Life Uncut - The Best Of The Pick Up - Are We Siding With Pauline Hanson On This?

Episode Date: October 17, 2025

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Fun Cut. I am Brittany. My name is Matty J. Do you think people are enjoying me being here? No one said anything. I'm waiting for someone to tap me on the shoulder and say, hey, it's been really fun, but I've had nothing.

I've been fielding the results. What do we got? What's the feedback? No, the feedback has been good. If you're just joining us today, this is our radio show. So we package up the best of our radio show Monday to Friday through the week. We give it to here in one little spot. Laura is off on maternity leave. And do you know what I figured out?

I can't say maternity leave. Look, I – The two – I can't say it. Every time I say it, it runs together. I've noticed you've stopped saying it when you're like, Laura's not here because she's away right now. Why? Do you know it's – you got this, Matt.

You got Invisalign, right? I've actually had these little nibs for six years. You need to take them off. Because I didn't pay the bills. But you can go to another dentist to get them taken off. I'll do it. It's on my to-do list. But I got Invisalign years ago.

Great teeth, by the way. Thank you. When you get Invisalign at the end, you can either, like, wear a mouth guard or you can get the bar that's, like, put on the back of your teeth. Yes. What do you have? So I got that. The bar.

And it changed the way I spoke. So I couldn't enunciate the same way as I used to. And there are some things that my tongue, like, must hit the back of it. And maternity, like the – maternity, maternity. I can't say anesthetist. Anise. Anise. Anise.

Yeah, it's very hard. It's very hard. But also, come on, help a guy out. Give me some feedback. I'm needy, Britt. I need something. But also, I do want to say, before we get into the show, I just want to honestly, hand on heart, sit here and just say

that you're doing a really good job. Thank you. Are you talking to me, Producer Grace? You're doing well, Britt. I'm just – the whole team right now, I'm just – wow. Laura is so lucky to work with such a talented mix of individuals. But? Is there a but?

No. Grace, you want to say something about me? Thank you so much. You've been a joy and a delight. I sound like such a needy fuck, don't I? Jesus. You, in all honesty, it's been very easy. Some people it's not natural for, but you're a natural talker and you get it.

And it definitely helps that we know each other. If somebody just got planted in here and they're like, hey, do a radio show with them and you have no connection, no history, no commonality. It's really hard. I think I've spent more time with Brit in the last couple of weeks than I have in the last two years. That's 100% accurate. And for the last two years, your wife Laura has spent more time with me

than she has with you. I know. What the? It's the universe flipped. It is. Yeah. But why am I always the one that, I want to spend time with other people. Why am I stuck with you two? Let's unpack this on another episode. But this show, I love birth stories. If there is one thing I like doing when I meet someone who's

a parent, I'm straight away like, give me the gospel. happened. Birth story hit me. But we've got some wild and unforgettable birth stories. Not just one that I heard when Poppy was born, but also from the listeners. You need to speak to my sister, Sherry. She has a crazy birth story. I know, I know. I don't know. Remind me to call her after this. You don't have to call her. It's a bit extreme. But like next time we're all at dinner or something. I was just being polite. I wasn't actually going to call her. I was just, you know, in the moment I was like, yeah, I'll reach out. You got her on speed dial. Yeah. Yeah. No, okay. You know what? I'll just, I'll give you a little hint now. So basically she was five weeks

early she was over in scotland and she just got like a little uncomfortable a little pain so they were like and sherry has really high blood pressure so they did have to monitor the blood pressure throughout a pregnancy so she thought i'm going to do the right thing and i'll just go and get the blood pressure checked so she goes in and they look at her they do all the tests they check to see like downstairs if there's dilation or whatever and they're like you're fine like what are you here for she goes i just feel weird like something's happening they're like look you do I have high blood pressure. We're going to monitor you.

So Sherry called me and she said – she FaceTimed me and I was on the way to work. And she said, hey, just keeping you posted. I'm in the hospital. Not in labour. Nothing's wrong. I just – they're checking my blood pressure. Yeah, sure.

They're not going to release me until the pressure is down. So I'm going to probably be here a couple of hours. And I was like, okay, cool. Keep me posted. So then she starts to feel big pains in her tummy and she calls the nurse over and she's like, I'm sorry. This is a bit weird. Something's escalating

But also when it's your first Like you just don't know You don't know Yeah But she wasn't in pain But she was getting pains But she was fine But she was like

Something's happening Anyway The nurse again was like You're fine This continued to happen And the pain increased And I'm talking over 10 15 minutes

Very quickly She called them back over again She was in pain They were like They just thought This girl's ridiculous They gave her one paracetamol Gave her a paracetamol

Anyway She's like I think I'm having a baby They looked down and they were like, you're not, you're not dilated. Fifteen minutes later, she was screaming in the ward, pulling her clothes off. Yeah, ripping her clothes off, going, I'm pushing.

Something is happening. They ran back, thought she was exaggerating, looked down, the baby was coming out. From go to woe, from when she went in, 40 minutes and she had a baby. That is unbelievable. What was the brand of that paracetamol? Give me some.

I know, what was it? But is that not insane? That is, also fire that nurse. Well, it was multiple nurses. Yeah, fire them all. Anyway, that's a birth story. So, hey, we're going to talk birth stories on the podcast. We got some good callers, didn't we?

We got some great stories. Shout out to the Life Uncut Facebook group who gave us some crackers, but we're going to speak to a few listeners. And I have a million-dollar question this week. Can you or is it cheating if you dress up in, like, a joint costume with somebody that's not your partner? Depends what kind of costume. A horse costume specifically.

Okay, we're far out. Red flag. We're going to unpack it, believe it or not. Enjoy. Brittany, I'm not sure if you've seen who's been making headlines. It's a politician. Oh, this could be anyone. It's not Donald Trump.

It's an Aussie politician. Do you know who it is? Any guesses? I feel like every politician every single week makes a headline in Australia, not for the right reasons. Well, on this occasion, it is none other than Pauline Hanson. Is she still a politician? I think she is.

Is she semi-retired? Not sure. Did she go to jail? That's for another chat. She's been attacking the brown paper bag that you get from a supermarket, of all people, to attack. A brown paper bag. Why on earth would she attack a brown paper bag?

I mean, actually, we could read between the lines. Let's have a listen to what she said. You buy these cheap, rubbish bags that spit and break on you all the time. I'm over it. I'm so angry about this. And 25 cents a bag. Woolies and Coles, get your act together with the bags. Have a good day.

Get your act together with the bags. Do you know what? It's probably the only thing I maybe semi-agree with Pauline on in anything she's ever said. Look, and I think there's a lot of people out there that are in a similar position to yourself. They're on the fence and they're thinking, oh, my gosh, is this going to happen?

Am I going to side with Pauline Hanson on this issue? Okay, and I, for one, am here to defend the brown paper bag. So what's her issue that it just splits and breaks and doesn't actually do what it's supposed to do? She's angry about the condition of the bag. It's too weak and it's too expensive, 25 cents. It's not worth it. What I will say is this was not planned.

I'm not making this up. Yesterday I did go to the supermarket and I literally, I wasn't even self-service. Somebody served me and I picked the brown bag up and as I picked it up, it just split and dropped to the ground and I hadn't even moved. Oh, my gosh. I hadn't even taken a step.

You are Pauline Hanson right now. Don't ever, ever relate to me to Pauline Hanson. Sorry. Sorry, too far. Too far. So what are we going to do today? Okay, well, I have in the studio today a genuine brown paper bag from a supermarket.

It does look a bit used. Thanks to our producer, Grace, who I think she's dug this one out of under the sink. It's not a crisp bag, is it? It was in my desk drawers. I keep them in case I need to pop out for lunch. Yeah, I've seen better days. We don't know how often this one has been used,

but I've been told from industry insiders that they do have a weight test of six kilograms. I've got a luggage scale here and we're going to find out on the radio live just how much weight these bags can actually take. What we are trying to do

is prove Pauline Hanson wrong live on air. I love that. Yeah, exactly. Look at the wear and tear on this bag. It's been used once, guys. We're attaching the scales

and now... I'm going to start with the big guns, okay? I want to go straight to a sandbag. This is five kilograms. My God. Matt brings this to work

to do sandbag lunges in the breaks. All right. Five's a lot. I'm nervous. But that's almost the whole, I mean, we've only got six kilos. This is a good test. So throw her in. Okay.

This could be over very quickly. Hang on one second. I think that's probably pretty standard for you, no? Oh! Ew! Okay. Let's go. Can I pick?

Let's go the tomato sauce next. I thought you'd never ask. Or you're going to weigh it each time. It's going to, you know. Okay. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, the tension.

It's actually like... The tension. Go, go, go. Okay. Act like you're walking, so it needs some bounce. Walking, bouncing. There's a bit of bounce there. And it's holding.

The bag is... It's like you're struggling to hold it up. My shoulder is shaking right now. Okay, can confirm, five kilos. Okay, great. Let's add in the tomato sauce and maybe a popper. So in the bag currently, there is a sandbag, tomato sauce, a water bottle and a popper.

Oh, my goodness. Oh, my God. Give it a bounce. Look at that. What if you have to run for the bus? I'm going all in. I'm going to add in a water bottle. Yeah.

And a popper. Great. I mean, I don't even know if I'll be able to lift this with one arm. That's how much weight is currently in the bag, and the bag is withholding. Okay. This may be the last test that we do. I don't know if we've got enough stuff to keep on doing this.

I don't know if you'll be coming back. Britt, you hop in the bag next. Okay. All right. Let's go. Give it some muscle, go. Oh, my God! Okay, give it some running for the bus.

You're running for the bus. Look at that. Hang on, what weight is that? That's almost nine kilos! Nine kilos. Look at that! That's impressive. Are you not impressed, Brittany?

Yeah, I am. I don't know if you need to yell, but I'm thoroughly impressed because my bags are broken before on, like, a box of tissues in there. Oh, we're going with the whole hog. We put another sandbag in, so two sandbags, two poppers, two drink bottles, tomato sauce. Oh, we got some. It's broken.

It's broken. What's the weight? I don't know. He can't hold it up and he's about to pop it. We've got a crack. Hey! Okay. Oh, my God.

Pauline Hanson. You heard it here first. How dare you? You heard it here first. That was 14 kilos at least. It must have been. I'm calling it double that bag than what it says it can hold. You could put a small child in that bag.

You could carry Poppy in there. Yeah, you don't need a pram. Brown paper bag. All right, thanks, Matt, for bringing that and proving the segment wrong, but all of Australia was wondering how much can a paper bag hold? You heard it here first. Hey, something's happened to me recently

and I don't know if I'm overreacting here. Okay. Okay, so Poppy, we have just given birth. When I say we, I mean my wife, Laura. Poppy is now coming up to three weeks old. Wow, time flies. Wow, it's going so quick. Should we go to college soon?

Goodness me, it is dragging on. I'm so tired right now. But we decided over the weekend to venture out, a little escape from the house, get some fresh air, get the other kids outside. We thought it would be a lovely moment, right? Of course, beautiful. And Poppy just had a feed.

I was holding Poppy. Laura then went for a little wander around the park with the other girls, Marley and Lola. Yeah. So I was standing there holding Poppy. And I kind of forget that, like, I'm desensitized now to a newborn and its size. But for other people, seeing a newborn that fresh.

So tiny. Out in the open, you know, people, and it's nice. They go, oh, my gosh, she's so tiny. And I go, yes. Three weeks old. Three weeks old, you know, the normal small talk. They say, what's her name? And I say, Poppy.

Yeah, yeah, yes, I'm the bachelor. Oh, that's right. Yeah, it did work. Yes, my wife has left me and I'm a single dad. Yeah, I'm on the 3 p.m. pickup every day. But then one person came over and we were having a really nice chat and she was a parent. Her kids were playing in the park.

And then she was like, oh, just look at her little feet. Look at them. And I was like, yeah, they're really tiny. And then she started touching her feet. Okay. And I didn't want to say anything but I was like, oh, I've just met you. And I'm also a bit funny about germs right now because, you know, Like the kids, for example, like you've got to wash your hands

before you touch the child and all of a sudden this woman is touching the feet. But I was like, it's just the feet, it's fine. Yeah. And then she was like, look at her little fingers. The fingers are so small. Oh, my gosh. She's touching her fingers.

And I was like, again, I was like, I'll let this one slide. I don't want to make it awkward between myself and the parent. She has good intentions. And then she was stroking her face. It's like a pepper sprayer. Well, I just, it was such a gradual build-up. But by the time she was touching Poppy's face and, like, stroking her little head.

You'd let it happen. I'd let it happen. And I thought to myself, this will be over in the blink of an eye. And I didn't want to make it weird, but I was thinking to myself, do I have to tell people front end when they come over, do not touch the child? Oh, it's tricky. I totally get it.

I think the feet are a free-go zone. Like, I think feet, you can do a little. Feet are fair game. You can touch them, I think. But, I don't know. disclaimer i'm not a parent but i did work in a hospital in emergency for 13 years i've been around the germs i get the vaccination thing i get it all i think it is 100 okay for you to ask a stranger not to touch your baby especially a newborn because if your child gets sick it can

be devastating especially at that young and i don't think you need to feel awkward it just means you're a good person you feel uncomfortable making someone else feel uncomfortable and i think that just makes you a good person but there are some things i think you need to throw to the side and And if it's a stranger at a park who has germs on their hand, it doesn't mean they're a dirty person. We all have germs. And then they're touching her face. It's like.

So I think this is a bit of a PSA then to anyone out there who is a parent. I get that you're a parent. You understand it. It doesn't give you this ability to then touch other people's children. But then just when I thought the worst of it was over, she was then touching the feet again and she goes, oh, it's a bit cold. I think she might need some socks. Oh, she told you how to parent.

She's touched my child and now she's having a go at me for what she's wearing Maybe she thinks you're the first time parent Maybe she thought you were a single dad and your wife had left and you were struggling with the three Well, I was holding Poppy upside down

but that's not the point Alright, there's your PSA from Matt No touching people's faces We have Maddie J in the studio with us filling in for Laura while she's on maternity leave Oh look, it's great to be here, Britt It's great to be here It's lovely to have you

You know, it's nice just to have a little break from the family and the kids, if I'm honest. I wouldn't put that out there. No, it's fine. Your baby's three weeks old. Ooh. It's awkward. I would love you to tell me if you get sucked into this as frequently as I do

because I know a lot of people are out there getting scammed and getting fooled every day, but I seem to be doing it a lot. Now, this is a PSA for anyone. You really need to be media literate. You need to know where you're getting your news from and what you're reading. It's hard to spot the fake news, Britt. It really is. Well, I got sucked in big time this week.

So at the start of the week, basically on a Sunday night, we all get together in the team and we just say what's been going on for the week, what's going on in our lives, has anything grabbed us this week? Like it's a very normal kind of content production meeting. But Sunday nights, that's when they get you. That's when your guard is down. It is because you're so relaxed, horizontal in the lounge.

That's when they'll find you and they'll get you. I think there's a study somewhere that someone did that said that you trust more on a Sunday afternoon. I believe it. Yeah. Absolutely. Fake news, got you. Yeah, God, no.

No, but what it was is so we had this production meeting and we were all sending our stuff in for the week and what interested us and I said, producer Grace, I was like, put this in. This is absolutely crazy. We need to talk about this. I was like, I cannot believe this is happening. Maybe we can start some kind of a petition.

I'm sure there's a petition happening in France as we speak. Now, it was a news article saying that the Eiffel Tower is being demolished next year. That's right, yeah. And it did have a lot of background to it. It was quite in-depth. It said that the contract had worn out. When you say a lot of background to it, like it was –

A couple of sentences when you drop down. It was a link that said the contract had – it was up for renewal and they may not – the French government may decide that enough's enough. It was so unusual, the details, that I was like, must be real because they were like – it had something like a 136-year lease contract and it was up and France was like, We just can't afford to maintain it anymore. It's pretty believable.

Is it though? Isn't it? You're a clever woman, Brit. Well, to be fair, I didn't actually click on the link. It was just a headline. You have a university degree. Yeah, I do. It just was a headline and I got sucked.

I'm my own worst enemy. So I sent it to Grace. Grace was absolutely mortified, laughed in my face and sent it back and said, you're a loser. The Eiffel Tower is not being demolished. And I got, I'm just sick of it. I don't know how to tell anymore. Do I have to chaperone you out of the studio when this finishes

and make sure you don't get done by the wallet inspectors because I'm worried about you, Britt, honestly. No, that's a scam. That's not AI. My problem is AI has gotten so good. That's not AI because that's an article. No, it was AI Photoshop as well. What, of it already gone?

It was demolished, yeah. I believed it. No. But sure, like, okay, okay, we laughed, we laughed, we laughed. Producer Grace, tell me the video that you sent me that you thought was fascinating. I sent almost everyone in my contact list a video of a seagull riding an e-scooter.

And I was like, that's so clever. How did he learn to do that? A seagull? It was not real. Sorry, as if the Eiffel Tower had been demolished at the end of a 136-year lease. That is more believable than a seagull riding an electric scooter. I thought just the power of his wings was propelling it.

They're the worst. The power of his wings. Look, I just want to just remind you, Britt, that it wasn't actually AI that you got done by. It was just a false article. All right, what have you been done? I do not believe you're not getting done by AI. Okay, well, I did on one occasion get done.

I like to think of myself as being pretty cluey, but it was a little while ago they had the bunny rabbits on a trampoline. Yeah. No, you know what got me? I believed that. Oh, I'm sure you did. But then I saw 50 videos and each video had a different animal on the trampoline. They're sausage dogs.

That's right. I was like, there's not that many animals. Any seagulls on their graves? Seagulls on the trampoline? No, they didn't make it to the trampoline. A shame. Anyway, be safe out there, kids. It's a wild world.

Brittany right now the nation is divided are they yeah they really are and and I'm I'm upset by it okay if I'm honest and when I say divided there are two camps there is the camp of people that love and embrace Halloween and on the other side the people who think that it should be left to the Americans my first thought is you get upset very easily I'm an emotional man Brittany I really am. But I was on TikTok and I saw a post that was done by Sarah's Day. I don't know if you're familiar with. She's an influencer.

She's like a bit of a fitness influencer. She's got a few kids, but she's got 1.2 million on Instagram. She's got about 300,000 on TikTok. She's like a mumfluencer influencer. But she's got a huge audience, right? She did a post about the fact that she will not be dressing up her kids for Halloween. And it got

really mixed responses in the comments. Let me just read you a couple. Okay. Okay. I'm going to let this news marinate as I tell you that some people were all for it and saying this just made me love you a thousand or million times more, us two, XXX. But then in contrast to that, the next comment, which got over a thousand likes, it says, it's not that deep.

It's just about candy and dressing up as a cute pumpkin. I would say that I'm with that comment. It's just about candy, right? So it's just dress up party to get candy. Right? I mean, I will admit, back in the day, before I had kids, I was anti-Halloween. Same. I was an anti-Halloween-ist.

I was too, but you know why I was? Like, as a kid, I don't know what your youth was like and your mum's parenting, but... Where did you grow up again? I grew up in Port Macquarie, which is like a town in between the Gold Coast and Sydney. It's like a beach town. But we were always told, like every Halloween, it was like, oh, it's so American, we don't do that here. And I can remember how little houses, like, got part of it.

Like, we didn't feel like we were missing out because it's not like every house in the street was participating. So it was like you didn't really understand that it was even a thing because just no one used to do it. Because the issue is Australia is too bloody big and all the houses are too far away from each other. So growing up, to walk to the next house for us was like a couple of minutes. No one could be bothered.

My mum was like, I'm not walking around with five kids going door knocking. No, I just remember my mum always saying the same thing, just going, it's too American. Like it was such an Americanised thing. Okay, but now that I've got young girls and I see the joy in their faces when they get to pick their costumes, they get to dress up, they get to go out there, knock on people's door, get free chocolate and free candy.

Yeah, but you can't win with kids. Like you spend your whole life saying don't take candy from strangers and then Halloween comes, you're like, except this one day of the year. And that's what we really try and drill into them, that it's this one little window that we're allowed to do it and they love it. I dare say that our family, and especially my kids, they love Halloween more than Christmas.

There, I said it. I said it. It's out there. That's a big call, man. I will die on that hill. But I think we should all collectively as a country stop swimming against the tide here. Embrace Halloween with open arms and it's amazing.

You could come Halloweening with us. Oh, my God, you're the first person to ever invite me. Maybe that's why I don't like it. That's why you don't like it. You've never had an invite. They've got no friends or kids. Come with us. I, at the moment, at this stage of my life, don't have kids.

I hate when Halloween comes and it's not – I want the kids to have fun. I do not want 100 people knocking at my door to give them candy. I just don't want it. I just pretend I'm not home. I'm not proud of it. And that's the best part of Halloween. You can be in the camp of people that want to stay home and just open the door, throw candy at kids, or you can come with us.

You can dress up as, I don't know. Careful here. A witch. Shrek out. A beautiful princess. There we go. But there's plenty of time. 31st of October, just in case you don't know.

I know when it is. It is coming. You don't have to think of a costume idea right now. Will you find me a costume? Absolutely. I thought you'd never ask. Okay, if you get me a costume, I'll wear whatever you get me. How's about that for radio?

I love it. But what I will say is I do have a reason. I'm not just a grinch. I remember I did it. I was like, you know what? I'm going to be a better person. I'm going to get amongst it. I got the candy and I got ready and just this one kid,

I'll never forget him. And I gave him his candy and he goes, is that it? That's what he said. And I was like, get lost, you brat. And then I closed the curtains and I didn't do it ever again. I was like, you ungrateful little brat. How old was that kid? Oh, 28.

All right, well, I can't wait to see what you're going to pick for me. But yeah, food for thought. I do think Australia's changing. I think we are admitting defeat and opening our arms up to Halloween. It's not defeat. That's the wrong word. Now, Matt, it's Thursday. So just to get you up to speed, I know it's still early days for you,

but we do Ask Uncut every Thursday. That's what we do on our podcast, Life Uncut podcast. You know I love Ask Uncut. You do love it. I've been such a big fan since way back when. Yeah. I just love getting involved in other people's business. Well, this one I picked particularly for you

because you have a very lived experience. We have Stacey on the line who is having some issues with her partner and a cat. Stacey, just explain to everyone what the issue is. Okay, so we lost our family cat earlier this year, which was quite hard at the time, as we all know what losing a pet is like. Stacey, I'm so sorry.

Part of the family. Oh, thank you. But I feel I'm ready to get another cat. But my husband is very much against it around, like I mentioned it a couple of months ago, and he's like, I'm not ready. Like, I didn't realize how much the loss would affect me. So I'm like, I'll give you time.

I respect that. But now I'm at the point that I really want a cat companion. He's a shift worker, so there's times like I'm home alone, so it's like if I'm having the companion around, I don't know how to go about just going to get one. Look, this is a really complicated situation. You found yourself in, Stacey. Thank you, mate.

And again, my heart goes out to you and your family. Regarding the loss of your cat, can I ask, was it your boyfriend or husband? Husband, husband. So the cat kind of came into our lives, it was nine years ago. We kind of half adopted him, we were meant to have him for a weekend and nine years later we still had him. What was the cat's name? His name was Sillom, S-I-L-L-O-M, really weird.

So we just called him Silly Cat. I'm not here to judge, Stacey. Sillom. I'm judging, it's a really weird name. I hate the RIP Sillom. Yeah, RIP Sillom. It wasn't our choice, let's be honest. So we stuck with Silly Cat but, yeah, it was funny

because we kind of got him right at the beginning of our relationship as well. So we had just moved in together probably three weeks before we kind of rescued him. I'm going to tell you something very important. And if I could just ask quickly, before I tell you this information, can you just take a quick seat if you're not already seated, if that's okay?

So men, and I say this as a man, we are really dumb, okay? We don't know what we want. I'm so glad you said that. Okay, and sometimes we just dig our heels in for just the sake of – Digging our heels in. We just want to dig them in. We'll dig them in, do anything. And I was once your husband, in a sense.

Laura had a cat. She was called Lady and a Cat on her Instagram. She had a cat. Can't remember its name. Not important. And it died. It was hit by a car. And Laura said, I want a new cat.

And I said no. And she then went out, got the cat, and when I saw the cat, I was like, oh, my gosh. I actually did really want a cat and I didn't know it. So let me just extend this conversation a little bit. Matt said he didn't want a cat. Laura brought the cat home. Matt was like, so cute.

And then a week later he was like, I don't want the cat anymore. That is an absolute lie. And Stacey, it's important for you to stay focused on what I am saying in this situation. I am the expert here. Go out, buy any cat that you like. And I guarantee, regardless of the breed, regardless of the sex, regardless of the name, your husband will love this cat. So if it ends in divorce, I can come back to you, right?

That's part of the advice component, yeah? I think it's guaranteed. No, I think in all seriousness, like, of course, you're supposed to meet in the middle as a couple and, like, both agree on something. But I would say in this situation, your feelings and your situation at home in terms of being alone all the time, I think that supersedes him saying, no, I don't want one.

So I think you just need to say, look, it's really important to me. Like, I feel really lonely when you're not here. I feel like I need something or someone else in the house. and if it's not going to be someone, it can be a cat. That's what I would do. I completely agree. That's kind of where I've tried to like starting to lead it. You know what?

If it does end in divorce, Brittany has a spare room in her apartment, so you're totally fine. I'm a cat free space. I'm a cat free space. Hey, good luck, Stacey. Thank you for calling us. Thank you so much. I do have some good news.

You might not get a cat, but you do get some Sony earbuds just for calling us today. These are really, really good. Noise cancelling, tech, clearer calls. They're very stylish. So they're all yours just for calling up today. I really appreciate it. And thank you so much for the advice.

And thank you, Maddie. You're doing a great job in the seat, I'll tell you that much. But I really appreciate you taking the time to help me out. You're very welcome. Thank you, Stacey. Matt, this is a good question for you. Hit me. Nothing I love more than an am I the a-hole thread.

Yeah. So we've got one that's about is it or isn't it cheating? Now, let me set the scene. There's a lovely little couple. She works in an office. What are their names? It's anonymous. It's anonymous.

Not important. Continue. Yeah, not important. So she works in an office and there's always been a little bit of something that the boyfriend has been worried about. He's like, there's one person at the office that they call Spencer that he thinks is a little bit too flirty with his girlfriend. Nothing's happened.

Spencer, red flag, straight up. Spenny. Spenno. Yeah, not for me. So the boyfriend's like, you know what? I've got my eye on you, buddy. Nothing's happened, but I can see you looking at my girl. So she's come home and she has said that the office is having a dress-up party

and she has decided to team up in a couple's costume with this Spencer character. Okay, that's not too bad. Right? Not too bad. Are you going in matching bananas in pyjamas? Yeah, that's great. That's fun. They have decided to go as a horse.

So the same costume, you know where one has to bend over and the other one backs up into it and then there's one horse costume. It's not like she's riding on the back of Spencer. I think it's worse. Have a look. You see these? Oh, my God. That, no, that's, okay.

So he's, the boyfriend's like, bro, this is like borderline cheating. That's, it's, okay, and for anyone who obviously can't watch us right now, it is one where you kind of have to like, one person is standing up, the other person who's behind the back legs has to bend over. It's really intimate and you're encased in the costume. Well, one person's head has to be in another's butt. Whichever way you do it, there's nowhere else to go. And I don't know, if you're the girl,

are you wanting his head in your butt or your butt or your head in his butt? I think both scenarios. There is no good outcome here. I think this very much falls into the category of it being murky. And if it's murky, get out of the water. Well, yeah, because there might be crocodiles. Right. So the boyfriend is like, look, you're going to be connected literally all day.

Is it necessary? You can go with anything you want. why have you chosen the only thing that has to be, like, heads in butts? I don't like it. And to me, this falls into the same category as, like, if your partner, right, starts watching a TV series without you with somebody else. Oh, like in distance or something?

Yeah, I don't like it. If they're watching episodes in sync, I don't like it. It does make you think about all those things that's, like, I mean, dressing up as a horse isn't cheating, but it sort of goes that way of being inappropriate, but it makes you think of, like, what are those little things? And I think it's... Like when you get matching tattoos, I don't like it.

What, if you're not a couple? Yeah, not for me. Alarm bells. But it's things like... Massages together. No. I don't like it. Brushing, like someone reaches over and brushes hair off someone's face

or tucks it behind the ear. Popping a pimple. Not cheating. Gross. But that's murky. It's murky. Crocodiles are looming. Be careful.

Fixing someone's tie. You know, like you ride up into it and you're doing that little wiggle and you make eye contact and your lips are closed and it's heavy breathing. Inappropriate, right? What about tying a shoelace? I think that's okay. Good, I had you for a second.

So you think it's fine. All right, all right. So Matt and I are going as a horse to the office. No, it's not okay. It's murky, Britt. The crocodiles remember. Brittany, this is going to sound really self-indulgent. But yesterday I was spotted.

Is that the end of the sentence? I was, I was, look, I was on, for those of you who do not know, about eight years ago, nine years ago actually, I think it was out of nine, I was on a show called The Bachelor. Yeah, yeah, which is where you met my lovely co-host and your wife, Laura. Right, I was once the most eligible man in the country. I think you'll find it's the most eligible man

that was available. I'm sorry. Like, what are you doing? Don't have to attack me like that on the show, Brittany. Okay, I'll just keep laughing at my expense. I'm the one that got dumped on The Bachelor, don't worry. It's worse for me. So I was at this cafe and I was sitting down there with a mate

and look, it doesn't happen that much. You know, it was a really long time ago that I was on the show. So I definitely these days, it's really, it's back of mind, people stopping me for a photo. But when it does happen, like I'll be honest, I don't know if you feel the same, when you get asked for a photo, it's really nice. Yeah, I mean.

Do you enjoy it? Yes, I, because Laura and I have our podcast Life Uncut, it has a really big audience, so we get a lot of lifers. You actually, you get it a lot more. Yeah, we get lifers. Yeah. They're the best. And it's great.

It's a lovely interaction. You make people's day, you give them a moment of your time and I enjoy it if I'm being really honest. So I was at the cafe and I could kind of see in the corner of my eye there was a group of young people and they had their phone out and they were kind of looking at me in my direction. You think they were like secret squirrel trying to film you? No, they looked like they just wanted a photo with me.

They had the phone out there, they're kind of looking at you and they're a bit nervous to ask for a photo. I feel uncomfortable for some reason because I know this is going to go somewhere I don't think it's going to go. And for me, straight away I spotted the situation, I identified it and I thought I'm more than happy to oblige. It's a little bit awkward and sometimes they're a bit shy and so sometimes I just go, do you know what, I'll come over.

I'll come to you. I don't need you to ask. I can read between the lines. So I got up and I walked over and I was like, hey, guys, how are you going? And I grabbed the phone and I sat down with them and, you know, I've got a long arm and so I got the phone out there and I smiled and I was like, hey, everyone. You didn't even ask them?

Again, you know. Shot you shot. I've been in these moments and I was like, I'm going to make their day. I'm going to give them something to remember. I'm sure they're here on holiday and, you know, how nice for them they got to meet Matty J at a cafe. So I take the photo. I just want you to stop.

And I thought to myself, oh, they're really not into this. Like they should be enjoying it a lot more because they're getting. And they didn't even have to ask. They're getting the start treatment and they looked really confused and I was kind of like, oh, this is not what I was expecting, you know. You're welcome. And then they go, oh, can you just take a photo of them? They didn't know who I was.

They just thought this guy looks like he could probably take a photo. They just wanted someone to take a photo. And then here's me getting up out of my seat, just being the good man that I am. No, mate. And they were so confused. And I was like, oh, yeah, you just, okay. Did you tell them?

Were you like, well, here's my Wikipedia? Of course I did. You did. I just took a couple of steps back and I was like, I'll take a photo, everyone. There you go. That is absolutely mortifying. I got my coffee and I went home and I was like, goddammit.

But, you know, that has happened to me before where it's been close but not quite that, where somebody has come up and said, excuse me, and they've got their phone out. And I'm like, oh, they're going to want a photo. And I was like, yes. And they just wanted directions. No, they just want you to take a photo of them. Exactly that.

It's like you're at a lookout or something and they thought that you're like, they want a photo but they absolutely don't. It's very mortifying. Thank you. Thank you. You're making me feel a little bit better about myself. Did they even try to ask you who you were? No, they just thought I was being like a quirky, funny guy.

and they were just so confused by it all. So anyway. They put a complaint in that there's some creep at the cafe. Hopefully this radio show will reignite my celebrity flame. Okay, so if you see Matty J, please go up and ask him for a photo. Make him feel better. For the love of God, I need it. Look, if you have an unforgettable or a wild birth story,

I would love for you to give us a call right now. This is off the back of Laura. Gave birth about three and a half weeks ago to Poppy. Shout out to her. And there's a little kitchenette in the hospital. and for anyone who doesn't know, giving birth takes a little while. So I would go to this kitchenette, I would get a cup of coffee and I would interact with other dads.

Gotcha. One dad told me his birth story which was wild. From when the waters broke, it was about 20 minutes, okay? He was in the car on the way to the hospital. It's pretty speedy. Gave birth on the side of the road. He did it himself on the phone to triple zero. He birthed the child?

Yeah, I mean they had an awful mess in the car but a beautiful baby off the back of that. That's insane. Could you imagine, Britt? Well, my sister gave birth on one Panadol in 40 minutes. What? And five weeks early, just slipped on out. Okay, there's got to be wild stories out there in Australia.

Let's see who we got. Oh, we got Dana on the line. Dana, what is your wild birth story? Well, it's not my birth story, but it is my mum's on how I came into this world. So 22 years ago, my mum gave birth to me and she didn't know that she was having twins. Another one slid out?

How? How does that happen? It's so random. So initially when she first gave birth to me, the midwife was like, oh, yeah, that's fine. I got taken over and got checked out. My dad went over and then they were like, we actually have just found another foot.

We know you're going to want to push, but you can't. And so she thought I was deformed. She thought I came out and my foot was, like, detached from me. Oh, my gosh. So they come over and they're like, you're actually about to have another baby. And it never picked up in ultrasounds because both mine and my brother's heartbeat was in sync. So it only ever picked up one heartbeat and both of our spines were aligned as well. Oh, my God.

That's equal parts beautiful and equal parts absolute nightmare. Almost like when you're in a running race and you think you've finished. They go, oh, no, you've got one more lap to go. It was so bad. I don't think they're similar, man. Very similar. I've been there. I know what your mum's been through.

But, yeah, they came over and they're like, you're going to have another baby. So then my mum called my dad over and she was like, you kind of have to go refund the pram. And he's like, what do you mean? She's like, I'm about to push out another one. And he passed out on the floor and she gave birth to my brother with no painkillers.

Oh, I am in love. Surely that's your worst nightmare is like you prep yourself for one and then a surprise baby pops out. You're like, what? Dana, thank you very much. I've got another call here. It's Briah. What is your wild birth story?

Hi, guys. I actually delivered my sister's baby in the backseat of her car. And at the time, I was also 30 weeks pregnant. Oh, that's insane. Did she go really early? Like, how does that happen? No, so I was 30 weeks pregnant, but my sister was full term. She was like 39 weeks and something.

Yeah, but you just couldn't make it to the hospital? No, no. So it was her second birth and she, with her first, she had an epidural quite early on. So with this one, she was like, I want to actually feel what labour's like and she definitely did and she obviously just left it far too long. So we were on the way to the hospital.

We were probably only five minutes away, to be honest. So close. And you pulled it out. Bri, what is the hardest part about helping someone give birth? Well, for me, it was actually that she had the four-wheel drive and she was in the back seat and I couldn't manoeuvre myself in there because I had a giant belly as well. You're lucky it wasn't a two-seater convertible.

You'd be screwed. Thank you, Briah. Natalie, what is your wild birth story? My wild birth story is the scene back in the August 2023 Matildas versus France penalty shootout. I remember well. What a game. It was so stressful.

Yeah, so I was watching it at home. But, yeah, the stress of it put me into labour. I had my baby by the next morning. Do you call it Matilda? Well, my obstetrician, funny that my obstetrician, while I was being operated on through my C-section, you know, setting scene, pulling out all of my organs and trying to get to the baby, was like, so we're calling this baby Matilda?

And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, me just wanting the baby out. And then my husband was like, oh, we need to correct that. It's actually Jasmine. So didn't end up calling it Matilda. I mean, when you're in that position, you'll agree to anything, right? Exactly. When someone's hands are in your abdomen, sure. Yeah.

So just to be safe, anyone who's close to their due date, do not watch any Matilda games. That's right. Oh, thank you so much for the call. Isn't that just insane, the number of people that are just, like, popping babies out in the back of their cars or in the car parks? It's wild. All of a sudden, I'm like, Poppy's birth was pretty boring.

Totally. You should be lucky. No, I'm like, I wish we had a bit more spice on that birth. Easy for you to say. You're not doing it.