Life Uncut - The Best Of The Pick Up - We need to talk about Tim from MAF'S

Episode Date: February 2, 2025

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. What's on the show Building resilience in kids Ben joins us from Italy Can you parent another persons kid?  We have feelings about Tim from MAFS Bonnie Blue vs a teenager's mum Laura's Beef with Matt You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode is recorded on Gavigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. We just got scolded by producer Grace. She said, would you guys just shut up? She's like, hurry up and start. Laura and I actually have a lot of off-air banter and then sometimes Grace is just like, can you just get recorded? Who doesn't have ever believed that we actually speak to each other when the microphones aren't on? Well, we don't always. Also, I like that you're like, we have off-air banter,

which would just be talking to each other as friends. It's such a thing to say when, I guess, in a way, you have to produce content. Like when your job is radio, we always try and save the good parts. So Laura and I are always not telling each other the stories that happen to us so that we can do it on air. So sometimes it is like, yeah, it's off-air banter. Yeah, like the time that you didn't tell anyone

that you were engaged for five days. It was like eight days. So it was actually longer. all right well look for anyone who doesn't know but i know that you do know now because you've seen the artwork thank you to everybody who validated me by saying that you noticed the episodic changes in the artwork after i mentioned it on last episode but i'm really trying so i'm going to keep on talking about it this is the pickup episode where we package up all the best bits from the radio show of the week and we bring them here so it's kind of like life uncut but just

like small snappy little segments that yeah the rest of australia have to listen to as well well this week i already told you unless you haven't heard it my fiance ben moved countries like within a couple of days did you tell everyone how you also forgot his birthday let me explain it was ben's birthday on friday and i forgot and i got to three o'clock we were on radio and i had that moment where i was like hang on surely that's not the date i don't know what made me think of it i always knew the date of his birthday it's the 31st what star sign is he the water one Aquarius yeah he's got a tattoo of it actually well we love him he's unique we love you we love you Ben but um I had that moment where I was like holy shit is it the 31st

and Laura's talking we're on air and I looked down at my phone and I was like it's his birthday my saving grace is the time difference he lives on the other side of the world so I was like he hasn't even woken up yet I was like this is brilliant he doesn't know it's his birthday yet He doesn't know I've forgotten. But he knows now because he listens to every single episode. So we love you, Ben. Happy birthday. I don't want anyone to think I'm a B-I-T-C-H.

I did buy him a present in advance. So he has got his present. I just, I can't send him anything because he doesn't have an address now. He lives in no man's land. He moved countries and he doesn't live anywhere. They don't have addresses in Italy. So like. No, because he's in a random hotel.

So that's, I don't want, yeah. I love you, Ben. Anyway, what I was going to say is Ben came on the show today. So Ben called in and we did speak to him live and it was very wholesome and very beautiful and we got the lowdown. We did on his big move from Romania to Italy. And also we had a child specialist who's someone who's a friend of the show. Her name's Michelle Mitchell and she has written a book all about resilience in children.

The reason why we spoke to her is because you guys might remember I was talking about how Lola has started at a new daycare and she just is not and has not been coping with the change. I'm very happy to say that she's actually doing a little bit better than she was when we did speak to Michelle earlier in the week but I knew we could ride it out yeah you just gotta stay strong ride her into the ground she'll come back you're like this is resilience building you're gonna thank me for this one day um it's been so hard and this conversation I think is particularly helpful for any parents who listen to the podcast who either have kids who have changed daycare and

they've had to struggle with that really hard transition or also if you have young kids and they're starting school this year you know going from preschool or going from being at home care to going into kindergarten is just such a huge transition and our household is doing both of them simultaneously with like Marley going to school and Lola has just started a new daycare with one parent and Matt is currently away so like if you're going to change something in a kid's routine just fuck it all up real hard all at once and that's what we did yeah and you still want to have that third okay cool I know I know I know how much this like petrifies you doesn't it Yeah, it makes me feel unwell.

Every time I bring it up with Brit that I want to have a third kid, it's met with fear. Because your head's just bobbing above the surface right now. So I'm like, okay. I thrive in chaos. Yeah. Thrive. Thrives.

Look at a thesaurus maybe. I survive in chaos. Yeah, that's better. That's better. Anyway, guys, let's get into the show. You might have heard that I was speaking about my daughter Lola who's just started at a new daycare and she is having a truly horrible time transitioning to a new daycare. Not only is she having a hard time, but as a parent, I am having a horrible, horrible

time. And as a parent's friend and business partner, I'm having a hard time. Well, there's nothing worse as a parent leaving your child somewhere and having them be sad and cry for you. And with school coming up very soon, there's going to be a lot of parents across the country who are going to be dropping their kids off for school on the very first day. And we have Michelle Mitchell with us. Now, she is a child expert. We've had her on the show many times and she's written an incredible book around building resilience in children. And the big question is, is this resilience building or is it a time when a parent needs to swoop in and help them? Michelle, welcome back to the show. Oh, thanks for having me, Laura. And it's

such a privilege to talk about your little four-year-old. I mean, aren't they so precious at this age? Oh, she's the best. Almost four, counting down to a birthday. Or Michelle, what do you think? I mean, do you think this is relatively normal to be this excessively upset like all night after and all morning? It can be, okay? It can be. And only Laura can really answer this. So if you'll step into my office, Laura, I have three questions for you. Will you answer these for me? Absolutely. I think the first question you want to ask yourself is how big does this feel for you? Because that's normally a mirror of how big that feels for our kids. So if our kids were leaving high school or leaving school or getting married, you know,

it would pull on our heartstrings in exactly the same way. So let's not minimize it because there's three going on four. So how big does it feel for you? Give me a number between one and 10 being like, I can't cope with this anymore. It's funny you say that, Michelle, because when we left, like I think any mom kind of knows that you become very close with the daycare or the place that your kids are at and the last day that we had at her old daycare I was in tears because I didn't I don't want her to change it was more a decision that Matt had made and I think potentially she has seen how upset I have gotten over the process and I probably haven't set her up for being I think we did everything right to start with we were trying to be excited

but now as she's getting distressed I'm getting more distressed about it and so I think it's just escalating each other. So you would be almost better off vocalizing those things like, I'm really missing your old daycare teachers right now. Are you missing them? Because I think you and your daughter are mirroring some of those feelings. So my next question for you would be in your gut and to the best of your knowledge, is she safe where she is? Does that kind of have checks and balances in place? And do you think it's a good place? Yeah, it's no, it's a fantastic daycare. Like it is a fantastic, fantastic school. I think I'm just so used to the familiarity that even for me, I was like, I hate change. Now she's so little and she has to go through that change

herself. You do hate change. That's true. It's really easy to blame ourselves for everything. So we don't want to get too, too sort of like internally focused with it. And I taught grade one a long time ago, but I'd always say to parents, don't tell your kids that you are going to leave them now or drop them off. You aren't leaving them. You're not dropping them anywhere. You're actually deliberately intentionally transferring them to me. So you say something like your teachers are going to look after you now. I'm going to be at work and I'm going to be right here at three o'clock. Michelle, the question is like Laura's trying to decide if she stuck it out for a couple of weeks now. Does she think is it going to change for Lola? Is she going to ease

in eventually? Or if she's still this upset after this couple of weeks, should Laura be taking her back to the old daycare? You can introduce some strategies like leave a heart in her pocket strategy so let me tell you about this one so when you drop her off laura have a little red love heart piece of paper cut up and give it to her and say to her um sweet i want you to put this in your pocket and anytime you feel unsure or anytime you feel a little bit like you're missing mommy i want you to put your heart in hand in your pocket and i want you to remember that i'll be thinking of you all day oh it's so sweet but what that does is it gives your teacher a chance to loop into that.

And so your teacher, if she knows your daughter's, like, feeling anxious, she can go over to her and say, put your hand in your pocket, honey. What's your mummy doing right now? She's thinking about you. She's loving you. Michelle, why are you so wonderful? Oh, my God.

Laura's crying. I'm crying. Okay, so we're going to try the heart thing before we pull her out, Laura. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to have to take over this interview. I'm a stay-at-home mum now, everyone. Laura, just quit. Thanks, Michelle.

Laura, quit. Like I said, it's something that so many parents go through. I think it's something that hits working parents particularly hard because you don't have an option and the whole, you know, like maybe take them in later or pick them up earlier and make the day shorter and it's like all that's great in theory but when you have a job that you have to be at that doesn't allow you to do those things, you just feel like you're such a crap parent

and you're not doing a good job and it's really hard to navigate. You are doing a bloody good job. You are. Hopefully those kids turn out okay. Well, a couple of years, we'll find out. Well, if anyone wants to get more of Michelle, she's written some incredible books, Everyday Resilience Journal, and she's sold over 100,000 copies worldwide.

So go and pick that up. Your tears are so cute. We need to talk about maths. I know all of Australia has been talking about this the last two days or so, but Tim and Katie, one of the couples on there, Tim has, I don't want to put this label on him, but he's sort of turned into one of the most hated people in Australia for now. I think that will be taken away from him in a couple of days.

Well, lucky for Ray Gunn because now it's shifted to someone else. Until she does a breakdance again. It's hard to explain what happened if you haven't seen it, but basically they got matched, they pretended that it was all well and good, and then Tim has been caught. Well, it's not really caught. He's on a show where he's microphoned. They aired a conversation that Tim went and had with a producer

telling his real feelings about what he thought of his new bride. Have a listen to this. Totally not what I wanted. If I normally go in just short, petite, blonde or brunette, like, Katie's nothing what normally I'd go for. Just no attraction. I'm shattered. I was just like, as soon as I was up there, I was like,

****, it's disappointing. Yeah, I'm a bit embarrassed, like, that I've come here now. You can't judge someone right away from that short amount of time. Like, I don't want to be here. I'm just like, you need to find out why you're being mad. Yeah, I don't know. You've five minutes. I know, I know.

You've completely cut this woman off. But I just feel like I've wasted my time. I just want to run away. Oh, OK, George Clooney, calm down. Sit down. George Clooney would never be so mean. Don't say such things. It's not just that he was caught saying this off camera.

It was quite a few things that he did throughout the wedding. I just think if you've gotten to this situation, you're on TV, you know what the experiment is, you know you're not going to know who they are. There is a possibility you don't like them. You still be a decent human being. You still show a level of respect. And then maybe after it, you say, hey, I don't think it's for me. There was a moment on there where I died inside for her. I died inside. He was ignoring it all night. He wasn't touching her. He wasn't really talking to her, turning his back to her. And then they have to get up and cut the wedding cake. And she pulls the knife out and there's some crumbs on it and then she leans her cheek out and taps her cheek

as in like kiss me on the cheek because just if there's crumbs on it you're supposed to kiss the nearest man or woman like your partner and he doesn't even give her a peck on the cheek he in front of all of her family and friends he goes oh nah nah like that and she's left mortified and in that moment I was like bro I kiss on the cheek in this situation to save face a little bit come on. Okay. I haven't seen it. I have not seen it. And so I can't have strong opinions, but I have read a lot of stuff recently and I know everyone is very angry. Maybe I'm going to get canned for saying this, but when you say that, I almost, part of me is like, don't lead her on. If you don't want to kiss her, you shouldn't be in a situation where you have to kiss someone or you

have to do something that like gives them the impression that you're maybe attracted to them and want to be with them, et cetera, et cetera. Firstly, I, yes, I think he sounds like an absolute jerk. I think he sounds like a pig. He's cancelled his social media. He's refusing to do any interviews at all and has totally shunned the show because he's obviously realised how he's come across and how he's been depicted. But I do think it is a rock and a hard place when you do this show if you do get to the end of the aisle and you are just not attracted to the person you're partnered with. In a normal world, if you went on a date with someone and you didn't feel any spark, no one would be telling you to give it a go it's only because it's the premise of the show

that you've signed up for giving it a go regardless whoever it is at the end of that aisle I agree with that I know I know and I'm like I do kind of I fall on this sort of like opinion that well if you signed up for the show you've made the commitment to give it a go the smallest part of me does think god that would be really hard if you actually weren't attracted but you can still not be an arsehole yeah that's what I'm saying I agree with that you do not have to be forced to anything if you don't feel a connection but it's the way you treat someone in that situation like you don't go on a date if you go on a first date and you know you're not vibing it you don't get up and walk out of the middle of the dinner you don't say hey you know what sorry not my vibe

they don't reach out to say thank you and give you a hug goodbye and you don't recoil like you still act like a respectable human being if you know I'm sorry Tim if you're listening if you know he's not doing interviews he wouldn't come on the show anyway so whatever Tim but this is where my problem is i respect that there was no connection for you i got dumped on the bachelor because someone said they didn't want me get it but you can still do it in a respectable way you know you're on national television you know that moment is going to humiliate the woman that you are with just get through the day and be a nice person you both tried something it didn't work cool also him saying that he's embarrassed it's like what are you embarrassed about you're

embarrassed because you were partnered with someone that you're not attracted to that's not the type that you would normally go for says a lot more about you than it does about the situation or what you're experiencing. And what I would like to say is looks are the smallest part of dating. I'm sorry. I have dated people that I wasn't attracted to physically at the start, got to know them, and literally fell in love with people. I was like, wow, you're so funny.

Your morals are so great. We get along so well. I've seen how you treat your family. You know, there's one person I actually lived with. He was my flatmate for a while, many, many moons ago. Don't shit where you eat, Brit. Well, no, I had no attraction to him physically at all, which is why it was a perfect situation.

I was like, cool, there is a nothing here. And we ended up dating after about four months because I was like, you're actually such a great human. Was it COVID and there was just like he was within your five-kilometer radius or whatever it was? He was AI. I don't know. I think I take it all with a grain of salt, that show.

Yeah, totally. But we needed something to fire up about today. Okay, we're going to talk about Bonnie Blue for a second. Now I know she's been spoken about a lot. If you don't know who Bonnie Blue is, she is the OnlyFans creator who is like setting the world record for sleeping with a thousand people in 24 hours. She also got like deported from Australia because she was the one that rocked up at schoolies and was trying to bed as many schoolies boys as she possibly could, which was just

gross. Well, this isn't what we're talking about, but also just the math is wild. She slept with 1,057 men in 24 hours. And if you do the math, that's 43 seconds to be with each man. Wow. 43 seconds. Why would you bother? I think it was 12 hours.

It wasn't even 24. No, that's not possible. That's 40. No. Oh, my God, it is. Producer Grace. So there are only 720 minutes in 12 hours, which means she'd be 43 seconds per person.

That's insane. It also seems like, I mean, we're all here for an endurance feat, love a marathon, whatever, but, like, you cause yourself physical harm doing this. Hang on. This isn't even what I want to talk about. I don't know if I should be laughing but you know like growing up your parents embarrass you as teenagers and stuff like this this kid has had the most embarrassing moment of his life so this

kid is in the lineup to sleep with Bonnie Blue he's one of the 1000 people lined up he's 19 years old okay so he's an adult he's not a child but he's still technically well yeah you know he's technically an adult but he's he's 19 like if you still have a teen at the end of your age then I mean, lucky. Then you still have natural collagen. Good for you. He's in the line up to sleep with Bonnie Blue. And there is another like TikTok influencer there that has gone

to interview men and he has caught this whole moment on camera. This 19-year-old's mum figures out where he is and goes to collect him. Have a listen. Put your clothes on and come. Otherwise I'll get the police to come for you. Put on your clothes now and come out. Come out of here now. He's coming.

He's lost his coat. Where's your coat? Where's your coat? Find your coat. He's coming. Good on her. Good on her. Put your clothes on or I'll call the police.

So there's a longer video if you guys want to look it up. It's everywhere. It goes longer than that. So she comes in to the thousand people and she's like, where's my son? She's like calling out. And people are like, oh, he's coming. Like literally like making cheeky jokes. Anyway, she's yelling till she finds him.

He says he's not going to come. He says, I'm 19. I've signed the consent form. I'm not going. because there's a thousand other men sitting there looking at them. How emasculating for the poor boy. Anyway, she ends up having a full dig, drags him out and he leaves. He leaves in front of everyone and he doesn't get to sleep with Bonnie Blue.

Look, I mean, there's one thing for being an overbearing parent, but if this was me, if I was a mum and my kid was 19 years old and I found out that they were lining up to do this, I think I would do the same. I think that any mum would turn around and do the same thing and it's purely because I think about a 19-year-old not fully understanding the digital footprint that they're leaving behind of themselves because every single one of these like sexual encounters are filmed and then it's like repurposed online

that's how she makes money from it so yes I understand signing the consent forms and maybe for some people like it might not have any ramifications but I also think like you're making a big decision that could impact you for the rest of your life what if he turns out he wants to be a politician or a doctor or a barrister at one point in his life and this comes back to Bite him in the arse. At least his mum was there to protect him. Thanks, mum. The internet is on your side as well.

The internet is saying that this mum was 100% justified. And I think she was too. I would do the same to my 19-year-old. The difference is I think one day he will thank her, his mum. Oh, yeah, not now. One day he is going to say, whew, thank you for saving me from that one, mum, for filming my sex tape. But right now, as being the face of the person that got dragged out of the sex

line-up for Bonnie Blue, he's not doing this. They're not giving him any street credit, put it that way. I will never forget when I was like 19 years old and I'd met this guy who I'd started dating. I told my mum where I was going because we'd been seeing each other for a little while. And she was like, look, if you're going to have sleepovers with a new person, I at least just want to know the address. So I gave her the address of this guy that I had started seeing. And my mum had tried to call me a few times and it wasn't like a lot of time had passed. It was only a couple of hours and I hadn't answered the phone, probably because I was busy, mum.

Anyway, we were like hanging out in his apartment and then someone was at the door banging on the door and he went to answer the door and it was my nana. It wasn't my mum. My nan was at the door and she was like, is Laura Bairn here? Bless her soul. Rest in peace.

Laura's busy. My nan came to collect me at 20 years old from the guy that I'd hooked up with and I really liked him. Was there an emergency? Nothing. I just hadn't answered my phone for an hour and a half. To be fair though, flip this. No.

I'm sort of on your nan's side. If my kid was with a strange person and they weren't answering their phone, I listen to a lot of crime TV and podcasts, so I'm on that side, I would want to go and make sure they were okay too. My mum didn't come. My mum sent her mum to come and get me, okay? I remember the time I was absolutely mortified, but looking back, had I listened to my nana,

that would have saved me six years of my life because that's how long I ended up in a relationship with that man. Well, there you go. Brit, do you think it is ever appropriate to step in and parent someone else's child? Absolutely. Oh, good. Answered.

Was that the right answer? We can go home now. Goodbye, everybody. Thanks for listening. It's been a great show. No, I was walking home the other day and there were these two little girls who had their scooters on the footpath, right? Like two little girls in helmets.

Can only assume that they were sisters because they looked very similar to each other, but I don't know them. They're complete strangers to me, so they may not have been sisters. But they were scootering along at quite a fast pace, and I reckon one of them was probably around 10 years old and the other one maybe seven, right? So the 10-year-old, the 10-year-old went over. I'm trying to see where this is going to go.

Were they speeding? Did you give them a ticket? They were going really fast. That wasn't the story though. The 10-year-old went over a little divot in the pavement, right, and she lost control of her scooter and she smashed straight into the younger one, the 7-year-old, and the poor 7-year-old went absolutely flying.

Like she flew over the handlebars and down the pavement. And so I ran up and I was like, oh, my God, are you okay? And I went to help her. This kid was so filled with rage at her sister. You know when you just hate your sister because you know that it's their fault, whatever's happened? She stood up and she was like, Sarah. And then she kicked her sister straight in the vagina.

Straight in the crotch right in front of me. And this was all playing out. So then the sister started crying. Where are the parents? I'm guessing that they must have lived close by. They might have just been scootering to the park. But anyway, one kid's crying. The other one's just gotten kicked in the crotch.

And I just found myself that I turned around and I snapped into parenting mode. And I was like, hey, you don't kick your sister. We don't kick our sister. She's like, she's my frigging sister. I don't know these children. Funnily enough, I was also with my sister. She was very closely behind me. And as we walked away, Alicia is her name.

She turned around to me and she was like, that was real weird of you. Why did you get involved? But what did you say when you scolded her for kicking her sister in the vagina? Were you like, don't kick her in the vagina, waist down? No, I was like, stop kicking your sister. We don't kick our sisters. And then I realised I said that because that's what I would say to my own two children. Did they respond?

She just looked at me like, who the hell are you to tell me what to do? Like she looked at me the way that I would have looked at someone who yelled at me that I didn't know. she was just confused and then continued getting angry at her sister and then rode a little scooter away like none of them listened to me sounds like my own children actually no one listens to me I think that that's absolutely fine I think that it's okay to say that you didn't get involved you didn't lay hands but I think it's okay just you didn't like I think it's okay to say you can't hit or punch someone sister or not I think that's totally fine it'd be different if you grabbed it by the hair and like swung around or something but no you that was harmless harmless discipline

Yeah, but also it's kind of one of those situations where you're like, not my clowns, not my circus. Like I don't need to involve myself in this sibling spat. I could have just walked away. Oh, I thought you were going to say you gave them like a speeding ticket because they were scooting too fast. So I kicked the other one in the crotch. Mate, parenting is hard.

I wish someone else would step in every so often and parent my kids for me. Your other parent maybe? He's not here. He's in the celebrity jungle at the moment. Anyway. well if you were listening to us yesterday I shared some pretty huge news about my fiance and I probably not what you're thinking but Ben my fiance just got a brand new transfer he plays football he lives in Romania usually so we're very long distance very long distance but he just got

the dream football transfer to Italy I haven't even really spoken to Ben because of the time difference it all happened yesterday and I've literally not really got the lowdown on his first day so I got him on radio here he is live on the pickup Ben welcome hello guys good morning hi Ben okay so this all happened very quickly one day you're living in Romania and 24 hours later you've been contracted to play in Italy why did you want to leave and what is it about playing over there that like gets you so excited so I literally had six hours to pack so I was told that midnight and then I was told by the people in charge that the plane leaves at 8am.

That's crazy. So I had about a few hours to pack and it's a great move for me personally because of the size of the club and personally me as an athlete, I always strive to play at the highest level. And my wife really wants me to go. Yes, and my wife wants to eat carbonara

for the rest of her life. What happens to all the stuff that you had in Romania? Like packing up your life in eight hours sounds just simply insane. Yeah, so half of it is on the bedroom floor, I think. Half of it is packed up in bags and put somewhere in the corner. So I just about managed to empty the fridge so there are no surprises if I do get a day off and come back.

There's nothing living in my fridge. Britt, you did share yesterday, we spoke about this on Life Uncut podcast and you got really emotional about something. The fact that sometimes these really big life milestones happen and when you're doing long distance, you don't get to be there with your partner or be there to support your partner. this is what you had to say. I could cry now thinking about it. He sent me like photos of him and his manager taking the, like usually family members, I'm really sad. Usually like

partners and family are there and it's a really big, nice moment that you sign and you're there together and they always get photos and I'll just never get to do that with Ben. And so he just sent me photos of him alone and just with his agent and like, I should have been there and it was really upsetting because I was like, I should be there with you. How do you, especially for you, Ben like how do you guys navigate these periods doing long distance and not being able to be there for each other yeah I think it's really hard because if there is news you want to share it with your partner immediately and obviously with the time difference as well sometimes there's like eight nine hours in between of sharing happy news and sad news so obviously luckily it was happy

news so it's um it's a strange run because obviously we support each other so much in our careers respectively and you know you you want to share it with your partner so i i really wanted brit to be here and share this moment with me because she's a huge part of my success that i have and i'd like to think i inspire and support brit as much as i can uh you know when you guys won accolades and and as proud as anyone because i know you guys i know you guys how much you work for it i know how much brit you work for this and what you put into it and equally you know how much you know we could make a decision tomorrow and just live together and leave it all behind but we want to have success and we sacrifice a lot and you know you can only hope that one day we

will be together and share those moments together but it is a little bit sad when you don't have your person with you poor ben i did i did wake up because it happened so quickly and ben just mentioned the time difference i did wake up and found out that he had told someone else before me So you were mad. I got mad. Not mad, but I was like, baby, I was like, I'm your fiancé. Like, I should know the big news. He was like, I couldn't wait eight hours.

That was the first thing I had to tell someone. I went for the next best option, which was Jane Sherry, so your sister. So he told, it's the same as like. Your sister and your brother-in-law before you found out. Yep, he took them to his hometown before he took me. They're more involved than I am. Britt, if and when you fall pregnant, you can just tell your sister

and your brother-in-law before you tell Ben and then you guys are even. They'll probably know I'm pregnant before I know I'm pregnant. They'll be Brits in revenge. Oh, Ben, we're so happy for you. Congratulations. And, yeah, we're really looking forward to our tax-deductible trip to Italy this year. It's going to be great.

Yeah, it's going to be good. We're all going to have carbonara, be by the beach, enjoy espressos. I'm really proud of you, Ben, and it's really hard to see it happening from here but I'd rather see it happening from here than not see it at all thank you baby I love you I love you oh you something I wanted to talk about and I know you have some feelings about it too Brit Jamila Jamil if you don't know who she is she was once upon a time a DJ a TV presenter and she's also an actress who was in that uh TV show The Good Place yeah she actually blew up now she's a big advocate for like a lot of different issues around but she's like she's an advocate

Because she's one of those people that doesn't really have a role anymore. She does everything. Yeah, she's also a very big voice in the sort of feminist movement. So she's recently come out and spoken about whether or not she does or doesn't want to have children. Now, spoiler, she doesn't want to have kids and she's made that decision of her own accord not because she can't and not because she's unwilling. She just really has arrived at the destination where she's realised

that being a mum isn't for her. Yeah, I really loved it because I feel like when this conversation does happen, which it's becoming more frequent, but it's still not the societal norm. But when it does happen, there's usually a bit of bum fluff either side. Like people want to soften it. They feel like they need to really explain themselves why and like compliment sandwich. But she just really owned it. Yeah, I want to read to you what she had to say. And there's a little bit to this.

She wrote, I don't give a shit about marriage and I don't want children. I just really, really don't. I think one of the best decisions I've ever made is to not become a mother. I don't think I'd be bad at it. I just don't want to do it. I actually love it so much. I'm beyond not compelled. I have absolutely no interest.

I'm about as interested in that as I am rock climbing, and I think they both sound really hard and dangerous. She goes on to say how I think it's better for society if I end my bloodline here and close all the doors behind me. I love it. I love it. The reason why I quite enjoyed how absolutely unapologetic she is, and I say this as someone who is a mum, and I love being a mum

and I love the role I have in my kids' life and what they mean to me, but I think a lot of times we look at women who have made the decision to, you know, childless by choice, that decision, and we kind of think, you're going to change your mind. Like that's the fear-mongering that goes on for a lot of people. You're going to regret it. Yeah, you're going to regret it. That's the fear-mongering that goes on for a lot of people.

Or on the flip side of that, like we paint this picture that if you don't want to have kids that you must be an innately selfish person and I mean we've had loads of conversations in our podcast Life Uncut about this Brit but there is such a powerful movement of women who have made the decision that they don't want to have kids and they're not selfish and they're not going to turn around and regret it they just have agency to choose a life that they really want for themselves. I actually want to challenge that. Well it's not surprising to me that motherhood isn't for everyone it's really hard I want to challenge that I think that deciding not to have kids sometimes is completely a selfish decision but that doesn't mean it's bad

you can like part of the reason that I have always been on the fence is and I openly say it's because I still feel selfish with my time when you decide to have a child you are giving up every second of your day there is nothing wrong with that but it is a big decision and I often think am I ready to give up my time to the level that I would need to to become a mother like that is a really big thing but being selfish doesn't always have to have these negative connotations but I see on the flip side of that I think if you have enough self-awareness to know that you don't want to be a mum that you wouldn't enjoy that role I don't think it's selfish because what it means is is that you're not going to be in the position where you have to pretend and show

up and and you know be sort of this support person for this tiny little human in a role that you actually resent and never wanted to do in the first place you know what I really envy and it's because I still now in this moment I struggle with this so much I am on this perpetually swinging pendulum between wanting kids and not wanting kids I envy people that know either way like Jamila does like she's so adamant and I wish I felt that same as people that know that all their ever wanted to do is be a mom. I envy that. And my pendulum is constantly swinging and I know I'm running out of time. And in my late thirties, I have eggs and embryos on ice, but I still need to actively make that decision. And it's really, really hard to make because one day I wake up and

I'm like, whilst I'm not ready, I absolutely can't imagine my life without that. Like whilst I might not want it right now when I look to my future which is what I try to do all the time I'm like cool you might not be ready now think of your future what do you see what do you want and I always try and visualize it there's always a family in it but I can't fathom having starting the family like when I'm 50 I'll be ready but I'm just not yet and it's a really like it upsets me all the time if you've been following my story or like the podcast or whatever I always talk about this because I think it's really important we talk about people that want kids we talk about the people that don't want kids we often don't talk about the people that are stuck on the swing

like I am that don't know which stop to get off at I'm on the bus at around a roundabout and I don't know where to get off and that's that's what keeps me up at night is making the decision I feel like I do need to just bite the bullet but I just I really envy Jamila and how she can just say like no it's not for me you know Valentine's Day it's just around the corner everyone really creeps up on you doesn't it valentine's day yeah i reckon my husband's gonna be still away potentially he'll still be in the african jungle by then hopefully if he makes it through to the um to the finals yeah hey speaking of husband i'm just gonna segue for a second take over i just forgot that it's my fiance's birthday today oh like i'm just having this realization right now

but in my defense he doesn't know yet he hasn't woken up he lives on the other side of the world You've done nothing for him. You have done nothing. Oh, well, he doesn't know that until he listens. Do you know what? It just, he moved country two days ago. It's really slipped my mind. Oh, Britt, you would be filthy if he forgot your birthday.

He would never live it down. You were angry at him that he didn't buy you a present for your birthday when you both had already mutually agreed and spoken about the fact that you weren't buying presents. Yeah, because when you say that as a woman, it doesn't mean anything. You're diabolical. You're a pain in the ass. Okay, we'll talk about this later, but continue.

So Matt, he's currently in the Celebrity Jungle, right? And before he left, he had a really big sit down with the girls. We spoke about it on the show when he came on as well. He had this little symbol that he was going to do. Just nothing crazy. He's just going to hold his little love heart hands up and do like a love heart symbol to the camera so that the girls could see him do that symbol and so that they would know that he's thinking of them. Super cute.

Yeah, in theory, if he did it. would have been cute so he we talked about it so much and he had this like plan to do the symbol and i mean there's a few times if you've watched i'm a celebrity you would know there's a few times where it's actually live like it flicks to uh live in the campsite and they kind of go around and you get the camera on each participant for a short period of time and you yell out to the camera usually i'm saying this because i did it last year but you're usually like love you mom and dad or you like throw the sign up or you're like hey man miss you like you're chaotic totally So that would be the opportunity for Matt to do it.

Now, he has not done it as frequently as what I would have thought that he was going to. How many times? I think I've seen him do it once so far. That's it. And I've watched every episode once. Does he say anything? Is he like, hey, Lola?

What? Even I was doing that. I know, I know. And to be fair, no one else on this season really is. So it seems like it was a really big thing on your season that everyone was doing their little hand symbols and stuff. No one's really doing it on this season. And the only problem is, is that Marley, who has been watching some of the episodes, has

also picked up on it. And so yesterday she got a bit upset and she was like, mommy, maybe daddy's not missing me because he's not doing the heart. He's not doing the heart. Matt, one job, buddy. I mean, he's out there eating pig's anuses. He's doing a really good job. If you can eat a pig's anus, you can throw a love heart to your kids at home.

In Matt's defense, I know that he would be so unbelievably hungry. And when he is hungry, he does not function. He doesn't love. He's the hangriest man that just, you can't have a conversation with him when he's hungry. His like processing skills go down the toilet when he's hungry. Like that man needs fuel and he needs food. I have a question. Speak.

Speak now. Well, I know that kids have really funny concepts of time. So Matt's been gone two weeks. He's been gone now for, no, longer. He's been gone for almost three weeks. Yeah, it's been two weeks because he left a little bit earlier than the show actually started filming. So it's now been two weeks and five days that he's been gone.

Well, so is time going fast or slow for the kids? Do they feel like it was just a couple of days or do they feel like he's been gone forever? No. Look, I know I make a lot of jokes about it. It's incredibly, incredibly hard. And we had a really good system at the start with the kids and, like, everything was really efficient.

I even joked about it on the show that, like, things just get done more efficiently when you're the only one doing it. And that was the case for a little while, but both girls miss him terribly now. And yeah, and it's, it's, it's hard on them because it's different when you travel or you go away for work and you can FaceTime and, and they can see you in real time. I think it's the lack of contact with him. And even though they know he's on a TV show, Marley, especially who's five, she understands the show and she understands he's away doing a show and she's really, really proud of him. And she wants to tell all her friends that Daddy's on I'm a Celebrity.

But she also gets really upset because she's like, but if Daddy misses me, why doesn't he just come home and why isn't he here? It is funny. So Matt does a podcast called Two Doting Dads and they created these little figurines of them. So like him and his co-hosts have plush toys when they released a book last year.

And Marley sleeps with the plush toy of Daddy every night. Oh, that's so cute. She's like, why can Dad eat a butt but he can't come home? Daddy would rather be eating an anus than be home with me right now. It's terrible. But, yeah, look. Anyway, guys, just a reminder, get your 10 votes in for Matty J. I'm a celebrity.

Keep him in there.