Life Uncut - The Ick

Episode Date: June 22, 2020

Ok, so you’re cruising along, totally smitten. You’re like a loved up teen. Can’t get enough of each other, spend all your time together, text all day, spoon all night, can’t believe your lucky stars that you’re with this gorgeous human that you’re low key obsessed with.Or maybe you’re in a long term relationship with the love of your life. Your penguin. Your human. Then, BAM! Out of nowhere and when you least expect it it hits you with a run up, you’re repulsed. You’re Annoyed. The way they laugh makes you queasy. The way they speak gives you shivers, and not the good kind. And you can no longer stand the thought of being around them. Ladies and gentleman, you’re experiencing ‘The Ick’. We are going to break it down and discuss the different stages and the level of “Ick seriousness’, if it is salvageable, if you should jump ship, or if you’re just overreacting and have your own commitment issues that you need to address.Get it in your ears, join our Facebook discussion group, hit 5 starts, leave a review (gosh we are demanding today aren’t we) and shore the love, because, well, we love love! XThanks to today’s sponsor adore beauty and their beauty IQ podcast, where no beauty topic is off limits. From retinol to butt hair, these are your girls!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bring me a good old Britney special. What's that? Actually, what's a Britney special? Just a good solid laugh. Well, you know that's going to come. Alrighty. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. Sorry that we couldn't make it last week, and we missed our Ask Uncut special.

I'm going to straight up blame Laura. Yeah, well, fair. Okay, I'm actually, I'm going to take that back, that was mean. I am going to blame Laura. Oh yeah, good taking it back there, Britt. That was solid. No, I'm going to blame Laura. Let me finish my sentence.

I'm going to blame Laura, but I'm not going to pretend I wasn't slightly relieved because I was the most snowed under I have ever been and when you pulled the pin I was like it's okay hun we'll make it work and I was like hallelujah you were like oh that's yeah yeah you have been sick we shouldn't do it don't push yourself really you just take care of yourself babe now I understand where it really came from honestly I mean I would have done it obviously because I'm a team player but I was relieved for sure well guys you know that we hate missing an episode but sometimes life gets in the way which is why we're bringing you a cracker episode today. But you were crook right? You had the flu. Yes I complained about it on the last episode or complained about it on this

episode. I had a flu or a cold or something that was just hanging around. Yeah. It just wasn't a fun week. Yeah. And then on the weekend it was Marley's birthday. Yes she's one which I'm mind blown. This has been the longest and also the shortest year of my entire life. It's wild to me that she's one but also i feel like i haven't slept for an entire year i don't think you have i just can't believe because i remember when we started the podcast she was in your belly and we were talking about how we only have a few months before she pops and all of a sudden it's her first birthday she's going off to college she's got a boyfriend i walked in on them the other day it was really awkward she's got a tattoo i did see her like cuddling up to

another little toddler yeah that little cousin was that a cousin oh on instagram yeah yeah it was her cousin okay i actually used to have like a love affair with my cousin when i was one two three we were i'm so glad that you like put in there the age oh yeah it's really great love affair with my cousin when i was 13 yeah it was very formative but um you watch them you watch them cut that sentence it'll be a headline soundbite britney has awkward relationship with cousin thank you daily mail no but we he was my cousin and um we were the same age we were very very very little but we just loved each other we used to hold hands and like lean in like you know when you're a meter apart and used to lean in and like peck on the lips

and stuff we have photos like that i'm like mama why did you like why did you allow this to happen like this is like this is added to my adult trauma i'm still living through this is the reason why i can't get a boyfriend i've been in love with my cousin shit's getting really weird really quick on this podcast i can guarantee so many of you listening right now have loved what you've loved a cousin or something for sure it's that's fine because it's innocent oh wow it can only go up from here guys what else have you done well look i'm gonna sit on marley's birthday for a little while because it was like it was a really big milestone but i think more of a milestone for me like she's definitely not gonna remember her birthday but i'm like

this is the year this is the day that my entire life changed and will never ever go back to what it was well first birthdays they're more for the parents aren't they they're more for the adults to celebrate do you think yeah it's like I am celebrating the fact that I am actually a responsible adult and kept a whole other human alive for an entire year like that shit is worth celebrating yeah right with many roses thank god Nana was there to be the responsible adult for the day how was your weekend oh my i'm just gonna straight up complain i am so exhausted i have had the biggest work week of my entire life i went to work at 6 a.m and i came home two days later and it's just it's just been nuts um my saving grace is that i was doing it with my sister we

on the same shifts together but um the hospital has been mental and I just haven't felt this fatigue in a really long time and I'm not a complainer guys I'm always a hard worker that's fine but this is next level I just went to sleep I sat on my bed right to meet Laura I sat on my bed I don't remember closing my eyes it was 20 minutes I was drooling I was passed out cold then I get a message from Laura being like hey babes like you coming up and I was like oh my god I had like crease on my face wiped the drool off ran up here but other than that like that's literally what I did what didn't help is before I knew these manic shifts were coming a friend of mine was like come and meet me for a drink I was like fine but I have the biggest week of my life ahead

I'm gonna go for one drink and I'm gonna be home early that went to about midnight I got home at midnight I'm in my new apartment I'm in my bathroom with the window closed and I hear someone say Brittany now this is frosted glass you can't see into my window wait you're in the bathroom I'm in my bathroom are you in the shower no I'm in the mirror about to take my makeup off in I'm not in the mirror I'm looking in the mirror next to the window windows frosted glass the lights on and I hear this Brittany I was like what lift the window I put my head out and there's a full-blown party next door and I'm looking at these people but the lights are in my eyes so I can't identify them And I was like, did you just call my name?

And they're like, I don't know. Is your name Brittany? And I was like, yeah. They're like, oh, get fucked. And I'm like, well, no, like you know that because you just said my name. And they're like, we actually didn't. We just saw a shadow. We just picked it.

We literally picked a name out of thin air. They swear to God that they just picked a random name and said Brittany. And I was like, oh, well, that's weird. That's my name. And they're like, you want to come over? And I was like, sure. oh my god i went back downstairs and just went over to this party they're like oh i'll meet you at the front because i'm really big on being like sometimes the best things come from saying yes

okay that was a huge mistake so i walked down to this party now because they're bright party lights were in my eyes i couldn't see who i was talking to but there were a bunch there were like seven guys a few chicks and i was like what's the worst that could happen i'll go to this party i'll make some new friends this is the middle of the night as well yes correct midnight okay then i get down to the party and the guy that meets me me i couldn't he had a lot of facial hair he was a bit drunk he had a hat on i couldn't really identify him or his age britney ends up at a swingers party no i would be like leave your keys in the bowl right here and take your pants off her swingers party would have been

better I walked in and it is packed this is a proper party they've got a DJ there's probably 60 70 people in this huge house and I'm like this could be fun get down the back and he's like do you want a drink I was like that'd be great I'm standing there in in like a turtleneck we all know I love turtlenecks I'm standing there in like a cashmere turtleneck all my gold jewelry I had the most beautiful expensive trench coat on he goes what are you doing take your coat off and I'm like, before I came in the house, he's like, take your coat off. I'm like, it's fine. I like my coat.

I don't want my coat to be stolen. He's like, I'm going to get you a drink. And I start to look around the party. I'm like, oh, my God. I reckon the oldest person there, oldest was 21. Oldest. These people had to have been 17, 18, 19. I was like, I look like the mum that's come to check in on the kids.

I was like, oh, my God, I need to get out of here. I was like, but he's getting me a drink, so I'll just wait. He pops his head back around the corner. He's like, hey, babes, is a beer fine? And I'm like, yes, just give me something quickly because I was just standing there awkward. I was like, a beer's fine. I'm surprised he didn't come out with like a cocksucking cowboy

or like a bloody Smirnoff Black. He comes back and he's like, oh, we're actually all out of everything. And I was like, you know what? It's probably time for me to go anyway. I walked to the front door. He walked behind me, tried to kiss me. I was like, guys, this cannot get any worse. I just like ran.

And now they know where I live and that's the end of my story. so anyway sometimes saying yes isn't the best idea wow yeah i didn't even know i was going to tell that story until i happen these are the crazy things that happen when you're single and you live alone and that's never gonna happen to me as far as i know no you'll be the person that pokes your head out and he's like can you turn that down i will call the fucking police if you don't turn that music off stop calling for britney i'm very angry at her right now and then do you know something even funnier well it's not funnier it's weird like i woke up in the morning it was i had to go to work at 5 a.m i woke up and i was so mad i was like i can't believe this party is still

going i could hear the music still blaring i was like this is ridiculous i walk out into my living room and it was me the tv had turned itself on i'm not kidding i think i have a ghost the tv turned itself on put it on to an abc music channel and at full ball was blaring music and it had gone all night so now my neighbors think i'm a party animal i thought it was the next door neighbors the whole time i i don't think you have a ghost i think that you probably have a ruined tv from the time that you flooded your apartment but live and learn baby live and learn well it sounds like you for someone who's worked so much this week you have actually had a very very eventful weekend yeah anyway other than that oh oh i will tell you something oh dear god it keeps coming oh god make

stop okay so like this really shit thing happened I went I was feeling a bit like oh I'm gonna live on the edge you know parked in a one-hour park anywhere in Sydney I feel like that's living on the edge I had to go do some errands I was walking back to my car I knew I had been about one hour and six 6.5 minutes oh really dancing with the devil I was dancing I was like oh my god please don't let me have a fun walked up to my car I could see the little flap I could see it flapping gonna win i was like yeah kill me walk up to it pick it up 220 for the six minutes over and i was beside myself i was like i just you know when you're just so defeated i was like i just can't anymore went to unlock my car to get in it wasn't my car it wasn't my ticket i was like

i was like i was like beep to open the door and didn't open and i had this i looked back down the ticket looked at the red zone the car looked at the car and I was like hallelujah it's not my car I put this poor person's ticket on and ran two cars up to my car that had no ticket I was really on a roller coaster with you then roller coaster oh anyway my emotions there were a lot of emotions in a really short period of time I didn't really know what to do with it but I'm kind of jealous that you can have such a busy week and yet still so many things happen to you the most exciting thing that I've done in the last week is that Matt and I opened a joint bank account our first one was that after our episode yes congratulations thank you guys we're fully

fledged adults now we parent a child and we have a joint bank account so would you say you're official now I would say that we are a proper couple you know a child wasn't enough but having a joint bank account has really solidified our relationship thank you now you can see what each other buy that's the dangerous thing oh no no we're still going to get our wages into our own bank account don't be crazy before we get into accidentally unfiltered do you want to tell the people what the episode is about oh yeah have you ever been in that situation where you are smitten all you can think about is this person all you want to do is see them and speak to them and make out with them and when you're with them you just want to roll all over them and touch them and be

affectionate and do everything with them when you're not with them you're messaging them you're sending them carrier pigeons you're talking to them constantly then all of a sudden you find them repulsive that's a real bait and switch there wasn't it well that ladies and gentlemen has a really technical name and it's called the ick yes and that's what we're going to talk about today the ick but before we get into the ick we are going to give you our favorite part of the episode and you know what that is ladies and gentlemen the one gentleman who listens to this podcast i know i think there's there's 12 percent wait have you actually looked at the figures of our podcast or is this just a Brittany guest? No, it is. Yeah. Hey, I'm on the back end. I'm

the business end, mate. We got, we got men. All right. Good. I reckon men would listen to this podcast to try and figure out what women want. Well, they should, if they're not. There you go. Tell your boyfriends. Actually, just on this, we got a message today, which was from somebody who has been listening to the episodes and she, she wrote it in as an accidentally unfiltered, but it was more about her fiance. And she says, today I discovered that my fiance didn't know that women have two holes down there like he thought that we peed and he uses the same holes how many men he thought you peed and had sex and did everything everything just one hole it's a it's a sexy pee baby making hole of magic oh my god how many men do you think are walking around

on planet earth who don't realize that women have two holes three holes i actually make one for the number twos i thank god i actually think more men than not would think that i think more men would think there's that that one hole i have a feeling matt thought this when we first got together because i remember saying something to him and him looking confused but being like yeah yeah i know you're talking about like playing it cool but i have no idea should we get him in just to ask him yeah hey matt i could get it okay coming to the mic matthew johnson thank you for this cameo i've just i've just pulled him out from the lounge room into the bedroom matthew johnson how many holes do you think a woman has 12

no really how many some have 12 others have 10 how many holes i used to between your legs we're talking about specifically i used to i used to think it was two i think it was when we got together you still thought it was two no i didn't when did we have that conversation i i had this very vivid memory of talking about it and you at one point being like yeah nah like i knew that for a lot of guys it's a big mystery i remember in high school guys sitting there going like how many do you reckon i reckon seven how many do you reckon there's gotta be like one but don't you do sex ed like you literally do a whole sex ed class where you look at vaginas wouldn't you want to look at the vagina and like don't you all talk about you don't you talk amongst your friends

as teenage boys being like i want to make sure i'm really good at sex and i know what to do when the moment happens so you learn about it or do you just wing it i think we had sex ed i think it was half an hour of learning what a condom was and that was it there was nothing else all my guy mates in high school we just had no idea like let's let's give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you already knew when we got into a relationship at what age do you think you were when you realise that I don't piss out of my cervix? When did you realise that? Where's that hole hidden?

Honestly. He still doesn't know whether I have it or not. I'd have no idea where it is. It's there somewhere. God knows. All right, ladies, for everyone who's listening to this, please go home and ask your men or the man closest to you. Maybe it's your dad.

Don't ask your dad. You have to ask them how many holes do they think a woman has because I don't think that these listeners are alone. I think that there are a lot of men out there who have absolutely no clue. No, I think I was – I can't say an age, otherwise it'll end up – In Daily Mail. Daily Mail. Okay, wait.

Question for you then about the male anatomy. On average, how many sperm will be in a guy's ejaculation? 3,221. Thousands. I have no idea. hang on let me google it holy shit holy shit we just googled it um googled it and the answer is on average each time a man ejaculates he releases nearly 100 million sperm wow 100 million thank you dr google that's a lot of little swimmers uh anyway so thank you thank you for your cameo

matt please go back to the can i cook dinner now yeah okay great good chat big shout out to all the lifers out there hope you're having a great day um i look forward to chatting you guys next time all right bye maybe we should do an episode where we get questions written in and from a man's perspective matt can answer them look we'll interview him one day properly because that was really rogue okay well look that idea sounds great but considering he's admitted he didn't know how many holes a woman has i don't know how great matt's advice is gonna be look we're not saying that you have to take his advice I think it would be nice to hear things from a man's perspective so then we can tell him how wrong he is I think so too which is how we run our relationship anyway

we can have a panel of men who don't know what they're talking about actually why don't we have two men because that way they might have different opinions all right let's go to accidentally unfiltered that was a rogue section so accidentally unfiltered you know what this is it is our favorite section of the podcast it is when you write in your most embarrassing stories and we all laugh at you anonymously of course but honestly we love it so so much we we we feel for you and your embarrassment, but also we're here for you with the lols. And they've been coming in hard and fast the last week or two, haven't they? Well, last week we kind of put out there that we were thinking about doing a whole Accidentally Unfiltered episode and it was

received gloriously. You all want one. We will put one together. It's in the works. All right, hit me with number one. Okay, I love this for a multitude of reasons. She starts by saying, I make my boyfriend listen when we're in the car and he laughs along and nods at your great advice too he actually really loves the show i have an accidentally unfiltered embarrassing moment for you but i do have to admit before i tell you it took me a really long time before i realized that all these stories weren't britney's stories she thought every act she must have thought i was a fuck dad she thought every single accidentally unfiltered was from me why would she think that they're all from you when i tell half of them as well i'm so

perplexed like I know guys we've gone up to a lot of crazy shit in our lives but I can tell you that this is not all our crazy shit can you imagine if they were all mine no wonder I've been single 10 years have some faith in me girl okay so I finally got out to grab a coffee this morning and as I was waiting I noticed that the barista was really cute I'm in a happy relationship but you know I'm not blind it's a really small cafe so he took my order and then he said hey before you go can I grab your number I laughed and I was so flattered and I said look I'm really flattered and I'm sorry but I have a boyfriend and I'm really happy with him but it's really sweet thank you he laughed and replied oh no it's for the coronavirus tracking so we can contact you if

someone else here has it. I was so embarrassed I apologized and walked outside to wait for the coffee there but then I ended up in my car all of a sudden I drove home without my coffee now I can never go back. She didn't even take her coffee. I love that she has a boyfriend and she was still so embarrassed like just I actually think that's funny imagine imagine that happening imagine you being like I'm so sorry I've got a boyfriend he's like what dude it's just for like a reservation like a message oh god I love that so much do you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna call it on this guy's ass I reckon he maybe had asked for your number and then that was his reaction to being rejected try and think of it that way that's super optimistic but every place I every cafe

cafe and restaurant I've been to recently I've had to write my number down so I think I think it was just possibility there that this was misinterpreted and actually he thought you're a babe and he's really embarrassed and he's running around with his tail between his legs and you know what girlfriend you've still got it even though you got a boyfriend you've still got it it's actually one of my favorite ones we've had all right okay so accidentally unfiltered number two a few years ago I went on a family holiday with my parents to visit my sister one night when I was out with my sister she took me to a gathering to meet some of her friends this is where i met a hot guy and we hit it off with my sister's blessing we agreed to go on a

date the following night we watched a movie at his and then we ended up sleeping together after we finished having sex he walked outside butt naked and sat on the veranda stairs to have a smoke still naked i walked out and went to sit down next to him but because it was dark i didn't realize that where i was going to sit wasn't actually the stairs but the edge of the veranda I fell two meters to the concrete below onto a gas bottle I lay there stark naked bleeding from my back and my arm while the poor guy was screaming oh my god this is actually like dangerous yeah it is but it's kind of funny did she die the guy is screaming naked and comes racing down the stairs thinking his one night stand is dead and she's naked they're both nude after I managed to get

my breath back I asked my clothes and for him to drive me back to the hotel I was staying at we've literally never spoken again oh I'm actually concerned for the girl well I'm glad that she's well enough to tell the tale and can laugh at herself and her own misfortune a two meter fall naked onto your back onto a gas bottle it could have exploded oh my god just imagine doing it no imagine doing it clothed guys they are so brilliant thank you for writing them in please keep them coming and I feel like every week we read one it triggers something in someone someone's like oh my god that reminded me of mine and you write it in and that's what we want keep them coming so we can keep bringing you the lol fest beautiful Brittany beautifully said thank you

thank you so much um now let's get into the episode okay so guys this episode we're talking about the ick and it's that feeling and I think most of you have had at some point in your life if you haven't had it yet, you're really lucky and I hope you don't get it. I have had it. Laura, I know you've had it. It is just that feeling that hits you like a ton of bricks when you think you're in love and lust and you're in this amazing relationship and you can't get enough of each other. And then one day, bam, you just can't stand them anymore. I reckon so many people have gone through this and that this is such a relatable topic, but I just don't reckon that many people know the name of it or like haven't, haven't given it a title before.

The really technical name. But this really technical name, which has been coined is the ick. And because we're being so incredibly technical with this name and everything, I want to read you the definition of the ick from somewhere, which is a very reliable source where we get a lot of our information from. And that is the urban dictionary. Oh, I thought you were going to say Daily Mail. You could be on the crypts with a guy or girl. Everything seems to be going fine. you think you like them but then you suddenly catch the ick from then on you can't look at

the person in the same way you just progressively get more and more turned off by them weirdly and maybe for no reason in particular just grossed out by them you'll cringe at the thought of you and them together nothing will be the same you won't be able to do it any longer and eventually you're gonna have to cut it off this originated well they say it originated from love island courtesy of olivia from love island and i'm guessing this is the american love island so we haven't really got access to it but there was also an episode in friends that was the original friends there you go well it was when monica i don't know if you guys i mean we all know that laura prefers seinfeld because she's a psychopath yeah we all know that i've not actually seen the

episode and i was just going off the articles i've read so i was just kind of running in the wind there guys you guys remember when monica was like 25 and she was dating a guy that was younger he said he was like 19 or 20 or something so she lied said she was 22 she was super into it they were hooking up and then all of a sudden he told her he was only 17 he was underage and that is when she says she has the ick and this was a long long long long time ago and that is actually where it originated but it was thrust back into our faces from love island it's a feeling and a sensation that we've always known but we've never ever been able to label it so all it's done now is give it that label Brittany tell me a time when you've caught the ick oh I had the ick so bad

it's only ever happened once and I actually feel bad for saying it like I still feel bad to this day because this person was really great really nice did nothing wrong really I mean we just didn't get along but what happened was I was dating this guy but I wasn't dating him for very long we were pretty new we were long distance so we didn't know each other that well but that means infatuation was it was easy and effortless because we spoke on the phone we sent our messages every few weeks would have a great weekend in Sydney I also think sometimes when you're doing that sort of long distance it almost amplifies and intensifies the relationship a little bit where like they become even more desirable because you're not being exposed to them all the time so it's

like that distance makes the heart grow fonder kind of thing exactly so I had decided to go on a holiday so I'd booked a trip from and just by myself and he says well you can't go by yourself like why don't I come and I was like well no I can go by myself like that was the plan until I met you type thing he's like look I can get leave I'll come and I thought okay this could actually be fun we booked a trip we went to America which was not on my list I went there for him because he really wanted to go we were going for five weeks oh god three days in and I just woke up and I had the ick so bad that I couldn't even look at him. I can't even explain it.

We'd had an argument the night before and then I just could not even look at him. I was like, I can never touch you again. And I had no choice. It was so severe that I couldn't even try and ride it out for the holiday. Like I couldn't even wait another day. Not a day. We're in Vegas. You're so dramatic.

I'm done. I have to run away from this man. Oh, no, that's what I did. The last thing you want to do is be on a holiday with someone and get the ick. so i say to him i can't do this and i mean we're not years down the track it was early days i was like hey like this isn't working for me he's like he was beside himself he was really upset he was crying and britney who's obviously really has high emotions not just was looking at him and he was crying i was like i'm sorry like this is over were you like almost more repulsed by the fact that he

was crying at the time i was i was just even more turned off by you now yep in my head i was just like make this stop and leave I was like in my head I was like end it and get out anyway so I said look it's not gonna work if you want to keep traveling together as friends because we planned a trip uh that's fine we can travel together as friends and he I think he didn't realize how independent I was how much travel I'd done on my own uh and he's like the only way we're traveling together is if it's together as boyfriend girlfriend so if you don't want to be alone then you're gonna have to be my boyfriend like he was always trying to bribe me and I was like oh that's cool okay no worries I'll leave tomorrow and he was like what and I was like yeah like

I'll just replan the trip I was like I would rather be on my own than have to have sex yeah I knew that he wasn't a big traveler and he hadn't done a lot on his own and I did feel bad for him that's why I said if you want to keep traveling his friends like we'll do that um so I let him keep the trip basically and I just rearranged everything and I left the next day and I'm not kidding I never saw him yet like that was it just like I just I just went on a five-week holiday through America by myself at the time of my life I ran into him like two years later but that was it and I can't to this day I can't put a finger on it I can't put my finger on it but I remember I remember looking at him and it was the way he was speaking it was the way he was delivering it

it was everything about him and it just changed in a heartbeat so I just that was it I dumped the poor guy in america and off i trot well i think that that's the whole concept right of this like catching the ick is that it it kind of can be something that turns it turns almost instantly like it could be because of something they said but it could also be because of like a habit it could be because of some like the way they look maybe it's the way they eat their food like it's something that seems very insignificant that has an extremely significant reaction from someone oh he used to do really bad whiz pops i remember that that was a real turn off you don't like people farting around you whiz bobbing farting mate you would not get along with Matthew Johnson

very well I have I've learned to love him in all of his imperfections well he's a beautiful man what's your what's your ick story is it similar okay I have a few ick stories but my first one and the one that I think is the biggest one is is I was dating this guy he was a friend of my friends and and I'd heard about him quite a bit and they were like trying to trying to set us up on this date and then by chance we actually ended up matching on tinder anyway and so we went on a date and i was like i think this guy is amazing i think he's so great and then we went on a few more dates and honestly like he was he was such a great guy and um then we had sex this one night so so we we had like i was the one who was disgusting like i am the one who

i am the one who should have been dumped after this like i rocked up at his house drunk I was you booty you went for a booty call I went to his house for a booty call and was like sloppy and gross and anyway he was a total gentleman I mean he had sex with me but he was still a total gentleman I was sloppy drunk and gross he still had sex with me but he was a gentleman he was a gentleman this is the cheesecake story all over again I mean I wasn't so drunk that I don't remember the sex like I remember the sex and it wasn't good and I woke up the next day and it was like a cloud had just been lifted I imagine it's like how guys feel sometimes when guys are just in it for sex, but I wasn't originally like I was, I actually thought that we were going to end up

dating. I actually thought that we were going to end up in a relationship, but I woke up that next morning and I was like repulsed by him. Just was not attracted to him anymore. Knew I didn't want to be in a relationship with him. Like could not get out of that house fast enough. I don't know what it was. It wasn't necessarily the sex. It wasn't him. It wasn't me. Like I couldn't pin down what it was about the whole situation that I didn't like, but there was something about him that switch had just flipped and I was I was out of there and I think that like that feeling is something that probably a lot of women and I think more women than men have experienced in different relationships and dating when just for no reason all of a sudden you were totally off

the guy who a week earlier you were all over did you get up and leave like never like without speaking to him no like we had our morning pleasantries and then I then I left but I was like don't touch me yeah and prior to that we'd been texting all the time we'd been very very flirty and then the thought of kissing him I was like oh did it happen because the sex was bad well I mean but then like I'd been drinking so maybe I feel like I feel like I could have given him another chance and that would have potentially been better but my physical repulsion to giving him it was like there was a full-on blockage there I couldn't do it yeah so I don't know and I don't know where it came from and I don't know what it is. But the more research that we've done

on this specifically for this episode, guys, is that the ick is something that there is an underlying psychological reason as to why you were turned off that person. And it's like a visceral gut instinct. So, I mean, we talk a lot about believing in your intuition and following like what your intuition tells you. And it could be a case that your moral values don't align. And instead of like you being very conscious and cognitive of that, there is like this gut and guttural instinct and reaction so you may be almost like pinpointing small and insignificant things but there's actually an underlying reason that's a much bigger and much more profound reason as to why you've been turned off this person it's funny that you say you bring up these gut instincts

because did you know that humans we are the only species like the only animal that doesn't listen to our gut instinct it doesn't listen to our natural instincts fight it we're the only ones that are like oh maybe maybe it's not right maybe i'm overthinking it maybe we can work through it whereas every other animal i mean we have so many nerves and and so many sensations in our body that work together for a gut instinct and that's why animals listen to them for for fear um when a predator's coming when they just know something isn't right we're the only ones that are like ah there's so many red flags maybe we'll just keep working through that i think the problem with that is that because we have such a strong sense of being which comes from like our like ability

to think things through and rationalize things so if you're having these gut reactions to something but you can't rationalize why you're feeling them or thinking them your brain almost wants to to take power in that situation but I guess sometimes your thoughts and your and your um intuition they're they don't work together they almost work against each other it's like when people say like your heart and your head are working against each other it's the same thing like your gut and your head are working against each other. Yeah. And you and I do always, we are big advocates for go with your gut instinct. Like if you really do have that deep, deep guttural feeling, then it is probably worth listening to. Your intuition as well is like, and we've said this

in past episodes, but it is your body's danger response. It's your body telling you that something's wrong. And it's your first very visceral response to kind of like be aware of what's happening in a situation. So I think we have always said that you need to really listen to your intuition and prioritize those feelings because they're very rarely wrong unless you're somebody who has commitment issues but if if it's a feeling that you've had about someone or about something I think that those feelings are presenting themselves for a reason and we need to pay attention to them I had when I was in this relationship with the sociopath for two years episode number three episode three so I dated a sociopath I had that gut instinct the whole time

from day one and I buried it the whole time because I just thought I was I just kept telling myself you're overreacting you're making things up there's no way you know just embracing for what it is he's been so great to you he's treating you so great he's buying you all these things um but I'd be lying if I didn't say that my gut was telling me that it was wrong from day one and I just ignored it. And I think a lot of women who go through really difficult and men who go through really difficult relationships and really difficult experiences can look back and acknowledge that there was some inkling, like there was some intuition there. And I think some people are way more attuned to it than others, but I do think as a general rule, like we know that something's up,

like you, you, you know, from your partner's behavior, you know, from like the way that they're they're interacting with you you know from the way that they're dealing with like phone calls or their phone or like all different things we're kind of getting a little bit off topic from the ick but i think like we've said it time and time again but intuition is just such a strong factor that you need to listen to and that plays into this concept of the ick yeah okay so there's a big difference between like what laura laura and i just discussed our personal um ick issues situations and that was that laura had hers what two nights in you just you just knew him two weeks yeah come on I wasn't sleeping with him on the second day I thought you said it was the one night

stand well we dated for a little while it was the first time we had sex okay okay so you had yours you weren't with him you weren't in a relationship it was two weeks but I reckon the ick happens often after having sex what did he do to you I got the ick from another guy after I'd had sex with him and that was because he had a very questionable penis and I was like I can't date that penis for a long time what do you mean what do you mean it was what was it questioning it just wasn't for me i can see you i can look at you now and you're literally weighing up do i do this or do i not i'm just still repulsed by it like the shape like a visceral reaction it was like tell the people at the back a strand of spaghetti

oh my god I know and now I feel like I'm dick shaming people but it's honestly just I couldn't do it guys how many times an episode do Laura and I look at each other and say should we delete that sure I delete that am I gonna talk about it after look I mean it's not nice it's not like it's not a PC thing to say and I'm sure there'll be another woman out there who does want it but for sure it's different for everyone people want different things totally but I'm absolutely sure that there are other women out there who have had sexual experiences with a guy and then they've decided after that like whoa this is like not for me for whatever reason and I think that there is I really do think that it can be strongly tied to sex and because that's when like that's when

something shifts in a relationship as well that's when the power dynamic shifts that's when physically the relationship shifts so I do think that there is a lot of this conversation that's tied up in sex there's this idea of you get the ick and you have to leave and you can't overcome it because it's just like no moving past that but the further we dug and the more research we did the more psychologists we chatted to we found out that that's not necessarily the truth you don't have to get the ick and it doesn't have to be the end because there are different levels and different stages whether it happens at the beginning or long term when you're married when you're first dating whether you're official it doesn't have to be the end so we're going to just chat about that

well i did actually read a really interesting article as well which is going back a little while now but it's called the ick is bullshit and we've got to stop using it as a reason to break up so this article was on pedestrian by a journalist named melissa mason and the whole premise behind this and what she's saying in her article is that saying that you automatically decided one day that you're no longer attracted to someone is like incredibly superficial because we live in this day and age now where we have zero patience and she's written on this you know she blames this on the internet, on smartphones, on social media. We can get information in minutes. It's made us impatient little bitches. We want promotions now, money now, and love now. And the thing with

relationships is they grow. They don't just magically sprout into phenomenal intimate love fests. And I think that there is truth to this as well. Like I do think that you have to identify in yourself and you're going to be the only one who knows, have to identify whether you've caught the ick over super super superficial reasons and something that you could actually overcome or is it something where your moral and your judgment values are actually not aligned or personality values whatever it is there's something of your core beliefs that aren't aligned they're two very different things and one of them is you're going to be able to get over and maybe your feelings will change and the other one is like okay time to part ways yeah there's a lot

I do agree with on this um and not just in relation to the ick in relation to our generation in general and dating jobs job satisfaction um money savings buying houses we do have a generation now where we want things faster for less work we want we want it now we are impatient um we have done a whole episode actually on the grass is always greener and the grass is always greener I think that comes into when someone develops the ick a lot because I think sometimes we get scared of commitment or we're unsure. And so we are actually searching for something to happen to make us uncomfortable so we can have a reason to leave. I think that you can look at this concept in two different lenses. You can look at it from the lens of like, okay, your intuition is telling

you something and you've got to get out. Or you can look at it from the lens of impatience and go, well, maybe you're being impatient and you're expecting your relationship or you're expecting this person to be a level of perfection. Then maybe you're not either. Psychologist Meredith Fuller. She talks about why we get the ick and how we can actually stop it from sabotaging relationships that are good on paper. A lot of the times we are searching for reasons to leave, like we just said, but she breaks it down into sort of, I guess, three stages or levels of the ick. So let's just like nut those out for a second. She says, number one, the number one ick, your opposites attract theory. So what she's saying is when you first get together, you love

that you're so different from your partner you know they might be tatted up they might be wanting to adventure they might have five different jobs they might be dolphin trainer they might love to hike on the weekends and motocross and you you're happy in your nine to five you like to play chess on the weekends you don't like to get your nails dirty like you're so opposite but this is why you this is why you get together because you take something from each other and it's exciting and and it's out of your comfort zone and you think it's fantastic. But that only lasts so long. And once the magic fades from the beginning,

once the honeymoon's over, you realize you literally just don't have anything in common anymore. People are like on their best behavior for the first month. They're like the Christmas version of themselves. So I think- Except you. What do you mean? I'm a Christmas version of myself the first month,

except I rock out to people's houses drunk and try and have sex with them. Anyway, long story short- Well, I mean, that was Christmas for him. no but like you know we get the best version of people and I think that was another thing that was touched in this article that I just referenced like you know you get the best jokes you get the best messages you get the best attention you get the best version of a person for the first couple of months and then after that their true self starts to show and I think you know you also have to be introspective and realize that the same goes for yourself as well like you're giving the

best version of yourself and then after a couple of months guess what your jokes probably aren't quite as funny and you're not quite as good at the banter or whatever it is like things do level themselves out as well but what are your what's your opinion on opposites attract look it's an interesting one I used to be I used to be really really pro opposites attract and I used to like to date people that were opposite to me um but for me that was I don't know if you guys know but I'm pretty loud for me that was an introvert and all I did was talk at him and it didn't work out so crazy no I dated people that were actually like um quite shy and reserved and um it never worked for me because then all of a sudden and I remember saying to my mom I remember saying

mommy he can't even swim because he couldn't the guy was dating for a long time couldn't swim and she's like pretty that's not the end of the world and I'm like well it is because I want to go swimming on the weekend and he can't come because he'll drown and that's where and that's when we got to the point where we're like oh okay so the opposites attract thing wore off really quickly and now I don't realize we don't have anything in common that's also what happened with the guy that I got the ick with overseas I didn't realize until we got there we had absolutely nothing in common he wanted to do this food tour of America now I love my food we all know that but I was there in my mind I was like we're gonna go hiking in Yosemite National Park

we're gonna go bungee jumping we're gonna do camping we're gonna do all this amazing stuff we're gonna go diving we're gonna see whales i'm gonna free dive he was like we're gonna go to texas to get a texan barbecue when you're like i'm not signing up we're gonna go to san fran to get the chowder we're gonna like it was a food and i just looked at him and i was like oh my god like i want to do nothing that you want to do and you want to do nothing that i want to do and that was a moment i was like okay you can't actually be with someone that is polar opposite yeah i'm a big believer like i mean i'm sure that there are relationships out there where people would say, like, we're so opposite, but I think your core values will always align. Like

the things that you want in your family, the things that you believe in, the way that you show respect for each other. I think that your core values have to be aligned. It's okay for there to be some parts of you that are very opposite, but I think the things that ground you and make you work as a couple is that there are some very, there are some very significant underlying similarities. And when I speak to Matt about this, like, I think one of the reasons why we work so well as a couple is because we are almost the same. Like we are so identical in our personalities that we know each other's triggers for what can set the other one off really badly. But we also know exactly how one person wants to be loved, how one person wants

to be nurtured. Like we are so similar. And I think that that has been to our strength in a relationship more so. One of my best friends, she is the nicest, sweetest girl, but you'd almost think she was a bitch because she's so shy like she's so softly spoken and reserved and but she's such a beautiful loyal person when you know her and her husband is like the opposite he's so loud he's such a big personality he's so funny he's the life of the party like he will light up any room and they get along swimmingly like they're perfect for each other because every other value and everything else in their life is the same it's aligned so they have all that in common and they actually complement each other she needed somebody that was like that

because that wasn't her at a party you know so she needed that he needed her to be like babes rain it in rain it in so she pulls him back and it just works really well but it only works because every other part of their life is in line you can date somebody who has opposite personality traits because you admire that in them especially if you're dating someone who is an extrovert or is who who finds it really easy in gatherings to go and talk to anyone at the party like they're very attractive personality traits but I don't think that you need to have everything the same in order to be able to have a sustained relationship but you like you said and like I said I mean there we go I love it when you agree there has to be those core things that

underlyingly are the same and I think for a lot of people when they end up catching the ick it's because there's something fundamental in their relationship that's not the same there's something that's been said there's something that's been done there's something that's shifted in their core values that's made them go oh no no no I don't this is not going to work out with this guy we just discussed it point number two is there's a fundamental difference in your attitude so we've you're ahead of the psychologist I know ask uncut here we go here's your free therapy session so Meredith Fuller she does actually use the example we just discussed about an introvert and extrovert dating and how it actually can work as long as they're in line with everything else so we already

really covered number two that's amazing look at us go but what she does say is these ics can still be worked through um even if you are if you if you do fundamentally have some differences it doesn't have to be the end she's saying it just means you have to have a lot lot more open communication and you do have to be open to putting in the work and not jumping ship straight away but that leads us to number three three is what we've been talking about earlier in the episode which is out of nowhere you just don't like them anymore like you're trying to find a valid excuse why and this one is when like we said you might have been dating for a few weeks the relationship is relatively fresh and literally out of nowhere it almost feels like you're just off them like

totally turned off yeah and like you know rationally that someone putting two x's at the end of a text shouldn't make you feel sick or being like come here for a smooch and you're like oh my god the word smooch makes me want to punch you in the face oh my i hate the word smooch tell me for a smoochy smooch like smooch me smoochy i think baby talk is a big ick oh me too and people that talk to their dog like a baby i know why you're saying this brit semi-recently dated a guy who spoke to his dog like it was a child and it even gave me the ick it was in an accent too it was too much oh wow anyway needless to say it didn't work out but this sort of unique this is the one that she does say you can't really overcome it if you are that instantaneously

repulsed and can't even bring yourself to touch him or cuddle him or her i should say to cuddle your partner in bed um if a message or them calling and then their name pops up on your screen it makes you feel sick there's not really a lot of coming back from that it doesn't make you a bad person if you're turned off someone and you don't want to give it a shot like you don't have to rationalize it in your head and try and be like oh but they're really nice and they've done this and there's no reason for me to feel this like it's okay for you to pull a pin on a relationship early because there's something about it that's made you feel like completely completely repulsed because you don't want to be in a relationship where you feel like you need to

change someone and you also want to be in a relationship where you feel that intense desire for someone as well then this is idea of like okay so you've got the ick you have to work out what level of ick you are why it's happened and then if it's worth trying to salvage the relationship and work through it like are you overreacting for example if the ick has something to do with their personality like maybe it's something they do maybe it's the fact that they take their clothes off and drop in the corner oh my god somebody messaged in onto the onto the facebook group and said that she was dating a guy who used to bite his own toenails after he'd been walking around all day i was like that shit's a breakupable offense right there also how flexible

is he yeah impressive that is impressive i'm not even mad i'm impressed but it doesn't have to be something as crazy as that like a lot of people have said that they got the ick from snoring or they got the ick because the person ate with their mouth open or it was because the way they spoke to a waitress or a waiter at a restaurant like the way that people treat other people i think is a very valid reason to be instantly turned off someone but they are also the things that if you do still love them and you want the relationship to work you can work on that because they're things that can change they're little easy things and you probably just haven't been open with your communication you just need to say hi babe get your foot out of your mouth like it's fucking

disgusting it doesn't turn me on yeah and I do I do agree with this I really I mean and we'll always be advocates for communication we think that that's the most important thing in a relationship but I also think secondly like before we just jump out and say oh well if you feel like this then you should jump ship. I'm okay. I know I said it's okay for you to do that if you want to, but I will say before you do just jump ship, something that I think is really important is that feelings are fleeting and you are not your feelings. And I've said this before, but I think sometimes we almost pay too much attention to how we feel at a certain time. And, and the way you feel today may not be the way that you feel in two weeks time. Um, and, and I think that, you know,

be conscious of the fact that feelings are very dynamic, feelings can shift. And I mean, there's even times in long-term relationships where you may be turned off your partner for whatever reason, but that doesn't mean that you can't come full circle and be attracted to your partner again. It just takes effort. It takes communication. It takes getting back to a good place, but yeah, feelings really are dynamic and they change all the time and they shouldn't be what you totally base a decision off, especially not a rash and quick decision. If you're one of those people, if you're listening now and you're like, oh my God, this is me. If you're one of those people that actually gets the ick a lot and you you enter a relationship and it's frequent

and you're like why does every guy turn me off you need to look a little bit deeper and chances are you might actually have some commitment issues or there might be something more deep seated there on your end because it's not normal to get the ick consistently or like most people get it once or twice in their life but if you're getting it every time you need to be like okay am I not giving this guy a chance am I am I calling the shots way too soon do I have a commitment issue is it me that actually is finding an excuse because I don't want to open myself up to hurt or to feel love or you know so you have to look at yourself and think okay can we work through this and do I want to actually try and work through this with this guy or are you just

going to break up with him because he didn't stack the dishwasher right yeah or are you suffering from this idea of the grass is always greener I think we often compare our relationships and the guys that we start dating to our friends boyfriends or what we see on Instagram or what we can see on social media or what we think we could get or what we think could be better and I do think that this constant comparison can really be the undoing especially in early relationships also second to that comparing somebody to your ex we've had this conversation before but I think it's a really important one as well like you're never ever going to have the intensity of feelings with somebody that you just met as what you're going to have for someone who you had a sustained relationship with

And so you're only robbing yourself of the ability of having a great relationship if you go into every new relationship, comparing it to your ex and what you felt for them. Yeah. Comparison's the thief of joy. Favorite saying. Comparison's the thief of joy. I think just to really wrap it up, even if it does seem illogical, your intuition really is a powerful thing. It disconnects your whole body, your mind, your spirit, and you do need to trust it and listen to it in every single circumstance. So really get in tune with your body.

masturbate guys and that's a wrap all right guys we never end an episode without our suck and our sweet and as much as we did a bit of complaining at the beginning of this episode we still have some highlights yeah but the complaint is not over ah well strap yourselves in guys brit what is your suck my suck would have to be i worked really late into i told you how much i worked this is such a minor thing but i worked some more yeah i worked really late right i get home at midnight then i had to get back up and be at work at seven so i get back up at quarter to

six so i get like four and a half hours late i'm going to work for a 17 18 hour shift i'm so tired I have a triple shot coffee in the car I make it I'm driving to work and I know that I've got this 18 hours ahead of me I get I park my car I walk like a zombie into the hospital I get in there and I realize that I left my coffee in the car now this is the smallest thing but I had tears in my eyes because I was so emotionally drained I was like I looked at my sister and I was like she's like what's wrong I was like my coffee she's like what I'm like it's in the car and it was so far away it was raining and that was my suck I was like I was convinced that I can't get through this without that coffee that was I was so beside myself and it's so ridiculous but

you know when you're fatigued the smallest thing just sets you off I think okay there's two parts of this one one part one is that you had to then relive the suck when you got back in the car and saw the cold coffee cup sitting there and two why did you think going to someone's party at midnight when you've had so much fucking work on was a good idea no that was like two nights before because i just you know what i had this moment of like i'm not living at the moment i'm existing have you ever had that you would have had that feeling like yeah this is the last year of my life exactly i was parenting britney i was like i'm existing i'm not seeing any of my friends i am not doing anything i'm just working to the bone i'm going from job to job to job so i was like

i knew i should have listened to my gut guys i knew i shouldn't go out and i did because i was like I want to live and I want to socialize with my friends and anyway that was my suck it's ridiculous yes I cried because I left my coffee in the car also ridiculous but fine we get it sometimes we're vulnerable small things tip you over the edge yeah I was um it's all right you're meant to feel you're allowed to feel my sweet is actually I feel like it's about to happen guys I don't know if you saw it's about to happen yeah is this referring to paradise about to be on tv because this is the longest most drawn out thing i've ever ever experienced in my life you know i'm over it already there's no bigger example of who i am right now that you think that i'm

talking about paradise but i'm thinking about the slice of cake i'm about to eat from your fridge that's my sweet that has also been a very drawn out experience of brit she walked in here wanting cake and i was like get in the bedroom we need to record this get your butt in the bedroom i said it in a really sexy voice like get in the bedroom all i've wanted is a piece of cake and i'm so excited by it and it's going to get me through my days what's yours okay so my suck this week is that Marley had to have her one year vaccinations which happened today my sweet is that I didn't have to take off Matt did well that's all right he sacrificed you for the COVID test last week this is the least he could do this is true he was the sacrificial lamb today so Marley had to go and

have her she yeah the one year vaccinations which like it's very important I'm very happy that she could have them but for anyone who has small kids who have been vaccinated you know that they are just not very happy little critters afterwards so did she cry did she like scream the house down was she all right well matt matt so matt took her i ended up having to go into work but matt took her in and she said that he said that she was a real trooper but she was really upset when they did it but then she got over it pretty quickly that's the thing about kids they have an attention span of a fish and something that makes them upset they're over it in like two seconds flat well yeah it'd just be the shock for two seconds and then it's done and then yeah she'd like the

trauma of being pinned down why someone literally pins you down and um i don't know but she's had like she they get like a bit of a fever afterwards and they feel a bit sick so she's been a bit shitty today and a bit sad so i know that i'm in for a bad night's sleep tonight so that's my suck my sweet is that it was her birthday and it was her birthday party and it was so cute and it was really really small like we just had like my my family my sister and her little boy and my like Matt's sister and brother and like it was just so nice to have everyone together and all the kids and oh made me feel like such a parent I still can't I just still can't believe she's one it's just mind-blowing it's I can't believe we've been doing this podcast for so long I also guys cannot

believe that we have almost hit two million oh my god can you believe how quickly that has happened it's crazy it has rolled around so fast so since February we would have done two million we're gonna go out we're gonna celebrate two million thank you to everybody who has been listening to the podcast thank you to everybody who has supported us from day dot and to every single person who sends us messages and reviews and just tells us what a difference this podcast has made in their life means so much to us and we know that it's made a difference to you because you tell us and can you guys imagine laura's actual two million speech if this is the warm-up she's getting all teary and i'm like babe we're not even there yet

no but but the part of this like doing the thing that has made us keep on doing this podcast week in and week out for the past year like we've done this through brit having crazy work schedules we've done this through me giving birth and having a baby we've done it last year about yeah surviving the first year of parenting through you doing another reality tv show i've had some big big life events in this time and you laura have shown up every week look now i'm getting emotional but the reason why we do it is because so many of you have messaged to say what a difference it has made to your life especially to some of you who've gone through breakups or we've gone through some difficult times in your relationships and that to us means

the world and that is the only reason why we keep doing it every week and because we have so much fun doing it as well yeah the end guys it's definitely not the dollar value on that note if you have loved this episode please leave us a review hit five stars and share the love because we love love We'll be right back.