Life Uncut - THE PICKUP - 12th Feb

Episode Date: February 12, 2023

Every weekday we are having a yarn on our national radio show THE PICKUP. Every Saturday we will be dropping the highlights right here!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany.

I'm Mitch. And this is The Pickup. It is our weekly radio show that we do together. There's half a little family of ours. And, yeah, we had a big week this week. We did. We had a big week. We got a lot off our chest.

Did you? Yeah. Did you get off your chest, Brittley Hockley? Brittley Hockley. I can't speak. We've been trying to do these tongue-tie things. Unique New York. Vocal warm-ups.

Okay. Can anyone do this? Not you. Mitch is like, we've been through this, Laura. Say unique New York five times fast without having a break. Like unique New York, unique New York, unique New York. It's really hard. Unique New York, unique New York, unique New York.

Red leather, yellow leather. Red leather. So that's another one, you know, because Brittany and Mitch are both doing the acting courses. Trained actors. Trained actors. On top of that, we do have a great show. We are getting rid of some confessions.

That's what it is. Getting rid of them. Yeah, throw them out. Yeah, you get rid of it. You throw them out. Get that juju out. Burning them. You're right.

Yeah, absolutely. Get it off your chest or, in your case, Mitch Turi, off your guts. Out of my bowels. Out of your bottom. You'll know that we went on a little best friend trip to Bali last year and I did something in Laura's Bali villa that really no one ever needs to hear of. No, no, no. I heard about it and thought it was my brother-in-law and now I know.

I didn't hear about it. I heard it live as it was happening. I was upstairs. We all felt it. Okay, give me a break. Oh, you know, speaking of things coming out of you, we had on the show a woman that is having a baby via surrogate. I thought this was so interesting.

So she is, I mean, her friend, her best friend is having a baby, but they've just gotten through the first trimester and I have so many questions around surrogacy. Yeah, her best friend is the surrogate. surrogacy is really uh kind of like becoming a bit of a theme on the podcast we also have an episode coming out on tuesday uh can we just tell them what it is who it is do it this tuesday yeah rebel wilson oh yeah yeah yeah yeah we did an episode with rebel wilson last year and uh it was brilliant and a lot has happened in rebel's life in the last 12 months and you guys wanted

to hear from her again so we thought why not get her back on the podcast and speaking to lisa who is the woman who's having a surrogate on today's episode we just thought it was such a synchrony Bit of synchronicity, the tie-in, the fact that we're speaking to Rebel on Tuesday about her surrogacy journey and also her new relationship. Yeah, you guys bombard me also with a call to my lover in Scotland. Yeah, we dial up Glasgow, Scotland. We speak to Ben and then Laura and I put the hard word on him. Just I wanted to make sure, and so did Laura, that his intentions with you were pure. Okay, this was actually led mostly by you, Mitch.

Laura jumped on board, but you were the one that wanted to grill him. Listen, from man to man, you know, two athletes together talking. Are you like my protective brother or dad? Because that's cute. I am, yeah. We're all that close and we just wanted to make sure that he wasn't going to run off because we know those soccer players. They've got reputations.

When you say he's not going to run off, he's already very far away. Where's he going to run to? Where's further? You can run further, Laura. There's always further to go. He really did sit pretty, couldn't he? And still leave. There are so many more parts to this show.

This is the highlight of everything that happened this week on The Pickup. We hope you enjoy. It's on the way. I forgot. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I saw it on TikTok over the weekend. But Valentine's Day is but a couple weeks away. And it's good for us lovers. We're all in love.

I mean, it's a new Valentine's Day for Brit, but we'll have to unpack that later. There is a service that I found over the weekend by Animal Friends Humane Society. It's based in Ohio in the US. What they're offering is for you to name a litter tray after your ex-partner. Your ex's name will be branded on the litter box for all animals of different shapes and sizes and different poo volumes to take a poo on. I would like to go for an elephant kitty litter tray if that's okay. Yeah, I don't know if elephants use kitty litter trays. $5, I'll take the whole enclosure.

Just lay some hay down and go for gold. And this is cute because I'm going to assume that the money, the $5 goes to the shelter and the animal society. Yes, it does. It goes to the animal society. They do great work and you can go and adopt animals there. It's a beautiful place. But this is a brilliant way, A, to make money and, B,

to get revenge on a shitty ex. I think that this is perfect because, like, for so many people, Valentine's Day is a beautiful day. and then for people who have gone through a crappy breakup or maybe they have a terrible ex, it can be a really painful day and what a nice and funny way to get back at someone without actually doing any damage. Yeah, I hate V-Day.

Also, the best part about it is that the ex never has to know. So this is just for you to sleep soundly at night. They never know that they're being shat on by a zebra every night. Because if I did it, if I paid for a zebra kitty litter tray, I would want him to know about it. So I'd probably tweet it. I don't have Twitter, but if I did, I'd tweet it. You'd send him a photo.

And I'd at him. No, you just put it on your Instagram stories because you know they're still looking. Oh, 100%. Wait, do you have an ex that you do this to, either of you? I know I do. 100%. Although I got back at him.

I'm not going to say his name on national radio. I definitely got back at him though. I threw his phone off a seven-storey building and it landed in a pool when we were going through our breakup. What were you doing on the top of a seven-storey building during the breakup? That was his apartment. That's where he lived.

He was on the seventh floor. Did he cheat on you and you found it in the phone and that's why? I was going through his phone. He had drunkenly fallen asleep on the floor next to me and I thought he'd been texting a girl throughout the night. And I went through his phone and I saw the text messages and I woke him up as I was throwing it off the balcony so he could witness it and it landed in the pool.

And then I left. I wanted to make sure he knew why his Samsung was in the bottom of the pool. Wake up, babe. He's like, ooh, I'm going to get some morning fun. Rips open a window. Literally. Throws the phone. Have you done anything to an ex?

No, I helped my sister get revenge on her ex. He bought a brand new BMW and he lived around the street, so he pulled the windscreen wipers off, bent them, snipped them right off. That is illegal. I think so is mine, actually. No. Yeah.

I think both of you. What about you, Brit? Shola, you've gone. To be honest, I'm far too stable. I'm far more stable than either of you. Wait, is it because you make good dating decisions or you just have self-control? No, people shit on me all the time.

That's because relationships don't last long enough to get revenge. There's no point. They're not in the country. They're usually overseas, so she can't get revenge on them because they're not here. Sorry about that. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Can you play some funeral music for me?

Sorry, everyone. Time to go. Ladies, we've been contacted by a listener of the show. I love this. We have such an interesting story. So Lisa is a listener of the show, and she is having a baby, but she's not currently pregnant. So she's having a baby through her best friend, Sarah,

who is carrying it via surrogacy for her. Lisa, welcome to the show. Thank you. Hi, all. You're having a baby, so congratulations. Congratulations. It's a very exciting time. It's huge.

It obviously sounds like it's been a long time coming because, correct me if I'm wrong, but you've had 18 rounds of IVF? Yeah, 18 rounds over eight years. So it's been a long, long, long time coming. And we just announced it about four days ago. So it's all very raw and very exciting. How many weeks along now is Sarah? We are 14 and a half.

Oh, that's so amazing. And so what's that been like for you over the eight years with 18 rounds of IVF? It's excruciating for anyone who's going through it. My hearts go out to you. Doing this has been like the hardest thing that I've ever been through. Every time it's at least 30 injections and then it's the hormones that go through you. Being your friend, she must have been very aware of your IVF journey. But how did you broach the conversation of asking her to be a surrogate for you?

So it doesn't just happen overnight. Sarah and I met 12 and a half years ago. We remained like amazing friends. We worked on so many projects together. In 2018, when I was in my infancy of my IVF journey, she said to me, if you ever want a surrogate, it would be my dream to carry a baby. And I was like, oh, my God, another human would do that. And then fast forward, last year, so March 2022,

she texted me and said, hey, how's IVF going? I was like, not so great, still want to be a surrogate. And on text, she was like, yes, absolutely, let's bring a baby into the world. Wow, it was really just like, it just really happened that quickly and organically. We're together for all the scans. We're like basically together, together, together.

So it's incredible. Lisa, it's a beautiful story and it sounds great and it warms my heart. But then I think my brain goes to the logistics. Like, do you have to pay her? Do you have to write a contract? Do you both have to go to a lawyer and sit down? Like, I'm sure it's not as easy as you're making it sound. It's not easy at all.

And the reason that it's probably easier for me is because I'd been through eight years of absolute freaking hell. I'd been through many iterations of logistics and legalities before. You can't pay someone. and it has to be out of the goodness of their heart. But it's actually not as complex as people may think. So basically what we had to do was her and her husband, David, me and my hubby-to-be, Stephen,

had to do a three-hour counseling session together to all get on the same page and kind of work through, okay, how do we all feel about this? So you've got to be fairly in tune with your feelings and able to talk about everything and be comfortable. And then we had to get legal contracts drawn up on both sides just to any anomalies you know because as you said when you introduced imagine if Sarah had the baby and then was suddenly like I can't let it go so there's a whole lot of legal things

and then the surrogate has to have already finished their own families so Sarah and David have three children already and then we cover whilst we can't pay her we cover every single expense so anything to do with her having to get transport to a scan or anything to do with medically we um cover for Sarah so yeah so it's just um I feel like I've got not only a baby carrier but also a very very very best best best friend like it's amazing wow well I mean speaking of feelings what is it like going from having these 18 rounds of IVF to having to experience somebody else carrying your baby what does that feel like amazing and in fact I have shivers over my whole body as you say it and again it's all perspective right if someone was starting today

on their journey and they're like I'm going to get a surrogate like there is no way six and a half years ago I really could have even fathomed it whilst my partner Stephen has been amazing now I've got like a best freaking girlfriend but every day we're like is he kicking is he doing this how are you feeling like it's just so beautiful it's truly an incredible gift from your friend and your little baby boy is due on the 2nd of august so we just can't say a bigger congratulations to you it sounds like it's been a long time coming and we wish you all both families the absolute best oh thank you so much and thank you for such a beautiful kind interview and i hope we can help a lot of other people that might be considering this today uh we just confessed

some sins live on the air it's all inspired by the married at first sight confessional week it's happening on channel nine this week um laura had a confession so did i so did brit so we thought let's put it out and let our listeners of the pickup confess things live on air are we happy to do that guys yeah i want i want people to make me feel better for what i just confessed i agree kira's on the line hello kira not to make things dramatic what would you like to confess i have five sisters and all of which are blessed with amazing boobs and so i somehow managed to get nothing so behind everyone's back no one is to know that i got a boob job and everyone just thinks that i am blossom late in life i think she just grew a set one day how old were you when you

got the boob job i was early 20s and no one's ever guessed that you had a boob job kira none of your sisters who know you very well were surprised that you woke up with bolt-ons yep exactly we have a pool in our backyard so like we go swimming i'm obviously in bikinis but they everyone just has such big boobs in my family it's so normal that they're like oh no like not even a question has been asked okay well then the question is how big did you go from like an a cup to a d oh that's not that subtle well you're like my hormones kicked in Okay, thank you, Kira. Great confession.

Let's go to Chloe on 131065. Hello, Chloe, the airwaves are yours. What is your confession? My confession is when I found out my ex was having an affair with someone who's here on a holiday visa, I decided immigration should find out. Oh, that is, wow. Did the other woman know that he was in the relationship?

Yes, she was fully aware of it. She actually notified me of the affair. So what did you say to immigration? Were they over their visa? How did immigration get involved? I just passed on some details and mentioned that they could just be in breach of the visa. Left it for about two weeks before I decided to make the phone call. That is big.

Hey, that's what confessions are for. Helen, we promise no judgment. What is your confession? My confession is that I was in a relationship with a man I'd had two children with that man And then I had an affair with his brother Oh, how long did the affair go for? About two years

Hang on, then were you deported? Because there's a link here Are you calling us from Hawaii? Wait, so did anyone ever find out that you had the affair? Yeah, we came clean in the end And you're with the brother now? I'm with the brother now. Oh, my God.

So what is the relationship now between your ex and your now partner who is the brother? So what's the relationship with the brothers and you and your ex? Well, they don't have a relationship at all. Yeah, no, I'm blacklisted. We had to go to a funeral of the mother-in-law and that was very awkward. What about your kids? How did they take it? It took them a while to get on board, but my son refers to my current partner as Uncle Daddy.

Oh, okay. Helen. We probably didn't need to know that. Thank you, Helen. That's the new term people are going to use. Uncle Daddy. Uncle Daddy. Do you know what?

That's wild. I love doing these confessions. I feel like so many people are getting around with big dirty secrets and I want to know them. I feel a bit sick to my stomach. No judgment to Helen, bless her. We have a friend of the show here today, and I'm excited to introduce you all to her. Lena is her name, and Lena is in an arranged marriage. Now, this is a really different story.

So, Lena, welcome to the show. Hi. Hi. Firstly, how long have you been married for? 15 years. We just had our 15-year anniversary in December. Are you happily married? Like, are you guys?

Yes. Wow. Wow. Do you know, okay, so when it came to having this wedding or your marriage arranged, did you have a choice or was it an expectation that you would allow your family members to pick your husband for you um no it was completely my choice and i think the times have changed now where the traditional sort of arranged marriage only happens in smaller villages it's very modernized now where the girl does get a say in the majority of the cases if you had a choice what part of it makes

it arranged? The fact that the elders actually get together and let people know that there's a girl here and then they arrange for the man and the families to come and meet. That could be several different men. Paint the picture of how it works because the way it was described to us is that it was kind of a bit like speed dating. Yeah so there could be up to several men coming throughout the day it's almost like an appointment and you can sort of judge them or try and judge them for the amount of time that you have there in front of them and as an Indian woman what you would do the one being married has to go and take them a glass of water and then you sit down and sort of not look at each other but I took a really good stare because I mean that could be the beginning

of the rest of my life so yeah. So some people don't take that 30 seconds that minute they avoid eye contact because it's awkward what did you feel when you met your husband you're sitting opposite him you're looking into his eyes what was it about looking into your now husband's eyes where you're like this is the one my husband was the first one I looked at we didn't speak at all I took some water and sat down and then the family members just talked to each other really two weeks went by nobody asked me anything so then I said to my grandma I said I actually like the look of that guy oh they got really excited because I was only 19 at the time and then they set up another meeting where they then sent us up to the balcony

to then talk to each other, which was really awkward because he was really shy and didn't know what to really say and all I really asked him was if he ate meat and drank alcohol and it was a yes, so it was a yes from me. So how long after meeting then do you then have to make the decision that you're going to get married? Like do you get married very shortly afterwards? Are you essentially just saying yes to dating?

No, that was a done deal on the day. Wow. So it was just you took water, you looked into each other's eyes, you asked him if he ate meat and alcohol, and they were the checkboxes. Then you were like, this is the rest of my life. Yeah, pretty much. So within a month we had met, we got engaged and married all in one month.

Well, I mean, congratulations. You've been married 15 years. You've got two beautiful girls. How long did it take you to fall in love? For me, it was love at first sight. Oh, stop it, you bitch. big cutie. It was love at first sight. It took both of our sides to really learn each other's ways. And my husband brought him to Australia here. So he's left his whole family and everything,

friends and everyone back in India. And I've now got a husband that I have to, you know, take care of. And being as independent as I was, it was really new to me. So it just takes a lot of understanding and a lot of sacrifices do have to be made for a relationship like this to work. Wow, and all it takes is 30 seconds. That should be the name of your memoir if you ever write one. All it takes is 30 seconds. Well, hopefully I'm talking about the look. It's an ambiguous title, Mitch.

No, I'm talking about the intro. Anyway, congratulations, Lena. We're very happy for you. Thank you for coming on and sharing your story. No worries. Thank you, guys, for having me. Anytime. What a superstar.

All right, stand by. Next, everybody. I have written and produced the pickup anthem, and I'm going to be debuting it here on The Pickup in a world first next. Oh, God. Don't be afraid. Be very afraid. The fact that this is the first we're hearing about it is a problem.

I'm pretty sure I'm about to be signed to Sony Music, the record label. Oh, what have you done now, Mitch Cherry? Well, I thought we're new here on the Airwaves. This is our second week of the pick-up, Brit, Laura and Mitch. And, you know, I have studied theatre and I'm a musical boy. It's in my bones. You've got a fantastic voice. Yeah, only as a baritone and only really in musical theatre numbers.

So what I did was I thought my way of showing love is to be creative. So I have written a song that perfectly introduces Laura, Britt and myself to the new audience listening now. So this is a song that you've written about us, just so I can get clear before I hear. That is correct, Laura Byrne. Correct. It's a way to introduce ourselves to the Pick Up audience. Let's roll the track. This is The Pick Up, performed by yours truly.

Enjoy. Let's roll. Ahem. here's the story of a lovely lady who we met only six years ago the bachelor of our dreams and he met laura on our screen and now they have two beautiful girls they live in bondi with a three-legged pooch the country's most beloved fadgie too Between daycare, being a mum There's barely time to wipe her bum

And we're worried that she'll never get to sleep This is awful You're the lovely lady Who we met being dumped on TV Said goodbye to our honey badger Now looking back and stab the dagger Our beautiful Brit was single once again Radiographer for years

The single life brought many tears But God, it's been good content over the years She found love in Delilah, her dog And her new Scottish boy, she loves to snog That's why we love our love freak Metamela Six foot three, big hair and sweaty to the touch Born and raised in a shire

Yet he still had a great desire To run off and live in Hollywood Twelve months in New York City He gave 30 kilos for the movie, and that's where we meet our handsome Mitch. You might know his voice or style. He's been on air for quite some while. And that's the story of your pick-up. Enjoy, everybody.

What did I just hear? We are so sorry. We take absolutely no responsibility for Mitch Turi. This was done behind our backs. We love, but it was awful. Mitch, what I would like to say is it is the effort that counts and the thought that counts. Thank you.

I can tell you put many blood, sweat, tears and hours into that song. And you are sweaty to the touch. I am. It's all true. That was the truest part of the song, actually. Your clamminess was the part that I really resonated with. Couldn't we have just introduced ourselves normally? Hi, I'm Laura.

I have two kids. I'm a mum. Nah, not our style. Yeah, I've got a dog, Delilah, and finally got a boyfriend. I'm open to record deals if anyone's interested or private songs If you've got a 16th birthday or a 21st, I'll write one. I love that Mitch wrote the song right. He can put anything he wants in it about him.

He's like, I'm a trained actor. I went to New York. I did this. These are my accolades. I'm very handsome. All the great things. And I have a three-legged dog and can't wipe my own bum. And I'm perpetually single.

All right, that's the pick up. We're here for eternity, everyone. Now you know who we truly are. Please come back next week. The thing is, it's kind of weird when your best friend gets a new boyfriend and you don't have any way of getting to know them. Like, I don't know him at all. And I feel like it's probably time to get to know Ben.

Well, Laura and I were talking as well off the air. I think if anyone should put the hard word on Ben and really grill him as to what his intentions are with our beautiful Brittany. It's my dad, Paul. No, it's your co-host. So let's dial up the line. Let's go straight to Scotland now.

Sorry. Hold on. I think we've got a different line. We've got Ben joining us now from Glasgow. Hello, Ben. Welcome to The Pickup. Hey. Hi, love.

I'm just going to say right now I'm so sorry for this. I feel like this is an attack on you. I did not know this was happening. I am so confused right now. Don't be confused. All Laura and I want to do is make sure that your intentions are pure. So, Britt, you just sit there. This is not your time to talk to Ben because God knows you talk enough as it is.

Do you think we just give him a quick disclaimer? Like, love, you are on radio. Like, just so you know. I have a few questions. I only have Britt's best welfare at heart. Britt, you originally said that Ben was very adamant against doing a long-distance relationship. But then you changed your mind. what was it that made you change your mind yeah thanks for bringing that up

i think it's brit that kind of kind of changed it you know kind of a guy that goes by the feeling and all that kind of stuff so i think when you know you know how did i make you feel isn't it cute yeah i think it was more like a masculine thing just to kind of lay it all out there and then actually you get to the softer inner bit of me then you kind of know that i'm just a big teddy bear how do you feel about having an open relationship um yeah hard no from my side so which kind of i was like hey what do you think about and he was like i didn't even finish the sentence he was like no no deal not happening what or when will you be moving to australia wow um i guess i have to see how football works out first i've obviously been to australia a

couple of months ago and kind of fell in love with it also it'll be soon enough ben this is all very lovely but i want to know how well do you actually know brittany there's like a little rapid fire round is it yes what is brittany harkley's middle name uh nicola mayo oh very good i didn't even know that that's impressive very good i've got one um you should know this It's easy. What is Brittany's birthday? Baby, you've got to remember this. 21st of August.

Is it? Yes. Yeah, well done. We don't talk about the year. Okay. Yeah. What? I was doing you a solid there, baby.

I know. That's true love. What are Brittany Hockley's siblings' names? If you can't remember them. Sherry. Oh, yeah. Sherry, Mitch, there's another Mitch, and Dane. Yes!

And lastly, what is Brittany Hockley's favourite food at the moment? It does change. It depends. If she cooks, it's probably prawns. If I cook, it's pasta, carbonara, something like that. No, sorry, it's coconut frozen yoghurt, Ben. Yes. That is what it is.

By the sounds of things, he knows Brittany Hockley very well. I'm pleasantly surprised. Even I forgot what Brittany's month of her birthday was. So I think it's a yes. And I've met all three siblings and I don't even know their names. It's funny, Ben said my birthday and then he looked at you two and said, is that right? And you both looked at me.

You were like, I don't remember. We approve. Ben, you've got the seal of approval from us. We love you. Ben, well, welcome to the family. We hope you stick around. He's like, I don't know if I want to be part of this family now. You really need to work on moving to Australia.

But we can unpack that later. We don't have the time. Yeah, that's for next week. Thank you, Ben. you're a keeper take care he's a keeper literally he's a keeper