Life Uncut - The best of THE PICKUP -28th May

Episode Date: May 28, 2023

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany.

And I'm Mitchell. And this is our radio show. every single week. We package up the best of the pick-up and we put it right here so you don't have to listen to the whole show if you don't want to. Look, we started out the show as friends. We're not really friends at the moment. Well, I'm friends with both of you.

Mitch and I, there is some rivalry in the room. I could cut the tension with a knife. The reason why these two are in a fight is because it's Media Week Awards this week and both Britt and Mitch have been nominated for the same award. Now, this is a very prestigious industry award. It is next of the best and these two are going head-to-head. I know.

I actually shooketh to the core that we got nominated, but also I hate having to go up against you because you're probably going to win. I don't mean, listen, I've been in the industry nine times as long as you. That's not going to be good if I win. Yeah, so if you win, there's going to be a real issue. If I win, it's really going to stay the same.

Well, guys, look, regardless of the fact that I wasn't nominated, I still love you both just as much. We still love you too. Thank you. You did test our knowledge of media facts on the show. Yeah, look, and if we're going to go off that, then, well, one of you is the clear winner. Time will tell.

Have a listen to that. Plus, I had my grandma's 85th birthday, my Alma, because I'm Dutch, and she was gifted an urn, her own urn, for her birthday. We were having a succulent Chinese meal and my auntie Karen went, hey, Alma, here's what we got you for your birthday. It's an urn. You can't do that. It was a little bit premature, wasn't it, since she's still alive.

She's alive and kicking. and she's very good for 85. She's got some good years left in her. I love your family. I love them. But you cannot gift someone an urn. Imagine if your daughter, it's not just someone, it was her daughter.

Her daughter gave her. Hey, Mum. Hey, Mum, this is for you. There's something I thought you always, I saw this and thought of you. Well, the worst part is where she bought it from. She didn't go to Temple and Webster and find Boneshiner. Let's not give away the whole story.

Otherwise, why are people going to listen to it? That's it. Yeah, you'll find out where she bought it from. Yeah, it's coming up. Is it coming up? Yeah, and I got into a fight with a woman at a kids' play centre about sharing and whether kids should or should not share. And I have some probably, you know what,

probably non-popular opinions about it. We're all doozed on the show. Well, that's all coming up. We're all fighting, aren't we? Yeah, it's a very combative show that we have today. Let's get into it. Okay, now I know I've been speaking about it a lot, but it's because it's taking over my entire life at the minute.

Dancing with the Stars. Oh, there it is, baby. Rehearsing day in, day out. Your ankles are sore from the samba. Oh, it's my hip flexors are really sore. I'm not doing the samba, but, you know, my hip flexors are sore. Purely from dancing, I would like to make that very clear because something that keeps coming up in every interview I've done,

in every conversation, mostly it's when you're doing the media, the publicity rounds. Yeah. It's the big conversation between, ooh, what's the chemistry like with you and your partner? There seems to be this almost like an expectation or there's this subtle innuendo that everybody, all the celebrities must be getting it on with their dance partners

or that there must be some sexual chemistry there. Well, chemistry is very important in a performance and in dancing because it's acting of sorts. So do you think they're just trying to be like surface level and inquire about the partnership? And you do get very close and you are kind of like rubbing your body parts on each other. Also, there have been affairs in the past, right?

There's been so many dancing affairs. Yeah, these are actually warranted questions. Yeah, to be honest, the rumours have been started by Britain. I believe it's happening. Don't put me in this, you, Mitch Durie. No, okay, this is what I've heard, that there have been quite a few celebrities in the past who have hooked up with their dancing partners.

I've heard it from inside the fold. Really? That there are some dancers who have gotten it on with their dance. I'm assuming their dance partners were single, not that they were married and in relationships. But we saw it last year, the controversy that happened with Grant Denya and Lily. There was news articles that came out trying to insinuate

that he was having an affair with Lily. And obviously we know Grant Denya is beautifully married to his gorgeous wife. He ended up winning a defamation case against it. But even myself, there have been so many questions that have come up from when I'm getting interviewed about the show and doing the publicity rounds around what's my chemistry like with Daniil and was Matt jealous or does he have anything to be jealous of?

Daniil's my dancing partner. Yeah, talk to us about Daniil. I reckon Matt's more jealous of the fact that you're on the TV, let alone that you're rubbing your genitalia up against someone else. No. No, to be fair, Matt wanted to kind of know who my dance partner was. He's done the show. He knows how much you spend time with the person, how intimate it is,

how you have to have, like, I would hate to be partnered with someone who you had sexual chemistry with because I think that that could be a dangerous thing. That'd be hard. And it would be really hard for your partner. But my partner, I mean, bless him, he's probably going to hate that I say it, but, like, there's nothing. I have more sexual chemistry with you, Mitch.

I know. He's so young. He's 21. Is he straight or is he gay? He's straight. He's 21. He's Russian. He's a lovely, lovely, lovely man.

Don't skim over the fact that he's Russian. She's like, ration. He's ration. No, no, no. I just mean like he's very militant with me, so he's quite bossy. And I don't like it in like a bossy, sexy way. But he's very like, you know, tells me what to do. And he's hot.

And I'm very stubborn. I don't like being told what to do. So that doesn't really work for us. Has he ever tried to put it on you? No! I'm just asking. Never! All right, okay.

Never ever. Even to the fact that we have such little sexual chemistry. We have to do this one dance, which is the storyline is like us being in love and then we've broken up. and now we're coming back together. It's meant to be quite emotional and beautiful. I can't even pretend because I start laughing. He could also be a child.

Yeah, he's 16 years younger than me. Yeah, there's a big difference there. Stranger things have happened. So when Matt did Dancing With The Stars and he was in the semifinals, were you jealous of his female dancing partner? So when Matt did Dancing With The Stars, I was only three or four weeks postpartum. Like I'd just given birth to Lola.

So I was feeling pretty shitty about myself at the time and he was gone for eight hours a day rubbing himself up against a beautiful, her name is Ruby, and I love her to death. She's just the most gorgeous thing. But, yeah, there was a part of me that was like, oh, God, look at me. Every time I fucking cough. Sorry. I'm so tired.

Sorry. That was very life-uncutting. Yeah. Every time I cough, I wee myself and he's out there on the dance floor with this tiny, tight little thing. Yeah, there was a part of me. Rub up against me. Rub me.

He doesn't want to rub me. I'm wearing a diaper. It was awful. So no affair. Because Britt and I have been texting and we thought maybe there was one. You did not. Yeah, no, we did. We actually put bets on Sportsbet.

You can bet on it. Can you? Will Laura have an affair? Yeah, not will Laura win. Will Laura have an affair? Well, we know the answer to will Laura win. You're not going to get your money on that one. No, that's why we put it on the affair.

Yeah, we're not going to win money on the other one. You're not going to win money on the affair either. I want to put it to rest in case any articles come out, in case anyone wants to try and insinuate anything. Zero sexual chemistry. I've witnessed the dancing. Can confirm there is no sexual chemistry. Okay.

All right. There you go. Take that, Australia. No chemistry at all. None. Zero. The score is zero for sexual chemistry. The score is zero, which I don't think is going to bode very well for us when it actually

comes to performing. No. You guys dance well, but clearly you don't like each other. No, we do. He's lovely. I like him. We get it. You're not having an affair.

We're not having an affair. We got it. We got it. Stop talking about it. Oh, now we're turning into one thing. He's like my brother. Okay. Got it.

Sometimes. He's 21. No, no one does. A brother from Tasmania. Yeah, Brett Haslam. I was thinking the same thing. Well, all day I have been listening to the two of you bicker because currently you're in a bit of a competition,

as we all have heard. We didn't put ourselves in it. What does that mean? You think you're going to blitz it? Well, what's happening? All right, okay. Look, it is a very big industry awards night tonight. It's called Media Week Awards.

They do it every year and it's only the best of the best. And, look, Mitch Turi and Britt Hockley, They are up for the same award Thank you I had that ready He's so good at media Now this is a very Sorry that was my sound effect

Hold on, Britt's so jealous that I've got real sound effects You bring your own bail Britt's sitting on a bike everyone Everybody stop This is a very prestigious award And I can only imagine How much it is killing the two of you That you're both nominees in the same category

almost as much as it's killing me to not be nominated at all. But since this is a Media Week award, and look, the one that you're up for is Next of the Best. It's quite the title, isn't it? It is. It's a bit confusing, isn't it? Are we the best or are we just sitting next to them? I think we're just next to them, maybe.

Oh, Laura's the best. We're just sitting next to her. Yeah, I don't know what it is. So the awards are tonight. We'll find out. The awards are tonight. We're going to find out who of you actually is the winner or if it's someone completely different and not on this show.

It's probably neither of us. But since this is a Media Week award, I thought it might be time to get to the bottom of this before it even kicks off. And I have a little quiz. I want to know which of you knows best when it comes to media. I can already say it's Mitch. This is a have you been paying attention.

All right. I'm going to ask you a few questions. Can you stop? Sorry. I'm going to ask a few questions. You have to say your name out. The first to say your name out gets to answer it, obviously. But if you answer it wrong, you lose a point as well.

Oh, shit. New rules. That's really intense, Joel. So if you've been paying attention to the news recently, you should know this, and I think as people, prominent people in media, you should have been. The Prime Minister of which country has visited Australia this week? Mitch, India.

Yeah, that was Mitch. He was first. What is the name? What is the Prime Minister's name of India? That wasn't the question. It gets you an extra point if you know it. His name is Paul. I'm pretty sure it's not Paul.

It's Narendra Modi. You lose a point, Mitch. Wait, so I'm back to zero? Yes, I did. That's not how the game should work. Laura is a taskmaster. All right, which streaming service has cracked down on sharing passwords? Go, Mitch.

Britney! No. It's Netflix. Yep. You are too loud. Two for Mitch. Okay, I'll quiet down. Halle Bailey.

I know the question because I know the person. It's The Little Mermaid. It is. Yes! I had that as well. The question was, Halle Bailey, Melissa McCarthy and Javier Bardem are in which new Disney film? Yes.

All right, number four. And do not cut me off, otherwise you'll lose a point. If you don't like sitting next to someone on an economy flight, Qantas is now allowing passengers to do what? You can purchase a seat next to you for $30, but only if it's available. Yes. And you did give me the amount. That was pretty cool.

So we're equal. No, because that's two points. Yeah, we're two each. All right. Jason Derulo will feature on which Aussie TV show? The Voice. Yes. Mitch. And last one.

Britt, if you get this, we're going to a tie breaker. Which city has the best Uber rating? Best Uber rating? Wollongong. I won. We tied. What was it, Mitch? Newcastle. Mitch wins.

I tried to throw him by saying Wollongong. They came third. You, Mitch Turi, are the next of the best. You're not the best yet, But you're next to be it. Can we have one final question? No.

The ultimate win? No, because you're two points behind now, Britt, so that would make you still behind. It would make you even. Whatever. See you at the competition, Mitch. Guys, I'm so proud of you both. I can't wait to see what happens tonight.

And even if neither of you win, you're both winners in my eyes. You know Mitch is going to win, right, because he's hosting. So whoever's name is actually on it, he's just going to scratch it out and say, oh, my God, it's me. Yeah, no one thought that through at Media Week. I'm announcing our own category. No, surely they're going to get a guest announcer in for the category.

I don't know. It'll be Mitch Turi either way. Well, good luck. I can't wait to see what happens. May the best man or woman win. Girls, I have just celebrated my beautiful Oma's 85th birthday. Aw, happy birthday, Oma. Yeah, I'm Dutch.

My Dutch heritage. She's beautiful. She's Dutch. She's 85. She was actually Miss New Holland. She was the face of Berry Juice in the 70s. I didn't know that. You'd shown me some articles, some news articles actually.

She's a model. She looks fantastic. She's beautiful. Is she your mum's mum or your dad's mum? Dad's mum. So on dad's side of the family, we had all the family fly in for her 85th. Because when you get to that old, you know, you celebrate the big ones. 85th.

You celebrate every single one. Every day. Yeah. So we go down, we drive about three hours to get to where she lives. All the family fly in from interstate. And all she wanted to do for her 85th birthday, God bless Alma, was go out to a Chinese buffet. Oh. And we went out.

That's an easy wish list. Yep. Chinese buffet. We're all sitting there. We have our dimsums and we have our honey chicken and we get to the end and we get to gift giving time. So we're all sitting there. Now, I give Alma my gift.

She loves it. Gave her skincare because she said to me, all I want, Mitch, is a serum. A serum. A serum. It's hard to buy for an 85. They've always got everything. Socks. Knick-knacks.

They've got it all. She wanted a serum, which was a serum for her skin. So I gave her a serum. She loved that. We gave her more gifts. She got a pair of shoes. We gave her more gifts. She's opening these gifts, big, beautiful gifts.

We get to the final one from my Auntie Karen, who is her daughter, her eldest daughter. And Auntie Karen's got this big, beautiful box. And we go, oh, this is going to be a nice gift for 85. and we're all sitting. Nespresso? Yeah, well, that's what I thought. We're at a round table at this Chinese restaurant, all celebrating Ulmer and her love at 85.

She opens this box and my auntie has given her an urn. What? A blue and white Dutch-style urn with a windmill on it. For somebody in the urn? The urn was completely empty. Was the urn a preparation tool? The urn was given to Alma as a gift to one day be housed in. Oh, my God.

Alma was given her own casket at a Chinese restaurant. It's literally like saying, I booked in for this cremation, babe, on this date. If you don't make it in time, like you haven't died yet, we can postpone the date. Reschedule. To be fair, she will use it one day. Oh, but you don't want to think about it.

No, you don't want that. What a wasted present. Get her another serum. Yes. Okay, what was her response to the urn? Was she gracious and appreciative or did she say, look, be early? I don't speak Dutch, but let me tell you, if I did, swear words galore. She was not happy.

She was really unimpressed with his urn. She was upset, offended, as you would be too. That's like the equivalent of you being given a coffin. Yes, imagine if someone bought you a coffin. I mean, they are expensive. No, it wasn't. She got it from Vinnie's, Brittany. It's a secondhand urn?

Because it was passed around the table. Give me a look at this urn. I turned it upside down. Vinnie's $8 was on the box. But that means somebody else has been in it. Yeah, and it wasn't even sealed. It was a cookie jar in a past life. Wait.

No, stop. It still had crumbs. You actually couldn't write this. Do you think that maybe somebody has used it for their grandparents and then they've gone and thrown them into the river or the ocean or something? That's what people like to do. And then they've gone, well, we don't have any use for old

Papa's urn anymore. We'll go and take it down to Vinnie's. Someone else can use it. A second hand urn. A second hand urn. Oma deserves better than that. Yeah, Oma deserves a brand new Tupperware, if anything. Well, yeah, she deserves a proper cookie jar, no?

The second hand, someone else has already been in. The thing is, it makes you contemplate your own morality at your own birthday. You are literally holding the product that you're going to be in for the rest of your life once you pass. It's really horrible. It's very grim, isn't it? My papa's sitting in a wardrobe at the moment. Yeah, see, it's pretty awful to think about.

Has he passed? You should probably go let him out. It's still too soon. Oh, my poor papa. Poor papa. No, but he's sitting in a wardrobe because he always said He wanted to go with Nana and be thrown into the ocean, but Nana's still kicking.

So he's just waiting. Oh, so he's just on hold. He's on hold. Oh, he's in the waiting room. He's just inviting his time in the back of the closet. Laura, you could put him on the dining room table or something. Jesus. Yeah, put him out on the fireplace.

Do people put them on display? Yeah, put them on the fireplace. They don't put them in the back of the wardrobe. I don't know. I don't know what people do with this. Yeah, it's a fireplace, front and centre. He's back there with the winter jackets and the summer doona while Gren's out there at the beach.

That's horrific. More respect for the elderly. That's what we've learnt here. Absolutely agree. You're poor, Omar. Happy birthday, Omar. We put all the leftover honey chicken in that urn while we waited. We went home.

Happy birthday. I brought my own takeaway. It might be a bit smoky if it's been used, though. Oh, Laura. Sorry. Can we end on a nice note? It's me. Next time I stay at Laura's house, I'm going to be terrified to go into the ward.

Don't go to the cookie jar. It's me. Don't go to the cookie jar. Guys, I have a bone to pick. Okay, get picking. I'm picking a bone. Who are you picking? Look, I do not in any way propose that I am, you know,

that I'm a parent who knows what they're doing. I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, we know. But I'm doing. We've established that. I'm doing the best job I can, okay? I'm doing what I think is the best that I can possibly do. Didn't you lose Osher's child a couple of days ago?

No, Osher lost his own child. I didn't lose Osher's child. I'm not responsible for other people's children. I've got two of my own and they're the only two that I'm responsible for. Okay, moving along. Okay, but the other day I took Lola and Marley. Marley's three, Lola's two. I took them to this, like, it's like an indoor play centre.

It's a beautiful play centre. The kids love it. You wear them out for a couple of hours, get them home, put them down for the naps. But in this play centre, there is, it's kind of like a kid's shopping centre. So all the kids get a little trolley. They can go around and there's, like, there's a little fruit section. All of it's pretend fake fruit, but they can go through

and they can do their shopping. And it's super cute. They can sit down and pretend to do their nails. There's a makeup area. Now, there's, like, 50 trolleys, like, little kids' trolleys in this place. And so the kids will have to wait and take turns if they want to use a trolley and go around and do their little grocery shopping. Adorable.

Lola, as I said, she's two years old. She's obsessed with it, absolutely obsessed. So when we get there, and because shopping is quite the main event for the kids, you've got to wait for a trolley to come available. And so she sat there so patiently. She's such a good little girl. She waited for her trolley. Finally one came available.

She went and got it, and she was going through the little shopping centre and filling it with all these plastic fruit and bananas and fish and whatnot anyway and she left her trolley for one second while she went to get another piece of fruit or something to put in you never leave a trolley unattended at the supermarket and there'd been this one little girl who'd been trying to take it from her whilst she was playing with it and obviously i was like you know i was i was an arm's distance away but i could see what was going on and as soon as lola walked a couple steps away this little girl came and she took the trolley and the mother came over and instead of saying to her own daughter oh sweetie that little

girl's playing with that she's you know she waited she's it's her turn yeah the mother turns around to lola who's two and says you need to share you need to share sweetie you need to share wait to your kid to my daughter and then the bear came out of hibernation here's the bone it's coming she has sucked the meat off that short pork chop she's picking her head everyone obviously she got so upset she started crying and she was so upset because she had waited her turn and it was her turn she was a patient girl it was her little trolley to play with right this is a big thing in a two-year-old's world and I walked over to the mum and I was like oh sorry my daughter's actually she's playing with that you know she's just she

just got it she's just started and she goes yeah but she needs to share and I was like I'm sorry she you're telling me she needs to share and now I know maybe this is not a popular opinion but I don't think kids need to share all the time I think that sometimes if they've got a toy and it's theirs to play with it's unreasonable to think that they constantly should have to share that with another kid so could they not have put like you know maybe made a week's grocery list together and done the shopping together no because they didn't live together that wasn't her house mate but she didn't want to share her damn yeah that's going to confuse her in the future if she shops with a random person okay am i in the wrong here by thinking that in this sort of instance

it's not appropriate to tell someone else's child that they need to share with something that they're already playing with that is theirs no you did the absolutely right thing what did you say to the woman. I can't picture Laura Byrne having it out with another mum in a supermarket over fake fruit. Can you? No, can I just say in a child's size. I'm really trying to picture it. No, I'm kind of picturing like two giants because I imagine

the shelves are children's hearts. So these two giant women are standing with shopping shelves up to their shins and they're yelling at each other while their kids are shopping. But they're like poking each other in the chest with a plastic banana like you need to share. But mind you, both kids are getting upset at this point in time. And so obviously, you know, I took Lola away. We ended up doing something else.

But she was so upset. And I think. You gave in. I gave in. You gave up the shopping. I gave up the trolley. But if you're so passionate about it. Getting disgruntled in the middle of a child's shopping centre.

It didn't seem like the juice was worth the squeeze at that point in time. But it did make me think. It made me think I don't think it's appropriate to always make children share. And the reason for that is, is that I think that sometimes they need their own autonomy. Kids get so upset. They get so fixated that they want something. They think it's theirs. They want to play with it.

They need to have a sense of ownership over something and if they've got their own little made-up game that they've kind of created and then all of a sudden they're being forced to do something that they don't want to do, I think sometimes you have to pick your battles with these things. Imagine as an adult if someone came up to you and was like, how does that chicken schnitzel sandwich look, Mitch? Mitch does it to me every day.

You need to share that with Petho. That's a bad example. Share that right now. Mitch literally does that every day to me, so that's a terrible example. All right, imagine you were playing with your favourite toy. You just got a new bike and you're riding it down the street and some complete stranger comes up to you and says,

you need to share that bike with that guy over there? I don't know. I'm not a parent, so this is completely unjust opinion. But my opinion is I think it's okay to make kids share. Other people's kids, though. No, you can't tell other people's kids what to do. No, I don't think you can overly parent another child. I'm not saying that.

I'm not saying she had any right to come and say to Lola, you need to share. But the idea around Laura's question, which is should kids have to share, of course they don't have to, but I would be encouraging my children to because I guess at the end of the day when you said, Laura, we have to have some autonomy and ownership, Lola doesn't own that supermarket, believe it or not. She's not an entrepreneur yet.

But she waited. She waited her turn. She waited patiently like everybody else did and so therefore shouldn't she be entitled to have her little go at the thing that she got super excited about. This is my other bugbear. When you go down to the beach and you've dragged all your crap down there, you've got all the shovels, all the spades,

and then everyone else's kids comes and takes them because their parents didn't bring any. Bring your own stuff. What if their parents couldn't afford the bucket and spade and you're by Lola sharing her bucket and spade, she's made another kid's day. It's more so that people don't prepare and then they expect other people to come prepared

and then all your stuff gets stolen by other two-year-olds. Oh, God, it's a vicious cycle, isn't it, Mitch? I'm not having kids. Us childless people over here. That's why I don't grocery shop. It's too stressful. Yeah, stop eating my lunch, Mitch. Yeah, it's too much.

Listen, the age-old question has been answered. We finally know the rudest city in Australia. Oh, I've been truly hanging on the edge of my seat to find out. What do you think it is? I reckon it's Sydney. Oh, definitely I'd say Sydney or Melbourne. I'd say Melbourne only because I'm from Sydney. Why do you think Melbourne ever...

I think Melbourne people are so lovely. They're artsy. They've all got gallery shows to go to. They make lovely coffee. I'm only saying it purely based off the fact that I'm in Sydney. Well, listen, the metric is very, very believable because it's organised by Uber. It's based on Uber ratings.

Oh, right, right, right. Yes, so the city-by-city rider rating rankings are back. They do it every year. So they reveal the cities that have the highest ratings, i.e. the nicest people, the most kind people, the sweetest people in cars, in Ubers. So what city is the winner? Oh, should I say the loser?

I'll give you the top three. Here's the top three. Number three in the country, Laura Byrne's hometown, Wollongong on the south coast of New South Wales. What is the third rudest? Lovely people. Third best, most best manners. Or the third nicest.

Yeah, third nicest, yeah. Stop trying to pin it on me, Brit. No, I didn't know which way this was going. It's the third nicest. Okay, second nicest. Number two, Cairns in Queensland. Second nicest. I believe that.

Yeah, it's really nice and sunny up there all year. Like, people are happy. Yeah, it's balmy. People are happy. The beach, it's always sunny. You're right. The kindest, nicest city in the whole country, based on Uber ratings, is Newcastle in New South Wales.

Do you know what? These all have something in common. They're all country towns. People are not stressed. There's not busy roads. They're not trying to get somewhere quickly. They're all relaxed. They're university towns too.

Having a nice time near the beach. Young people. Do you reckon that's what it is? Maybe it's just like the young people are being nice and happy and chirpy. I don't know. Well, the national average, because it's obviously out of five stars, Uber, is 4.82 and 4.89 was in Newcastle. But what we've done here on the show is scrap.

Who cares about the nice cities? Let's find out who the most well-mannered person on this show is. Oh, no. Britt Mitchell-Rora. So producer Tony here on the show, I'm going to invite you in. She's gone through our Uber ratings. That's why we all took our phones. They've been confiscated.

I should have known that something was happening. Tell us what you've done. I'm anxious about this. I'm very nice in my Ubers, but I don't talk a lot. I talk on the phone. They might not like that. I'm nervous. I've been in Ubers with you and you don't even know how to pay.

You've got a pay pass. I'm like, you don't need to pay, Brit. That was a taxi. I didn't know how to use a taxi pass once. She can't hold that against me forever. You're right. All right, I've stolen all your phones, I've gotten all your ratings, and I've also dug deeper and found out who has the most one stars as well.

Oh, no, can you read that stuff? I wouldn't be able to vote if I got a one star. But can we please acknowledge that some people probably take Ubers more than others if we don't have the same amount of rides? It doesn't matter if you're nice, Laura, it doesn't matter how many you usually get. Well, it should be a percentage, not a number. No, if you're nice, it'll show.

All right. That's something a mean person would say. It is, isn't it? I'm so worried. And it's something a one star person would say. Who's number three, Cody? Oh, why do I feel like it's me? Number three.

Give us the verdict. As in the best? The nicest. We'll do the nicest. Okay. With a rating of 4.8. Number of rides is 309, so decent. Okay.

And five one-star ratings. Oh, my God. Me. Mitchell. Oh, Mitch Chury. How did you dislike that lovely face, though? Five one-star ratings. What are you doing in there?

Out of 300, though. It's because I always eat all their Mentos. Like, I always take their free food. So is Mitch the winner of the bad rating? He is the nicest. Oh, you are the nicest. In my head, I thought you were the worst. No, he's so nice.

We're working backwards. I'm like, where are you from? Where's your family? I don't care where you're dropping me off. Let's go to your mum's house. This is awful. It's going to be me for sure. Okay, number two.

Number two. In the middle, the middle porridge. Oh, dear. Only just behind, with a rating of 4.79, 322 trips. Brittany Hockley. Oh, dear. Oh, my God. Yes!

With five one-star ratings. I had a fight with a Nooberman once. It was his fault. It was a full-on brawl. It was his fault. Oh, dear. That means... I'm a nasty person.

That means... The root of substantial. Oh, dear. Here we go. All right. Look, I'm ready and I'm also ready to debate my case as to why I get one-star ratings. All right.

Your rating's actually not that bad. You got 4.61. So it's not that bad. You're just below average. So pointless. Okay. You're just below that average. But you had 599 rides.

That's not good. That's double. That means that this is a really unclear answer. 599, that's double the amount of trips that either of you have taken. This one is really telling. Oh. The amount of one-stars you've gotten. Oh, no.

How many? How many? How many? You've gotten 19 one-stars. Oh, my God! 19? Yes, Sarah. Do you know why?

I'll tell you why. Because I used to work in the city and I used to make... this. Okay, I used to work in the city and it is a one-way street and once you end up on that road, it takes you all the way down. And they used to always say, oh, can we drop you off before that street? But I used to work in retail,

guys. I used to lug all my stuff around and I would say, no, you have to drop me at the door. I don't know if that's the reason, Laura. I do not think that's the reason. That is. And I also have children. I blame them too. Uber drivers around Australia, take this from us. And Brittany, two beautiful, kind five-starers, we apologise for Laura Byrne.

On behalf of Laura Byrne. I also hate talking to people. Sit there. Just be quiet. I don't want to hear about your whole life. Oh, thank God I wasn't asked. So good. I have some wild statistics that I have recently read.

We love some stats on this show, don't we? We do love some stats. Nothing but the truth here. Yeah, don't ask where it's from now. Reliable source, 6,000 people have been surveyed. Now, this is about bachelor and bachelorette parties. 70% of Americans have said that they have cheated on their partners while attending bachelor and bachelorette parties.

Now, I want it to be noted here that it's not just the bachelor and the bachelorette that are doing the cheating. Sometimes it is, but it's also anyone at the event. I also want it to be noted that cheating is a broad spectrum. It's different for different people. So this statistic ranges around flirting to downloading apps to sexting, texting to strip clubs to going the full hog. Okay, so this is everyone invited to a bachelor or bachelorette's party.

70% of people, yeah. Wait, and you said 6,000 people were surveyed. Yep, yep, 6,000 people surveyed about their unfaithful behaviour at these shindigs. So how many people are flirting and just having a little like, oh, you look cute tonight, versus getting a lap dance or, you know, having a schnog? Yep, so lap dance, I'm lucky you asked, Laura,

because I do have that stat here as well. Great. 33.1%. Again, lap dances. Yep. Kissing. Just the sound effect there. 21.3%.

I mean, I'll be honest, I've had a lap dance at a party. When you were with someone? But it was with a woman and I'm not attracted to women. I went to my brother-in-law's Bucks party and then I got a lap dance. I don't think that counts. No, I don't think that counts. Were you in a relationship at the time? Yeah, but with a man.

Would they have found that intimidating? They were also there and had the sister of the girl on them too. It was a double whammy. It was very fun. It was Vanessa and Spicy. Okay, 11.2%. This is the big one. 11.2% of people had said that they had slept with somebody else.

9% said they'd had a threesome. So that's 20% of people that are actually going the full hog and cheating completely on their partners. What happened at the Bucks party? Because I feel like all the Bachelor party, because I feel like this is more common than we think, apparently. For me, I mean, cheating is different for everyone. Now, for me, hypothetically, Ben, my beautiful boyfriend,

he does live overseas, so we have to have a lot of trust in our relationship anyway. But hypothetically, he's at a Bachelor party. If he got a lap dance, if he was with a bunch of people and a stripper came over, gave him a lap dance, no touching, moved on gave someone else lap dance i'd be probably mad about it wouldn't be comfortable with it but i wouldn't think that that was cheating but if it if there were any contact or it went any further 100 now i know that's different for everybody but for me i'm like okay

one night nothing happened there was no touching everyone i've got the same thing so i guess it's different depends on what your boundaries are relationship i'm with you i mean i've learned a lot about cheating in the last couple months but it depends on the relationship that you have with your partner. You have to communicate. Totally. You need to know what the boundary is for them and they need to know what the boundary is for you.

But in saying that, I think that bachelorette parties and bachelor parties are very triggering for some people because once you put that sort of cocktail of drinking, of having strippers, of temptation, of all the mates and the lads together, that there can be this additional peer pressure or this additional enabling that can make a lot of people feel really worried about what their partners are going to do, a worry that may not be there

in a normal day today or on a normal Saturday night out. Chelsea, hi, what happened at the party? Oh, hi, yeah, my husband, he was out for a bachelor party and you know, they got absolutely wasted and went to a

strip club and everything and I was fine with but then, you know, came home distraught because he'd gone to the clubs afterwards and actually kissed another girl. and he was upset that he'd done it yeah oh he was so torn up about it and you know he came in and i said you know what's wrong like you meant to have had this great night out um before you know our big day and he was just absolutely torn up about it and what happened did you like how did you feel about the whole repercussions well like at the time it was it was horrific no one ever wants to

have that happen to them I don't think um but you know it took a lot of work and a lot more communication to get through it and I said you have to really work for it and prove yourself to come back from this um but which we did which like both of us so excited and um grateful for but it was a real testing time in the relationship for sure did you push back the wedding at all um we did it was coming up quick but uh we pushed it back just a few months to really focus on ourselves and repairing what had happened yeah right crazy but the fact that he came back and was apologetic i think proves that it wasn't really there was a mistake yeah katie hi what happened at the bachelor party i caught my boyfriend uh my fiancee cheating on me with a

stripper so that was fantastic caught how like physically caught or just found out like inspect the gadget after the fact yes so i actually found out i mean it makes me look i look back at now i think he's so stupid because one of his bucksmen is like one of our mutual friends and i'm like his friend alex of ours you know we've been good friends for years as if he's not going to tell me and it all happened four weeks before the wedding oh my god did you still get married what what did he do what what was the cheating so he he slept with a stripper basically yeah so it that's how extreme it was biggest like walking red flag and you married him yeah no no oh hell no i haven't spoken to him i i so i got a call on friday from that the mutual friend alex who was like look i

can't let you get married knowing this information and i'm at work at the time and i i i think i was more angry than like upset i just saw red i packed up my stuff i i drove straight to my parents house and this is the worst bit so alex has then told riley the ex-fiance he's driven to the house to my parents house knowing that's where i'm gonna be we have this massive screaming argument on the front lawn like it was like a scene from how those because that he didn't that he told you yeah so he didn't tell me i found out from alex and then he comes trying to you know apologize obviously we're supposed to be getting married in four weeks and then yeah and I just said no this is like I and to be fair like I'm still fairly young and I'm like I wasted my youth

on you whatever and I'm just like no this is not happening oh my god thank god you didn't go through with it I mean thank god you you know you saw the light and you found out before you got married oh yeah well that's something like four weeks like and I just think like four weeks before you get married like you could have done this a year ago and I would have cut ties because a lot of the stuff, deposits were put down, you know, the floors, the tethering, and everything. You lose a lot of money. You do, and also the fact he could put you at risk. He could have got some sort of nasty down there, and he could have given it back to

you, you know? He's putting her at risk. It's true. No? Yeah. Yes, that's correct, Mitch.