Life Uncut - The grass is greener - or is it?

Episode Date: September 11, 2019

Hi Beautiful Humans! Ready? Because THIS WEEK LAURA WAS ON THE BACH and we dig for inside goss! Also, according to 60 Minutes Megan Markle has lost her sparkle, but we call bullsh*t. Heard of "The grass is always greener? When it's broken down, the grass is greener syndrome is really just an unfortunate byproduct of self-doubt and comparison. And comparison is the thief of joy we say! Loved it? Please leave a review and share the love, because, well, we love love xSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Guys, welcome back to another week of Life Uncut, where we talk about, well, life. Uncut, hey? Uncut. I am Britt. And I'm Laura. And boy, do we have a colourful episode for you this week, starting with the colour green. I don't know if you've heard the saying, the grass is always greener. If you have, fantastic.

If you haven't, well, get out from under your rock, you big fat weirdo, because the saying is actually pretty damn common. I'm pretty sure most people have heard of this idea. I just thought it was a good intro. I liked it. It was a great intro. Thanks for that, Brittany. All right.

Well, let's talk about that later. We can water your grass. I mean, is that what we're doing here? I feel like you're hitting on me, watering my grass. Oh, maybe I am. How do you feel about that? Well, I want to know, what'd you learn this week? What did I learn this week?

Actually, the one thing I wanted to bring up with you was, did you watch that 60 Minutes episode? How Meghan Markle Lost Her Sparkle with Karl Stefanovic. Oh, and that more on Katie Hopkins. Did you, you did watch it? Yes, I watched it. Well, I had to do a little bit of research into who Katie Hopkins actually was because it confused me as to why this woman, who is clearly slightly unhinged, was given a platform.

Her opinions on Meghan Markle became sort of verbatim and became gospel. Well, I didn't really understand why they gave her the platform either. She is actually self-described as the biggest bitch in Britain. Yeah, so if you haven't heard of who this woman is, so Katie Hopkins was the social commentator on this 60 Minutes episode where they were doing this investigative journalism on why Meghan Markle has lost her sparkle. We're using that term very loosely. It was so far from being journalism. It was just flat out bullying. Where Katie Hopkins has come from is she was on the British version of The Apprentice before moving into a media career.

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah. And she's been well known as being quite racist, quite bigoted. And she was quoted as saying that refugees and migrants are cockroaches and feral. And I know, wait for this. And then she also declared that gunboats should be used to stop migrants and refugees from reaching their destinations. Oh my God. So we gave this woman a platform to talk about how she feels about Meghan Markle as though her opinions are in any way valid. Well, do you know one thing that I read actually just to add to that that she has said in the past and she said that ginger babies

quote ginger babies are so much harder to love i did read i'm sorry my niece and nephew are little redheads and they're the cutest little things i've ever seen all katie hopkins offered in this episode was shock value and scandal the whole thing just turned into an absolute witch hunt oh absolutely and then you hear carl at the start he asks her what did megan michael ever do to deserves such hate and then in return Hopkins says everything I don't think this is very good investigative journalism if you're just going to say oh I just hate her I hate everything she does she breathes I hate her well her everything was the fact that she didn't like the clothing that she wore oh that was ridiculous how sexist and ridiculous because I'm sorry but we're not standing

here saying that there's any men that are part of the royal family that we're going to vilify because we don't like their clothing second to that she was having a go about Meghan Markle advocating for climate change. There was another reason why she's so hated because she's been passionate about climate change. It was just the most outrageous. The fact that it had a platform in at all really infuriated me. The thing that really got to her and I heard it said four or five times is that they're doing all this for the environment, but they took four private jets to get there. Well, I'm sorry, do you expect them to get on an easy jet economy flight? Well, I did actually read a statement that Elton John had put out, which sounds so random, but the reason why

they had gotten these private flights is because they were going to see Elton John and they were having an amazing holiday with him as you do when you live this high life social life but Elton John had put out this statement saying that the trips that they had taken to go and see him were actually carbon neutral because they had donated this money in order to negate exactly so it's just crazy it really did feel like an absolute witch hunt to me oh yeah she's a dead set moron and this went viral this Australian segment has gone around the world and there's been a lot of backlash on it on her behalf and Carl's behalf. But also I mean not to sort of drag Carl through the mud because I know that he's had a bit of bad publicity over the last couple of years but even him saying

that they were asking too much to have privacy. What is that hypocrisy in that? Carl has been asking for privacy for the past two years while he went through a very public divorce and then married his now wife and they had the three-day extravaganza Mexican wedding. So how can he be sitting there and conducting this interview, which really just feels like a bullying campaign to Meghan Markle and at the same time say that she's not privy to have any privacy. The irony in it is just outstanding. I really love her, but Meghan, actually Megan, sorry, as the British call her. Meghan Markle. Yeah. Meghan is just pushing boundaries and she's different and people just don't like change and they don't like different they don't also don't want the royal

family to have political stance because those two things seem to be quite contraindicative so they need to kind of pick one or the other but I love that she's carving a new personality for herself and she's standing up for herself and yes it's going to rub some people the wrong way but I don't think that this woman's views as Katie Hopkins views is indicative of the wider population. No, and saying that how dare she become a royal when she's divorced is laughable. Prince Charles and Diana are both divorcees. Exactly. As is Camilla before she married Prince Charles. So let's not let the truth get in the way of a good story. Damn straight. How was your week, Britt? My week was great. And actually, I'm so glad you brought that up

because I wanted to talk to you about that as well. You wanted to talk to me about your week? what have you been doing? No, no, no. What I really loved this week was watching you on The Bachelor. Oh my God. I was on the TV again. I absolutely loved it. How did it feel? Watching myself or doing it? Well, just being back in that situation. Did you get goosebumps and shivers and want to run or? No, I had like post-traumatic stress disorder where I like had suppressed all these awful memories and I was like, oh, I'm back here again. Did you just go home and curl up in corner and start rocking back and forth. I actually really felt for the girls going back in and filming that episode of The Bachelor. So for anyone who hasn't seen the episode from last

week, Snezana and I and Matt and Sam, we both went into the Batch Mansion and we were supposed to be helping our Astro Batchy find love, the right girl for him. It was really weird. We had to interview all the girls and kind of pick one and go and have this like dinner date with. The girls are all really lovely. You can just feel the want that they have to, to not step a foot wrong. They really wanted, yeah, they really wanted to impress us, which blessed them because I remember exactly what that feels like. So I have some questions. I'm just going to roll off the top of my tongue right now, but did you, how long did you get with each girl? Okay. At the start, it was probably about 25 minutes to half an hour. But then as the day got on, we were running out of daylight and

we were running out of time. So speed dating two minutes in and out. Yeah. So I don't think we got very long with Ellie. She was one of the last girls that we chatted to and it was a real quick wham, bam, thank you, bam, get out of here chat. Same with Emma. That was also what felt like a really quick chat. And so did you really feel with Emma, because obviously she's been portrayed to have been in love with Matt the second she laid eyes on him. Did you get that feeling from her? Well, I even said it on the show. I said that she is the sort of person who loves being in love and that I was worried a little bit that she was in love with the environment more so than what she was in love with Matt but I do think she has gotten a little bit of a rough edit because she

seemed so lovely yeah I think she would be really lovely she was she was she was a delight absolute delight and and you know what all the girls that were there were actually really lovely no one at all sort of displayed or conducting themselves in a way that made me think oh you got some problems what about Abby look I like I said on the show I think that Abby was really really eager to please us. And so she would have said whatever she needed to say. I didn't quite think that she was answering the questions in a way that were completely authentic to her. I really did get the feeling that she was answering what we wanted to hear. In saying that, she does not come across as a nasty person at all. She still comes across as being really lovely. She was just super eager

to please. And so I also think that maybe she's getting a bit of a shit at it. Like I think that she's become very very polarizing and don't you think it's interesting we've never had a villain make it so far before yeah this is true so she's made it so fun and i think she's going to go far deal i do too and she's still got this real villain edit where all the girls are against her but she clearly has something very strong with matt and they have this real fiery chemistry but i think it's so interesting because we've just never been in a situation with australian bachelor where the villain has made it so far down the pipeline yeah like she could be endgame i don't think she is but she'd be oh i'm gonna call top three okay so what did you think of the episode

watching it i was so nervous i knew you were nervous because you sort of told me kind of knew it because you told me you are a genius britney laura said to me um don't kill me but laura said to me i'm dreading seeing myself on there again because i'm so like puffy and i'm I said, Laura, hey, you're pregnant. That's not puffy. You're just pregnant. And you just didn't want to look at yourself on there. But I thought you, both of you women, were stunning.

Well, do you know what? And this is such a, I hate saying this now because in retrospect, it was all perfectly fine. But when it came to the day before the show was going to be on, I was so worried that people would pay me out about the fact that I had put on weight. That's what I was worried about. Isn't that the most ridiculous thing?

I thought I was going to get trolled because I looked so different to what I looked when I was on the TV two years earlier because I was 16 kilos bigger than what I was two years earlier. Yeah, but that also speaks volumes about the society we live in today if you're worried that people are going to come out and troll you for being pregnant. I know, but I guess because I felt a bit insecure, which is so crazy because, you know, when I look back on it, I loved being pregnant and I absolutely cherish every moment that I had in my pregnancy. but I didn't want anyone to take that away from me and to say things that were going to hurt my feelings basically. And every comment that I saw was amazing. Yeah, people were really supportive and I'm grateful for that because the social media can be a very dark place and in that instance it was actually really great. But I did actually feel a little bit bad because I called Abby out on her wanting to impress us and wanting to say the right thing a little bit and I didn't want to contribute

to the Abby hating train. I really don't think that she's a bad girl and I do think that although she's very aggressive and she's very competitive, she is copying it way too much at the moment and people need to just back the hell off on social media. Yeah, I think people need to remember that everything you say and write and do

hurts people's feelings and they read it. Abby will read everything like you read everything, like I read everything. It goes to a real person. You watch the TV and then you jump on their Instagram account and you leave a nasty comment. That nasty comment is actually read by that person. And it will stick to them for life, not a week or the day, for life.

So be kind, people. Be nice. Be a nice goddamn person, all right? I reckon the people who are listening to this podcast are pretty nice. Do you know what I loved, though, and slash felt really awkward, was the interrogation party, I mean dinner party. With Matt being like, so tell me how many eggs you have and when do you want to get pregnant and what is your fertility

schedule like what position are you going to do it in how are you going to create this baby tell me everything right now come on we didn't take it down that path please but i did actually feel a bit sorry for helena it did turn into being not so much about like where everyone was was heading with what they wanted in life but it just turned into this big baby making and i do think that there was a little bit too much pressure put on that with having snazana and me in the room yeah I mean, I feel like they should have had somebody that didn't have such a strong opinion. Like, I don't know, me. But why didn't you get invited to that dinner party, Brunie?

Because you'd be sitting there like, love's a fucking joke. Screw this. I still love love. Love is dead. No, I would have gone on there and said, do you know what? I went through so much turmoil and I still believe in love. So if he doesn't pick you, you can still go out there and get it. That's such a lie.

You would have been in there trying to cut her grass and date Astro Batchelor yourself. Yeah, I would have been like, can I just have a word, please, Matt, in the kitchen? Okay, Lou, let's move along. Oh, my God, let's move along. So Emma and Matt had this single date and they had this other awkward chocolate-licking aphrodisiac-injected thing. I think they probably went and injected the oysters that Eleanor and Matt had done into the chocolate and then they ate it and licked it off each other's fingers.

And it was so much. It was so much, wasn't it? I just find this season has been really sexual. Maybe they're trying to Americanize this bachelor because the American bachelor is crazy sexual. But I'm sorry. Remember Emma's last date? It was also feeding each other. There was so much tongue in their kiss.

They just keep feeding each other. Every date they went to the strawberries. Then they had the food tasting where they were blindfolded. Now they're licking chocolate of each other. So there's something we're missing. Well, at least there's a common theme to their date. But I am more, I feel personally victimized by how much of Matt's tongue I have seen. And heard.

I have seen more of Matt's tongue than I have seen of my own Matt's tongue in a very long time. No, it's just when you hear it, you can really hear the sound of them kissing. Well, you feel like the sound department should have done more to cover that up. Did you, have you not heard it? Have you not noticed? You will now. What do you think of their dates? I don't, I'm not feeling it.

I think she's great, but she's not the one. No, he's going through the motions. She's beautiful. I don't feel it at all. She's a babe. Yeah, but that doesn't have anything to do with the fact as to whether they have any chemistry or not. No, I was just throwing it in there. She really, you're so nice, Brittany.

this is brit trying to give like the compliments whenever she she says anything that's negative she's like oh but she's lovely i have to balance it you always do i know it's okay you can bring the bitch i don't mind there's not in me no moving along all right well that's why i'm here okay so moving on to the cocktail party they did this thing where they put a card out it wasn't a date card well there was two cards right yeah they put two cards out and they were like hey ladies oh that was osha ladies matt wants you to use your initiative osha sounds very high pitched and sexy right now yeah so the girls had to fight and go to matt please don't talk like this okay so anyway the girls had to fight over it so sagan took one because she hadn't had much time feckle

yeah they didn't even try and take that away from sagan she's really had no time since that first date and even when i met her she had said that they had a really intense first date and then nothing since and i was like girlfriend you are on your way out that happened on my episode shannon got on my series sorry shannon got the first date and that was it she just didn't get time with him again i'm gonna say it do you know what if you are on the bachelor and you get first date you're not gonna win you're not end game am i gonna bite my tongue on this because didn't alex nation get the first impressions rose i'm just gonna shut up i clearly don't know what i'm talking about i didn't watch that well then abby and ellie sort of like fought over the card because ellie said she really

needed it abby pleaded her case and said she needed more time which i don't understand because i feel like abby has had more time than anybody yeah but i also think that ellie's had a shit ton time too why did china not get any time china has a name but china okay but my issue was is that we were watching ellie and abby fight over this card both of them having the most time in the whole series yeah why was china was just sitting there being like i want everyone to be friends because she's such a delight yeah china is world peace so she just stood aside so abby got it because she's far more competitive and she's far more brash okay can we skip ahead to next episode because I have some strong feelings about it.

But what do you think of Ellie talking smack about Abby? I just think it's – there's nobody left on the bus anymore because they're all under it. Oh, my God. It's so true. It's everyone is just throwing each other. It's just like – it's ridiculous now. Girls, just keep it to yourself and be there for you.

Ellie has kind of character assassinated herself a little bit by doing that. She was so loved and she was such a sweetheart. heart. And then the fact that she's gotten sucked into the drama and that she felt like she needed to take it upon herself to say something negative about Abby. It just doesn't reflect well on the messenger ever. And my other issue is that it wasn't like she sat there and said, hey, Matt, Abby's here for Instagram fame. That girl does not want you. She wants to be famous. She said, oh, I don't think she's ready. I don't think she's this. I don't think she has genuine intentions. that's just not good enough because who are you to say that someone doesn't have genuine intentions

you've got to have some hardcore proof because then Matt was like well do you think you're ready and are your your intentions genuine and Ellie was like yeah I am just kind of seems like you're you're purposely dobbing someone in to better yourself doesn't seem like your intentions are right either it just shows that frustrations are high in the house for everybody and it is you know it's like a pressure boiler in there it just builds and builds and eventually something happens okay so you jumped ahead in that date but eleanor and matt did have a single date that episode and yeah then she freaked out yeah she flew the coop i know and i was like well god damn it girlfriend i picked you for a reason you just screwed it up yeah she had to do a 10-year plan

and that was i don't know why that was so hard for her actually i mean just put something down a lot of these girls are also really young have you noticed yes does it make you feel really old Well, I just, I'm not convinced that at 23 and 24, you, I shouldn't say, you can be ready for sure, but in a show like this, the pressure is so high. The stress is so high. I'm not convinced that people have enough, I guess, life experience or have experienced just enough love and heartbreak and. Yeah, totally. I completely agree. And I know that there will be some people listening who were like, Hey, I got married at 23. I have kids. I know that that happens too. And I know that there are outliers to everything, but the median age for people getting married and having

kids now are 31. So a 23 year old definitely sits outside that. And you know what? It is a really crazy world coming out of doing a reality TV show. You do get sort of thrust into the media and you need to have a level of maturity to be able to cope with what that is, especially to be able to cope with that pressure on top of trying to have a relationship. It adds so many layers to the complexities of a relationship and you're having all the normal problems that you would have in a relationship but you're doing them in the public eye so you do need to have a level of maturity to be able to get through that and to succeed i think i concur thank you yeah i'm speaking from experience because i'm so mature guys just in case you didn't know

she's also a liar yeah thanks brit do you know what i loved and i think this is my favorite one this is my favorite favorite group date my favorite group date drawing i just really had an affinity for the the drag queen who was like conducting the whole art thing I thought she was amazing I just wouldn't even name but she was amazing wouldn't know how to draw my inner drag queen I was actually just really impressed by how good all the girls were at drawing did you see Abby's she definitely looked unhinged and like she was a bit psychotic and probably would stab you in your sleep but I freaking loved it I loved it and I you know I I love Chelsea my only concern with Chelsea at the moment is that I know that she's overcoming these hurdles from her past

relationship it's really endearing and I do think that it's really wonderful of her that she's being so open however I'm worried that if they keep hamming that edit she's going to come across as looking like a bit of a broken bird like just a bit too damaged and a bit too she needs a savior and I think that she needs to be at a point where she's overcome those issues from her past relationships not she's hoping to be rescued by matt this is why i think i can see her at the end because they're really pushing this i don't know if she's ready for a relationship i don't know if she's past the ex and i think they want us to really believe she's not but then boom she's gonna be that environment is going to get to everybody i cried all the time they never showed

it i cried i cried all the freaking time did i tell you about the time that i got so drunk that I bawled my eyes out saying, I'm an independent woman. Yes, you did. Okay, good. Because I still have flashbacks from that and it's hideous. Did I tell you about the one time I cried and it wasn't on camera? I cried and I ran away into the back garden. How did that not make it onto the bloody edit?

Because it was after hours. Like filming had stopped. I just needed some time on my own. I'm so used to being on my own that this finally, the 30 people in this confined space. It cracked you. It cracked me and I ran into the garden and I got a little blanket and I tried to sleep outside and they couldn't find me. They're like, Brittany, Brittany. And I didn't answer

because I just thought, just let me be silent. Just leave me alone. They thought you'd done a full runner. So funny. I mean, like, look, it's a pressure cooker. You know that you're going to be emotionally stretched to your limits. That's exactly what they're trying to do. So then Ellie says she's going to speak to Matt first, but then Abby quickly steals him, drops in on Ellie. There's a bit of a kerfuffle, but then Abby is talking to Matt. Ellie comes up. I'm confused by what you're saying. I know. Essentially, essentially it's this convoluted Matt, Abby and Ellie saga. Well, it's the girl code, right? So the girls have obviously had a conversation before Matt got there about the order. And it's this arbitrary order that they've

put together, which is sort of means that no one's going to be fighting and no one's going to be clambering over each other to get time with Matt. However, Abby, once again, does not give a shit about what's being pre-discussed, she is there for Matt and she's going to do whatever she's got to do to get her man. Yep, and then, long story short, Chyna goes home. I miss Chyna already. Bye, Chyna. I'm really worried about Ellie.

She did the wrong thing by throwing Abby under the bus, even though Abby was the one who started this. Do we all not remember going back to, like, the third episode where Abby was the one who was bitching about Monique and now all of a sudden Matt's like, oh but no one can bitch about Abby but Abby can do whatever she wants. Yeah he's under her spell for sure. He really is. Our astro battery is thinking. I mean she's rocket. Yeah she's beautiful he's got a rocket. Rocket needs attention. The rocket probably does need some attention they've

probably been in that house for a while now. Grass is always greener syndrome. When it's broken right down peeled right back and exposed in all its glory the grass is greener syndrome really is just an unfortunate byproduct of self-doubt. And in a time when everyone's lives are on full display on social media, people are showcasing their highlight reels, every single aspect of their life, their jobs, their relationships, it's normal to be comparing each other. And it's understandable in this day and age that this syndrome is pretty damn common. Laura, what do you reckon? Well, my question is, to what extent is it normal? Because it's okay at some point to be like oh like that person's in Europe I'm sitting at my computer desk this freaking sucks

but what if you're doing that day in day out and you're never at a point where you're happy with what you have because you're always thinking maybe there's something better than this I'm saying I think it's normal for us all to experience at some point but it's how we deal with it and whether you overcome that and don't let it consume your life yeah and I think that some people have this constant lingering this constant doubt where you know they might be in a relationship and that relationship could be great like really the person that you're with they tick all the boxes they treat you well they are essentially providing you with a happy and positive framework for a great relationship but you're too busy thinking maybe there's something better out there or maybe the

grass is greener on the other side of the fence than actually focusing on what you have in front of yourself and nurturing the relationship that you currently have there's a saying that i really love and that is comparison is the thief of joy. Yes. It couldn't be more true because these comparisons, they lead to judgment and prejudice, fear, envy, pride, insecurity, all these evil, negative things, toxic things that we let into our life. And it's all because we sit there and compare our life to somebody else's instead of just looking at ourself and what we have and being happy and content. And I think content is a key word. 100%. We're so obsessed with this concept of happiness. Like we want to be happy. Happy is the end goal. Happiness is something that

really consumes, especially on social media. However, I think happiness has a lot to do with your external circumstances. And a lot of us say things like, I'll be happy when I graduate. I'll be happy when I get a boyfriend. I'll be happy when my boyfriend proposes to me. I'll be happy when I have a baby. So all of these things are projecting happiness in the future, but none of it's talking about what that happiness is right now. So the issue with that, that I have is we should be focusing more on this concept of contentment. Whatever it is that you have right now is what you need to be able to find your happiness in because right now is the only thing that you have control over. Do you know Earl Nightingale? No, I don't, Brittany. Tell me more

about this. He was just a really popular, he was an author and a really popular radio host back in the fifties and the sixties. And he says that the mind is like soil. So it's going to return to us what we plant and if you everyone just think about that for a second the mind is like soil it will return to us what we plant so it's how it's saying how we landscape our own gardens how we tend to our own backyard i like this you're you're using the grass is greener and then the euphemisms that go with this good job i love your appreciation thank you yes but um back to my landscaping it's how you landscape your own backyard and your own grass and how you water that and that's what you're going to get in return. So it's saying water your own soul, landscape your own body.

So instead of seeking to migrate to better pastures, you might say, oh my God, I need to stop now. That was too far. What you need to do is water your own field. But it's so true. Like if you spend so much time projecting what you wish you had, because you're looking at other people's relationships, then that's time away from actually sitting down with your partner and saying, hey, do you know what? I'm not a hundred percent happy with these things. Let's work on that. Let's talk about how we can make that better. I'm actually going to say something here. I am going to admit that as a long time single woman, I have been in a position where I have looked at other couples on Instagram and thought, I wish I had that, even though I have a fantastic life

myself. And I've been jealous of that and envious of that. And you and Matt, you are this sort of relationship goals on Instagram. A lot of people, I think, look up to you guys as this perfect relationship. You had this fairytale ending. Now you had this amazing engagement and you've had a baby and you look, you're both 11 out of 10s. Thank you, Brittany. I come here just so that I can get a self-confidence boost, guys. If anyone else wants to start into my DMs and tell me how great I am, please do because I haven't showered today. So I feel like I need it in my life. In all seriousness, does that put pressure on you or what do you think about that when people are constantly comparing themselves to you guys. It's not pressure because I know that it's not

real. Like, I guess the thing that when you say that makes me feel guilty is that we do post our highlight reels. We do post the best bits about our relationship. And I would hate for someone else to look at our relationship and go, I want what they have and, and not focus on what they personally have at that point in time. Because as much as I love my relationship with Matt and we are as close to being constant happiness that I've ever had in a relationship. That's not to say that we don't fight and it's not to say that we don't have our shitty bits. We just don't put those bits on Instagram. We fight about stuff. Exactly. Why would you? The fact that the nursery has just turned into a complete dumping ground for all Matt's stuff and has been like that for three

weeks and we constantly bicker about it. I saw it last night. It is true. You couldn't even tell there was a baby in there. It's like a tip. I'm pretty sure Marley's been under it for three weeks. We haven't seen her. We thought she moved out. But honestly, you know, that's the sort of stuff i'm not going to share that with everyone except for on a podcast because no one cares okay this is where i think you're wrong i think people now want to relate to this i think we're as a society we're moving in this direction where people want to know other people are going through shitty times too and there's a there is starting to be this movement on being a bit more real and i agree with that and i do think that we are quite authentic in our social media but when it comes to

relationships. I guess my, my reasoning when I say we only post the highlight reel is because if you're bickering, that's, it's not really something that you're going to then go and put on social media purely because that's undermining of your partner. I'm never going to put on social media. Hey, guess what? Today, Matt and I had an argument about something that's trivial and arbitrary and a couple of hours we'll be over it. But that's not to say that we live in this fake pseudo bubble. Yeah. Glossy filtered life. Yes. We, we get to do a lot of wonderful things together and we are very happy and we are very content, but we have our moments as well, just like every relationship is because nothing in life is perfect. And just like you had a really good

quote. I have one too. I'm going to say the quote wrong. And I did write it down because I remembered this. Like perfection is the enemy of good. If you have something that is good, or you have something that is great, trying to make it perfect is going to be the undoing of that. It's like when you see people who get way too much plastic surgery done and you're like, damn you are really hot to start with and you ruin that yeah because you want it to be perfect that's a good quote i'm glad you brought that to the table thank you you can have that actually glad you brought that to the pasture you oh my gosh did that did it make it any greener something that we need to sit back and pay attention to as well is this grass is greener

this mindset it comes from jealousy as well and you need to check yourself because that is just such a negative headspace to get into. It's about a change in mindset. Absolutely. Definitely. About being comfortable with who you are, about aligning yourself with some sort of higher purpose, whether that's a spirituality or whether that's just having things that are outside your relationship that give you purpose as well. Because at the end of the day, a relationship is not a guarantee. You know, we're going to get married and we're going to have another baby. Even if we do all those things, there is no guarantee that in 10 or 15 years time,

we're still going to be together because you cannot control another person. Like if that was my choice, absolutely we would be, but I can't control Matt. And I don't know 100% without doubt that that will be our story because a relationship is never, ever, ever a guarantee. So you need to be happy in yourself. Also need to understand why you're having these thoughts. If you genuinely are wishing you were somewhere else with someone else doing something else, make that happen. If you know in your heart of hearts that you should be learning Italian in Italy, go and do it. Do you not think that that mentality then feeds this grass is greener syndrome? Because it's easier to say to someone, oh, if you want to go learn Italian in Italy,

go. People have family, they have commitments. There are things in life that keep you grounded and keep you here that mean that you don't have that sort of flexibility to run and that freedom to. Well, this is what I mean. You need to figure, when I say figure out why you're wishing you were somewhere else if it's because you've got four kids well of course you're not going to you're only wishing you were there not because you actually want to learn italian but because you don't want to be where you are a bit of escapism i also think that we can fall prey to great marketing as well oh 100 where like we said with social media we're constantly seeing the highlights real we're constantly seeing what you could have and how wonderful your life could

be because we're we're being sold something and then you think about like online dating as well as another completely separate thing is that you might start dating someone but then you can always dip back in and see who else is there who else is available what else is better and it's this fear of missing out almost FOMO it's a thing yeah this fear of missing out that that then contributes to this grass is greener yeah there's always something better yeah and I actually get really bad FOMO with food have you ever had that you know yes you were eating some tasty looking sushi earlier before. I offered it to you. I know, I have to stop myself. I do think that it's normal to think from time to time, you know, what if, what if I had something better, like, and to

question that. I don't think that it's abnormal to have those thoughts. However, if those thoughts become daily and become debilitating, then you either need to do one of two things. You need to stop and think, okay, is this actually my relationship? And there is something fundamentally wrong here. Maybe that's because you're fighting or you're bickering. Sure. Or if those things don't exist and it is just this feeling of like maybe I can get something better then that issue doesn't lie in your relationship that issue lies in you and you need to do some self-discovery and you need to workshop why you have this feeling that you always want something better than you have because you'll never be happy and stop comparing yourself because comparisons all

they do is show us that we're not accepting of ourselves so know that you are enough he's enough and she's on. Now it is time for our favorite part of the episode. It really is my favorite part of the episode. And what's it called? Ask Uncut. Were we supposed to do that together? No, we never do. We never do. So we've had some people write in, ask questions. Usually these are relationship questions and we are going to give our very unqualified advice. Brit, have you picked some questions for us today? Sure have. And it's a goodie. Come at me. hi ladies thoughts on scheduling sex post babies we're really struggling to keep the intimacy alive and we're thinking of trying to schedule it to see if logistically this is easier oh my god i love

this question yes schedule sex so fine at the start when i read this i was like no it takes all the romance out of it and then when i thought it through logistically it makes a lot of sense you don't have a baby you have things that are commitments that are outside of your control i.e. getting up five times a night because you have a crying baby you need to schedule these things because it becomes too hard you'll just not do it if you don't and maybe you don't schedule it like at 5 45 on the second sunday we're doing it maybe you schedule it like hey let's just try and get a sitter for this night and then you know you're gonna have a great dinner a few vinos and you're gonna get freaky why does it have to be such an issue like why does that have to be taken

as a negative if you have to do that in your relationship matt and i have to do it now we We don't have time to have sex willy-nilly. When do you schedule it? Well, Brittany, straight after the podcast. That's how we celebrate bachelor night. Stop it. Wednesdays, Thursdays. No, but everybody don't contact these guys on a Wednesday

and a Thursday night. My phone's on airplane mode. And I would hate to think that that's a negative reflection on our relationship, that that then means that we're not spontaneous and exciting. Like we love each other. Yes, sometimes we have to schedule sex so that we're still having it because we want to and we're excited about it but unfortunately we have real lives that we have to

try and mesh everything together yeah so i'm gonna i'm gonna sit here and say to this person who was written in there is no shame in having to schedule sex so long as you are still making it a priority and you're still both enjoying it and you're still both loving each other god you do what is good for you girlfriend yeah i think schedule it for sure but still keep it exciting just because it's Scheduled. What, like anal? Whoa! No, I just meant like maybe do it in a different place.

Or positioned. Or positioned, but not necessarily different orifice. I really hope that that was helpful. So let's go on to question number two. I'm never asking you a question again. Well, you are because we've got a second question, I'm sure. Come at me, come at me. Question two.

How do you deal with anxiety? I've been cheated on in the past and now I have trust issues. I love and trust my current partner so much, but I just can't help my anxiety making me second guess everything he does. He has given me absolutely no reason to fear the worst, but I still do. Okay. This issue, obviously, and you know, this does not lie in your partner. This issue lies in you.

And this is something that you are going to have to overcome. And it is unfair of you to put that pressure on your partner. Of course, you need to communicate why, and you need to be very open with the reasons that you feel this way, but maybe it would be of benefit to you if you go and speak to someone outside of your relationship, like go and speak to a counselor or go and speak to a therapist and work through the things that are making you project past relationships onto your current relationship. I spoke about this exact thing with a girlfriend today. She said that she's in a new relationship and she had a shitty past relationship. And I said, I'm actually doing this question on

the podcast tonight. But I said to her, what I'll say to you, and that is all that is doing is putting negativity and toxicity into your current relationship. The fact of the matter is if you cannot trust your current partner, you probably shouldn't be with him. And if you're going to waste all your time and energy worrying that he might do something is going to ruin every other aspect of your day and your relationship. But what she's saying is that it's not that she doesn't trust her current partner she does trust him and he's done nothing to make her feel like he's going to do the wrong thing but she inherently has been damaged from a past relationship and she needs to work to overcome that yeah but she says that's why she's second guessing

everything with him but i do you know what i totally understand this like i've came out of a really bad relationship a few years back before i met matt where so did you brit you know where i was cheated on and I was lied to to a point where quite seriously this guy could have told me that the table was brown and the table was sitting in front of his white not that you guys can see it but like he just was so good at lying and lying lying lying that it just made me fundamentally not believe anything I didn't know I didn't know right from wrong up from down and I took a lot of that into my relationship with Matt at the start, but Matt was so good at proving to me and consistently showing me that I had nothing to worry about, that over time that feeling did dissipate.

So maybe it is a situation as well for you where the more that your partner reassures you that they love you, the more that your partner proves to you that they are not doing anything to make you question that they are unfaithful, the more that your trust will be rebuilt and the more that you will be able to grow and overcome this together. I agree with this too, but there's part of me that disagrees. If your partner has to constantly prove himself to you for no reason when he's not doing anything wrong, it's going to wear thin on him very fast. He eventually is going to say, we're not having this conversation again. I haven't done anything wrong. If you're constantly saying, prove to me, I need your reassurance. He's going to get over it. No, but I don't mean

prove to you in like, hi, you need to go through my text messages or anything like that. I just mean like in daily actions that they're not doing anything that would make you second guess. So better to work on that relationship now while you're in it than to be like, cool, I'm out. I need to go do some self-discovery. Yeah. Just have the conversation with him as well. Tell him how you're feeling. I am going to assume if you love each other, he will reassure you and you can have this really honest conversation but i just think you like you said you need to go and work on yourself whether that is speaking to somebody a friend therapist counselor whatever but i don't think you can constantly put it on your partner so guys if you want to have us answer your questions

next week in ask uncut please slide on into our dms on instagram at life uncut and we will do our best to agree on something and give you some sort of answers to your questions at life uncut podcast oh i like that do that again at life uncut podcast all righty then give me your suck and your sweet britney we finish every single episode with our highlights and our lowlights from the week so brit i want to know how's your week been give me your highlight and your low light. I have a real banger for my suck this week. So my girlfriend Renee really ruined something for me. I don't know if you've seen the show Younger. I haven't seen the show Younger. It's Hilary Duff. Is it a recommendation? Should we watch this? Oh, I just binged watched

six seasons. Everyone, this is my recommendation. I loved it. It's so easy to watch. Perfect. I need this. I need some more Netflix in my life. So my suck is the main character, Josh, his real name is Nico Tortorella or something like that. Have you been stalking this guy, Brittany? Potentially. Low-key, yes. Sure. So he has been my hall pass. Now, I don't know if I can have a hall pass because I'm single. I wonder if he's just a pass. He's just my pass. I wonder if he listens to the podcast, which I'm sure he doesn't. But if he does, Britt is thirsty. No, this is the suck. I was telling her how in love I was with this guy on Younger and she said, oh my God, you don't know, do you? I was like, no, what? She pulls him up. He is gay, which is, you know,

cool, but sucks for me. But he's also like really extreme, dresses as a woman. And you just never, ever would have known this from his character. His character is so sexy and straight. And I just can't, I will never be able to dream the same again now. So that was my suck. I love it when people play against their stereotypes. That's great. Good for him. I mean, sucks for you that, that he's definitely not going to be interested in you. But, I mean, I think that this is bloody wonderful. You need to look it up. Actually, I have a picture of him right here.

Yeah, look at that. Oh, my God, he is a sexy man. Holy dooly. Okay, so you're upset. Your suck for this week is that your – Hall pass. Not even your hall pass. That some guy who's on a TV show who you've never met is gay

and is not interested in you and doesn't know that you exist. Correct. Don't judge me. Moving on. Okay, I'm not judging you. I'm just that that was that upset you so much that affected your week so much that that is your suck. I'm still really raw. Okay. Well then what was your sweet? Let's hope that some other hypothetical non-existent character finds you attractive. My sweet was in a supermarket line

and there was this really, really cute old man in front of me. He must've been, I thought you were about to say a cute guy. And I was like, Brittany, this cannot just be about the men that you want to date. It was about 90. He was trying to buy these groceries and he went to pay his, with his f-boss card and he couldn't even put the numbers in the pin to pin it and it was incorrect then the line behind behind me starts to build there's about 20 people in the line now and the woman's like oh it declined you want to try again so he tried again and it wouldn't it declined again so she said oh do you want to go and get some cash out and you can leave your bag here and he opened his wallet and there was one five dollar note in it and he obviously had

no money in his bank because he said oh with his head down he said oh no just just don't worry and started to walk out of the shop and it broke my heart and I said just stop come back I said put I've got it all I've got his groceries and he tried to give me his five dollars and I said you just go and have a great day and I've got you covered because I just it I just thought if this was my parents or my grandparents I hope to god somebody would have bought that the groceries for them so that I could go home and eat oh that's just kills me that's awful it was sort of my suck because it broke for him but um I it made me really happy to know that I had just gone and done my thing well that's your good bit for the week as well it was my good bit but god my heart broke

so if everyone's listening i urge you go and do something good for someone buy them a cup of coffee you're a goddamn saint britney anyway what's yours look at you oh well mine are very trivial in comparison well your first one was pretty trivial the second one was was like godly suck first go i have a blind pimple oh okay and you're sweet it's a really big one it's on my chin and really really hurts i can't even see it it's because it's blind britney oh it's blind it's so sore okay so that's my suck and my sweet is this is also very trivial i made a freaking amazing beef stir fry this week it was so great like master chef level no but i suck at cooking so it was very good for me and i've been dreaming about it all week that's my hey like you know when

you make something so good that you crave it every meal after that that was my sweet guys once you a baby what gets you going changes drastically yes it is blind pimples and beef stir fry because now laura is dreaming about her stir fry well anyway sorry guys i had to put you through all that solid chat we've both had pretty good weeks guys if you have loved this podcast which obviously you have because you made it this far that or maybe it was just going on in the background and you're like wait those girls are still freaking talking please subscribe hit five stars and leave a review it's really important because we're such a little independent podcast and that is what helps people to find us.

So spread the goddamn love and tell a friend because we love love.