, knowing that it was an illegal ceremony, did you in any way feel taken advantage of? The fact that you paid all that money to fly to Bali,

have a beautiful dress. You look great, by the way. Thank you. Careful, Grace, because I am paying for the Christmas party tonight. I was just happy to be there. That is what a true friend would say. So, Maddie J., I'm so glad you didn't make it to my legal wedding. I was busy.

Maddie J. is still with us. Gosh, I say that like you're going to pass away, don't I? He's holding on by a thread. He's terminal. It's not long now. Well, it's not long. A couple of weeks, hey? I think, yeah.

Not to, like, bring the mood down. Less than two weeks. just to manage expectations because people may tune in and go, hang on a second, where has he gone? I am healthy. I'm happy. Do we need to have a party to celebrate that you're leaving? Oh, that's a very good question.

I think we should. It would be remiss of us not to have some type of an occasion to celebrate. Well, this is going to bring me into exactly what I want to talk about. There is an influencer, and I don't know if you've seen her online. She's a Melbourne influencer. Her name is Adele Petropoulos and she's going viral at the moment for celebrating her wedding day because there's a picture of her, she's holding up a white cake, she's with all her friends,

but on the cake is written, cheetahs don't get cake. She looks very happy considering she's someone who's recently split. The wedding's not going ahead. Well, so she didn't say a lot. That was all she did was say celebrating her wedding and the cake says cheetahs don't get cake. So she's obviously found out her partner has cheated on her. She's been like, stuff you, there's no way I'm marrying you,

but you can't cancel wedding days and get your money back. So she's had the date still and just thrown like a celebration party. I think this is a great approach. So good. As I've always said, you know me, I've said this quite often, at least once a day, when life gives you lemons. Eat cake. Well, there it is.

Write it down, put it on a shirt. But I think it's great because you could be sitting there all glum by yourself at home being like, this should be the best day of my life. And do you know what? I'm going to have a party. I'm going to celebrate. I celebrate a very special occasion, which some people say could be sad. But for me, I want to hero it.

What is it? It's when I got the snip. You haven't got the snip. Oh, you want to. I got the snip. Did you get the snip? The down, the, can I say circumcised? Is that allowed?

Sorry, I thought you meant vasectomy. And I was like, wow, you snuck that in. No, it was Feb 13, Feb 13. Didn't you get an adult circumcision? I was grade one. So I celebrate that every year, Feb 13. It's a special occasion. Yep.

And why did you get it so old? I was born, how do you say this medically, too much foreskin. What? I don't know. Like a hood? That is the medical term. Like a little red riding hood. The hood of my jumper was too big.

Okay, well, that was a segue. Let's take it back to the story of like celebrating these moments. I love that you celebrate that though, Matt. Psychologist Amanda Ferguson says that it is actually really important to celebrate milestones in life but not just the good ones and the bad ones. And there's been a real trend in divorce parties. I don't know if you've seen that. People are trying to turn the tables.

Like they're like, I'm not sad that I'm divorcing. Like let's celebrate this. Whenever I think of the word divorce, I think of that image of Nicole Kidman And I don't know if that's real, but it's when she's skipping down the road, she's just divorced from Tom Cruise and she just has pure elation on her face. I reckon that was probably a scene out of a movie that they've taken and click baited it and said that that was like after she just signed the divorce papers. I want to believe it's real because that must feel so good

when you can just relinquish the shackles. You're free. I don't have anything sad that I celebrate actually. I know producer Grace's parents that want to have a divorce party. Yeah, they're still technically married. They've been separated for 15 years. They haven't gotten around to doing the paperwork, but they plan on having a divorce party when it happens.

Do you think there's like a limit on like how long you should be separated for when you get your divorce? Well, you know, it costs like $1,500 or something to get divorced. It's a lot of money. Does it? Yeah, they're like, well, it's not really affecting our lives in any way whatsoever. They had a very amicable split obviously.

Well, I mean evidently if they're still friends 15 years later. Yeah. it is thursday which means it's time for the one and only ask uncut i love ask uncut and brit you know since i've started doing this radio show i get so many people coming up to me in the street just going thank you thank you for all the wisdom that you offer the people on your show oprah they call me that's what i'm like i'm just gonna stop you right there because no one's ever said that to you because your advice to date has always been quite controversial friends of mine have always come to me with their problems. That's just the type of person that I am. I'm very open and

very warm. I'm always keen to listen. And one friend in particular came to me and I had to stop him. I said, wait, whoa, whoa. I was like, how would you feel about talking about this on the radio show? And he said, sure. This is a voice, Brittany. You may know him. You have met him before. Wait, you've sourced our Ask Uncut this week? Yeah. He's been there marinating for a few days now. I said, you've got to wait until Thursday. I can't help you until Thursday. It's a Tuesday. Just hold your horses. But his name is Ash Wicks. We do a podcast called Two Dating Dads and here he is. Oh, hi, Ash. Hello, guys. How are you? Are you actually experiencing some problems? And is Matt really the first person you go

to? Oh, absolutely. He is the voice of reason. So I feel very privileged to be on the show this afternoon because everyone's got a lot of questions around this time of year. And I'm so thankful that Matt said to me, don't ask me any questions until I get you on the radio. On national radio. Okay. So what's, what is your problem? I'm going to call it a gripe. Okay. It's a problem. It's a gripe. Okay. So every year, my beautiful wife, April, her family do a secret Santa. But this year I asked the question whether I can be not involved or whether I have a choice to be involved or it's just mandatory because I'm narrow to earth that's my dilemma yeah okay your question is just do you have to do the

Kris Kringle do I have to do it I do it every year I've had enough okay can I ask Ash how does it normally unfold like what time of the day do they say now it's time for Secret Santa it varies from year to year because as we know like you know there's more than one family involved in in in this so it's like do we have Christmas lunch there Christmas breakfast Christmas dinner I don't know. But it usually happens, I would say, after the food, but before the sweet treat. So can I just confirm the logistics here, Ash? So regardless of if you are involved in the Secret Santa, you're there anyway. So you're not saying like, hey, I don't want to go to the Christmas. Like, are you all there anyway? You're just saying, I just don't want to contribute the

present and I don't want to get one. Is that right? I'm there, but I'm protesting. Mate, you are being a grinch. Sorry. Hang on. Hang on, Brittany, just before you start attacking our guest, Ash. I apologize for that. Well, he's also our friend. She gets very aggressive when we do this segment. So just be mindful of that. I kind of like that.

Can I ask, Ash, before we make our final call, what is the ballpark price that you have to work within the budget for the gift? Look, it's usually $100. What? Sorry, but what that means is you're only buying one. You're actually saving money. You don't have to buy 10 people's presents.

And Jeff, by eight people is how many people it is. It's Ash. You're already there. It's one day of the year. Just get involved. Get involved so the kids can see it's all merry and happy. It's not a big deal. But it's all very awkward.

Why is it awkward? I don't know. Look, I've always found Christmas very awkward. But no one knows it's you because it's a secret. So no one knows that if your present was awkward. But is it, Britt? Is it a secret? I feel like by the time you get to the Christmas day,

Everyone already knows who has who in a small family. Why can't we just get together, have a meal, celebrate the day and move on with our lives? Look, ideally, that could be great, but the rest of the family has committed to the Kris Kringle. Can I ask a question just to everyone right now? Yourself, Brittany, Ash, you're included in this. Does anyone out there actually enjoy Secret Santa?

Yes. Okay, all right. And Producer Grace is not in. Well, we know you don't, Grinchy, but Producer Grace is not in as well. Ash, just know this, I will be down the coast and if you would like to spend the day with me and my family, you're more than welcome. We will not do secret Santa, the invitation is there. Guys, it's once a year.

Oh, thank goodness. It's once a year, get involved, put your little Santa hat on. If you're just being lazy, Ash, get a voucher, you can get them online. I'm not being lazy at all. I'll have you know it, that as a child, we did not have a Christmas tree in my house. Well, that's more reason for you to get involved. No, I'm very set in my ways. I have endured it for 14 long years now

and on this 15th year I would like to say I don't want to be involved but apparently I don't have a choice and so your wife has said literally like use it or lose it she's like you're in it yeah the repercussions aren't worth the fight I would say

but I still I'm stubborn and I want to try and stand my ground in some capacity I love that it's a fight you're not going to win so I pray for you Ash you stay strong buddy I'm in your corner I'm cheering you on

guys Thank you, Maddie. I can always rely on you to be by my side. All right. Someone hang up on Ash, please. We love you, Ash. Bye-bye, Ash. See you guys.

Bye-bye. I just think get involved. It's one day a year. It's not a big deal. It makes it feel a bit special. Yeah, I know. I just wanted to just like send him down that road to see if he'd do it. He will do it.

I reckon he's going to turn up with no present. I reckon he will. He listens to everything I say. That's the great thing about Ash. It's concerning. We'll be right back.