Life Uncut - The Best of the Pickup - Everyone makes mistakes

Episode Date: December 17, 2023

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And I'm Midge. And this is our very last pick-up show of the entire year.

We had our last week of radio and we're just done and dusted. We are not going to know ourselves. We see each other five days a week and now we're not back until close to the end of Jan. No, no, no. You're not back because we come back. So, like, when we're back for our very first show of the pick-up, which is, like, you know, mid-Jan, Britt's still going to be in Scotland and she's going to be coming to us live from this Scottish Alps.

I don't know where you are. Just for a couple of weeks, though. It's literally, I think, maybe two weeks and then I'm back in the physical flesh. Guys, I love doing the show with you this year. It kind of feels like we, I don't know how to say it. I feel like now we've got one year down pat. Like it feels like it's real. You think it took us a whole year to get it down pat?

No, but it kind of feels like a big achievement getting through our first year of a national radio show. Without getting fired. I know we had our Saturday show, but like the pickup was a really big deal for us. It's something that felt like such a career milestone for all of us. and the fact that we get to work with our closest friends every week is just something that's amazing. Yeah, and I feel like our friendships have just been strengthened so much this year.

We did the tour, we did this show with each other every single day. Like it's been good for the three of us. I'm really bad at it especially, but you've just reminded me of it, Mitch. I'm really bad at sitting in a moment and appreciating the immensity of something and an accomplishment that you've always wanted. Like I have a really bad habit of doing something really big and then being like, okay, what do I do next? What do I do now?

what's my what's my plan what's my goal but like the next thing doing a national live show tour for the podcast with my closest friends with comedians with guests with singers like Sam Fisher that is like the biggest career milestone I'll ever have and we never really just sat in it yeah but also I think that this is I mean it's something we all do so many of us can be guilty of it we all subscribe to hustle culture you always feel like if you're not winning you're losing if you're not constantly pushing that ball further up the hill then what are you doing and I know that this is not something that is like isolated to the media industry or to what we do like everyone feels like that in a lot of ways in their careers I mean I think it's retrospective right like everyone kind

of goes oh I wish I could really appreciate things as they happen and we say it and then it's you know you don't learn from those lessons and you kind of steam forward into the new year and but it is so important to take those moments every so often and reflect and go fuck like we're so lucky we're so grateful for each other we are so immensely grateful for every single one of you who listen who show up to the podcast who have gotten something out of the pickup this year whether it's been a laugh whether it's been entertained because like we obviously as you all know do life uncut as like brit and i and keish but then we get to do this separate little fun piece of content with you mitch and it's fucking awesome it is fun also like a thank you

to you guys for letting me in on the audience like my we didn't really have a choice no and i we haven't signed that contract yet i just kind of turn up no but the like your listeners and you listening now have been so nice like i've had a pretty shocking year great year at the end but like i've had such nice words of of like just love from your audience it's been so fun to be exposed to this new group and it's been awesome and they're so welcoming and lovely and yeah i mean we love you mitch they love you and we love you guys but i i don't know about you i'm really looking forward to my break although mitch has decided to come on my holiday with me so mitch She's flying over to Scotland on Christmas Day.

He's spending the whole break, New Year's, with Ben and myself, with my sister, with my mum and dad. It's like you're the seventh family member. There was actually no invite as well. Like it just kind of happened. I just thought, oh, I've got time off. I want to travel Europe. I've never been to Europe in winter before.

I'm actually nervous. It hit me when I was booking flights and booking accommodation. I was booking your flight. Britt was booking my flights. Did Britt book your flights? No, no. Yes. Ben and I had to book your flight.

Because you were like, so what do you think is the best? I was like, first of all, put it on incognito mode. Yes, they did help. Then look up this flyer. No, they were on FaceTime and I was sharing my screen and they helped guide me through it. I've not travelled alone before. Mitch, you were like a little baby bird.

You really are. No, I've travelled. I've lived overseas. But can I be honest? In a relationship, I'm the partner that sits back and lets the other organise and I'm just happy to turn up and, you know. You're the mental load person. You're the one who's like, I'll put that on you.

You can sort those things out. No, and I also make a trip entertaining. Like, I'm fun. But this is why being single makes you grow so much because you don't get to do those things anymore. All of a sudden you realise, oh, cool, if I want something done, it's me because no one else, unless I put it on them like Ben and myself on your flights, no one else is going to do it.

It's also a time in life where you become acutely aware of, especially if you are that person in a relationship, you are kind of forced to become aware of how much that actually, like how taxing that can be and how much that is a job because there usually is. There's one person in a relationship who's the doer, who's the booker, who's the organiser. And then there's one person who kind of like knows

that that other person's going to take responsibility for those things. And, I mean, in my dynamic with Matt, Matt's often, he's the booker, he's the organiser, he's the one who's like taking the cars to get them registered and doing all that sort of stuff. And things kind of happen around me. And then when you're left to have to do it all yourself,

you're like, fuck, I need to appreciate more sometimes how much that actually takes. The level of effort that goes in, yeah. Also, if there's any lifers out there that have solo travelled and they did it alone and they were nervous, Please message me because actually I'm going to have two weeks on my own through Europe or if you've done Europe and you've got tips.

I genuinely would read my messages and I'd love to know because I'm a bit like, what do I do? Is it going to be okay? I'm going to help you book it. You'll be absolutely fine. And worst case scenario, you just go back to your home base. You go back to Ben's house. You've got your safe place.

But you will be, I know it's only two weeks, but you'll be a different person. Yeah, I'm very excited. And also to have New Year's in Edinburgh with you, Brit, and Ben, your mum and your dad and Ben's and sisters and the cousins and the uncles and everyone else. It's the whole family in midship. No, we're going to love it.

Everyone's excited to have you. But we've got a huge show today. We do. I had two quite embarrassing moments this week. One, mistaken identity to do with a car. And one where I had very direct eye contact with someone nude that I shouldn't have seen nude. Yes.

Is that a hook? Good hook. I was like, what happened here? Do you know what? They're both kind of similar. They're both people being distracted and doing things without paying attention to what they're doing. And one was embarrassing for someone else

and the other one was very embarrassing for you. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I had an experience at a restaurant that got me a free meal but it also pissed off the entire restaurant. I don't think I can go back. And it actually, you know, divided the three of us. We all had very different opinions on whether what I did was right or wrong. And I want to know, is it okay to ban your partner from doing certain things

or using certain products if you don't like it, if it drives you crazy? For example, what if your partner uses, like, I don't know, Rexona Lynx and you hate it? Is Rexona Lynx even a brand? No, you just named two brands. That's like Volkswagen, Kia. That's Lynx, Africa. Okay, what if your partner uses Lynx Africa and you can't stand it?

To be fair, it actually smells quite good. What if they use Dove Rexona Lynx? Yeah. But what do you do? Can you tell them that they can't use it anymore? Do you hide it from them? Do you fight them on national radio? This is the big questions and only you guys will have the answers.

Whatever you did was wrong, Laura. Okay, apparently I'm absolutely fucking crazy, but I feel like you guys already know that. Now, like we said, this is our very last Pick Up episode of the year. We still have Life Uncut episodes coming your way. But, yeah, we just wanted to say, Mitch, we love you. Yay! In the words of Laura Byrne.

Rock and roll, people. Girls, I had such a, I think, successful dinner over the weekend. I was out with some friends. What's a successful dinner? You ate? I ate, and I ate for free. I went to this beautiful new restaurant in the local area. I took the guy that I was dating, and there were some friends there.

I thought, this is going to be a great night out at a brand new restaurant. And you know when you go to a new local, you get excited. The menu's overwhelming. They hand it to you. And they had, in the centre of the menu, banquet available, 85 per head. We all looked at each other. We went, screw it. Just get the banquet.

We don't want to order. It takes the choice out of it. Totally. Make it easy. Yes, yes. Big share plates. Yeah. You don't look at all the individual items.

You kind of go, a bit of beef is a salad and some garlic bread. Some veggies, whatever. Put it in. So we order the banquet. We sit there. We're drinking. The banquet arrives. One by one, the food comes.

We eat it. We eat it. And the banquet has stopped, clearly ended. And we all kind of look at each other and go, oh, there wasn't really enough food. We're still a little bit peckish. We could have had some more. You can't be peckish after a banquet.

You can if it's like one scallop. Yeah, but they've not done a good enough job if you're still peckish after a banquet. Well, that's the thing. That's what we're thinking. God, I could have sworn there was a bit more food. Oh, well, we'll be fine. We'll get some dessert and we'll be all right.

Anyway, that's when the waitress walks over and she's got a beautiful, large, juicy chunk of barramundi on the plate. This restaurant has just opened. It's opening weekend. So the staff are still finding their feet, brand new menu. So she walks up and she goes, did you guys get the barramundi? And I see this as a complete opportunity to say, absolutely, yeah, we got the barramundi.

We ordered it in the banquet. and she went, oh, I don't think there's barramundi in the banquet. And I knew there wasn't any barramundi in the banquet, but I wanted that barramundi. So I said, oh, yeah, yeah, no, I definitely was. The reason we ordered the banquet was because I love me some barramundi, so that's for us. Oh, Mitch.

So she looked at me and went, oh. Oh, you doubled down on the lie. Oh, I doubled down. Mitch is like, I am a barramundi. I'm a fish. I was so evil, the table next to me, you know when you've ordered your food and it's taking a little while too long, so you're watching every plate that the waitress brings out.

No. This was the table next to me's barramundi that they'd been waiting on. And they saw her come to me, see me take it. The waitress reluctantly puts it on the table. And like piranhas, we all ravish this barramundi. She then walks back, the waitress, about two minutes later and goes, I just wanted to say the barramundi wasn't included in the banquet, but we're new.

It's on the house. Enjoy the barramundi. And walked off. Meech, you stole. No, I didn't steal. Yeah, you intentionally set up to take somebody else's fish. I didn't have a balaclava on and a baseball bat. Yeah, I mean, Brittany, you had a fishing rod.

No, I didn't. You didn't. You just gave a bit of information and said, you know, I think it's in the banquet. No, he said it's definitely in the banquet, 100%. I'm more on your side here, Mitch, because I think as a waitress, it's your job to know what is or isn't in the banquet. Thank you.

And if you're not sure, don't put it down on the table. Once it's down, it's free game. Yeah, 100%. If you've put that down on the table, you can't take a bath. Everyone says that in hospitality. Play it on table, free game for everyone. You both are shady little suckers, aren't you? No, Britt.

I'm never going to trust either of you again. You should. You'll get more food when we go out for dinner. You'll get a free meal. Or you'll take my food. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't bat an eyelid. No, Mitch, I don't have a problem with this.

I think that if you're at a restaurant, if they're going to put food on your table, then it's yours to eat. I agree. Yeah, let's capitalise on this poor new little waitress on her first day on the job of a brand new restaurant. She's just trying to save some money to get by. Yeah, you show her. You take her money and make her get fired.

She was a backpacker from France. I didn't take her money. I just took her fish. Yeah, but now she gave away free food. What if the restaurant fires her? You are so dramatic. As if Brittany Hockley, the Queen of Carbonara, sitting down at your local Italian, if they had a plate of Carbonara

and said, did you order this? You wouldn't say yes. No, what I always say, because this happens a lot, right? People always get brought the wrong food. I always say I didn't order that. But I do love it. If it's going back to the kitchen, I'll take it. I always say that.

Oh, you're such a mum. I mean, do you know what? I'm the most mum, non-mum that there is. I mean, I'm the mum and I'll still take the free food. No, I think that this is a learning curve for everyone. I think that she's not going to make the same mistake twice and you don't get fired for one mistake. So if she does it again, then once again, it's on her.

I just love that we've flipped it from me being in the wrong to this waitress. I have a true phobia to chewing gum. Like, I can't be in the same room as someone chewing chewing gum. It makes me feel like my anxiety goes through the roof. I feel hot and sweaty. Like I can't stand the smell of it. I can't stand the sound of it.

Makes me feel physically sick. Now this goes beyond chewing gum. It's actually anything that smells like the smell of chewing gum. Like it's a specific chewing gum. It's the mintiness. It's the overpowering stench of minty breath. Now Matt uses a toothpaste and it's his favourite toothpaste and he's been using it for a really long time.

Your husband Matty J. My husband Matty J. So anytime he brings chewing gum home into the house, I will throw it in the bin or I will hide it. And he just thinks he's gone through with a packet of chewing gum. He thinks that it just magically disappeared. But recently he started using this toothpaste that smells identical to chewing gum and it is so revolting to me that anytime he brings it

into the bathroom, I then have to go and hide it. I hide it either in the cupboard or I hide it like under the basin. I just can't stand the thought of him coming to bed and the mintiness of it being in his moustache and in his mouth. Wait, he brushes his moustache with it? Oh, it just, he's got a moustache now. It lingers. Why don't you just buy a different toothpaste?

No, I do. I have one. There is a specific kind of toothpaste that's okay for him to use. He likes the other one. He's allowed to buy his favourite toothpaste. I know, but what happens if you're dating someone who uses something that you hate? Is it okay to hide it or to throw it in the bin

or to ban them from using it? Or am I insane? I think it's, you break up with them. I'm not breaking up with my husband over toothpaste. No, no, no, that was advice for Maddie. And Natalie's here on 131065. Do you do that? Well, my boyfriend, I threw out a pair of his shoes.

He had, you know, those, like, black and white checkered slip-on vans. Oh, yeah, from when you were, like, 17. Yes, literally, like, massive Blink-182 fan. I get it, but, like, we've moved on, surely. But he didn't move on. Does he know that you threw them away or did you just say, oh, man, they must have gone missing? Yeah, I was like, oh, you know, we went on a camping trip.

You probably just left them, like, we can't go back for them. I'm sorry, you know, I kind of played it off. It's live. I'm on board with that. And they stink. Those shoes, they get the sweat in them. And he's had them since he was 17. Guys, how can you be okay with throwing away someone's clothing items

but you're not okay with toothpaste? Sorry, clean teeth are important. Stinky shoes are not. Hold on, Emma, Emma, did you do this? Did you throw something out of your partner's? I did. I did, unfortunately. My partner has a pair of old briefs that he wore the night that we met

and he always calls them his lucky briefs and he's never wanted to chuck them, which I thought was so cute. And then a few weeks ago, he had his guys over and they all had a few too much to drink and they started talking about how he used to wear them every single time he went out to try and meet a girl. And it kind of took away the charm for me.

Oh, wow. Well, they're not actually that lucky. It's just that you stuck. Yeah, I was the only one that stuck. I was the lucky one that, like, fell for it. But I decided to chuck them after that, and he still doesn't know. I get that. I think that's off.

You're like, he wore them on the first night we met. The problem is that was 32 years ago. No, I think it's fine. I think if there's something that you absolutely hate, you can throw it in the bin. Okay, last caller. What have you got for us? Hello.

Are you kidding? Well, that sounds a lot like Matty J. I know that guy. Can anyone smell spearmint coming from that booth? I can smell you from here. No, because he's been using my toothpaste. Hello, my darling. Hi, Maddie.

What is wrong with you? Firstly, why didn't you just tell me that you didn't want me to use it? Toothpaste is very expensive. That's like $6 a tube that you just threw away. Can you please not? Because I have told you many times I hate the smell of that toothpaste. And I haven't thrown them. I've just hidden them.

Several packets of them. Well, if you had sex with me, then I wouldn't. After this phone call, I'm going to go straight to the supermarket, buy a new tube of extra minty toothpaste. Don't. I can't stand it. But I will stop using it if you have a shower before getting to bed. Fair, Laura, you stink bug.

I always wash my feet in my face. Yeah, in the sink. Are you a praying mantis? What do you mean you wash your feet in your face? She puts her – she lifts her feet up into the bathroom sink to wash them instead of showering before bed. It's rank. Wow, no defence.

She had nothing to say. Because Matt knows. She knows. You know, I know. Anyway, guys, we can fight about this when I get home. No, no. I actually think Laura talks about the issue she has with Matt on the air. I'm officially team Matt.

I've experienced it for the first time. It's like living in a prison here in this household. I can't chew chewing gum. I can't use toothpaste. I can't even wear Laura's underwear. I can't do anything. If it's minty, I don't want it, but the rest of it I'm okay with. You live your most authentic self.

All right, Matt, it's lunch break at the prison. Go back and get some gym time in for the day. Stop listening and stop calling. Yeah, I don't know why you're listening. From time to time you have a bad day at work, right? What? No. You never have a bad day at work, Brittany.

No, never. You've never made a mistake in your entire life. No, I'm amazing. Okay, well, you are on your own because I reckon every single person listening to this has at least made one doozy of a mistake at work, right? I have made a mistake. I signed up with you two. Yeah, I know.

Oh, Holly, I was waiting for that gag to come out. Really funny, yeah. No, go on. Okay, well, I reckon I have found ground zero, the person who has made possibly the worst mistake. I love these. They make you feel better about your own shit mistakes. Yeah, like if you've ever thought that maybe you were not good at your job,

this will make you feel better about it 100%. Okay, so there is a funeral parlour. Off to a great start already. Well, like, I mean, you don't want, there's not really much room for error at a funeral parlour, is there? Like, if something's going to go wrong, it's going to go really wrong. I think there is room. I mean, like, they're already dead.

Okay, well, just. Good point. That's a good point. They can't be upset about it. They're not going to get upset. Like, you get the wrong meal at a restaurant, that ruins your night. But, you know, you get the wrong toe tag, You get the tag put on the wrong toe and you don't know about it.

No, Mitch. If you get the wrong toe tag, what happens is you get the wrong body in the wrong coffin and so you go and you have a funeral with a closed coffin and then you send Nana on her way to be cremated and then you get back the wrong body that has been cremated. There is a family out there who held a funeral and it was completely the wrong person inside the coffin. They cremated the wrong person and it turned out that they had

to hold a second funeral for their beloved grandparent because the wrong person was cremated. Yeah, but the first person still deserved that beautiful send-off. Well, do you know what was actually quite nice about this? The person who was in the very first coffin, the reason why it's kind of nice is because they had no family and no friends and no one to claim them. And so they had a funeral.

I mean, it may have been a case of mistaken identity, but at least they got a really lovely send-off. Maybe it was intentional. I don't think it was. What if the funeral home knew that? They're like, oh, let's just give him a send off. No, there's been an official inquiry into this. It absolutely was not intentional.

Who's inquiring if they had no one? I think the funeral part. Okay. The family, the family who got the wrong body. This made me question. I was like, okay, this is a monumental stuff up from somebody who works within the funeral home. I have not ever worked in a funeral home,

but I have made one mistake at work that was pretty big. It was last year when I was filling in for Jackie O. So on this station, well, she was away and I was with Kyle and it was like my first, I think I was only two days in and I was so nervous, big shoes to fill. And now you guys all know probably that I have a pretty chaotic laugh and you probably don't know this but I talk with my hands a lot. I throw my body around.

I'm very animated and it was only like second day and I laughed so hard in the break. So the music was playing, right? A song was on, yeah. A song was on. We weren't on air for that two minutes and that's where you just chat to each other and you get ready for the next part. And I was laughing so hard at something that I flung my hand down,

hit a button and sent us live on air. You turned your microphone on. Sent the cackle off. I turned, no, everything, conversations, anything that was happening that probably shouldn't be going to air, and I looked at Kyle in my head. I was like, I'll just see myself out. I was like, I'm fired for sure.

Those poor commuters driving to work, barely awake, listening to Adele, and then Brit's laugh comes over the top. Halfway through their favourite song and there's Brit. Anyway, luckily he laughed and I didn't get fired. I can imagine. Behind your back, though, awful things would have been said. No doubt. My first job was a water polo referee when I was 14

and I'd like referee water polo matches. The thing is I didn't understand any of the rules so I would just blow my whistle and forcefully move my arms in different positions and hope that the children listen to me. And they did. No, I feel like if you're a referee, if you do anything with conviction, you're going to get away with it. Just blow the whistle hard.

Totally. I should blow the whistle into this show and that'll make you guys listen to me. Look, I mean none of these compare to cremating the wrong body but the reason why I no longer work in marketing is because once upon a time, I used to do all the newspaper ads, right, for a company. This is back when I used to work in very corporate pharmaceutical world. And so we did this huge ad campaign, second or third newspaper ad,

like the full page of all the major newspapers across Australia. The campaign cost around $160,000 to run this campaign. It was like the second, third page. And we set the call centre up and everything and we had a 1-800 number and we got there and then the phones weren't ringing. We're like, that's weird. Why isn't the phone not ringing?

Because I put the wrong phone number on the artwork that went to print. Oh, you wasted $100,000. On a national art campaign. So that's why I don't work there anymore, but apparently I've got a job in radio. That's why some old woman had a million phone calls that day. You put this poor old bitty's phone number and she's like, hello? No, it was to the funeral parlour.

They deserved it. It's fine. Now, we all love a freebie in our lives, right? Like everyone gets a bad day turned around if you get something for free, like a free coffee or a free juice. Yeah, 100%. Usually it's when you win something. Laurie used to be like the radio prize pig,

so she used to always call up radio and get free stuff. It was how my love of radio started. I was a prize pig. And you're a kleptomaniac now, so it all ties in. It ties in. No, the reason I bring this up is because I'm a bit conflicted. I love to scroll TikTok at the end of the day every night. I lie in bed and I scroll TikTok,

and there's this account that I always see. It's this beautiful young woman living in Europe, and she goes around, finds different men in social situations. She's got one of her friends secretly filming her. She approaches the man, she bats her eyelids, she's wearing a gorgeous outfit, she's got a face full of make-up, she looks really beautiful. And she starts with a simple conversation,

hey, how are you, how's your day going? Then she hits him with a question, can you buy me something? It can be a lunch snack, it can be a sandwich. It can even be items as big as a Dior or a Marc Jacobs handbag. Have a listen to this video. Hi. I'm Layla. Nice to meet you.

You look so... So, I have to confess, I did come over here with a little question, actually. Yeah, I've been having, like, a really tough day. There's, like, a Marc Jacobs pop-up, like, over there. Wondering if maybe, like, you'll be able to come there with me and, like, get me a bag or something. Yeah, why not? You said you haven't been out there, right? That's so sweet.

Yeah, so she's using, I mean, her pretty privilege to get free stuff and posting it online. OK, my question here, though, is, like, who is it at fault? is it the guy for being silly enough to buy something or is it her for being so manipulative that she's doing it in the first place i mean look don't ask don't get so like she's she doesn't she's shooting her shot the person doesn't have to say yes and i would think if someone is saying yes to buying somebody an expensive designer bag that person has a ridiculous amount of money because the average person isn't going yeah a couple of grand well i don't know how much they

are but like people aren't just throwing that money around totally but brit i think that this relates to other things like girls at bars and stuff who are like oh you know just like buy me a drink and then they're using that they have no interest in the guy whatsoever i think it's different if you're using flirtation and you're kind of trying to trick someone you're feigning as though you're interested in them and manipulating them almost to spend their money on you i think that that's really me yeah it's so inconscionable i mean i don't compare the two i don't compare a designer handbag to a two dollar like rum and coke from the local who the hell's getting a $2 rum and coke. You haven't been out in a while.

Inflation's really hit the rum. I also hate rum. I don't know why that drink came to my head. It's not like happy hour. Yeah, the old rum and coke from the Ari. You're such a country girl. Can I say something that I've noticed? I've recently lost 40 kilos and I do look physically different.

It's a little bit of a glow up. I feel amazing in myself. But I have genuinely noticed a difference in the way people treat me and talk to me in everyday life. Is it because we look you in the eye now yeah you guys actually remember my name i was michael to you for about six months but in what way mitch what do you mean well i mean a i am single yes but the attention from men i never had attention from guys from gay men ever ever ever no one ever showed any interest in me i was

160 kilos i was a big boy i did not have any and i had many friends but like that sexual chemistry that you know when you're being flirted with you know i never had that now that i'm 40 kilos down and you know a jawline has appeared out of nowhere men are more flirty with me even conversations in the street and in the workplace. Mitch, I think genuinely, and I totally appreciate what you're saying. I think genuinely the biggest thing I have noticed, and I think it all relates, is yes, you are smaller physically, 40 kilos, but the difference in who you are and the energy you put out is huge. I feel like you're more open to these conversations now. Like you probably don't even realize, but you put out a brand new fire confidence that makes people want to come and

approach you. Whereas before you probably didn't put that energy out for people to approach you. And you weren't single, so you again weren't putting that energy out. Britt, I completely agree with this. And the other part as well, and something that I don't think you were that conscious of, but when you were bigger, you used to always punch down on yourself. You would always make jokes about your weight. Self-deprecating, yeah.

Yeah, but it was self-deprecating to the point where, like, it was constantly put down. And I think when you do that about yourself, you also then make it okay for other people to do it. When you're constantly making yourself the butt of a joke, people think, oh, okay, you're cool with that. Like, we're cool with making jokes about your weight or your size. And so people would do it without realising how much it hurt your feelings

because you were already doing it. And now I think, I agree with you, Britt, there is this, like, ridiculous confidence that's come, you know, along with the weight loss has been this new Mitch that's kind of come out as well. I agree. I do think there is, though, a bias in the way that society looks and treats big people.

100%. I agree. I agree. But it's just funny who you are now. Like, now you walk in and you're like, I'm so tired. I stayed up all night because so many people are in my DMs. People are fed up with me all the time. They're overflowing.

Also, can I just address the elephant in the room? Were you guys just flirting with me then? I was. I'm so glad you kicked that off. You know what? Rum and cokes on me. Yeah. It is the silly season.

It's upon us. Yes, Christmas is very close. And it is also Christmas party season. Every workplace has their Christmas party this time of year. I love a good Christmas party. It's like the one day that you can really let loose, I think, in the workplace. I agree. I love it.

You get to know that different side to your coworkers. Like Nancy from Payroll is not Nancy from Payroll at that Christmas party. No, she's like Christina Aguilera. Yeah, but it's also a real bonding moment. It's where you go from just being work colleagues to being really close friends. Some people bond too much. Oh, boy, really close.

The reason I bring this up is because an interesting story is going viral. It's from the New York Times in the US. Apparently a third of Americans were tempted to cheat on their partners at their work Christmas party and almost two out of ten people actually went the full hog and cheated at the Christmas party. Wait, who is conducting these studies is what I want to know.

And who's being honest about it. Yeah, and who's actually telling the truth? You take that to the grave. A therapy company, Tribeca Therapy in New York, asked 1,200 Americans about infidelity. 35% were enticed to cheat in general and 20 actually did at the Christmas party. I believe this because if you think about it,

your colleagues are who you spend the most time with outside of your partner and your family. Like if you're going to a job, 9 to 5 or whatever hours, but 10, 8, 10 hours a day, you're developing this bond with people, right? Then all of a sudden you get let on the loose. you're drinking, you're not paying for it because the company is paying for it, as if that's not when it's going to happen.

It makes a lot of sense. My ex used to cheat on me all the time with people from work. Well, I found out in hindsight. I didn't know all the time. But, yeah, work because it's – I mean, that sounds like a very dangerous Christmas party if you're all working together and he's cheating on you with multiple people.

But it does. It really does kind of like that your inhibitions are lowered, you have that moment of closeness. I don't know. I don't like these sorts of like conversations around the statistics of because then it just makes everyone paranoid that the partners are going to cheat on them when they go to a Christmas party. Only two out of ten have to be paranoid.

That's true. I mean, I was cheated on by a partner once at a Christmas party and then I found out it was Easter because it got bubbled up in him for four weeks. So it ruined my Christmas and my Easter. Just be careful at your Christmas party, people, okay? You'll never know what's going to happen. I don't know.

I think we need to stop making people more paranoid than they already are. Well, to be honest, your partner Ben Britt and Maddie J, your husband, must be so thankful you come and work with me every day. No, I'm thankful that Ben's a football player. He's not gay. So his workplace is just like 30 men. So I feel really safe.

He goes to work every day just with men. Yeah, and women hate football players. He would never, ever, ever have a single woman flirt with him ever. So you're so safe. Don't worry. Wait, Laura, do you worry about Matty J cheating on you? Because he's gorgeous and everyone knows him. Yeah, but he doesn't work with anyone, so I'm fine.

He works for himself. He's got that moustache now. Yeah. No, do you know what? I feel particularly safe with Matt, and I think the reason for that is also, one, because he's very trustworthy, but two, he's very public about our relationships. So, like, nobody is confused as to whether the man's taken or not.

He's like, here are my children, here is my wife. And that kind of makes me have a sense of security as well. It's also easier to cheat when you're anonymous. Like, for him, it's too hard. The Daily Mail will get photos and tell me about it. That's so true. We'll be right back.