Life Uncut - Tuesday ASK UNCUT episode - the old bait and switch

Episode Date: September 8, 2020

Hello, It's your fav unqualified therapists Britt and Laura! We’ve gone rogue this week and switched things around due to a hectic schedule... meaning you get Thursdays Ask Uncut a touch easy and the meaty juicy episode for this week will drop on Thursday!Just keeping you on your toes Lifers! Today’s listeners questions include: My partner has a huge gambling problem, can he change and do I stay or do I leave?  My bf wants me to do anal all the time but I hate it. How do I navigate this?  My parter wants to move away without me, I can’t go with him because of uni. Am I allowed to be upset? And what does this mean?  Oh, and Britts dad has his own accidentally unfiltered!If you guys love listening to us please tell your mum, your dad, your friends and your  dog and anyone else that will listen. Hit 5 starts, subscribe and share the love, because, well, we love love xSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany and I'm Laura and we are mixing it up this week. This is Tuesday, but we are bringing you our Thursday episode of Ask Uncut. Now, we do have a good reason. It's a little bit confusing, I know. I know. But, you know, work has just been very, very all-consuming in the last couple of days. I have a lot happening with Tony May, and then it's also been Father's Day,

and our Tuesday episode is the episode that requires a lot more research and preparation, and so we decided that instead of just slapping something together half-arsed and half-baked... Because we are not about that. I'm not going to slap, guys, we wouldn't do that to you. Whole hog, all the time. So we're just going to mix things out. We're going to do our Thursday's episode today, which is our Ask Uncut episode, answer all your deep, dark,

and dirty questions. La, la, la, la, la. There she is. It's been a little while since I've done that sound, and I didn't want you to think it's completely gone away. I'm not opposed to it going away. Well, there's got to be someone out there who likes it. Maybe one person.

We don't know. but um yeah so Thursday's episode we're going to be talking just to give you a little taste test so you know what's coming we're going to be talking about dating someone who has narcissistic personality disorder which if you've ever dated someone you will know it's great real fun that's a lie it's not it's like burning and the floor is lava and everything's on fire and you're dying but before we get into that how was father's day oh well it didn't get mad at present but i did but i did a lot of acts of service oh all right mate let's slow down we're only two minutes in again that might be a new record and we had sex but that wasn't the acts of service

that i was talking about we i like cool i cleaned i you should stop the list there just did i took care of marley so he could go to the gym and i think it's really interesting because i i think when it's mother's day if you ask any mom what they want for mother's day they'll say i just want some time to myself i want to go for a massage or i want to go away from you and the kids and everyone and i want to spend some time to myself if you ask fathers what they want for father's day they're like i just want to spend time with my family oh that's cute though but that's because the mom spends the majority of the time anyway so she's like please give me some peace and quiet you always want what you don't have on the reg right oh my god absolutely so we

had a really cute morning together we did breakfast matt went to the gym i cleaned and i cooked and i cleaned some more and i got my real house wife on and then we had a barbecue in the afternoon and it was cute we just had a real aussie father's day and you went to port macquarie yeah look i jumped in the truck went up the coast saw big tones he was doing really well shout out no um dad is our biggest fan anyone that listens to this knows that he or anyone on the instagram page dad's very um he's very proactive mr hockley's there waving the life uncut flag we've got plenty of time for it but he had his own accidentally unfiltered so i'm i'm gonna tell you and he was like super excited to tell me too because he's like why he's like

I'm accidentally unfiltered um so basically he went to get his hair cut okay he just went to get a trim he went in there and there was a lady sitting down there was only one person so she was already cutting someone's hair so she turns around and she's like hey look it's going to be a little while why don't you go across to the pub and have a drink or something or come back like anyone that knows my dad knows he's not really a pub person like he would he would probably go for a half hour run then go to the pub but she's like go have a across the pub have a drink come back and I'll do your hair then and there was a lady standing next to him who was the mother of the girl getting a haircut dad recognizes her as this woman from a coffee shop so she's like go and have

a beer and the woman next to dad is like oh it doesn't sound like a bad idea and dad's like come on over to the like come on over and I'll buy you a drink while we wait and she's like all right fuck it let's go have a drink at the pub so dad and his in inverted brackets commas friend went across to the pub for a beer dad bought her a drink they're having a yarn dad's like how's uh the pups the dogs and the lady hesitated for a second and she was like i mean yeah they're good they're fine and dad's like that's good good and he's like he's like it was a bit of a weird answer like she was a bit standoffish and then he's like what about the coffee shop because this woman that dad was with owns a coffee shop what about the coffee shop

how's coffee shop have you been going in COVID and everything and the lady was like oh I mean yeah a bit quiet for a little while but we're doing okay and dad was like she was really weird like she's real standoffish I feel like I know where this is going it already feels so uncomfortable for your dad so they had this like they had this whole date my dad's been married 42 years and he went on a date he didn't know so they go back to the hairdresser and they end up getting their haircut and he says his goodbyes the next day he goes to the coffee shop that because he because he's a regular at the coffee shop he goes to the coffee shop he looks at the lady behind the counter that he thought he bought a drink the night before and he's like holy shit who the

hell did I take on a date last night because this is not you are not the lady that I bought a drink for last night dad's like dad's at a loss he goes home to Nikki my mom he's like Nick I gotta be honest I've accidentally gone on a date my mum thought it was hilarious but then it gets worse do he like give her his number or something no so it turns out a few days later Dane who's my brother this is so convoluted and this is Port Macquarie for you the lady has said to Dane this the lady that dad did take on a date he's like look I saw you walk past the other day with your dad and I'm pretty sure he took me on a date thinking I was someone else and it was like this big convoluted story came back got back to dad dad went back down he's like look I'm so sorry that that happened

like I thought you were someone else and I thought you were a friend and I'm married for four years there's all this big fuck up wow anyway um welcome to Port Macquarie it's a small insular little town poor dad first date he's been on in like 45 years and he didn't even know he was on one even he's out there picking up people he's looking at more than I'm picking up well coming off the back of your accidentally unfiltered stories i figured we should just instead of going completely rogue on this episode and it all feeling very unfamiliar territory to you i thought i would read you out an accidentally unfiltered story that came in just before because it gave me a good giggle so you know that this is our favorite part of the episode so i was

like i'll throw one in for you okay go okay so me and my partner are relatively new into our relationship and exploring in the bedroom if you're catching what i'm throwing anyway so a bit of butt stuff never hurt anybody right no it probably has that statement is incorrect no I think a few people don't enjoy the butt stuff but some people do you know different strokes for different folks so I'm sure you're getting where I'm going and putting two and two together so yes we get to the end of the session as such we're like wait where is the vibrator I can hear it buzzing away oh my god please tell me it's under the bed it's nowhere to be seen it's at this point that we both realize that the vibrator is stuck in my butt it was horrified and immediately started

freaking out i ran into the bathroom through fits of tears and had to poop out the tiny vibrator my partner then weirdly reassures me by saying don't worry babe the exact same thing happened to me in the past yes you two good things good news is the vibrator was retrieved safe and sound the thing that i am most concerned about is the fact that this isn't like a new vibrator that the two of you have bought together to use this is something that he's had before and has been stuck in his own butt and didn't feel the need to tell you that oh i'm not concerned i have a few concerns i love that you guys are going for it love that in my industry i see a lot of things up people's butts it's my job i have to find them like we we do the imaging we go to the

operating theaters when i have to go out foa foreign object anal i have seen a lot of stuff up but i think it's funny that she doesn't realize how close she came to a really embarrassing hospital trip they don't all usually poop out okay all right so pretty just took that and made it really medical thanks for shitting on that story anyway let's get into the ass gun cuts guys all right have you got one first up hot off the ranks yes i do and it is very relative to what we just discussed ladies my boyfriend is really into butt stuff me not so much i find it very uncomfortable and it really hurts but he is very persistent that he wants to try it in the bedroom what should i do i just thought since we were on the theme yeah i like i like what you've done

yeah it was a smooth transition i think this is easy i think anything can go down in the bedroom anything you want as long as you're both on board with it you both feel comfortable with it you've discussed it and it's a safe open comfortable environment the second one person in the relationship doesn't want to do something you don't have to do it and if you try to do it to make your partner happy it's never ever going to end well it's not healthy in the relationship to be doing something simply to please your partner i mean look we all make sacrifices and do things in life we don't want to do blow jobs your acts of service on father's day nailed it no but like sometimes you've got to make those sacrifices for the ones you love but that doesn't mean that you

have to do butt stuff no no it doesn't and the thing is what i'm saying is like yeah you do have to meet halfway sometimes meet in the middle but you don't have to meet in the butt no but seriously though don't you do not have to do it you can just have a conversation and say I'm not comfortable with it I don't really want to do it maybe we could try something else or you can throw some suggestions out there yourself but don't feel pressured look I am fully there with you Brit I think I mean obviously some people are super into it that's great I am definitely one of the women who are of the thoughts that there's a perfectly good hole in the front and that the one in the back is a one way it's got a stop sign right at the front door and I honestly think that there

are guys out there who who think that every single girl can do it and that every single girl will enjoy it if they give it a go false I disagree okay like yes there are some girls out there who have done it and they have grown to like it and they enjoy it but you know what there are other people out there who consistently don't enjoy it it's painful it's uncomfortable and you don't have to bend what your boundaries are to make somebody else happy like you know what if that's a deal breaker for him in the bedroom if he absolutely has to do that and that's one of his number one fetishes then maybe you guys are not sexually compatible however if he respects you and loves you and really cherishes the relationship he's not going to push something that makes you

uncomfortable that makes you upset you know he can get his rocks off other ways it can't be the only thing that gets him off there's a lot of relationships where one person in the relationship do want certain things and do have certain fetishes but that doesn't have to mean that the relationship's over it doesn't have to mean you're not sexually compatible it just has to mean that you meet halfway but this is easy for me it's just like it's just explain that it's not what you're into and if you guys love each other you'll just move on and it won't be it won't come up in topic again yeah but that's the thing i think is can be sometimes a bit um confusing or a bit aggravating or disappointing in this type of conversation is that often you do have the

conversation with a guy and say you're not interested and then they bring it up again and then they you know it just seems like whoops oh yeah or just try just give it a crack you know but like I think that there are some men that are very persistent and don't take no or don't take that you're uncomfortable as like a hard no I mean that's that's a whole another topic of conversation isn't it men in general who don't see no as a no they see no as a maybe but I think if he respects you enough and you have explained why and you know for whatever reason that why is that should be enough in your relationship for him to respect it and drop it and unless you bring it up again in the future because you've decided that you want to try it

it shouldn't be a conversation that you keep having every single time you have sex because that's just almost like being badgered into doing something that you don't want to do so stand your ground girlfriend yeah stay away from the butt question number two okay this one's a bit more serious downhill fast isn't it no i think we're going uphill now that was down okay i've been with my boyfriend for five years since we're 18 i moved away from the country to study at uni and eventually he followed i have two years of my degree left and he has told me that he wants to move back home to the country because he doesn't like his job and the city lifestyle. We had previously discussed that we would both move when I finish

uni. Is it fair that I feel really hurt by this? I feel like that I'm not enough for him to just stick it out and find another job up here until I finish. I'm almost certain that long distance wouldn't work and I don't want to miss out on these fun young years together being five hours apart all the time. What are your thoughts on this? I actually have some pretty strong thoughts on this because I feel like I was in this exact situation when I was um when I finished uni so I studied in Wollongong and um I met a guy who has had moved to Lismore and he was studying up there so as soon as I finished my degree in Wollongong I moved to Lismore to be with him and he had two years left of his degree we'd kind of done like about eight months long distance

at the start of our relationship and I did a year in Lismore um and Lismore's very country for anyone who doesn't know, it's like the Northern Rivers region. It's about 45 minutes inland from Byron. So, you know, I just felt really displaced there. I didn't have any friends. I didn't really, I didn't really get a good job. Like I was working in a job that wasn't very inspiring for me, especially when I just finished my uni degree. And I found it really, really difficult. And after a year, I chose to move home. And I feel like we were in a very similar situation to this, but in the reverse almost. I guess like my thoughts on this is kind of trying to see it from the guy's perspective and play a bit of the devil's advocate. I think it's really hard to

expect someone to put their life on hold for two years. Having two years left of your uni degree is a really, really long time if your partner is really, really unhappy being where he is. And I don't think that one person and your relationship is enough of a source of happiness to make someone stay somewhere where everything else doesn't align with their sense of purpose. Because two years is a long time to feel like you don't have purpose outside of a relationship. I know that that's probably not what you want to hear because it's pretty heartbreaking when you think that you're not enough. But yeah, my relationship wasn't enough and I ended up moving back. It didn't, like we still did long distance like we made that work for a couple of years after that and we ended

up you know living together again in sydney after he'd finished his degree but but i i don't know i just think i i understand what it's like to be somewhere and feel like you don't belong there where do i start you're like controversial because we don't agree no look i agree i do agree with what you just said for sure and i can see that but i think this might be the first time you and i might actually disagree we did talk about this topic a little bit before we started recording and we could not come to a mutual same like we couldn't get to the same place and it's funny that's never happened ever it's never happened in the history of life uncut we pretty much um end up even if it's in a roundabout way we usually end up agreeing no i'm not i'm not

straight out disagreeing with you at all because i do i agree with what you said that like if someone is inherently unhappy where they are they shouldn't have to be there but what I also think that means and this is again guys this is just two people's opinions that have both been in a situation what I think that does mean is that maybe it's not maybe it's not the person for you forever I'm of the belief controversial but I'm of the belief that at different points in your life are going to have to to do some things make some compromises settle just a little bit for your partner because your partner is going to be at a point in their life where they're going to need you and they're going to have to do something for them and that is 100% going to be reciprocated

there's going to be a time when they're then going to have to go and follow their dream or do their thing it's going to be a different timeline and you'll have to meet them halfway for that as well you're going to have to make compromises as well because relationships and life it's literally the foundation is compromise you you're never going to meet two people they're going to go through life and be at the exact same point in life want the exact same things have the exact same things drive them make them happy fill their soul like that is almost unheard of that two people will go on that journey at identical times I think that personally I would feel what you're feeling if my partner said I don't want to be here and support you at this time if it's different if

he's going back now you haven't specified this it's different if he's going back because his uni degree is there or his dream job is has come up this is completely different if he's going back to do the same thing and just do life somewhere else without you at the same pace I think that that's indicative that maybe he's not willing to make a sacrifice for a short term now does this mean your relationship's over no does it mean you can't do long distance no you absolutely can do long distance i am going to say that your feelings are warranted and i feel like from just from the information you've given me that i think he should have stuck it out with you for the rest of the time knowing full well that you said as soon as you're done you'll go back to the country to the

place that makes him happy like you guys have said you're going back to that place yeah maybe we will get to the same place bro maybe we will and i just convinced you was that like a good spiel it was a but I like I'm not fully like I guess the thing that I I want to add to this is like you guys are young like by the sounds of things like you're at university you're still trying to figure stuff out for your own lives and like where you want to be and what you want to do with yourselves and there was a part of your question where you said you know we are young we shouldn't be enjoying this time together you know having fun and not doing long distance I guess seeing things from his perspective a little bit, he is young and he probably feels like he doesn't want to waste those

young years being somewhere where he's not happy as well. So there are two sides to this. I guess like the big thing is, is no matter, no matter what's happening in relationship, like yes, relationships, there are sacrifices that have to be made, but if somebody doesn't want to make those sacrifices, you can't force them to do that because that's what will make you happy. And you're absolutely entitled to feel sad or to feel lost or to feel like you've been robbed of a decision that you made together because he has essentially changed his mind but you can't really hold it against someone if they want to go and do something that's going to make them happy that's just him living his life as well and unfortunately that's just the shitty ups and

downs of relationships and trying to figure it out and make it work and figure out whether this guys you're a penguin or not yeah i think all you can do in this situation is be really honest with him ask him to be honest with you all you can say is i don't want you to go i want you to stay i want you to be here and support me i want don't want to live my life without you but i want you to be happy so make your decision based on what's going to make you absolutely happy and then if he decides that he still wants to go you've got to let him go there's nothing you can do you can still try and still try the relationship but then be true to yourself be honest yourself if you're not happy then doing long distance if it's putting strain on it then you're gonna have to reassess

and have another conversation but I remember when I was with my partner for five years same as this girl said I moved away to uni and um he didn't want to move he had a great job really high paying job he was surfed every weekend like he was competing he was he had his whole life where he was and it wasn't even a question for him he packed up everything to move with me and I even said to him like if you're not you know you don't have to even though like that was a rhetorical like I wanted him to be like you have to I was just trying to be the good girlfriend I was like don't do anything you don't do but then if he said no I would be like well the actual fuck no but he was like why wouldn't he's like it's it's three years Brittany in the scheme of things like I don't want

to spend three years without you so he moved and took a lower paying job and he didn't love his life but I was there and so I guess that's me looking back at my like at my own experience in my relationship and I just think for the person that I love and I can say this I would move anywhere if it was the person that I love more than anything and I thought they were my soulmate my penguin I would just move but that's the question right like maybe maybe the way that you view the relationship and what you want out of the relationship is essentially different to the way he views it and I think that like people's actions and people's actions speak very loudly about their priorities and right now his priority is that he's saying that he's not happy being

there and that you know as much as like he may love being with you and being in the relationship the relationship itself is not big enough to satisfy all the other parts of his personality that make him happy and so that's why he's doing this part for himself and you're absolutely entitled to be sad and to feel the way that you feel about it but that doesn't mean that you can control him or make him do something that he doesn't want to do basically so I think that the only thing that you can do right now is just wait and see what decision he makes and then make your decisions based off that after telling him what you want be honest have the combo have the combo open channels of communication I reckon we've covered that as much as we can we're probably not

gonna get no you and i have just like spot we've just had this both have had the experience so we both like felt really strongly about it but also from like the opposite spectrum yeah yeah okay let's move on to the last question question number three girls my partner has a fairly significant gambling problem he has been on again off again with his habit for quite some time things start to get back on track he gets back into saving money and staying away from the gambling etc things are really good then something happens and he gets angry frustrated it just switches and he gambles it all away again he's still in the process now of paying back gambling debts I feel in some ways he's holding me back from living the life that I want obviously I really

love him or I wouldn't still be with him however I guess what I'm asking is do you think people are capable of change I'm torn as to whether I believe he will ever truly kick this habit and I suppose that makes me afraid to have a future with him as I don't want to put myself into a really shitty financial position if this continues to happen. I understand this is hard but any advice would be appreciated. This is such a hard one. I mean I haven't had any experience with somebody. I've never dated a guy who has a gambling addiction. I've definitely dated people who have other significant addictions in their life and I think that maybe it's the same sentiment that kind of runs across all addictive personalities if if he doesn't want to change

if he doesn't genuinely deeply want to change his behavior he's never going to and there's no amount of you you know trying to persuade him with your love and affection and and um care for him that's going to make him change and I think sometimes there is that saying that people need to hit rock bottom before they actually really really want to make a difference in their life I really think you have to have such a significant and honest conversation with him about it and you need to instead of maybe putting parameters in place for him and his gambling that obviously like goes without saying but putting some parameters in place and some boundaries in place for yourself so that if he keeps crossing those boundaries and he does do this again

another time like that's it like you know you can't keep saying oh I'm you know this time it's going to be different and this time it's going to be different and then each time the goal post keeps moving and you just keep getting further down the rabbit hole and nothing changes this is a super hard one i also like laura i have never dated somebody with a gambling addiction have dated people with addictions but not gambling but like laura just said i think it all goes hand in hand with addictions they he has to want to change himself and he has to be up at a point where he's open to help you can offer all the help you want you can wave it in his face like a hot piece of fresh bacon if he's not hungry he's not going to eat it when things come to a head and you're

like I'm leaving for a very like reactional and quick band-aid fix for someone to turn and say oh I don't you know I'm gonna I'm gonna not do it anymore I'm gonna make sure you know and then as soon as things go back to normal in your relationship those promises all fall by the wayside pretty quickly I think if genuinely if this is something that's going to stop like he needs to be making significant actions in his day-to-day life not just when when you're threatening to leave he needs to be going and speaking to someone going and speaking to a therapist or counselor or somebody who can work through addiction problems with gambling like there are there are support groups that are specifically dedicated to people who have gambling addictions

and I think that if this is something that is significantly affecting both of your lives and he is saying that he's committed to change then his action really needs to show that he is committed to change and he needs to be implementing this stuff and and you know if he does fall off the bandwagon then there's consequences for that and potentially those consequences are that the relationship is no longer is no longer there otherwise you will find yourself down the track in five years or 10 years time and you won't have the life that you want because you'll still be dealing with someone who hasn't made the changes that they kept promising all this time to answer your question like your feelings are so warranted and the fact of the matter is gambling does ruin

a lot of relationships there are a lot of marriages that have broken down from gambling addictions a lot of relationships that have not progressed because of this can people change absolutely can people recover absolutely they can only when they're ready and only with the right help so I'm not going to tell you to leave I'm not going to tell you to do anything what I am going to say is if this is a recurring theme and he's not seeking help then yes if I were you I would be thinking very very seriously about if this is the life I want I guess like the one thing I want to add to this conversation is that like when you're dealing with somebody who has when you're in a relationship with somebody who has a gambling addiction or any sort of addiction

the issue isn't just the fact that they have that they have a weakness or that they are gambling the issues that come with it is the inherent lying that goes with gambling because I'm sure that your partner is saying that he's not doing it I'm sure he's saying that he's you know working towards getting better or like that you know the money's not being spent and then you find out or it's uncovered that you know money's being blown and you feel like you've been deceived so there's so many more layers to it than just the actual gambling itself and the spending of money there's this feeling of betrayal that comes when you're the partner of someone who has a gambling addiction but I mean just to reiterate I think that the most important thing that you can do is to really

encourage him to get help and to take this seriously and then you know secondly I know Britt's saying that she's not going to tell you to leave him and I'm definitely not going to do that either but I think it is really important for you to assess whether you actually think that any change has been happening or whether there's been a whole lot of empty promises, because I really like the saying that when, when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time, don't believe them on what they say they're going to do. Don't believe them on what they promise you. You really have to take people at face value. And if this has been going on for the months or years throughout your entire relationship, then unless something significantly

changes in his actions, yes, this will be something that will continue throughout your whole relationship especially because the big problem with gambling is it brings problems into your work relationship to friends and other family members and all of a sudden it's not just where's my money where's our money it's all these other issues that get brought into your household into your relationship and that's when it implodes so it's not just that he's gone and spent whatever amount of money it's that all of a sudden he's lost his job so that's going to put strain on your relationship yeah and it also means that you don't you can't plan for anything like a normal stable couple are able to you can't plan for a mortgage you can't plan for a holiday you can't

plan for being financially able in the future because you'd never really have a good idea or grasp over what your finances are going to be and I think you know everybody knows that finances and money are a huge tipping point in relationships that the the longer you've been with someone and the more responsibilities you have like children and dependents the more that money becomes a really significant part of your relationship and a part that a lot of people fight about so if you don't have children and this is something that's already a huge issue in your relationship I really do think that that's another thing that you have to consider and assess and have conversations around because how is this going to affect you when you have a family how is this

going to affect you when you need to buy a house it is it's such a serious question to end on but I do think that the only advice that we can give you from two people haven't who haven't been in this situation you know our most thoughtful but yet unqualified advice is that he needs to be making very significant action going and seeking help for this you need to be able to feel confident that he's not going to slip off the bandwagon and that you're not just getting empty promises and i did have a look at this there are there are plenty of support groups and help lines that you can go to lifeline does have you can just call the generic lifeline you can call a specific gambling helpline that is you can call that through lifeline so these numbers are all on

the lifeline website and there's also a gamblers anonymous website so these are some things that you could present to someone if they're if they're in your life and they have this problem um tell him he you'll go with him tell him he can call on his own he you can go and visit the website together and navigate the website together. And then the only way you're going to be able to make any decisions about your future is seeing how he reacts to this information that's been given to him. If he's going to put in the hard yards and say, yes, let's do this. I'm going to do this. Brilliant. If he shows zero interest, reconsider. Thinking back on when I used to work in nightclubs and bars and whatnot, like we obviously you have RSA and you have like your

gambling RSA I can't even remember what the equivalent of that is called these days but basically we would have a list of people who had gone through different gambling workshops and they had put themselves in a non-subscribe list so we had photos at the clubs of people who were not allowed to come in and use our poker machines or gamble in our venues and the club or the venue itself would actually be fined if you had allowed somebody who had a gambling addiction to come and be inside your venue. And now this takes a lot of self-preservation as a person who has a gambling addiction to put themselves on one of these lists, but they're the people who actually want to enact change. So if your partner really seriously wants to be different, he can ban himself, self-ban

himself from all of the clubs and bars that are around the area from the gambling room, not just from the venue, but from the room. He can also go on and you can ban the credit cards from all of the online gambling distributions as well so that he can't just go on and play you know online poker or whatever it is that he's playing but these are actions of someone who is absolutely serious about kicking their gambling habit the actions of someone who talks about stopping and then dips back in whenever they've had a hard day is really the actions of someone who's just telling you what you want to hear and not really making any changes or difference in their life so I think be very wary of that conversation because it can become a very cyclical conversation where you get promised

the world and then you know they say all the right things because they know that that's what you want to hear and then as soon as they've placated your anger or your hurt or that situation has died down you know they do it again there's probably a support group for you as well there are there'd be other people that what they're groups that want to talk about the problems they're facing as the spouse of someone with a gambling problem so if you need help as well don't don't you be scared to reach out and have the conversation too 100% whoa and that is our episode guys we're so sorry to have like done like a bait and switch with you today for today's episode that we do promise we just we did this because we didn't want to miss an episode we didn't want to not give you

you know what you come for the tea day the tuesdays thursdays you know that we're here it's a tea day i never thought of it like that so life on cart was due we didn't want to miss an episode which is why we are recording this literally at 11 o'clock on monday night when it needs to be out tomorrow morning i know lol it's ridiculous but like we're so dedicated to bringing you these episodes and we will have our normal tuesdays episode coming to you on thursday which is all about you know living and dating someone who is a narcissist i think it's gonna be a really interesting one to unpack. It'd be relatable to a lot of people actually. Yeah and for anyone who hasn't been in a relationship with somebody who is narcissistic you know I'm sure you know someone

and this term gets like thrown around so often and maybe it's a friend who's in a relationship that seems really toxic or maybe you know maybe you have experienced it with a friendship or with a work colleague so there's definitely going to be parallels and things that you'll be able to get out of this as well. It's going to be a good episode. See you then. Nah, that's not the sign off. Okay. Before we go, I want to say one more thing to all of our Facebook group as well. We have set up a brand new secondary group because honestly things are just getting a bit out of control on the main group. So Life Uncut Podcast is our main group, but I've also set up another one for everybody who has been talking about doing meetups. Not even talking, they've been

meeting up guys it's crazy so like we've had Brisbane meetups already there's people in Sydney who are talking about creating a meetup group and it's just like having a book club but a book club for life on cart where you can come together with like-minded people discuss the episodes discuss the topics that we talk about and unpack the parts of it that you agree with that we've touched on or maybe there's parts that you don't agree with us which is totally fine is it I guess so but yeah So then you guys can talk about your feelings about it as well. And like, it's just such an awesome community. If you haven't joined the Facebook groups yet, please jump on and do that.

Also the Instagram is life uncut podcast. If you want to just join the lols. And guys, I think there are actually some Melbourneites shout out to you guys. I'm so sorry that you guys are in lockdown. I think, I feel like sometimes we almost forget up here because Bondi is just sort of like normal, but just rub it in Brittany. No, but what I loved is a few of you have been trying to do your own meetups, but virtual. So you're organizing like Zoom meetups, which I think is amazing.

Yeah, it's been so incredible to see. So if you are feeling like a little bit isolated and just like you want to reach out to some people who are like-minded and obviously dig the same podcast and are into the same shit that you're into, then do jump on those meetup groups because yeah, like Britt said, even Melbourne has a Zoom meetup at the moment, which is just the most new age 2020 thing. And I'm here for it. Yeah. I love it.

Anyway, guys, you know the drill. Tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your sister, tell your brother, tell your friends. Just tell everyone and share the love because we love love. What the hell was that? Say that again now. We love love. We'll be right back.