Life Uncut - The Best Of The Pick Up - Matty J's FIRST Week Filling In!

Episode Date: October 11, 2025

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.   You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany. I'm Laura. Wow, she'll be wildly offended at that. It sounds like Marge from The Simpsons a bit. Okay, so this is Laura's husband, Matty J, in case you are new to the show. People wouldn't even really recognise my voice at the moment because I have laryngitis.

Do you? No, you lost your voice at the football. Well, laryngitis isn't that like a form of throat infection? But you just yelled too much. It's a strain of the vocal cords, Britt. No, it's not. It's an infection. Okay, I've been telling everyone it's laryngitis.

You yelled your lungs off at the football. I didn't even yell that much. I literally said, go Broncos, twice, and I thought to myself, I'm not going to push it any more than that. Because it's my first week on national radio. I need to preserve my throat, my vocal cords. And then I did like phantom yells. I was just mouthing like, fake yells.

It was enough to take me down. I think it's the fact that we've got a newborn in the house and the kids are all up all night. So at the moment, I think I'm probably getting about three to four hours of sleep per night. That's cute, but as my co-host, that's also not my problem. Just give me some sympathy, dude. Hey, let's set the scene.

Yes, this is Life Uncut, but this is our radio show. So at the end of the week, we obviously do radio every day of the week. We package up the best bits and we put it here for you to listen to. and if you have somehow missed it. Can I just say, wow, what a week it was. Well, hang on, Laura had a baby. That's why you're here. Let's set the tone.

That's what I was talking about. What a week. The baby. But, yeah, it was Manny J's first week on radio. So thank you for filling in. You've been wonderful. Hey, there's nowhere else I'd rather be. It's nice to have a break from the baby.

It was touch and go for a while, to be honest. A few people did say, hang on a second, shouldn't you be on mat leave with your wife? And I'm like, yeah. I was one of those people. I also said that. I'm doing that in the morning up until lunchtime. I do it at night time and I'm working.

I'm paying the bills. I'm doing it all, Brittany. Look, not because I didn't want you as a co-host, but I was one of those people. I was like, are you sure that you want to come in and do radio? Like when you've got a one-week-old baby, you don't want to be at home? But you fought the cause. I did it for the people.

Give the people what they want. They want Matty J. I just give the people what they want and if it means that I'm working around the clock, I'm burning the candle from both ends, it doesn't matter. As a representative of Laura, what happens when you go home at night? Does she listen to the show? Is she critiquing it?

Well, she did say obviously we have on a Sunday we have a prep call in the afternoon and I don't know if it's just because she was being polite but she was kind of prying and saying, what have you got planned for the week? What stories are you going to tell? Maybe it's because I just give away way too much personal information and she's actually genuinely worried about what I'll give away. No, she was actually driving home with Poppy in the car.

Yeah. And she did say, I heard the opener of the show before she got home and she said, it's sounding really good. Great. I think she's worried. She's probably worried on both ends. Like she's probably worried like, oh, I want him to do well, but not too well.

I don't want him to outwell me. Can I just say the biggest rule in media is don't be replaced by someone who's better than you. Yeah. It's also don't be replaced by your husband. I think that's a pretty big rule too. I think Producer Grace looks a little bit – I think the goal is just not to be replaced full stop.

Yeah, full stop. It doesn't matter if they're better. But if you're sick. Oh, yes. No, you're right. That's what I'm talking about. Don't let someone better than you fill in. Fill in – sorry.

Yeah. Bad choice of words. But the fill in – and I don't want to sound arrogant here. I hate that I've maybe crossed that line, but fuck, I'm doing good. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? You are. Hey, we're all thinking it.

I want to make a serious note there for a second. It is such – I hate to be that person, but it is a genuine worry in this industry. Like jobs are so few and far between. There is definitely a scarcity mindset, especially for women. Like women jobs in entertainment and media are less. So you have this and it sucks because – Do you think it's bad for brand if I take a woman's job?

Honey, especially when it's your wife. Like it can't be a female and your wife. Like you're asking for trouble. But even Laura – Screw it, I'm doing it. You don't even want maternity leave because I'm surprised Laura didn't birth it in here because she's like, I need to get my job.

But, no, you did well. But, hey, this week, a lot of things on the show, but I did come out hot with some advice. I wanted some advice from Matt. I wanted the male advice. A friend of mine is, like, deep in the dating world. Now, I don't want to shit on dating. Dating can be wonderful.

It's very important. And fun, and it can be the greatest. Like, I had the best time when I was dating, but I also dated some turd burgers. And one of my friends is, like, in the trenches at the moment, and something happened to her where I want your advice and what it might mean from a man, you know. So that's something big on the show today.

We do talk about the birth of Poppy. Of course. It would be remiss of me not to mention little Popsicle. But we had an issue and it's something that I think unless you've been in a delivery suite, it's an issue that you may not be aware of. So this is a PSA, just managing the expectations of soon-to-be parents. It has something to do with midwives. Oh, and also coming up a little bit later in the show,

we will talk about bunnies. Okay. Wow, what a hook that is. How's that for a tease? I love that. I can't wait to talk about the fannies. Stick around. You're not going to want to miss it.

We have the wonderful Matty J filling in for us at the moment while his wife Laura is on maternity leave. Welcome, Matty. She is currently at home juggling three kids, covered in vomit and milk. So shout out to Laura who's having a beautiful time at home right now. And you're like, sorry, babe, I have to go to work. I said, you put me up for this.

I had to leave her and she was angry at me as I was out the door. I was like, I didn't want this. I didn't want this. No, I did. None of us did. None of us did. Sorry, Laura. She's listening right now.

But Poppy arrived and I think I said, Britt, you might know this, Laura was induced. Yeah. So it was like pre-booked. I went to Italy. I was really hoping that she would come before I left for my one-week holiday because I wanted to cut the cord. Cutting the cord is a task that I don't want.

So I'm upset that you weren't there to take that responsibility off me. Well, that's why I volunteered myself because Laura said that you were not about it. Like, it was like cutting calamari. You didn't want to do it. Grossed you out. So I was going to volunteer as tribute. Next time if there is one, you're there.

But the weird thing about being induced is that most often it happens in the morning. So we were in the hospital at 9.30 to get induced and we had an amazing midwife. And with the midwife, we didn't pick her. It was just, you know, she was looking after our room on that particular day. Chantel, beautiful midwife. Shout out to Chantel. Great energy. We loved her.

We just clicked. We got along and then we were with Chantel for the entire day. You really want that connection when someone's like between your legs, don't you? Totally. Like you want that. You know, Chantel came to us and we were so stoked. And I'm sure all the midwives are fantastic. I'm sure there's not like a bad midwife out there, although.

But with Laura, it was taking a long time. Okay. I don't want to say she was dragging her feet, but it was now. Careful what you say, Matt. It was one o'clock. it was two o'clock. We're all waiting. It was in six o'clock and Chantel came into the room and she said, hey guys, I have to let you know, my shift is going to finish at six o'clock. I'm about to clock off. And I was like, what do you mean, Chantel? We've been here the whole day.

Surely the rule is you just have to see through the end of the pregnancy, like the birth. Well, no, because if you think about it, some people's like labors go for 24 to 40 hours. And Chantel's like, I've got dinner booked. She's like, I can stay till 6.15 and then I've got to go. I've got Italian at 7. Right? And then I was looking at Laura and saying, are you closed? We'd have a look downstairs and she was only six centimetres dilated,

which for those wondering, it's not enough. I now know. Okay. What are you aiming for? Good question. I think it was eight. I think eight. Ten.

Ten, apparently. Pretty much Grace. Grace, thank you. Where were you, Grace? I'm sorry. But then we had to wave goodbye to Chantel. we had a new midwife and she was equally as nice, but it was just, we'd only known each other for about half an hour before Laura starts pushing and it was too soon. It is too soon. It's too

intimate. And I understand that it would be upsetting that that person you formed the connection with for eight hours has left you. Well, Chantel didn't even call to check on us after she left. Sarah, the new midwife, who again was lovely, but I just, it was speed ramping through the relationship. We're shaking hands, saying hi next minute. She's there. The baby's in her arms. Yeah, it's just like a hot date on a Friday night. I know, but it all went well. I did cut the umbilical cord and guess what I got to keep?

The placenta? The scissors. Oh, I was like, are you eating the placenta? It was offered to me and I had to politely say no. Why, like, was it ever of interest to you? Because a lot of people make the placenta now into capsules. Yeah, and they're, like, taking them like a vitamin because it's the most nutrient-dense thing on the planet.

Don't roll your eyes, Producer Grace. It was tempting, but on this occasion, I just went for the scissors. Okay, that's a bit more boring. A lot of other people apparently bury it in their yard and stuff like that. It's like you use it for plants and stuff. It helps grow. And that's a beautiful thing if that's your jam. But once again, for me, I'm into arts and crafts.

I just wanted my hands on those scissors and I've got them and I'll give them to Poppy when she turns 21. So what are you going to do with them? Give it to Poppy. Just hold them. I know both of you. They will not last a week. They will be lost somewhere.

They're in the cutlery drawer right now. So when the kids need arts and crafts. Salad, like salad server. Or if anyone happens to give birth in our house, good news, the umbilical cord can get cut with those scissors. Okay, last question. So who actually delivers the baby, the midwife or did you have like an obstetrician that physically pulls it out?

Shout out to Bobby, the obstetrician. Okay. The OB, what's up? He came in. It all happens really quickly. It's hard to. Hang on, a minute ago she was dragging her feet. No, but then the pointy end, like you sneeze and it's over.

Oh, there's so many women listening to this right now being like, you do not sneeze and it is not over. Let me just, this is going terribly. Let's go to the next break. I've seen something online. This is a controversial spin on a child play date and I want you to tell me if this is acceptable or not. Okay, is this like something like,

I swear this was my friend and it really was you or? You know those stories where like, I have a friend. Look, not quite. You're close. You're close. Okay, we all know that having kids, something that is very normal, is having playdates. Yeah.

Right? Yes. But there's one thing that this mum, she's from the States, she is doing off the back end of these playdates, which is getting a lot of people up in arms. Okay. Have a listen to this. So I sent over my Venmo request and it just said,

hey I had a great play date. I sent you a Venmo for $36 for food and supplies. So this other mom said thanks for the hospitality but this is like a price gouging scheme to like make money and they called it like a bill. While her son was over I just kept on my notes tab a running tab of everything that her son used during the play date. This can't be real. I actually think price gouging, that's very unfair because $36, let's just remind people that a babysitter per hour will charge about $36, up to $45.

So I actually think it's a very fair investment. But what is she charging? Do they go to like a theme park? What's the money for? Look, I think it's just, you know, at home, They're going to use colouring in paper, there's materials. That child will need to be fed so it's going to cover things like food. Food's not cheap.

Cost of living, Brit. Okay, answer this. Does Delilah, your dog, go on playdates? Yes. Okay. Does it cost you money? I send her food. You send food?

With her, yeah. And if you didn't send her food, do you think it would be unreasonable if the person looking after Delilah would say, hey, I'm going to charge you $30 because I had to feed her and also poo bags and etc. I don't think we can relate my dog to kids. You're a pet parent, Britt. But what I will say is I remember take like, let's cast our minds back to when I was on a play date.

I'm one of four kids, but my parents, if I went on a play date to someone else's house, they would send me with money for that kind of stuff. So you'd go with like, I don't know, was it $10, $15 and that would be your pool entry and that would be your food. for lunch or whatever. So it was never expected for the parent to pay. But essentially your mum was doing exactly what this woman wants but she was just front-ending it.

So you agree. No, because no one. You agree that parents out there should be charging for playdates. Britt Hockley. No, I do not. From your mouth. I absolutely do not. I think that that poor kid's not going to have any friends.

No one is going to want to go and play at that kid's house. You cannot charge for a piece of colouring paper. If you're inviting a kid to your house to have a playdate, then the food is on you. The chicken nuggets are on you. You're not saying here's $2 for a chicken nugget. I disagree. That child will have friends.

Marley, Poppy and Lola will go over there. If she's going to have a play date and take my kids for a couple of hours and it's only going to cost me $36, sold. I do not believe you are ever going to send a Venmo request to anyone for a play date. If any kid comes to your house for a play date, you are not Venmoing or it's a quick way to get cancelled. No, I use PayPal.

It's The Pickup with Britt, Laura and Maddie J. No, she's not here, Britt. We can't just wipe her. Wipe her? She's, remove her from every bit of marketing material possible, please. You watch. Matt's going to Photoshop his face onto every picture of Laura on The Pickup. Give me a login.

You already have, haven't you? Give me a login and I'll do it. I've been looking at your type type in your computer trying to figure out what the password is. Hey, you'll probably love this, Matt, because this could be up your alley for trying to steal Laura's job. AI, I want to talk to you about this new actress that is taking over Hollywood. I don't know if you've seen her. Her name is Tilly Norwood. I'm going to show you a photo of her.

She's, like, super cute, girl next door. Very girl next door. Like, long, luscious brown hair. Her Instagram is, like, she's just having coffees and, like, doing things with the girls and yoga and whatever. And she's just been, I believe it was, like, Cannes Film Festival. So her manager's been there selling her, right? She's the next big thing in Hollywood.

So do they just walk around with a tablet being like, this is Tilly? How do they sell her? Well, this is the problem. So Tilly is not a real actress, even though she's like quoted to be the next hot thing. She's AI. So she doesn't exist. And this is getting a lot of Hollywood offside because imagine you're at like the biggest film festival and all anyone is talking about is somebody that doesn't exist.

And so what her agency has said is like, or we have, sorry, we've taken the best of who we think are all the best actresses to create this one like super actress. and they've even said, like, she's the next Scarlett Johansson. Now, the problem is Scarlett Johansson still exists. She's just was in Jurassic Park. She's a brilliant actress. She's like, I'm right here, guys. Because I haven't died.

You can still book me for a movie. Yeah, but this is the problem, right? Are we at the point where we are going to be happy as a society to sit back and watch a film where these people don't even exist? They don't have real feelings. There's no human connection. Like how are they supposed to connect with a TV role or a movie role or the character?

Okay, hang on. If you're talking about connection, Lion King, okay? Mufasa, right? He's a cartoon. Did I cry? Yes. Yes, I feel you on that. So we've been crying at things that aren't real

for our entire lives, Britt. Yeah, but that's an animal, so it's different. So imagine what is going to happen if… E.T., all right? When he went back home… Don't start me on aliens because I believe in that. He wasn't real, okay? I think we're all getting too worked up over this.

Okay. We need to relax. So you think there's no problem with it? Do you know what? Honestly. Like literally taking everybody's jobs. It'll take your job. You've only been here 10 minutes.

AI is going to take your job. I'm backing up Tilly here. She's getting a bad rap. People are getting worked up over nothing. And do you know what? She doesn't care. She's a robot. But I just think, Britt,

I just think that we shouldn't be defending these millionaire actors over in Hollywood. They're going to be fine. Honestly. Do you know what though? This is interesting segue. A lot of Hollywood actors don't make that much money. Like there's about 1% of who you see in Hollywood that make money. There is a reason that you're seeing all these superstars selling like shampoos and things. It's because they actually don't make much money. I remember Rebel Wilson, we did a podcast episode with her

and I remember she told us that when she did Bridesmaids, remember that movie that was like huge number one she lost money on it she got paid three thousand dollars and then she had to pay her fees to like be a part of the actor memberships and all of that stuff and she ended up losing money i think that there's a perception just sell like her apartment for four million dollars or something she's doing fine now but but my point is and i'm not protecting hollywood i'm absolutely not like there are people that are filthy rich but i think that there's a misconception that every actor there is making bank because they're really not. And so it's like it's a really scary thing to think

that not only are the writers being replaced, ChatGPT will write you a script in 10 minutes. So not only are writers being replaced, producers are being replaced, actors are being replaced. Like where's the end? Like when is there going to be somebody that says, okay, cool, we've gone too far. So can you just confirm that we should also,

we shouldn't make cartoons because they're not real? and Mufasa, the Lion King, those poor lions right now in Africa, they're out of work right now because of the cartoons. No, they're out of work because they're being poached. Different. Well, this is a whole new story. It's different. Okay, so cool.

Grace, could you get me a different co-host, please, for the rest of Matt had a one-week trial and I think I'm going to can it. Hey, look, I was like, Matt's my new co-host. What's he going to want to talk about? And I thought, Taylor Swift, the life of a showgirl, the new album. I am converted. I would put my hand up and say back in the day, I would be the person saying, what's

all the fuss about? She's not that amazing. But do you know who converted me? Marley. Marley. Yeah, your daughter. I would drop her to daycare every morning. We would listen to the best of Taylor Swift.

And now I'm like, do you know what? She's pretty good. Do you want to know what I think is really interesting? This isn't what I wanted to talk about, but here we are. When Taylor like broke onto the scene when she was like 13 years old, right? It wasn't cool to like Taylor Swift. Like you were a bit of a loser. Like she was a bit of a nerd at the start.

and if you liked her, it just wasn't cool. But now it's like the coolest thing in the world to be a Swifty. It's like Crocs. Back in the day, they weren't cool. Look at them now. Taylor Swift is essentially like Crocs. She would hate that comparison. But she has just released A Life of a Showgirl,

which everyone is obsessing over. And something unusual for Taylor is she's doing a lot more interviews. So she's pretty private usually. Like she puts her Instas out, but she doesn't give a lot. But since she's been with Travis, she's been way more open. But there was a bit of like a moment with an interview she did a couple of days ago where she sort of shut something down really quickly. Have a listen to this.

Taylor, don't tell me this is your last album. What? No. I just saw some fans going, well, she's going to get married and then she's going to have children and then it's going to be the last album. A shockingly offensive thing to say. Absolutely. It is not the last album.

It's not why people get married. No, exactly. So that they can quit their job. Right. I think the fans were just panicking. Oh, I know. they love to panic sometimes, but it's like, I love the person that I am with because he loves what I do and he loves how much I am fulfilled by making art. I'm sure he also loves a billion

dollars in a bank account. But I did think, I actually get it. And I don't want to say that I'm similar to Taylor. I mean, we are in many ways. My husband, Ben, lives in Italy. Like we have been together three years, we're married and we've never lived together. and I am constantly getting this like when are you going to move there, why aren't you living with him, like why aren't you settling down, you're married now. And I was like, hey, guess what, because I also like my career. Like I don't think, why is it synonymous with like, oh,

you're married now that you have to go and give up everything you're passionate about, you know. So I don't want to sound dumb here but would you find it offensive if people would ask that question to you? Probably not as offensive as she found it. I feel like to me her response felt a bit like this is the hundredth time someone has said it to me. I felt like it was a bit of the straw that broke the camel's back.

Yeah. But it is. It's like people say to me all the time and I'm like, cool, because you know why? I like my job. I like being on radio. I like what I do here. Like I don't want to give that up just to support my husband

when I can support him from this side of the world as well. Although when I did marry Laura, I really did clear the schedule. I was like, I'm putting my feet up, I'm looking after the kids and I'm cooking dinner, nothing else. Yeah, and that's worked out well for you because here you are taking her job in. well britney i'm very excited to be here because we're about to do something very exciting today if you were listening and you were expecting a baby you're a soon-to-be parent

and you're struggling with a baby name give us a call because we will you and me on the pickup name your child on air i love this do you know i wanted to call my child that i don't have but the same name that i've called my dog and i was like maybe i'm not going to have a kid so i called my dog Delilah and now I can't use Delilah for a child. That's a rookie error. It is. Hey, I shot my shot too early. When it comes to naming your actual child, you can call Taylor Humphrey. She is a baby name consultant. And if you don't know what that is, here's a little listen. My name is Taylor Humphrey. I'm a professional baby name consultant. And today we are going to help this family find the perfect brother's name for big brother Harlow and big sister Frankie.

Harlow and Frankie are great examples of modern gender neutral names that have a bit of a vintage flair. I'm going to offer some off the wall suggestions. Harlow, Frankie and Whitaker, Galen, Teague, Bellamy, Callum or Banks. Sorry, people are paying her for that? They're paying big bucks. Like what kind of dollar? Well, she has a range of packages. Okay, so you can scale it up. What, you can get a middle name? You can scale, yeah, I mean, I think so. I mean, it starts from about $200 is like the base package, but it can go all the way up to a VIP treatment, which is worth $30,000. And she's doing pretty well. I mean, in 2020 alone,

she named over a hundred babies, pulling in, get this, $150,000. Oh my God. What happens if you have a hyphen in there? I mean, that's just big money. But as a parent, it's a really stressful task having to name the child like for Marley Lola Poppy all three many debates late night discussions between myself and Laura tension was high do you know what I'll say I don't know if I'll get in trouble for this but um you guys were so because obviously I work with Laura every day for the last six years we spent a lot of time together and you guys were so set on the third baby's name Poppy and then about a week out of giving birth I said how you feeling you still sold on Poppy and Laura said not really

She's like, not anymore. And I said, oh, are we revisiting the name? She goes, no, I can't be bothered. It's too stressful. So she's like, I'm still going to use it. But she almost unsold herself on it and then she was like, she needed a consultant. She needed Taylor right now.

But I think it makes a lot of sense and credit to Taylor because she's doing really well. And I don't think there's a lot of competition in this market except until now. You and me, Maddie. You and me, we are on the hunt for soon-to-be. For an unborn child? For newbie parents who may be at their wits' end.

Okay. The relationship is, it's stressful right now. So if you are struggling to find a baby now that you both agree on, if you're maybe on your third, fourth, fifth child and you have given up. If you're on your fifth child, give up. Stop it. But that's where we come in, Brit. And are we going to charge money for this?

No, we're not. Oh, we're not? Damn it. First time service, free of charge. Okay, second time though. Yes. Okay, are we going to split it or if it's a boy, are you going to do it? If it's a girl, I'm going to do it.

How are we going to do this? I think what we do, right, is when we find someone who calls in, we ask them a couple of questions we need twins a little a little backstory you suggest a name i suggest a name and then we give it to the parent to make the final decision okay this is exciting i'm down for this well there you go if you for some reason are in your pregnancy journey and cannot for the life of you think of a name let maddie j and britney hockley name your child that's that sounds like the worst idea i've ever had but i'm down for it let's do it you know why let taylor have all the fun okay we can jump on the bandwagon too we can start

naming babies and we put a call out to see if there were any people expecting a newborn who needed some help. And would you believe it? We have a caller. Here she is. Here's Lara. Welcome to The Pig Hub. And it is actually shocking that we did get a caller, someone that does want to let us name their baby. How far along in your pregnancy are you? I'm 27 and a half weeks. And yeah, my partner and I have just really gone back and forth and just don't know what to call our baby. Well, Lara, you've come to the right place and very exciting. As a first-time offer, we will not charge the $30,000 fee.

Today is free of charge. Oh, thank you so much. Not all heroes wear capes. Lara, is this your first child? Yeah, it's my first baby and I'm having a little baby boy. Oh, cute. Okay, well, this is what we're going to do. We're going to ask you a question each.

We're going to try and find out who you are deep in your soul and we're going to come up with a name. Lara, you're going to get two suggestions, okay? Then it's up to you. You don't have to pick it. You can have it marinate for longer, but we would love it if you would pick your favourite suggestion, mine or Brit. But first question is.

If you had to pick, are you more of a Taylor Swift or a Metallica kind of person? What a waste of a question. Metallica. Oh, my gosh. See, that's surprising. That changes a lot. Okay, Lara, what street did you grow up on?

The name of it, please. It was Thornton Road. Oh, okay. Thornton, Thornton. I thought it was a Thornton. Okay, that takes me to flowers. What's your favourite flower? My favourite flower would be a daisy.

Okay, if only you were having a girl. Do you have a favourite food, Lara? Favourite food would have to be tacos. Oh, you're my kind of a person. I'm a Mexican three times a week. Okay. So if you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be?

loyal, lioness, blunt and honest. Last question, if I may, Lara. I just want to know the name of your first pet. Christmas. It was a little rabbit. I love that. Okay. It's also a holiday.

Okay. You've lived quite the life, Lara. I'm not going to lie. You've not made this easy for us. Well, no. Do you know what? You laughed at my question, Matt, but I think my question was probably the one that differentiated this the most

because, like, there's a big difference between who you are if you're a Metallica or a T-Swift. So do you know what the names that came to my head straight away? This one's probably a bit more popular, but Leo, you said you're a lion and you're loyal. Oh, my gosh. I love that name. Hang on, hang on, Lara.

I've got two. I'm actually a Leo as well. I'm born in July. And do you know what? So am I. I'm 21st of August, so I'm a Leo as well. So I think we channeled that. And then I was afraid you might not love that one,

so I went a little bit left field in that two minutes that I had. and I've gone with something like Ezra and I know that's a bit different but something about when you went Metallica, I thought you needed something a little bit edgy. Yeah, so I've gone with Leo and Ezra. Yeah, Ezra I'm not. All right, let's pretend that didn't happen with Leo. It's a little hard for me.

Okay, Metallica. Okay, Lara, they were adequate suggestions from Brit but we saved the best till last. I'm just going to come out right now. I've gone for a hyphenation as well, just to manage your expectations. That's because you want double the money. And I've also thrown in the middle name as well. So I'm just going to come out.

I'm going to give it to you. Here it is. The best name you've ever going to come up with. It's Thorny D. Thistle. It sounds very different, like very close to something else. Thorny, yes. Which would be inappropriate for a child, yes. You can't call a kid Thorny Thistle.

He's going to get so bullied. It's horny hyphen D, like D for the daisy. Yeah, but you know it sounds like horny D. Okay. It does. Yeah, I have to agree. Is there a favourite? What's your pick?

Yes, there is a favourite. I think I fell in love with it the first, yeah, moment you said it and it was Leo. Yeah. And I actually bought a little Leo Lion soft toy for the baby today. Oh, my gosh. So it's actually all kind of. I'm such a believer in the universe.

I talk about the universe all the time. There is definitely a – You never talk about the universe. I do. I'm a believer. And I think the energy you have put out there today, the fact that this happened, you've called me organically, I'm a Leo and I felt that and I said that name,

like I think that's what it's got to be. I feel like such an awkward third wheel right now. I'll leave you guys to it. Lara, thank you so much and congratulations. Please let us know, call us, if you end up having a baby and calling it Leo. I will, I will. Thank you.

All right, thank you. Britt, I love being here because I get to air some dirty laundry, okay? I get to be honest and own up to the mistakes that I've made throughout the week. And I've made a very embarrassing one recently. I love this for you. You know why? Because it's a choice. You don't have to come in and out yourself on National Live Radio, but I love that you

want to. Well, I just feel like it clears the conscience. Does it? Yeah, it does. Because I keep a lot of stuff secret. And that's the problem. You're so weighed down by it. So recently the weather has really warmed up.

It is, yeah. It's beautiful. And what do we love doing with warm weather? Going to the beach. Also playing in the backyard. Okay. The beach is great. But it was a hot day and we were in the backyard playing with the water.

Our neighbours were also in their backyard. They've got two young kids. Okay. And their kids love playing with our kids. And so over the fence I was like, hey, guys. Come play in our water. Come play. There's water for everyone.

Okay. So they brought their kids over. Isn't this what people spend years teaching their kids not to go and play with strangers when they say, come play with my water? I'm not a stranger, Britt. I'm not just pulling kids off the street. They're our neighbours. We have a relationship.

We get along well. They're lovely. The kids get along. And it's really nice being in a street where you can invite the neighbours over and you have kids play together. It's a really beautiful moment. I imagine. It sounds wholesome.

And as the kids were playing, you know, you get those shells that are filled with water. Like a toy? No, those big shells. you have like little ponds almost. Oh yeah, like a pond shell. Come on, Britt. I don't have kids. I don't play with water in my yard. I'm sorry. I'm trying to stay with you, but I think I can imagine it. So you have these little shells and they're just like, you know, ankle deep water and kids love just playing with little toys in there. And as they often do, the kids were getting bored with the toys. And so I thought I'm going to run back inside and I'll grab a couple more

little toys just to make sure the kids are entertained for longer because that's the kind of caring parent that I am. Yeah. Okay, so I grabbed something and I thought, I haven't seen this toy before but it looks like a lot of fun. I'm sure the kids will enjoy playing with it. So I ran outside. I threw it in the little pond for the kids and they loved it.

They were grabbing with it and squirting it and having a great time. And Laura looked at me with a really concerned facial expression. What? Crammed. I was like, what's the problem here? It's not like I've grabbed a serrated knife. You know, the kids are having a good time. It was a chainsaw.

Everyone's happy. And she pulls me over and she goes, where did you grab that from? And I said, it was in the top drawer in the bathroom. And she goes, do you know what that is? And I go, yeah, it's like a water pistol. What is that? Okay. I don't know if you know what this is.

I don't know. I had no idea. Oh, you've brought it in. It's like show and tell. You brought it in. What is that? A doucher? A douche?

It's a fanny flusher. It's a perennial flusher. After you give birth to a child, it's a nice, delicate way of just washing your bits. It looks like a giant toy electric toothbrush. I thought that's what I thought it was. I thought it was just like a novelty size toy electric toothbrush. So what do you do with that? I mean, I know what you do with it, but why does she have it?

Well, because she's just given birth. Oh, you do it post-birth. It's like a postnatal washer for your bits because it's, you know, obviously very delicate downstairs. and I've thrown it in and the next-door neighbour who's three has got this in their hands running around squirting everyone in my backyard. And then so you have to go take it off of them.

You're like, that's actually not for you to play with. Well, I didn't want to upset her so I let her continue playing with it. Oh, my God. If you're going to make these, label them because idiots like me have no idea. Okay, in my defence, I also didn't know but it would have been a bit of an alarm bell that you had to go and rustle through

like the bathroom drawers when your wife has just given birth as well. Like toys don't belong in the bathroom drawers. We have three kids, Britt. We have toys everywhere. You know, this reminds me of a story Laura recently told me on the podcast. I don't know if we're going to tell it here, but yeah, why not? Wasn't it not that long ago that your little daughter Lola, who is like four, mistook something in the bedside table

for like a little massage toy? Yeah, it's like a minefield at my house. You don't know what you're grabbing. The kids can't go in. No one can have play days at your house anymore. That's the only story I've gotten from it. Britt, I'm going to come right out and just tell you that I've been attacked.

Oh, physically, mentally, spiritually? Not physically, just it was a verbal attack. So recently for school holidays we were down the south coast and you've just finished the renovation of the house and the gardening is now complete. Well, congratulations. Thank you very much. I don't know where you're going.

I appreciate that. But I was out the front of the house and I was watering the garden, okay, watering the flowers. I'm on the edge of my seat with this story. Okay, and we're new to the neighbourhood as well. There's a lot of people who walk by, walk into the beach and they look in because we've just finished, they kind of have a few words and, you know, congratulate us and also talk about the old owner

and obviously I'm more than willing to have the conversation because I want to fit in amongst the neighbourhood. You want to be accepted, of course. I want to be accepted. I'm a man of the people. And this old man, he was meandering down the road. I saw him in a distance and I clocked him about 500 metres away, arms behind his back.

Oh, the wonder. As he slowly walked towards me. And look, a lot of the people in the neighbourhood, they are a little bit older. But I love that. But you also know when the hands behind the back, it means something else. It means they're taking things in more.

They are digesting everything. They're like sponges. They are. If your hands are in front, it's less intense. No time. Hands behind the back, big old sponge. They want to absorb it all in. And as he was walking closer to the house, we connected.

Our eyes locked, okay, as I was there watering back and forth in the garden beds. And I kind of knew to myself, this old guy, I haven't spoken to him yet. I haven't seen him. It's the first time. We're going to have a little interaction here. We're going to have a little chat. And you had time to prepare because he walked very slowly.

Yeah, I was there for 45 minutes waiting for him to hobble down the road. But then he came closer towards me and I said, G'day, mate. How are you going? And he said, I'm good. how are you? And I was settling in for a long chat. And by this time- You'd put your hands behind your back. I was one hand on the hose, one hand behind the back. And I was settling in for a good

five, 10 minute chat with a lovely member of the neighborhood. It's another one to tick on the box to say they approve of Maddie J living here. And then he said something which it cut me like a knife, like a dagger straight through the heart. What? He said you had a dad bod? No, worse than that, Brit, worse than that. He said, is that all the water pressure you've got? And I said, what do you mean? And he goes, well, it just looks a little weak,

if you know what I'm saying. And I was like. Oh, he dissed you. Well, he dissed me and the water pressure. It was on sprinkle mode, wasn't it? There were flowers in the front garden bed and I didn't want to damage the flowers with a strong hose and the water pressure So I had the hose turned only half on.

I know the one, the light sprinkle spray. It was a gentle sprinkle because I was considerate of the flowers. Totally, I'm with you. And I explained that to him and he goes, sure. And he put his other hand behind his back and he walked off into the distance. Oh, and you're really hurt by him judging. So do you think he judges you as a person now by your water pressure? Yeah, I think he was judging my manhood based on the water pressure

that I was watering the garden. Because you didn't kill those flowers straight up. And I was saying, I can go harder if I wanted to. Laura, turn the tap. But I'm doing this for the flowers. Do you know, this reminds me, talking about someone that is offensive and doesn't mean to be. Maybe he actually meant to be.

I don't know. Maybe he came in with that dagger. They were fighting words. There was a woman that had messaged me just before my wedding recently and she said, oh, I can't remember how she said it, but it was like basically you're a two-in-one. Because I'd been talking about if I had a pregnancy right now, it's classified as a geriatric pregnancy

because that's what my fertility doctor told me. I'm 37. Well, actually, I'm 38. I was 37 at the time. So she goes, oh, you're like a double whammy. Not only are you a geriatric pregnancy, you're a geriatric bride. Oh, my gosh. And I was like, sorry, what?

She was like, but you're beautiful, like a beautiful one. So she wasn't trying to be mean. But I was like, just because you say beautiful at the end, it's like when someone goes, no offense. At least you got you were beautiful. He didn't even mention anything about the flowers, just the water pressure. Didn't even talk about your six pack?

I know. Oh, ridiculous. Free stuff, water in the garden. Give me something. Sell up. You've got to move. Hey, Matt, I didn't think I'd ever say this, but I do want your advice on something.

I want that, like, male-esque advice. So it's been a while since you and I, more you, have been in the dating world. We've been together, Laura and myself. Eight years. Maybe nine. No, you just had your eight-year anniversary. Okay, thank you.

Thank God you're here. Yeah, look, Matt and I were both on The Bachelor at separate times. Matt had a happy ending I got dumped I got thrust into the dating world and it was pretty ugly for a couple of years but we've been off the scene

for a while but this is like I kind of am living vicariously and giving advice to my friends all the time that are still single because I was deep in it for like 10 years

but I tell you what it's a wild world out there my friend was telling me this morning that she had been talking to this guy for two weeks banter was great

like are you writing notes over there? he's like writing them down two weeks yeah Yeah, banter was great. The chemistry was there. They'd had phone calls like to check that it wasn't just like written banter.

They went on a date. He asked her, hey, like let's meet up for drinks. Do you know what I used to do back in the day? What? I would, after a few texts, I would just spring on a phone call just to check, to test the waters. My husband sprung a phone call on me after about four minutes of texting. Sink or swim.

FaceTime. Right. Not even a call. FaceTime. He wanted the video. And it worked? Oh, lucky I was on point that day. Yeah, I happened to be going out, so I pretended like I wasn't.

Anyway, we're getting off the cuff here. So he says, hey, let's go for drinks. It's been a great vibe. Yeah, great first date. Love that. He sets the place, like his choice. They get to the place. They get to the bar.

Not a cheap bar, quite like medium to high end, fancy. A cocktail lounge, if you will. Exactly. Thank you. Cocktail lounge. They're three to four drinks in and some canapes, like olives, like little bits and pieces that you're paying for, but they haven't had a meal as such.

But, you know, what's cocktail these days? 22 bucks a cocktail. Jesus Christ. Yeah. So anyway, great. banter laughing 22 dollars for the cocktail and there's like four to five and then as it was like looking like it was wrapping up he all of a sudden pulled out his phone and goes oh my god that happened so quickly my uber's already here sorry i didn't think it was gonna be so quick

said goodbye and just ran out the door to get in this uber lumped her with the bill yeah so didn't just get up didn't be like oh my god i'm so sorry i've got to run here's the money or whatever, didn't say anything, right? In her head, she's like, hang on, is this happening? Did he just do that? And then he messaged her about 10 minutes later saying, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. It slipped my mind that I didn't pay.

Now, I'm sorry. I am calling BS. Who thinks that they can go to dinner and drinks and then forget? Like, what's the vibe here? And then he's like, look, I'm so sorry. I just forgot. Like, I hope that's okay. In his defence, I have gotten in a taxi before,

gotten to my destination and just hopped out and I've forgotten to pay because you're so used now to having your credit card details saved. Maybe he thought it was like Uber Eats and he just forgot that he had to go to the bar and actually pay for it. Maybe. No, I think.

Okay, well, can I ask you this question then? Well, I was like, would you ever, if you did that to somebody, you're not into it, are you? No one's actually forgetting to pay. Like, do you give him the benefit of the doubt or do you like, you're a dog? Do you know what I would do? I would go on a second date and I think you have to test

if he's going to be two from two, okay? But I would go somewhere not as expensive, not a cocktail lounge. I would go somewhere like a fast food chain. What if he did it again though? Yeah, okay. If he does it twice, absolutely. You cut ties. You walk away.

Delete the number, okay? He's also 40. You know better. Like you know what happens when you go to drinks. You know that you have to pay for what you consume as a consumer. When you get old, you become forgetful. Oh, what kind of side are you on? Well, I just want to put –

So you'd tell her to give him a second date. I just think it is so hard to find someone who you really connect with when you're on the same page, same energy, the banter, the chemistry. You want it to be electric. When you find that, you don't want to just discard it straight away. The first little road bump, you can't just throw it in. All right, reverse this, right? You've gone on a date.

She turns up. She smashes some food. She smashes some drinks and then she gets up literally. It's like, oh, my God, that's so weird. My Uber seat runs out and then message you and it's like, I forgot to pay. Would you give her a second date? Because I think you'd have the ear.

Absolutely. Look at Laura. Didn't pay for a single thing on The Bachelor. Neither did you. I made money, but that's not the point. All right. Well, you guys be safe out there. Let's not take Matt's advice.