Life Uncut - The Best Of The PickUp - What got stuck in you?

Episode Date: October 6, 2024

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. On the show:  Lana Del Ray and her Alligator tour guide husband Shot gun weddings What got stuck in you Mitch's pitches  You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. I'm Mitch. And this is The Pickup where we package up all the best bits

from our radio show and we bring them here to you, the lifers. We had some banging segments this week. I'm very proud of something that I contributed to this week. What got stuck in you? What got stuck in you? It escalated, but as you can imagine. It went south. Yeah, really south into the butthole.

Have you guys, butt play, like it really, things, once you kind of go in, if you go a little too far. It's a vacuum. Oh, wow, jinx. It's a vacuum vortex. It's scary, isn't it? And then it closes right back up and you're locked in there. Britt, what was it as an anaesthetist?

What was the... As a cardiothoracic surgeon. What was the way to pull it out, like with forceps? No, you have to operate. Yeah, it's surgery. It gets so far up there, there's no coming back from them. And because it's too dangerous, it can perforate your bowel. Perforate is like where it literally will rip it open.

And that's disaster. Which is also why if you're ever going to use any butt toys, please make sure it has a flared base coming to you from butt toys representative you got something stuck up there no i'm bedazzled for everyone no i was horrified i mean obviously we're not going to tell you all the things that were found inside people seven different people called us about finding potatoes they were all health care workers and seven different individual calls around potatoes being found inside people's assholes it makes sense it's healthy it's biodegradable Well, it's cheap and it's smooth.

Also, I think I can see the thought process of, I could probably poop this out. Yeah, worst case. Or it'll biodegrade or something. You squeeze it out, yeah. Don't try that at home. It does not work. Washed or unwashed, do you think it was?

Laura, that's disgusting. It'd be absolutely washed. Washed. You'd hope so. All right, anyway, okay, another thing that we talked about this week. You guys probably know, very, very happy celebration. We love love. Lana Del Rey has just married her alligator boyfriend.

He's not an alligator. He's a tour guide. You heard it here first. they've just gotten married. Now we were talking about shotgun weddings, very fast from like dating to marriage, which from the outset, I know they've been or they've known each other since 2019. But they have only been publicly together for the last month. And now they are married. And so we spoke to some of you guys and to some calls on radio, who had very quickly after dating gotten married to their partners. And they were pretty much all success stories. Yeah. Also, I explained how I was

humbled via Facebook Marketplace this week. Humbled? Humbled. What happened? Well, I invited someone into my house and then moments later, after a very normal transaction, so I thought, I received one of the worst messages you could get after selling something to someone online.

What, it doesn't work? The second worst message. I want my money back? The third. Okay, she sent me something that pissed me off. Basically. Okay, all that and so much more coming up on the show. Hey, you guys know Lana Del Rey, Brit and Laura? This is a story I am so invested in.

Yeah, it's a bizarre story, Reddy. Lana, focusing on her music career for the last few decades. Superstar. Oh, she's incredible. And she's arguably at the peak of her career. She did Headline Coachella a few months ago. She's everywhere. She was nominated for Album of the Year at the Grammys.

Lana is huge. Now, after a month of dating this weekend, Lana Del Rey married, alligated to a guide, Jeremy Dufresne. According to People Magazine, it was a small outdoor ceremony in Louisiana in the Bayou where Dunfreen works as an alligator tour guide. So there were alligators at the wedding?

Ring bearer? Ring bearer and alligator? Ring bearer, flower gator. In close proximity. Ring gator. But I like, because I remember when this article or this like story first hit the headlines and everyone was kind of like trying to figure out

whether they were or weren't dating, whether it was real. Because it sounds like fake news. Lana Del Rey marrying an alligator tour guide. It sounds like it can't be real. But apparently they met in 2019. So that's when they first met. But they've only been publicly dating for one month

and then they tied the knot in swamp marshland. I reckon she must have had a solid prenup, right? Like if you're, I don't think alligator tour guides are on par with Lana Del Rey, like album of the year. That's quick. I know you've known each other since 2019. Maybe there was a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes for the last couple of years and people just didn't know about it.

But if you're marrying after a month and you are as loaded as Lana Del Rey, I would be hoping there's a prenup. I'm also a big Lana fan and this is very Lana Del Rey. Like all her music is about old Hollywood men. She wants a traditional strong man. Alligators scream Lana Del Rey. Okay, I disagree. You're kind of like saying that this was relatable.

We were talking about this earlier and Mitch is like, it's so relatable. Like she's like the relatable one of the people. There is nothing relatable about marrying an alligator tour guide. No, no, no. I don't think the wedding itself is relatable. Yeah, but her whole vibe is that she's a celebrity but she's like goes through the normal emotions that we all go through.

I don't know. Everyone's been saying it's not going to work out because it's such a... Snappy wedding. Yeah, it's such a, like, shotgun wedding, but also because they're obviously from such two different worlds. He was married... Oh, no, sorry, he was engaged before.

So he had a fiancée, her name was Kelly, and Kelly Welsh has been coming out and talking all over the tabloids. Yeah. So she was engaged for 12 years to this guy. And then he's gone on to marry Lana Del Rey after being engaged for only one month. Yeah, but of course you're going to... One month.

Lana Del Rey. You're going to speed that up. You're like, lock it down before she changes her mind. Do you want some facts about the wedding? Picture this. Mosquito. The wedding took place under a white tent in Swampland in Louisiana. Swampland.

Yeah, that's nothing screams romance like swamps. They had the fan boats surrounding the sort of arches at the end. What's a fan boat? Well, that's how you get around on the bayous. The boat with the fan that pushes. Sorry, I thought you meant it was just a boat full of fans. No, and apparently, no photos have emerged. Yes, they have.

I've seen them. The fans were on and they were blowing her veil. I've seen the photos. We have the photos here. That's a pixel. It actually looks so, I don't want to yuck anyone's yarn, but it looks so unromantic. Yeah, but you know what?

She's walking down a swamp. If she's happy, I'm happy. 100%. Lana Del Rey, I love her. Good for her. We do love Lana, but also I don't think it's necessarily the beginning of the end just because it seems a little bit like a shotgun wedding.

And I want to hear the happy stories. You know, I once worked with a woman who she got engaged after dating her partner, boyfriend, whatever they met online. They were dating for seven days. They went and got married and they've been together for 14 years now. 14 years. Who would have thought, hey? I don't think there's a textbook for any of this stuff.

I think if love is love. I think if you feel it, go forth with a prenup. We're taking your calls because Lana Del Rey was married over the weekend to her alligator hunting husband. He's not a hunter. He's a tour guide. He runs tour guides. Yeah, he's going to text the gators.

Look, lots of people have been coming out and saying that they don't think that the relationship is going to work because it feels like a shotgun marriage. We only found out a month ago that they were dating. But look, now they're married. Okay, so what we wanted is, we just wanted to know if you've been dating your partner for a very short period of time and then you rushed to the altar, what happened?

Are you still together? Was it a good idea? Emily's joining us. Emily, firstly, before you tell us if you're still together, how long did you know each other before marriage? We knew each other for three months before we got married. Three months. Okay, how long before you got engaged?

See, we'd met each other and then three months later married. So it was about like two months after we got engaged and then got married. Wow. How long have you been together for now? If they are. All right. We've been together 24 years. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, it works. I know. Yay, Lana, the magic of Lana. Wait, really important question. Are you happy? I am. I'm so happy. I don't recommend it to everyone, but it worked out for us.

Okay, good. Happy for you, Emily. We're getting a lot of calls, girls. Tracy, hey, talk to us. How long did it take to get engaged? Are you still together? I met my husband when I was 21, and we were both 21. Four and a half months later, we got engaged.

Ten months after that, we got married. And this Thursday, we will celebrate our 32nd anniversary. That's incredible. What's the secret? oh gosh I think just if you know you know yes still married and I look back now and I think at 21 like we freaked out our parents are like you know it's a bit quick and it's like you know but we love each other and we want to get married and now that I have adult children at like 27 and 29 if they said that at 21 I'd be like what the hell Tracy this is why I asked because when people

say you know you know I mean obviously I'm happily married now I have a wonderful husband but But I thought I knew when I was in my 20s and I would have married someone who was terrible for me. Yeah. You know? Well, the ridiculous part is, and I don't know, this probably makes me sound lame, but this was my first proper boyfriend. Oh, that's beautiful.

It doesn't make you lame. It's also a different time. Like back then. We got married in 1992, so that's like an eon ago. It's also – That was when Mitch was born. I wasn't even born. No, you weren't.

No, I wasn't alive. No, but also it's different people. Like it's so personal. There's no one blanket rule that marks over. Laura, you were 21. I'm sorry. Your frontal lobe was jelly. It wasn't even cooked in.

Yeah, and I really liked men who couldn't be faithful. That was my type, my kind. All right, we have one more. Jessie's joining us on the line. Hello. Thank you, Trace. Happy anniversary. Jessie, talk to us.

How long were you engaged for? And he's still together. Well, it's not me, but my dad's side of the family have a history of getting engaged really fast. So my grandparents got engaged after 24 hours of knowing each other across one year. 24 hours? Right.

And then my auntie and uncle got engaged after five days. What? And my cousin got engaged after a 48-hour first date. Oh, my God. So it's genetic. How many of these were happy relationships? All three. That's amazing.

When you said it was kind of a family thing, I thought maybe religious. No, no. Here I am engaged after 12 years of dating. Oh, you bust the trends. It's not completely genetic. So good. Well, there you go. Love is love at the end of the day.

And who cares? My mum and dad, I'm just going to add this in there. My mum and dad met on the one night over dinner as a set up, knew that night that they were going to be together for the rest of their life and in a couple of days it's their 47th wedding anniversary. Wow. That's beautiful. It's so wholesome.

Britt, Laura, you know that I'm a Facebook marketplace fiend. Yes. You spend way too much money on there and way too much time on there. Well, I love to sell things. It's a really handy way to sell stuff for quick cash, right? And I'm in a rehabilitation era because I've spoken on the show before that I was banned from Marketplace due to low ratings consistently. No, that was because you were also trolling people with fake accounts.

No, I had to make a fake Facebook account because I was blocked from the Mitch Turi Facebook account because I sold something to someone and she said, I know you from the radio. You were so rude. Look, I'm in my good era. Mitch, I wouldn't – don't tell people that. It's embarrassing. Transparency is key.

It's what my therapist tells me. Vulnerability. Totally. Okay, what happened? I sold a milk frother, smeg, quality, 100 bucks cash, paid 300, great deal for Margaret. I bet you it was broken. I get the notification, Margaret, hey, can I buy this?

Yeah, I can come today, 10 minutes away. Brilliant, bring cash. She went, done, Mitch. Amazing. She knocks on my door. She's there. My dog runs out of the front door and I go, oh, my God, hold on. Come inside.

I've got to get the dog inside. Like it was kind of a bit of a. Yeah, that's your first error is you never invite a marketplace person into your house. I know and I didn't plan on it. It was early in the morning and so she came in. I closed the door because of the dog. Locked her in. We had a chat. No, no. We had a chat for like three minutes. She was talking about the house, talking about the dog. And then

she goes, all right, I'm going to go. See ya. I go, see ya, Margaret. She leaves cash in hand. Done deal. Right? So you would think. I then get a notification to my phone 10 minutes later that reads this. It's from Margaret. Thank you very much for the froth image. By the way, I'm a cleaner. If someday you need a service, I'm more than welcome. She's like, I saw the inside of your house, you dirty pig. She's like, I know how to make an extra buck from this guy because he is living in a brothel. Not even an extra buck.

She didn't say, here's my business, here are my rates. She thinks she's Shelly Craft on Domestic Blitz and she's like, I'm going to give back to this downtrodden, filthy pig. No, it wasn't a give back. She was going to charge you, but she just wanted to clean your pig pen. You know on the block when someone's gravely ill and they go, Scotty Cam goes, tools down, we're doing it for free. That's what she was doing.

This happened to me yesterday, Mitch. I went to my cafe, the cafe that I go to. Your cafe? Oh, you're doing well? My local cafe with Delilah, my dog. And I walked in there and these guys at the cafe know me very well. They've known us for a long time. And I walked in and they were like, hey, did you want to take one of these pamphlets?

And I was like, oh, what is it? They were like, it's for a dog trainer. It was the same thing. This is akin to like a backhanded compliment though, right? And I get them in DMs on Instagram quite a bit. So I reckon this is one of my most frequented replies from people. So I'll post something of like the girls running around the house, the kids, Like there's the dog and the cat and like a thing of washing over there.

I've seen it. And people, yeah, it's not, look, my house is not the cleanest. So I sympathise with you on that, Mitch. But I often have other mums write to me and they go, oh, Laura, watching your stories just makes me feel so normal. My house is a pigsty too. Thanks. I thought it was clean today.

That's why I shared it. No, you should see it on a Wednesday before it gets clean. People are awful. And the worst part about this is it's my parents' house. So my mum was, when I told mum, she was gutted because it was my birthday two days before and she had the full house cleaned. Yeah, but this is also your fault. Your parents keep the house clean.

I would blame you. She's upset because she still has a grown child living there making a mess. A 29-year-old, I know, for my birthday. Mum's like, you know, probably time to keep that moving. Fly in the coop. Seriously, mum wants to be out of the house now. She should start charging you rent, I reckon. Like, you're probably at that point where you could start contributing.

The segment you guys have all been waiting for. What got stuck in you? I've never heard of anything more outrageous. Yeah, this isn't the one I've been waiting for. Isn't it? Nope. Let me set up where this came from. There's a man in Arizona in the USA who is going a bit bonkers online at the moment for

what he found inside of him that has been in there for 26 years. Yeah. Have a listen. I was a kid playing with my Legos and I don't know, I just thought maybe I could just stick it in my nose. Now, mind you, I said that was when I was about six years old. today i was blowing my nose in the shower and lo and behold i blew out a lego dot that has been in my nose for at least 26 years i can breathe out of this side of my nose now and it's fantastic i

haven't been able to do that since i was a child that's crazy it would have been so sticky it's like a vintage piece of lego the lego is almost as old as you mitch yeah totally how was it stuck in there for so how did he never sneeze it out or like do you know my daughter Marley she's five when she was three months old I brushed too close past a rose bush when she was in a carrier and she got a rose thorn in her thigh and it is still there to this day five years old you can see it under the skin that she has this little black rose thorn that's there and I've taken to the doctors and they were like leave it we could pick it out it's going to hurt her more than what like good it is just leave it in there wow so she's got a little rose in her I mean I worked

in a hospital for 13 years so i was a diagnostic radiographer we've seen some things inside people well i'm the person that when something gets stuck in someone i need to find it like that's literally my job to see where it is and what it is and i can tell you the things that i have seen stuck inside people what's the number one what's the wildest thing you found inside a human okay i'll give you three things that are all very different number one a lot of things go in the butt right to rattle off a few um a toilet brush yeah it checks i can say that the bristly no the bristly end you're kidding no the bristly end there's no pleasure in a pool ball i get a pool ball it's smooth it's ivory yes but how is it gonna come out a bit of you know a bit of

well this is the thing was they don't come out that's why they're in the hospital it's like a vacuum it is that's actually how it works yeah we've seen cars deodorant um like there are so many things i've seen things that i actually can't even talk about here laura's called hey laura i have not called this is your laura burn using a not an alias what got stuck in you or did you find something stuck in someone hey guys um it wasn't me it was someone that i worked with stuck in her no it was someone else um she had a bug stuck in her ear a little tiny bug and um she didn't know what it was until she went to the doctors and they're like yeah you've got a bug stuck in your ear and she could hear it moving and making like little sounds and yeah i think it

goes in your ear when you're sleeping yeah i've heard that i've heard that everyone's wearing earplugs um all right jen gen gen jen jen sorry what's spelled g-e-n i don't know hello again what did you get stuck in there um so it didn't get stuck in me i was in the hospital recovering from an ankle surgery and i had come out and there was this lady opposite me and she had her hand up in like a sling and she had um cactus spikes like full-grown cactus spikes in her wrist but she had never gotten a cactus in her but she had lots of cactus plants in her house and get this like three months prior to the surgery like when I was there um she had one night where she was she had a couple drinks and she was dancing around her apartment and she thinks she might have like

scraped one of them but it didn't go in like you know you'd know it's like a huge cactus spike went in and like it came up as like a little splinter there was like five cactus spikes that had grown inside her wrist and i don't feel like many people know about this wow oh i don't think it's what an interesting story good for her well there you go people will put anything inside them they won't That's what I've learnt today. Yeah, you be careful out there, Mitch. Voluntarily and involuntarily.

You be careful out there, people. Listen, this is the last segment of the last show of The Pick Up all week. Which is why we let Mitch have a little bit more airtime right now. Yeah. Yeah, because we've tried to hold it off all week. They have. It's back after a seven-week break. Give it up.

It's about, it's about time. The Mitch Pitch. We have daily planning meetings for this show, The Pick Up, every day. We all do an email, we all jump on a call, Zoom, we all chat about what we're going to talk about every day. I love to give ideas. I'm one of those people that thinks more is merrier. I give a lot and the girls go, no, no, no, more often than you think.

So I collate all the no's and I bring them in one segment of the Mitch Pitch and try to get them off the ground. It really does beg to question when things like what got stuck in you makes it over the line but the things that Mitch pitches don't make it over the line. All right, just calm down. All right, what have you got for us? Is rent due for Robert Irwin?

What do you mean? Clearly he needs to. Australia Zoo must be struggling because that kid is on everything. He's doing an ad for Purina. He's in Northern Territory Tourism. He's the face of Durex. He's the face of Kleenex. He's on I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.

Love him. He's great. But you can say no to a gig, Rob. I think he's just making hay while the sun shines. The sun for him is going to shine for a very long time. Yeah, but he's obviously getting a lot of opportunities right now and so he's hot property and he's doing them. Sometimes a no is just as powerful as a yes.

Why do you hate Robert Irwin? I love the kid. He's been on the show many times and he's welcome, but he'll say yes, so let's invite him. All right, next. Is it impossible to stop the chicken juices from leaking through the whole bag when you buy a barbecue chicken? Absolutely not.

No, it is not. What? It doesn't matter what you do. You could wrap that up in Glad Wrap. That chicken juice is getting out. You buy chicken and everything else and you're getting the washing detergent out of the bag covered in chicken oil. You go...

It needs a separate bag and then it still leaks. We need to fix up the bag that they put those chickens in. All right, let's get cold on the line. Do you think that that's a break, though? Do you think it's a segment, like the unpacking of the chicken juice saga? We could do a test. We could put a chicken, we could put a barbecue chicken in your leather bag and you drive home and see if it gets all through your bits.

Sorry. Let's move on. What's next on the pitch? Do we all let deja vu off the hook? What the hell is that thing? So apparently it's when your short-term memory and your long-term memory get confused. But I have deja vu a lot and I think maybe I'm just psychic. I think it's like we've lived a past life and it's a memory from the life we've lived before that comes through sometimes.

Yes, but I think we need to really federally investigate this. We all have these moments of, whoa, I've been here and we all go, meh, like, what is going on? That is fair because it is a weird thing when you know you haven't been somewhere and you're like, wow, that just hit me in the face. But I think it has been investigated and there's been studies that have been shown it's your short-term memory and your long-term memory getting confused. I think it's a past life. Like it's a crossed wire in your brain. I was at deja vu being bored. What?

Did you say deja vu being bored? That's what he said. Oh, shut up, Mitch. Does anyone else remember floating down the stairs as a kid? Floating? Yeah, did you ever, like, you were so small and you were so light that you'd run down a flight of stairs, but you were so small that you would just glide over the tips of the stairs.

I didn't have stairs. I was a single story girl. Your kids is just a me thing? I never floated downstairs, Mitch. Maybe that was when you were deja vu-ing from your past life. You're actually a ghost. Can we discuss the fact that fight or flight, it's not an option. What do you mean, Mitch?

Well, everyone goes, hey, you fight or flight. If you got mugged in the street, would you fight or would you run away? It's a biological function. You don't choose. You don't go, hmm, I'm feeling fight. It's your amygdala. It's your fear center in your brain. What did you call me?

An amygdala. You know what I mean? Fight or flight. People talk about it as if it's a choice. Yeah, it's your parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system, to be honest. And you can train them. You can hone them. Are any of these sticking with you guys?

No, I don't want to expand them into full breaks. One final one. All right, what have you got for us? The doctors with their pre-recorded messages. If this is an emergency, please hang up. No, I'm calling to get my test done. This isn't an emergency. It is or it isn't?

It's not an emergency. You don't need to tell us if it's an emergency. Hang up because I wouldn't be calling my GP if I was bleeding out. Mitch, I think the reason why they had that there is because I'm sure there has been someone at some point in time who has called that clinic or called a clinic thinking maybe this isn't, maybe it's not, you know, it's because people sometimes second guess whether it is or isn't an emergency and they don't want to call triple zero.

You brought the goods today. I will say that. I would approve every single one of those segments except the call centre. Okay, well, that's pretty good. How are you going to flesh any of those out into full segments? I feel like talking about them for 10 seconds on radio was too much. Okay, reptile girl. Oh, I love a reptile park.

Talk about that. Point exactly. Deja vu though. we should talk about that see ya you got me on that one