Life Uncut - The best of THE PICKUP - 22nd May

Episode Date: May 21, 2023

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. This is our radio show. We packaged this bad boy up, all the best bits of the radio from the week,

and we had a really good week, actually. We did. What happened to the roll call? We normally do a roll call. Here's Mitch Turi. Here's Laura Penn. And there's Brittany Huckley. Something happened to me recently, and I'm still recovering from it.

I think also my darling little Marlee May, who's four years old, is also recovering from the same experience. Oh, that's not a good opener to a story, is it? No, no. And look, Matt and I, I'm not really sure what the best way to approach this is, but look, I might get your opinions on it. So the other night, Matt and I were doing the Horizontal Dance of Love. It was very late at night.

It was like 11.30 p.m. You know, the guy got lucky not to give you guys too many details. But anyway, we're in the middle of it. And how do I describe this at a very appropriate time slot? So you were two minutes deep. You're in the middle. We got there, yeah. Yeah, we were halfway through, two minutes gone.

and I hear this pitter-patter, pitter-patter, pitter-patter, pitter-patter and then literally instantly I look to my left and there's Marley standing about 20 centimetres from my face, like face-to-face. I rolled over to make face-to-face eye contact with my daughter. Hang on, what position were you in? Where were you in? Missionary. Okay, were the blankets on or off?

Off. Coys on or off? Off. Socks on or off? Irrelevant but I need to know. Zero socks. There was nothing. There was nothing between.

There was no blankets. There was nowhere to hide. There was nowhere to go. It was full exposure. Were you quiet? No. Oh, wow. I think we woke her up.

What was it like? Okay. No, we don't need vocals on that. That'll get us cancelled. Anyway, and Marley gets into bed with us every night, so we should have known better. But she always hops into bed, has a little cuddle. But usually she gets in bed with us around 2 o'clock in the morning,

so we kind of had a bit of time to spare. Anyway, I roll over and I look at her and I go, oh, my God. Hi. Actually, no, I swore. That was my first reaction because I was absolutely startled. That's comforting. I swore at her by accident and then I was like, oh, my God, my little darling, I think you should go back

to your own bed tonight. And she just looked at us, looked us up and down and went, okay, mummy, I'll go back to my bed. She knew something was up and it wasn't just, you know what. Oh, my God. It's the first time in her entire four years of life that she's ever come into bed and then voluntarily left and gone back to her own bed.

Did Matt know what was going on? Or was it because you just made contact with her? Yes, he stopped as well. Of course he figured out what was going on. He wasn't just like, oh, but I'm in the motion. I just wanted to know if maybe he didn't know because you saw her then, you know, if you said my little darling. It was a whole thing.

Oh, no, we stopped. Like it was like a real freeze moment. You mean was Matt confused if in the heat of the moment Laura called him my little darling? That's what I was worried about. Some questions there. I'm just worried about all the therapy I'm going to have to pay for for my child, like four.

She won't remember. She might remember. Four is old enough to almost remember. But, I mean, she's almost four, four and two weeks. Yeah, but at the end of the day, that's the best position to be caught in by your child because it could just be a cuddle. Yeah. It is a cuddle.

We told her we were wrestling. He was giving me a tickle. Why didn't you just say we were cuddling? You don't have to go WWF. No, I was like, Daddy's just giving Mummy a tickle. WWE? What's WWE? Wrestling.

WWF is the Wildlife Foundation. It could also be the Wildlife Foundation. Very easily could have been. It did look a little bit like a Dave Attenborough documentary. Oh, no, she's going to go to school. Oh, the man melts the woman. The real is in the mist. Anyway, look, I got no advice from you.

Thanks for that. No, nothing. No, just mocking. You're on the wrong show. You think we're going to give you advice? We're all having an argument in the studio because, listen, Laura and I, and I'm not afraid to say it, are free-range farters. Yeah, not in front of each other but in front of our partners.

I wouldn't fart in front of you, Mitch. Well, why is that any different? Okay, hang on. Let's just set this up. We've been in a heated discussion basically every break that we've had for the last two weeks, I reckon. This has come up a few times, this farting conversation. It's not the first time it's happened.

You both think it is wildly okay to let one rip in front of your loved ones and I – Totally fine. Of course it is. If that ever happens to me, I'm very ill and it's popped out on its own or I'm possibly dying. I don't know. Or you're asleep.

Sometimes when a little whiz pop will fall out and you're asleep, you don't know. When you're asleep, it's a free-for-all. But conversely, too, I don't want my partner to fart in front of me. Ew. If my partner drops one, I'm like, I want to think you're sexy. And when you're walking around dropping bombs that could knock someone out, I don't find it attractive. I'm pretty sure Matty J saves them up and walks into whatever room I'm in. He does it that often.

Totally. I'm pretty sure he brings them over like a present. I'm pretty sure at your wedding he cropped us to down the aisle. Yeah. He was like, I'm so glad that all my loved ones are here. Yeah, he farted. I would not marry someone, and this is genuine truth, I'm not embellishing, if I hadn't heard them fart.

I wouldn't. What? I wouldn't. I would not. I'm not joking. I wouldn't. Why? Because what does that mean if I haven't farted?

Because they have no inhibitions around me and our love is pure and it's real and it is not an act. A fart isn't pure and real. We need to put this out. If you're a farter or not a farter in front of your partner, please call in because I'm feeling very attacked. It's two versus one here. They've backed me into a corner.

They're farting me into the corner. I know. We're not. No, we're in a tiny studio that's... Laura! Stop it. That's sound effects. No, Laura would not be like that.

Laura would be... No, it would not. Okay. What would my fart be? I'm going to be offended because I know what you're going to do. Do my fart. This is Mitch. Okay, that's it.

I cannot believe that this is where this show has fallen. Hold on. Steph has called. We need support in the anti-fartist perhaps. Hi, Steph. To fart or not to fart? That is the question. absolutely not yes yes queen okay sorry how long have you been in a relationship for

i'm not currently in a relationship but my longest relationship has been about four years so you spent four years of no farting god you must have had some stomach cramps i just don't feel the need and if i did then i would go to the bathroom i just That is a line I will never cross Okay, so you're lying in bed With your beautiful partner And you feel it It travels from your tummy

Down the small intestine Into the butt cavity What do you do? You suck it back up? That's ridiculous No, you get up And what? You go, excuse me

I'm going to go into a walk-in pantry And you just fart Steph, you don't have to go And do it on the food, Mitch Why are we in the pantry? Steph, what would you do? You're in bed You need to whiz pop

If they were asleep I probably wouldn't If they were awake I would go to the bathroom. Okay, so what I'm understanding is that you guys have no issue with your partner actually breathing in the smell. You just don't want them to hear the sound. That's what it is.

If you'll do it when they're asleep, then you're like, whatever. Mine don't really smell. Mine are like super cute. Oh, I have been in a room when you farted. You thought I went home, but I was out in the car. You were stalking me? Yeah. Oh, you heard me from the car.

I heard you from the car. I have actually. Britt did it in front of me on purpose, and it was not as beautiful as she makes out. Hi, Toby, to fart or not to fart, Tobes, what do you do in the relationship? What? Oh, Toby.

Toby, Toby, do you fart or do you not fart in front of your partner? Oh, yeah, of course I do. Toby, I knew you were going to say that from as soon as you said hello. I was like, this guy's a farter. You could just tell. Hello. And let me tell you, are you in the happiest relationship you've ever been in, Toby?

Oh, yeah, for sure. Of course he is because he farts. I can hear crows in the background. He's the ozziest guy that's ever been on the show. I know, I absolutely love it. Farting with crows. Final call. This will make or break it.

Kylie, to fart or not to fart in front of your partner? What would be the question? Well, for me, yes. But my mum, she has spent 30 years with my dad and never has been in front of him at all. My parents, yes. And you don't think she can. Kylie, my parents have been married for 46 years

and neither of them have ever intentionally let one go in front of each other. And I applaud that. Yeah, but my dad does. He just does it all the time and then my mum doesn't. And does your mum not think it's gross? Is she always like, ew? Yeah, she tells him off.

Yeah. And he still believes that she can't, he physically can't do it. Oh, that's a joke. I think it's an imbalance of power in that relationship. No, in my relationship, Ben respects, I'm sure he wants to let them rip, but he respects that I don't like it and he will always leave the room. And I know he's going to do it because he's like ducks out for no reason. I was like, did you just go and let one?

He's like, yeah, I had to. Couldn't do it in front of you. Your poor partner's going to have the worst stomach pains. Ben wants to do it in front of you. He's just terrified. Sorry, that's the truth. No, it's called Respect. I'm terrified of Brit too.

I'm not dating an etiquette coach. All right, that's enough. Wow, this debate could go on forever and ever. That's enough. But like a fart, it was over just like that. Now our next guest you two know very intimately from his days hosting The Bachelor, maybe The Masked Singer, or maybe his Sydney Comedy Festival show this Friday.

Osher Gunzberg is here. Hi, Osher. Hi, Osher. Hi, everybody. Nice to see you all, And it's nice to see you in happier circumstances today, Laura. The last time we were together, it was a play date. I don't know if you guys heard about this.

No. The last time we were together, it was a play date. We got the kids together. It was super fun. We were down at the park. And who did I take for a ride? I took. You took Matt on the back of your electric bike.

You guys scooted out of there. And it was, we were there with our two little girls. And Osh was there with Wolfie, his little boy. Yeah. And we saw, so Matt and Osher, off they went on the electric bike, off into the distance. And they were just going very slow and Wolfie was running alongside. Cargo bike.

It's the one that I take the kids down to the beach on. It's really fun. Yeah, okay. And we were gigging like, we're riding through a park. Matt and Osher tandem going through Bronte Park. It was really cute. And is it true you lost a kid, Laura? Yeah, so about 15 minutes later, Osher comes back.

Oh, my God, my heart's breaking. It was horrific. Fifteen minutes later, Osher comes back and there was no Wolfie. And we're like, oh, Wolfie's with you. And he was like, no, he's with you. Oh, no. And he had been gone, just gone for 15 minutes. And this was the very first time that I think, Osher,

you had ever lost a child. And I was like, don't worry, I lose them all the time. I was like, no problem, they'll come. They always pop back up. And we found him. Because he saw us going and he ran after us. But I didn't realize he was running after us. Oh, no.

Because he wanted to come and be a part of it. and then he ran and he couldn't keep oh i mean you can laugh at my heart actually breaking but any parent who's had this happen to them knows how much their heart hurts right now because everyone listening who's everyone's everyone i've told this to they go oh yeah i've done that like good then here's the little legend the bloody legend he went and found someone he found a lifeguard he's been watching a lot of born by rescue he found the lifeguard do you think he found the lifeguard do you think the lifeguards like this little child he's wandering around on his own and they found him no he did he knew he knew to go and find the lifeguard and he said

i'm lost and then i'm riding around like nothing on earth on this bike i'm in full turbo mode now burning around the park and i see the lifeguard bending down and i see him chatting to wolfie and there was a reunification and by god and you never give him wolfie to laura burn again do you know Yeah, it is weird because Osh has never asked us back to the park for another play date since. That was the first and only that we thought about. I would really love to go back to the park for another play date. It was really fun.

It was really, really, really fun. But, yeah, it's a rite of passage, I think. Because I remember being lost as a little kid too, you know. It comes with being more adventurous as a kid that you start going and seeing, oh, what's over there? And you're also, you know, you're very inquisitive when you're young and certainly when it's a big sunny day and there's lots of people everywhere and everyone's knees look the same because that's the eye line.

Yes, yes. Maybe that's what turned me gay. Maybe I was lost the day that I was crutch height. Maybe that's my trauma that I've just discovered. I had a little female genitalia at crutch height as well. Oh, I know. This is true. This is the thing.

There's been people in my life that I have watched grow, and Mitch, I'm telling you, like real early on, it's got nothing to do with sexuality at all. Okay, all right. It's got nothing to do with sexual attraction, I should say. it's got nothing to do with it's just oh yeah there you go we always get philosophical with us i mean well speaking of sexual attraction uh the bachelor that's one thing that does happen on that show um oh the batch is going to be filmed in melbourne this year but i want to know

how on earth are the girls going to get around in their you know skimpy little dresses how are you going to do the red carpet when everyone's going to be wearing skivvies and cargo pants the only thing that is important in any kind of television and in any kind of radio is the reveal all right it's minus two degrees what better a reveal than oh what's under that coat oh frozen nipples look me in the eye and tell me you've never gone on someone's front door and then it's been an overcoat not much else come on it's like the greatest thing in the world yeah that's fine And the allure of it all. These sort of things happen.

These things happen. It is going to be filmed in the middle of winter, though, in Melbourne. So it will be particularly cold. Because I remember when our season was filmed, it was the middle of winter in Glenoray. And even that was really cold trying to do the cocktail parties. I can't imagine what this season is going to be like. Oh, are they going back with the three bachelors again?

Or are we doing something different? What's happening? This is a conversation above my pay grade. I turn up at night. Don't lie. No, I don't. You know me. And you can ask any of the people that you've worked with on this.

Like they will tell you, I don't know, the first time I met him was on camera. So I don't know. I really don't know. I do know some people that have been asked to be The Bachelor, actually. I do have some inside goss, but I think they turned it down. But I know that, yeah, the casting's been out there and the nets have been wide. So they're still hunting, you think, Britt?

I think they're still hunting. I like the new format of The Three Bachelors. The only thing, though, is that it was very fast. I felt like we didn't get a chance to meet all the girls as much as what you do in past seasons because they have to fit so many people and so many love stories into the same length of time. Yeah, I like the Gold Coast of it all, Osher, like the fact that it was filmed on the GC and they could sleep together.

There was an open-door policy. Is that going to continue in Melbourne or is it going to be like an open coffee, like you're going to go get piccolos together? I, for one, will miss not taking a jet ski to work. That was a good part about being on the Goldie and, you know, avoiding a neck tattoo as I scooted through Service Paradise and went to the Harley. A feed in itself, Osher.

lucky i had my motorbike with me so i could go extra quick past wheeling street because uh i don't know if you've ever spent i grew up in queensland and like i was living and and where the manch was what was on the you know surfers paradise you know i don't know who put paradise in it but it ain't i'll tell you that what was the reason i'm really looking forward look melt what's beautiful about melbourne's amazing it's it's it's people out on the street it's it's uh there's lots of things to see there's lots of things to do there's there's cozy firesides There's, you know, there's thick shag rugs. There's all kinds of lovely, warm, cosy things to be done in Melbourne.

Come on. It's romantic. I'm down for it. While we're on the love train, I mean, this huge news in the US has just dropped about the golden bachelor that they're going to run, a bachelor for senior citizens. They haven't released an age gap yet because I just tried to Google it then, but there's no age gap.

What do you think about this? Because I'm all for it. I think this is going to be killer. Hopefully not actually killer. They're all going to have heart attacks and die. Is it made by the same people or is it just a dating show for older people? A dating show, but it'll be on ABC apparently.

Oh, it's on network. Yeah, yeah, on a Monday night. Well, look, nobody wants to think about their grandparents having sex, but it does happen, you know, it really does. And that's fine. Everyone wants intimacy through their life. But, yeah, I guess, you know, what you want changes. It's not just kind of pants ahoy and genitals smashing into each other

at 100 miles an hour like in your 20s. It's more kind of, you know, let's, you know, kind of kiss and cuddle and I'll subtly dominate you and scrabble and later on the domination will flip. It depends on how it worked. Yeah, there's a lot of that going on. I can safely say that there were no genitals smashing into each other on my season of Batch either.

That didn't happen. None at all? No. It was very, I mean, considering that you spend three months dating someone, in my instance it was Matt, but like there's very little that you do. You can just kiss, that's it, and then talk about your feelings a lot. Did you genital smash at all during filming, even at the finale?

Just Finale Night. Yeah, that's a great rating booster. Once we were exclusive and it was no longer being filmed, then we genital smashed. Too much? Wow, look. I don't know. Does it count for double if the consummation happens overseas?

I mean, it might. No, you have to come back and do it on Australian soil. Otherwise it gets like a marriage, right? I see. It doesn't count. Osher, tell us about the comedy show you're doing this Friday night. If you're in Sydney, you can get tickets at sydneycomedyfest.com.au. It's N-T-N-N-N-N, and it's your own little news show.

You're an anchor, man. So close. I think you dropped an N. It's N-T-N-N-N-N-N. N-T? Oh, Britt got it right. N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N. N-T-N-N-N-N-N.

No, you dropped an N, Mitch. I normally nail that kind of thing. I'm not going to sleep tonight. Sorry, Osher. Nighttime News Network National Nightly News. I've always wanted to host a news show. I've always wanted to host a late night show, and I realised quite rapidly that no television network in Australia

is going to give me one, so I just made one. I love that. we started doing it yeah it's really great uh this is the thing you gotta you know work makes work so i just created this thing and i'm working with some incredibly funny talented talented talented people who are the news team and it's the news of the day so i don't know i haven't watched the news on the telly for a decade because it doesn't speak to me anymore it's it's a product like anything else um but it's still really important to know what's happening in the world and know what the news is doing so we don't i don't know we can make good decisions uh for

ourselves for our kids and so we don't get taken advantage of by governments and things like this it's important um but the news is told in such a way that it's like oh and it's important if you laugh at stuff so it's the news of the day it'll be the news of friday this friday so i'll get up in the morning and i'll sit here at my desk and i'll write the whole thing and then uh come eight o'clock at the factory theater the news theme will roll it's a pretend tv show and i will start reading the headlines and then the news team who have no idea what the headlines are will tell you the story and most of the time uh it's the story you would have seen anyway or a very interesting take on it and it is super super funny it's it's bananas it's off chops uh it's nuts it's if you've

never been to a comedy show uh this is for you because i've designed it particularly for people who have never gone to a stand-up show or never been to a comedy show i've never even been to the theater that's fine just come it's a pretend tv show i'm pitching it as a tv show it's pretty much Actually, I'll tell you completely, on Friday night, the people who I want to order like 25 episodes of it are coming. So I really want you to be on TV. Okay, do you think this is where people should be getting their news from, though, in terms of?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Okay, right. So you're going to learn something as well as have a laugh. Oh, mate, it's the news of the day. And there's a special guest every time. Like we have a special guest weather reporter, a bloke called Matty Johnson did it once. Yeah, I know him.

I'm familiar with him. Very talented. He did a great job. So we have like actual TV, actual broadcast people come and talk to us and they're part of the show. So they're a special guest weather presenter. So we've had Danny Minogue. We've had Larry Emder.

When Larry Emder did the weather, you're probably too young for this. He used to do a show called Price is Right. And when he did the weather, I'd say, Larry, is the temperature tomorrow 27? And he went, higher. It was amazing. But, Osher, how do you navigate the, I guess because it's a comedy show, but how do you navigate the more serious stuff,

the more serious side of the news? or do you just sort of try and bypass those ones? No, not at all. You absolutely go for it. Like I think the gag we did on the day was Peter Dutton's not the voice. Try and understand it. He says, no, whoa, whoa, whoa. You know, it's serious stuff, but you've got to laugh at like bonkers things

that are going on. And our actual special guest on Friday night, you may know him. He's the man standing in front of you. Mitch is going to come and join us. Oh, my God. I didn't want to tell the girls. I wanted you to be the man to do it. Mitch is going to be our weather presenter.

Basically, he'll tell us a story, a behind-the-scenes story. Danny Minogue told us about being on air at the moment Queen Elizabeth died, and it was amazing. She was so good. So Mitch is going to come and tell us a story, and he'll be a part of the show at the end of the night. We are going to absolutely throw him to the wolves while he tries to bring a weather report on stage.

Well, I haven't told you, Osh, my story, But all I'll say, for those people thinking about getting tickets, it involves two things. One of those is Dua Lipa and the other is North Korea. And I'm going to leave that with you. Do with that what you will. Maybe Osher and I need to have a planning chat off the air, but mull that over in your head, Osher.

We know this story and it's horrific. I was, last night, I was listening to the Mitsuri show. Oh, the night show, yes. The night show. And now, Osher, you were a guest on the night show last night and I didn't realise that you and I had a bit of beef. I heard something and this is what it is. What beef can you get?

You've got your happy ending, Laura. Let me have the beef. Hold on. This was on the air last night. As long as it involves another bachelor getting married and not inviting me to their wedding, I'm in. What? Oh, it feels very pointed.

Laura, there's no beef here. I don't know if you realise, but I'm vegan, like every other vegan. Oh, so sorry. I haven't had any beef, but I've also, you know, my Saturday nights have had not a lot going on in them significantly, just scrolling, I think six times now I've been scrolling through my phone. I go, oh, I know that person and that person.

Oh, they got married. Oh, nice one, Sam, Susanna, Tim, Anna. Have you not been invited to a single bachelor wedding? Lee, Laurie, Maddie, Lockie. No. Have you not been invited to any? I did get invited to one. Whose?

It was Alicia and Glenn. But I had done a Bachelor podcast with Alicia for three years in a row. So we worked quite closely for years. Do you know why, Osher? I still remember you trying to convince Matt to pick Florence. That's why. No, I'm joking. I've never done such a thing.

No, I'm joking. I'm joking. But, you know, it's okay. No, I just wouldn't. Like a lot of people think that sort of stuff goes on, but no, it never does. Because even like way, this goes way back to Idol. Like you can never even tell a kid, what do you think I should sing next week?

You could never say anything. Because if you say, oh, you should sing, you know, Close to You by The Carpenters and they get voted out, they go, oh, I got voted out because he told me. And then, you know, it's like terms and conditions stuff. You can't do it. Surely you knew or you had an inkling on mind that The Honey Badger was about to pick no one.

Like that was a pretty big energy I'm sure he was putting out. Because I remember going and looking at you. We were eye to eye. We were looking. Had a moment. Oh, no. And I feel like your face said it all. surely you had an inkling i what i do to make sure in those moments like i work i've played

poker for a long time and i work really hard in those moments and laura you may attest this because i did it to you as well i hold in my head that you're the one going home every time oh well you betrayed that 100 but i walked away from osha at our finale thinking i was going home why do you do that and then i drank a bottle of wine well it's probably better to have the disappointment i assume then and like why because i don't because you the thing about reality television is the currency we trade in as authentic emotional responses then it can only happen once and if i let the cat out of the bag before the you're it you're not it whatever it is you win the record contract you win the house whatever it is then the show's over it has to be it's all

about that final moment and so it's massive part that i um that i play there is to like really horribly liar to someone's face i don't lie i'm a terrible liar except in those moments you are actually brilliant at what you do yes and you should be paying for both these girls therapy because they go twice a week and i think the moral of that story is you owe them a lot of money well if you want like if the only thing you know me for is shouting take it off very very loudly or whispering while counting flowers you're going to be in for a hell of a shock on friday night because i swear a lot like a lot and um yeah if you've ever listened to my podcast it's kind of more along the lines of that um it's pretty fun brilliant it's very seditious it's

so dangerous i mean you work on you know live broadcasts so you've all done a thing people don't realize that we all do a thing called codes training which is like here's how to not defame someone and so we have to be really careful about that stuff and there's really there's a lot of responsibility that comes with broadcasting you can't just say whatever because it can be quite irresponsible now when i told my lawyer hey this is what i'm going to do with the news show he he said you're fucking what and i was like he goes well if you're going to do that um you better read a disclaimer so i have i have to read it's so dangerous because we have politicians in power i won't say their names who will ruin your lives over a 12-word tweet and that's happened so i need

to be really really careful and protect my cast and so we i read a disclaimer before the show like we would like to advise the following, I go all Robbie McGregor the following program contains sexual well you get to see the real Osher then the real Osher Gunzberg live sydneycomedyfest.com.au go get tickets

Osher it was great to have you on buddy thank you for coming back on the pick up there's cheap tickets in my link in my bio in my link in my thing swipe up see you on Friday Mitch see you at the park Osher let's do this

Ask Uncut is something we do on Life Uncut Podcast and something we've been accustomed to doing every Thursday here at The Pickup, and we have a brilliant one today. We have a real pickle from a listener, Rachel, that's called in. Yeah, we're ready to give some advice. Unsolicited. Well, no, it is solicited. She's asked for it.

It's solicitous. It's inexperienced. Yeah, that's a problem. It might not be good advice, Rachel. Hi, what do you need? Hi, guys. How are you going? Hi, we're good.

What's the problemo, Rachel? Okay, so I'm getting married in six weeks' time and I've been with my partner for 10 years and I am starting to think that I've made a mistake and I don't think I love him anymore. Oh, my. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, hang on, hang on, keep going, keep going.

Is there more to this or is that it? No, literally it's just like we've been together for a decade. You know, we have the house, we have a dog, we have, you know, I genuinely thought that this was going to be my forever guy and I'm just currently I think I don't know whether it's cold feet but, yeah, I really just like I don't know if I should go through with it and I would love some advice. Does he listen to the radio though?

Maybe it's a different name. Maybe she's using a pseudonym. Okay, fair, yeah. No comment. Yeah. How long have you been feeling like this for? For how long have you been kind of thinking that maybe there's just like that you're not in love with him? I would say like the last month it's come on very very

fast and yeah just now the countdown is on to the wedding and I'm so yeah I just I don't know what to do. I mean to me I think it's kind of peculiar that you've only started to feel like this in the last month I think if you've had a decade of strong feelings and like being in love and wanting to get married there's part of me that thinks like are you sure that this isn't just cold feet that it isn't the finality of getting married that's making you think oh god is this too much you know is this is this too much commitment are we making the right decisions I don't know it's pretty odd to have such a severe flip after in a month Rachel I've got here uh our producer flip has passed us some notes that she spoke to you before you phoned through it you've you said

that you just feel bored like an old married couple and you don't have much sex anymore only once a month do you yeah once a month but do you think that that is something I think that that's probably something pretty common in in a long-term relationship if you do have sex less i don't think it means that you're not soulmates or penguins or like you know relationships over time definitely do plateau a little bit as you get more comfortable with each other and you know think of how much you've done and spoken about and discussed over the last decade how much sex you've had i hope over the last decade i think that part's pretty normal so i feel like there must be something a bit more deep-seated in you because the the things like only having sex once a month is something

that you definitely can work on as a couple yeah i definitely agree i was talking to my friend about this because she recently got married and she didn't have any doubts whatsoever which is i think why i'm now just maybe overthinking it but yeah you know she just was so excited for her wedding and i just don't have that feeling and i'm like i feel like i should have that feeling well not everyone's comfortable admitting they have that feeling so you never know if that's the truth that she's actually telling you but rachel when you when you look at him are the issues and the lack of love to do with personal things that he's doing like is he not chilling with his mouth closed or or is it just because you're yeah the big hard hitters in a relationship

or is it because you're so close to the actual wedding and you think it's maybe nerves there like where's where's that feeling coming from i don't know i just look at him and i don't feel the same as i once did and it's just happened so fast and i have i've personally been trying to work on you know me getting that connection back because obviously I haven't told him anything um but yeah like no matter what I do personally I just I can't seem to I hate the word but like get that spark I mean I don't know if you're ever going to get the same level of spark as what you maybe had at the beginning of a relationship because we all know relationships have different ebbs and flows and and you know you go through like immense desire at the start of a relationship

And then the longer you've been together, the harder it is to maintain that desire. I think that there is an element of normal being anxious heading towards your wedding. But should you be terrified or should you feel like it's a bad decision? I think that they are some pretty massive red flags. I wouldn't be recommending anyone to go ahead getting married if overwhelmingly you feel like it's a bad idea or you're having doubts. Yeah, I agree. I think if, you know, people do sometimes get swept up in a relationship and all of a sudden you're engaged and all of a sudden you've planned

the wedding and all of a sudden you're getting, well, this is what I mean. But then all of a sudden you're like, well, hang on, this isn't actually what I want. And that is okay, but you're going to have to talk to your fiancé. I think that you've only got six weeks left until the wedding. You actually don't know how you feel and if you want to go through it, talk it out with him. I think you're going to have to, you don't really have a choice

other than bringing up, and maybe you do that gently and softly, that maybe you say, I don't know, if it's cold feet, I don't know if something's changed. How are you feeling? But I don't think you can marry someone that you don't think you love or want to be with. Yeah, and if you're going to do it, do it like at the altar. Make it really dramatic.

No. Give your guests a good story. Don't you think I'd do it like, or I can't do this and run out the veil. No, you don't actually have conflict. You just leave. No, I'm joking. Have the conversation. Terrible advice.

Terrible advice. Good luck, Rachel, with wherever you land. Hope it's okay. Can you call us and tell us? I think we need a follow-up on this one. Yeah. I'll keep you updated. Okay.

Thank you so much, Rachel. Good luck. I'm sorry. All right. If you need some advice like that, have a pick up on Instagram. Send us a DM and we'll have you on the show. What would you guys do? Oh, she's doomed.

She needs to leave him. Yeah. It's true. She needs to leave him. She's got that feeling. She needs to go. Sorry. You do have to trust your gut.

Yeah. I think, yeah. I don't know if I'd be getting married. No, neither do I. All right. She's made of ed. What a cum. Now, Britt, you told an embarrassing story earlier today on the show.

It does not sound like me. No, it doesn't at all. But now I don't want to be, I don't want to be a story topper, but I've also had something very, very embarrassing happen to me this week, but it has to do with Marley May. So we were at the shopping center and like Marley's very good now. She's very toilet trained. I've got a three and a half year old. I've got a two year old.

Both of them are exceptional at toilet training. Okay, good. And so, you know, it doesn't matter where you are. It's like, mommy, go to the potty. So, you know, especially when you're in a shopping center, off you go trying to find the closest. because as much as they're good at it, you don't have a lot of time, right? So anyway, go on through the shopping centre,

find the closest public toilets. The only one I knew was at the other end of the shopping centre. So we, you know, hightail it and we get there and there's a bit of a line and we have to wait. Anyway, it's our turn. We go into the cubicle. Now, it is a long cubicle and I have both the kids in the cubicle with me. I've got Lola and Marley and we kind of all take turns.

Marley goes first. It's about my bum. So then you wipe one. and then the next one needs to go. In one singular cubicle? But it's a really long cubicle, so there's plenty of space. Like the corner suite. You know how the really good corner cubicle you can poo in?

Yes, first class. Yes, it really was. It's the big one. The door is quite far away from the toilet as well. Yeah, but guys, you know those big ones are usually the same toilet, right, Mitch? No. You know it's not the first class suite. No.

This one isn't disabled because it doesn't have any rails on it. It's just really long because of the way of the orientation of this bathroom. It's at the far end, right? Right, got it. But the toilet is long, but the door faces the line. Yeah, it's just business class in the toilets. Yeah, it's the premium seats of the public toilets. So anyway, Marley goes first, Mum wipe my bum, then it's Lola.

Mum wipe my bum. Do it all. I do the whole job. And then I needed to go to the toilet. Who wipes your bum? I'm still waiting. Oh, dear. Is that the smell?

Hey! So anyway, the kids have finished. I go to the toilet. I'm halfway through going to the toilet. Are you doing a poo? Must be. Must be number two. Yes.

Okay. Details are not important. But anyway, Marley decides that she's had enough of waiting. And she just walks over to the door and opens it. Mid whilst my pants are down around my waist. Mid the turd. I couldn't get up. Couldn't reach the door.

Couldn't stop. I was like, Marley, stop. Marley, Marley, stop. Marley, don't open that door. And she slings it right open. And there's a line of people standing right in front of me waiting. Two kids just hightail it out to the basin to go wash their hands. And this poor lady makes eye contact with me, walks over,

and then goes, oh, I'll help you. But you could tell in her mind she was. I'll help you wipe your butt. Finally. Wipe my butt. I was like, thank God, please. I've been waiting for days. No, you could tell by the fear in her eyes that she didn't know

whether to, like, help me by looking after the children or to help me by, like, closing the door and helping me with my dignity. Anyway, she grabs the door and she holds the door shut and I can just hear the kids out in the bathroom and she's like, don't worry, I've got my eye on them while she's holding the door shut. Anyway, I made eye contact with a complete stranger

while doing a poo. And then you had to finish the poop while she was holding the door. I rushed. I rushed. I finished it. Anyway, children suck sometimes. Children are terrible. They really, they do dirty.

That good Samaritan, if you're listening, we'll give you $10,000 or something for going through that process. Can we give her that money? Just a flippist in here being like, stop giving away money. We do not have. We have no money and we're not giving any money away. But I do give you my greatest thanks. And to everybody else who was in that line, there was about five people

and everyone pretended like they didn't see, but you all saw. And I'm surprised it hasn't come out in Daily Mail yet. So good.