Life Uncut - The DNA Test That Found His Biological Father - Uncut with Ryan Jon Dunn

Episode Date: October 30, 2025

Today’s episode is on the more unhinged side of any of the previous interviews we’ve done. We guess it’s what happens when you put 3 yappers in a room together. Joining the podcast today is podcaster, radio broadcaster and dad Ryan Jon Dunn. Ryan is half of the Toni and Ryan podcast. We’ve had the pleasure of chatting with Ryan’s cohost Toni Lodge at one of our live shows and here on the podcast and we were well overdue to chat to Ryan, so when he slid into the DM’s it was a quick yes.  Today we wanted to chat with Ryan about his career and building the mammoth podcast that is Toni and Ryan, Ryan’s search for his biological parents and the experience of being an adoptee, and becoming a dad himself! We chat: Being dot-comrads “friends of the internet” Ryan shares the story about himself that will haunt him forever His ‘past life’ as an accountant before radio Why Ryan isn’t worried about ever going back to a ‘regular job’ Being adopted at 10 weeks old and his feelings towards his biological mother How an ancestry DNA test found his biological dad What it was like meeting him Finding out that his biological mother had passed away before he met her The grief of losing the opportunity of something  Ryan’s IVF journey Deciding whether they would share their kid on social media or not New guidelines with kids and content You can find more from Ryan at his:Instagram Tiktok Website We mentioned the AiMCO family influencer’s pack  You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Hosted by Britt Hockley & Keeshia Pettit  Produced by Keeshia Pettit Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford Recorded on Cammeraygal Land Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Keisha. And I am Brittany. And today joining us for the podcast is former Australian representative athlete, Ryan John. Ryan also happens to be half of the Tony and Ryan podcast, a radio broadcaster and a dad. We've had the pleasure of chatting with Ryan's co-host, Tony. She came to our Perth Live show, so you might have seen her live there, but she's also been on the podcast.

I would say the better half, but hey, prove us wrong, Ryan. I've actually learnt my place within the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is second for a reason, and that's fine. And when I said I was coming up here, because Tony's broken her foot, she can't travel at the moment, so she's in Melbourne. Can you not travel with a broken foot? She's in a moon boot, and she's had surgery, and she's fully cooked it. I feel like it's been broken for a year.

Well, she broke it and then we sent her back to Australia and then she went to a surgeon and then they went, oh, now you need surgery. So you kind of have to like start the recovery again. But when I said I was coming up to see you guys, she's like, well, I've already met them. I went on tour with them. I did the Perth show.

Tell them I said hi. And she was a real jerk about it. We love her. We love her. So we have like high expectations of what you're going to bring today. Can I be honest for a second? Yeah. My wife doesn't like you guys because.

Wow. Okay. Well, that's the wrap up. You know why? It's because she saw a picture. It might have been the two of you, like, at the beach, looking hot as fuck, wearing a bikini, and Bridget goes, oh, look at these hot girls, to be young again.

And I went, Bridget, I think they're the same age as us. I'm 38. Yeah, same as Bridget. And when she found out you guys were the same age, she was livid. She was like, she literally goes, oh, to be young again. And I was like, fuck, you're going to hate me. Somebody literally said to me, I met a 21-year-old, and I had met her partner before when she found out my age she literally said oh my god it's so

cute he has old friends she called me oh old friends I know we're at that age like I think that's where people younger people are calling us old do you feel old though no I feel 20 same I feel this is the conversation we have all the time right I'll be 39 next August so I'm just over 38 like 38 a bit and I keep saying I don't feel old enough to have kids and my fertility doctor is like you've almost aged yourself out you're on the other end bro like you need to wrap this up um what's that so we only Mabel's two years old so Bridget what's that word geriatric pregnancy yeah through all the IVF and they and the doctors come in everything oh geriatric hang on let me get this and it's like a different shot and a different doctor they go oh no there's an

old bitch in there hang on a sec love and it's just like and we're the same we feel really young which is double fucked because if you're using ivf it's more likely when we started trying we weren't geriatric when we started trying we were good you're like fuck you there's nothing more humbling than when someone calls you a geriatric pregnancy and you know they've lowered the age i think it's like 33 now it's pretty good oh it's 30 i thought it was 33 yeah it was 35 and i think they've taken it down a couple of notches we need to have a protest for this we need to change i I think it's based on science. But the name should change.

What would you call it, though? Golden Pregnancy. You know how they do, like, Golden Bachelor? No, that's, yeah. Golden, no, because your golden years are when you're, like, 19, you're about to die. But did you know when the Golden Girls from the 80s, like that old sitcom, they were, like, 45, 50 in that show.

No, they weren't. They were, because they did a side-by-side with, like, Sex and the City. I'm Googling it, yeah. And they're, like, this is Sarah Jessica Parker at the same age that Blanche was, and, like, they look 40 years apart. Yeah, they were meant to be in their 50s, I think, like young 50s. Rest in peace, Betty White.

She was amazing. How old are the Golden Girls in the show? At the start of the show, Sophia was 79. That's the mum. That's the mum. And then the other ones were 55 and 53. Blanche was 53. You're an actress by trade, aren't you?

Yeah, I have studied at NIDA and all around the world. So that means you're only, what, 15 years away from your golden era? Fuck you. What would I call it? Let's actually think about this because I, do you know what? Let's make this go viral. Let's change the term. I don't think we get to choose.

I don't think that you get to pick what goes viral and what doesn't. But if we say, let's make it go viral. So not to get all political with our good mate, Donald Trump, but I feel like his strategy is like, if you just say shit enough times, people just start believing it. Yeah. So why don't we just call it doing a Hockley? Hockley pregnancy.

Yeah. So when did you get pregnant? I did a Hockley. And that just means like. I can go multiple ways. Like you conceived by a Hockley? Tisha, if someone said to you, like if a friend came to you and said, I did a Hockley on the weekend, what would you assume that meant?

I would assume that it meant that you had plans and you cancelled them and you were at home watching a TV series with your dog. Oh, shame. Wow. What's doing Orion? I had Orion on the weekend. To be honest, I didn't want to laugh too hard at the doing a Hockley because cancelling on plans and staying home, like the last few,

Since COVID, like I used to go out and have a really fun time and then it's like you have to stay home and I liked it. And now since the doors have opened back up, I haven't. I've just stayed in. Your personality became more introverted. Also, we're like 10 minutes into this episode. We haven't even told you what we're going to talk about. We haven't started our walkthrough.

You've just proven the point of why they call us geriatric pregnancies. So we're trying to get pregnant but Ryan wouldn't shut the fuck up so we were sitting here for five years. I just want to tell everyone about the hospitality of Life on Cup before we get started. Yeah, go on. Keisha's like, come on onto the show. I was like, great.

She's like, I'll pick you up from the airport. I was like, great. And then 10 minutes later, she's like, sorry, bro, not coming to get you. Sorry, you forgot that there was a factor in there that was actually quite kind. Or I wasn't sure if it was weird or if it was kind. You offered me to stay at your house. Yeah, yeah. And I need to add a little bit of an explainer there.

Please, because when my wife goes, those hot girls, they want to stay at your house. Sorry, Bridget. Jesus Christ. Imagine, you're like, hey, you know those girls that you hate? You know those hot young girls that are older than us? Ryan and I were in radio at the same time. But Ryan was like a couple of years above me and he was someone that, sorry, not geriatric.

You were more experienced. This geriatric regional radio announcer. You had bigger shows. You had climbed the ladder. I was like one rung ahead. No, you were like three rungs ahead. Yeah, I'd made it to Bendigo before Keisha did. Made it big time.

Shout out Starbuck. Where were you? You were Canberra. You were Perth. Oh, that'll take all episodes. Okay. Mildura, Toowoomba, Hunter Valley, Bunbury, Perth, Canberra, Kiss Melbourne. Okay.

That's quite a climb, right? So we became like internet friends back in the day because it's a real radio thing. All the regional announcers make friends with other regional announcers. Yeah. And you kind of like help each other out when it comes to content. And you just complain together. Yeah. You vent to each other.

Nothing brings people closer than having a common enemy and just going, hey, Keish, what's fucked? And she goes, same. And then you're like, we're best friends. 100%. and so we have had like a friendship for a long time and so when you messaged me being like hey the podcast and i was like you know if you need a place to stay while you're up in sydney we have multiple bedrooms you're welcome to stay with us so you're like hope that isn't weird i don't think

you said i hope it's not weird i think you just said she goes come for sure yeah how dare you stay in a hotel i've cut you a key she got one bedroom come but i did realize that that could have come across as a bit strange considering i actually don't know is this the first time we've actually met in person i think it might be shut up i feel like i've talked on the phone many times so tony and i call that dot comrades so you're like friends of the internet that haven't quite met i like it i think it's beautiful i am walking today and it's i think everyone does this but we greet each other like we're old friends and i was like have we ever actually met or is it just it's just an internet thing isn't it this parasocial relationship if i had have known you

tony wouldn't have been such a dick about the fact that she knew you guys first um so no i confirm i haven't but i've been a fan from afar from a long time i haven't invited tony to stay at my house so Tony you are also welcome to stay at my house but you did reject me you turned me down for staying at my house and then I followed it up with more hospitality because I'm like oh I don't live that far from the airport do you guys need picking up and I was going to come and pick you up from the airport and then yesterday Brit changed the recording schedule we had to record and there was before this and so I kind of I did the switcheroo and I withdrew both of my offers Lily who works for us she came with me and when I said oh is there room for both of us Keisha went

Who's the other girl? Like she was real fucked off. No, there's no fucking room. That's why she canned it, you know? Yeah. Oh, there's some other girl. Don't worry about it, bro. Stay at the Ibis.

I need everyone to know that these are jokes, okay? I do not want any rumors going around that I'm trying to cut Bridget's grass. Look, I will take responsibility. I did make her cancel you because we did have a record that popped up. Who was it? Who bumped me? It was me. I wanted to record earlier.

It wasn't an interview. It was just me. Because I was like, oh, obviously there's like some big guests. I guess that's fine. Well, I had to rearrange, believe it or not, and I'm not lying, I had to rearrange my schedule because I was supposed to be interviewing Kim Kardashian. Are you joking?

No, I'm not joking. So everything changed and it still might happen. It's on the cast. Is that later today? Do we need to wrap this up? Britt was meant to be flying to LA tonight. Oh, shit. I did bumpy for Kim Kardashian, so sorry.

That's actually a compliment, yeah. No, I'm like, of course. And when I see that interview and I hope that I do, I know that I played a small role in that. You're like, thank you. But we're super excited to chat to you. And it was, we ummed and ahed a little bit because at the end of the day, you're a fierce competition.

You are, you are incredibly successful and incredibly good broadcasters and podcasters. And I know you guys don't broadcast anymore, but I think that is what also makes you good podcasters. And so it's definitely something that you think about. You're like, cool. Do we want to invite our competition on the podcast? But you guys are so fucking funny and you're so nice. And I mean, we're joking.

We're always going to have our competition on the podcast. I know you're kind of saying it as a joke, but like we, like someone said to us, like, oh, who are your competitors? And I was like, I never really thought about it like that. Rising tide lifts all ships. Yeah. But even when I was in radio, I was like, I just wanted my show to be sick. And if my show was awesome and everyone else was as awesome, we were coming last.

I'd prefer that than my show sucking, but still being number one. I don't look like, I don't. Yeah. And we joke, there are no competitors. Every single, there is so much room for everyone. And I think that's what people forget. But we just want to say officially, I know we're 25 minutes in. welcome to the podcast it's a pleasure to be here and do you have an accidentally unfiltered and a

most embarrassing story yeah so how bad was lockdown in sydney i feel like mel bad but not mel i had one in i had a couple in melbourne and then i had some in sydney sydney sorry for anyone who thought sydney one was bad you've got no fucking clue what it was like in victoria so during covid because i was working at kiss in melbourne for some reason i was like a part of providing essential information like we were an essential worker in the media and i worked at channel seven and I was going to do like a cross or something and my hair like I looked like I'd been in lockdown so I was like I should get a haircut but hairdressers were like closed but I had like a piece of paper that's like legally Ryan is allowed to get his hair cut and a hairdresser

is allowed to cut his hair because he's in the media and heaven forbid you know his hair be out of place you look untamed so I messaged this lady and she's a hairdresser or a barber and she goes up you live in Richmond right and I was like yep she's like I also live in Richmond but my shops ages away like if you've got that piece of paper instead of us both driving out to middle of nowhere why don't you just come to my place and i'll cut your hair and it'll be fine so i get there and i said before we get started do you mind if i use the bathroom and she fuck i haven't told this story in ages and i'm actually cringing and i want to cry because it's so embarrassing it's a house where there's only one bathroom and it's like an ensuite so like this girl i've never

I mean, I have to walk through her bedroom to get into the thing and I used the bathroom and it was a number two and then there's no toilet paper out there. And so. You had a shower. Great idea. What would you do in that situation? I'd have a shower.

Great idea. Shower, great call. A lot of people in the past was like, oh, why don't you think of this? But I was just like. But imagine if you just went to someone's house and she just heard the shower start. I was like, you're about to cut my head off. You got a little wash first or whatever.

So I panicked and I was like, I've got to do something. I'm about to sit at this girl's table for fucking 45 minutes. So I used her towel and then I just put it back. No! What are you going to do with it? You steal it. You wash it in the sink. Throw it out the window.

Just walk back into the lounge and go, is this your sweetheart? You think it was better to wipe shit on her hand towel and then hang it back up. Yeah, but I faced it the other way. You know what that's for? People pick that up and wipe their face with it. With the back of it? You basically took a dump on her face.

Look, I'm not saying that this is the best course of action. All I'm saying is in the heat of the battle, that's just what I decided to do. I don't stand by it. I don't defend it, but that's what happens. And then if you want to know how to grow an online following, I said if we get 1,000 Patreon members for Tony and Ryan, I'll call her, like on the podcast.

You told us. Please don't. And then all these people signed, because we just started and I was like, no one's going to sign up to what even is Patreon. Two days later, everyone's like, there's a thousand people, let's hear this fucking call. And I messaged and said, can I call you on the podcast? And she goes, I know you do a comedy podcast

and it could only be about one thing. Please don't call me. She knew. She said, don't call me. Well, we called her and it rang out. And then I texted and I was like, hey, like, I just, that was me. Can you answer? And she like.

She barred you. Yeah. She was also from Finland and I think she got deported after that. That's not funny. But like no one's seen it. Were those things connected? I don't know. I just don't know.

I'm just confused at how in that moment you thought that was the best option. You know what I would actually do before I got in the shower? I would be going through her bathroom because she's a woman. There is something in there, like a wax strip or a makeup. Oh, you were in there for a while. Yeah, I just waxed my asshole in your bathroom. Don't wax, you idiot. Short back and sides.

It's too hard to buckle. This is like probably the worst part is like I get back out there and she goes, oh, I don't have any toilet paper in there. And I went, oh, what? I used the end of it. You're like a human. I just went, oh, wasn't there? I didn't really know.

And she just went, she goes, oh, okay. Like she knew the whole time and like it was the most quiet haircut I've ever got in my life because it wasn't at the end of the haircut. It was like before I started. I would have just left. I would have left and just cut my own hair. I should have. Do you know what I love so much about this is that there's

so much performative vulnerability on the internet, like people pretending that they're kind of sharing a story that makes them feel a little bit vulnerable. That's one that is truly vulnerable. Like you really hung yourself out there and there's nothing that could happen where people don't like judge you for it. So, Ryan, I appreciate that you shared that with us. Thank you.

It does have to be one of the more embarrassing stories I've ever heard. That's got to be top three. We've been doing this six years. Can we talk industry chat real quick? Yeah, hit it. You know how you guys do multiple episodes, radio shows. You kind of go.

How? How am I going to think of something else to talk about? Like you're always trying to find a new story. So I get home after that and I walked in and Bridget goes, oh, haircut. Why do you look weird? What happened? Like she knew straight away because I was like real sheepish and I told her and I was like, it was really embarrassing and awful.

But I'm like, I think it would be a good story on the podcast because you're just so desperate for a story. Everything's content, especially in lockdown. As you know, with all that stuff, you're like, yeah, I'll tell that story. And tomorrow there'll be another one. Bridget goes, if you tell that story one time, that it's not going to be. You're the towel shit guy. She's like, that will stay with you for a very long time.

And I was like, oh, you say that every second week. You know, I've been telling stories for ages. So a year and a half later, we're in Toronto doing a meet and greet. And this guy comes up with a towel with a manufactured poo stain on it and asked me to sign it. Mate, you have made it. You have made it. Yeah, that's showbiz, baby.

That's Toronto, Canada. There's a Toronto in Newcastle, so that's international. How many people listening went, oh, Newcastle? No one. When I'm doing my meet and greets in suburban Newcastle. Sorry, you did regional radio. Let's not make out. Is Toronto a good area of Newcastle?

Oh, look, Toronto is, you don't pronounce all of the syllables of it if you're from there. Toronto. Toronto. Do many people listen to this show from Newcastle? I hope so. Because I can tell you they're the loosest people. If you ever get a story from Newcastle, just settle in because they're fucking psychos.

Exhibit A. Dude, that's interesting though. Like let's speak about Toronto, Canada. You have such a huge listenership overseas. Like you guys go and do huge events overseas and live shows and meets and it's actually quite amazing to think. And I'd love to know what that dynamic is like versus Australian audience. Yeah, Australia's 35%.

America, like the USA is 30, like just a bit less. Canada might be like 15 and the UK is 15 as well and then New Zealand Germany and like Scandinavia and stuff but that was just like the TikTok algorithm doing its thing it wasn't like we had like a strategy you reckon that was TikTok yeah well like a few of the early videos just popped right off and there's so many more people like higher population that it it finds and because we recorded it in the Kiss studios there was this sense like I don't know why but when we're in the studio people go oh it's a real show and like what's a real show mean but people in the u.s were like what's going on in australian radio because these guys are fucked like i can't believe

they can say stuff on a real show because it looked yeah it's because anyone can podcast but like in the radio world and being a broadcaster it's like slim opportunities like yeah i think i guess people take it more seriously you've also got more rules like you've got kids in car rules but it wasn't it was just like if we put a tv screen behind us in the room here suddenly it feels like a radio show i don't know because it wasn't a radio show but they just the look of it and so it also sounds really cool to be like oh we're global like what a flex but it's actually a logistical nightmare because if we're like when you guys did your tour we can't really do that because 80 of people will be pissed off that we didn't go to their place we did get that as well

like you can't go everywhere we got some people that are like why didn't you come here but you can't do it all we have our birthday party and we go where are we going to have it because There's no like one place we can all get together and hang out. Terrible problem to have, right? Oh, but actually like say a brand comes in and say, oh, we want to advertise. We're doing this. And we go, oh, well, only 30%, like 70% of the people that hear your ad can't buy your thing because they're not here. It makes it harder for sure.

Yeah. And so like I said, it is a great problem, but it's still like a kind of logistical tricky one. Well, Ryan, today I'm going to try and get us a bit because I know that all three of us could just yap for hours. but today there are a couple of really important things that we want to talk to you about to do with your career progression to do with the kind of different paths that you went down with your adoption and also with your fertility journey but i started the podcast by saying that you're an international athlete yeah that was a strange oh sorry i thought you'd appreciate that i did that out of kindness no i know i'm really proud of your accomplishments in volleyball and

i thought that you would like to share that with everybody yeah and brit's into international athlete. I'm an Australian champion bodyboarder, so whatever. Something that I actually didn't know about you until I did a bit of research for this episode was that before you got into broadcasting, you were an accountant? Yep. An accountant. I've written a thesis in a corporate disclosure of the Australian, the ASX top 50 on the intellectual property disclosure. Very interesting thesis. I actually need someone to talk to me about intellectual property at the moment well after this call me 13 years ago yeah um so i worked in a bank for two at nab for a few years and then an accounting firm for a few years i used to do hugh jackman's tax did you and jennifer

hawkins fuck she does right wow i don't know if we can say that how does hugh jackman do i've met hugh jackman lovely yeah lovely he no they're great although because you know how jen used to work at maya yeah like she shouldn't have like got paid in maya shares because i don't know if you've like is that how they paid her well there's all those options they come to people like us and say what do you reckon and I go my what could go wrong retail it's going to be huge and then do you advise her to then the internet came and Ryan had to get out of accounting and that's why I got fired yeah so and I actually just did an MBA which is a business degree because when COVID happened and I stopped doing radio I thought that was it so I thought I would have to go back

to being a consultant and so and then I got too far into the course to like not finish it so how did you end up in radio so I was like the this is the saddest sentence anyone will ever say but like the class clown of the accounting firm because they're all nerdy accountants I would have said it was sadder to say I wiped my shit on a stranger's hand towel but if we can go with that one look I've got lots of different we'll go a top five um but I used to get into the firm and be like oh holy shit like this guy on the train this morning it was so fun like you know I'd come in and telling stories and my boss said if you want to tell stories like go get a radio job and so four weeks later I walked in with my notice I was like you know what you said when you're kind of

being a dick well guess what I did it I did it and I just said I was gonna I did like a short course at Melbourne radio school like a little six-weeker and then did work experience at TRFM Terrelgan in the holidays and then I was like I'm gonna take whatever job I can get yeah and so yeah then I did the regional route and I was on the street team at Nova doing the icy cold cans of coke and stuff so there's one time when I was an accountant from nine to five I did like student radio at night and on the weekends I was a Nova Casanova if this makes you feel better I was doing my honours in biomedical science, working on the street team on the weekends because I needed a job that paid.

I think for biomedical science to what we do, your fall from grace is bigger than mine. It probably is. But it was similar. Like I was in an environment that even everybody in that environment recognised that I didn't fit there. And I'm not saying that they like bullied me. I mean more so that I just didn't have the personality of someone that was. Sounds like they bullied you.

They didn't. It was just really obvious that I was the yappy one. And I want to, you know, I enjoyed the main thing I enjoyed about day was like the lunchroom and getting to chat to people. And so when I ended up finding an environment that I felt suited my personality more, it was actually quite relieving, but there was a big part of me, and I'm sure you would have felt the same way that felt like, oh, I've done this education and I don't want that to be wasted.

Like, yeah. And you feel like, well, what it's like called the sunk cost fallacy, right? Like you've already done it. You can't get it back. But even though it's got a cool name, doesn't mean it's not real because you're like, oh, I've done all this. feel like I've wasted all that time and I I definitely went through that but the HR lady at picture partners like what a legend she was because I at the time no kids no partner no

mortgage she goes hey like give it a crack and if it doesn't work out like give us a call like we like you can come back and so I kind of went oh well what's the worst that could happen and I always had this thing like I'd hate to be you know as old as pretty as now like real old and then geriatric but like to look back and go I wish I had of yeah and I'm like well now's the time and if I try and it doesn't work out I'll actually be quite happy knowing that at least I tried and that's okay I remember exactly the same thing it was only a few years ago that I stopped working in a hospital so I remember doing like overnight shifts at 7am in my scrubs would go and meet Laura and would record a podcast episode just trying to hustle and exactly what you said Keisha I think

people that are attracted to this industry you can always tell like you can always tell that there, that kind of a personality. Like I would be cracking jokes throughout the night in emergency and people are like, this is not the time. We're all insufferable. It's not the time to make that joke. During emergency. Well, like, yeah, you've got to keep the vibe alive.

Not during an emergency, but during my emergency shift. So like I would be making. My leg's falling off and they're like, knock, knock. Who said knock your leg? But like if there's a bunch of us on night shift, I'd be the ones wanting to entertain people when it's not the downtime. Sorry, I was going to pause for one of the greatest jokes Keisha will ever tell in her life.

knock knock who's there not your leg oh that was funny wow i'm gonna have dreams i mean that is not funny keisha you can't laugh at that but yeah it's exactly the same thing and it's it comes back to that like you're not gonna know if you don't give it a shot but it worked out for you you didn't have to go back well not yet but the thing is though i also don't have any qualms about like you know it's like a bit awkward when like someone does something in the public eye and then they like go and get a regular person job and it's almost like oh like you felt like But I've like, if I had to work next year, I'd like, I've got the qualifications and now like a different kind of experience.

Like I'd actually be totally fine. And I still see jobs now and go, oh, if I wasn't doing this, I'd love that job. You know, what's cooked for me is that like, I don't know if it's the same for you with accounting, but so I did the podcast and my job in the hospital for a couple of years because I was, I couldn't, I've never for 13 years, I had had an income and I couldn't fathom not having, knowing what was coming in every week. Tony, very risk averse. So I was ready to go with the pod and Tony was like, nah, nah, nah.

Like we need to keep our jobs. It's too soon. Yeah. Well, I did it for years and then it came to this crucial point. So in my industry, I have a medical radiation license and you have to keep, do so much to keep your license. And it came to the point where they messaged me and they were, you have to do X amount of hours and training.

Yeah. Well, same as CPAs and accountants. And they're like, you're going to lose this. What are you going to do? Do you want to keep it and you have to keep the hours up or you want to lose your license? Do you look yourself in the mirror and go, like, this is it? It was a huge decision. So I actually can't ever go back.

No, not ever. I could, but you'd be almost going back to basics. So I've got to fucking make this work. This has got to work for me. Well, Will Anderson, he was a journalist. I don't know if you guys know that. But he sort of like burned the bridge because he's like, if I've got a good plan B, then I'll just end up doing the plan B.

And he's like, I just have to like rip the Band-Aid and go for it. I'm not that brave. But also it's strange doing the business stuff because, and this is like the real nerdy side is like we all work in like little businesses so I'm like running a small business and you'd be surprised how many of the old skills and stuff I learned are actually really valuable now and that at least makes me feel a little bit less bad when I look at my hex debt and I go it's not a complete waste because I use a little bit of it so it makes me feel a little bit better yeah yeah I love that I actually saw a clip of John Howard of all things

talking on a podcast recently about politicians and how his advice to them is that before you get into politics you should go and do a real job because it gives you life experience and like yeah it might be a little bit you know big picture and that kind of thing but there's not a part of me that regrets it I definitely would prefer that the hextet wasn't as large but no I think it's cool I think it's cool that you know it's one of those things where it's like if you feel as though you're not fitting in where you are or that you should take an opportunity we get questions about this literally every week to the podcast for Ask Uncut and I think we're big believers of like take the risk but you do also have to be a certain type of personality you are doing a gamble and

it's like it's one of those things I don't know if it's a regional radio thing for both of us I know that we had our situations change so rapidly you know like you literally find out you're going to this town tomorrow you find out your show has finished you're not going back on air like it's all very immediate and so I think we've we've learned to be more comfortable with change and I don't know I feel like a bit of a cat with nine lives like it will always work out You know, what might not work out as quickly as you'd hope, but like things will turn around. When I got the first radio job offer, it was probably less than half of the money I was earning in finance.

And I was chatting to my mate, Leon, Leonopolis, who was like a big partier. And he goes, I'm at this rave in the middle of the bush. Come out and we'll chat about it. And I went, okay. So I drive out to the middle of nowhere. Is it a bush doof? Yeah, like a full bush doof. And he was like.

Off his chops. Yeah. Sober. for the record, allegedly off his job. No, he was proper gone for it. And I said, oh, bro, like I've got this crazy opportunity. Like it's a bit of a risk. I don't know what to do.

And he just like sweating his ass off. So he like grabbed my face with his two sweaty hands and he goes, Dunny, my last name's Dun, he goes, Dunny, the biggest risk in life is not taking a risk. So you should do it. Okay, Gandhi. You were like, okay, I'm in. And then I said, you're right.

and I decided there at a bush doof at 4am that I was going to do it. And then I run into Leon four years later, he's straightened up, found his community of people, very much a changed man, very happy for him. And I said, oh man, like, I don't know if it's weird to bring up, but like, you actually, without knowing it probably had like a really profound impact on my life. And I said, cause you said the biggest risk in life is not taking a risk. And he said, not only do I never remember saying that to you, I've actually never heard that saying before in my life. The wisdom comes. Yeah, and I was like, dude, you changed my life.

And he goes, nah. And I think about him like every second day. Like the crossover of wisdom and acid is probably quite strong. It's profound moments. Yeah, that's how the mouse came to be with Steve Jobs apparently. What I will say is that we also encourage calculated, well-thought-out risks if they suit you. Consult your own financial advisor.

But, hey, something I do want to talk to you about that I think is really interesting, and I love hearing you talk about it in your own life and on your socials and your podcast, Now it's a bit more serious, but when you were 10 weeks old, you were adopted and you talk quite openly about that and the journey that your adoptive parents took. Yeah. Talk to us about that time. Yeah.

My birth mother finds out she's pregnant past the point of not having the child. Like it's, and so it's, I don't know what it is, but there's a certain, you know, before 20 weeks you can decide to do whatever, but it was, it was sort of past that. and she was from a really rough family rough neck of the woods and she was just so determined to not like like to break the cycle so she was actually 28 I grew up thinking assuming she was 16 but she was 28 years old like old enough to do it but just not wanting to yeah well I just assumed it was like you know a teenager or something but she was going to night school to like better herself and get it she's like her family like yeah really tough life and she's like

I don't want to bring a kid into this tough life. If I'm going to have a kid, we're going to have two parents. We're going to have the family home. We're going to be away from this. We're going to be in a safe neighborhood. And so my birth father was, he finished college and was a backpacker. Like they met at a work party, like hooked up once and like that was it. So he'd left the country by the time she'd realized.

And this is like, it's weird, like 1987, you don't just like DM him and go, oh, by the way, like we hooked up. So he just kept traveling and had no idea. and she just decided that this child isn't going to grow up in this environment and it's not going to grow up without two parents. So it was just, like, really important to her. So did she know him in terms of, like, did she make a choice to not track him down? Could she have technically told him or she thought it's just easier not to?

Oh, no, trying to be, like, polite as possible. Like, they did not know each other very well. Yeah. Yeah, like, they met at a party. Yeah, people, but I mean, like, did she know him enough to find an Instagram or it was, like, long gone, this man was gone. Gone. and again yeah the technology back in the day and yeah he was a backpacker like i got a letter from

her and it's like dear ryan like when you're old enough to understand here's what happens and i don't think she referenced his name like sure is this a hookup yes and so my mom and dad uh who i now call mom and dad they got married when they were 21 and they were trying to conceive for 12 years wow so that a couple of rounds of ivf obviously that probably the technology wasn't is good so but after 12 years like so they they registered to adopt children and if you want to hear like a crazy uh there's a thousand couples in victoria in 1987 that get signed off and say we'd like to adopt a kid and the government says yep you're approved all good and there's 15 children and i often think like that's a thousand separate lives that i could have had because you

know you move in with that family they're really into soccer and they're italian and like that's who you are now or they're uber religious or they're party animals or they're hippies or like whatever it is you don't realize how many different paths your life yeah and so my mom and dad were kind of like sporty and i and my birth mom was sporty so she kind of said oh i'd like him to go to like an active family if if i'm allowed to say so and i think she had a was allowed to kind of give a top three or give a recommendation and so i'm born i go to like a an orphanage sort of foster home for 10 weeks I actually had surgery on my hip when I was four days old was that so that you could become an athlete just a bionic hip yeah they were just like sorry it's an

inappropriate no no well I had weird scars every time I get asked about scars I have a different story but yeah so but they get me out of the hospital and the doctor goes oh the surgery's gone well he's really fine and sort of hands me to the nurse and says oh well this kid's going to be fine but he just needs like a lot of love and cuddles and stuff from his family and the nurse goes oh he actually doesn't have a family yet so my birth mother actually came back to the hospital just to like hold me and hug me for a few days knowing that that must be so I must be so hard I think like how could you and like it must be so difficult because I just remember the first time I held Mabel and like the selflessness to go no I want this child to have a better life like I don't

think I would be like as selfless to do that like she was yeah yeah and then so 10 10 weeks old mum gets a call on a Thursday afternoon going you've been approved come get him tomorrow wow and they've been on the waiting list for two years so mum goes to work she's a teacher and goes oh I need maternity leave and they go great when are you due and she's like tomorrow like today's my last day see ya imagine the shopping list all the other teachers are mrs dunn's uh maternity leave oh when how did that happen the kids here and yeah and so I've moved in uh when I was 10 weeks you know I'm like I'm breaking out of this crib yeah I was gonna get a lift from Keisha from the airport but she didn't turn up um but yeah so then I yeah I lived with mom and dad uh from 10 weeks

old yeah and it was never something that was a secret in your family was it no and I don't think it is like I've spoken to other people how weird is this in my batch you know so there was 15 babies I met one of them. That's cool. Coincidentally. Yeah. So he, I was doing. In my batch.

So, yeah. Cause I was like, Hey, batch bro. And we like fist bumped. Um, he was, he's a lawyer and we were getting, when Mabel was born, we got our wills done and he was doing it and he kind of, oh, you know, tick this box, any family history of this? And I go, oh, no family history. I was adopted.

And he goes, oh, me too. And I go, oh, crazy. Like what year? And he goes, 1987. I go, oh shit, me too. What month? June. Same.

He goes, were you at St. John Anglican's whatever? Stop it. Yeah, so he's four days older than me. I got goosebumps again, man. Yeah, but like his family could have been my family and he could have got put like, you know, and so. What was his family like? His family seems pretty cool and he's a lawyer,

so he's done all right, you know what I mean? So he, yeah, Patrick. And every time I see him, I'm like, what up? What up, batch brother? That's really cool. Why are we talking about my batch brother again? I don't know. You said it wasn't a secret in your head.

It wasn't a secret. So I talked to him. He was like, it's the same because you kind of just grow up knowing. And I've had other like adoptive parents ask me like, how should I tell them? And my answer is like, tell them before they're old enough to understand because it just becomes like, when did you take your first breath? I don't know. It just sort of happened as I was growing up.

Like, and it's sort of the same. It was just so talked about. Just becomes your normal. Yeah, exactly. And then so every time mum tells a really crap joke or says something embarrassing, I'm like, that's how you can tell I'm adopted because I wouldn't be related to that. And just, it's just became very normalized, even just joking about it just makes it very normal.

Yeah. And so Hollywood always like paints a picture that like the kid finds out on his 16th birthday and you're not my real mom and they're really, yeah. And it just, the reality is 99% of the time. It's not like that. Did you ever have thoughts growing up? You know, I think there is a bit of a stereotype with kids that go through adoption that they're going to feel like they don't belong.

They're going to feel as though, you know, they have issues with validation or whatever it might be. Did you ever relate to that? I definitely didn't feel like I don't belong. Mum disagrees with me on this, but I actually think if you looked at me and my mum and dad, I look like their kid, I think. So I never felt like I look really different or from a different culture. And mum was actually really strong on like I don't want to take a child from them.

She believed like a child should be raised in the culture that like their sort of bloodline and stuff. She's like, oh, because like each their own, but she was like sort of pretty strong on that. But my family's awesome. Like if they were crap, maybe I would have been like this sucks. But, um, because they were so awesome and supportive and like, I used to stay at my cousins all the time.

We lived at grandma and grandpa's for a few months. Like we all got along so well that there was never, I didn't feel like the odd one out because I just fit in with them. And you, I mean, back in 2017, so a few years ago, you posted a video and like thanking your birth mom for the life that she's given you. That went, when we say viral, that was like over a hundred million views. That's proper viral. And I guess I want to know how your parents felt about you wanting to go and find out

your history and your biological parents. So I ended up doing an ancestry DNA test and actually found my birth father, believe it or not. And so when I, so he was living in London and just as an example of like, was mom supportive, she flew with me to London and met him as well. And now he's American, right? He's American, but he lived in London for 10 years. He's just moved back.

but then his wife and my mum are like sharing recipes on Facebook and stuff just being like travel tips and just like real awesome. Your mum sounds so awesome. What was it like? I mean, God, I've got so many questions, but what was it like for your biological dad when you were like, surprise, you've got a grown-ass son? Yeah, so he didn't know I existed.

I knew that he didn't know I existed. He was like really adamant. He's like, I didn't know. If I had have known, I wouldn't have like left you. And he felt how guilty because he was like, this kid thinks I've just left him and abandoned him. And I feel so bad if I had have known I would have come back to Australia and like done the right thing or whatever that means.

Can I just rewind a bit? How does it work with ancestry? Do you both get a notification that you've got a genetic relative somewhere else? So I do the ancestry DNA test because I'm just curious to find out that I'm 16% Scottish or, you know, that, and then this lady CC's her name. she hosts a tv show in america and it's called dna detectives you know those shows with like and so she messages me and goes hey like i'm pretty good in the back end of ancestry if you give me your password i can like go in and like build out the trees and like

because apparently you got to like put a bit of effort but i i just yeah if you want to have a look go for it didn't hear from her for months was like oh yeah whatever i just gave my ancestry your password to someone probably not a good idea but here we are i'm at a family gathering and my phone's ringing and i'm like hello and she goes hey ryan it's cc you gave me your password three months ago i go crazy have you found my birth mom i'm actually in melbourne at the moment like you know where is she she's like i don't know but found your dad and he's got two kids and you've got three brothers and blah blah blah and all and sends me these photos and i looked at my birth father and i go oh that doesn't really look like me uh looked at cole my half brother was like

oh maybe and then I see a picture of Cooper and I was like that looks exactly like I do and Bridget saw a picture of Cooper and was like that's him yeah and like they're a little bit younger than me but when I see pictures of Cooper I go oh that's what I used to look like before I got fat so um uh yeah but that was when I saw Cooper I was like holy shit this is real and then we flew over to London met them all Bridget came with me mum came with me so they love it they think it's hilarious and now mum's she's caught up with them multiple times we've been to Thanksgiving a few times. We're going to Thanksgiving this year again.

Mum's actually hella annoying. I can't keep her away from the original family. She's like, Mum, they're mine. Yeah, kind of. They're not yours, they're mine. But I think she knows that, like, I love her and she's my mum and this is just like this really interesting thing. Yeah.

And even when I went with my dad, I said, like, even though this is like I'm going to meet my biological father, like, you're still my dad. And he was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. What did you feel like going over to meet them? Were you nervous? Were you excited? Were you worried?

I think I was nervous, but more just the social, like, what do you wear when you meet your father? Also, what do you small talk about? Because, like, that person's a stranger, but you shared some genetic material. I feel like the small talk's fine because you're, like, you've got a whole lifetime to catch up on, but it's, like, what do you wear?

That's fair. But it was all these little small social things that I would be embarrassing, like, or awkward about if I was just meeting some person down the street for a coffee. Imagine if he didn't have toilet paper and you had to use his towel. What a way to meet him. He goes, oh, well, I had this other kid and I fucked him right off back where he came from. Imagine he didn't Google you.

That was the first thing that popped up. Proud of you, son. Love that. No, so it turns out, so my, the family I was raised with, teachers, nurses, tradies, and then I studied like finance and accounting, which is a bit weird. I meet him. He works in finance. His two kids work in finance.

His father works in finance. I've got this scar on my shoulder where I had a shoulder reconstruction. construction he has the same scar and has had the same surgery like we have all these similarities we have similar interests it's like insane so we go oh let's just have a coffee and you know we'll go to a what is it in london pret a manga whatever it is yeah yeah just pret pret just pret yeah we'll meet at pret the lokes call it pret so we went to pret at 10 a.m and then i think at 4 p.m we were like shit we should like i should get back to the family you should get back to your family Like we just sat there for six hours.

And now years later, like years, years later, I'm having beers with Cooper, my half brother. And I said, oh, what was it like? Cause they were like back at the apartment and they're texting him going like, is everything okay? They thought he's been gone for six hours. I wonder if this guy's like trying to scam him or ask for money. Like you're trying to scam him. Yeah.

What a fine ass brain. Oh, but they're just like, they went for a coffee six hours ago. Dad's not answering his phone. This guy that comes out of the blue after 30 years. And so we get along really well now. We message most weeks and every time I'm in the States, I catch up with them. And it took them a few years to go, oh, by the way,

when we first met, we thought you were scamming the family. And then we saw you and we realised that we actually look quite alike. We look quite alike. But also I think they're like not flashy people, but Joel, my birth father, is like done all right, which kind of makes you a bit more sceptical when someone that's done all right and has a bit of money that some guy just rocks up on the doorstep.

And I think in the letter I wrote, I was like, I'm not asking for an apology. You don't owe me anything. Like, I don't want anything. I just think it's like really interesting. And I said like, oh, I'm going to be in London if you want to catch up for coffee. And I think just making that really clear. And even he said like, oh, I'll fly you over. And I was like, no, no, no.

Like this isn't, that's not what this is. He probably feels a lot of guilt in a way. He did. And then the first week, because I was in London for about a week, by the end of the week, like a few beers in, he was like, oh, it's actually worked out great. because your mum's awesome and if I went back and like whatever I wouldn't have met my wife Beth I wouldn't have had my kids Cooper and Cole but it took him like three or four days to kind of go oh hang on everyone's a winner here there's no loser in this scenario but of course at first he was he felt guilty and he was conflicted and like this was really strange but after a few days he

was like oh everyone's won it probably took for him to meet your mum and see the amazing life that you were provided and he probably also would have had a similar realization to what your biological cool mother had of like we wouldn't have been able to create that environment for him you know like you said everything worked out perfectly yeah well i feel like i'm a winner because i got raised by an awesome family mom and dad couldn't have kids and then they got one and then joel got to live his life meet his now wife and have his family so was there any like um like i find this interesting to see these studies that they do around the world was there anything that really stood out for you in terms of nature versus nurture like personality traits or anything

where you're like you've never known each other for 30 years but you had these uncanny and i don't mean like your job i mean more like well yeah i don't know because the jobs are not because it was a weird sort of like finances a bit left field in my family but i just found it really natural and i'd still just find it interesting as nerdy as that is to say yeah like laughs like you have the same laughs you have the same mannerisms you have the same personality traits like things that you feel like i wonder if they are just traits that we've learned from being in the family i'm in or if they're just ingrained in you? I don't know.

It's okay if the answer's no. No, but I'm a big, I've found this topic very interesting and could spend a lot of time thinking about it because I do think, you know that thing where you're like if you want to buy a Porsche that suddenly when you drive you just see Porsches everywhere? I think like you see similarities because you're looking for them. Yeah. And so Cooper's now married and he goes off to the bathroom

and I was chatting with his wife and Sharky goes, oh, every time we come to this pizza, beer place, like he's off to the bathroom because he's like he's no good with gluten but he just loves pizza and beer and i'm like i also like pizza and beer and i also don't do well with gluten and we go is it because we're brothers and we're from the same patch or is it because gluten sucks like so i yeah i don't know but there's so many similarities and my mom actually got hell annoying because anytime we like breathe she's like oh my god you breathe the same way and just i was pointing out anything that could possibly happen I just love how like encouraging and wanting to be a part of

it that your mum was like I think that that's really beautiful one other part to your story that is you know I think I can only imagine that it would have been really hard for you to grapple with is that you didn't meet your birth mother at all no you found out that she had passed away yep last year she passed away I actually found out 15 minutes before Tony and I did a 24-hour live stream so I just get this phone and I go hey man like this is your third uncle that you've never met I just like I felt like you should know this and I was like thanks I'm gonna try and not think about that for 24 hours yeah now I have to be in front of a camera yeah but if you watch that live stream back you can you can tell yeah how did that person so what's the connection and how did

you find your birth mom and how did they know who you were she was one of eight and like the siblings were all over the place and one of her brothers married this lovely lady and the lady and her were friends back in the day and so i think just word got through that they hadn't seen her for 30 odd years either like when i went to her funeral they were like asking me for information and i was like oh i thought i was going to come here and ask you for information so right i think she was a bit embarrassed like that she got pregnant unexpectedly because she was like oh Like this is the kind of thing that people from my area do. Like this is, you know, the type of thing my family does.

She didn't want to lean into this type of stereotype. Yeah, and I think, yeah, she's been embarrassed by it and then I think she regretted a lot of things and so she just sort of went and lived her own life and somehow it got back to the family or when she passed away, you know, the police looked up and called the family and they messaged me on Facebook and said, yeah, can we give you a call?

We thought you should know. And then I was actually in London when the funeral was on and they pushed the funeral back a week. So I didn't know at the time because I think they were just being polite. They said, oh, we've had to delay it. But then I found out we had a few drinks after and they said, oh, yeah, we just thought it was the right thing to do, which I really appreciate. But, yeah, she lived a very separate life.

Was there a sense of you that felt like you were robbed of closure? In my mind, it was like the ultimate closure because that was it. but i i still think like i could have i didn't try very hard because i kind of assumed she didn't want to be found and i think i kind of just wanted to respect that choice but after or maybe one day i'll just wake up and go no i'm gonna go find her today or maybe one day she'll change her mind and reach out to me and so you're kind of living with this like small bit of hope and then suddenly like you don't have that i hope anymore and i was chatting to a therapist and there's it's i said i'm like grieving but i don't know them it doesn't make sense and she said well

you're actually grieving the opportunity and that's actually a very normal thing and when she said that i was like oh that actually makes sense i'm like i felt sad because i'd lost that one percent chance and the difference between one percent and zero percent is actually a lot yeah And so I thought, oh, well, I've, I've missed my chance there, but I don't know if this is strange. I was, I was with my daughter, Mabel and Bridget when I found out and I just kind of went, well, I've got my own beautiful family now and that's okay. So, um, it was, yeah, it took, you know, a while to kind of get my head around it, especially

as I had to do that live stream. So I didn't get to process it that much, but then, yeah, like I'm like kind of cut because I'm like, well, do I regret not trying while I had the chance? but I think the answer is no because you can't live like that can you no and but I also like she did something so selfless for me and if she decides that she's moving on then you know what I owe you one so I'll honor and respect that decision and not everyone would look at it like that for sure like there'd be people that look at it very differently like you still owe me like you still brought me into this world and you owe me answers and there'll be people to look at it

like that and I think that would be a very dangerous place for you to live and it is the opportunity that is hard for you not for you but i mean people like when you lose the option to do something sometimes it makes the situation worse than what it was when you know the options there well i don't like you hear those stories where like someone dies and they take their answers with them or you know they take the truth to the grave or those sort of things but there's no question i i really have the only thing i really wanted to say to her was was thank you and that it's okay because I know that she and a lot of other birth mothers experience a lot of guilt and I was like oh it feels strange for you to live with the guilt you don't need to because

I'm actually fine um so I would hate to her to live with that if she didn't have to yeah there's almost a sense of like if she had realized the gift that she gave your parents she might have felt differently and it's really sad to hear that a lot of you know birthing mums feel shame and feel guilt about their decisions when that's probably the best thing that ever happened to your parents you know, and I guess you would have a bit of a new perspective on that as well, because I know that you and Bridget, you didn't have quite a smooth sailing journey to getting your daughter Mabel. Yeah. Now Mabel's an IVF baby. A geriatric IVF baby. A geriatric IVF baby. We, yeah, decided we were going to, the reason I actually did the first adoption video is because we decided we're

going to have kids and then we go, cool, let's go get checked and do family history and do all that stuff. And that's when I started thinking about being adopted heaps more because suddenly I didn't have all this family history. So if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have ever thought about it. You know, Sarah Davidson joined the podcast from Seize the Yay. And I remember there was this one sentence that she said that I was like, wow, that's so interesting. When she was pregnant, she realized that it was the first time she was ever going to see someone who had the same DNA as her. And that made her think a lot more about her adoption as well. Yeah. So Mabel was the first blood relative I've ever lived with, which is crazy. And then I had met my biological father before Mabel, but it was the first hour was just me and Mabel because Bridge had a few complications and stuff. So she was in another theater in the hospital, but it was just the two of us. And it was like the craziest, best hour of my life. It was awesome.

But, yeah, we definitely also because, yeah, it was a while coming, which made it feel pretty special. And I think talking to mum, like no one understands how tough it is than my mum from what she went through. But IVF is like really hard and we did it during COVID. Normally the guy would go in and leave his like sample in the hospital, but during COVID you weren't allowed to go into the hospital. Have you had any friends that have had to go through this?

I have, yeah. The only reason I know about this is because I've heard you talk about it. How have you experienced this? I've got embryos. So, like, I've got eggs and embryos, but my husband has done them frozen. He's done them fresh. He's been there to ejaculate on the second of timing that I'm, like, under anesthetic.

Like, yeah. The first time I went, they're like, we need you to bring it in. Yeah. And it has to be a quick timeframe. I don't want to use the word fresh because how disgusting. You've got 40 minutes. Yeah. And I lived in Richmond at the time and didn't own a car.

So I went in an Uber with it in a jar in my pocket and then Tony knew what I was doing because I was going to be late to work that day. And I was like, I'm on the radio at nine. I'm going to drop this off at 8am, get to the radio station. So at like 7.50, it's game time. And so Tony's texting me the whole time being like, what are you doing? And sending me like, and you're like, you're making this really hard. That's an airplane mode situation.

But she was like, am I helping? Like, no, you're not helping at all. So then I get in the Uber and, you know, the Uber driver sees hospital. He goes, is it a hurry? And I was like, no, we're all good, mate, just down the road. And he's like, oh, okay, what's going on? And I was like, oh, just an appointment. He goes, yeah, what's going on?

Which is such a weird thing. None of your fucking business. Tell me your medical history. What's up? Kind of. And I thought he was just being polite, but I'm like, if someone tells you they're going to hospital and they're sheepish, just shut up.

Read the room. Yeah. So then, and you have to keep it warm. So I was like, I had it in my jacket pocket and I'm reaching in like, you know like where a gun would be if you're a gangster you know like you know like that kind of you do give up yeah it's the threat right like you don't show up you just and so because it's really awkward because you're rocking up to the front door with your jizz in your pocket we always try to make a joke to like break the ice a little bit you guys worked in the medical field it's

never funny hey because you've heard all the jokes before oh it's it's never funny but you're like oh that's funny yeah we call that being a victim of medical comedy is when you try to like break the eyes. And the doctor's like, fuck, shut the fuck up. So I was like, it's so awkward. And of course the girl at reception is like the hottest girl alive. And I'm just like, I don't know what this just makes it so much worse that I have to like look you in the eye because you know what I've just been doing. And so I was like, well, I'll break the ice with a joke. This is probably worse than the toilet. I was wondering which one you were going to bring. You can decide whether you think this is funny or not as someone from the medical profession. I walked in and I've got my

hand in my pocket and i said i looked at her and i went where do i put it and she goes oh you put the jar in the basket over there and i went oh a jar oh brian that's how she reacted oh she's like just fucking shut up just go just go over there you know you know what the worst one is for me this is it's not sick the one i've heard a thousand times is when someone comes in with a broken elbow they're like let me tell you it wasn't funny it's a funny bone you know a funny moment, you know, and I'm like, fucking stop it. I tell you what sucks, it's their shit joke, but I'm judging you for it now.

But also 10 years in, you still have to fake laugh at every time someone says it. To be fair, I doubt it was the first time she'd heard the joke. I thought that was pretty unique. Do you reckon? Well, most. Have you ever done it in there or did you only ever do it from home and take it in?

No, I had to do it in there because the actual time was similar. They're like, we're taking Bridget's eggs out now, you've got to do it right here and, like, you've got to get the timing right. and you'll never go into a room with less eye contact than the waiting room because all the guys in Melbourne, it's in East Melbourne, all the soon-to-be dads drop the lady off at one hospital and then they go to the hospital down the road

to leave the sample at the IVF clinic. And so we all sort of see each other at the hospital. You all know. We all get down there and, like, everyone's looking down and it's looking bad. And then you go into the room and it's the most sterile room but it had a green leather Lazy Boy, which is like that seat. I've had the same thing.

Was it the same seat? Oh, my God. Your husband and I have jerked it on the same chair. When you get laser done, they put like a piece of paper towel down over the bed for hygiene reasons. They don't do that. It's pretty much just a chair. Sorry, they just have a normal chair.

No, Keith, you want mine. Okay, so the first time that we. Let the record, so I didn't sit in the chair because I just started thinking about it. No, no one touches anything. There was an iPad there. Imagine the greasy fingers that have touched that screen. No, we didn't have an iPad.

We walked in. Hang on, why the fuck were you there? This is why it's funny. This is why it's funny. When I did it, I'm like, I don't know if you know the difference between you and I, Britt, but we've got different plumbing. We went in to get the jar. So first of all, you go in.

And I went with Ben for the day, like the first time, because he was just going to be a frozen sample. It wasn't the fresh. I wasn't doing anything that day. So we went in and we went to get the sample. You go to a window and you're like, I'm here to get a cup. Ben thought it was funny. This is Ben's awkward joke.

They hand him a cup and he goes, I'm going to need a bigger one. And they've probably heard of that a thousand times too. She was like, just take the cup. Anyway, he goes to walk in. You're not surprising. You actually don't. I could have had a significantly smaller cup. No, it is.

It's tiny. You could have like a teaspoon. Did they tell you that there can't be any saliva on it? Yeah. Ben walks into the room and turns around and I'm in the room. I walked in behind him. He's like, what are you doing? And I was like, oh, sorry, what?

Don't you want me in here? And he was like. Do you not want to have children with me? No, but he was like, babe. get, get out. And I was like, I thought you'd want me to. And he was like, he's like, say less. He's like, get like, you need to leave the room.

But the room was like, it's so sterile. There was, we had one magazine in case people were into magazines, a chair, and then we didn't get an iPad. We got a TV with like a remote that had like three porn things on it. Ben was like, I just had to go somewhere in my mind. He's like, I couldn't. But you know what? Good on you for going in with enthusiasm.

I feel like you've been treated as the villain in this story and you should be celebrated. Not all heroes were capes. Some masturbate. but the difference when it was fresh and it's so funny it's just a world that you don't understand unless you're in it but like i remember like the applause that ben was given i remember when i woke up so i was going in then they say they say sorry i know we're jumping times i've just imagined he's gone brit i need you to wait outside and then you've gone so i woke up like you've just slept

at the door like when have you gone to bed in this like when are you sleeping in this part of story when it's fresh and the deposit is fresh it's different right so like they want to time it that you are in the operating theater and you have gone under they have gone in they've sucked the little eggs out with a vacuum and almost to the point of sucking it out they'd want as little time as possible to have gone past before they bring the sperm in because they don't they just want to be inseminated as soon as possible they don't want them swimming around a little petri dish so that's really hard timing because you don't know what's going on in there but you've communicated with a man that like this is about how long it's going to take us.

Anyway, the applause when I woke up for Ben, his timing was impeccable, Brittany. We barely got the egg out and he walked the sperm in and I was like, are we? Sorry, are we applausing Ben for masturbating? I was like, is that where we are in this situation? He's been training his whole life for that moment. Yeah, it's so funny.

When Bridget gave birth, I passed out because I saw blood and I'm not good with blood and I like fell down and the doctor came over to me and she says, like, she leans down and I'm assuming she's going to say like, it happens all the time, it's totally fine. And she just looked at me and went, that is so embarrassing for you and just left me on the floor. Do you know what?

My partner works in situations where he's a doctor. He works in situations where that can happen a fair bit. Yeah. And he genuinely is like, we judge the fuck out of them. Yeah, I felt it. Get out of the way. This isn't about you right now. Well, Ben got a round of applause.

I got yelled at by the doctor, so. Yes. I mean, yes, we do need to applause men more for sure. if you're on youtube if you're on youtube you'll see what i'm doing you'll see one of the most subtle um not quite so you'll ever see but how obviously you were successful it took you many years you end up with your beautiful daughter mabel yep what is uh life been like now that you are a dad and you're in this next chapter it's awesome i love it i don't know how people have two and three kids like matt and laura have just had three are they insane because one is like

carnage like Mabel's really fun at the moment she's really funny and I love hanging out with her but I'm like also a bit of an introvert and like need a bit of private time and a bit of quiet time and I'm just like when are you supposed to do that doesn't happen yeah so the fact that people have multiple is is insane but it is really nice that I'm gonna say it's like the same as a dog like there's someone in your house that doesn't really care about what happened at work or if something at work was just like they don't care they're just so happy to see dad and it kind of just really whatever's going on at, you know, politics, the world, the news, money, whatever.

And then when I walk in, our house has got a really long wooden hallway down the middle of it and the living areas at the back. It is nice. Thank you. But I walk in and I can just like, when she hears dad's home, she just runs down the hallway and it's like this huge event. Like I'm applauded. Like Ben was applauded at the thing like every day.

So every day I get home and I feel like I'm a hero and I get a big cuddle and I'm like a- It's very self-serving. Yeah, it's very self-serving. Well, she gets a cuddle too and Bridget doesn't like having her in the bed and I have to like support Bridget in her stance, but I fucking love it because I'm a cuddler and a hugger and whatever. So just having a little like hot water bottle in the bed

and she like comes in and goes, oh, Dad, can I sleep with you, Dad? And I go, yeah, come. Come in. Was there anything that you realized once you were a parent that you and Bridget like didn't align on or different ways that you maybe wanted to bring Mabel up or, I mean, you're in content as well. Like I know that that's a pretty unique conversation,

but it happens a lot in our world, particularly because of Matt and Laura. Absolutely. Like what are you okay with sharing stories about her? Well, I would have shared everything and anything about Mabel. I would have her plastered, not as if like I'd want to, but I'm like, you know, it's just like an extension of my life is like there's this beautiful little girl that I love. And you're so proud of her and like.

Yeah, like too, like annoyingly proud. I'm like, I just want to tell everyone about how great she is. And Bridget was like, I don't want to put her online and was like the complete opposite. And I was like, oh. And even Bridget herself like doesn't really, like anytime something funny happens at home, I'll like get the phone out and film and she'll just like,

no, like I just don't want to. And now like I've stopped annoying her. But she's like completely different. And so I think we're saying like whoever is the more conservative, they win, right? Yeah. And so that's what we've done. But now that I've thought about it more, I have actually changed my mind

and I agree because, and I mean, we've probably all heard it. There's some horror stories and gross stuff, right? And so now I'm thinking when Mabel's like old enough to decide, like I would love nothing more than for her to like do a podcast with dad or come and be in a thing, but I feel like she needs to decide that she wants to do that and knows like the consequences of it because it's pretty easy for us to just drag them in and just assume they want to be a part of it.

But when she knows, because she knows what dad does and she knows dad works with Tony and like when she's like. And they talk. Yeah, and they talk. And so they're like really cute. And so she knows that, but when she's old enough to decide if she wants to do it, that's what it'll be. But yeah, if I was with someone, like I probably would have

plastered it all over and probably would regret it. It's an interesting conversation because there's a lot of like hindsight applied as well. And I guess, you know, there's an aspect where when you're a content creator, that's how we have built our whole careers, all three of us off of connecting with people through shared experiences and like sharing a different perspective and that kind of thing. And there would be such a world that is opened by talking about the different challenges and different aspects of raising a kid.

But if you have a partner who is a little bit more like, no, I want to keep that private because I fear what could happen with the information. It's a hard line to walk. Yeah. Well, I heard crazy stats. I've started working with the, with AIMCO, which is the australian influencer marketing council and we've just put up we've i didn't do much work of this but the um child and family influencers that put out an information sheet yeah right and guess how many people earn a full-time wage off like children being influencers in the world what like they're not working at all and they're just they earn enough to for it to be a full-time wage in their life i reckon it's actually probably a lot what's what really i think 14 000 people it's their

full-time job it's just like through their kids out on social media 14 000 is so much try them what i thought it would be i thought it would be more if you really yeah if you were talking about worldwide i would have thought there'd be more than that now but that's to the extent of like say laura and matt stopped working yeah and only yeah and so the thing is is and this is the work that we're doing in hollywood and as a trained actress brie you would know there's all these rules about when you're on set a child can only work this many hours there has to be this person's but they find loopholes yeah frankie muniz came on the podcast about all of the the really sneaky loopholes that so they do the sneaky loopholes in hollywood but in influencer

marketing there are no rules yeah they haven't existed they don't exist yet there's also no rules around like money for the for the children yeah so they just brought out in the u.s that in some states if the child's involved the child has to have 15 put into a trust that they can't touch when they're 18 but if you're doing it and again they go cool we'll film in the state across the street and don't have to do that but i guess the the point of the this paper that they've brought out is it's like the start of the process so that a brand an influencer and an agency and the kid it's like we all work off this one set of rules that we can all agree on because as you could imagine like a brand says oh kid do this and the kid goes cool i'll hold up this thing and take

a photo and they don't really know what they're doing and their parents go sweet i'm gonna take some cash and we're gonna buy a new tv and every it just gets really messy because there's no set of like understood we're all gonna abide by these rules there's zero regulations yeah and i know Laura and Matt like we've had these conversations loads of times and so I want to add this in on behalf of Laura but Laura's kids are in a lot of content like everyone knows that if you follow them but they put the money into a trust fund for the kids like that money goes in for the kids she would never put her kids in something if they're not going to earn anything for it and she's pretty strict with what she puts them in she's discerning definitely yeah but she also they also feature

their kids in their day-to-day so like that's obviously a decision that they've made not to hide their kids from just like day-to-day content whereas you know you guys don't want to feature mabel in any capacity but it's it's interesting that there's zero regulations i also think what you just said about the parents could only that could be their only job is the kid making money that's a particular set of circumstances where you are so much more open to exploitation because if you don't have an income that's funding it and they're the only you know we see all this with britney spears's whole family and especially if they come from an area where it's not as financially privileged that kid has to work to provide for the whole family so what you are and

aren't going to be okay with will change because you're like I'm seeing dollar signs and I don't have any other way to get an income for the rest of the family yeah and what gets really murky because it's with brands you know how sunscreen's just gone through a big uproar like it's been really crazy like imagine a brand says this is sunscreen you will not get sunburned some six-year-old says cool I'll hold it for a photo and then people start coming after a six-year-old because they you know what I mean like they can't sign a contract or understand necessarily what it is And then what happens? The brand goes, oh, well, they're the one getting the hate.

Like, whatever, sorry. We got the exposure we wanted and it's fine. And there's sort of no right of reply. There's no insurance or there's no sort of things to protect them. And so, yeah, like it's a slippery slope. So I love watching family influencers. I think it's how cute. And I've got this huge movie coming out when Mabel says it's fine to post

because you know I'm making all these videos and not posting them. But I'm the same. Even if there's something semi-related, we'll put some money aside and I feel like that's only fair. But even like what happens if a kid gets hurt on a shoot, there's no contract. There's no rules about insurance and stuff like that. So I'm spending a lot of time now because, like I said,

Mabel's growing up and might want to do fun stuff like that. So, yeah, that's what I'm doing with AIMCO at the moment, which is really cool. So it's called the Child and Family Influencers Information Pack. Yeah, we can pop a link to that in our show notes. It's a different ever-evolving world, isn't it? But it's definitely a world that needs to evolve because it's like the Wild West out there.

Yeah, it's crazy. Ryan, thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. It's been a pleasure. It's been a pleasure. Sorry that I talk for so long that you've got to get a parking fine. No, I'm not. I was just – every time I looked at my phone in it, I was like just so everyone knows, I was like updating my parking

because I was like, fuck, fuck, fuck, I was talking to a podcaster. We shouldn't have expected this to be any different, though. Like the three of us get in a room, we just yap away. Just yapping away. I've nearly lost my voice by the end of this, which is fantastic. Don't you blame us. I won't blame you guys. I'm actually off to Matt and Laura's now to do Two Doting Dads.

And I actually brought a lasagna from Melbourne and stunk out a Qantas flight this morning with it. To give to them. They're going to enjoy that. Well, we have a rule that you can't turn up to a new parent's house without a lasagna. They're busy. I love a lasagna too.

Yeah. And so did a lot. If you want to be popular on a plane. Well, I mean, maybe. Roll in with a lasagna. You should be saying I shouldn't turn up to a podcast without a lasagna because I could have done with a lasagna. Yeah, right.

Where's our lasagna? Yeah, you say you heard the same elbow joke so many times. I can't tell you how many times from the Qantas staff, and I sat right at the back of the plane, so I had to walk down the whole thing. Seven different people went, got enough for all of us? Yeah, I know. enough rules. And one lady

was like, oh, you can't take that to Sydney. You'll have to leave it here with me in the airport. Please stop. They've got rules and regulations. There's rules and regulations. There's guidelines for that. Look, we've got to get out of here. We'll talk for days. For everyone who hasn't yet seen Tony and Ryan, we'll have links to their podcast on their YouTube. No, don't worry. Like and subscribe

to Life Uncut on YouTube, especially if you're overseas. Yeah, we'll do that YouTube crossover. You need to do that on your podcast. It doesn't help when you do it on ours. If you're already here, then stay. It's been such a pleasure. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. Thanks, legend.