Life Uncut - The best of THE PICKUP - 19th March

Episode Date: March 19, 2023

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gavigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany.

I'm Mitch. And this is our radio show where we put in the best of the pick up for the entire week. Well, look, I think I've officially found the neighbour from hell. I know that I've talked about my own neighbour in the past, that she lives above me. She's got this, I don't know why, but it's an obsession with like watering me over the balcony. Me, Laura, Mitch, anyone that comes over, she's been known to water us on the balcony. Has it gotten better? You haven't spoken about her in a while.

It actually has. I have not been watered down for a while now. I don't know if she heard the show and she's like, oh, I've got to stop. She's very elderly. So she used to be my neighbour once upon a time when I used to live in Brit's house. She's very elderly. You should probably go check on her. Oh, I still see her.

She just hasn't watered me. So I don't know if she's learnt from her mistakes in the past. I don't know. Well, I also have a neighbour from hell in the new place that I've just moved into that I thought was perfect. Yeah, yours is pretty bad. But this is worse. This is the neighbour that nobody in the entire world wants to have. Oh, awful.

As in like Australia's worst neighbour from hell. So I'm talking on the show this week about a woman who faked her pregnancy to get seven weeks leave from work and it worked. Yeah, it worked until it didn't. Yeah, she's in prison, but it did work for a bit. I feel like this is not a bad idea. If you did it well, you could.

It is a terrible idea. Maybe. I've got a new one. Maybe you fake your pregnancy, you have maternity leave, and then at the end of the maternity leave, you just quit. You just quit your job. Yeah, but you can't just quit. You have to move.

You have to move city or state and start fresh because it'll come out. You cannot fake that for the rest of your existence that there's no actually real children. No one forgets that you've had a baby. What happens in a year when they go, how's baby Junie? And they go, it doesn't exist. You block everyone on Instagram and you move to another state

and do it again. And then you get pregnant again nine months later and you do it all over again. We'll talk about all that on the show because that's a true story that happened. I mean, speaking of pregnancy and, you know, that's a nice segue into breastfeeding, you may have seen in the news this week that two women

have been kicked out of the courtrooms for breastfeeding. and personally I have some very strong opinions about it and, yeah, well, we're talking about it on the show. It's a big one. Listen, I hate to make it awkward but... No, you don't. You love making things awkward. Good call.

I love to make it awkward. You literally love it. Britt, you need to be... Sit down, please. I'm sitting. Laura and I... Can you stand up and then re-sit? Yeah.

We need to make a real point of this. I'm up. And I've been discussing off the air that we're worried about you. We're worried that you've changed. Oh, look, I'm not worried about you. But we went to Melbourne yesterday. We had a lovely day, and Britt spent a lot of time when we were in Melbourne talking to people about soccer.

So we had like a bit of a meeting, a sales meeting, and she was talking to one of the clients about soccer but dropping all the soccer lingo. And I know. I was trying to connect, Laura. And you know, Mitsuri, that Britt actually knows nothing about soccer. Nothing.

Except that she has a soccer player boyfriend. Yeah. But it seems as though. I'm saying, where's the problem in this? I Google soccer every day. Oh, we know. You sit there on Sportsbet looking at all the teams. Well, I feel like I have to.

Wait, do you actually watch it, though, or do you just Google it? Like, do you actually watch games or do you just Google, like, what words mean so you can slip it into the convo? I mainly just Google it. What I do is I try and I want to be knowledgeable. I want to think that – I want Ben to think that I'm up with all the lingo. So I will Google something so I can just drop something to him. But it's usually about, like, something that happened overnight or Rinaldi.

I know it's not Rinaldi, it's Rinaldo. But some soccer thing, yeah, just try and be more knowledgeable. I think it's important. Okay, if you had a lineup and Rinaldi was in the lineup, would you know who he is? Rinaldo, yes, because he's very good looking. Well, your boyfriend, Ben, he plays for the Celtic. Celtic.

Celtic. Not the. Oh, there you go. She knows something. Oh, wow. Yeah, so just Celtic. And what does he kick around the field? It's a?

Ball. Correct. Wow. Why are you wearing shin pads? Look, she's in shin pads, Laura. I've got my spikes on. She's got your spikes on. Oh, stop dribbling.

She's playing with a ball. Do you actually think you know much about the sport, though? Sure. Oh, really? I've done some Google. Yeah, I'm pretty knowledgeable. That's what you do when you're in a relationship. Let's bring him in, Laura.

Oh, yeah, let's really put it to the test. We've got Lockie Rose. He's an eight-league soccer player in this country. He plays for MacArthur FC. Lockie Rose, welcome to The Pickup. How are you? I'm good, I'm good. Thanks for having me.

Hi, Lockie. Now, we have another soccer expert here at the table. Yeah, I've heard that. I can't believe what's happening right now. What's Lockie's position in the game? Lockie? My play's a striker. No, just a striker.

No, Lockie. Jesus. I was going to answer striker. Yeah, sure you were. Of course. Yeah, that's exactly right. We thought, you know, Britt has been very confident in the last couple of days. Every time I've spoken to her about soccer, she likes to reinforce to me how much she

knows about it and how it's all in my head that I think that maybe she knows nothing about it and is just doing it to impress her boyfriend. So what we would like for you to do is to maybe throw some curveballs. Is that a soccer term? No, actually it's not. Kick a couple of balls at Britt and see if she can get any of these questions right. Lockie, quiz Britt. See how well she knows the sport.

Yeah, let's go for it. I've got four questions for you, Britt. All right, Lockie, hit me. Oh, kick me. Let's start off with this one. What are the four main categories of positions? Forward. Defender, striker, and goalie.

Four. You missed one main key one. Attacker. Attacker. No. You missed a real key one there. Which is? Centre.

Midfielder. Midfielder. All right, Matt. Failed. That's a half a point. Pretty good. Yeah, you did all right. You did all right.

Next question. Hit me, Lachie. All right, we'll go for another one. How many minutes are in a game of football? Shit. 90. Yeah. Oh, good.

Before, that depends if there's overtime or not. Exactly right. Good. You've done well with that one. Yeah. You've been to a couple of games, haven't you? Yeah. You've looked at a clock.

Congrats. Britt had to try and figure out when she could leave. I can go home in 90 minutes. Yeah, she had a dinner reservation. All right, you two, next question. Next question. All right. How many yellow cards before you get sent off?

Why are you asking me all the hard stuff? You claim to be such a fan. You 100% can only have two. And by two, I mean three. Sorry? Put your number in. How many? Two.

Two yellow cards. You're correct. It doesn't count if it's a fluke. Oh, my God. If she gets this right, she's a real soccer fan. You've got the majority. It's 50%. You'll actually find it's called football, but continue looking.

75% makes you a winner. Last question. We've got your last question here. Make it a hard one. Which player can use their hands during play? Well, my boyfriend, Ben, is a goalie, so I'm saying goalie. That was an easy one. Yeah.

Even I knew the answer to that. I know nothing. I am a certified football fanatic. All right. Thank you very much, Lockie Rose, MacArthur FC, professional player. No worries. All right, I'll eat my soccer ball. Eat your words.

Football. Oh, my God. Do we call it soccer or football? I don't know nothing. I'll ask Britt. She's the professional. Football. It's football.

Okay. Now, this is a story that, Mitch, Shuri, you have something to do with. I'm worried about this because you've been talking about it all show and I don't know what it is you're going to bring up with me. Yeah. Okay, well, you remember when we were in this room two days ago? Every day at 3 o'clock. Sort of our job.

But do you remember when I was ranting about somebody on social media? Yeah, I do remember that. You were in a wild rage. There's a public figure that you were ranting about. I was not. Okay, now I've made it sound worse than what it is. God. I was talking about someone who I don't have the best relationship with.

Yeah, an Australian media personality. Okay, give more clues, Mitch Turi. Sorry, that's all. Give more chews. Give more chews. Oh, she's nervous. Oh, no. Okay, there's a reason.

There's a, you know, there's a backstory here. Too much backstory for our national radio. But I was telling you the backstory. And at that time I had their Instagram open. Got it. And I was looking at their Instagram and I was telling you the backstory. Of course. I didn't know the backstory to this beef.

And now I know. And yeah, you told me. What's wrong? What's the problem? It's a secret beef. You know, guys, it's something that we'll carry to the grave with us. I know all about it. But I was waving my phone around, chatting to you, telling you the beef.

Anyway, I left that day. I left radio. I went home. Later that night I opened up Instagram. Yeah. And whose story pops up as my next to view story? I accidentally followed them. Oh, no.

When I was waving. Now I'm following them. That's karma. You're following your enemy. They know I'm following them. Oh, no. And I can't unfollow them or they're going to know. You have to unfollow them.

I can't unfollow them. You have to. You have to unfollow this person. Immediately. Right now. Give me the phone. No. I'll do it.

Give it to me. It's worse if you don't. No, because they know that you've followed them. But maybe they'll know. Do they follow you back? I know that's even worse because now when you unfollow them they're going to be like oh she unfollowed me because I didn't follow back but the reason why I haven't unfollowed them is because one I hope that they don't listen to this show they won't because they don't like me but the

reason why I don't want to unfollow them is because I want them to think I did it on purpose I don't want them to know I don't want them to have the satisfaction that they think it was an accident I feel viscerally uncomfortable for you can I just say though and that's what happens when you wave your phone around on a rant. Are you trying to blame me and somehow say that because you were telling me this story of the beef, that this is my fault? Correct. Yes.

I didn't force your finger down. You asked me questions and you got me fired up. She was. And I had to tell you the whole thing from start to finish. It was a long story. And the whole time I was waving my phone around. It is entirely your fault, Mitch Turing. This led me to think, how many of you out there have gotten yourself into trouble because

you've accidentally followed someone you shouldn't, you've accidentally liked a photo that you shouldn't have liked and then you just want to throw your phone into the ocean and run away and move to spain which is where you'll be able to find me i think amy's done just that amy what happened well i was stalking my year six teacher who as a 12 year old i inappropriately had a crush on along with half of the class and i accidentally hit ad friends didn't realize until he popped up in my feed and now we're just awkwardly friends i'm 34 and he'd be like you can you can unfollow him Amy it's been like 30 years but it seems more awkward now to unfollow him with zero explanation so now I can see his stuff I understand I'm also committed to the follow now awkwardly forever

yeah that's it so now I just get his family popping up and he's got a lovely wife and beautiful daughters and I'm just a weirdo that used to have a crush on him when I was 12 years old all right all you weirdos that won't unfollow I once dated a guy that I really really liked him but it was very brief, right? When I say brief, it was like two weeks. He moved overseas and I still had this crush on him. And then he started dating somebody. I accidentally was trying to stalk her.

Friend requested her, panicked. Unfriend requested her immediately. I was like, phew, gone about my day. Then I get a message from him. Did you just friend request my girlfriend? And I was like, what? No. He's like, no, you didn't.

I said, definitely didn't. He's like, I'm looking at it. Like, you're definitely, and it was so awkward. So I don't know if the immediate unfollow or the safe follow is... I'm not taking your advice either is all I'm getting from that. Lauren, what happened? Who did you follow accidentally? Oh, well, it wasn't me.

I actually went for a job interview and my boss, like my future boss, he accidentally friended me. He must have been like stalking my page to see like what was I up to. And it was really awkward because I was like, you've added me as a friend, like, and he's like, oh, yeah, and yeah, sorry. and I'm like, well, like, yeah, it was just awkward. And I said, oh, I hope you liked all my bikini photos and, like, yeah.

Oh, my God. And he went bright red. Did you get the job? Why did you ask? I did actually get the job. It was like when I went into work, I was just, yeah, a bit like, I don't know, so awkward. Congratulations.

Well done. And you got the job on your own merit. It had nothing to do with those hot bikini pics. No, not at all. Oh, my God. See, it pays off, Laura. Maybe just leave it and let it sit with this mystery celeb. I'm going to leave it.

You know the satisfaction they have, though, knowing that you follow them and they don't follow you back? There is so much satisfaction. I know. It's like they think I'm desperate to be friends with them now. Oh, God, I am desperate. So cringe. I hate myself.

Look, I can only imagine what it's like to get married because I have not gotten married. I can only imagine. But I do know a lot of people that have gotten married. I do know how expensive weddings can be. The average wedding in Australia is between about $35,000 and $50,000. So much money. It's a lot of money to be putting down for this one day, right?

Especially at such a young age. People get married under 30 these days, a lot of them. Yeah, well, people find very unique ways to cut their costs. A lot of people get their friends on board. They help with floral arrangements. You know, like I did that with my sister and I've done it with friends where you get these little jars and you make them all up yourself. You save a lot of money.

At Laura's wedding, I helped open some trestle tables. Oh, yep, yep. I made all, you guys put out all the decorations and their cutlery. You also ate all of the canapes, but that's another story. No, that helped me. Anyway, this has me in hysterics. This wedding photographer has come out to talk about the weird way a couple tried to save some money at their wedding.

Well, they did. That's so funny. What they did was instead of using confetti, You know, when you walk back down the aisle after you get married, they want to get the amazing photos of the confetti or the flowers. To be fair, confetti is one thing at a wedding that is insanely overpriced. Confetti and also the flower petals, like fresh rose petals, expensive.

Yeah, well, this couple may have been on to something. Instead of using what anyone else would do, which is flower petals or confetti, they ordered potato flakes. So, like, real potato flakes. Now this, because they can come really thin. Like chips? No, it's a mashed potato flake.

Wait, they use dab? Is that what it's called? No, but you know, I imagine it like coconutty flakes or whatever, but it's mashed potato, right? Wait, like rehydrated potato? So it's dry. So it's not mashed. The idea is, right, in the photo when you throw it,

it looks brilliant because you can't see what it is. It's like powder, yeah. But one thing they didn't take into account is that When the dried mashed potato flake comes in contact with water, drinks, sweat, things that you found at a wedding, it turns into mashed potato. So as the wedding went on and people were spilling their drinks, because people had it in their hair and it was caught on them and they started to perspire and sweat. They were just mashed potato everywhere, all over the floors, in people's hair, on people's bodies. It was rehydrating. It turned into a mashed potato party.

How do you explain that to your guests? Sorry, we tried to cut costs by using rehydrated mashed potato. That's what's on your dress. It's also the meal tonight. There's no chicken or beef. Go to the buffet and then scoop up the mashed potatoes from the ground. When did cutting cost backfire? When did you think you were going to get something on the cheap

and it actually put mashed potato in all your guests' hair? Emma, what happened? When did cutting cost backfire? So I used to go to the hair salon spending $500, $600 on a full head of bleach. I loved my beautiful long blonde hair. So I decided one day to do it at home, fell asleep with all the bleach in my hair and I ended up with cotton candy

fairy floss hair that was lifeless and dead. I was in my brother's wedding party a few weeks later so I had a nice hot mum cut for the wedding. You're lucky it didn't snap off and or drip down into your eyebrows. Imagine waking up with no

hair and no brows. How long did you fall asleep for? Probably at least an hour. Far out. that's great um pete uh how did budgeting backfire yeah i was trying to budget by um doing my own mechanical repairs and uh the day before i tried to do my my brake pads i fixed the washing machine using the youtube and i thought oh mate i'm a i'm a jack of all trades i thought might as well do my brake pads never done them before so i put the brake pads on everything went right and uh next

Last day I was driving down the highway and all of a sudden, no brakes. Oh, my God. I think the giveaway that you shouldn't have done this was that you said you used the YouTube. Just YouTube. Well, I worked on the actual washing machine. I fixed the washing machine. I thought, well, I'm going to roll. I'll do the brake pads.

I think safety first. Wait, how did you stop? What happened? I just kept on going. I took my foot off the accelerator and just kept on going until it slowed down and then reared to the right off the motorway and put my handbrake on and that was it. called RACQ, and they came in and said, you're an idiot. Yeah, I'm going to second that.

I'm with RACQ. The YouTube seconds that too. It's so good. So let's go to Paris, France. We are going to France today, but not for what you think. They're bringing in some potential laws around sharenting, which is parents sharing photos of their children on websites, Instagram, YouTube, basically anything that's a free-for-all

for anyone. They're saying that privacy of children should be more important. This needs to be regulated. This will, though, very largely affect influencers or I guess they call them mummy bloggers. This will affect a huge part of their income if they're not allowed to be posting their children. So it's opened up this whole conversation about what is appropriate to share of your child online. Are you allowed to make money from your child online? The reason why I struggle with this, obviously i'll be very transparent like i share photos of my kids online not because i'm making money off them but because i love and they're such a huge part of my life that like i share my life online and i often share photos of my kids but i think the reason why i sit in two camps about

this conversation is because there's a huge scale there's a massive difference between moms who have created youtube channels where the main stars are children and those children are making an income but the money's going to the parents other than i don't think we can compare that to just normal people who post photos of their kids online and they're doing it out of being so happy and pride and loving their children i think that this and a lot of the articles i've read on this makes it feel like any anyone who's putting photos of their children online is exploiting their children and i think that that's just too much of a simple way of looking at this yeah i mean i think the core of this is the rise of the social media child and famous kids because

Because there was over 13 million subscribers on this one kid, the LeBrants. They're massive in the US. And people are saying, yeah, the parents are the ones profiting. They're getting millions of dollars from exploiting their children. At what expense? Yeah, but there's something to be said. So just so everyone knows, the LeBrants, what they capitalise on,

the way they make their money, they're not like putting their kids out on a farm and making them work all day for unpaid labour. They're unpacking toys and playing with toys. That is the way. And people pay to watch that. there's got to be something to where you realize that these kids I think it's okay if the kids are benefiting are the kids getting this money that they're earning put back into a bank account where does the money go but at the end of the day if it's not overly exploiting the child

that child is going to have an overall better life if their parents have more money like I don't think you can argue that point I think for me the reason why this is such a tricky one to to kind of unpack is because the problem with influencing and the problem with using kids in social media to make money there's a lot of issues with it but the biggest one is that it is so largely unregulated like if you're if you have a child that appears in a bonds ad on tv or they appear in some sort of advertising in print there's so many rules when you get to that actual shoot day kids can only be on set for x amount of time you have to have a nurse on site there's so many rules around using children on in advertising but because with influencing it's happening on a

platform with parents there are no regulations we don't know how long parents are making their kids do this sort of work for and then how are they exploiting it or does the child want to be involved i i think ultimately it is a very good thing to bring in legislation around this i think everyone should have the right to share their child if they want to but do so with discretion because in the darker side of things they you know they found the police found that But on inappropriate websites on the internet, half of those photos on those websites were just taken from innocent posting on people's Instagrams.

Family albums. Family albums. So it is just something that you do have to be aware of. I think it's your child. You're entitled to post pictures of them if you want, but keep that in mind. Keep that in mind of where they could possibly end up. Totally.

Guys, it's happened again. A second time. Did you not make it to the toilet again? You wet your pants. Oh, the poor thing. How is that where your brain goes? It's the rash back. You're absolute children.

Oh, you haven't shaved. It's his chin hair. It's back. That is back. That is actually back. No, for the second time in the space of not even two weeks, there has been another woman who's been kicked out of the courtroom for breastfeeding her child.

So this has happened now by the same judge in the same courtroom, two different women, and I have some feelings about this. As a mum who has breastfed two kids, I just think that there are very few places where it is not appropriate to breastfeed, and I don't think the courtroom is one of them. I think if your kid needs to eat and you've got your baby there with you, then it should be fine. I 100% agree.

You should not be kicked out of a courtroom or probably anywhere for breastfeeding. Your child needs to eat. But I am going to challenge you a little bit on this because if you read into this article properly, you'll find that apparently, in inverted commas, the child was actually quite unsettled. They said it was crying. Both children were unsettled and crying and that it was at a crucial part

of the court proceedings, and it would be a distraction. I am going to agree with the judge at this point. If the baby was crying and unsettled and it was distracting people that are making a decision on somebody's life, then yes, I think you can ask them to leave. If it was purely breastfeeding, then no, not cool. Okay, so one thing that helps a settled baby is sticking a boob in its mouth.

That's the first thing. So if you want to stop that kid from crying, I think a more unsettling thing is stopping the courtroom to tell someone to leave and get the baby out. But the other thing, this is a quote from the judge. The lady concerned has just exposed her breast and is breastfeeding the baby in the court as we speak. I think that that would imply that there is far more than just, like,

the baby being fussy as being the thing that's distracting. And I think if you are distracted by a boob and a baby needing to be breastfed, then you need to grow the hell up. Hold on. Can I just get some context? What was her role in the court? Was she being charged for murder? Because if she's up on the stand testifying, then I get that it's distracting.

This is the thing. It was an open court. She just was someone from the street that wanted to watch. So she just walked in. The baby was crying, distracting people. I think it's okay to ask them for leave. Oh, then get out. If you're just a spectator, get out of the courtroom, leave.

No, because I think that this is so wrong because then what you're saying is that no mother who has a breastfeeding child should be able to go into the courtroom because if you're breastfeeding an infant, that kid's with you all the time. So that excludes a woman for a really long time of their life to be able to be in a courtroom because they've got a kid with them. Can I pose you a question? Yes.

If there is a brain surgeon doing his operation and there is a baby in there crying and it's distracting him and he said, I'm sorry, I can't concentrate. Can the baby please leave? You would 100% say, absolutely, I'm sorry, I was distracting you. I don't understand. This is making a decision in court on somebody that could be potentially the rest of their life.

If he said, I feel distracted by the crying, the jury feels distracted, I think it's okay. Okay, Justin's called, wants to weigh in. Hey, Justin, what's your take on this? Yeah, I reckon, like, I don't know why you'd have a baby in the courtroom in the first place. Like, let's be honest. I mean, Brie's totally right.

They're weighing up with the rest of people's lives. Why would you have the baby there in the first place? Okay, so is it just in a courtroom that you have a problem with or is it breastfeeding in public in general? Look, I just don't really need to leave my house. And, you know, I'm going to the shops. I've got my kids with me. And it's just like a woman breastfeeding.

I just don't get it. Like, why don't you just go to your car or just go, like, somewhere else to go and do that, you know? Wait, so do you eat food in public? Do I eat food in public? Yeah, do you sometimes drink from a bottle of water in public? Yeah, all the time. So why can't a baby drink from its food source in public?

Justin, I'm agreeing with Laura on this one. Mine's just the crying. You can breastfeed anywhere. No, because it's just like public nudity. Like, it's just not decent, you know? It's a boob. Grow up. No, the child needs to survive.

It does need to eat. What's wrong with a bottle? Because not every woman wants to bottle feed their child. What's wrong with a boob? I don't know. I just think that we put sexual connotations on boobs when actually they have a very functional means, which is to feed children.

You're seeing it for the purpose that you might think it's for, and trust me, it ain't for that. Yes! Yeah, well. Oh, truly. I think we're talking to a boob ourselves, ladies. We just had a tit on the line. Breastfeed your children wherever they need to eat

because it's very important. Who cares? Ladies, this is, I think, the funniest headline I've ever read in my entire life. That's a big call, Mitch. No, no, this is true. It's so funny. A woman in Georgia in the United States has just been charged

with faking her pregnancy to get time off work. Like sick leave or like maternity leave? Maternity leave. If she said she was pregnant, took time off, and then the co-workers started to get suspicious that it wasn't potentially real, they caught her out and she's being charged. Wait, how did she get caught out? I mean, was it because there was no baby? No, no.

Or was it because the belly was the fake pillow that was stuffed up the belly was on her? Yeah, Robyn's colleagues became suspicious when they noticed her bump was askew getting up from her desk at work. And then when she sent them inconsistent photos of different children when they asked to see the image of the newborn baby. Wait, what do you mean inconsistent? No, because newborn babies could just look weird. They always look a bit different.

You know, you take a photo one day, their face is a bit squished than the other day. Yeah, good call. Apparently she sent pictures to her staff in a group chat and the images of the children were inconsistent because they depicted children with varying skin tones. Oh, man, if you're going to lie, just pick one child. Pick one race.

She went to Google Images, said new baby. Maybe it went to the Bahamas with its family on a holiday, got a tan. No. The thing is, a co-worker observed the lower portion of her stomach come away from her body and they saw double-sided tape stuck down to her abdomen. There's like blue tape. Hey, no, no, no.

Okay, if you're faking a pregnancy and you're wearing a prosthetic belly, surely you're wearing maxi dresses and stuff. Like she's not rocking up in a midriff where you can see some double-sided tape and all. Buy the proper prosthetic. You can buy them. Buy a bump prosthetic. Don't put a pillow up there that's all awkward and goes off to the side.

Go to Hollywood and get a VFX. I guarantee you you'll be able to get one online. Guarantee. Now, Laura, she got lazy because this isn't the first time she's done it. No. This is the second fake pregnancy that she has had. That's why they thought it was weird the second time around. Also because she announced she was pregnant at the end in November of 2020

and then had the baby in May of 2021. So the gestation period was four months. That is such a commitment to the lie. Like it's a forever lie. It's not nine months because then you've got to pretend you've got kids for the rest of your life. What do you do with the lack of baby? Do you just continue to send fake photos?

This is their 18th birthday. Surely if you're going to do this lot, you've got to commit. You've got to hone in on maybe it's your friend's kid and you just start sending photos. It's got to be consistent. Absolutely. Yeah, well, she got seven weeks paid leave off and then she got found out.

I've got a photo of the baby on the screen. This is the fake baby bump that she showed her co-workers. No, it's so ridiculous. So we've got up some fake baby bumps that you can buy online. They're actually quite legit. Some of them look more realistic than others. I like the fleshy-looking one. I'm not so sure about the black one.

See, I told you you can get one. That's just a Lily Dale chicken breast. Yeah, but this one here, the black-coloured one, it looks like a bra insert. It does. It looks like one of my push-up bras. So did she get charged? She's been charged.

She got seven weeks off work and they found her out and she got fired and she's been charged, yeah. But going to jail? What happens for faking a pregnancy? What is the punishment? What do you get charged for? Okay, so yeah, you can't charge someone for wearing a chicken fillet and saying it's a baby.

That doesn't hold up in a court of law. Not in Australia. No, she was charged for identity fraud because she made up a fake partner as well. She's not actually in a relationship. Wait, so she, okay, oh. So she not only got her own maternity leave, but like what is having a partner?

Does she get extra money for the partner or something because they've got a dueling cut? I don't know. Mitch is like, you're asking me too many questions. She faked a pregnancy. She's not a friend of mine. No, hang on. It says here, because I've got this sheet.

It says here that the fraud was because her fake partner emailed saying that doctors had ordered her mandated several weeks of rest following the delivery. So she's pretending to be like doctor's orders of a partner. So it's like there's multiple people here she impersonated to get this term off. She made up her partner, and the name for the partner, this should have been a dead giveaway on the email,

was Bran Ottumwambambabay. I'm not joking. She could have just said Sam Johnson, but no, she went Bran Ottumwambambabay. It's like she lent him the keyboard and sent it off. And then she's like, yeah, they'll do. And then she said, guys, baby, our pimp of a tenderway is here. It's arrived.

So stupid. Last year, do you remember the poo jogger that was going viral? I think it was a Sydney socialite, Roxy Jacenko, she discovered this poo jogger. He was just pooing out the front of people's lawns and stuff. Going for a jog and doing a poo. I love that we've reduced it down. The poo jogger.

The poo jogger. He was like a big foot. People were catching footage of him in their dash cams on their cars and sharing it online. Well, we've got a new one. We've got someone that I think has possibly trumped that. He's been named the Balcony Chunderer. What?

Now, what he's doing, actually, I don't even know if it's a he. I shouldn't say. What they're doing is they are, every time they're going onto their balcony in an apartment block, they are vomiting over the side. And obviously, it's a few stories up. The chunder is going on people's balconies. It's going on people's clothes when they've got their washing out down the bottom. It is going everywhere.

He's a repeat chunderer offender. They've started to put out, because they can't tell who it's from, right? It must be a huge block. So they've started to put all these public notices around being like, keep your chunder to yourself. If you're going to go on your balcony and vomit, don't do it anymore. Put a bucket out. Just go vomit in the toilet.

Also, why are you vomiting so much? This is what the note said. This is what was put around in the Strata building. It said, your neighbours don't appreciate cleaning your vomit off our balconies, outdoor furniture, and our clothes that we're drying outside. Please do not vomit over the edge of the balcony. Well, it's been going for six months. It's like the biggest detective mystery, the chunderer,

the balcony chunderer. They can't figure out who it is. This is a real problem. I've just moved into a new place I've spoken about on the show in the middle of a rental crisis. It was so stressful trying to find somewhere to live. We finally found the perfect place. Me and my boyfriend, Hayden, were so happy.

You know how excited we were. Oh, especially because I had space under the stairs, which was all the prerequisite was for your partner. Yes, you want an under-stair storage. We have air conditioning. and yesterday I went outside to take the washing off the line and this happened. Our neighbour's learning to play the clarinet.

Keyword learning. Jesus Christ. Oh, they suck. Yeah. It's fine if it's during working hours. Like, if it's fine during the day. It's not okay if it's 2am in the morning. But is it fine in a day and age now where everybody works

from home, I guess it's hard because, yes, you do need to learn the flute, but you also need to work maybe on a Zoom call. Who knows? Yeah, I mean, look, I sympathise with you. I used to live next door to a really lovely lady. She had an eight-year-old daughter and her daughter was learning to play piano and it was horrible.

She was so bad, but very sweet, but awful to listen to. A house is for living. If you want to learn an instrument, go to school. Oh, I do feel sorry for him a little bit. Okay, but could you imagine having somebody vomit off a balcony and, like, imagine you were sitting... What if you were out there? What is this during the day though?

Exactly like it's the middle of summertime, you're sitting out relaxing and all of a sudden splat. It's like worse than being shat on by a pelican. Also, if you're the chunder and you're listening, go to the doctor. No one vomits that much. Some things are not, some things are alright. I reckon it's a weekend vomit.

I reckon it's someone who's been having big Saturdays. No, I think it's any time of the day. No, it's not just weekends. I'm an optimist. I think if you get vomited on, that's good luck. Mitch, that's being shit on by a bird. Oh, is it? Oh, I got my wisecrass.

Apologies. All right, we'll keep the investigation into the balcony chunder going. If you know anything about it, please phone in. Yes, slide into the DMs.