Life Uncut - The best of THE PICKUP - 2nd April

Episode Date: April 2, 2023

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi everybody and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut podcast. I'm Mitch. I'm Laura and I'm Britt and I am in Dubai guys if it sounds weird I did a runner straight after radio normally we would record this uh top of the podcast when we're in studio however we all forgot all of us so I'm on FaceTime Mitch is in the studio and Brittany is like three quarters

of the way to a good dick yeah luckily all I ever do is stay in the studio so I'm here and Britt has the dicking happened or are you pre or post I'm I'm en route I'm on my way so it's a One flight to the other side of the world. So I'm stuck in Dubai at the moment and quickly jumped on, you know, we're not on holidays yet, jumped on to phone in to you guys, but I'm counting down the hours, that's for sure. That's so exciting. Laura, what are you doing?

What's happening with you? I'm currently hiding from my two children who are naked eating bolognese downstairs. That sounds like a dream. Nothing as exciting, let me tell you. Nothing makes bolognese taste nicer than just letting it all hang out, you know? They insist on eating everything naked in front of the TV,

watching peppa pig it's a whole thing but that's where i'm at in my life well you can tell britain are in very different stages i've got a burrito from guzman in the fridge at home and i'll eat that butt naked too tonight when i get home now guys quickly what was on the show this week it was very fun we got to speak to the one and only celeste barbara what an absolute champion that woman is we've been following her for so long having absolute hysteric attacks at her parodies that she does but we got to speak to her because she's produced and acted in a new netflix series well mania which from what we've seen is going to be bloody awesome i think my favorite one of my favorite stories from this week mitch it was a story that you told it was from a wedding and

truly was one of my highlights i i was invited to a wedding a friend's wedding and i won't ruin it now but the seat placement um for me and my boyfriend hayden was so bad and the reason why we were bumped like there were people on the left of us who were closer to the bride and groom um i'm not gonna i don't want to say too much because i don't want to spoil it but uh i was offended by my placement at the wedding but i don't think anyone was more offended than britney this week because laura you and i brought brit an ultimatum um that i think actually made her question whether or not ben was the one for her it's true oh i did not question it but you definitely put me on the spot you did well i mean i feel like you chose the right answer let's put

it that way the other thing that we spoke about this week now i don't know if you guys saw it on social media but martha from maths yeah uh we love martha martha has recently had a baby and she posted a video of her partner michael sucking the mastitis out of her breast and look there were a lot of feels across social media and there were a lot of feels in the in the recording studio also but all that and so much more on this week's episode we are taking a very short break we're going to be away from radio for two weeks is it two weeks guys who am i brits away uh getting um she's all loved up guys she's going to come back on cloud nine and we'll be back in a couple weeks guys i saw something on my instagram feed and i need some help unpacking it and decoding it

working out is this normal from a straight couple because sitting in front of me are two straight people yeah i'm so glad we got to the bottom of that on the edge of my seat you're gay we're straight what do you want to know well the people in the cars going are they straight you never know britney hockley you know is this an anatomy lesson what are we doing here no it's not no anatomy this is us unpacking this instagram post that was put up by martha kalamata martha from math mother from math she just had a beautiful baby her and her partner michael correct and everyone loves those two they are i think they have excelled past their season they're now known as one of Australia's most beloved couples.

And this was posted to Martha's Instagram account last week. Have a listen to this. You've got to suck harder than that. The baby sucks harder than that. It's not one constant. It's got to be like sucking. How do I suck in your heart than that? How does the baby do that?

I don't know. Mitch, you've got to give us some context before you play something like that. No, that's a very good call. That's her boob. She's got a blocked milk duck in her boob because she's currently breastfeeding. And her partner got down on the couch and sucked it out. What? He's doing God's work.

She's got mastitis, the poor thing. That is possibly the most painful. I've only had it once. It is horrible. It is a horrible thing to experience, mastitis. Well, this is why I bring it to you because is this a normal thing that you and your boyfriend Ben do, Britt and Laura, you and Maddie J, do you guys do it?

I'm not breastfeeding, but I guess we could be practising it. Oh, my God. A little bit of suckling going on? That's too much information. Well, I thought let's just go straight to the source. And joining me now, the man who would do the sucking, if ever, is Maddie J. And he joins us on the line now.

Now, welcome to the pick-up, Maddie, Laura's beautiful husband. Hello. You don't have to join this conversation. It's not mandatory. He called us an ass. He was so eager. He actually sent me the post. He said, hey, have you seen this on Instagram?

Let's talk about it. She has a blocked milk duct. She needs to have it expressed out. You can use like a pump, but, you know, one of the best ways to unblock it is to get someone to suck it out. If the baby's not hungry, who's going to do it? Slightly irrelevant piece of information. Actually, not that irrelevant as an update.

It's actually an abscess. so he was never going to be able to suck the abscess out. She's in hospital now with an abscess. Oh, my God. Matt, we asked Laura this morning, this in conversation earlier today, we were like, hey, has Matt ever tried your breast milk? She could not for the life of her remember.

So we wanted to ask, have you ever tried Laura's breast milk? I'm actually really offended that she said that she doesn't remember because for me it was quite a beautiful memory. Oh, shut up. Until I'm an old man. I remember like it was yesterday, it was a Tuesday afternoon and the kids were in daycare. Marley actually at the time was in daycare

and Laura was sitting there, plump, both upper region of the breasts were. She was full. And I said, Laura. Why are you being so weird? Stop. Go on, kid, please continue. You just said yourself it's a beautiful thing. It's natural.

It's great. Everyone should do it. I had a try. You were like rationing your milk to me. It was like you were afraid that I was going to take it all off Marley. You gave me like a drop and a half. I wanted more. You didn't give it.

So you tried. What was the delivery method? Did you sit underneath the teat or did she pump it into a bottle? I do remember this now. No, she was really conservative. I was ready to do it the old-fashioned way where I'd latch on. She went to the kitchen and gave it a little squirt into a cup. But one thing that really amazed me was just how much power is able to be given

to breast milk as it leaves the boobs. And Laura, do you remember you were in the bath one time, Marley was in the bath, and I was brushing my teeth, and I was maybe, I'm going to say it was a solid meter and a half, like possibly pushing two meters away from you. And you said, I reckon I could hit you from here. And you, from laying down, you shot your boob two meters across the bathroom, doused me in breast milk. It was one of the most erotic experiences of my life. Oh, it was not. This is not foreplay. It's just the stuff that couples do to each other when they're weird.

Oh, it's like one of those things at a carnival with a clown head that moves while you spray water into it? It's worked so far. What I don't understand is that if I'm going to drink it, she'll give me a drop, but then... She'll squirt you and hose you down like you're in quarantine. Doesn't make any sense. Oh, thank you, Maddie J.

Straight to the source, so to speak. I cannot wait for the Daily Mail articles that are going to come out about that. I'm pretty sure you've actually told it on the podcast. Why didn't you let him latch on naturally? Just because that's weird. It's for the baby. It's like a real connecting thing and I didn't really want to nurse my husband. For the baby, it's for the man.

Is there a defensive mechanism you have as well? Can you use it to get out of a tricky situation? Yeah, like any time I feel under threat, I just squirt them and run away. Oh, that's fantastic. The old squirt and run. All right, you guys know that I don't love puppies, right? You have had a problem with little Delilah for a while. Can I just say, that's not something that you tell people.

I didn't realise that was a trait. It makes me sound like I'm a psychopath, but I genuinely don't like puppies. I just think that they are so nippy, they bite you, they piss everywhere. Like kids? Yeah, maybe that's why I don't like puppies. Exactly, it's like a small child. Oh my God, we've just cracked the, there we go, there's free therapy. No, because I have two children, I don't need another child to take care of.

I get it. And I like old dogs. I'm all about just ones that want to have a cuddle on the couch, they know when they need to go to the toilet, they sit by the door. Missing a leg. reliable. Is this like a Delilah intervention? What are you getting at? No. The reason why I wanted to talk about this is because there is a poor woman

who has been forced into getting a puppy from her husband. Oh, sounds awful. She has said she didn't want one. Now this went on for years. She was pushing back saying I don't want a puppy. Anyway, finally he wore her down. Not only did they get a puppy they got a German Shorthead Pointer. Do you guys know what they like? Yeah, I have one. They're beautiful.

What are they? So beautiful but they need so much exercise. They are neurotic. Lovely neurotic dogs. They are, yeah. They're a bit cute. Can I just say I love the balance of Brit who adores dogs, has her own dog Delilah, and then Laura who just can't stand them. That is not true. I love dogs. I have a dog.

I have a three-legged bull arrow. He is my angel, but I don't like puppies. Okay, fair. I got him at one and a half, and that's the age that you should get a dog. Anyway, okay, we're going off. We're going off pieces. She's so impassioned about this. I know.

Where's this going? I don't know. Leave them with the dog trainer until they're one and a half. No, okay, so this poor woman, she finally caved into getting a dog, and she feels like her life has been ruined. This dog has absolutely, she says, it is like she's in a living hell. It poos all over the place. It crushes her plants.

It digs up pots everywhere. There is literally urine all over the house. It's toxic and it's killing everything. She said, I struggle every single day and I feel like I'm being pushed out of my own space. My marriage hinges on this dog. So she's gotten to the point now where this has gone on so far that she is going to give her husband an ultimatum.

She's going to ask him. It's me or the dog. Oh, wow, big question. That is a huge question. What would you do, Brit? Okay, if Ben turned around, because Delilah is, she's getting better, but she's a year and a half now. How many things has Delilah eaten of yours?

How many designer handbags, shoes? A lot, but it doesn't matter to me because my love knows no bounds. No, but you walk into your house, Brit, and you smell dog hair. You have to brush it off your clothes. You can't sit on the couch. You're buying a new couch because you've only had your couch for a year and a half, but your couch is ruined because of your dog. I don't understand.

Is this a hate against Delilah and me? Where do we get that? Laura brings up a good question. Would you leave your new partner, Ben, of how long has it been? It's only been about six months. Yes. If Ben turned around and said, Brit, this is a real problem. I can't live like this.

Delilah is an absolute hazard to everyone and everything. What would you do? Would you leave him? Would you keep Delilah? Like what's the ultimatum you would decide here? Bye Ben Get rid of him hey Yeah Delilah would have to win

Because she's my first true love Wait so you would break up with Ben And you love Delilah more That's what I'm hearing I wouldn't break up with Ben But if Ben was like Yo Delilah or me I'd be like you're going to live a lonely life buddy

Wow that's interesting Because live from Scotland Joining us on the line is Ben Brit's beautiful boyfriend Hi Ben Well hello Brit Did you hear that? I did hear that.

Very interesting, I have to say. Do you realise that you guys just set me up for failure. This just shows where you sit in the pecking order of Brit's life. That's what this is. I know. I mean, I'm on the phone when Brit walks Delilah and she throws a tantrum every day. She eats her Invisalign, she eats her expensive handbags

that I bought for her, and yet I'm the odd man out here. So I just, it's a very simple question, babe. If Delilah or me was drowning, who would you save? I mean, we've really got to put it to the test here. If you were both drowning? You can't say both. Just one. I like to think I'm pretty superhuman.

Nah, that's a terrible answer, Brittany. They're in two separate lakes. No. What, Delilah's a dog. She can swim. Delilah's falling off a cliff. She's holding on by one single paw right now. One paw, yep.

And Ben's drowning. because he's from Scotland and there's not many bodies of water. You guys are so cooked. And he's not athletically strong. We know that. He's not an athlete or anything. Ben's from Switzerland. He doesn't swim.

Who would you say? Me or the dog, which is it? Oh! Unbelievable. Honestly, unbelievable. No more nice handbags for you, Brittany. Babe, babe, babe, babe. You're pretty long.

I would throw you a rope, pull you in, and then I'd go and save the dog. You're 6'6". You can look after yourself. I love you fiercely, Ben. He could probably stand up. I mean, it's a hypothetical. I mean, you know. It is a hypothetical.

But come on. Like, come on. Seriously. Laura, let's leave them to discuss. You can fight about it in your own time. Thank you, Ben. Love you. Call you later.

I feel like we need to just leave those two. Guys, you are cool. You just set me up big time. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, enjoy that. You know, when I ask you guys for a set up, it's usually like set me up with a guy, not set me up for failure.

Well, now we can set you up with a guy because you might be single again. Well, it looks like I am. All right. I am still reeling from last night's maths. You're addicted. I love it so much. And I don't know what I'm going to do with my life now that it's all come to an end. Maybe parent.

Oh, overrated. I only allow myself to do the recaps because I'm scared of the addiction I'll develop. Because I don't want to end up like you. It's not that bad, guys. Okay, but speaking of the recaps, now I'm hoping you've both seen it, but there was truly the most brutal breakup last night on maths and it was between lindell and cam now cam is he's from darwin he's the guy who loves fishing and going getting lost in the bush for months on end by the sounds of it real simple nice aussie bloke so yeah like honey badger well i don't know i feel

like the way he led lindell on throughout this whole thing because the poor girl like for so much of this experiment she was kind of just she was just like wanting him to love her and he was like oh i'm not there yet i'm not there yet clearly was never gonna get there his mind was still in the bush but last night lindell yeah it was last night linda really stuck it to him she really told him exactly how she felt and she got to read out her final vows and look they were impressive i realized that there was never anything i could do to be the partner you wanted because you simply don't want one this entire relationship has been on your terms and yours alone my commitment has been taken for granted if there is one good thing that cystic fibrosis has given me it's resilience

I have now been given a miracle, a fresh start, a new version of my life that is completely unburdened and unlimited. I won't spend another moment of that life restricted, not by my condition, not by my body, not by fear, and certainly not by you. Well said. Before you start, I just feel like no matter what you say today, it's only going to disappoint me again.

I think I'm just done. Hi, you got me in a car. I'm out of here. In a Hilux. Boom. And then Cam threw his vows on the ground and walked right out of there. Very dramatic, Cam. Oh, it was.

But you know what? We have Lyndall right here on the phone. Lyndall, welcome to The Pickup. Hi. Hey, guys. How are we? How are you feeling after watching that all go down last night? Oh, my God.

I mean, I feel mostly relieved, actually. Like, it's been such a hard slog re-watching it all, and then to finally be like, now there she is. That's me. Like, that's what I deserve. of like yeah very relieved it was really like such a powerful speech but did you ever like after cam had thrown his vows on the ground did you take a moment where you were like god i really want to read them there was so much going through my head at the time that like it wasn't until i'd walked

off that i was like oh maybe i should have picked them up but no no i think it was yeah better that i didn't were you tempted to pick them up and and read them at all or are you tempted to hear them because we actually have the vows here right now. Oh, I mean... Cam was on the Kyle and Jackie O show this morning and they asked him to recite the vows and he recited the vows. So we thought we'll play them for you and we'll get your actual take so you can actually hear what he would have said

if he didn't get in his Hilux and go straight to BCF. Yeah, so this is the vows he would have said to you on Maths, Lyndall. Throughout this experiment, amongst all the good times we've shared, I've also had my fair share of concerns about the future. We live completely different lifestyles and being together would mean one of us would have to change our life completely. Another major concern is the way we handle our conflict.

You can say I can't sit down and talk through tough times, but you never ask the question because you're too scared of the answer. You feel like you like to air our dirty laundry in a public environment, which really pushes my buttons. Throughout this experiment, you have needed more affection, reassurance and emotion from me. I've taken the time to reflect on why

I haven't been able to give you these things. I think these things flow naturally when you are falling in love, which I'm not. I listened to this this morning and I was like, thank God we didn't have to hear it on the TV last night. Yeah. How do you feel hearing that? I mean, I don't know, pretty unsurprised actually.

I think Cam has a very set way of how he thinks everything should go and how he thinks that I should have behaved. But, like, I also know that, like, it's like it just continued to be hypocritical. It was like you never ask the question. I'm like, well, when I did ask questions, you would get mad and storm out. So what do you want me to do? How do I get that conversation going then if you're going

to constantly leave and then never readdress it with me? It's also not my job to ask you how you're feeling all the time. You are more than welcome to come to me. And then I think as well airing Dirty Laundry, like did this guy not realise we were recording and going to be on national TV? Like what? People often forget that.

As someone that's done reality TV, people definitely forget that. Yeah. did you feel led on by him did you feel like he led you on throughout the process because i i think it was only really right there at the end that he actually started to be honest um and i think a lot of the people watching it i know i felt that way but they felt angry for you like you'd been kind of um you know you were trying so hard in this instance and and to be loved and then he kind of had already checked out but was still staying anyway yeah i definitely felt led on and I felt, like, extremely confused because we were really good

and we did have a very good connection, a very strong connection and got along, I don't know, better than I was expecting to get along with whoever I was matched with. But, yeah, it wasn't until those last few weeks that he started saying things like, it'll never work, and, like, every conversation we'd had before that was that we were going to work and he was going to travel to WA and, like, work his way down the coast.

So he was gaslighting you. It sounds like he was gaslighting you the whole time only to drop the vows at the end and walk out. What a pig. But that's my question. Do you think he was gaslighting you the whole time or was there a time where you genuinely were like, yes, this is actually going to work

or was there something that happened off air that the audience didn't see? So was there some big moment where you're like, far out, this is actually not going to work and we just didn't see it? I don't think it was the whole time. I think that first, like that, especially that first month was absolutely incredible

and like even the challenges and the tasks that we got from the experts I remember doing an active listening one where I was trying to get him to talk about maybe why he was struggling with talking or struggling with showing that affection or showing that emotion and he did really really well he really tried and I I was like jumping up and down on the couch saying how proud I was of him like it's hard because there was so much good that just that didn't get shown um but also like it was really I don't know to have that change was And I was completely, like, unaware of how to fix it. Yeah.

Yeah. Because he's never had a relationship before, has he? No. And so I think that, like, started a lot of the patience that I had and a lot of the time that I spent trying to help him through that. Lyndall, was the relationship or was his mum as horrific as she was on the show? Like, was that really as bad as we all saw?

Because she wasn't a lovely person at all. And I can't imagine that, you know, it was as nice as we all saw. Yeah, I think in terms of Cam's mom, I know that she was always skeptical of the experiment. Like even on the wedding day, she was like, oh, I want to go home. But I think as well, you know, when you go to your family and friends and you kind of say like this is what I'm going through, this is what I'm sick of. Like if you need to vent, I think obviously people need to go and be able to vent to someone. But I think Cam maybe didn't think too much about how that was going to impact our relationship. because I think that his mum kind of came into it thinking

that I was the worst. So rather than, like, getting to know me herself or, like, really applying, like, herself or asking any questions, it ended up just being, like, extremely tense the whole time. Maybe she's the reason that he's never had a relationship. She probably had, sounds like she had some preconceived ideas and didn't want to budge. Linda, we spoke to Duncan yesterday,

so we heard that you've already filmed the reunion episode. Yeah. Did you see Cam and what was that like? I did see Cam. It was very interesting because I think after everything that happened at final vows, it was like all the respect just went out the door. So, yeah, we hadn't spoken at all and then going into reunion, there were quite a few like little rumours and things swirling

around that upset me quite a bit. Yeah, I imagine. And then, yeah, so it was quite tough. And I think it's hard as well because I genuinely don't like tearing other people down, especially not in a public setting. And so it was really hard for me to approach those issues in a setting where I was emotional and I knew that everybody was there and, like, yeah. So it was really quite tough to see him again.

Oh, Linda, look, I think you dodged a bullet, to be honest. Absolutely. You would have spent your life at Kathmandu and you would have had those camel backpacks on hiking in the mountains. He would have, yeah. Spammy. Left for months while he was out bush. And he would have stunk.

And the man like Cam doesn't wash his butt. We all know it. So you dodged a bullet, Lyndall. There's only good things coming for you, Lyndall. We love you. We're hashtag team Lyndall. There she is from Married at First Sight. It's Lyndall.

I can't wait for that reunion, that's for sure. Oh, it's going to be spicy. I like that everyone describes it as interesting. Because there's only so much you can say. Be like, oh, interesting. It's going to be an interesting one. So media trained. Fly on the wall.

Now, I know I'm in my wedding era. All my friends are getting married at the moment. Oh, you really are. They're really every weekend. I mean, I'm not jealous, but like every weekend you go to a wedding. Well, it's my mid to late 20s, so that's when all friends start to get married, you know, and where I'm from, they get married, they have babies, they get a house. It's very the vibe.

Yeah, you are in the wedding area. Yes, so my friends are getting married, and these are very, very close family friends to me, so not really in the friend circle every weekend, but we go back a long way. So I wasn't expecting to be sat next to the bride and groom at the table. You know how the table seatings at weddings are very political? Oh, yeah. I had a great seat at your wedding, Laura, with Maddie. I was very impressed with my seat.

Thank you. Because seating also is a hierarchy, right? It's like if you're seated close to the bride and groom, then you're obviously very important to them. And the further out you are, the less important you are. Exactly. You were literally next to me at Laura's wedding. Thanks for remembering.

I was closer, actually. Thanks, Lost. I get to this wedding with my boyfriend, Hayden, and my family are there. It's a family friend's wedding. So my mum and dad are up really close to the bride and groom. I go, that's okay. Hayden and I get to the first table. We go, our names aren't on here.

We go to the second table. Names aren't on here. All the way to the sixth table, and our names are on the sixth table, right down the southern end at the furthest point from the bride and groom. And I go, I get checks out. That's okay. Your table was in the toilet. Good for a very quick exit.

Exactly, and it was right next to the toilet, which is a bit unfortunate, but I sort of copped that, and it was all right. I sit down at our seat, and I notice there are four seats on the left of us, free so i move up we go clearly people aren't here so we sit in these seats and we sit there and um the mc comes up to us and he goes sorry guys do you mind moving out of these seats they're not your seats you've got your own seats and i go oh oh they must be arriving late country wedding and wait these four seats are closer to the bride and groom and just better seats better seats closer to the bride and groom a bit further away from the toilet yes exactly so we move back to our two last

seats at the end of the table the wedding starts i go god these people are running really late you They're not going to make the wedding. They've already missed the intro and the first dance. We're sitting there and the dad gets up to make his father of the bride speech. In the middle of the speech, he starts to walk towards us. And I go, oh, my God, what's going on here? Why is he coming over to me? Maybe he knows I'm a radio announcer and wants me to speak.

I'm getting ready. MC. MC on the fly. He comes up to us and he stops. He stares at these empty seats and he starts to cry. And I think, oh, my God, what has happened? Oh, my. No.

He says, there are so many of you here in this room that we love with all our hearts, but there are some here that couldn't make it to this room today. That's why we have left four empty seats to represent Nonna, Poppa, Nanu and Papu. We couldn't make it. So you're telling me you got shafted for dead people? For the deceased. We just brought them at the end of the table. Why put them in front of me?

So you are less important than people that are no longer here. Yeah, and I fully appreciate it. It's a beautiful gesture. I think it is lovely and I'm not making, that was beautiful. And I teared up because I was at the very end. But I was gutted for a moment and Hayden and I are playing footsies under the table going, have we really been shafted for people that aren't even alive?

I think that's funny. Were these like long tables so there was a break in the middle and you were just like next to the empty seat? Yes. Like you'd been sectioned away. And so did they also get, like, did the deceased get food? No. Did you get to take their meals?

That's what I was so mad about. They got bread, which is why I thought they were coming. But I didn't even touch it. And God forbid, you know, as soon as it was announced that they were no longer arriving at the wedding, I ate their bread and I enjoyed it. I had all their carbs. There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that at all.

It was a beautiful wedding. I love that. Poor Nana and Papa. Poor Nana, of course. And Papu and Nanu. And Papu and Nanu, of course. So jealous you guys got to hang out with Celeste Barber. We did.

Isn't she just fantastic? She is truly a very funny woman. Yeah, she went viral a couple of years ago, got famous, because she would mock celebrities' ridiculous Instagram posts. She does the parodies. She does, yeah. I want to know if she's had any backlash. Like, have there been any celebrities that have gotten annoyed

by her parodying them? Oh, and there have been. That's a long list. Well, she's got a brand-new Netflix series out, Wellmania. Let's roll. You two with Celeste Barber. Celeste Barber, huge fans here. We've stalked you for a very long time on the Gram.

Do we call it stalking? You've stalked me. How did you get in? It's stalking because I've definitely slid into the DMs a few times. That's stalking. It's mine. Yeah. What have you said?

Well, A, love you. B, love you. C, can you come on the podcast? Maybe now she'll have to because it's like on the spot. We're waiting for the reply still, but that's fine. You left us on read. You know what? I'll get my people to get back to your people.

No, congratulations. Absolutely huge. Well, Mania, how did you, I feel like for me, it was not an overnight thing, but I didn't think you were that into acting. I know you do it on the gram, but is this something you've always wanted to do, your own TV series? I'm a full-blown actor. Like, I'm talking, I've trained All Saints. Remember All Saints?

Five years on All Saints. I know you did Home and Away. Oh, like, that was quick. Cameo, yeah. Yeah, well, no, I was a contract there. Five years on All Saints, then I did The Letdown. I've always done acting, but then people started to give a shit when Instagram kicked off. They're like, who is this girl?

I'm like, I've been here forever. so it's kind of that thing of like overnight sensation 25 years in the making because it never actually is an overnight sensation never yeah there's always so much behind the scenes work that goes into it absolutely absolutely in well mania you're playing the character of live who goes and has a whole lot of crazy things done in in the world of wellness but in your actual life what is the wildest thing that you have done in in you know the bid for health me i'm thinking of the lemon detox diet that's what i did i didn't do that isn't it spicy isn't there like pepper in it it's just diarrhea yeah it's not so much the spice it's the aftermath that some

people have to worry about but that's the point right isn't that what you're trying to do just don't do it at all no i'm not gonna do it it's the unhealthiest thing you'll do it's like go on this diet you just drink water and have diarrhea so do not and they charge you like a hundred dollars a day or something yeah genius so you didn't do that no no i did a colonic not for the show i just had to a few years ago because it was a thing but not i need to actually clarify that i had emergency open heart surgery when i was 25 and a year after that i had to get a colonic because it was all full-on i feel like i need to clarify that because when i keep saying i had to get a colonic people probably think something's wrong with my ass

yeah generally speaking but that's kind of that's the weirdest thing i had to do and it's that thing where you're like you can't eat sugar you can't eat anything that tastes good don't eat anything that makes you feel good about yourself don't eat it just you know breathe through your mouth that's all you can do then I got a colonic and I will never do it again so if you have had open heart surgery how much of a connection do you have to live did you go down this track in real life of of just trying to live your healthiest life or are you nowhere near what she does well the thing is because when we meet this character of live it's not as though she's halfway through a wellness journey and we're kind of just picking up halfway through she is treating her body like

an amusement park she has absolutely no intentions on stopping living the life that she's living in new york and killing it as an amazing journalist and all that thing thing it happens to her that she has to reassess so i kind of was like i don't actually have to do too much wellness stuff because she hasn't and i think she's there is my method like that i mean i stayed in bondi for two weeks prior to filming and i just watched everyone else do it and i was just like drinking you know a cocktail and going you guys are doing it i'm just doing research i get it now you also worked as a producer on this executive producer yes so what's it like being in front of the camera but also then having a say in the actual execution of the show it's brilliant i love it i ate it up it was so

because i'm so invested in this show and i've been a part of it excuse me that's just my alarm so i um i just need to take my adhd medication just turn that off i thought you're gonna say need to take your wheatgrass shot that's time for wheatgrass you know there there there's your wellness yeah tuck that back under excuse me um i think because as i was saying i was really close to this from the beginning so i'm i've been invested like heart and soul from the beginning so it was really nice to be a decision maker leading up to it and then while we were filming as well like kind of doing things like you know there'd be a question going around going oh i wonder if um this or this should happen maybe maybe we should ask an executive and i'd be like

yeah oh that's me oh well i think this and i i realized it came quite naturally to me like i really enjoyed being the boss and kind of bossing people around which way do you think you'd gravitate in the future do you think you would want to say in front of the camera acting or creating producing behind or you're just going to produce and both acting both forever i would love to do both acting is my baby it's my first love and and I'm so pumped that I get to do it again like that I'm doing it I'm back in it um but I I'd like to kind of do both I like putting those hand in hand I really I really enjoy doing it I feel like for so many people who follow you and who have loved you for so long it's also off the back of your Instagram and that is where so

much of this has come from you and this is for anyone who's not across it but you do some of the most hilarious parodies of celebrities and it is almost a way of being like if a normal person was doing the poses that a rich skinny hot person was doing this is what it would look like where did that inspiration come from to start with i think because when i started doing it i think about eight years ago now that's so many years a long time it's also a long time to have the same type of content but it's still nails yeah look don't worry that comes up a bit where I'm like, oh, my God, am I still doing this shit? Oh, my God, like, come on, let's spice it up.

Do I have to put this outfit on again? You're a photo from the Oscars, and yes, you are, and you nailed it. Oh, well, that feather, I had to. I had to. That was amazing. Yeah, missed opportunity. That was actually Philomena, my makeup artist. She was like, feather duster, and I went, oh, my God.

That's enough. One of the reasons I started, mainly because, you know, I wanted to make people laugh, and I thought, you know, social media came around, and it was a way to reach the world, and I wanted to work more as an actor, and I was like, I can put this out there. I can show that I'm funny and I know what I'm doing at the same time social media came when it came around at that time the images that I started parodying were being shown to us as every

day as this is what normally happens and it was a heavily curated photo of a I don't know a woman on a yacht going ah school drop off and I'm like hang on a minute you know what I mean and I was like you know in the days of magazines when that's all we had they have their own issues but you know you'd see a high concept photo shoot of cindy crawford hanging from a building on a motorbike you're like well that's cindy crawford hanging from a building on a motorbike for louis vuitton ad you saw that for what it was but then when it started getting passed off as every day and it was like that whole body and body shaming industry really started to kick off you know with social media backing it i was like no no this isn't good this is going to cut through and you know we're on

our phones i remember you know breastfeeding well couldn't breastfeed having my kid and just like three in the morning looking at photos going i hate myself well it's this comparison culture because even if you are feeling good about yourself that day you wake up and you're like yeah i'm rocking this i've got it you go online and you're like wow i really don't have it because this person is perfect they're driving to bentley to walk to their yacht to go on their holiday in Croatia and you're like here and slogging it at home and there was the the line between looking good and feeling good was getting blurred it was getting so blurred so it was that thing of going oh I feel really good and you know social media's like that's great but you don't look like this

oh okay well it doesn't matter then and I said that on my first stand-up show my first world tour that I did but I was like I don't because I get sent a lot of stuff but I was like I don't support any products that make women feel that we need to look a certain way to feel a certain way they are different things wellness and body shaming wellness and diet culture are different worlds totally and when they started to blur i was like no no no i got something to say about this have you ever had a celebrity not enjoy the parody that you've done yes and did they tell you how do they tell you well they block oh that's it they're just like i've had enough you can't don't block me no one's written to you and try no i don't want to get into it no no okay what would be we're

wrap this what would be probably your favorite most iconic parody oh like who oh when i made up with tom ford and we did a parody of his own ad that was probably my favorite one and if you executive produce that you'll be like we need another take can we do another take yeah it's like pretend that you're recording but don't record i was like they weren't recording babe we have to do it again now let's do a slow-mo yeah exactly and in reverse and costume change yeah so let's thank you so much you are an absolute delight and we can't wait to see the whole show long distance relationships team i want to talk about it i'm in one my boyfriend ban lives overseas they are difficult and they come with their problems but the problems we're

having probably aren't what you think oh yeah i have just done the ultimate most embarrassing thing that you could do in a relationship that's not even long distance but i've done it Last night, because we're in a time difference, right? So he's in Europe. He's in Switzerland at the moment. And so when he wakes up, it's my night time. So I'm always getting ready for bed. Last night, the phone, we FaceTimed twice a day.

So the phone's on my hand. I'm dying to listen. You guys FaceTime all the time. You're on FaceTime to this man 24-7. Listen to what I've done. Listen to what I've done. Like the first thing you want to do, right, in a relationship is impress the family. Well, I think I impress them.

The FaceTime starts ringing. Have you not met the family, by the way, or you have? I've met them only for a couple of minutes, literally. In December when you were there. In three minutes, in passing, because we're both rushed in different flights. So no real impressions have been made? No. Got it.

And they listen to the podcast, so the impressions probably aren't great anyway. Some impressions have been made, but we're not baking on that. Wait, they listen to Life Uncut, your podcast? Yes. Oh, no. R.I.P. me. I know. I know.

So they'd have a warped sense of who you are. Absolutely. Got it. The phone's ringing FaceTime. I'm about to get in the shower. I am completely naked, completely. But if you're in the shower, how are you going to talk to him? Because I'm not in the shower yet.

I'm getting naked and I'm about to get in. The phone's FaceTiming. The phone is on the sink. I swipe right to answer the FaceTime as I lean out of frame to turn the shower nozzle on. By the time I have leant back into frame, it has answered. It's connected. I've gone smack bang, hey, babe, look down the barrel.

He's in the car driving with his mum and his sister all on FaceTime. How much did they see? I am nude. I have, you should have, if I was, stop, drop and roll personified, I dropped to the ground and I rolled out. I was like squealing. Oh, no. You don't want to be naked squealing on the ground.

That's an even worse image. Well, that's what I did. I squealed, dropped, rolled out of frame. Like a little naked piggy. Like there was a fire. And then my eye, because I still wanted to impress them, so my eyes went around the corner of the frame of the door and I was like, hi, guys.

And it was just like, just my eyes. That was my impression. Do they see? And how much do they see? Don't give us a demonstration, but tell us how much were they sore? The only coverage I had was some natural body hair. Oh. Great.

Just to give you the visual. That shocks me. I didn't expect that either. But from the waist up or you far away, this is too much. Was the basin covering the crotch? I was like half a metre away, guys. I don't know how many. He was probably on an iPad.

I was probably on a blown up one. Oh, my God. I probably wasn't even on a phone. I'm thinking face and potentially torso, like, you know, a little bit of boobs. Well, lucky I didn't have one leg cocked up shaving the leg or something oh my god imagine anyway i nearly died he everyone started laughing they said bless their souls that they didn't see yeah but that's the law they always say that they saw

i saw nothing and babe bit of notice if you're gonna call me if you're gonna call me the whole family surely you're gonna give a heads up right especially when you know no you don't answer a facetime news it's not my boss it's not tony from radio but he could be anywhere he could be walking down the street. It could be in Westfield. Like it could be literally anywhere. And the man knows I love to be nude, so he should know better. Yeah, let's blame him.

Ben, you're stuffed up. This is on you, Ben. Anyway, that's my, I don't know, I'm probably never invited to the family Christmas party. No, they're going to love you. They will. Your dad, father-to-be, he may really like you. There's always one that goes too far, that was it.

No, he's going to be mad. He's going to go, I'm going to start driving with you, Ben. Why don't we start driving more together? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ben, you know what? We need some father and son car trips. Maybe you should FaceTime Brit. Yeah, what type does Brit call you?

Let's do a night drive, Benny. That's so good. Listen, guys, I compiled myself a list off the back of this Sydney man who was fined $283 for parking illegally, so the government have said, in his own driveway. What? I'm looking at this photo that you've got here. Yeah, I've got the photo up.

Have a look. And I think he should be fined. No, he's in his driveway, Laura. He is in his driveway. He's in his driveway, but he's parked over the footpath. That's the problem. But it's still his driveway. It's one of those.

He lives in an apartment block on a street and he's got a little driveway and it's kind of the driveway sort of connects to the footpath and the back wheels are almost on the footpath. That's it. Okay. I think that this, because, like, you can't, if you've got your own garage, so many people do it. They do it, they're like, on my street, I've been guilty of it in the past.

But, like, you park your car behind your garage and then it kind of blocks the footpath. Yeah, we've all been there. You can walk onto the grass area, but it does block the actual paved footpath area. Yeah, go and fight the good fight somewhere else. Go find someone that's actually breaking the law, not someone that's just parked in their driveway.

But what if you're in a wheelchair? Well, that's the thing. This shocked me, right? This guy's charged $283 and he couldn't get out of it. What have you been fined for that you didn't think you could possibly be fined for? I've done some Googling. You know, in New South Wales, you can be fined $126 for having bald tyres. Yes, because it's very dangerous.

You can cause an accident. I didn't even know tyres had hair. I have a hammock. You know, they've got the tread. It's called tread. How do I know much more about this than you? I'm not surprised that you do, to be honest. Do you know what I got fined for recently?

What? I didn't know this was a thing. I got fined for not changing my address when I moved quickly enough. That's so annoying. You just lie. You just say you're still living there. You're living between places. Oh, no.

I was pulled over by police. It was too late. But they were like, oh, your address is, that was just like one of those random breath tests. But then when they checked the address and I was like, oh, no, I've actually moved. and then I got a fine. That is very annoying. I didn't even do anything wrong. Liz finds $400 for wearing a seatbelt incorrectly in Brisbane,

$100 to $260 for having your feet on the train seats. Laura, you would get fined. I am that arsehole that puts their feet on train seats. I'm so sorry. I know I can't put my feet on the ground. Guys, the calls are coming through. People have been fined for some nutser stuff. Craig, what were you fined for, mate?

Hi. So I was going past one of those emergency vehicles. I think it was an ambulance or a cop. I'm not sure what it was. I can't remember. All I remember is a couple of weeks later in the mail, I got this fine for going past. It turned out here in South Australia what happens is you have to go down

to 25 kilometres an hour when you're going past any vehicle with lights flashing. I don't know. It was a heavy fine. Oh, no. So you can't overtake one? No. When the lights are flashing, you just have to slow down

when you're around them. They brought that in in other states, but they quickly reformed it. Oh, yeah, the world has to come to a standstill when that's happening for sure. Yeah, but I understand why. Someone's in an emergency. Yeah, someone could be dying. Why are you overtaking an ambulance?

No, it's not overtaking. It's simply being around or behind. If there is one near you, you drop. So it's to stop people from scooting. Because you know what people do when there's an ambulance? You scoot in behind and then drive quickly. You have to drop back, yeah. No, you can't.

You've just got to slow down and let them do their thing, which is fair. Yes, I think Craig's in the wrong there. Yeah, all right. He's like, oh, I hitched my car to the back of an ambulance so I could go faster. I held on to it with my skateboard. You deserve that one, Craig. Zoe, what's your wacky fine?

I copped $575 and three demerit points for eating Maccas on my way home. What? What? Was it the McDonald's or was it the eating in the car? Well, you can't eat and drive. It was eating in the car, but I didn't know there was a cop there. He, like, zooted over in his little motorcycle and he knocked on my window and I was like, oh, I had a cheeseburger in one hand and McNugget in the other

and it was a whole thing. Were you driving with your knees? What were you doing? Well, I was at the subway at this time, so then he pulled over and he saw me and I was like, oh, okay. I threw it on the floor and I acted like I didn't have it. It's not that you were eating, it's that you were driving hands-free. Oh, my God.

A nuggy and a cheeseburger. I would have tried to bribe him with a McFlurry. I would have been like, Lisa, you don't tell anyone about this. You can take my little McFlurries. Take a little chicken nuggy. Oh, I didn't know that was a thing. That's wild. There you go.

See, crazy finds. It's country. We'll be right back.