Life Uncut - The Best Of The PickUp - Talk seagull to me

Episode Date: May 5, 2024

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. ON THE SHOW Your best animal impersinations Britt has a jungle surprise for Laura and Mitch An important conversation on Domestic Violence Mitch DIY fail Toilette etiquete  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany.

I'm Mitch. And this is our very first week of The Picker with Britt being back from the jungle. Hey. Here she is. I sort of brought a bit of jungle back with me, didn't I? It's like I didn't want to quite let go. What do you mean?

Well, no, it's because we kept giving you shit about it being a holiday and you were like, I was not an effect in any way. Yeah, yeah. If you guys think that that's a holiday, you are gravely mistaken. So I decided to bring some jungle animals into the studio. You said it so many times to me how much you loved it and how much you would go back in if you could and how much you wanted to be there,

which most people don't say that about work so I feel like it sounds like more of a holiday than being at radio no only because I didn't have my phone that's it

that is I would love to do it a holiday from my phone would you have they ever asked you laws would you do it well I nah I wouldn't do

I'm a celebrity just because I wouldn't want to spend that much time away from the kids like genuinely I would find that really really hard especially if they're so little

but maybe when they're older the kids at arm the channel tended to fly the kids over because you'd make the finale no doubt probably not yes you would

you'd get as far as Brit did no doubt Not if there's an ice bath. I can't. I can't. I'm really bad at ice baths. I think you'd be brilliant on it, Mitch. Yeah, you'd be amazing.

I actually told them that you'd be brilliant. But they're like, you're like, one problem, he's not a celeb. Well, we've got one year to get you there. One year. Come on, lifers, at Mitch's jury. Yeah, I feel like maybe we can do this. Maybe we can band together to get Mitch on next year's I'm a Celebrity. Oh, my God.

That'd be so sweet. I think we'd play it cool and we don't look desperate, but I think there'll be some low-key things we might be able to show. Yeah, I don't even know if I want it. yes you do no i'm actually really embarrassed you actually messaged me in there and he said please put in a good word for me everyone email channel 10 i brought what did i bring this week i um had a diy fail at home it's kind of to do i discussed this a few weeks ago the bedhead drama where my parents could hear me having sex because i live at home you know i know how you can fix

that yeah move out you missed all that brie yeah i got caught my parents moved my bedhead because they they didn't tell us i came in my bed was four inches from the wall i i actually made it worse for myself in the family household with my new partner so I'm at a DIY DIY fail you hear that in the show yeah okay well look I mean the show was very animal themed this week guys might have seen on socials already we did do animal impersonations this is just a lot of animals and then it was all Brittany's fault okay but I do have my probably my favorite thing that we have done here in a very long time we are going to be finding love for Michelle Bridges yes so I met michelle in the jungle and we had some really great discussions in there about her being ready

you know she's a single mom being ready to date for the first time after her divorce and i i said you know i want to help you but i didn't really take it that seriously but now we're on a quest we're getting on the radio we are on a quest to find her a lovely man to date i kind of think that she's semi-petrified about it though nah she's frothing it she was like excited but then she was also like what the fuck the way she answered the phone was very much that brit said hey do you want to come on the show and she said yes and that was it and now she's entrapped and now we've got her like signed up to her her um dating apps and have full access yeah you'll hear it she's like great to be here hey guys we're doing dating for you she's like what

like she didn't know anyway we are on the hunt for michelle bridges's new husband um it's really escalated fast buddy we'll take anything whatever you know it could be a nice man to have coffee with she's got stamina guys she wants a lovely respectable date respectable people also want to be bent over sideways and have their hair i am not having a headline we're not having a headline And then Michelle Bridges is looking for someone to fuck. She wants a nice coffee date. She actually said a coffee date to get ease back into the world. So let's just not throw her under the bus, all right?

Can we get the men, though, and put them on the old school Biggest Loser weight scales? No. I think that that's, like, it's not acceptable anymore. Sometimes I forget what podcast I'm on. You both just go, no. No. No, we're not doing that.

It's not 2019. No, of course not. Yeah, 27. Anyway, all that and more. We were just doing the pick-up put-down, which is, you know, the best bits from the weekend, whether we like it or we don't like it. Yeah, and I have brought the best thing that the pick-up put-down

has ever experienced. Which is what, Britt? Animal impersonations. Now, there are before you... You have been in the jungle for too long. It has gone into your brain. So maybe my algorithm is serving me jungle stuff. Actually, that's what it's done.

It's served me jungle stuff. I think Britt has a parasite. It's taken over her brain. Yeah, you two are my parasites. So there are... No, it's going viral online, all these animal impersonations. And there's this kid that just won the Seagull Award, the European Seagull Impersonation Award.

And on top of that, I mean, you heard that I had an amazing seagull and now you guys want in. It's terrible. But can I just show you, before we go into these calls, can I just show you this? This is a little girl. She's like four years old that is going viral for her lion impersonation. Okay, listen to this.

It's the best lion you've ever heard. How can you do that? We may get some air and bull. Oh, my God. How old are you, Britt? Irrelevant. I played the fifth. Okay, I've got it.

I'm going to give it a crack. Oh, God, gee, she flipped from hating it to wanting to give it a crack. I hate it. It's a slippery slope, Britt, once you start. She loves to burn me, but then she's like competitive. I hate it, but I'm competitive. That's the difference. Can I just say, if that was my child, I'd be embarrassed to take her out of the house.

Don't you believe me? Kids do way worse than that. I would be showing everyone that line impersonation. That's embarrassing. Sorry. I've got a seagull for you, everyone. Okay. You could have picked something different.

It's not bad. Mine was better. You guys have public figures. Give me a lion, Mitch. I could do it. That's easy. Okay, go. I actually burped.

I actually burped. What was that? I tried to do that little girl's version. Sorry, that's embarrassing. Last week you farted on radio and this week you're burping. I don't know what just happened. You're disgusting. I think I just swallowed my vulva.

No, what's that thing in the back? My vulva. No, what's the thing in the back? Mitch, you don't have a vulva. You're a uvula. No, I just swallowed a vulva. You swallowed a vulva. Do you know what a vulva is?

You've never had a vulva on you. No, I have not. A vulva is something women have. All right, okay. People are lining up. I'm shocked, Britt, to be honest. On 131065, we have so many calls wanting to demonstrate their animal impression. So let's go to Lisa on 131065.

Hi, Lisa. Maybe we don't get them to tell us. We get them to do it, then we guess. Yes, don't tell us the animal. Yes, so Lisa, give us your impression. Okay, I won't tell you. Yeah, give us your impression, then we'll guess. Lisa.

Hi. Okay, here we go. Kookaburra. Kookaburra or Britney's Laugh. Could be either. Yeah, it could be one of the two. It's definitely a Kookaburra. Is it a Kookaburra, Lisa?

Yes, it is a Kookaburra. That was good. Listen to how chuffed she is. You've pulled that out after a couple of wines at a party before, Lisa. I can tell. It's a party trick. I've used it a lot of the time. Yes, I do.

I mean, look, I'm impressed. My friends love it. Okay, okay. Edmund's called on 131065. And I'd hate to be rude to you, Edmund, but someone with the name Edmund has an animal impression. It's something about the name Edmund that I feel like would do a great animal. Edmund, don't tell us what the animal is.

Please go forth with your impersonation. Okay, you guys ready or what? Yeah. Never been readier. Okay. Okay. That is so cool. One more time.

One more time. he nah he is on a farm you are standing next to a horse i'll do it again you can hear him giggle at the end that's legit he's amazing i think this is a recording you've got you've got a horse tell me when to do it i'll do it Go, go, go. Do it, do it. Hold on.

Hold on. This is so good. He's a stallion in more ways than one. Oh, my God. Okay, one more. One more. Zach, hi. Do your animal impression.

Well, guess what it is, Zach. I think that's a seagull, but sorry, Zach. I think mine was better. Zach, I think that seagull got hit by a car. Oh, Laura. I'm a little bit sick at the moment. Oh, yeah, sure, Zach. Zach, that's not winning any Australasian seagull competitions.

That's a seagull that's had too many hot chips. He's got another one. How about if I speak as a seagull? Oh, please, go for it. That's my next logical thought. Hi, Mitch. This is the worst. What?

This is the best segment I've ever done. What do these people do with their lives? Like, is this just something you practice? Zach, what do you do with your life? Yeah, what are you when you're not a seagull? I'm actually a musician and I work and go to the gym. So I don't have a lot of free time, but somehow I can just mimic stuff. Good on you, buddy.

Somehow you've managed to semi-nail as well. Maybe we can connect Lisa, Edmund and Zach and they can all sort of form a... Like a book club. Now, to be clear, I am so happy to be back in the company of The Pickup. Mitch, Laura, my best friends. But you have been highly offensive for my first two days. Not highly offensive. We just don't think that the jungle looked as hard as you make it out to be.

You were on I'm a Celeb, Get Me Out of Here. You said it was hard. We think it was a breezy holiday. No, listen to this. Before we start the show, we need to address the elephant, no pun intended, in the room. But you're like, oh, I was struggling. I was in Africa.

Oh, I had beans and rice. You, my friend Brittany, were on a holiday. I just am not convinced it was hard. Okay, highly offensive. It was not a holiday. That was yesterday. So, yep, what I have organised here is I thought I'll give them a little taste of what the jungle was like.

Are you ready for this? I don't know. Is Denise Drysdale going to come in and start being rude? Ben, bring him in. If it's an ice bath, I don't want it. I would like to introduce you to Ben from the Hills. Hello, Ben. This is Ben from Hills Wildlife Sanctuary.

Hi, Ben. Hi, everybody. How are we? Hi, Ben. Really nice to meet you. Good to be here. I'm very glad to see that you don't have an ice bath. I feel like I get an idea of what you're doing right now, Bruce.

This is so much fun. Is Malcolm in the middle coming in? What's the jungle experience? What we're going to do is I'm going to hand you both a news article right now. It's something that you are going to present because that's part of your job, right? It seems easy. We're presenters, yeah. I'm a real journalist.

I know you both inside out. Sandra Sully over there. I am going to make you do this article with something that you both detest. Laura, you are going to do it with giant cockroaches on you. And Mitch, you are going to have a python because you love a snake, a big python snake wrapped around you. Why do I get the python? You get a cockroach.

You take the cockroaches. I've got the blood pressure issues. No, I love a snake. I'll have a snake any day. I don't want a cockroach. I also am going to be honest with you. It's a cockroach. Grow up.

Alrighty. So I haven't bought just any old cockroach. I've brought the world's largest species of cockroach. So this thing is literally the size of the palm of your hand. It's an absolute whopper. So gross. Are you going to be able to do this? Yeah.

What happens if I don't? The cockroach. How nice of the cockroach do I have to be? Can I smack it with my laptop? Laura. No, you can't hurt the animal. Ben, is this an endangered species? What kind of cockroach?

It's a cockroach. It is a native species. Wow. It isn't particularly disease-ridden, which is good. So you can give it a little cuddle. It's native. It's quite affectionate. You can't kill natives, can you?

No. No, Laura. And what snake, python, have you got for me? And I've brought an inland taipan, which is the world's most venomous species of snake. So as long as you're calm and you're very slow with your movements, you should be okay, but there's no guarantees. Hold on, are you joking, man?

I am joking. I am joking. Hilarious. I wouldn't do that to you. I would not do that to you. I have brought in an olive python. So it is a python. So it's non-venomous.

It is quite big, actually. So it's the second largest species of python in Australia. So these guys can get up to four or five metres long. So Laura gets a bug and I get the biggest snake in Australia. Big bugs, big snakes, you know, all the good stuff for you guys. I'm fine with everything now. I'm amazing. You can have the cockroach then, Britt.

Is there another animal for me? I've got a little lizard for you, Britt. Oh, yes. I figured I'd give you something less scary because you've just come back from Africa. I'm amazing now. I could have anything. Oh, my God. There's a sack that is moving in the corner of the studio.

I'm fine with this. There's a Christmas sack in the corner that is moving. How do you feel about a snake? Because I'll swap you. No, no swapping. This is my game. You get the giant cockroach, you get the snake. But hold it.

Oh, it's a snail. Look at its legs. Look at its legs. Look at its legs. Sorry, we're not talking about Laura. We're talking about the cockroach. Look at its little legs. Okay, you take that one.

All right, read the article, Laura. Here we go. What's going on? Okay. Yuck. I'm a private investigator and these are the five jobs that cheaters are most likely to have. It's so gross. All right, what do you think?

It's a feral little thing Concentrate please Where's it trying to go? Read the article Okay where do you think What do you think is the Is the Can you tell us?

Keep delivering The job That's most likely to have someone Cheat on you in I don't know mate You've got the list in front of you Okay I was trying to do something interactive

There's more cockroaches Oh my god He's got three cockroaches Yuck sorry It's on its back Oh it's on its back Sorry little guy What's on its back

Oh shit Sorry Laura just dropped it I didn't mean to Laura you threw it I didn't sorry Keep reading the article She's failing

So... Put one on her chest. The jobs in which people... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's on your shoulder. Don't drop it. Okay. I don't like that.

On her head. I don't like that. I don't like that. Also, that's mean to her. What if it falls and hurts itself? Okay. The jobs in which people are most likely to cheat in. Number one, medical staff.

Oh, yeah. Aaron says, irregular sleep patterns, stressful work environments, and long... Get off my thing. I think the Congress... And long work hours are reasons to med... We've worked on a case... No, she can't concentrate. Fail.

She failed. Number two, entrepreneurs, which just covers anyone who's got a job. Cancel. Okay. There was too much fumbling. We couldn't concentrate. I wasn't listening to the story, to be honest. I'm looking at the three cockroaches on your hand.

Look at it. It's kind of cute. I mean, it's a little, it's disgusting, but it's also kind of cute. Look at its head. The head is bigger than an all cockroach. Now, Laura, given what Brit's just been through in Africa, I feel like you could kiss the cockroach. Yeah.

Kiss it. Kiss the roach. It is the world's biggest species, but they are also very clean. Where do I have to kiss it? Just on the back. You've kissed it. Kiss the cockroach. It's worse, to be fair.

Mate, if you saw my ex-boyfriend. It has to have tongue. It has to have tongue. I'm not licking the cockroach, Britt. You lick it. Kiss it with tongue. I had to eat stuff. Lick it.

Laura, lick it. It's only fair. I'm not licking it. It's only fair. Kiss it with tongue. I'm not giving the cockroach a French kiss. I saw you at the Christmas party. Make out with it.

Okay, I'm going to do it. Tongue. Tongue or it didn't happen. Can I just say, sorry, you look like that's its butt, mate. You've got to flip it around. I don't. I'm not going to kiss its legs. Lick it.

Nice. Well done. I didn't see any tongue. Yuck. I was, no. Look at that. Did the cockroach poo on my laptop? I think that is faecal matter, yeah.

The cockroach pooed and Mitch licked it. Okay, bring out this. Oh, my God. Look at this snake. Oh, shit. No, don't. Why do I get this snake? It's so big.

Ben's snake is out and I'm sweating. Let me do it first at least. It's so beautiful. Ben, describe the snake. So this is an olive python. So they are the second longest species of python in the world, in Australia, I should say. They are capable of eating wallabies.

So they could eat a full-size wallaby as an adult. So they are an absolutely enormous python. Very friendly, but they will give you quite a big cuddle. And if it starts to constrict, you just have to be careful because they do, you know. They could kill you. They could. How do you kill it off? Could they really kill you?

No, they couldn't. Ben, you're a real comedian, mate. That was a good one. Okay, bring it over to Mitch. All right, let's do it. Oh. Okay. Ready?

You've got to wait until it touches you and then you'll deliver the news, Mitch. All right. All right, in breaking news, I'm a private investigator. Oh, we're heavy, huh? And these are the five jobs cheaters are most likely to have. Number one, medical staff. Number two, entrepreneurs. It's now going around Mitch's neck.

No, do not put that around my neck. Do not. No, I'm not into the neck stuff. You need to kiss it. It's so heavy. Kiss it. It's so heavy. Being heavy is also call centre workers who are heavy because they often cheat.

It's going around my ankle. Why is it on my ankle? No, you need to have it to your face. It's wrapping around my ankle. It's actually, at this point, quite like a shiatsu massage. I'm not hating it. At this point, it's a nice... Hey!

Oh, my God, it's annoying. Hey! Hey! Hey! Okay, Mitch, no longer can deliver the news because the snake is in his face. Mitch, how's the news? Hey! Can you get to the...

Hey, snake. Oh, boy, that's a python on my neck. Oh, boy, it's rapping. Okay, let's get the news now because you can't do it. Okay, it's going down your tummy. Ben, why don't we maybe take her off? No, I really want to know what the professions are where people get cheated on. What are they?

I don't have a profession anymore. How do you feel? Can I? No, Ben, it's in my glasses. It's pulling my glasses off. Okay. Oh, thanks. This is so fun.

Guys, I'm not joking. He knows. The snake knows that these blue... Oh, my God, look at his leg. My leg. Thanks, Ben. One question. Would that snake eat that cockroach?

No, these guys predominantly eat mammals and birds. And Mitches. And little Mitches, yeah. Yeah, of course. Laura is grabbing the snake. I want to hold it. I'm okay. I'm genuinely okay with snakes.

All right. now usually on this show we are the ones who are bringing the laughs and we're here for a good time but there's something that is so serious that is happening um all across the country at the moment you you would all be aware of the the marches that happened on the weekend the rallies that happened for women who are protesting against male violence um and also this year so far 32 women have been killed and you know as much as we speak and we want to do a show that's light and has levity and is so much fun this is something that is a true crisis that's happening across the country well yeah and just to put that 32 women into context for you that one woman is being

murdered and we're going to use the term murdered every four days when you hear that statistic brit when you hear like one one woman every four days it's almost it's almost unbelievable but then it makes me think and i think it's the bigger picture of this that's being left out we're talking about these women who are being murdered but we're not talking as much about the women who live every single day in situations where they're petrified, or women who are living in households where domestic violence is such a common part of their home life. And I think sometimes with domestic violence, we other it, we really sort of go, okay, well, that's happening to people who are maybe poorer, or they're from, you know, drug affected families, we always kind of move it away

from our communities and move away from ourselves. And we really other it. And I don't want to by any means make this about myself. But something that I think is so important in this conversation is that everybody knows someone who has been affected by domestic violence and even if you don't know you know them 100 100 and we don't talk about it enough because it's so shameful it's so embarrassing you know i grew up um and with a big chunk of my childhood i was completely terrified of my mom's ex um and it was a really volatile household and it was really violent at times and i remember i remember my mom trying to call the police and he ripped the phone out of the walls yeah because he didn't want her to be able to get help

and that you can take a second that i mean that's something i know about you laura and it's so i shouldn't be brave of you to share but it's so important you're sharing that now but that's what people don't realize is that people in these situations they do try to get out and they do try to get help and sometimes they can't well i think the thing is is and i was i've thought about this a lot because I struggle to talk about it, but women have been scared for a really long time, really scared. And now they're just angry. They're angry that they're not safe in their homes. They're angry that they can't go to the shops. They're angry that they can't go for a run. All of these things have kind of, it's kind of come to this real boiling point in society. And

a part of me is like, I'm so happy that now we're paying attention to it, but it's so devastating how bad it had to get before people are actually paying attention to what's happening in so many households across the country. I mean, it was announced today, right? Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, this was earlier today, he's come out and said his government will invest almost $1 billion in what they're calling a leaving violence payment.

It's for women fleeing violent relationships. To be able to get out of it. Yeah, so over the next five years, they will set it up. Which is incredible, but also we're already at the point where a woman is being murdered every four days. Like, I love that. I love that he's putting some money into it and we're noticing now, but why did it have to take a woman every four days to be murdered?

And like you said, Laura, we're not safe anywhere now and that's not us being dramatic. Not in your home, not going for a run as we have seen this year, not going for a walk, not walking back to our car, not going to the shopping centre. There is nowhere anymore. I know that there's been a lot of, I've seen a lot of people compare this and I think it's a really fair comparison.

You know, the King hit punch that happened in King's Cross and as soon as that happened and there were deaths that occurred, the legislation changed dramatically immediate immediate but it's had to come to this like insane the numbers now are insane they are scary and people are so angry about it and i know mitch we've spoken a little bit and it's a conversation i've had with my husband matt as well and he's like well as a as a man i don't know how to get involved as a man i'm like i don't know how to to have these conversations or how do i like what what do i do to try and help i find that interesting because i actually think it's so easy i think men's voices are so important the most

important ones i think they're more important because we women's voices have been there forever we have always been saying help we've always been saying stop it's the men that need to turn up and i find it really gobsmacking when i hear a man honestly say i don't know what to do you turn up to the rally you voice to younger people that real men don't hurt women real men don't raise their voices to women and you hold your friends accountable i think that's the biggest thing is if you I mean if you're a man who's listening to this show like if you if you hear your friends make really misogynistic jokes if you hear your friends say things that are awful about their wife or their kids you call them out because it's yeah it's not funny and the reason why it's not a joke

is you might think it's a joke because you don't do these things but people do and it's happening every day I think there are two male responses to a man listening to this right there's the man like Matt and your husband Matt and myself laws who go well god this is how I was raised this to I mean, how do I get involved because this is so foreign to me? And then you've got the men who are deeply triggered by it, who go, it's not all men. It's not all men are violent. This is ridiculous.

It's the one-off. It's the man that was drunk. It was the man that was on drugs. And you go, the difference in those two men, in my opinion, is how you were raised. My father taught me. I've got a beautiful mother, two beautiful sisters. I was raised from as far back as I can remember not to touch my sisters,

not to talk to my sisters with any ounce of aggression or disrespect. As were my brothers. 100%. and I'm sure as was Matt because I sit here and I go, well, this is so foreign to me and I just know there are men who hear this, would hate my opinion on it, would hate hearing you two and then it also infuriates me that for women and for my family and for you two,

it feels like for years you've just been screaming into a void, right? Well, yeah, and I think that that's why we have to stop othering it. We have to stop pretending like it's not happening in our communities and down the street and we have to stop pretending like it's not our friends who might be the people who perpetuate this type of thing because it is, and that's the really, really scary part. Yeah, but for the boys listening to this as well,

it's the microaggressions that lead to these big moments, right? You're at the pub with the boys, and it's the way you disrespect a Tinder match that your friend's got. You know, it's a woman, and it starts with those little tiny microaggressions that lead to bigger things. But it also starts with smaller things in a relationship. Control, coercive control, financial control,

all the little... It starts, and it builds up, and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger until the woman or the children have nowhere else to go. Hey, listen, ladies, and on 131065, I'd be very interested if you've had a DIY fail of your own, like you've gone full handyman at home and it's just gone ass up because it's happened to me. So 131065.

You've gone handyman, Mitch. I can't, I'm not picturing you with a tool belt. I was just thinking of him ass up. I know you're a man. I didn't say that. I didn't, I said you're not a handyman. You're not handy. Well, you do get a bit frisky, but not that kind of handy.

Laura, you think you give me ass up, are you? Oh, sorry. I'm only human. You are. That's right. So is the rest of the nation. So, listen, I live at home with my parents and it's kind of, there's only so much you can do

to your bedroom when you live in someone else's house. Do you have to ask your parents if it's okay to put things on the wall? Can I hang a painting? Hey, Mum, I want to put some posters of the Backstreet Boys up. I didn't this time around. It wouldn't be Backstreet Boys.

I don't know. God, you're from the 90s. It wouldn't be no one because I'm an adult. Cancer? I'm 28 now. You live at home. You can have a poster up. I was just thinking of what I used to put up on the walls

when I was living at home, but that was the era. Backstreet Boys. Totally. He lived at home as children. Continue. I bought a pothos, a plant, a nice hanging fern. A pothos. Yeah, a pothos.

Potato, potato. God, you're such a flower power nerd, aren't you? A pothos. And I wanted to hang it from the ceiling. So when I was at the flower power, she's like, do you want a hook to hang it from the ceiling? I'm like, great. She's like, just drill it into the ceiling. And I was like, I've got a drill.

She's like, it's so easy. Anyone can do it. Looked me up and down. Was like, anyone. Like even you. Even you can do it, kid. So I'm like, oh, okay, cute. So me and my partner, Stephen, we're like, let's do it.

So we went home and we were in my bedroom and I found the perfect corner. Just white, classic Aussie ceiling roof. I like, everyone loves a hanging basket. So nice. Right? It really opens the room up. It does. And it will oxygenate the room.

Brilliant. So I get the drill and I get the little screw and I just put it in the corner of the roof. I start to drill. First, maybe three seconds is brilliant. I'm Scott Cam. I'm applying for the block next year. Yeah. And this is great.

Easy. Smooth like butter. Like it's a block of Lurpac. Planning your renos on the house. Then. I go, what is it? that. I go, is that like a metal beam? So how far into the ceiling

were you at this time? Like an inch? Okay, it's probably far enough. Totally. That was probably far enough for a flower pot. Yeah, it was hitting something hard, but no, I had to get the screw all the way in, so I thought, I'm going to keep pushing. So I get my other hand and I go all the way up, and it breaks through. I go, brilliant. And then you put the drill into reverse

mode. You take it out, yeah. You pull it out, and I pull it out, and I go, oh, I can smell like pine wood. I can smell like pine-a-clean. What I'd done is I'd drilled through the floorboards above into my parents' bedroom. Oh, my God. Above me. How long was the drill that you were using?

Oh, it was like 10 centimetres. No, it wasn't. You want a peephole into your parents' bedroom to see them doing the dirty? That's not at all what I did it for. But now there is, yeah, a peephole into my parents' bedroom directly above. I went straight through the floorboards upstairs. This just means now they no longer, I mean, last week you were talking about them hearing your acoustics with the bed.

Now they can see the acoustics. The bedhead's slapping against the wall. Now they'll be able to hear it. Did you go upstairs and investigate how close is the hole to where the bed is? Did you sneak into your parents' room while they were asleep and look down the peephole? No, it was in the middle of the day. I went upstairs and you could, yeah, you can look straight through it. You can put a straw through it and we could speak to each other.

Have your parents seen said hole? No, they haven't seen said hole yet. Okay, but they're going to hear it. They're going to hear the hole. They're going to hear this, so it'll be an issue. But I want to get wood putty or something. You just reminded me. So talking about men and not doing DIY, last time my partner Ben was busy in Australia

in my house one of my fly screen windows of my bedroom above my bed that goes into the garden was a bit like bent and broken and went out so like basically spiders had a free reign to get in through the window so ben big sexy man six foot five was like babe i'm gonna fix the window so spiders don't get in and i'm like oh so hot like you just got hotter i love a man that can do stuff anyway i come in later the whole window is glad wrapped with sticky tape that was his diy He glad-wrapped the window and he goes, babe, I fixed it. I was like, I thought you put it in your flyer screen. And he's like, oh, I don't know how to do that.

He just sticky-tape glad-wrapped. You can't be beautiful and handy. You can't have both. It doesn't work like that. Rob's called on 131065. Rob, are you beautiful or handy? What was your DIY failure? Kind of like the glad-wrapped guy.

And I'm actually, I'm pretty proud of this one. I was doing a flat-pack wardrobe. And you know how they give you all the Allen keys and the screws and stuff, you know? Yeah, and the instructions that no one looks at. Yeah. Well, I could do that, but I didn't have the drill to actually drill in the handle for the door, right? So, I just grabbed a plastic bag and sticky taped that inside the door handle out. What?

And I would just pull on the handle of the plastic bag to open the wardrobe. That's what I used. And I moved out of that house after about two years, but the plastic bag door handle was still holding strong. Wait, you glued it on? Or you just sticky taped it. You sticky taped it on? Yeah, just tape. Tape did the job.

Rob, I made an error. You're an idiot. No, it's giving Ben back. Don't be so mean to Rob. They're very different things, aren't they? No, you just both suck at DIY. Yeah, okay, Rob. So, Rob, don't listen to Mitch.

He's just mean. Let's get lunch, mate. Let's get here with friends. Or Rob and I go on the block and that's great television. Yeah. That's good. That's good. I've won him over.

Thanks, Robbie. So you guys know I was recently in the I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here jungle in South Africa. And somebody I absolutely fell in love with in the jungle, which I probably didn't see that friendship coming, was Michelle Bridges. Now you guys know Michelle from our TV screens from a very long time on The Biggest Loser.

And Michelle and I sort of became bunk buddies. And I have this real way of like a parasite, like wedging myself into someone's life, particularly their love life you've described yourself as michelle bridges's parasite that's so cute i love that for you guys i am michelle's south african parasite but i had a conversation in the jungle with michelle which i know ended up making it to air about trying to get her back into the dating world and if she's if she's ready because to me i was like man you are such a catch and someone you deserve love and someone is going to be so lucky to have she's hot michelle is hot

She's fit, she's ripped, she's got a business. Like, if I wasn't the way I was, I'd go to Michelle Bridges. Well, we talked through, like, dating, getting her back on dating sites and, like, taking those steps. But it's hard. Like, I mean, when you've been out of the dating game for so long, the idea of getting back onto a dating app is so, I can only imagine, is so daunting.

Well, I wanted to get an update, so I've got Michelle on the phone. Oh, Michelle Bridges, welcome to The Pickup. Hello. Hi, Michelle. Oh, hi. I love this conversation, Mitch. I'm always open for it. Just let me know if you change course.

Okay, all right. Brittany, let's be honest. Brittany, we were sleeping together when we were all right. There's the headline is Brittany and Michelle sleep together in the jungle. Ménage à trois. Do you know, Michelle, you might not be aware of this, but when you and Britt were both in the show,

something that was shown on I'm Celebrity on one of the episodes was Britt soliciting for your love life. So she encouraged anyone who wants to date Michelle Bridges to slide into your DMs on Instagram or Britt's DMs. And at the time, Mitch and I were both managing Britt's Instagram. So we were the ones who were getting all the dating requests. But I don't think Michelle knows that. Well, no, there was many.

We got all of them. Michelle, I filtered out some real duds for you. So, Michelle, I... There was a plethora of gentleman callers. Michelle, I want to know, how has it been? Like, have you... Since coming out of I'm a Celebrity, have you started dating again?

Are you giving it a red-hot crack? I'm just still reeling over the fact that Brittany has now become my gatekeeper, which I'm absolutely happy with. I mean, we were bed buddies, so that's fine. It seems like you're the right person for it. Since I got back, I've had a conversation not just with Brittany but a couple of my other girlfriends who have convinced me

that I need to go on these dating apps. So two days ago, I did that. While my son was at flip out, I drove him to flip out and sat on the side watching him jump up and down on the trampoline. Swiping like a crazy. You thought, I want to flip out too in a very different way. Download the apps. Whilst plugging in my photographs, which I just got all flustered about

and couldn't be bothered and just put anything up in the end and then wrote in this really lame, oh, I like going out for social lunches and dinners and I like to keep active, which Brittany has told me now by saying I like to keep active, it means I like to have lots of sex, which I didn't even know that. It does. It's that code.

I like being active. 100%, yeah. That doesn't just mean hot girl walks. It means you like to be active. So I actually had a little... But anyway, I have never seen anything like this in my life. You've got to remember, I've never looked at a dating online app ever and for me it was just so overwhelming.

Suddenly I was looking at all these men in like an online shopping experience which was just mind-blowing. Which app are you using? Am I allowed to say? Yeah, go for it, yeah. I'm using Bumble which was what all of the girlfriends of mine had suggested that I should do. Do you, Michelle, now that you're talking to people,

have you started chatting to anyone? Because I could only imagine that people must see you on a dating app and then be like, oh, my God, it's Michelle Bridges. Like, oh, it's fake. Yeah. I must admit, I think I've got some, I don't even know how to use it yet. I'm still fumbling around trying to figure out

what all the gold star means and this means and that means. And I've had a message come through to say, can you prove it, do a selfie? And I just ignored that. And I haven't had really the guts to work up to a full-blown conversation, but I have waved at someone. My other girlfriends were saying, use it as a data collection basis.

You're collecting data on what you like, what you don't like, who you want, who you don't want. And so you're gathering information and intel about yourself but also about others to kind of make sure that you sort of get your sea legs back, so to speak. I haven't been in the dating world for years. Well, Michelle, here's what we can offer as opposed to the apps. The dating services.

Free of charge. We are live around the country. We're in the pickup. And I don't want to, you know, I don't want to guess what you're into. But we've got some gorgeous dads who are doing the pickup. They're single dads. They've got gorgeous kids. They're out picking up their children.

They're listening to this. They're going, I'd love a fit, active, beautiful, driven woman. Michelle Bridges is my type. Can we open our DMs to get some men? Then Producer Grace, we can filter through the options. Then we can maybe put together a PowerPoint and have you over for dinner. We will vet them. Every single one.

Yep. And you would know I wouldn't lead you astray, Michelle. Yeah, you happy if we do that? Well, Brittany, I can't exactly for sure know this, Brittany. I have seen you in action. If you are listening in the car now and you think that you could be right for Michelle or maybe you know someone that could be right for Michelle, we want to hear from you at the pick-up or if you want,

you can slide into Brittany's DMs. But we are genuinely, I am, there's one thing I want to be known for in this life if I ever leave this world and it is setting up Michelle Bridges with the love of her life. So please slide in. We're going to find you an amazing date, Michelle. All right. Oh, my God.

Love you guys. Love you, Michelle. Okay, I have a question for you guys. So I had an experience just the other day with I went into a public toilet and I don't know why it got me thinking about this, but I think that there is a bit of an etiquette when it comes to using a public toilet, right? And I want to know as an adult what you guys do.

So there's a couple of different techniques. One of those techniques is putting the toilet paper down around the entire rim of the toilet right old faithful you have little kids you spend a lot of time in public toilets because they're always like mom i need to go to the toilet even if you've just been 10 minutes before you will use every public toilet in the vicinity when you have little kids so my question is do you put down the toilet paper do you hover what do you do because i walked into a toilet the other day and it was covered in the toilet paper but the person had just left it on the rim of the toilet no no you scoop that in you flush it at all it's diy one use only that's pretty obvious

You don't just leave your toilet paper barrier on there. But then you're touching the toilet anyway. No, you're not. No, you're not. You put your own, you reuse a layer. Why would you touch the toilet? You just put it in the toilet. Okay, do you put toilet paper down or do you hover?

Or do you sit, go cold, you raw dog it straight on that seat? No, I would 99%, no, probably 95% toilet paper. And if I think it's going to be a really super quick wee, I will hover. But I probably don't have- Hover? What do you mean hover? Paint me a picture. Like squat over.

Like, as a woman, you guys have such luxury. Walking into a public toilet, weeing all over the place. Like a squat hover. We have to squat hold like you're at a gym. Oh, yeah, like a trough is better. I'm like Porky the Pig standing up with my pants at my ankles, weeing onto a wall that bounces back and hits you in the crotch. It's not as hygienic as you think.

I don't know if many other men do that. I've got a heavy flow. Do you? Yeah, it's like a horse sometimes. Strong, strong. Can I throw something out there? Yeah. Can I throw out what I think is the dream public toilet set up?

Please. You guys are going to fall in love. You've been thinking about this, haven't you? Oh, yeah. Let me tell you. You walk in. It's a cornice cubicle. No cracks in the door.

You walk in. You shut the door. There's no light coming in. You can barely see out. Why do you want to be pooping in the dark? Supreme privacy. Okay, right. Yeah.

You then see on the wall next to the toilet, there's one of those devices that sanitises the toilet seat. Oh, my God, the spray. You get a bit of toilet paper. You spray it. You're sitting on basically a Versace dinner plate, babe. My butt's never been in here. You could stay there all week.

That's cleaner than the toilet in your house. I need to stake off that thing. I'm going to add to that. Have you ever had the luxury of a heated toilet seat? You don't go back. A public one. No, we're designing our dream toilet, Laura. So sorry.

I'm still at the beach toilets trying to navigate how to put the paper down. No, the beach toilet does not have heated. Heated toilet seat. It's amazing. You don't ever want to get off the toilet. I'm not a fan of heated car seats either. It always makes me feel like I've wet myself. I love a heated car seat.

No, it's not my thing. I have a heated blanket at night. I love the heat in my loins. What about a bidet? Have you guys had a bidet? I think Australia, listen here, Australia, we need to get more bidets in Australian toilets. If you haven't had a stream of water splash on your little cheeks,

you haven't lived. You're not living. You're not living. It changes your life. One wipe. One spray, one wipe. Okay, here's the question. Do you, Mitchell, do you bidet before or after you wipe?

Well, after. You bidet after. Do you do your bidet after? Why do you do your bidet before? I think you bidet first and then you wipe after. So you dry yourself. I think it's supposed to be first you clean it. I don't think you wipe and then bidet.

I'm Googling it. No, because you can't just do your mess and then stand up and leave. You've got to spray it. No, I think you go to the toilet, do your number two, and then you spray it clean and then you wipe that down so that you use less toilet paper than you need to. I think it's all about making minimal waste is what the bidet is for. Okay, I Googled it.

you use a bidet after you poop thank you but before you wipe so mitch you've been doing it wrong you do it to clean the area no wonder i slip and slide on chair look at a wet butt i i know that this okay everyone's going to do things different when it comes to public toilets when it comes to how you like the pristine toilet time to be but let me tell you it really blew my mind the day i found out that some people stand to wipe their backsides that was when i was like okay we're all doing it differently i'm a sitter yes i'm a sitter but my ex-boyfriend was a stand no so many people no no one is standing up to do their number twos it's the wiping okay i walked into the bathroom and my ex-boyfriend was standing up wiping his backside you know what it is i was

like what is going on it's jarring it's almost it's almost like when you see a dog on its hind legs you go that's not natural that needs to be stopped i was like who taught you how to do this It's like you've seen an El Chupacabra in the public. You go, that thing needs to go. I'm going to make an executive decision here. This chat is over. It's Friday. No one needs to hear any more about any of your toilet habits.

What do you think? Should we continue this chat? We need to wrap this up. Yes, thank you. We've all got a margarita to go have. Let's go. Let's go to Team Drinks, guys. See you soon.

Bye.