Life Uncut - Uncut with Sam Frost - When it's all too much. Talking depression, pile ons and walking away from a career she loved.

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

Joining the podcast today is the wonderful Sam Frost.Sam is an actress, an author, a mental health advocate and a mum. She originally graced our screens on the bachelor 10 years ago when she was just 24 years old. Sam has had many ‘eras’ and we address all of them in today’s chat!We speak about: Being so young when she entered the reality TV world and what those experiences were like Being so open about the darkness of mental health and mental illness Becoming an actress on Home and Away, and navigating the criticism of whether she was ‘worthy’ of the opportunity The vaccination conversation and public backlash that Sam endured in 2021 Why she actually decided to leave Home and Away The fear of becoming a mum as someone who already experiences mental illness How motherhood has changed her life  What’s in line for her and her partner Jordy’s future with their son Ted You can find Sam’s Instagram here You can find Sam’s website and book here You can watch us on Youtube If you have an question please send it on it to life uncut podcast on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Darug Walamutta land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And I am so excited to bring you today's interview because it is somebody who joined us at the Brisbane Live Show and the conversation we had in Brisbane that night was one of my absolute favourites from the entire tour that we did. We have Sam Frost here with us today and the reason why I wanted to speak to Sam and we wanted to do this episode is because at the live show we saw a side of Sam that I think so many of you would not be familiar with.

So many of you know exactly who Sam Frost is. She was the very first bachelorette on Australian TV. She's also been an incredible part of Home and Away. She's an actress. She had her own radio show. She's written a beautiful book on mental health called Believe by Sam Frost. But something that Sam has struggled with throughout her life, it's something that has run in her family as well, is mental health.

And we went so deep on Sam's experience at the live show. and I genuinely think that if you are somebody who has experienced bad mental health or you have experienced how debilitating it can be or have someone in your life who is going through it as well this is a conversation that I think will make you feel so much less alone I knew I loved Sam I always knew I loved Sam but I didn't know how much I loved Sam in addition to speaking about mental health and I guess this goes into that conversation as well but Sam was so open and and didn't hold back in any capacity speaking about cancel culture and online trolling and everything that surrounded the time around COVID and the vaccination conversation her leaving home

and away the reasons why and the reasons why she disappeared I say disappeared but she almost did she really took some time off social media and out of the public eye I'm really grateful at how honest and raw Sam is in those conversations because not many people are well I think a very important thing for us to caveat before listening to this is that we do touch on suicide in this conversation we do touch on the extreme effects of mental health and I think that this will be hopefully I mean for all of you listening this is an opportunity for Sam to tell her side of the story and I think it really goes to show that sometimes cancel culture and when there's so much yelling on the internet it is hard to really decipher the truth behind what is happening

and really the impacts of what that has on the person who is at the bottom of the pile. Let's get into the chat with Sam. Sam Frost, welcome to Life Uncut. Thank you so much for having me. What an honor. Sam, honestly, when we had you in Brisbane at the Brisbane show, I loved it so much because we covered, which we will today, a bit of a rehash on what that conversation was. There were some very funny moments, but we also spoke a lot about mental health. So there were some very serious parts of that too, that you shared a story at that live show, which you said I'm never going to share this again and then we were like hey come on the podcast and

look I think your accidentally unfiltered story is one of my absolute favorites and I hope so badly that you're going to do it now guys I feel so uncomfortable about this story I shared this story in confidence in confidence because I was told before we did the live show I was told it's not recorded and straight away I was just like oh that's a weight off my shoulders safe place. There was 2,000 people there though so it wasn't like it was an intimate chat. It felt intimate. Yeah. Between us and 2,000 people and also I had a couple of champagne so I had Dutch courage. I had my best mate with me. I was not mumming for the night so I was like oh look at me. I'm frame fabulous. I want to tell this great story and now you guys keep bringing it up

and I don't want to tell it. It's so embarrassing. Look we are not going to make you do it but also we'll stop the interview now. You can leave. Go home. I think it's the only reason why I'm here to retell that story but I feel like it was the equivalent of being in the girls bathroom when you've had a few drinks at a nightclub and you just start chatting that's what that story was but anyway you are welcome to tell another accidentally unfiltered story firstly I just want everyone to just be open-minded and be open-minded and rebel Wilson shit in broad daylight in on Hollywood Boulevard and someone's front lawn she told that so see okay people have done worse things all right guys so I'll tell you a little quick story

so I was traveling around in a caravan because I love traveling around caravans so fun I was with my best friend traveling she had gone home so I was by myself and guess what so I don't even know I don't even know how to start this story okay as people know who have been in the caravan when you need to go and do a poo which every human does by the way it can be very smelly you also have to clean it out of the canister and it's just really gross and disgusting anyway a guy I really liked was coming up to my caravan another hot caravan it was coming to your caravan yeah and we were just like gonna hang out anyway I was really nervous and obviously when I get anxious you just really need to go to the toilet and I was just like oh no no no no no so what I did when I

was busting to go to do a poo I got a plastic bag because I didn't want the toilet to smell I didn't want to be gross and disgusting you didn't want to have to clean out the canister correct gross so I put a plastic bag in the toilet and shit in the plastic bag and then and then I tied it up in or not and then I was like oh great where am I going to put this and I was also really mindful because I was in a small town and it was I don't ever like being this person but people were really recognizing me and I didn't want them to see Sam Frost shucking her shit in the bin well especially when they're like Sam Frost doesn't have a dog with her so whose doggy bag is that exactly who is that so I got really paranoid about it and it was like weighing on my brain I'd felt like I'd

killed someone I had the dead body and I didn't know what to do so then I was like okay where am I going to put this he's coming over I'm stressing I'm freaking out so I put the shit in a freezer and I just left it there and I thought okay great just leave it there salt yeah and it's not going to smell because I just I don't know if shit freezes but it does and it won't smell frozen shit can't smell it's also out of sight out of mind baby Laura freezes her shit all the time she knows no you know how they say freeze prawn shells so that they don't smell when you put them in the bin no I didn't know that there you go that's another tip see yeah that's what you do so then and anyway then he ended up coming over and then he was like

going through my caravan like opening up the drawers and i was like don't and i was like don't i was like don't don't don't don't don't anyway then i was driving around for like three weeks with the shit in the freezer it was freaking me out why three weeks because i was nervous i was nervous i didn't know what to do with it i didn't know what to do with it and i was stressed and i was worried someone's going to recognize me putting it into the bin so then i i ended up like i don't know i was texting all my friends paranoid going i don't know what to do with it and I literally one day it was really dark got out chucked in a bin and just quickly drive and anyway that's what happened it's actually like what would happen if you forgot

and then someone went to defrost and we're like oh look at this steak it's a sausage well I only borrowed the caravan so someone else used that freezer after me oh that is so right well I really want caravan sponsors to still sponsor our show i'm not gonna do it anymore so she's a virgin caravan shooter i'm not gonna do it anymore if any caravan companies want to travel much this one's my travel show i won't do it it's also different now because now you're in a committed long-term relationship where you can just poo in a caravan around your husband like it's fine 100 and he has to clean it out because i'm not touching it sam and i almost don't know where to start with you because there are so many sections of your life that i have loved and

admired and I do say admired because what you did becoming an actress and you were on radio and you just had this incredible career off the back of we'll call it misfortune we'll call it the bachelor for you was not great but what I love the most is that you've gone down a real path of being a mental health advocate and it's it's a big part of your life in the last couple of years how did you and why did you get into that world so heavily? I think one of the main reasons why is because obviously I have grown up struggling with depression and anxiety and it was conversations that weren't being had when I was a teenager. So I grew up just thinking something was wrong with me and I thought something was different about me. I didn't, yeah, I just thought, I genuinely thought

something was wrong with my brain. So it put me in a really isolating position when I was younger because I didn't understand myself. You don't talk to psychologists when you're younger and even these conversations weren't being had. So it was a really confusing time for me. I was a really angry teen. I was sad. I was super depressed and had all these really suicidal thoughts constantly. And that was scary. And I've grown up, my mum suffers with mental illness as well so it's something that I have been broadly aware of but again my mum wasn't diagnosed with anything it was just you know it was just the way she was and it wasn't until we're older that there's more education about mental health and mental illness

that then you can then label it get the proper medication proper help for it but these that wasn't being had so you just are like oh something's wrong with our brains well I can only imagine that if you're struggling with something that your mum is also struggling with it almost becomes normalized you're like oh this is something that people just deal with and they not that you don't get treatment but that this is not abnormal because this is my experience especially as a child correct and you sort of feel like you just go oh well I'm just like my mum and this is how we behave and this is what's normal you know so that that's really tricky and my mum's a beautiful person. She's so strong and resilient and she's been through a lot. And I have grown up watching

that thinking, oh, this is just the way it is. Knowing that you are somebody who has struggled with mental health at different periods of your life, it seems like it was a pretty brave decision to put yourself out there to go and do a reality TV show like The Bachelor. Because they do, they do psych tests, they talk about the strains and the pressures. And I know it's one of those situations where you kind of never know how much of a strain or how much pressure it's going to be until you experience it yourself. But why did you want to do that, knowing that it was going to be such a big life change? Well, I think at the time, so this was in 2014, I did The Bachelors. That was 10 years ago. And it was before... Makes me feel old.

Yeah, it was before reality TV really was what it is now. And it was before Instagram. So it was before, like Instagram was around, but it didn't have the, you didn't get the following, you didn't get all the things that come with it at the time. I didn't think so anyway. It was very new. We only had one bachelor season beforehand and that was Tim and Anna and they loved each other and they still love each other. They're beautiful friends of mine. And I actually think I was just really naive. And I was yet 24 in a small town thinking, oh, I was very, I genuinely was like, they're going to search the whole country for the perfect guy and I'm going to have the opportunity to date amazing. It's crazy that you say to me that you were 24 years old, because I went on The Bachelor

when I was 30. And when I remember watching you, I had no idea you were so young. I just didn't feel like that. It's hard for anyone at any age, even with life experience to be in that position, let alone you being the main character and only 24 years old. What was that like coming out on the other side? It was one of the most surreal experiences. I remember seeing the billboard for the Bachelorette. And even at the time, a lot of magazines were writing about it. And, and I felt like it wasn't me. I was like that. I don't know who that person is, but that doesn't feel like me because I don't know. I just felt like there was this huge misunderstanding of who I was and people assume they know who you are. And I think you girls get this a lot. You know, people think that

they know you and you're like, you don't know me at all. You don't know anything about me. So it felt like I was really detached from that experience but also at the same time I did very much experience that I did experience the humiliate I felt really humiliated I remember at the time after the bachelorette after the bachelor sorry yeah I was really humiliated because I was like oh I had really genuine intentions and someone's manipulated that and at the time you think everyone's got your best interest producers have your best interest and then you realize afterwards you're like oh I think they played me they're creating a storyline well I mean for anyone who doesn't remember or for any younger listeners or someone who didn't watch the

bachelorette or bachelor Sam Frost was on Blake Garvey's season Blake chose Sam and then very shortly afterwards he changed his mind and went with the person who was number three I think he tried to get number two and then he went to number three like he really the guy was unsure and that's a terrible thing to be if you are the actual bachelor. Off the back of that, Sam, you became the bachelorette. You were the very first person that when Australia saw the heartbreak, they then got around that heartbreak and wanted you to have your happy ending. What was that second experience like of doing the bachelorette? It was much different. And yeah, it was really different. It feels weird having to go back in time thinking about it, to be honest. But I had much more

uh I had yeah I had much more more control and I had a better understanding of what it is and I was really adamant that I made the choices about who stays and who goes and I had a really beautiful conversation with the EP she was fantastic she was a different EP from the first season and we sat down and I cried and cried and cried I remember it was at a cafe in Bondi and I was like this is real for me this is a real experience you guys see me as a character as a puppet in your show and I'm like this is so real I want to find someone I was so humiliated how can I trust you again and she just said I want you to be part of it as much as or as little as you want whatever it is and so I put in different guidelines I wanted off-screen time with the

person that I chose I wanted to make sure they were genuine did they give you off-screen time they did they were really good they really no one gets off screens no one gets it yeah I know So I was really, yeah, I'm not sure if I was allowed to say that. That was 10 years ago. That was 10 years ago. Matt and I had off-screen time. Yay. I did not know that.

Yeah, we had heaps of off-screen time that wasn't played out on TV. No wonder Nick didn't pick me. I would have won him over in a heartbeat. Well, I think it's because you go, oh, this is the person I want. You tell them and then they go, okay, cool. They make it happen, yeah. And maybe that was the difference in that. What, he didn't want me from the start?

No, he wasn't sure. You made me. Thanks. It's always too soon. no but I understand and I think that that's kind of one of the reasons why people are so in disbelief that someone could pick a person on a reality tv show and then be like but you don't even spend any time together and I always kind of felt like but we did spend lots of time together and even explaining that to the other girls from our season I quickly realized they didn't get

off screen time with Matt but I had and so my experience with him was very very different to their experience with him yeah yeah is that I didn't know that about you guys that's well it Must be nice. Okay, so moving along. No, I did want to go back into something. I mean, this is still in the mental health realm, but just something you said before because I think it will resonate with a lot of people.

You said when you were younger you thought something was wrong with you with your thoughts. You thought your brain wasn't wired right. Can you tell us a little bit more about what you mean by that? Like what were the feelings and thoughts that you were sitting in and when was the time where you realised, oh, okay, not everybody feels like this and I might need to go and investigate this? yeah that's a really good question definitely I always felt different and I can't really describe

the way I felt it was more like I felt like I didn't belong anywhere I didn't I had great friends but I didn't feel like I had safe people that I trusted I didn't feel like I was I don't know I didn't like being in my body I hated myself I hated my brain I hated the way I looked I hated my thoughts I hated everything about who I was and and some people would put it down as being a teenager but I could tell that my thoughts were so destructive and yeah it was ruining my life there's many times when you're like that when certainly in my teenage years in my early 20s even late 20s to be honest when you're feeling like that and you're suffering from depression and you're in this dark black hole, you feel like you're a burden

to everybody. You feel like you would do the world a favour if you weren't in it and that is a very familiar feeling for me. I am too. Yeah, it's a feeling that I have lived with for a long time and do you know right now that the world is definitely a better place for you being in it well I look at my beautiful son and my partner and I the world the life I have now and I and I guess that's why I'm so passionate about talking about mental health and mental illness is because

there is a bright side there is you do get better something that I think is so powerful and it was one of the conversations we had in Brisbane, let's all sit here and cry together. I was not expecting it. Sorry, guys. Sorry. Oh, goodness. Was people look at you and think, but she has it all. You are beautiful. You are successful. You're an actress on TV. And I guess even in that moment, you're playing a character. But I think at that live show, people got to see a version of you that they didn't understand existed. And having that visibility allows people to have empathy because, you know, we all know, we all know, and we've all been told that mental health affects people in different ways. It's very different having someone sit in front of you and say,

this is how bad it got for me. And I don't know if you want to go into it or not to whatever depth you feel comfortable, because I remember during COVID with the whole vaccination thing. And this was at a time when you were just about to bring out your book, Believe, and I had been sent an early copy of it it is a brilliant book and it was so beautifully written around mental health and your messaging around vaccinations got really caught up and really got turned into something that it wasn't and that's how I felt when I saw it at the time but also at the time I was like fucking I'm not waging in on an internet war do you know what I mean and that's how I think most people in the public I felt they saw that whole thing unfolding and everyone was like that's gonna

blow up right which when I look back now I'm like what a hugely alone time that must have been for you when your main purpose was to advocate for mental health and it was twisted into something that it wasn't. I would love to get your insight on how that unfolded for you and where you were at. That was an awful, I feel like 2021 was an awful year for my mental health in general. I had a lot of stuff happening in my family life that I keep private to protect my family. There was a lot of things happening in my private life at home in Melbourne and we'd lost our stepdad as well. And it was a really yucky time anyway. And then with all the vaccine mandates and all the pressure and on social media and everyone, and then people was saying, you're going to lose your job. And I was

like, what is going on? Like it was a really confusing time for everyone. I don't think anyone was okay during COVID. No, no one was. I think the type of person that I am is I'm a very open-minded person. I can see different points of view all the time, regardless of what I think about it. So if someone tells me an opinion that's different to what I think, I don't have hostility towards them. I just go, oh, that's really interesting and have a conversation. And I just assume people are like that, but it turns out they're not. But yeah, so when I did the video about that, the whole, if you actually watch the video, which many people didn't do, if you actually watch the video, it was all about mental health. And it was about how I was saying, no one is okay

right now like whatever you think about these vaccines everyone is struggling with their mental health and you need to be compassionate and have empathy towards people who may think differently to you that was the whole point of the thing of the messaging and it got absolutely twisted out of context and turned into something bigger and far uglier than what it was meant to be and it actually proved my point entirely to be honest because I was saying there's no space for people to have conversations anymore you're like here's my social experiment worked yeah correct you know and I had felt quite isolated at the time because I wasn't able to have these conversations I thought there must be so many people who were feeling like this my mental health was not okay and I said that

in the video as well I was just like I'm not okay I don't know how any of you guys are feeling but yeah it was a really tricky time and then yeah the fallout from that was quite ugly as well and And personally as well, I just felt like I was completely misunderstood. But anyway, it was gross and ugly and I ended up just going, oh, man, like I need to go home and be with my family. So that's when I made the decision to leave home and away and go and be with my family. How did you survive that time?

Did I? I really leaned on the people that I love. My sister's amazing. My brothers are amazing. I've got such an incredible support system. I've got beautiful friends. yeah who just held my hand through that and just supported me through it but the annoying thing is as well is then people go oh she's an anti-vaxxer and I'm like I'm not an anti-vaxxer my child's

immunized I'm immunized all I was talking about was the mental health issues that are coming out of this is people are struggling and the pressure is not helping people losing their jobs and saying you can't earn an income if you don't make this decision and what did it look like for those people that are listening right now so that they can fully understand because sometimes people come in see a post or an article put their two cents down and walk away and they have no idea that that is contributing to something that might have been going on for months on multiple platforms on multiple levels on multiple sources facebook instagram the news your dms like everywhere but to them they walk in they put their comment in and they walk away what was it looking like and

feeling like for you over that time and how long did this go on for I mean I still get it I still two years three years later yeah it's been three years and sometimes you still get the comment about it and you just go I can't even describe it like it is so rattling when these things happen and you just cry and cry and cry and all you can do is cry and you switch off your phone and you feel like you're like oh my god everyone hates me and especially when someone is vulnerable and they have spoken about having mental health issues and I was in a really vulnerable space at that time and I was like, oh, this is not great.

And I just, yeah, well, basically I did. I crawled in a hole. I quit my job and went home. So, yeah, I mean the thing about online and social media and mass outrage is it's most of the time people don't really know what they're talking about. I agree. People read a headline and just comment on it and, like,

do you know what you're actually talking about? And when you actually look at things in context, and this goes for all media, for all articles, when you actually read what was said when they're quoting someone and making hysteria around something that someone said, when you actually read it, most of the time it's actually not that bad. Yeah. It's like, you've got to dial it down 90%, you know? But the thing is, is that it's the people who contribute to outrage culture and something we've spoken about on this podcast before. And I think it's worth mentioning it now People use outrage culture as a way to grow their own Instagram following. It's like if I get angry enough and loud enough at somebody else on the internet and I point

my following at their following, it actually helps grow your individual following. It is a literal tool. And there's been studies that's been done on this. Nobody's Instagram following will grow faster than if you are angry about something. So think about the people who you follow. And I think this is an exercise for everyone. Think about who you follow and did you start following them because they are very angry about a topic, multiple topics

or what that looks like because I think that that's always a good litmus for like why it exists. And sometimes Irish culture isn't always for the right reason, you know. There are times when it's absolutely justified and there's times where it's pointing and firing at someone. It's also one of those things that you never know. It's such a cliche but you don't know what someone else is going through ever.

and do you want to be that person that contributes to a pylon like there are plenty of people around the world that have been in positions where they have been on tv or in the media that have suicided because of the back of pylons i can absolutely understand how people get there it's enormous and people don't understand that it's not just the comment oh you're ugly i can handle that it's people literally tell you that you are better off dying go kill yourself all this sort of like gnarly shit. I don't know if I can swear on this thing. You know what I mean? And you just go, yeah, mate, everything you've said, I've thought it myself. So I don't need you telling me. And what happens is Instagram also, its algorithm is designed to get you engaged,

to get you outraged, to get you angry. And what it's actually doing as well is it's making people more fired up and they get a dopamine hit when they start firing away calling people out and I'm like this isn't the culture I want to be a part of but this is very true so I mean I'm just going to throw Instagram stats at everyone because I find this stuff so fascinating but Instagram knows like social media knows that if you're engaging with content on the platform that makes you feel happy you will spend less time on the platform than if you engage with content that makes you feel angry. So it is going to feed out that type of content far wider with such like ferocity because at the end of the day, the only thing social media cares about is how long

you engage with that platform so they can serve you as many ads as possible. And it's, I mean, sometimes I just think when I see these sorts of fucking pylons go down, I'm like, people just need to, not you as in the people who are on the bottom of the pylon, but like people need to put down their phones, go and touch grass and like breathe some fresh air and think about what are we angry about because sometimes it's like the causation of what has happened is so far and it just kind of spirals into something bigger and uglier than it ever was in the beginning correct yeah anytime in I'm in those situations or I even see it happen to other people I've seen it happen to people that I love and I just turn my phone off because I can't even watch it secondhand because

it's so awful and it causes so much anxiety and I'm just like I feel sick for them this is awful and it just you know anyway and then people go ah I don't care anymore now I'm over it I've got another issue to worry about you're like that person is still struggling because of all the bullshit that you said to them knowing that mental health and anxiety are pretty prevalent what are some of the things that you do that help you when you're having those moments I stay off my phone that is the number one thing I do anytime I'm feeling really anxious I'll switch it off not go near it I'll usually I would lay down on the ground when I'm feeling super anxious and you've got this knot in your stomach and you can't get out of it I'll lay on the ground close my eyes

and just count and just try to breathe really deeply until I can steady my breath and my body will listen to my breathing and I tell myself that I'm safe and I'm okay and then I sort of regulate and then once I don't feel that deep panic once I've sort of regulated my body a little bit more I'll do things like read a good book or sometimes if I'm too distracted or wired for that then I'll go for a walk I'll call my sister I'll call a friend or something like that if I feel like I'm not going to check you know social media or send anxious texts or anything like that then I'll call someone but yeah I spend a lot of time by myself when I feel those knots and things like that some people prefer being with other people it just depends on your personal

style, but yeah, I'll usually try to do something that's grounding. And sometimes that's just eating some Vegemite toast. And what are the differences in, I guess, what does it look like when you have a depressive episode for those people that don't actually know if that's what they're having? Because I feel like sometimes there are so many articles, people, research, Google that make you feel like you're so broken and there's so much wrong with you for your episodes. What actually happens what are the symptoms most of the time so it's fight flight and freeze and usually I go into a freeze state where I can't get out of bed I can't eat I don't shower I can't think anything positive or productive and I'm just in this spiraling loop that's what mine look like

sometimes yeah most of the time I lose heaps of weight because I'm just like really anxious and And then, and again, social media, I mean, I've blocked heaps of comments now, but social media always like, you look disgusting, eat a burger, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you're like, you've got no idea. Shut up. You have no idea what I'm going through. Okay. Just stop.

That's why I prevent posting when I'm feeling like that now. But sometimes like when I was working, these times are unavoidable. You have to post, you have to promote your work. And sometimes I'll go to work and I'll be happy and hey, how's it going? and then like the second I get in my car you just crash and burn you just go back into your hole and that's just trying to live with it. Have you ever been on medication for your mental health or have you ever explored that? For me personally I go and see psychologists as soon as I'm so I can feel it within myself when I'm feeling like I'm at the end of my week I can feel it coming because

I'm so used to it now I'll go and see psychologists and always workshop things through with her yeah that's what I personally like to do. But yeah, everyone's different. Your life has changed so much over the years. And I honestly, I feel like watching in from the outside, it's, you know, we talk about Taylor Swift eras, but like, I feel like there's been like different versions of you throughout like your media profile, your personal life, you know, your reality TV time. And one thing which I think resonates throughout this conversation, but one thing that has always resonated throughout looking in from the outside is how authentic you are and now you are in a whole new phase and that is being a mum. I remember you said at the live

show, you were like, it's so fucking good. It's so good. And I loved hearing you say that because often we, we highlight all the shitty bits about parenthood. We highlight all the things that are hard about it. And every time I hear like a new mum, who's got a little kid, who's in the thick of the shit bit, like Teddy's on heads one now, like you're still in like the hard yards, but hearing people go, it's so amazing, I think is really joyful as well. And we don't hear that side of parenting enough. I mean, Sam did walk in today and be like, Oh my God, he's been up all night. I'm really tired today. You know, and also for people who have mental health struggles to hear that you can have a child and have joy within that as well, because I know that that's a fear

for so many moms and so many women, like, well, what if I have a baby and it makes things worse? A hundred percent. That is exactly how I felt. I was so worried. The dread that I felt about thinking, what if I have postnatal depression? I already have a history with depression. So this is really scary for me. And lots of people talk about how hard it is and warranted, absolutely warranted. I'm not saying that's not, but I was really nervous about it. So what I actually did before I had Ted and I was pregnant, I started seeing a psychologist just to touch up. Like a health check. It is. It's like a tune up for your brain. It's a little tune up. That's a good way to say it.

Yeah. And I was just like, hey, I just, my number one focus is I want to create a secure attachment to my child. I want him to feel safe. And I'm so nervous about having postnatal depression. She helped me through it. And yeah, she was amazing. So I continued to see her through my pregnancy, even when I had Ted. Yeah. And sometimes I'll still check in with her, but I can honestly tell you that the worries that you have are warranted and you're allowed to feel like that feel what you need to feel you're allowed to be conscious of it because I think if I wasn't conscious of how I would feel mentally I think that would be or you wouldn't have done the preparation correct yeah but yeah I can I can honestly say it is the most fun I've ever had

I am so happy and I also think you know I'm really grateful for having mental health issues in the past and, and even, you know, I'm susceptible to it. So I think I'm grateful for that because I know what it feels like to feel low. And I'm like, this is amazing. Like I'm tired, but this is so rewarding. I feel so much love and we have such a beautiful relationship with Ted. He's amazing. And I, I just feel so grateful that I get to experience this and it's something so positive. And I'm just like, look at this tiny little thing. Like this is amazing. They're so cool. They're so much fun.

I can't even express that enough. How do you think it's changed you? I think, well, I just feel really happy. I feel really content. I feel really peaceful. I think that he has brought out the best side of me. He's a little gift to this world and I feel like he came into our lives, into Geordie's life, my life and our family's life at the perfect time.

He has brought so much joy into all of our lives. and he's just this gift of love and happiness and he's just cool and funny and I just think he's the best and he's just made me the best person I could be and and I and the thing is like I feel really confident in my mumming you know I'm like I feel really good about this like I can do this I think I'm doing a good job so I feel really good and he's just the best and I feel really lucky so you're even selling it to me a little bit this is what I say I mean I know that everyone has different experiences of motherhood when I say this I never want someone who's listening to this, who's having a fucking hard time to be like, cool, thanks for rubbing it in

my face that you're finding it so great and so wonderful because I know that that exists for some people. But I do think that that version gets a lot of airtime these days. We often talk about the struggles of parenthood and that's not something that is unknown, but I don't think we talk about the great bits enough. And I think so many people go into motherhood frightened that it's going to totally fuck their lives, like frightened that they're going to have to give up their friends and give up a social life and give up traveling and give up literally everything and that's one of the things that you have been so passionate about and carved out is that you and your partner you had ted and you were like no traveling is so important to us and we're not

only we're going to do it we're going to make a tv show about it yeah exactly i think that in a caravan in like the hardest version of traveling as well yeah we just cruise around but you can still have it all and I think that's really important to remind people for sure I have days like the other morning I could not stop crying I was just like I'm so tired but that was you know I had that but then you look at him and you're like oh that's you know it's all worth it so you definitely still have those days but mate it's so good like I went out with my girlfriends last night I have a beautiful time with my partner like we have the best relationship and people always worry about their relationship with their partner. And I had a girlfriend of mine who is

currently heavily pregnant. She's like, everyone keeps telling me it's going to change. And I was like, mate, Jordan and I are so good. We're the best. Like we have to communicate better and be on the same team. But apart from that, we have so much fun. Totally. And you have to prioritize things like sex stuff that like used to be so easy to do. Now you're like, guess we'll do it tomorrow night. But then you actually have to do it tomorrow night. You can't be like, we're going to fuck in the evening. And then the evening comes, you're like, I can't be bothered. You have to follow through we have to do pinky swears yeah because that's sex the other day he's like do you want to do it and i was like you're like not right now but i will later no i was like

tomorrow and he goes no because then tomorrow will come you say you're tired and i was like pinky swear pinky swear pinky swear anyway and then to moms around the country understand this and then i was like we had a pinky swear babe and he's like yes i mean his clothes could not have come off quicker honestly but i think that's really important even not even if you have kids right like people that are in really long-term relationships you have to make an effort for relationships relationships become something that you need to literally consciously turn up to do you know what i was actually thinking of you brit the other day because you know because you post a real spicy photo on instagram stories and i was like i remember those days because ben would look

at that and be like oh you're sorry oh yeah i still do that for my long distance relationship oh yeah that's gone you're in sexy land you get the sexy text i'm sure you're doing all sorts of bits and pieces on facetime oh oh yeah it gets hot it gets hot and heavy on that screen you are in like a fun zone like i remember feeling like i saw one of your posts and i was like oh yeah i remember doing that sort of stuff we don't need to schedule anything in like we are doing multiple times a day when we're together two months i reckon there's a reason i can't walk properly still is your vagina working now it's on overtime it's like it needs to go on a vacay which is why long distance is great it has a rest may i say your photos ooze i'm having three lots of sex

every single day yeah i must say you look at sam she just banged no sam why do you not say the same thing to me why don't you look at my instagram and think i'm fucking all the time look i saw the video about the poos because you're not because you're absolutely not and we know you can tell you can tell right back at you sam right back at you but doing a little um switcheroo any gear let's talk about your acting you've had some time off now because you did settle down and have some kids and you some kids one kid but how did you from the outside it looked like one day you were on a reality tv show and then the next day you were like the biggest hottest thing in australia like you were on home and away who everyone wanted to be on home and away it was

like you know the show we all grow up with from the outside overnight success is that actually how it played out? No, no. I mean, I remember when I got the job on Home and Away and people were really annoyed about it. Some people were very mad. I remember this. There were people who were like, how dare she? When, you know, like what's her experience? What's this? And you proved yourself so well on that show. But how do you, I mean, how do you even deal with that negativity when you've just been given the opportunity of your dreams? Yeah. Well, the thing was I could actually understand where they were coming from I could completely understand that they would be annoyed about that because they've obviously were like jobs for actors are so rare that I can

understand why someone goes mate she's from reality tv why is she getting a job that I deserve I've studied for 15 years like correct and I completely understand that but in my position I was the one that got the opportunity and I'm like I'm not going to throw this away because you don't think I deserve it I just had to put my head down and work my ass off and so that's what I did And yeah, it was, I think I had to work three times harder because I had people telling me that I wasn't worthy of the job. You know, I think that worked for me because I, you know, I had to work really hard and I did.

And I spent five years every weekend and every weeknight I had, I was doing, going to acting school. I was working with private tutors. I was, you know, studying, working with dialect coaches and voice coaches and doing all sorts of things, improv classes, you know, anything. I just really put my head down and focused on that and it was more so because I felt really grateful that someone saw potential in me and I wanted to prove that person right yeah I was like thank you for believing in me I'm going to prove that you made the right decision and it was also

you know one of those opportunities I think people would die for and I was very grateful for that so I just thought I'm going to make the most of this and work really hard no one's turning that opportunity down no one but I think that's also what people don't realize is that they they see you turn up on the screen because that's what you're going to post and that's what the public sees but they don't see the work that you're putting in either side like I didn't know that you studied every single night and every weekend and did all those classes like I didn't know that and many people don't know that so I think that's really important to know that again like you just don't know what's the effort and the work someone's putting in behind the screens yeah the behind the

scenes for sure Sam you mentioned it like a little bit and I guess I'd love to get some clarity around it. Did you want to leave when you left home in a way, or did you feel like you had to leave? Both. And did you feel like you had to leave because of just everything that was going on in your life? Yes. I felt, I ended up getting vaccinated after all that anyway. And I was like, so it was worth nothing anyway. All right. I got it anyway. Anyway. Yeah. So I did end up getting it. And then, but it was by that point, I was just like, I was so fatigued mentally and I had realized I think COVID was great in a way that it really realized your priorities and I was studying when I wasn't working and I had you know sacrificed relationships and time with my family

and I'm like I just miss my family I miss me I missed myself and I missed what I feel like when I'm hanging out my brother's playing Mario Kart and just laughing and I was just like I need that back because I don't know who I am anymore and I'm lost in this messy confusing world at the moment and I was really drowning in all that social media noise and media noise. And I was just like, ah, no, this isn't good for me. So yeah, I was already temporarily written out because the times to get two vaccines, I wasn't going to be able to hit it because I was late. I got mine later. So I was already getting written out, but then I decided, I said, I don't know if I want to come back. I think I want to go home and spend time with my family. And they said, well, you're

already written out. So we can just leave it at that. So they were writing you out for the break and then obviously you're, you're going on holiday or whatever, and then you're going to come back in. Yeah. So I've left quite abruptly out of Home and Away. You went down to the corner store for milk and just didn't come back. The disappearance of Sam Frost. But was that, did you feel support from Home and Away when you just, well, I mean, through that whole process? Channel 7 were amazing. Home and Away, the producers were amazing. I honestly cannot stress that enough. like that was so good to me and they yeah they were supportive they knew I didn't want to get it and they really helped me when they told me it was mandated they didn't just do it ruthlessly they

called me and they said Sammy we want we need to see you they're like it's not it's not our decision it's being mandated and I burst into tears and I was like oh no and I was like now I've got to make a decision and it's a decision I didn't want to make I wasn't ready to make anyway uh yeah so they were really good they put me in a meeting and I was like oh okay so I've got to make a decision and then uh yeah I thought about it and I was like yeah all right I'll get it but by then it was just too noisy and messy and my mental health wasn't great and I need to go home and be with my family well speaking about being able to then prioritize the things that are important to you and opening yourself up because I'm guessing when you're filming and you're acting

and you're studying that consumed so much of life which doesn't leave much room for relationships but then you went on to meet your now partner who you have ted with how did you guys meet he wasn't on survivor yes so jordy was on survivor just two reality tv people coming together you know you know what it's like yeah literally yeah you're actually doing no i don't know we've all been there yeah it was like it's so wild as well it's just a classic old thing of being like i left home in a way not having any idea what my life was going to look like i didn't have a job to go to I wasn't in a relationship and I just thought I just need to open up space for a relationship for you know even just dating stuff just like make room and then new things fall

into place correct and it literally happened just like that I went to a pub my brother's like oh come on Sam come hang out with us and I was like all right anyway so I went there and yeah and he was hanging out with Geordie and I met Geordie and actually that night we didn't spend heaps of time together I just was acutely aware of his presence and then um and then he's your brother's bestie yeah and then he always wants everyone to know I hit him up okay did you in the dms yeah I did oh you hit him up in the dms I hit him up he's also seven years younger so like you're a bit of a cougar with this one I vibe that too because I'm a classic cougar go get what you one it's so great what was your dm sliding do you remember your opening line i can't actually

remember i know my brother did say to him he's like oh this is so weird and gross my sister's like my sister thinks you're hot and i was like you're gonna bang my sister yeah and then i ended up yeah then we went uh what did we do oh man oh yeah and then like and then i just invited myself over to his house romantic it went from zero to 100 real quick i love you like what do we do where do we go for our first date oh that's we did doggy yeah that's right yes we didn't actually have sex so you know i've got you guys oh didn't you oh cute you know just so wholesome keeping it classy you know you made it work i waited two days so yeah it was it was good by me sam frost keep it classy from 2021 yeah anyway that's what happened and yeah it was like when you know you

know it was amazing and he's just a cool dude we have very similar interests he drives me crazy sometimes but I love him so much were you guys planning on having a baby when you did we did actually well well he always says his version and my version are very different he always says how I was trying to get some young pup to procreate with. Because he's like, I did say, I was like, oh, you know, I'm getting older, I don't know how long it's going to take, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, it didn't take long at all. So I baby chapped him.

I didn't actually, don't. That's what I say about that as well. Do you know what I remember, what I want to ask? I've wanted to know this since it happened. When you were pregnant early, it wasn't announced yet and I'll never forget you posted a photo and it was just a photo of you guys but in the background was a pregnancy book and it was only up for like a minute and everyone was like an aha moment, screenshot it.

Did you intentionally try to post that or were you actually like, oh, I just ruined everything? Well, I actually thought. Was that it? Yeah, so it was a corner. It was the bottom corner of a pregnancy book. I actually went, oh, what fucking geeks? Get a life.

like how do you know that's the book like anyway that's what I actually thought and I was like who cares like I didn't actually care at the time it wasn't intentional but yeah I just remember at the time being like man get a life you accidentally announced your own pregnancy with a very famous pregnancy book though I remember it I remember seeing the corner yeah but it's like it was just a yellow it was like a tiny yellow corner I can't even remember the name of it but I because I mean we had babies before you but like you know I've seen I've read all the books that you would have read at the time but I remember seeing it and I was like oh that's a great that's I know that book you know it was a really common book that like you get Sam you are honestly you're such a dream

you have your new tv show it is called Sam and Ted's Travels it's called Geordie Sam and Ted's Adventures it's called Geordie Sam and Ted's Adventures six episodes we can't wait to watch it also for any mums or soon-to-be mums out there who are pregnant who think that your life is going to be fucking over it's not watch this be inspired take your newborn baby in a caravan travel Australia we can't wait to see it and we're so grateful to have you on the podcast we're grateful for your vulnerability and for how openly you share everything we love Sam we do and having you at our live show was honestly it was one of the absolute highlights oh thank you so much thanks for having me it's a pleasure if you enjoyed the episode guys please go and share it with a friend

you can also get Sam's book it is called Believe by Sam Frost it is a beautiful conversation around mental health and also if this is something that you think would help somebody maybe you have a friend or a family member who is in the depths of struggling with their mental health please forward this episode on to them and also know that if you do need to reach out the number for lifeline is 13 11 14 and you know the drill tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog tell your friends and share the love because we love love We'll be right back.