Life Uncut - The Best of The PickUp - The Big Goodbye

Episode Date: December 15, 2024

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. Today's ep is unlike anything we have had to record before and are heartbroken by the decision that has been made for the show.  What's on the show Mitch has learnt a something new late in life What did you eat Can you name your child a dog name? Our uber ratings exposed Marlie is breaking up with Laura You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. I'm Mitch. And this week's pickup show was a bloody doozy. Well it's the end of the year so we're all going on holiday but it's um your last show with us Mitch. Yeah last show with the girls. Which Which was a celebration of Mitch Turi. Yeah. It sounds like he's died. I know.

You're not. You're going to thrive. This is going to be the start. I know. You know what? I thought I'd be more emotional, but I kind of feel like we're not going anywhere, the three of us. No.

Our friendship is stronger than ever. We had that Christmas party on the weekend. It got litty. I did not expect a threesome, but it was fun. Well, I'm glad we did it. I'm glad we finally got there, though. We wanted to send you out with a bang. Yeah, you've held for three years.

You said you didn't get any present. That was your present. But no, it was a beautiful send-off. It was nice. the gifts, the flowers, the cactus, which I'd love you to explain again a third time. I thought that a cactus, when I saw it, I was like, this really symbolises you, Mitch, because a cactus never dies.

It knows no limits. It can grow as high as you want. It doesn't need a lot of water. To be fair, when I saw the cactus, I was like, it looks a little bit dead on top. And Britt was like, no, they're flowers. And I was like, I think they're not dried out. The lady, the cactus lady, I think she told me the cactus.

And Mitch, look at the babies on the side. Sorry, did you go to a florist to get me flowers and go, hey, he's lost his job. What's the perfect flower? No, I thought of what was really cute to get you that was like symbolic and that you couldn't kill. It's dying on the top. Yeah. She said that's good luck.

The cactus lady said that that's good luck. And I thought you needed that. Remember when our executive producer Tony left and you bought a Dior? Yeah, you got a cacti. But you have so many designer things. You don't need Dior. I've actually started selling them periodically. You have?

To pay for food. And also, Steve, you made Steve and your boyfriend sell them. You haven't sold it. I think I might do the famine challenge this year just because it's all I can afford. Mitch, that's not true. That is actually not true. At least you haven't lost your sense of humour.

Thank God. They can't take that from me, can they? They can't take that from you. Well, I think you guys are going to be back next year. It's going to be very fun, but you'll hear more of us three in the new year, which is exciting. I mean, if you guys remember,

we talked about it for anyone who didn't hear the episode a couple of weeks ago where Mitch and Britt and I, we all spoke about what happened with ARN and Mitch's redundancy and how the pickup show has been structured. Like you can go back and have a listen to that episode. We did describe it all in there. But this week was, it was a celebration of Mitch, really. It was.

And also like you've had such a long career here and so much has changed. I know we say it on the break coming up, but I really want to reiterate it to you. The person that you were when we started this show and where you are now and the person that you are now, you were completely chalk and cheese to that person. The confidence you have, like seeing you shine on stage at the Life Uncut Live shows, You are just a different person. Hold up that cactus for a second. What I want to say is when you started, you were that flower on the top,

that little dead thing. Now you are the big cactus. You are thriving and you are growing and you're going to do amazing things. And we're going to talk about it loads when it happens. But so everyone knows right now, Mitch is going to be doing comedy shows, stand-up comedy shows. We're going to put call-outs for all the lifers. We're going to come out in droves to support you,

and it's going to be the best, funniest comedy show anyone has ever been to. I love you guys. No pressure, but make it good. Can I put the cactus down? Yeah, put the cactus down. Do you remember, I don't think we've ever shared this, can I quickly share a story?

Yes, of course. Do you remember I got a call from the person who's still our boss now and he was like, Life Uncut Girls, Brit and Laura, I want to bring them in because I was doing late nights at that point, 10 till midnight. Is this before we've met? We had never met. We had never met.

I'd interviewed Brit when you went on Batch in Paradise yeah because i had a late night show and i was like i love this guy but then i found out you're gay yeah yes yeah similar situation anyway i think brit lined up so i interviewed you but he said they're going to come on and they're going to do like a live demo of sorts we think they'll be on radio and remember you turned up at like 9 p.m to the old building late night late night and you came in and we did it live live fully live like you just came in and sat down and you've never done live radio before and we just took calls and you put posts on the lifers group and i'm like what the fuck's a lifer what was your first impression of that moment like of when we did

that show of us specifically i was like oh he's fucking idiot i argue like sisters we do argue like sisters they're really close they're really close you're like they either hate each other or they love each other and i can't tell which one it is no you guys are great did you ever think in that moment that that demo that night would turn into like the years that we've had and the friendship that we've got no because i'd never had anyone on a show with me i'd never had a co-host but did you you had fun were you nervous how did you feel doing that night uh yeah i was nervous like live as well but also it was your show so we just put like guests on there so that was and that's kind of one of the big things and what's really scary about next year is like we've

always been cushioned by you like you are the experienced radio person you've always had our back you've always been there to kind of like if we're floundering you're like I've got this you can use the word floundering yeah but I use it in context of floundering I'm not allowed to use floundering I got in trouble for saying my career will flounder after I leave ARN no I didn't that That is, I'm calling BS. That is not what I said. And you know I said it with the love and intention. It's kind of, I think it's actually what you said,

but it was an accident. I don't think you meant it the way it came out. I meant you'll be floundering around, but I meant that by saying you'll be around. You know I love you. Whatever, shut up. You don't even fish anyway. Of course I don't.

Everyone's confused. No, but it's. I love you guys. Thank you for, you know what, here's a bit of sap if you really want it. So I, there was like, I went through one of the biggest breakups of my life when I was with you guys.

And you two personally, like, got me through that. Like, I would see you every day. And I was in a really, like, dark spot. And I was also 160 kilos. I was a big boy. Like, there was a lot of physical and mental change with myself. And you guys were there every step of the way. And I couldn't have done it without you.

I love you. Well, we will still be there every step of the way. I could go so far as to say the last three years doing this with you guys has been, like, the best years of my life. Oh, me too. Me too, guys. Just, we're not even going to tell you what's in the show. Just listen.

no the thing is okay just so you guys do know the show this week it is a normal pickup show like it was a normal week of work um it's our last week of the pickup for the year and then brit and i will be coming back but as we told you we're making some big changes next year to the podcast and to the structure of episodes and the days that everything's dropping and we have had a lot of conversations as to whether or not we will actually put the pickup into the podcast next year. We'd love your feedback as to whether you would like it to still be included. But at the moment, we're ready for some big changes to be made. And I think it makes sense for those changes to coincide with the show changing as it is anyway. We will still do the pickup as a podcast,

but we just don't know if we'll put it in its own separate feed or if it can stay in the Life Uncut feed. Yeah, we're working out the logistics of that at the moment. And Mitch, you know, and I know that we've said it in the Life Uncut discussion group and thank you to everyone who jumped on bored with, like, their ideas and whatnot. But, yeah, Mitch, you are still a part of the Life Uncut family and there are some big things happening that will be on their way in 2025. Yeah, I'm getting married. Yeah.

Am I still coming? I meant for Mitch's career with Life Uncut. Yeah, he's emceeing my wedding. That is his career. That is us in a nutshell. Laura, big things coming for us in 2025. Yeah, I'm getting married. Well, I meant that that was going to be your career.

You're going to emcee. Yeah, big people coming to that wedding. Big people coming, man. You don't know who's going to see you. No one's coming. No one's coming. No one's coming. Hopefully Ben's going to be there.

Hey, Lifers, I love you. I'll be back. Thanks for listening. It's the last time. Thanks for listening. Merry Christmas, everyone. The support from the Lifers has been amazing and I'm so grateful. Thank you, guys.

Yeah. We love you. We love you. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. We love you, girls. Brittany Hockley, Laura, you don't know this, on the weekend almost got me arrested. You almost got yourself arrested.

No, I did not. You don't even know the story and you side with Britt. No, it's not that I side with Britt. Well, that's because she knows her place. No, it's not that I side with Britt. It's just that you are a grown man who makes autonomous decisions and I don't believe that Brit almost got you arrested. I nearly got you arrested at a stretch.

I gave you an idea and you ran with it. We had pick-up team drinks on the weekend. It was us. It's our little Christmas party because this is our last show for the year on air together. So we went, let's go have drinks and celebrate. So we did. And then the night wrapped up pretty late.

It was almost midnight. Yeah, we were real ravers. Yeah, and we were in the middle of the city. So Laura goes one way home, which is weird because she decides to walk home, which was odd. She needed some air. You were driving. Yeah.

I'd walk to my car. I'm the one who had all the margaritas. How are you getting arrested? I was sober. So I was walking with Britt because Britt needed to lift home. She lived 100 metres away, but she still needed to lift home. It was late. So I walked to my car and then we walked past one of those e-bikes,

like a lime bike, you know, that are like the public free bikes. They're not free, but yeah. Well, no, they're not, but you can jump on them, jump on and off, you know. Yeah. So I see it and it's like glowing red. And then Britt goes, Mitch, I dare you to sit on it. I'm like, sure, I'm sober. Like, that's not really a big dare.

So I sit my butt on it. And then Brit goes, oh, my God, kick the stand up and ride it a little bit. I'm going to film this. I had had a few drinks. She had. And also, I'm a court jester. I'm like a monkey. So if someone asks me to do something, I do it.

If it gets a cheap laugh, I'll ride a bike. I love that this is where it was at. We left the Christmas party and you're like, ride the line bike for content. I'll take a video and put it on Instagram. I thought that he could ride it and I could just hop on the back maybe just because, like, it was 50 metres up the road. Yeah, but gone are the days of jumping on, like, a green machine and it being, you know, mechanical.

I sit on this thing and then all of a sudden a British woman starts to talk to me hello welcome to e-bike insert card or cash to ride me i'm like oh what a lovely sounding woman i'm not gonna do it but bit of fun and then brit goes pretend you're riding pretend you're riding so i kick up the little i kick up the little stand and it kind of rolls forward and then locks into place like rigor mortis is set in ka-chunk and i kind of jump back and forward then out of nowhere all of a sudden there was a dead cow no it was yeah A dead cow floated past. An alarm went off.

It was Mitch. It was louder than that. You've forgotten. It was like an ambulance police siren coming out of the e-bike, drawing so much attention to us. Mitch, I don't know what happened. You were stuck on the bike. It looks like your lace was stuck in the shoe thing.

You couldn't get your shoe undone from the bike. Baggy jeans are in and they got caught in the peg. So we're trying to run. I'm like run because she's alarming and then the voice comes out on top of that and says, you are being filmed. We are recording everything and there was a camera in the e-bike. You are being filmed. Everything you say and do will be used against you in a court of law.

You are on camera. Is that Brittany Hockley from The Bachelor? I'm like, what? The bike knows? I run. I was like, leaving you for dust. See you, kiddo. Anyway, Mitch's jeans are caught in the pedal.

So he can't get off the bike. You are being filmed. How long are you sitting on the bike? I hope they release that footage. Like 13 seconds. Britt runs off because she's like, this will destroy my image. I'm gone. So this footage would go all over Daily Mail.

It's like those ring doorbell cameras. And it was crotch footage too. The camera was like on the middle of the bike. So there's this overweight man sweating because it was so humid. And I'm like mounting going, Brittany, Brittany. And the audio would be terrible because it's a bike bike. This could be like the equivalent. If this footage gets out, it could be the equivalent of like a mystery sex tape,

just the crotch on an e-bike trying to get off. Oh, it would be. It would be like the elephant man stuck in a tar pit. It was awful. And Britt ran. She ran to my car. Why didn't you just put some money in the e-bike? It's not like, it's not a coin slot.

Mitch didn't have time to download an app and then put your car details in. It was terrible. The e-bike felt like it was being assaulted. That's what that was. The e-bike was like, make it stop. My counterpart was, when she wanted me to pay, she was this sultry British woman. Then straight after it was Boris Johnson. I was like, get off the bike, you're being filmed.

I'm like, Jesus Christ, that changed quickly. It could have ended very differently. It could have, but we're here and we're okay. But if you have that footage, if you own the company, send it to us. It'll be funny. We'll do some advertising for you. Linebacks are great. We'd love to see.

Hey, there's a bit of a dumping pit happening online at the moment. I feel like this is just a standard TikTok, right? Something goes viral, then everyone complains in the comments. But this one is about labor. So there's a TikToker named Shanice Sinclair who shared a nine-minute TikTok about her narcissistic partner and how he missed the birth of their child because he was such a beep. Put a beep in.

so basically when i didn't have to i didn't have the beep ready so i just said beep insert beep here so basically she started to complain that she was having labor pains that she was like to her partner hey i'm going into labor like this is happening he kept dismissing her saying no you're not false contractions um just basically ignored her that's so ridiculous especially if you are actually due why would it yeah why would a partner ever be like no you're not in labor Wait, is she pregnant? Yeah. No, she wasn't.

But that's very important information. She must be. So as her contractions intensified, he decided it was the perfect time to go and get his beard done. So he went and got it like shaped and cut and trimmed. Because he wanted to look good for the birth too. Then he decided he was hungry. So he went and got lunch, got fast food, didn't get takeaway,

sat down to eat it. So it wasn't in a rush to get there. So she's ended up going to the hospital and she gave birth without him. She ended up having to give birth alone. He didn't even make it to the birth. Yep. Then it gets better. He said, I have to go home and rest because it's important that one of us is rested.

So he went home because he said he needed to keep his strength up. God knows for what, what to eat the Chinese food. He then spent all of his time on the phone, didn't help, shunned all responsibilities, like just a wanker. And people are coming out in droves with their stories. And I know, I remember you had a labor story, Laura. Oh, my God, I have a labour story, but my husband is an absolute saint. Like, if that is something that your partner is doing during labour,

like, leave him. They shouldn't be your partner. Did they break up? They broke up? I don't think so. A lot of people are commenting saying, like, why are you still with him? So I don't know if they've broken up now. I don't follow her.

You almost can't tell a story like that and then follow it up with, oh, yeah, and we're still together. Like, what a horrible partner. And the caption says what it's like giving birth with a narcissistic partner. So you'd hope they're not together. I reckon they're over. That's so rank. Like my, no, my husband, he was an amazing birth partner.

Like he was actually very, very good. But I was induced. So we didn't kind of know what to expect. So I rocked up at the hospital that day for the induction thinking I was going to go home. So I rocked up with no bag, no nothing. Because I hadn't. That's strange, Laura. They hadn't told me anything.

I didn't realize. And I'd been bounced around a few different healthcare workers. So I think they'd just kind of forgotten that really important piece of information. So I rocked up and they're like, wow, you're traveling light. And I was like, what do you mean? They're like, well, you're having a baby today. And I thought I was just being induced and I would come back once labor started. But anyway, we were so unprepared.

I stayed. Matt's mom went home and like got all my stuff. And then I was in labor for such a long time, but I could feel like it was getting closer. How long was your labor? I was like eight hours, not a long, long time, but like it was an eight hour labor. And I could feel that I was like pretty ready to go. And I was like, I think I'm going to have a baby pretty soon. And Matt was like, oh, do you think I have time to go get a chicken sandwich?

Probably not, Matt. Probably not. And I was like, I don't think you do. And he was like, I'll just duck down. And I was like, are you going to risk it? He was like, I'll be quick. And he ran down and got a chicken wrap. As you are birthing your child.

And I was nine centimetres dilated. No, I wasn't birthing it. He made it. He was there for every step of the way, but he didn't. With his chicken sandwich. He did risk it for that chicken wrap because he'd been waiting for eight hours and left just at the last minute to be like, I need some sustenance to make it through the birth.

I think that's fine. Is it? Yes, of course that's fine. Like sitting back watching a movie, like as you're giving birth, He's just like with his popcorn and his chicken sandwich. No, he just can't handle it. He didn't like the blood and he just didn't want to be down the business end. Like it wasn't for him.

And I was the opposite. I was like, I'm sorry, if I'm doing the birthing, get down the business end. You're going to cut that umbilical cord. I think I was a bit of a drill sergeant. Oh, we've got a caller. Hey, Linda. What happened to you in labour? Yeah, so my first labour, my husband, the nurses brought in a chicken parmigiana.

So he sat over there eating his chicken parmigiana while I was contracting and pushing away. and it's not even something you can eat with your hands yeah so they've just come in and open the door as um you know fred eagle and um yeah they've just said you want your lunch now and he sort of looked at me and i'm like you do you mate thinking he'll be like nah nah nah you know i'd be like if i'm not eating you're not eating my sister just gave birth for the first first time and i turned up the next day to visit them in the baby and there's my brother-in-law kurt the father of remi having a high tea with a little finger sandwich with a cucumber and mayonnaise and pickled egg.

And I go, where's Becky? He's like, I don't know. She's getting some sort of fixing ups done. And he was sitting there drinking tea out of China. It's very exhausting for the blokes, isn't it? All right. Well, listen, we are done for the day. This is our final week on air for 2024.

We have $500 cash to end the week and end the year here at The Pickup. So thank you for listening to Spend at Canvas Warehouse. So if you want it, you can head to our Instagram, the win page on pickup.com.au and we'll give you that cash later in the week. Happy New Year to you guys. a Merry Christmas.

You guys are amazing. Merry Christmas. Thanks, Linda. I hope she realises she's not getting that money. She's not winning that. No. But she could enter.

Producer Grace Tilly, we'll send her a book or something. I'll send her something toasty. I need to, I'm actually mortified, girls. What have you done? No. Just generally speaking.

No, this is bad. This is bad. You say this every week. No. Every week, Mitch. This is my undoing. Okay. I'm actually mortified

and I haven't replied to my parents yet. We have a group chat. As you know, I'm 29, very young, successful. I live at home. That's where the success ends. That's where it starts and ends. Yeah, and begins and sadly finishes.

I have a group chat called Housemates, which is me, my sister Rachel, and my parents. That's really cute. Housemates. I like that. A message comes through to Housemates this morning. As we know on this show, we have revealed that my parents do make my bed sometimes, and that is because they know

that I like freshly made sheets, so they do it as like a surprise. You've had a big week. We've done your bed sheets for you. So mum made my bed, and she sent me a text. And she said, hey, what has gone on here? So have a look at this photo. I don't want to. So this is my bedsheets.

This is the bedsheet that goes over the mattress. And for context. A fitted sheet. Yeah, a fitted sheet. I'm in a relationship. We're still in that phase where we're getting lots going on. So I actually think what's happened is I've worn through the sheet. The sheet has holes in it?

Yeah. From holding on? From friction? No, from friction, I think. They're friction. shit. They're friction. Knee friction spots. Oh my god. They're not knee friction spots. Yes they are.

That's a pair of knees. They're next to each other. Why are my knees in the middle of the bed? Maybe someone else's knees. How do you explain that to your mother? Well that's exactly right. I don't know. I need to come up with something to say. Oh you have it written back. No I literally got it like an hour and a half ago. I know what

you can say. You blame the moths always. Moths put holes in clothes and sheets all the time. So just say you've been sleeping with moths. Unless those moths came from the Jurassic era, I don't think that that's going to fly. What are you going to say, Laura? I don't know.

I think you could say the moths. But can you rub through bed sheets? Well, you have. I think you've answered your own question. This is okay. Like, I mean. I've not ever rubbed through a bed sheet. I'm all for you living at home.

I have nothing negative to say about it. But there is a line, and that line should be your parents still making your bed. Like, you're 29. If you're going to rub through. Grow up. If you're going to rub through your bedsheets. Say it with a straight face.

If you're going to rub. I'll say it. If you're going to rub through your bedsheets, Mitch. If you're going to rub another man through your bedsheets, your mum should not be making your bed. Or at least pull the blanket up so she can't see the evidence. Pass me. I want to show you one more.

Don't scroll, Laura. You don't scroll through someone's phone ever. Who are you? Sorry, I was reading the messages from your mum. Laura, don't read through those. Yeah, Laura's reading private messages. That's so rude. It's very rude.

So what should I just say? They just say, sorry, guys, moth. Just send the gif. Just send a picture of a moth, can you? Just like a picture. What's the really big moth? Bogon. The giant moth.

Yeah, I'll say, sorry, Bogon moth. I think you just say you were trying to remake your bed and you put your knee through it. You put your knee through the sheet. The sheets, they're wearing down. They're old. Go the moth. Trust me.

And then you can say, mum, it's because I don't know how to make a bed because you always do it for me. Guilt them, guilt them. Yeah, good idea. Yeah, blame your mum. Gaslight them and say it was dad. Yeah. Or you just say it was already there.

With Steve. Sorry, that was weird. You guys do this on your hugely popular podcast, Life Uncut, every week. Yeah, we do Ask Uncut where listeners write in or call up with their biggest, darkest problem. But today's is a bit different. We're not going to be answering a problem. Today we've got what we call an Ask Uncut Aftermath. Yeah.

It is where we have answered your question before and you are going to call up and tell us how it went, how it went down. A couple of weeks ago, remember, girls, we had Liz on the show and she told us that she found out her brother's dad is actually her best friend's mum. Her brother's dad is her best friend's mum? That's not what happened. I'm pretty sure.

What's that? Her brother's dad is actually her mum's best friend. Insane. Here's the moment if you missed it. In a nutshell, my mum passed away about four months ago and I started going through her belongings and I came across her diary. In the diary, she writes that my younger brother,

who's two years younger than me, is actually not my father's biological son, but my father's best friend's son. Only they don't know that they're father and son. Drama. Liz returns for an update. Welcome to The Pickup, Liz. Hello.

Hello. How are you? Hi, Liz. Okay. Usually like an ask uncut happens and then we kind of just go on with our merry lives. but this is one that we thought about all the time and we were all talking about whether or not

you had the conversation and what happened. What did you do, Liz? Well, I was very appreciative of the advice I got from you and when my brother came home, I went over to his house with my mother's diary and I just said, look, I've got something super big to kind of show you. I'm just going to show you.

I can't even tell you. And I gave it to him and he read it and tears just started coming down his face. And he said, oh my God. He said, I've always felt connected to him in this weird way and I just didn't know ever what it was. We were just so connected. So we decided we would go and tell him together.

So we went over there and, I mean, mind you, this is like, he actually turned 85 yesterday. So this is an elderly man. He only ever had one child but they've passed away now, which means he has no living children. So we went over there and we told him the story. we gave him the journal so he could see it in my mother's handwriting and he just broke down and sobbed.

Oh, bless. And he said, this is the best day of my life. He said, I have been alive for 85 years and he said, this is a miracle. He said, this is better than what I could ever have dreamt the end of my life would come to. Oh, stop crying. That is amazing. But it was a 50-year secret that my mother held and it came out

And it's been the most beautiful thing. And my brother is actually going to invite him to come and live with him. Oh, my goodness. Wow. It's just thank you so much for all of you for your advice because I don't know that I would have had the courage to step forward and do it. You're so welcome. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

Did he have any clue at all? Like was there any inkling or was it – did he give you an idea of what that relationship looked like between your mum and him, you know, in terms of like was it a one-night stand? Did they have a relationship? Oh, no. They always had something for each other. It just makes so much sense now, the time that they spent together

and how close they were. And when my father passed away, he stepped in and was caring for my mum, but he'd married by that stage. And I think he just thought he never got married. He was married very late in life. So I think he was maybe always waiting for my mum, but then my dad passed away and he was already remarried. So I felt like they missed each other.

I'm so happy for you guys. Thanks for calling up, Liz. You've made our day. Oh, thank you guys so much. You made, honestly, you've made this man's dream come true. And what a good note to end the year on. That's our last Ask Uncut for 2024. I wish we got more aftermaths.

Usually, I don't think they end as well as that one does. Why don't we get the woman on who said she kept falling in love with gay men and see what the update is there. She married a gay man. Got nothing else to add there. She's still single. Probably. So earlier in the week, we were talking about this TikToker

that's going bonkers online at the moment. She was talking about her labour experience and all the horrific things that her partner did, or I should say didn't do. He was lazy, wasn't he? He was terrible. So basically he missed the birth of his child because he wanted to go and get a beard trim

and he went to get McDonald's and he sat and ate, like he didn't even get takeaway, he ate there. He missed the birth. Ate in the food court. He dined in. Yeah, he was just a jerk off. And so our phones have been going off chops the last couple of days with people calling up

to talk about what their partner did while they're in labour. Oh, I got so many messages too. I know you did a lot. I was like, people were like, hey, this is more common than you think. Well, I mean, I felt bad because I told a story about how I was nine centimetres dilated and my husband then ran out to go get a chicken sandwich.

But he's not a jerk. No, and he didn't miss the bird. No. Okay. You've got to listen to some of these stories. Yeah, Rachel's called us. What happened while you were giving labour? Spill.

Yes, very, very upsetting story. So I was in labour and I'd bought specific snacks because I was thinking I'm going to need sugar, you know, some protein, everything that you need to get through, you know, many, many hours. Yeah. And so one of those snacks in particular that I was super keen for was some red licorice, that sugar that you just need. And when I went to have some, my husband had eaten all of it.

He didn't. No way. Daisy, what happened to you during birth? Hi. Hi. Yes, I called my husband to tell him he should probably start start the two-hour drive to the hospital and he said, oh, I just need to feed the cattle quickly before I leave.

He had to feed our cows before he left. He had to feed the cows? Because it's about 200 kilometres away. So, yeah, I was like, no worries. It shouldn't be, you know, I shouldn't have the baby in sort of the two hours and it was a very quick birth and he missed the whole thing. Surely the cows could wait a couple of hours.

Like, those cows are not fading away. But maybe he was going to then stay at the hospital for a few days and he was worried that the cows would go hungry. My parents-in-law do live quite close, so they probably could have done it. Would he, if he hadn't fed the cows, would he have made it in time? Yes, because he missed it by about half an hour. Oh, no, that's terrible. Oh, well, at least the cows are well fed.

Stacey, hey, hey, what happened to you? They're the most important. They are. Moo. During Labor, Stacey, what happened to you? Stacey? Oh, hello. Hello.

Are you in labour right now, Stacey? Negative. I'm waiting for a chicken and avocado sandwich. Okay, Maddie J. Goodbye. That's funny. First funny joke all year. What do you want to say, girlfriend?

Sorry, did you just say that was hilarious? Thanks. I was mid-push and my husband looked at me and was like, you're pooing yourself. Literally what he said. And I looked at him like, you could just be telling me anything else but that right now. and I looked at the midwife and the midwife was like,

yeah, it's true. And I'm like, you can both just shut up. I don't think they need to double down on it. Also, that's not your problem. That's their problem. Get over it. You're trying to push a baby out. It's very normal.

This is natural. Also, you guys might not know this, but when you're giving birth, they tell you to push into your bum hole. They tell you to push like you're doing a poo. They tell you to push into your bum hole? So they tell you to push, like the pushing sensation of having a baby

is the same pushing sensation as going to the toilet. So they tell you to push like you're pushing a poo out. So that's why a lot of women also push a poo out. Yeah, but to your husband, like, okay, Captain Obvious, you don't need to point out that I'm shooting out nuggets. I'm aware of what's happening. Listen, you know what? You give men a lot of flack.

I'll defend the men for a second here. Of course you would. We don't know what it's like. It's a shared experience. We don't know. We can't relate. We're doing our best. If you accidentally pooed yourself in the street and you knew you pooed yourself,

would you want me to come up and be like, ha-ha, you pooed yourself? No. To be fair. That's an unfair comparison. It really is. If Mitch just for absolutely no reason crapped his jacks, I think I would. There might have been a reason.

We don't know. You never know. You and your analogies. They never cease to amaze me. Your mind is a real prism. Do you know what we've been doing every single day now? Going crazy? Tell us.

The pick-up radio show? No, every day it's Christmas carols in the car, in the house, everywhere, all the time because the kids want to listen to Christmas carols and they are. That's cute. It is very cute. I mean, but there's only so many. So, like, they do.

Mariah Carey, Buble, on repeat. On repeat all the time. We're in the car yesterday, though, and there is one Christmas song which Marley, my five-year-old, thinks has some questionable lyrics. So, you know the song Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree? Oh, by Brenda Lee. Oh, what a banger. I say that like I know her.

I was like, how do you know that? Everyone knows Brenda Lee. Yes. This is in Home Alone. It's in Christmas in the Cranks. Home Alone. Your kids felt that? I mean, not well, but yes.

It's a hard song to sing. This is a banger of a Christmas song, right? And we were playing it, like, full ball in the car, everyone's singing along, and then Marley, she goes, Mummy, turn the music down. I was like, what? Yeah. What?

And she goes, she needs to stop and do some sit-ups. What? So we have this rule in our household that if someone says a bad word, Well, as in like Matt or myself says a bad word that we have to do some sit-ups or some push-ups, like punishment for swearing instead of having a swear jar. I was like, what are you talking about? And she was like, the woman's singing. She's saying a bad word.

I was like, what? Anyway, I round her back and I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And then she's like, yeah, mom, it's the F word. And I was like, what are you saying? Anyway, it turns out and have a listen to this because I couldn't hear it at first. And then the more I paid attention to it, the more I was like, oh, my God, Marley could be right. So you know how she sings, maybe we'll have some pumpkin pie?

Oh. This part, ready? Later we'll have some pumpkin pie. Wow. It actually sounds like the F word. So my five-year-old thinks that later we'll have some F-ing pie. Later we'll have some pumpkin pie. No, I hear pumpkin.

It actually, it 100% sounds like the F word. Do you hear F and pie? I don't hear it. I think if I think about it, I can hear pumpkin. Okay. If you listen, though, I feel like it's one of those words. You know, like the, what is it, the green needle firestorm. There's this piece of audio that's viral on socials at the moment.

And whatever you're thinking is the words that you'll hear. It's not viral now. It's been around for about 25 years. All right. Well, I just found the internet, so leave me alone. No, but I realised with this song that if I'm thinking pumpkin pie, I hear pumpkin pie. If I'm thinking the effing pie, I hear effing pie.

One more time, Mitch. Okay, pie. So pick one. It sort of is. If you train yourself for the P, you hear P. All right, now F, you hear F. Everyone think of the ruder option. Everyone just like meditate on the effing pie.

Ready? No, I hear pumpkin. No, it's the F word. I reckon she did that intentionally. I think someone once did her dirty with her pie at Christmas and she wrote that song. But you can hear it, Britt. Yes, I've said that 25 times.

I don't know how else to say it. Wait, what? You know when everyone hears Empire State of Mind and instead of Brittie? Concrete jungle where dreams are made of. People hear concrete jungle or wet dream tomato. Yeah. Do you know what I hear now? What?

Pumpkin pie, wet dreams, tomatoes. That's what I hear. No one else hears that. That's one of your worst jokes ever. It's not a joke. That's what I heard because now I'm the one thinking it's pumpkin pie. Okay. I think we all need to get our brains checked or our hearing checked.

Look, I don't know how. Now we can't play that song anymore because she's convinced. She thinks it has a swear word in it. I don't think it's the worst thing. Later we'll have some pumpkin pie. Also, who's having pumpkin pie? Americans. Are they?

Oh, my God. Sorry. Who's having effing pie? Americans. It is The Pick Up, Brit, Laura and Mitch for the last time. The very last time. The very last time ever. That's so weird to say.

I'll never say that again, guys. No, don't say that, Mitch. No, I know I won't. We're the three best friends that anyone ever had and will always have. Yep. So if you missed it a few weeks ago, we announced that due to some financial reasons, I wasn't able to continue in the new year. So I am not returning on The Pick Up on my other shows in 2025.

I'm done. So this is my last day. This is my last show. The Pick Up will be back, you girls, but it's just the two of you. I won't be there. So this is it. I mean, we've only seen a little part of what your story has been here at the network. And I just want to say the person that you have become in the past three years of being on this show from when we started and the insecurities that you had and the things that you used to worry about and the person that you were to the person that you are today is

completely chalk and cheese. We could not be more proud of you and everything that you've achieved in the last three years and everything that we've gotten to do together as a trio, yeah, your friendship means the world to us. And I have said this to you, Mitch, from the day that I met you, that you are going to do such big things. If it's anything like what you have done in the last decade. This is, Mitch, nine years of here and producer Grace and us put together this little package.

Some of the highlights. A little walk down memory lane of Mitch, the one and only Mitch Turi. Hit it. It's been a journey on the pick-up with Britt, Laura and Mitch. Bull of a Nicky, bull of a Tiki. I'm not well on the head. We know. Woo!

I fell over! It all started back in 2015 when a young Mitch Turi realised his dream of becoming a radio announcer. He was the coffee boy, then the cash cock. The cash cock is standing by out the front of someone's house right now. Hi, guys, I'm in Borkham Hills and it's bloody freezing. I actually don't think she's prepared for the c**k this early in the morning. We never are.

Before he met Britt and Laura, and the rest was history. I've written a song that perfectly introduces Laura, Britt and myself to the audience listening now. Let's roll the track. This is The Pickup, the song performed by yours truly. Here's the story of a lovely lady who we met only six years ago. When did I do that? The blurb of our dreams. Maddie met Laura on our screen.

This is awful. And now they have two beautiful girls. Oh, it's the story. Oh, keep going. You're a lovely lady who we met being dumped on TV. Thanks, thank you. Said goodbye to our honey badger. Now look it back and stab the dagger.

Our beautiful Brit was single once again. That doesn't even rhyme. Let's go to a break. He was always good at pushing the girls right to their limits. I was at a kid's birthday party. Kate comes out and we're all singing happy birthday to this little kid. Never met him in my life. But the birthday boy's sitting at the head of the table

and then he goes to blow out the candles and the candles go out. But it's not because of his breath. It's because of the spit! I feel like when you're a parent, you've constantly got some sort of bodily fluid from your child or someone else's child on you anyway. So you would eat the spit-covered cake? Oh, I eat the spit-covered cake every weekend.

It's the best part of the birthday party. It's not for me. It was just like a guy was up all night making a greens chocolate cake. And now you've got to eat it. It's so bad. Swallow it. I want more. It doesn't count unless it goes down the hatchet.

And took us on the ups and downs of his dating life. Moved back home almost a year ago in July last year. It means that my new partner has to come over and stay over. We had a wedding. We got home at about 1am and we got into bed. We start kissing. So I go to, like, get up out of the bed. I'm on my back.

I try to sit up. I put my head on the bed head. I'm like, babe, did you move the bed back from the wall? He goes, no, I didn't move the bed. While we were out, someone has come into my bedroom and moved the bed. Your mum? Because clearly we're causing a ruckus. Grace, could you get Mark Ture on the phone?

Do not call my dad. I can't do this. No, I'm walking out of the studio. Don't. Stop it. Hello, Mark Ture. Hi, Mark. It's Laura calling.

So Mitch just shared a story about how he came home. From the wedding on the weekend and somebody had moved the bed away from the wall. Was that you? My wife says to me, oh, Mitch, you want clean sheets. So we actually went down and made his f***ing bed for you. However, I'm very conscious that there is a rumour going around that that bed head was working overtime.

Oh! They made your bed, you child. Oh. Brit, Laura and Mitch are more than just a radio show. They're actually really great friends. You guys know I'm getting married next year in 2025 and I have a special request. Mitch, you've been one of my best friends for a few years.

We spend so much time together here at radio, outside of radio. You're very important to me. I would like to officially ask you, would you do the honour of emceeing my wedding? Oh, my God, why am I upset? Is that a yes or are you crying? Yes, I'm crying. Mitch has done more than 1,000 radio shows.

In fact, I did the maths and he's done 1,366 radio shows, which means he's clocked up more than 4,000 hours on your airwaves. He has had such a bright impact on the pick-up and we love him more than anything. Mitch, we love you so much. We love you so much. You're a star, honey. Thank you, guys.

That was very nice. Thanks for including the part where it says that I have sex so people know that I'm out here. Yeah. Also the part where your dad knows about it too. Yeah, he's across it. He really is. I think before we go, can I just say thank you to the listeners who,

the audience who have been listening to me for almost a decade, like a thousand shows. Like I'm so lucky to do that. It's such a great gig. It's so good. I've lived my best, my best life and I got to live my dream. This job is the best thing in the world and it's been the privilege of my life to work alongside you too.

It has been our incredible privilege to work alongside you, Mitch. Yeah, thank you. And you know that we're all like homing pigeons. We'll find our way back. Yeah, let's stop using homing pigeons, I think. No, my nuns do. Producer Grace, I love you. Thank you for everything.

Come on, guys. Let's go. Let's go. We love you, Mitch Shuri. Goodbye, Pika. You are the superstar of the airwaves. We love you, Mitch. Thank you, Elizabeth.

Merry Christmas, everybody. Oh, song stop. Maybe I should have been fired. See ya. Bye. Bye. We'll be right back.