Life Uncut - The Best Of The PickUp - Will you be my Strava mule?

Episode Date: September 1, 2024

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. On the show:  Mitch has beef with Delilah Gen Alpha slang Strava scams A little Mecca mishap  Petty Revenge A special message on Father's Day See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. I'm Mitch. And this is The Pickup.

It's actually not Lifehunker. It is our radio show where we package up all the best bits of the week. We put it here for you in case you didn't listen to the radio. What a wholesome week it was. We had our fathers on for Father's Day, which I thought was really cute. Our dads are kind of unhinged. Actually, similar energy from Tony Hockley and Mark Turi. I didn't call my dad.

I called Matt. But that's because, like, I don't know. Terry Byrne, he's a real wild card. I don't know how he would go on radio, to be honest. Is he still in Magnetic Island? Yeah, he lives on an island. There's no Wi-Fi. No, you can call him, but, like, if you get him on a good day

or a bad day, I just don't know what he would say and whether it would be radio appropriate. In fact, why didn't we do it? It actually would have been great radio. Because Laura vetoed it. She was like, no. It's like Terry Byrne doesn't want to be on the radio. He moved to Magnetic Island to be away from people.

He doesn't want to be broadcast on a national show. And to save the koalas. Yeah. Why is it called Magnetic Island? I'm so glad that you asked, Mitch. I told someone this recently. So when Captain Cook first... Oh, God.

Not him. Good one, Mitch. It's true. When Captain Cook first went past the island, he thought that the compass on his compass was affected by the granite or something that's in the mountain, and now it's never been confirmed whether it's true or not, but there's been loads of reports that it has pulled ships off track.

Really? There you go. Like a magnet. Science and history. That's quite cool. How has that never been reported? Surely you'd know if a ship got pulled into the island. If you've never been to Maggie Island,

this is now a podcast that promotes Magnetic Island. It's the effing coolest place ever. Like it's so beautiful. It is like it's caught in a time warp from the 50s. And the massive granite boulders that are all around the island is like what they think has, you know, affected the magnetic pull of the island. Isn't that crazy?

Do you ever think whatever happened to Bermuda Triangle? Like everyone was really stressed out by it and then all of a sudden no one disappeared on it. Well, because no one goes near it now. I don't think that's true. It's true. Everyone avoids it, like the plane. I don't think people are avoiding it.

I just think it was fake. Bermuda Triangle, quicksand. Oh, yeah. These were all things that we thought about. Guys, quicksand is also real. No, I don't know if they're real. It's real, but it's not a danger. They're real, but I grew up being genuinely frightened

that those things would be things I would encounter in my life. I have never encountered the Bermuda Triangle and I have never encountered quicksand. Quicksand's scary. I've been in like quick mud at the beach. It's actually frightening because the more you move, the more it sucks. I was just trying to Google if it was real.

Good time, Mitch. I was going to say, I really enjoyed that, bitch. didn't even buy me dinner anyway yeah now brit yeah you look beautiful what do you want why don't you say you look beautiful no and now you're gonna follow it up with asking me for something i'm just trying to buddy you up because on the show this week you're here i gave you i gave you my full comprehensive review of house sitting because i house sat your house while you're in bali and i house dogged dog sat you didn't house dog you dog i dog watched delilah you were in the dog house after my review of a dog sitting delilah i think brit was out to get

me so you'll hear that in the show this week yeah i don't have any more delilah she's had she copped some shit yeah no i agree i agree sometimes i'm the one that's given to that shtick but she has copped it quite a bit can i tell you my boyfriend steven adored that dog he cared for that dog like it was his own spawn he would get up he'd brush her he suckled her on his teeth nothing that was me i told you that in private he loves her he messaged me only like an hour after because he and i text all the time now just so you know you message him yeah i know you think that you you're in with my fiance, Ben, and you guys text. Well, I also text your boyfriend, Stephen, all about you.

What did you text him? No, he messaged me actually and said, it's only been an hour, but I already really miss Delilah. It was really cute. And that's the sort of love I need when I have someone house-sitting, not you, who just wants money and complains the whole time. I ran out of toilet paper on your toilet and I had to use a Kleenex, like I had to use like a dead hole wipe on my butt because that was all.

Did it burn? Yeah, it was awful. That would have been the most hygienic your ass has been in so long though, bitch. Probably not wrong. Look, another thing we spoke about is you guys, if you're a runner or you have a runner in your family, you will know this Strava. It's like what everyone logs their runs in. It's become like quite a popular app and people not only do they log their runs, they put them on the internet, on social media. They gloat about their exceptional running abilities.

I think it's nothing worse. I know. And that's my husband, Matt. He's always posting his Strava runs. I've got Matt on there. And people send him likes and stuff to tell him. It's called kudos. Kudos to you for your good run.

If they don't do likes on Strava, it's kudos. No, I don't have one. Anyway, there's something out there which is called a Strava Mule and it is the most ridiculous scam you have ever heard of, ever. It's just so stupid to me, but Mitch thinks it's quite ingenious. I think it's very smart. The other thing we're talking about is something that gives me more pleasure than it should.

It's petty revenge. You know those revenge stories that it's not even real revenge, it's just dumb and funny. They're the best kind of revenge stories. So off the back of a story that a woman got her own petty revenge in China, which we do talk about, we get some calls for your best Petty Revengers and it was very funny. All right, well, all that and some other things

that we talked about on the show this week coming up now. Now, you may have heard on the show last week, Brittany Hockley went away for the weekend. I house sat her house. Laura, I've done this before. You've done nothing but complain about it since. Can you give me a break? I actually haven't.

I was a good house sitter. You also didn't tell me that you were getting paid for it, so I thought you were doing it out of the goodness of your own heart. But paid you to house sit. Let me peek behind the curtain. When you're playing a radio show, they go, girls, this is how it's going to go.

They go, no worries, that's how it's going to go. And then now it's all of a sudden some sort of prank patrol thing. I only want to add one thing before I hear what you have to say. I did you a favour. Can I say, you paid me 50% of the rate you normally pay your house sitter

and also your dog sitter because I house sat for Australia's most petulant dog. Australia's most divine dog. She's so pretty, but she has pretty privilege. She doesn't know she's got pretty privilege. Sorry, Mitch, continue.

Let me just give you a review on house sitting and dog sitting for Brittany Hockley and Brit's dog, Delilah. It's true what we've said. We've had experts on this show trying to cure Delilah of whatever ailment she's got. Brit's dog, Delilah. Whatever ailment, whatever pretty privilege she's got. Brit's dog, Delilah, has been through three dog walkers

that have all resigned. It's like the Boeing crisis. They've all mysteriously disappeared, all the whistleblowers. No, you are severely exaggerating. Two dog walkers. There was two of them, not three. They had been with her for years. And unfortunately, they had to go a different way.

She had one off week. Hormones. Continue. It was her hormones. Continue. Please. Walking Delilah through the dog park is a literal hell. That dog is, there's something going on.

That dog is smart. I think that dog is the Zodiac killer. It has got a look in its eyes. It knows more things than I know. It would get a higher ATAR than I would. If it sat the NAPLAN, it'd be above state average. I'd agree with that. No, my favourite thing about Delilah is that if you are taking her for a walk,

you have to take her for a walk with two separate balls so that you can always have her on rotation. Oh, yeah, it's like a sushi train. Yeah, you have to keep her going, otherwise she gets fixated on other people's balls. You want to know what it's like walking Delilah? She's not like a Cavuto where you clip her on the lead and you walk her. No.

You have to get a hip harness, like I'm in Cirque du Soleil. I clip a harness around my belt. No, it's like you're going to go wakeboarding. No, it's like trying to walk a ferret on acid. That's what it is. Then there's a strap that goes underneath your legs and clips up in the middle like a seatbelt on like a roller coaster. Then you've got a bum bag, which, by the way,

is a designer leather bag that you sling over your shoulder, which has two balls in it, treats that are respective to Delilah's dietary requirements. And then you have a ball thrower that is mechanical that folds down into two parts so you can keep it in your pocket. Then you've got to put Delilah's waterproof harness on. Mitch, I'm getting the feeling that you didn't enjoy it. Well, sorry, where's the problem come in?

This is the problem. This is live audio of me at the dog park with Delilah. If you've ever wanted to know what it feels like to walk Brit's famous dog, Delilah, this is, close your eyes, this is a little ASMR role play. Delilah, sit. Delilah. Delilah. God, she's running out of the park.

Sorry, I'm so sorry. Delilah. Oh, my God, I'm sorry. There's people everywhere. You're very dramatic. Now she's running out of the park. I have actually lost Brit's dog. People are watching.

I've genuinely lost Brittany Hocker's dog. You've lost my dog, yeah? Delilah! Oh, there she is. Got her. I've got her. Found her. Oh, now she's run through mud.

She's run through. She has genuinely run. She loves mud. She's run through a pile of mud. Oh, there's a giggle. Oh, my God. Get here now. Come here.

Delilah. She's out of breath. This is a problem. I've lost her again. Delilah! I don't see a problem. It sounds like she had a great time at the park. She had a great time at the park.

That sounds like she was. I could hear that in her panting. I thought that was Mitch panting. No, that was the dog. Oh, was it you, Mitch? It was me. Look, the thing with Delilah is in her defense, she is not, and we joke about it a lot here, she's not a bad dog at all,

but she's selective with her listening. So she knows everything that you want her to do. She knows exactly what you're saying, but if she doesn't feel like it, she won't do it. She's disobedient is what my mind says. That's the word I was looking for. She knows how to do it, just chooses not to. No, it's selective hearing.

She sounds like a mother. I'll never do it for you again. Also, I've sent you my BSB and account details. Please transfer the funds. Well, I'm not going to transfer it now. You just shamed my dog on national radio. You think I'm going to pay you for that? I'll see you in court.

Also, I did steal some Prada sunnies, so I think we're even. I know, Prada sunnies and all my food out of the fridge and a bottle of gin. And you slept in my bed. You took a bottle of gin? She said I could drink it. No, you did not. I did not.

It was half empty. He just took it home. Mitch, you're always talking about how you're a Gen Z-er and you know more about the younger population than what we do. No, people just look at me and they go, what glass skin that youthful boy has. How does he have a radio show at the age of six? Pretty sure no one has ever said that.

Okay, I didn't even realise, but the younger, the generation that's even younger than you is the alpha gen. Like if you're an eight or nine or ten-year-old, you're an alpha gen. Yeah, because Gen Z is at the end of the alphabet and it resets and goes back up to A. There is a school in Australia that has banned a list of alpha-specific words and I heard these words and I don't even think, well, they're definitely not English,

but I have no idea what they mean and I will put money on the fact that you guys will have no idea what these words mean either. Why has the school banned words that a younger generation use? Like, isn't this normal where we develop our own slang at school

and then we take that into the world? I think the issue is, is that like these eight-year-olds out there are speaking with words that are so far from the English language or dictionary. Like the words don't actually mean anything at all. And a lot of the teachers have no idea what they're saying because they've got their own little language.

So it's to benefit the teachers. Yeah, so instead of them trying to understand and, like, learn the words, they've just put up a list in this school and banned them. Also, just speak English, I guess. Like, we're learning English. Do you have the list, Laura? Yeah, I do. I want to quiz you guys on it.

I want to see how good and how in touch you are with the... I'm doing a quiz. With the AlphaGen. All right, here we go. You didn't need to sing. She does it all the time. But I wanted to. It felt good in my bones.

Get to the quiz. All right, question number one. Word number one. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. What does bussin' mean? You have to spell it. B-U-S-S-I-N. B-U-S-S-I-N.

Oh, you've got to get the bus to school? Like, are you bussin' today? Are you bussin' in? Nah, it doesn't mean that. You're so old. Bussin', bussin', yeah, that's not right. Bussin' means it's like, it's really good. It's great.

It's bussin'. I think it's to do with food, though, mostly. Well, at least the internet told me that. Yeah, that food be bussin'. It's like juicy, moist, delicious, yum food. All right. What about this one? Wait, did I get it right?

Yeah. Ding. Okay. Word number two. Cap. Cap. Hey, guys. No cap, no play.

All right. No, it means lie. Cap is a lie. Yes. Thank you. Mitch for sure Googled these because his boyfriend's 21. All right. He's 22.

He's not an alpha. That's cap. Question number three. Drip. Oh, I think I got this one. If you drip. Yeah. If you're dripping, baby, you're, like, layered up in gold necklaces,

you're dripping with coolness. No. Drip is your fit, your outfit. Yeah, it's, like, your sense of style. Yeah, that's exactly what I just said. Word for word. Okay. What about thinner?

Thinner? Thinner. F-I-N-N-A. I reckon that is, like, hey, are you thinner your test? Did you finish it? You are so old. that's a good guess but it's not

and it means like I'm going to I'm gonna Mitch how do you know this how actually do you know this it's concerning because we're talking

about preschoolers I'm just chronically online so like for an example of this was I'm a thinner out because I need to go to bed so I'm gonna go I'm finna freak out

oh my god that's so dumb I hate this alright we have another one Ohio yeah it is a state in America yeah I agree

what is Ohio I actually don't know is it Ohio. Jesus Christ. Brit needs to be cancelled. What is it? Ohio means to like weirdly flirt or it's a bit cringy flirting.

Like when someone's flirting with you and you don't like it. I've never heard of that. Apparently. You should have heard about it. That's your whole line. Very last one I have. Skibbity. Pardon me?

Skibbity. I think you're saying it wrong. I don't know. I think skibbity means gibberish. Oh, skibbity. I reckon it means like hurry up. Like come on, skibbity. This whole segment needs to skibbity.

I agree. Skibbity is a word that I think even the internet is confused on because I looked up several sources and it means either dumb or cool or wacky. It is literally just a made-up word that the kids don't even know what it actually means. It means lots of things. This segment is skibbity.

Well done. I think Mitch won that. It was the worst game we've ever played, but Mitch won it and you were very out of touch with the alphas. I will happily lose that game every day of the week because it means I'm more intelligent. you know we've been speaking about scams a little bit on the show over the past couple of months it's been a few different times where scams arrive and you know you can fall victim to it at any time

but this is something that i don't think well it's true though you sound so old anybody listen on your mobile device you could get money taken from you yeah if ever we had sam fisher on the show the artist sam fisher and he even got scammed scam fisher watch your bank accounts everyone but also something you might also need to watch now not just your bank accounts watch your strava accounts now what's strava okay so running has become really popular recently and mitch i know you say what is strava but you are well across it because you are very active on the strava you want to see my strava app it's a running app that people use to log their runs i'm familiar with it because my husband is constantly logging his runs they've become

really big on social media. So people will post their runs. And it's kind of like partly to keep accountability. But then I also think it's partly to gloat about the fact that you've gone for a really big run. Oh, you went for a one hour and two minute walk, 6.57 kilometers and 6,952 steps. Yeah. And I've got kudos. How many of my running community friends have liked it? At Mitch Thurio on Strava. Oh, this is your 300th activity. Is that right? Oh, see, that's why I love Strava because I get little trophies. 300th activity. That's huge. Yeah. Or is it, Mitch? or is it your 300th activity? And I say this because it has just come out

that people are paying to have other people do their Strava runs. Now, hear me out. There's this guy, Velko, who's come out and he said that he is a Strava mule. People pay him to wear the Apple Watch or to log into their Strava account, do the run so that they can get all the glory for it.

Have a listen to this. This is a hard video to make, but I have to confess that for over a year now, I have been a Strava mule. So basically, somebody will pay me to run a race with their Strava account on my phone. Today's actually a slow mule day. This is a guy who's probably going to run a 240 marathon, but he keeps posting slow times. So then when he does run the marathon, his friends will be like, what?

No way. That's impossible. So this guy, he has run the Brooklyn Mile for someone who faked it on their Strava account just so that they could get the likes on Instagram. Wait, you're telling me it's just a Strava-spiracy? It's a Strava-spiracy. Strava-spiracy. You can go onto Fiverr, you can pay $25 for a premium run.

That's someone running like 20 kilometres for you. You can log all the activity. You can log all of the benefits. None of the calories burnt, mind you. But all your friends will think that you've actually had a really efficient Strava run. But it's so dumb. The only, I'm going to sound old, the only person you're cheating is yourself. You get addicted because like you saw on my app, you get rewarded for consistent posting.

So if you don't post or you don't run one out of seven days, you'll lose your streak. You have to have your streak. The reward is great, but you shouldn't be getting a reward for something you're not doing. No, if you don't run, there are things in my life that I would pay someone to do. I would pay someone, I'd say, $20 to make my bed with fresh linen for me.

The fitted sheet, I'd pay someone to do with that one. Oh, yeah. I would pay somebody to register my car. Like, you know when it comes to car registration time, it's like getting all the slips, the green slips, the pink slips, getting it checked out. Insurance. Oh, for me, it's just like someone go and do it.

That's what Matt does for me. That's a husband. I don't have one. He takes care of all those things. Okay, rub salt in the wound. I would pay someone to shave my legs because I don't do it because I can't be bothered. I'll shave my legs.

But how much? For $10? Would you? For a crisp $10 note, I would shave. Would you really? For $15, I'd do everything. What about a bank transfer instead of cash? We'll do it on air.

I'll bring a razor. I shaved my partner. I've shaved him. How far over? Where you go, Mitch? No comment. She likes Brazilian. It's like, can I get a fade?

Can I get a lightning bolt landing split? Sure. All right, so we've just been talking about this new trend that's happening, Strava, which, I mean, Strava's not the trend, but people are paying individuals to go on their Strava runs, like to take their Apple Watches or to take their mobile phones, to log into the Strava app and do their runs for them so that they can show that they're friends,

that they're actually doing these amazing runs. And keep their streaks up. Yeah, Strava mules. They're a Strava mule. And now we ask the question, if you could pay someone to do something for you that you don't really want to do, What would you pay them for?

Yeah. I said shave my legs. I thought of a new one in the ads in the song. I would pay, I'd have a private chef. I'd love that. Damn it, I was just about to say that because I detest cooking. But I feel like they're the things that normal people would pay for, right? You can pay for a chef.

You can pay for a cleaner. Paying someone to do your Strava runs seems really unnecessary. And the fact that they're called mules, like poor El Chapo had actual drug mules. We've got health mules. We've got health mules. Chloe's called us. Hi, what would you pay someone to do? I would pay someone to park my car, particularly in the city.

Is that called valet? If you're going to the city. No, but if you're going to the city and just having to think of where to park so that you don't get towed or you don't get a parking ticket. I don't understand the stress around parking. My boyfriend, Stephen, cannot park, makes me, we swap. If he's driving, I get out and have to reverse parallel park for him because it makes him so stressed.

There is nothing sexier than someone who can park a car well. Really? Who just like puts the hand on the back of the head of the car rest, turns around, can reverse park. There is not a car park that I cannot park in. Yeah, you're good. I've always looked at you and thought, God, that's a sexy car park. April, what about you?

What would you pay someone to do for you? I would pay someone to respond to all my missed calls and texts. Yes, that's what a PA. I would also pay someone to do that. You can do that, Laura. It's true. You have the capabilities. You haven't even seen this recently.

I have. Read it. Oh, I've got to find it. Everyone go. Britt, Laura. Yeah, mine's bad. Okay, I encourage everyone to do this. I have 377 unread messages.

What? Yeah, and 15,000 unread emails in one email account. The other email account has about 25,000. I can't even find my message app anymore. I have 377 messages. Why do you not open them, Britt? These people are trying to get on. I just get anxiety now.

I'm like, they'll circle back. I've got five unread texts and that gives me anxiety. I have 522. Texts. Unread text. You're not that busy. I hate to break it to you. You're not the Queen of Sheba, mate.

It's bad, Laurie. If anyone would like to get paid to answer my text messages, I'll pay you 10 cents a text. And shave your legs. And shave my legs simultaneously. Yeah, hey, two birds, one shaver. Yeah, it's at least two birds, one shaver. I mean, it's a full year.

I think I've seen that video. Girls, I've come up with a heist, right? You know how everyone's into fragrances at the moment? Fancy, expensive fragrances. When did this become a thing again? It's TikTok. You know, everyone wants to try them. Damn, TikTok.

Damn, TikTok got me good. My boyfriend, Stephen, wants this Tom Ford cherry fragrance. Beautiful. Very nice. So expensive. Yeah, it's an expensive fragrance. Anyway, I came up with this grand plan to go to a bunch of different, like, fragrance stores at the local shopping centre and get a 10ml sample

at all the different stores. So then after five different stores, we got 50ml and then it's free. And then what, you poured them into something and made your own little concoction? You could, but then you have to buy the bottle, then you're kind of cutting your losses. The amount of effort that is required to do this. Yeah, but you also know you're at the point of a relationship

that's really comfortable when I'm okay telling him that that's the plan. That's what you want to do, yeah. Yeah, because any other boyfriend would be like, babe, let me buy you this. But you didn't. You're like, I want to give you the gift you've always wanted, but I don't want it enough to pay for it. So I'm like, go around and steal $10. Mitch, if I have said it once, I've said it 10 times on this show,

you are a tight ass. I know. So Karma got a bag because we were at one store. We were at a Mecca, right? A Mecca do gorgeous. They've got everything, right? So I was waiting for this lady to get me my 10ml sample, which is very demoralising because all they do is get the actual bottle

and into this little tiny bottle in front of you. Do they? Yeah, so she's there going into this bottle and Stephen and I are wandering around the store, trying on all the different samples. And we see this, like, super expensive hand care cream, like a moisturiser right for your hand. And it's in this metal tube, this metallic tube.

It's, like, 30 centimetres tall. It's gorgeous. It would be a couple of hundred bucks. And Stephen says to the lady, can I try this? And she goes, it's a sample. You can try whatever you want. But I don't know if you'd want to try that one. And he's like, oh, no, I'll try.

So he gets this hand cream and he pours it all over the back of his palms. And you know how you get both your palms together, flatten them together, moisturize in the middle of the store. And then he goes, oh, gosh, Mitch, this is like menthol. Like it's hot. And I'm like, oh, really? Maybe it's like deep heat or something. He's like, no, it's like really hot and gritty.

Like it's exfoliating. And he goes to the lady, is this exfoliating? Is this getting rid of all my dead skin? And she went, let me have a look. No, that's toothpaste. He's put toothpaste on his hands. The lady is store manager, so she freaks out. She's clearly just had fresh WH&S training.

So she goes, we need to get you to the emergency basin to wash your hands because she's afraid that he'll get, like, the second-degree Colgate burn or something. What, toothpaste burn? Yeah. So, you know, in the chemical factories where they've got the emergency eyewash station, she grabs Stephen by the arm, pulls him to this and washes his hands in the sink and gets all suddy

and washes it up. If you can go in your mouth and on your lips and you're fine. I'm also imagining you just like being pulled over and all she sees in your bag is all your 15 different samples that you've stolen of your Tom Ford perfume. Well, that's what I was worried because we were causing all this ruckus. This reminds me of a story a girlfriend told recently where she went and she had a pap smear done.

And like, you know, when you have a pap smear done, they lubricate like the duck billy thing that they stick in you, right? And so then she goes afterwards and she goes, oh, I'm just going to use the hand sanitizer. And she puts the hand sanitizer on her hands and she rubs it in. And then she's like, this hand sanitizer won't rub in. And she's still standing there trying to rub it in and the doctor turned around and he goes, sweetheart, that's lubricant.

That's definitely not going to rub in. So stupid. You can't laugh, Britt. Remember when you put hairspray on your armpits because you used a lot of deodorant? And then I put deodorant in my hair. I got the hairspray and the deodorant mixed up. I burnt my underarms with hairspray and then they stuck together. Let's go.

It's a Wednesday Pick Up staple, Pick Up, Put Down. I'm going to give you, Britt and Laura, a topic, a news story that the world is talking about. You decide whether we continue talking about it, we pick it up, or we stop talking about it, we put it down. Yeah, all the really exciting stuff that's been going down in the news, hey? Oh, no, you're going to love this. I know you two are going to love this.

The news yesterday that has really stopped the nation, and that is the band Oasis reuniting Pick It Up or Put It Down. Three, two, one, go. Pick It Up. Oh, what a banger! Okay, turn it off before we stop singing. Oasis is an institution, and I know, Mitch, embarrassingly for you, you don't know who they are, you don't know their music,

but they're one of the biggest bands of all time, and they're one of those bands that just had hit after hit after hit. Like, they were not a one-hit wonder. No, no. And if you're a millennial, you know that. I did research, so they're brothers, right? the brothers who were in Oasis, they had a massive falling out, didn't talk for years and years and years.

I didn't even know that. I like that you had to research this. I had no idea. Yep, Noel and Liam Gallagher, they did not talk for years. And everyone's like, wow, they must be back together. They must be friends. Well, no. The speculation is today that because Noel just got divorced

from his second wife in a settlement that's cost him 20 million pounds. He needs money. He needs money. So they don't really like each other, but he's like, mate, we've got to do this. I always find it so interesting when family members, you know, just stop getting along. Moving on. Pick up, put down, calling old people oldies. I need context. Pick it up. I read this article. Yeah, it's a viral TikTok. An American woman who

lives in Australia has revealed that the Australian slang oldies, we all say oldies for old people, would offend people back in the States. My Americans, brace yourself for this, because this would never, ever fly in America. People literally call elderly people oldies. like they call them oldies and they talk about them like oh yeah those are the oldies so that's where the oldies go and it's not really at least what i've seen offensive here whereas in america i swear saying that you're old let alone calling you an oldie would send people through the roof it's not offensive but it's certainly not a compliment is it i mean actually we should probably ask the oldies as to whether it is offensive or not oh yeah girls is it offensive

i think it's because i was about to say old is subjective um it's because you don't really in what context. I don't know if we say it to a lot of people's faces, but if in the way that she said, it's like, oh, you move into a home when you're an oldie. Like, I guess it's more a group together. I don't know. We say it in an endearing way. We don't have any maliciousness when we say it. No, but I feel like if we're going to take it a bit too seriously, which we probably shouldn't, it is a bit ageist if you're going to really unpack it. It's not because you age. We all age and you're old and you go into a retirement home.

Yeah, it's also an Aussie thing, Laura, to shorten a word. We shorten every word. We put an IE on the end of every word. Do you know that old and oldies, that's two syllables from one, that's certainly not shortening it. It's not shortening it, but we don't use the right terminology for anything. We slang everything. All right, pick up, put down, naked quitting. Three, two, one.

Put it down. Put it down. Yeah, it's trending on quit talk, hashtag quit talk. Naked quitting is essentially telling your boss to shove it and quitting without having another gig lined up. I think that this sounds very aspirational. It would be great if you're in a position and you're unhappy in your job to be able to just quit, stick it to the man, walk out and not have to care about it. But I think

that that is such a privileged position for some people to be in because I think most people have to worry about, well, where am I going to get an income from? So I think I saw this trending on TikTok. I saw it trending online. And I don't know if it's a very safe message because so many people, if they quit their jobs, would be absolutely screwed. There are people definitely quitting their jobs for content, like because this is taking off. People are filming. It's not just that they're quitting they're filming they're putting a phone down and filming themselves quitting online to their boss and i'm like how many of you are quitting with nowhere to go and no income just to film content you know crazy i feel like there's a certain type of person that

that would quit with nothing lined up laura you would never do it never you would do it you are that you are that you are a and b am i not wrong i did quit once and then buy a one-way ticket a week later sold everything i owned including my house to go on a one-way trip to brazil and i came back three years later. So yeah, I probably would. Yeah, but I also have two kids. So I'm not quitting because I have to put food on the table. You take them with you, mate. You don't just quit and flee the country. I think you've got the concept wrong. I'm going to pay for them. I have had a really good chuckle over this revenge, petty revenge article that's going viral online at the moment. I'm not a big revenge person, but when it's a bit, when it doesn't hurt

anyone's feelings or anything like that, I'm like, ha ha ha, funny. A woman in China went into a Louis Vuitton store. Very expensive, very fancy. And it comes with some assumptions that you should probably have a lot of money if you're in there. So she was walking around this store. She was asking for help from the staff members. And she said that there was a lot of eye rolling. They didn't really want to help her. Like pretty woman style. I guess pretty woman style. She didn't say specifically that it was the way she looked or that they were acting like she didn't have money. But that's the assumption, right? That she didn't belong in there. That's how she felt. That is so stupid how can you make that assumption based on someone people literally dress up like they're

homeless and actually they just own all of kanye's new range yeah it's you and your terrible shoes mitch i know that's my vibe but that's kind of the appeal not the appeal but that is kind of the shtick of those designer stores yeah but that's why what i mean like you can't just assume that someone can't afford something yes you cannot judge a book by its cover so she was left so unhappy about it she went away went to the bank and she came back with a friend like a personal assistant and she bought all of these things, right? Tried on all these clothes and bags and whatever, but took her time making them work for it. Then she put them on the counter and she gave them the money, which was $120,000, but she gave it to them in small cash. So they had to count for

hours, $120,000, but thinking they'd just made like this huge sale. In coins. So, yep. And so once it was in coins and cash, hours had gone past. Once they'd counted it all and they were ready to check out she said you know what I've actually changed my mind and she took all the money back and didn't buy a thing and that is and I think it's so funny it is so stupid imagine being that also if you're the person who works in the store as if you wouldn't say thank you we're so looking forward to you know serving you but go to the bank and change it over to real money you're not going to count dollar coins yes you can't 120,000 one dollar coins you if yes absolutely If you are working there and someone wants to pay that way,

there is no part of you that can tell them to go and bring back different cash. Not at $120. I also think who has the time to do this? If you're that petty, man, she's clearly too rich if she's got all the time in the world to go and annoy people. You know, the only revenge I can think of, and it's so embarrassingly stupid, is my ex.

I found out he was cheating on me for two years. I had this whole double life. And all I could think of to do was like when I was finally leaving his house was just to take all of his toilet paper so that next time he took a dump, he didn't have anything to wipe his butt. Oh, that's so good. But it's so dumb.

It's so dumb. That's so good. What's the point? When I broke up with my ex, there's cheating involved as well, I changed the rental bond. I had his bank details, right? So when we had to give the rental bond back

because we had a house together. You got all the money. Yeah, I got all the money. Oh, I like that. Oh, six grand rental bond. Yeah, that's like a more level of like the sort of petty revenge that I'm about. But also I like that we've all bonded

individually over our cheating exes. I also had a cheating ex and we were supposed to be going to the Philippines together and I bought the tickets. So in order to change the ticket into my friend's name so I could take my friend instead of my boyfriend at the time, I broke into his house, I took photos of his passport and then I forged his signature for Cebu Air.

And that was 10 years ago so I can't get in trouble for it now but it really happened. I took toilet paper and Laura's doing identity theft? My girlfriend and I had the best holiday ever. It was so good. Laura's like, yeah, I once hit someone with my car and I've never spoken about it. I buried him in my backyard.

Don't tell. To this day, I still think about what the look on his face would have been like when he rocked up to try and check in. It's my Roman Empire. That's a crime. Illegal. It's literally illegal. You've committed identity fraud.

It's not even petty revenge anymore. It's just revenge. No, it's criminal. Yeah, you're going to prison. If you're just joining us, welcome to The Pickup. We have been talking about petty revenge. There's this one woman in China who thought she was treated badly in a Louis Vuitton store.

She wanted to go drop some bank and they didn't give her the attention that she deserved, so she decided to leave and come back to buy, quote, unquote, $123,000 worth of goods. She made them count $123,000 of cash out with, like, coins and little money, so they spent hours counting it out. And then right at the last minute when it was time to go, she was like, oh, you know what? I've changed my mind.

I don't want the products anymore. She scooped all of her cash back and left the store. And she's like, I just wanted to teach them a lesson. And I'm like, bravo. I love that. I listened to that story and I'm like, firstly, who would have the time in their life? A very rich woman.

It took four hours to want to enact that sort of revenge. Like I want revenge to be convenient. I want it to benefit me, not take me more of it. Ask the question, when did you commit some petty revenge? Jenny, what happened to you? What did you do? Evil Jenny. so basically what i did was um i was in a relationship for two and a half years

and um then he knew i was really insecure about cheating and stuff like that and then he still cheated on me after that time so i thought the best way of revenge was something i saw online i'm not too sure not an original idea but i went on amazon and i bought a bunch of fake keys and a bunch of fake key tags and I wrote his first name and his phone number on the tag and I was living in Brisbane at the time and I would just go to random places and leave the keys there so what people would end up doing is giving him a call saying oh hey mate like I've got your keys I'm here at you know Chermside shopping center he'd be like oh no that's not my keys and then I did it with about 20 of them so he was probably getting calls throughout the next couple months

just saying, like, hey, mate, got your keys? And then he'd be like, I don't know what you're talking about. And they'd be like, yeah, your keys have your name and phone number on it. That's also so much work for you. Like, so much work to go and buy the keys and print them out and drop them off. I'm into revenge that takes no effort.

Yeah, I agree. Melissa, what did you do? What's your petty revenge? So I had this ex who, like, we were flatmates and then we were in a relationship and then he just told tons of shit. So then I'd moved out. Did some petty things like the toilet paper and things as well, I will admit,

but I think the best one that I did was he was really shit with his money and I had like his bank card details and I adopted an orangutan. It was about $12 a month and I just put his details there and, yeah, he's pretty shit with his money and I still get the emails that he has this orangutan over in Indonesia. It's actually so charitable. I love it. Like, he doesn't even know that he's keeping an orangutan alive.

I love that. Yeah, this is redemption. That's what that is. That's really funny. Absolutely. Absolutely. Do you get updates? Yeah, I get the emails about this orangutan,

and he's still paying the $12. And, yeah, this orangutan's just living his best life in Indonesia, thanks to my ex. Wow. Well, that's a win-win for everyone, I guess. Fiona, last one. What's your petty revenge story? Hello.

Yeah, hey, guys. Hi, Fiona. So, basically, my ex-best friend decided that she didn't want to be friends with me anymore and stole my Taylor Swift tickets that we had together. And we all know how hard it is to get those, so that's nice. Yeah, yeah. And to get my revenge on her, I told her fiancé that she was sleeping with his best friend all the time.

Was she cheating on him or did you make it up? No, she definitely was. Oh, my God. With multiple people, not just him, but yeah. See, I thought you made it up. I thought, that's evil. No, oh, my God, I would never make that up. No, no, no.

What happened? Did they stay together? Did they separate? No, they've separated. How did you know? Did she, like, girl code sisterhood of the travelling pants to you? She told me. Because the whole time, like, her and her fiancé were trying to set me up with this friend.

Meanwhile, she was sleeping with him. Oh, shake it off, girlfriend. She can't. She didn't get the ticket. That was a Taylor Swift joke. I got that. It was a bad one, Mitch. Yeah.

Good riddance. Wow, what's that? I know that. Britt, Laura, this weekend, Father's Day. It is Father's Day. And I think Father's Day is such an important day. And especially this year, in our family, we lost my stepdad this year. And so when and for a lot of people, I think it really makes you lean into how important it is to celebrate those moments with the people that you love. It's such an easy day to forget. And we were like, you know what, we want you all to remember.

And we also wanted to open it up and extend this to our amazing listeners. And for all of you who have great dads in your life who you want to celebrate as well so we did a little call out and we asked you guys to send us your happy father's day messages to all of the dads out there who you know might be listening to the pickup and we got some very very sweet calls we did you know this is cute this is my very first feature on radio was when i was nine i wrote in to richard wilkins and i gave my mama mother's day message on radio did you yeah and got her a thousand bucks cash i mean we don't have anything to give away but oh yeah that's That's why Richard got all that budget.

We're just giving away airtime and love. No, but that's for kids to hear themselves on the radio, like sending love to their dad. That's what doing a radio show is all about. Yeah, and we, I mean, to all of us in this room, our dads are all very, very important. I feel so grateful to be married to a man who is such an incredible dad and who has really taken to being a dad.

Like he loves it. Matt, my husband, he is such a phenomenal dad. And I think it's just such a nice moment to be able to celebrate the amazing men in our lives. Yeah. You've got Tony Hockley, Britt, your dad. My dad, I can't fault. He's just been the best dad since, believe it or not, the day I was born.

I don't get to see him on Father's Day because he lives five hours away, but I am seeing him one week later. So it'll be like a little delayed Father's Day. But my dad's one of those people that he just wants nothing except all his kids under one roof. Like that's the only present he says he ever wants. Yeah, I'm seeing Mark Turi. All he wants is a big barbecue with his kids and his active wear.

He wants active wear and a shirt. Trust me, I've got him a shirt. He's got his shirt. All right, let's roll this. This is you, the pick-up listeners. It's a message to the dads of Australia this Father's Day. Hi, Dad. Happy Father's Day.

We love you. And we know you love us more than the Colton Blues. Come on, the Blues. Love, Sina and Lockie. Happy Father's Day, Felipe, big dog. Happy Father's Day, Dad. I hope you have a great day. Happy Father's Day, Daddy.

I love it when you play AFL with me. Love, Archer. Happy Father's Day. Love, Tassie. I love Dada because I just love him. I love Daddy because he shares with me. It's so nice to hear. And, like, imagine the kids thinking that they just –

that's the ultimate present for their dad, to hear them on radio dedicating that to their dad. I love it. I mean, I don't know if you guys noticed, the last little ones were Marley and Lola shoved in there at the end. They were your kids. Not all of them. She's only got two.

Only got two. We had so many people write in with their beautiful messages. It's so sweet. We hope that you all have an incredible Father's Day this weekend. You're a showbiz family, man. They should have more happiness. They were so excited. No, Marley said, I love dad because I just love him so much.

It was very sweet. You're like, you don't get it, Marley. Give us a reason. And Lola said she loves her dad because she shares with him. And I was like, you've got this back to front, but that's okay. Yeah, it's fine. It's very sweet. Everyone, have a beautiful Father's Day with the men in your life who you love.

And to anybody out there who maybe lost their dad this year or who's doing Father's Day without the person that they love, we're all thinking of you. you