Life Uncut - The Best of The PickUp Radio show - BUT HE HAS A SINGLE BED

Episode Date: February 25, 2024

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany.

I'm Mitch. And this is The Pickup Show, where we package up all the best bits of the radio show and put them here for you every week. I like that today we really lent in to some hard-hitting news. Yeah, it was really hard-hitting. I'm going back to the group chat to find when you first spoke about it. There was quite a lot of chat about it. Okay, laugh it up.

Cover this Monday for sure? Like, it's a story about a pregnant stingray, for sure? When was that? How many weeks ago? That was Sunday night. That was last week. So it's only, oh, two weeks. Guys, we can't steamroll over this.

We haven't, okay, you said pregnant stingray, which is exactly what we talked about. But Britt, you are deeply passionate about this. Please share a little bit. I'm really passionate about this story. You guys have probably heard about it. It's the mystery of 2024. It's the female stingray that lives in an aquarium

that got pregnant alone, no other stingrays, and it got pregnant. It was a virgin. That's the headline. Pregnant virgin stingray. Yes. North Carolina. We do like talking about sex on this podcast.

But it's mind-blowing, right? Her only other friends in the whole aquarium were some sharks. So people were like, oh, my God, is this like a sting shark cross? Have they intersexed? And this is, I don't know, my producer's looking at me and she's like, that's not a word. Is intersex a word? It actually is, but it might mean something very different.

It is. Wrong context. Sorry about that. Did they interbreed? Crossbreed. Far out. There you go. Did they crossbreed?

So it was pretty amazing. And then scientists discovered they didn't crossbreed, but in fact she got pregnant. Don't give her the spoiler. She got pregnant. Oh, you'll have to listen. You'll have to listen. The thing that gets me is like.

I don't know what's coming. Don't you guys just read a lot of articles and then just go, nice, and not feel the need to talk about it to a public audience? We're radio hosts. We talk. I understand that every so often there's like some news in the world that really, really gets into your soul. And for Britt, it's the pregnant stingray.

Pregnant stingray. And I understand. And that's okay. Mind-boggling. She's got four pups on the way. Okay. Well, what did I talk about in the show? I've already forgotten.

Who knows? Who am I? Where am I? Oh, no, we found out that Laura was a prude. Oh, yeah, I'm a prude. Motherhood turning 38 in a month has turned me into a total prude. No, there was a guy on the plane who was reading like a super dirty book and I can't use the words on radio because we've got to be like fully PC

because obviously it's 3 p.m. It was fucking smutty. It was the smuttiest book I've ever seen and it's because he went to the toilet and he didn't close the book. He left it open on the seat next to me facing me and I looked down and I saw it and I was like, oh, you smutty little boy. He was a man. Yeah, he was a man.

Not a little boy because that's sick. He was an adult. And I'm sure he was aroused and had to relieve himself in the bathroom. Anyway, I feel personally victimised by the book and also by Mitch Turi and Brittany Hockley. You know who would have loved the story about Charlotte the pregnant stingray? The creep that sat next to you on that flight. He would want blow by blow, though, as to how it happened.

I was about to end that. Seriously, I was like, Robert Irwin. He would love that. He's so good. I thought it was a real question. Robert Irwin, he broke up with his girlfriend this week. I know, that's really sad because one minute, you can't believe social media.

One minute it looks like they were on a red carpet posting together and they looked really cute and happy. Do you know what? Robert Irwin as well, he strikes me as the type of person that I would have thought would have gotten into a relationship and then just gotten married. I said that, yes. Like Bindi.

Yeah, you don't look at him and think, oh, that's a guy who's going to go through a few breakups, has some tumultuous relationships and then find the one. You're like, oh, he's cute, he's happy, he'll get married. He doesn't scream player. Got to be good at it. Wouldn't that be the twist you wanted? Well, because you'd go on a date with him and he'd invite you back

to his apartment to see his python and you'd go, you've been getting laid, but it would be an actual carpet python. Imagine Robert Irwin as The Bachelor. That would be lit. He just signed a contract on 10 for his hosting I'm a Celeb. As if they're bringing The Bachelor back again, guys. Also, it would be really devastating to find out that Robert Irwin is a fuckboy because if that happened, it just destroys everyone's hopes

and dreams. He is not. He's not. He can't be. If Robert Irwin went on The Bachelor, I think that would be brilliant casting because he's got such a big international audience people love him he's wholesome he loves animals like anyone that loves animals you can trust it would bring it back wouldn't it yeah but imagine the home visits he'd take them all back to the zoo not to

Australia Zoo with Terry Irwin okay can we get him on to talk about Charlotte he'd actually be able to shed some I would love nothing more than to story arc this and talk to him about Charlotte I'll see what I can do yeah thanks yeah I'm also on the show this week I had sex in a single bed It's all that and more. Mitch is also pregnant with pups coming up on the show. I'm not pregnant. Well, you can't in a single bed, can you? No room.

Ew. We've been talking about these two women that went viral last week for doing the 1,500-kilometre trek, the drive to Taylor Swift, and on the back of their car they put a pay ID, they put two broke chicks, we need money for petrol, and they literally linked like a pay ID so people could pay their petrol to get to Taylor Swift. Direct to their bank account.

Genius or terrible? Undecided. Well, we had some opinions earlier in the week on Monday. No one's making you pay it. Just have a laugh and let them drive by. I think it's not that. I think it's the audacity to ask. And people see that and they're like,

you want me to pay for you to go to Taylor Swift when there's so many other things I could be putting my money towards? It just is, it's so outrageous to even ask. I think they were trying to get attention and just have something for TikTok. off. Now, I have been losing sleep, Mitch and Laura, because I just need to know the million dollar question on did anyone actually pay them money? So I've tracked them down high and low.

I searched Australia and I have Gemma and Emily on the phone right now. Hey, ladies. Girls, welcome to The Picker. Hello. Hello. Hi, guys. Okay, yeah, we got to know. Okay, I'm still, I'm so undecided. Like I said, it's either genius or it's terrible. How much money did you make?

um we've decided we're not going to tell anyone you have to say more than a thousand dollars more than two hundred dollars more than a thousand ballpark i win oh my god so i guessed that it would be over a thousand dollars so did you cover all your fees yes we did we did um and we also paid some forward so that's very good of you guys who did you donate it to taylor she doesn't need the cash So we actually gave it back to some of the people that had shared the picture around on Facebook. So one of the girls who shared it that got a lot of views

and went viral, we actually sent her some money. Well, guys, I actually promo'd you and said I thought it was good and I don't think I've received any money. Brittany wants some money as well. We'll give you her pay ID after. So you said you covered your costs. How much did it cost you all up to travel all the way from where you were to see Taylor?

Oh, man, I don't think we were in the right frame of mind to be able to do budget. We were just like, we have to get to Taylor. How much are we spending on fuel? Fill the tank. We have to get there. Gemma, I want to know, who came up with this idea in the first place? It was definitely a team effort.

We were getting ready to go, we packed the car, loaded the car and it was sort of a last minute, should we do this for the last? Would it be really funny if we could actually beat some Swifties on the way and have some cool combos for the drive? So we were like, oh yeah, quick, let's write something up. Literally before we left at about three in the morning, we'd written it on the back of the car. Look, I thought it was fun, right?

Because I'm like, no one has to pay, you're not forcing it. If they do, brilliant. But Emily, I know there's been a bit of trolling. What do you reckon overall? Was it more positive or more trolls? Look, from all of the responses I've had and that I've seen, it's been fantastic. There's only a few percent of people that have been negative.

But, look, even some of the articles and things, I've had a bit of a laugh at. They got a photo of me in a car from Christmas time with Christmas presents in the back of the car. Having a field day. Oh, my God, I love this. It's like they're making out that you've taken all this money and just done a cash grab, bought all these things for yourself.

Yeah, look, and that can happen on social media and we're not bothered at all. We've sort of, you know, two broke girls wanting to go to a Taylor Swift concert. Gemma only got the tickets in the middle of the night on the Monday morning, so only like less than a week before and she called me and she's like,

are we going to Taylor Swift? So, look, yeah. Yeah, someone sent a dollar and was like, girls, I'm broke too, but it's been a cruel summer. And some of the other, my favourite donations were $13 or $13.13 because obviously we know that Taylor Swift's number is 13. Totally.

Wait, so these were the pay ID comments when people were transferring money? Yeah, absolutely. But they're like, look out for that blank space. Don't leave any blank spaces in the pay ID. I mean, this is how you know it's true, Swifties. And that's what it's all about, right? Swifties supporting Swifties. So funny.

And I think the best part was when we had people driving past us on the road on the way down that was like waving at us and whatnot. And at one point we took an exit and a car followed us off the highway onto this exit and four girls got out of their car and they were like, we had to follow you off because we wanted to say hi and we sent you a dollar. Oh, that's so cute. It's like not even a liter of petrol, girls. Thanks.

Totally. Like step aside friendship bracelets. It's all about pay IDs now. So funny. Gemma, how was the concert? Like was it everything that you wanted it to be and more? Oh, everything and more. I cannot believe it.

If you've got tickets and you're going to the Sydney shows, oh, my goodness, it is fantastic. It was like honestly once in a lifetime experience doing her Errors tour, all of the old music, all of the new music. It was so good. Absolutely incredible. Look, moral of the story is don't ask, don't get, right? This weekend there's going to be 50 cars driving around

that's going to have the same pay ID. Well, their own pay IDs, but everyone's going to be doing the same thing now. GoFundMe is out. You need a new kidney? Put it on the back of your Mitsubishi and you'll get that kidney in no time. Mitch, we were just talking

and you said that you're now six months deep in your new relationship and that you have just come across a red flag that is so red flaggy you don't know whether you've ever come across one so bad before. Well, to be honest, I didn't think it was that bad until I told you guys just as three friends and then you think

it's the worst thing in the world. No, no, no. I don't think it's the worst thing in the world. I just think it's... I ended relationships on it. Yeah, it's pretty bad. I just think it's hard to overcome. I'm just not sure where you fit, literally, into this equation. Oh, hilarious. I don't know how you fit in there. Okay, sure. The guy that I'm seeing who is beautiful and the kindest soul in the world is so sweet. Okay, you love it.

We haven't said the L word, so calm down. What, are you saying blur because it's two men? No. Don't you dare go down that path. Don't you dare. You want to wrangle with me? I'm a catfish, baby all right come listen um so what happened was i he's been staying at my house because i just it's just how it's happened he's been staying at my house when he stays over i live with my parents yes but it's an interim thing it's just while i'm yeah so when you say your house he's he comes to your parents house yeah i got my own like it's like a granny what sort of bed do you

have i got a king koala mattress lots of room for the two of you yeah it's like an ensuite private we can walk to and from the bathroom nude um he goes um he's just he's moving away he's going away for six weeks yeah it's very it's very sad um he said why don't you come and stay at my house for a last hurrah. And I go, oh, that's quite nice. I've not been to your house. Which you also know that the relationship's progressing because he's not invited you back to his house yet.

Correct. So this is like, one would think this is a green flag. Correct. And I've not been to his house. He lives with his parents as well. And he's like, mum and dad have catered. They've got pancakes in the morning because pancakes are my favourite food.

They've catered. Yeah, he's like, don't worry, we've got almond milk because I know how particular you are with your almond milk. Like, he's so thoughtful. It's beautiful. Yeah. This sounds great. He's going to go away on the Sunday.

I'm not going to see him for six weeks. Let's have one final hurrah. So I pack a little overnight bag. I get to his house. He's there. He goes, welcome. And he doesn't tell me a thing. We just walk to his bedroom.

I put my bag down. I open his bedroom door and he's got a single bed. Mitch, you are not a little boy. And I mean this as in like in height. No, I don't mean as in like width. But I mean like you are a tall guy. Like how tall are you? I'm six foot three.

You're six foot three? About 115 kilos, yeah. And how big is your friend? He is smaller than me. Yeah, he is smaller than me. It doesn't matter how big you are. A single bed is for a child. Adults do not have single beds.

My two little daughters, four and a half and two, they share a single bed. They sleep top and tail and they only just both fit into a single bed. So I laughed. I thought, hilarious. Like, is there a trundle? Does it pull out? Is there a trundle?

And he said, what's the problem? And I go, no. No. I go, this is a single bed. He goes, it's a king single. All that adds is extra length, right? No, I think king single gives you a little bit more width. A tiny bit.

A couple of inches. A bit of overflow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we did. We stayed the night and I slept in the king single bed and I lost him halfway through the night. I woke up and I'm like, where is he? And he'd fallen in between the crack between the wall and the bed.

Mitch, do you know I actually broke up with someone? This makes me sound terrible. You did. You were so full of it. Same thing. Six months deep into the relationship because it was long distance and I finally came down. I came into his house and there was a single bed

and he had like a farting problem. He farted so much. Okay, well that's by the breakup. So when we got into the single bed and he dutched ovened in there, there was nowhere to go. And I was like, I'm done. I'm done. I'm done, you stinky single boy.

And not to story top this, but I've been in a similar situation. I moved in with a boyfriend. We were doing long distance. I moved away to be with him and I got there and I'd not been to his new house that he'd moved into several months beforehand. And he just had a mattress on the floor with no sheets. Was it a double though? Yeah, it was a double.

But it was just discarded on the ground. That's okay. No, it wasn't. It all spiralled out of control. See, these are the issues. It's when you find a red flag deep into something, when everything's going good and you go, this is a great relationship and then it hits you six months in.

No, then you realise. You're like, this is terrible. It's like late in life red flags. Well, bitch, you were just telling us a story about, you know, when you get too deep in a relationship and you realise that there's a bit of a red flag, a bit of a nick because you've just had a discovery with your partner. Yeah, the guy that I'm with and have been for six months,

I stayed at his house for the first time and he has a single bed. Which you can't fit in. And we're adults. So it got me thinking, my partner, Ben, I've been with for, I can't do the math right now, 12, 14, 15 months, right? We're long distance but we've just spent a couple of months together and I have discovered two things in the past couple of weeks that have red-flagged me a little bit.

Not red-flagged as much as icked. Well, because you haven't spent, like you haven't lived with him really for an extended period of time ever. Well, this has nothing to do with living together. This is something he did in his childhood. So Ben is 6'5", he's 100 kilos, he's a big boy, he plays professional football, so he's this big, sexy, macho man. He's a big, sporty guy.

Big, sporty guy, which, you know, sexy. He told me that in his... Thank you for establishing that twice. He just recently told me that all through his schooling, he said I was actually quite creative and musical and I was like, hot, you're a drummer or you're a guitarist. Yes, lead guitarist. Yes, take me.

Saxophone's even quite sexy. Yeah, because he's got the tats. anyway he was like the lead what's it called xylophone he played the xylophone that's fine can i show you what a xylophone is i know what a four-year-old has a xylophone but i don't think we need to poo-poo kids who were like like he's cute and creative and then he got into sport i don't think it was just a little kid i think he played and then i asked him for the details yes i laughed at him and he got really serious and he said britney don't be ridiculous it was a double deco xylophone like it was a really serious he got really serious and i was like i had two layers

yes i love you for this but i can't have that image in my head when we go to bed no i i disagree i think it's cute to date someone who's like into slightly dorky things because people who have this like big masculine front and then when you actually get to know them you're like oh you're a bit of a dork and that's adorable maddie j is he any lady in life red flags laura your husband man oh no look but matt's matt's great the only thing that he um he's become obsessed with which i think is the red flag, is he has bought what's called, and I don't know if anyone's heard of this, it's called the Bugger Salt.

Oh, yeah. Okay, a Bugger Salt. I've seen this on his Instagram. It's a big gun that you put salt into and he spends a good hour and a half of every day chasing house flies around the house, shooting them with this gun. And let me tell you, it's like a wild amount of investment that he's putting into this.

The Bugger Salt. There's nothing hot about a Bugger Salt. Could you season food with it? Because that sounds really fun. It would probably blow your sausage off its blade. Whoa. Courtney, I know what you mean Courtney's called on 131065

Did you find out a red flag really late in the relationship? So Basically I was dating this guy for We were like three months in Or something And I went to go pick him up From his house

And it was a total mess There was food everywhere There was like Uber Eats bags Clothes all over the floor Cups, mugs there were actually flies and I was just like what, it was night and day

between what I had seen the last couple of times I had gone to pick him up. Oh, so he's messy. He is messy. But there's a difference with messy and dirty. He sounds dirty. He sounds like he needs the bug assault at his house. He does. Matt should go over. And start shooting all the flies. Three months is definitely

not in too deep. Break up with him. There's a level though, right? There's a level of messiness that you can handle, but if you're bringing someone back for the first time and that's the level of messiness, it's like he probably tried to clean. That's his best behaviour. Ash, hi. What did you find out late in the relationship? So I'm actually married.

He's not my husband and I'm like locked in. Science will deliver. Until we got married. But one thing he does that drives me crazy and it's really gross is he doesn't wash his socks till I'd say like a good three to four uses because he thinks it's like you have to

wash them when they're really dirty. That's disgusting. No, because they're so They get so sweaty and moist. Per one use. No, no, no. That's gross. No, no. Here's my rule.

I can get one run out of a pair of socks or I can get three work days out of a pair of socks. You know what, Mitch? That's a lie. That's revolting. Because you recently came and stayed with my boyfriend and I in Scotland. And he told me last night the couch still stinks of your stench from your feet. You put your stinky feet in the couch. You're disgusting.

And it makes us sick from your stench on his couch. Also, if you're going to just like out at the moment that your kind of, your red flag is that you never wash your socks, that's worse than sleeping in a single bed. You think? Yeah. It's just painful circle. Oh my God, we're made for each other.

We're both riddled with red flags. And you're both going to stink in a single bed. Oh, it's gorgeous. Hey, I don't know if you guys have heard. Taylor Swift's in Australia. What? I have no idea. You're kidding me.

Let's get her private jet up and track it. Maybe. That's terrible. So excited. I say that, but I'm super pumped because we're all going to see her this weekend. We're always trying to talk and, like, figure out who's the biggest Swifty in this room. Britt, you think it's you. I don't.

Out of this room, possibly, yeah. But I am openly a Swifty. Love it. Yeah, we all are. But you are too, Laura. I love it. But I'm, like, old school Swifty. Yeah, you're like Texas, sort of braids, flowers in the hair Swifty.

She's like 13-year-old Swifty. Yeah, Julie. Well, let me tell you the game. So, Laura, you are going to play this game. You are going to call somebody you know. But I basically think it should be your mother-in-law, Ellie, because she's been on the show a couple of times. We love her and she's moving in with you in a week.

She is moving in with us very soon. Okay, wait, before you say I just have to call my mother-in-law, can you please tell me what I'm doing to her? Okay, so the challenge if you choose to accept it but you also don't have a choice and you have to accept it is you need to call her and not say anything and you have one minute to say as many Swifty-related words, so song lyrics or something that associates,

and in conversation, like it needs to be natural, until she either picks it up or the minute is up. Now, I know you're stressed out, but I have made you a cheat sheet of all these different lyrics that you could put into a sentence and I've tagged them with points. My God, you have. Okay, it's very comprehensive. I don't know if we're there yet where I prank my mother-in-law,

but we're still going to find out. She's also very highfalutin. She's got that kind of British accent. She's not a Swifty fan. I don't think she's going to get it, but she will think I'm insane. There are a point system. So we've got one point, two, three, and five. One points are like lover, speak now, blank space.

Songs. And five points, which are pretty hard to put into a sentence, are things like come is my boyfriend, Christmas tree farm, teardrops on my guitar. So they're harder. Okay, we're ready to play. The old what can't come to the phone right now? What's that one?

A Swifty, she says. A Swifty will know. A Swifty will know. I don't know it. Why is it an old blank space there? Do I say the blank bit or what do I say? Because it says the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now. Why?

Because she's dead. She's dead. Oh, don't say that to Ellie. She'll freak out. She won't get it. She'll think you've died. I'll say that old Laura can't come to the phone right now. All right, so I've got the timer.

As soon as Ellie says hello, actually, she'll say, hello, Jibba, hello. I feel so bad for her. She's not going to like this, guys. I'm going to start the timer. I've got Ellie's number. We're going to call her. I'm going to turn our mics off, Britt and me.

Good luck. Call Ellie, your mother-in-law. I hate this. Ellie speaking. Hi, Ellie, it's Laura. Oh, hi, Laura. Hi, Nana. Sorry, I just wanted to talk to you about...

Wait, can you hear me? Yeah. Speak now. The only thing is I'm under the pump. I've got removalists coming to take the boxes. I'm not ready. Oh, I knew you were trouble. Oh, sorry.

I'm so sorry to call at an inconvenient time. Do you have five minutes? Yeah. I just wanted to quickly talk about the weekend when you're coming down. Yeah, I'm coming down Monday. Well, you know, like the room is a blank space now. It's all ready for you. You can come in, you can just shake it off and make it your own

and we're really excited to have you. Oh, thank you. Are you ready for it? Oh, my God. I am so ready to close the door on this place. Oh, I'm so excited. Do you know what I was thinking about? I was thinking Christmas time,

we should go to the Christmas tree farm and get one for the house. Yes, that would be lovely. It would be so nice. I just completely underestimated the work in just getting the place ready. I mean, do you think, are we out of the woods yet with getting it ready? Yeah.

Ellie, Ellie, we have to, Ellie, you're on the pick-up. Britton, Mitch, you're here. Ellie, you did so well. I love you so much. Ellie, I was talking to you in Taylor Swift lyrics, but you didn't pick up at any point. Oh, Ellie. Oh, Laura, no, no, no.

I love you so much. No, it is good. 16 points, Laura. I got 16 points. I'm winning, Ellie. You and me, we make a great team. No, I should have realised that it wasn't your normal number and I thought I bet it's wine and I'm going to give them a piece of my mind.

You should have realised when she asked about Christmas plans in the middle of February. That should have been the day giveaway. At the Christmas tree farm? We don't have farms here. You were amazing. Ellie, you were great. Go and move.

Okay, I'm so sorry. I'm so excited to have you next week. And if you need any help, we're here. With the move, we'll help you out, Ellie. That's Laura's mother-in-law. God, she's a sweetheart. We love her so much. Well, how many points?

16. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Do you reckon you can beat it, Britt? I reckon I can. I reckon, no, actually, I don't know if I can, but I've got a friend that I think I could try it on. But she's a Swifty fan, so I reckon she might be onto it.

Swifty Pandemonium has hit Australia, So, Britt, Laura, we are challenging each other with the Taylor Swift challenge. Laura, you just called your mother-in-law and you had to get as many Taylor Swift references in the call without her realizing in a minute you're winning at 16 points currently. Britt, you're going to do your best friend who you're taking to Taylor Swift. So, we have her number. I'm going to call her now out of the blue. You've got a minute.

Get as many Taylor Swift references in as you can. Let's dial her up. Hello? Hey lover, how are you? Good, how are you? I'm good. Oh my God, I know you don't have long, but I had the wildest dream last night. No, I have as long as you want.

What was your dream? Wildest dreams, yeah. So appropriate. Oh my God, I didn't even think of that. So appropriate. No, it was so weird. It was like, you know how I gave you cloud? I don't know.

I just feel like you and I have. Yeah, I gave you cloud in the jar and I just, I had this idea that we've had this love story for so long. And I was like, are you ready for it? because I'm going to give you another jar of cloud at Tales Swift. That was my idea. And that was what happened in the dream. And then I was like, is she going to hate that?

Or is she going to hang it off? And did I love it? No. Yeah, you loved it. But I was thinking, God, hang on. I was thinking, I don't know how we're going to get back from the concert. Like, I just feel like we're never, ever getting back together. I don't think.

Hang on, is this the dream or is this real? No, that's real. Like, I was trying to think of the transport. So I was just thinking, God, we're never going to get back together. I don't know. Are you wearing red? Am I wearing red? Yeah.

Hang on, hang on. Look what you made me do. Oh, reputation. Oh, okay. Okay. It's time. Sorry, you're on the radio. What was the last one?

It didn't work. What about you made me do? Shannon, you're on radio. I had to have a challenge to say how many Taylor Swift lyrics I could get in in one minute. I think you cheated with that last one, Britt. Did you pick it up? You even made the joke. You're like, oh, my God, that's so, like, ironic.

You started off good with Hey Lover, but then immediately crumbled. What's a fart in a jar? See, Shannon knows because that's a personal story. But no one else knows. It doesn't matter. It helped me get the lyrics in, which was my challenge. Great for you two, but everyone listening going, what the hell is in that jar? People across the nation turn off.

Let me tell you, Shannon and I have been best friends for 30 years, and when we were five years old, I thought that I've got the best present ever because we used to make each other presents. I went to the top of a mountain with an empty Vegemite jar and I scooped up cloud and I gave her pure cloud. It was an empty jar of air. Oh, that's quite sweet. Once again, no one cares.

No one listening is invested. You're also losing still, Brett. Shannon, super pumped to actually go to Taylor's. We love you, Shannon. Thanks. Super pumped. Thanks, Mitch. Big fan.

Love you. Can we, I want to win it. What points is Britt at? She's at 12 points. And I'm on 16. Me, so far, my mother-in-law didn't know what hit her. Well, can we call my mum, Michelle? Because I'm taking her.

She spent all night making friendship bracelets. I think she'll be good. Oh, you reckon you can get it past her? Or do you think she'll figure it out? Let's call, can we, we have time to call Michelle? Yes. Call her. You're all playing, let's keep it fair.

And then we'll know who's going to win this. Yeah, this challenge that means nothing. The Taylor Swift lyric challenge. All right, let's call Michelle Chury, see how it goes. Good afternoon, Michelle speaking. Can I help you? Hello, Mum, it's me, the one. Hello.

How are you? Why are you calling me on this number? I suddenly feel very nervous. All's too well. All's too well. You're at work. I am. Yeah.

What's your style today? My style? Yeah. Like, work clothes? Oh, nice. Yeah. You know, remember how I was telling you about Steve and how he's away at the moment?

and I'm feeling sad. I'm all, like, single. I'm like, where's Stephen? Karma is my boyfriend. Karma is your boyfriend? Yeah, Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Mum. Coming straight home to me. Karma is...

Are you ready for Taylor on the weekend? Do we have a getaway car planned? No, no, no getaway. We're going to be catching the train and getting the TayTay Express. Okay, are we out of the woods, you reckon, though, with all that? Should we plan deeper?

Are you bejeweled? Because you've done the bracelets. Are they bejeweled? No, but I'm very enchanted. Question. Yes. She knows. She knows.

Mum, you're on the pick up with the girls. You can't get any more pasta. 45 seconds, Michelle, and you picked. I could hear some giggles earlier. You picked on her. I know. I know I did. I picked up.

I thought, yep, he's definitely trying to outsmart me here. And I'm over it. I'm all over you. Thank you, Mum. We love you. See you on the weekend at the concert. That's okay. All righty.

See you. Bye, Michelle. Bye, Michelle. So what did you end up then? Britt, you were sitting there on 12. 13 you got and then you got canned. Wow. Mitch on 13.

Mother-in-law Ellie is the winner with Laura Byrne. Hey! I mean, I'd love to know what I win. Do I get some of these rows of Taylor Swift tickets? You're already going. Yeah, I know, but I want more. No, no, no. Don't be greedy.

Maybe I can take my mother-in-law since she has no idea what's happening on Taylor Swift. I'm sure she'd love it. That was a fun game. Play it with your friends and family, everyone. Yeah, see how long you can get away with talking in Taylor lyrics. i want to know what your opinion is on destination weddings and then whether you think that they are a little bit selfish or not is that supposed to be hawaiian music mitch what is that i feel like i'm in an elevator it's kind of nondescript destination no it's pretty it's pretty maybe

we're in the airplane and we're about to go to the destination okay but hear me out there is a woman online her name is sarah she has just gone viral she's from the states and she has absolutely unleashed on her guest list for her wedding. So she organized a destination wedding. She invited 150 people. And of that 150 people, only nine people RSVP'd, right? That they were going to come. That's pretty brutal.

Brutal. So that wedding was supposed to be in Thailand. Mitch, can we get out of the elevator? Yeah. We're in Fiji. So then she changed the location to try and make it closer, to make it slightly more convenient for everyone. She still wanted it to be a destination,

But she lives in America. She changed it to Hawaii. So Hawaii is a little bit closer, a little bit cheaper for everyone. So 10 people are coming. Seven people RSVP'd. Is that less? That's less people than original. So this is what she had to say on her post.

At the risk of sounding entitled, I have to vent today. When we invited our friends and family to our destination wedding in Thailand, only nine people RSVP'd out of 150. And I get it. Paying 3K to share my special day might be too much for some of you, but I'd pay it for yours. But then when we changed the wedding to be in Hawaii, so it's within everyone's reach, only seven of you RSVP,

it costs less, but less of you want to come. Is that what you think of my partner and me? You can't spare 2K to come share our happiness. And then she says that if they're not going to come, she's going to delete them all off Facebook and good luck keeping up with our lives then. What? That's brutal.

A mole. Is she the mole or is it too much to expect that your friends are going to pay this money to come to a destination wedding? Oh my gosh, that attitude. Yeah, I think if you're going to have a destination wedding, you have to be completely okay with people saying no. There has to be an expectation that people are going to say no.

And I know I, and also, hang on, I'm actually mad about this. When she said you won't even spend 2K, I'm calling bullshit. No one is spending 2K to get from America to Thailand, accommodation, food, presents, a dress, health insurance. Travel adapters. There is travel adapters. Adapters, they're a pain in the ass. The tourist guidebooks.

Mosquito bugs. Do you know what I thought when I read this? Malaria. I was like, okay, only nine or seven people are going to come to your wedding. The reason is because you're an asshole. Like nobody speaks to their friends like this. And if you're the type of person who's going to write a rant like this on your Facebook page where your friends can read it, that's why you don't have friends about to come to

your wedding. I do. Look, I'm going to put it out there because I love you too and you're my closest friends. I do hope to have a destination wedding. Just putting it out there now. But maybe something like Bali. I don't know. But.

I'd do it for you. But I would know. I like Bali. I'll come there. Yeah, I know that you can work there while you're there, Laura. And I like Brent. What's your boyfriend's name? He's nice.

Peter. Paul. Stop it. You love him more than me. But I know that when you ask people to do that, you have to expect them to not be able to come. I agree. Well, people are calling.

It's clearly fired up the nation, Georgette. Would you do it? Have you had a destination wedding? Yeah, I would do it, and I have had it. But at the same time, I don't think you can expect everyone to come, and I don't think it's rude to ask it nonetheless. But, yeah, you can't have that expectation. Also, it weeds out the people who don't want to come.

It weeds out all the people who are kind of like on the periphery of your friendship groups. Georgette, how many people came to your wedding? No, it wasn't my wedding. I've been to one. I haven't had one, no. Right. Were there a lot of people there?

Yeah, but most people were from that location. Okay, that checks out. That's different. We're in a destination for everyone, yeah. I don't have many friends in Bali. Wait, Lindsay, no, no. No, Chappelle Corby follows me on Instagram. This has turned into, is Brooke being selfish by having her?

Lindsay, hi. What about you? I agree with a destination wedding. I don't think they're selfish at all. I think it's rude to be upset with somebody for having a dream wedding. But if you are going to have that wedding overseas, you're going to expect that some people can't make it because everybody has budgets they need to lead to.

Okay, what if you were having a destination wedding and only nine of your friends said that they would come out of 150? Would you be angry at your friends or would you be like, fair? I get it. Yeah, no, I'd get it and I'd think, woohoo, I've got more honeymoon money. On the flip side, you would be so sad if six people turned up to your wedding.

That is so sad. Especially imagine if your mum wants to come. You know what? I'm going to have a destination funeral. Mitch, do you want no one at your funeral? No, but I'm going to get my corpse flown to Abu Dhabi and I want to have a funeral in the Burj Khalifa. Mitch, I will go.

It doesn't matter. Wherever you take your corpse, I will come. I love you, Laura. I'm not going. Well, you know what? You're not invited. I'm coming to Abu Dhabi. For my funeral.

For a funeral. In a long time. Yeah. Who's paying for your flight? Your dead flight. Kiss FM. I don't know how I feel about this, Laura. About what?

What we're about to broadcast to the world. Oh, well, I'm sorry that I want to bring some news and education. This has literally, what I'm about to tell you, has not only stopped Australia, but it's stopped the entire world. It's the greatest mystery of 2024. To give some context, every week and like every day when we're doing the show, we have this group chat where we throw in all of our ideas and we all kind of toss it into one pot and then we pull out the best things.

Every single day, Brit has sent the same article and then all the updates of the article because she has been desperate to talk about it that has been vetoed up until this point. Honest to God, producer Grace, I've turned your microphone on. She has sent this to you personally as well outside the group chat. I had to take her aside personally and be like, Brit, what's going on with this?

I need to know, do you have, like, personal investments in this? Are you getting paid? Is there somewhere you want to take this specifically? Am I a stingray that is pregnant? No, Grace, I don't have a personal investment. Okay, let me tell you the story, and I think every listener is going to be on the edge of their seat. If you haven't heard, but it's as publicised as Taylor Swift,

I'm sure you've heard it. The great stingray. The great stingray mystery of 2024. There is a female stingray in an aquarium. Its name is Charlotte. It's a beautiful-looking stingray, very long stinger. She has fallen pregnant, which is amazing, right? We love that.

Congratulations, Charlotte. We're so happy for her. Did she struggle? Well, funny you should ask, Mitch. The mystery is she's in a tank with no stingrays, no other stingrays, and only sharks. So everyone is like, how the hell did this stingray get pregnant? The immaculate shark conception.

Yeah, so I've wanted to talk about this for so long and because I haven't been allowed, so many other things have happened. So there's updates already. So firstly, the scientists around the world, stingray scientists, didn't quite know how this happened. So they thought that she had bite marks on her from a shark and sharks are known to bite when they have sex. So mating season.

I also think they're just known to bite for stuff. They're sharks. Yes, but when they have sex, they bite. So there was a theory going around that this is the first shark ray and I think that's actually a thing, sting shark. What's it going to come out like? Just a shark, big gnashing teeth and a stinger? Wait, wait, hold on.

So you want to talk about a pregnant stingray that's fathered by a shark? I'm sorry, is that not mind-blowing? It's actually pretty. I'm kind of into it. I mean, it's interesting. Yes, listen to this. But where are we taking this? Well, it gets better.

Thanks for asking. So a lot of scientists jump on board. You can't even speak. You're so excited. A lot of scientists jump on board And they're like, look, that didn't happen. There's no way. It cannot scientifically happen.

A shark has not mated with a stingray. So everyone's like, well, how the hell has it happened? Apparently there's something called parthenogenesis that some other animals do. Bear with me. Amphibians, some birds and fish, they sex themselves. Wow. We've all been there.

I was going to say, I've always felt a bit fishy. I've always felt like I could connect with some birds. They do. So it is incredible. scientifically incredible. They are falling pregnant and reproducing multiple pups because a pup is what a stingray baby is called without, just alone.

I've never learned. They have a little session out the back of the aquarium and they've produced pups. But I want to add to this. One more thing. Did you know stingrays, and there's something to be said for this. Please breathe.

Did you know stingrays, what they do when it's mating season is they just go hell for leather, right? They just have sex with so many other stingrays. Listen, they have sex with so many other stingrays. then when they fall pregnant which is three to four months they carry multiple pups to all different fathers you can have as many in there from different dads in the one pregnancy that's pretty cool you're not impressed laura i am impressed but i think there's nothing more

beautiful in life than seeing someone really excited about something yeah and my true joy from this is coming from your level of excitement around charlotte and her babies well we'll give you an update next week because she gives birth. No, we're fine. We absolutely will not. We're all going to Taylor Swift this weekend. That's what we'll talk about. Does she give birth in one week, guys? She impregnated herself. Incredible. Let's get her on the line. Hi, Charlotte from the Aquarium. Charlotte joins us now. Hello, Charlotte. She's here on the phone. Hi, Charlotte. It's under the sea. Do you know what? That's probably enough from us and I'm going to go to Taylor Swift now. Is that okay? Can I leave? You know who

actually would love the story of Charlotte? Because to be honest, at its core, it's a feminist story? Taylor. I don't need no man. You don't need a man. You can reproduce yourself. Karma is the stingray in the tank coming straight home to me. She gets down with herself in the aquarium.