Life Uncut - Welcome To Life Uncut

Episode Date: July 29, 2019

Hi Beautiful people! Welcome to Life Uncut! Join us, Britt and Laura as we delve into the deep, dark, intriguing, confusing, hilarious but mostly wonderful world that is Love and reality TV. We reveal a little about our shared reality tv past, how we got there, how we met and some Bachelor chat so that you can get to know us. We are an independent little podcast just starting up and would love for you to share the love! Please subscribe and leave a review to help us grow. Because, well, we love love. xSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Well, you guys asked for it, so here we are delivering our very first podcast. Brittany, how many people exactly asked for this? Okay, full disclaimer, less than 10. You got 10, I didn't get any. But anyway, here we are. And we're here to talk to you a little bit about relationships, dating, love, got a bit of reality TV in there, a little bit of life, just a little bit of our personal opinions. Well, I mean, we were having these chatty conversations over breakfast and it was actually Britt who was the one who decided that maybe we should put some of these thoughts down and start a podcast. So, Britt, what makes

you think that you have any qualifications to give dating advice? Look, I don't know if you saw the end of my bachelor series. Yeah, that's why I'm asking, babe. I don't know if that makes me overqualified or underqualified, but it definitely gives me an opinion. No, look, I have a bit of a dating history, single a long time, and I started to get a lot of people writing to me and asking questions personally after that experience. So I thought, I'm just going to have to put pen to paper, voice to microphone and get it out there. But I mean, that's my story. Why are you here? Oh, I'm completely unqualified to give dating advice, but that will not stop me. I look prior to dating Matt and to our relationship being where it is now.

I, yeah, I had some pretty colorful dating experience and I feel really passionately about going through breakups and going through ups and downs in relationships that they can have. Breakups can have really positive outcomes for people and that it should be treated as as a learning experience to be able to better set you up for your next relationship so that is where my experience comes from yeah look I completely agree many breakups I think yeah I think that breakups these days and going through a really tough time has a bit of a negative connotation to it but I agree and I don't think it has to I think we can learn a lot and it shapes us

into who we are today so I think it'd be nice to put a different spin on it and learn some things and speak to different people and just get a different view on things. Yeah, I mean, well, it is incredibly painful and it is incredibly difficult, but I think that from some of the most challenging aspects of life is where we do our best growth, and I think that it also sets us up for making better decisions in the future. So, yeah, it's nice to be here and to be able to chat about these things. Yeah, definitely.

So, Britt, we had very, very different experiences on The Bachelor. Why did you do it? why did I do it? The million dollar question. To be honest, I have two best friends and I have been single for a very long time, seven years. And they had been pushing me to go on The Bachelor years ago, I think maybe season three. And I just thought, no way, no way, no way. And they kept pushing and pushing and pushing. And I just said, you know what? I'm going on a round the world trip. If I come back in three years and I'm 30 years old and I'm still single, which mind you, I absolutely did not think was going to happen. I thought I was going to go meet the man of my

dreams in some foreign country. I thought, if I come back, I'm going to apply for The Bachelor. And you came back and you were still single and you were like, I'm going on The Bachelor. I was 30. I was still single. And I was like, sign me up, baby. I'm going on. I think I was pretty similar in my reasoning for going on the show as well. Although I didn't really do it thinking I would meet someone. Very, very happy that I did. Oh, you didn't? You actually didn't think you would meet the man? Well, I had such a mottled dating life in Sydney as it was and I'd found dating really challenging that I kind of did it more

as a bit of a joke. Not a joke, that's probably a bit harsh. More for the experience. Yeah, for the experience. And I thought, you know, I'd make some friends. If by some wild chance I met an amazing guy, then, like, that would be what a wonderful story that would be. But I didn't have any expectations around it.

I've been in and out of some really difficult relationships and I think I just wanted a break from it all. And then I got my happy ever after outcome. But just backtrack a little bit. You have told me this over coffee, but you have quite an interesting sort of sign up story, don't you? Because you were not sold on going on The Bachelor. Oh yeah. No, my sign up story, so I didn't actually sign myself up. My two housemates at the time were the ones who put my name down and it was done over a drunken Mexican fiesta. Obviously the best ideas come from drunken Mexican fiestas. And they entered me, they did the application process, which I don't know if anyone who's listening has actually applied for The Bachelor. It's a very lengthy,

takes about 45 minutes to an hour to actually answer all the questions. So I was really lucky. My housemates did that for me. And then a couple of months later, I got a phone call from the producers asking me if I wanted to come in and audition and at the time I didn't I didn't really think I wanted to go on it I hadn't really processed it but um as I got closer and closer and closer to it actually happening I kind of ebbed between yes and no yes and no and eventually I was there I mean I was late everyone else was already in lockdown and I showed up the next day just casually strolled in but better late than never hey but maybe that is the secret not overthinking something, um, not putting any expectations on it, just thinking I'm going

to risk it for the biscuit. Let's turn up and see what happens. Yeah, absolutely. I do think that there is a, like you can't be set for disappointment if you don't have any expectations on something. And if you're approaching something with a more casual outlook on it, I think that that's why it wasn't until I'd spent a bit more time in the mansion that I actually felt like I was getting really invested in the process because I hadn't been hung up on it working out for me. And also you saw Matt's abs, so you're like, oh yeah, I'm invested. I am here for this. Let's be real, Laura. Yeah. He's got some pretty good abs still. Unlike me at the moment. That's for sure. Oh yeah. I would just like to make a comment to what I'm looking at right now.

The dream is what she means. I look like the dream. So Laura is sitting opposite me. She's just come from work. She has just finished a workout late last night. She's also nine months pregnant I am most pregnant people at this point in time their pregnancy would be out winding back and sitting on the couch just you know enjoying the last few moments that they're going to get without a baby attached to them and I've decided I'll start a podcast yeah three days out so I'm literally just now googling how to deliver a baby just in case please don't please just drive me to the hospital if that happens so this this podcast has been recorded a little bit in advance purely because there is the potential that I may drop a child very soon.

Yeah, we did want to get the ball rolling. We had this idea and we just thought let's get this first episode down now so that you can go off and have your baby in peace and then we'll continue from there. Well, it's one of those things, isn't it? You have these bright ideas and these conversations and then they never come into fruition. However, with Brittany, it was sort of a spark of an idea over breakfast

and within an hour of me getting home, she was like, so we're recording a podcast and I've booked us in and this is the name and we're ready to go. So it made it really difficult to say no because I am here. So I actually, no, to be fair, I did say, look, were you really into this or did you want to semi-pull out? Because you can do that now. And you were like, babes, I'm already Googling. I was already too far invested. I was already sitting in the chair when she said that. You're in. We've got our name already. You're a soul. So I want to know a little bit about your experiences on The Bachelor and how they

differed from what my experiences were. I mean, we're going back. Mine was a little while ago now, it was two years, but yours was the most recent show that we've had. And we are gearing up for a new season as well. So tell me like a little bit about what your dating life was before the show and why did you go on? Okay. So I have been single seven years and I had had two serious long-term relationships my first partner eight years wonderful man still can't fault him but i was young and it's that young relationship where it's all consuming but your babies and we just grew apart my next relationship was uh to be honest very destructive very abusive um in multiple ways it did not end well they're fun relationships aren't they yeah that's the

I think we've all had that experience and so many women and men that have had that experience, and I think it'll be nice to touch on that later and bond over some stories. But after that ended, I just needed to go and find myself, live my life for me, and I just thought I wasn't going to waste any more time unless I thought something could be the big ending, the happy ending, and I just hadn't found that. So I've dated a lot, a lot.

I am essentially I like the emphasis on that I feel like I'm a wise old dating monk if there's such a thing well I mean I think that comes part and parcel if you've spent seven years on your own you are gonna you know be in that dating world and be meeting lots of different types of people but it's important and also figuring out who's your type of person exactly what you want who you want and how you want that to happen so um I mean there are a thousand stories that we will share over that seven-year period. But let's fast forward. Seven years later, three years around the world, 30 years old, still single. So, I just thought I have zero to lose and it's my next big adventure. So, I'm going to sign up for The Bachelor. So, there I was. But I believe you've

got a bit of a different dating history. Well, I guess I, I mean, I am quite an independent person. However, when it has come to my dating past, I have been very codependent in my relationships. I honestly haven't had a big stint in my life where I've been single. I really have sort of monkey branched and I hate that term and I hate that I even did it, but I monkey branched from relationship to relationship. And I think that that really came from a deep seated need to be loved, um, and to be, to be valued. And I, and I got a lot of my self-worth from feeling like somebody wanted me. Um, it did mean that I spent a lot of time in relationships that weren't good relationships and with people who didn't treat me properly. Um, you know, not, not to say that

they were all bad. I definitely had some great relationships. They just weren't the right person. Um, and it's funny because for me, the actual show of going on The Bachelor broke that pattern and that cycle for me, because I actually had some time where I wasn't, I wasn't the only person like we, Matt and I weren't dating from the get-go. We were getting to know each other and things were a lot slower, which sounds really ironic because things seem like they move really fast on The Bachelor. But for me, it was much slower than what some of my normal relationships had moved. And it gave me some time to really be introspective and to think about what sort of relationship I want and whether Matt was the type of guy I wanted and yeah it broke a pattern

a really really difficult pattern that I'd spent many years trying to break and um so now I'm now a bachelor advocate everyone should sign up for the show we did we did you could end up like us oh yeah we did say that this was not going to be a bachelor podcast and um we will just sort of touch on it from here and there we will do some um we will do some bachelor recaps when the new season does start. However, we just wanted to be able to bring to you a little bit of information about us and some background on who we are and why we did the show originally and how we even came to meet each other. Laura, good call. This isn't going to be a Bachelor reality TV podcast. I'm out of here. I don't know if you know. I thought that that's all we were talking about.

That's all I've got in my life. Oh no. Look, of course we're going to touch on it. It is our history and I have zero regrets at all. Actually, I do want to say that. I have zero regrets. I loved my experience. We can't ever really get away from that. There's a reason we're here together now and that's because we had this shared experience. Yes, we will recap The Bachelor. And I'm a sucker for reality TV. Let's just put that out on the table there right now. I love the stuff. I used to hate it. I used to think reality TV sucked. And now I'm a born again Illuminati for reality TV. I have listened to your Married at First Sight. and also the fact that i'm soon going to be pinned under a newborn child will mean that i have so

much time to spend in front of the tv definitely but no actually you may be thinking how did we meet it's a common misconception that everybody in reality tv becomes friends and joins this cult well that's likely ever after that's because they're all hanging out together on the daily mail it's not a misconception everyone seems to know each other well i to be fair don't i do not know anyone else from other seasons except you and that is honest and how we met is actually an interesting story so it was sort of the last maybe two weeks week of my season as it was airing and things started to really heat up I was having quite a hard time uh with the media and um people and people on social media can be horrible yeah I think I think to give a bit of context to this

There was an episode on Britney's season where she had confronted Cass about something that had happened. Cass had been dating Nick in the real world and Brit had confronted her to ask her, you know, what the extent of their relationship was. And it was from the conversations we've had now, I understand that it was a relatively edited conversation. but I think it's one of those bait and switches where it's really, it becomes really obvious that sometimes the audience changes their opinion on someone based on something that happens really quickly. And so, you know, you see it instantly on social media where when someone does something wrong, it's like,

you showed your true colours and all of the trolls come out. So I was watching, I was actually just looked at Britt's Instagram while this episode was rolling and I saw that she was copying a bit of flack and I felt really bad for her because I had been in the same situation the year prior yeah so yeah we Cass and I did have this conversation and just to put this out there Cass and I were like sisters and best friends from the first episode and we still are now and that never changed the conversation was literally Cass um I've just found out you were in a relationship with Nick at some point and all I want to know is if there's a love between you

to should I leave? And that was the conversation. And I said to her, I didn't even care at all, but there's a bit of chop and change in there. And that's unfortunately not what went to air. So I did get a lot of heat from that for a few days. And so I wake up. Well, I don't wake up. I wasn't sleeping because of this. It was 9.30 PM. That's why she didn't wake up. That episode airs during the daytime. I get a message from Laura. Now, I don't know Laura. Obviously, I know of her. I get a message from her saying... I slid into her DMs, guys. Oh, she was the first person that's went into my DMs actually. Still haven't gotten lucky.

Points for trying. I get this message and it just says, hey, love, look, you don't know me and I have no ulterior motive for this, but I'm going to say I know exactly what you're doing right now. You haven't gotten out of bed in three days. You have food wrappers all over the floor. You think the world hates you. You think your life is never going to get better.

You have been in tears. you're not sleeping because you're monitoring your social media and thinking the whole world is about to implode um and I'm laying there thinking oh my god is this girl my spirit animal or is she in the next room watching me because that is exactly right um she's like I've been there I've been where you have been and the world has hated me as well this is my phone number if you ever want to talk and it's very unlike me to do this but I called you straight away yeah well look I mean I just want to I mean I want to correct you on one thing okay because because the world didn't hate you and the world didn't hate me. It just feels like it at the time.

You know, you could receive 500 amazing complimentary messages on Instagram and you might get one trolly message where someone tells you that you're shit and you should go kill yourself. And it's that message that really hurts your feelings. So I think I wanted to reach out to you when you were in that situation because I had experienced that the year prior. And also So Alex Nation had reached out to me when I was in that situation and I felt, I've actually still never met Alex in real life, but I just felt so grateful that there was somebody else who actually understood how I was feeling at that point in time. And I wanted you to know that there was somebody else out there who knew how you were feeling.

And I am so grateful for that, honestly. It was really life-saving at that point. And I feel like just a heads up, if you're listening, the winner of the 2019 Bachelor, I'll probably be reaching out to you at some point. I was like, do you know who it is? They're finished filming. We actually know nothing. So any recaps or anything that we do come to you just from our spidey senses.

No, but I feel like it's one of those things that you pass on every year. So I feel like at some point I'm going to have to reach out as well and do my part. Yeah, absolutely. I think that there's a due diligence when you've been in that position before. And the problem is, you know, you go on these reality TV shows and people think, well, you signed up for it. Like you opened yourself up for all this bullying and you made your life public, but no one really makes you equipped for that. There's not, there's not any.

And you don't know until you know. I really like that thing. Yeah. You know, but you don't. You don't know. I mean, we still don't know. What are we doing? Britt, tell me a little bit about what was different from your experience than mine.

I mean, I know that we were in completely different bachelor mansions. tell me what did you guys eat as in like when you weren't on camera did you cook did you get a Woolworths delivery like we did like how did it work oh you were Woolworths no we were Coles I think we were Coles too we were actually on an avocado ban but then I found out the avocado saga I feel like that's every year every mansion has an avocado saga so the way it worked for us was that um was that we had a weekly allowance to split between all the girls so our grocery shop had to be less than the weekly allowance and obviously things like avocados are damn expensive so everyone couldn't and there was also a cyclone at the time that had wiped out a lot of the

avocado stock I don't know why I'm getting so into this but really it ruled our life for quite a while avocado cyclone of 2017 this is true this is very very true so we were all put on an avocado band um but you know what we we actually had it really easy we used to do big cook-ups as the girls like as a group we had like big family dinners we had pizza nights it was like being on holidays it was bloody great sometimes it was sort of like being on a resort with some of your closest girlfriends um so yeah we it's actually that's a really common question people ask me what did you eat and i'm like you can ask me anything about the bachelor and that's what you want to know and they really do well i think it's because there's also this misconception that like

all the girls put on heaps of weight while we're in there because there's nothing to do except eat chocolate and it there really is that you have free reign over everything and so it's quite hard to stay in shape also what was your gym like was your gym as shit as ours yeah so a funny story our gym was actually we had some pet alpacas i don't know if you saw that we did not have alpacas yeah i did but our gym was the alpaca shirt that they just ripped out the hay and then put some equipment in there so it was quite small look it had what you needed but it was gym is a stretch of a term ours was a garage like literally a garage that had a um a treadmill in it and some weights facing the wall yeah facing the door there was also a rat that lived in there too

but we don't we're not going to get into that but i remember we were so we had um we had different uh kettlebells like different weights and i went down there to do and i work out this one day and all of the heavy weights had been taken and i found out it was because matt had requested that he have all of the weights over 16 kilos. So I, I threw a little tanny and got our weights back. I was like, this is not acceptable. Good for you. I need to squat. God damn it. So anyway, so I mean, the bachelor definitely gets to rule the roost of the, of the bachelor mansion. That's for sure. Yeah. So we, we also just had a big yard that we would literally run around in circles like hamsters. So people think if you do think that we're allowed to go out for a run or a walk,

you don't you don't leave the mansion ever unless you're on a date oh yeah there's no there's no leave actually do you know what I I did get um a pass out to leave so did you so people don't get to leave them once once you're in lockdown you're in lockdown you don't leave you don't have access to your phone you don't have access to calling your family the only time that you're able to call your family is once for 15 minutes I think every two weeks on a monitored phone call yeah Yeah, so your minder will listen in and make sure that there's nothing that you're talking about that could give away any aspect of the show. And also they also listen in to make sure that your family isn't telling you

things that could make you want to leave as well. So it does go both ways. But I was able to leave a few days after I was in lockdown, and it was purely because I had to attend a funeral. Fair. Even for that, I was chaperoned by a minder to the funeral. I was what like they waited for me at the funeral and then as soon as it was finished I couldn't go the wake or anything I had to get back in the car and go straight back and and so everything is

monitored really really severely yeah it's good though I mean it needs to be done it has to be it keeps the privacy and it keeps the it keeps the um the the the ending the surprise magic and the excitement and the surprise absolutely yeah so um and what about so you and I in case people didn't know we had different mansions what were your sleeping arrangements like oh we have like a dorm room well i think your mansion was bigger than ours though yeah i've actually seen your mansion so i did hear that secret squirrel so that's for another time um so our our mansion was um two quite big or three quite big rooms and all the girls were in bunk beds in the room so in my room it was actually 14 girls all in bunk beds and then obviously that dwindled down as as the

Roses kind of also dwindled. But, yeah, it was like being on school camp, which was probably one of the funnest parts and also the most difficult parts of the whole thing as well. Well, it's funny because I think I had a room of maybe 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12. And you don't think about that when you go into the mansion. But what mansion is going to have – we had 30 women all up. What mansion is going to have 30 rooms?

Did you have 30 women in your season? Yeah, we had the biggest season ever. And then once the intruders were coming – You still couldn't pick anyone. Yeah. Bloody hell. Come on, man. I don't know what that says about Nick or what it says about us.

I'm going to say more about Nick. But, yeah, it's not a reflection of you guys. That's definitely for certain. What was your expectation of it versus what the reality, you know, going into the show, what did you expect it to be like versus what it really was like? Yeah, I don't know if I had too many expectations. I knew I was going to have a lot of fun.

I didn't actually when I met Nick on the red carpet that was the first time I thought when we when I realized how much we had in common and our connections and we were born in the same place I thought oh my god maybe I actually will meet someone on here I didn't really know going into that all I knew was I was going to have fun I didn't know if I thought I was going to meet the one as soon as I met him 10 minutes in I thought this could be it so you didn't really have any expectations at all. You just kind of went in and winged it. Yeah, pretty much. I think that's a good way of being. It's like my life motto, risk it for the biscuit. And that's what you've got to do. So that's what I did. Played it by ear. Didn't plan anything. A lot of people said,

what's your game plan going in? I'm like, what do you mean? Do people have a game plan? Yeah. No. They did the same to me, actually, thinking back. They wanted, they like something gimmicky on the red carpet. Yeah. They want you to go in there and bring a gift? What did you do? Oh, I said something ridiculous about Cobloaf. I can't even remember. I just, I blanked. They originally, I'm Laura Cobloaf. I pretty much what I said. It's, it's still surprises me to this day that he chose me. Um, I was, they encouraged me to try and bring a piece of jewelry. Um, sure. They wanted me to make something special for him and they wanted me to give it to him on the red carpet. But for me, jewelry is something that's such a personal

gift and I didn't know him at all. And I also didn't know even if he would wear a ring or wear a cuff or, um, so I really pushed back on that. And then I, um, they said, you need to do something like you have to stand out. And so I had told the producers that I was going to walk down the red carpet. I was going to pick a little flower and I was going to be like, Hey, I didn't want to show up empty handed and give him this flower. And as I'm sitting in the limo about to get out, the producer asked me like, what was I going to do? And I told her my plan. She said, Oh, you, you, you can't do that. Someone did that on another season. Oh, I had that. And I had no idea. And so here I am three seconds before getting out of the car, I had my lines all planned.

And so then they're like, okay, get out of the car now. So I jumped out of the car and I walked up to him and I was like, Hey, I didn't want to show up empty handed. Maybe I should have brought a cobbler oh my gosh i feel like i need to go and watch that freaking idiot anyway i still um and i and i looked like i was on crack because i i was so high on adrenaline like i was jacked on adrenaline that my eyes are pretty much popping out of my head so look you know what we got past the first encounter and things got better from there well obviously because any day now there's baby coming yeah it's all happening it really really is no I actually I actually took him fortune cookies uh yep and in each fortune cookie was a different color and in each fortune colored

fortune cookie was a different fortune obviously my favorite color had the best fortune and I did this because did they show this okay so they didn't but what they showed was me with all these little boxes holding them and I got so many questions after saying what what was in the box So if anyone wants to know, that's what it was. And for some reason they cut that out. Did you try and tell him that his fortune would be with you? Essentially, I was like, I see someone named Brittany. No, I did not.

And these are your lucky numbers. But, you know, full transparency, he actually did pick my favourite fortune, my favourite colour and my favourite fortune. But that didn't really work out well for me. Well, actually, just remembering back on your series, Britt, because I really did watch it all. I remember that finale episode and I remember Nick when he said to you and he also said to Sophie very famously that he wasn't going

to choose either of you. I remember you just seeming so calm, so like unaffected by it. And I know that probably that was a defence mechanism but, yeah, why didn't you kind of try and ask him some more questions or why didn't you react in a bit more of a way that I think I would have been thrown things at? Like maybe more emotional? So I got this question a lot on the media trail after.

For those that haven't seen it, essentially Nick sort of let Sophie go and let her think that it was me and then when my time came he gave me a very big speech and let me down. You know, so your heart breaks in that moment but I didn't cry. I didn't ask any questions and I just said, is that all? And then said, good luck and walked away.

And I think the producer told me I was the first person ever on The Bachelor to not cry once. But I just want to make this clear, in private, I was a mess. I just thought in that time, my internal monologue was, okay, this guy has just said on national television that you are not enough, that he doesn't want you. So to me, the reason why was irrelevant. for me personally it didn't matter to me because he said no it's you're not enough and it's not you so I thought cool get out of here right now deal with it later have you ever since that point

felt like you wanted closure because sometimes I mean I know that your first reaction to something not yours specifically but someone's first reaction to something isn't always then how they feel like I'm very much a person where where I if somebody hurts my feelings I'm like I'm fine i don't care and then when i've had time to think about it i'm like okay oh and i cared so much and deep down later on i thought maybe you should have asked him why more um only because i didn't understand it we got along so well we had so much in common we had the greatest time i couldn't understand how that connection wasn't there for him to want to explore still didn't really want to beg him or ask why you know surface level i just thought it's a no

I'm out but yeah um we did speak later on and he I hold nothing against Nick at all he's a great guy he just the wrong time wrong situation but um things could have been handled differently for sure but it's it's happened now and I think for a lot of women have since reached out to me and I think that's part of the reason we started this podcast so we could voice these thoughts and opinions to women everywhere, because there are a lot of people that, I mean, not necessarily been in the same situation, obviously in the bachelor, but the same situation where they're sold on something and their heart's really in it. And someone has just said to them, I can't really give you a reason, but it's not you. And to all those women, I just want to say that that's not

personal and that's nothing against you as a human or anything that you have done. It's hard to take things not personally though, when it's happening at the time, especially when you're invested and you're in love. yeah and that was a definitely a hard moment for me and it might not have come across because I'm such a strong independent woman that I had my breakdown in private and I didn't want to make anyone I didn't want to put anyone out and make them feel sorry for me when really that walking away from him was it was so hard to not even look back but yeah I think that that's also one of the challenges with being an independent woman is that as a as a female um if you put up these walls and

say I'm fine I don't need help I'm you know I'm strong people can sometimes see that as being cold and they can sometimes see that as not needing help and I think it's often forgotten that that some of the most independent seemingly independent people they just struggle through things on their own and they still need help but they might not ask yeah and and you know I think that as well like I I've learned a lot from doing reality tv and I I don't I have zero regrets I mean, I have a wonderful partner out of it and a life that I'm really, really happy with that I never would have had, had I continued on the trajectory I was on. Um, but I learned that there really is power in vulnerability and there really is power in allowing people to know when

you're not okay. Um, because people innately want to help you and they want to take care of you and they want to support you through difficult times. But if you seem like you don't need support or you seem like you're totally fine on your own. Girl, you got this. Then people don't come to your aid and you do get left on your own quite a bit. And I will now, probably the first time I've actually said it, so why not say it on a national podcast, but I will put my hand up and say, I am that person. I will never let friends or loved ones or public know that I'm having a hard time or I need help because I want to be the pillar of strength for them. But God, sometimes I need it, which is why we are here now because you reached out to me and I thought, this is a

stranger, but I'm going to just go and dump all my problems on her. But so like enough about me and my heartache. You had the happy ever after. And I think right now you're literally about to pop. You're in the prime of your life. You just got engaged. You're running a successful business. You just have this amazing life. You've got it together. Britt, you make it sound so flash. I also have really bad heartburn right now and I need to pee but I'm holding on because we've still got some time left for this podcast no I'm I'm really really grateful and incredibly lucky for the part where the point in my life where I'm at and had you told me two years ago that I would be here I there's no way in hell

I would have thought that that would be the case um I came out of two back-to-back really uh bad relationships, I would say. One of them, look, I'm not a psychiatrist, so I'm not going to call him a narcissist, but I think he is a narcissist. No, no. Look, I think we just met at a really difficult time. It was a two years of my life where I was pushing a relationship up the hill and I was really being lied to. And it was just, there was a lot of manipulation going on in this relationship. Um, but I wanted it to work and I was so blindly, uh, accepting and I had such deeply flawed boundaries on what was acceptable and not acceptable in a relationship that I really just let him get away with so many things. I was, you know, cheated on, I was lied to.

And then I went from that relationship into another one, which was, you know, he was a good guy, but he also had a lot of his own issues. And I just felt like I was on Groundhog Day and I was dating the same type of person over and over and over. So you would say you were sort of just in this negative pattern? Like deep down, did you know that these people were wrong and you kept doing it? Or what was your reasoning for going from this bad relationship to bad relationship? I was in a cyclical dating cycle. And so I was dating the same type of person on repeat and I was having the exact same outcome on repeat but I was just projecting it onto each different relationship so when I met oh sorry I was just gonna say do you think that that is a reflection

looking back now of how you were feeling at the time did you feel like you had no confidence or that you weren't deserving or do you do you know why you were doing no I think I was deserving I think these I mean they were very exciting relationships at the start and there was a lot of, I'm sure that we're all familiar with the terms of like love bombing. And I was made to feel so special and so incredibly valued at the start of the relationship, but to a point where it was very unsustainable. And then I met Matt. And to be perfectly honest, Matt probably wasn't the type of guy, had I met him in the real world and not in the bachelor mansion, we probably wouldn't be together um the reason for that would be because he is so nice he's such a kind

sweet person I mean he's still got a bit of grit to him he can definitely be sarcastic and he definitely has that humor to him but he would have been too kind too straight away I would have yeah I would have whooped his ass in the real world I would have owned him no I think I think in the real world I just would have thought he was too nice and there wasn't a challenge there for me and what I've come to realize through having you know two very happy years um is that relationships you don't want them to be a challenge oh my god you don't need to work at it every day and and I know that sometimes there's this great romanticism about like you fight for the one you love and and you know like like big relationships are worth the heart they're really not worth the

heartbreak just they're not easy you should be hanging out with your best friend laughing really enjoying yourself and having time with them that that brings you happiness and joy someone who makes you cry all the time is not someone who's supposed to be in a relationship with no and I've heard a lot of your conversations with Matt and I've even read some of your 35 texts to each other a day and they are actually really funny why are you going through my phone again god but my point is you guys laugh all the time and I think for that for me that is what I'm looking for. And I think that's the key to any healthy relationship is don't take life too seriously and just have somebody that you can laugh with. Well, when you think about it, like

the start of your relationship shouldn't be the part that's the hardest. You shouldn't be overcoming all these hurdles at the beginning. You should really slot into each other's lives, make each other happy. You should be working towards common goals because by God, when you are pregnant and fat and everything hurts, things get harder. But also, you know, when you have kids and you have money issues and life really, you know, throws challenging things at you the longer that you are together in a relationship. So if you're already on rocky territory just trying to be together.

With no other external sources. Just trying to be together. That's not your relationship and I think that sometimes when you're in it, it can be really, well, it is really, really difficult to walk away from something, especially someone who you love, but sometimes you need to to be able to open up time and space for something else to fall in place. Yeah, and I do believe that, well, personally,

I think that there's more than one person in this whole universe for us. Oh, yeah, that's crap. Sorry. And so I think a lot of people think if they leave now, they'll never meet anyone else again and they'll be alone, especially women. Women have this idea that being alone is a failure, being single at 30 is a failure.

Oh, okay. But I couldn't disagree more. So I don't know if Britt's going to like me bringing this one up, but I'm bringing it up anyway. Okay. Yesterday, Brittany showed me a Instagram story that one of her friends had posted. And I know, I don't know this friend, so I'm sorry that I'm calling her out, but I know that it came with the best of intentions. Basically the Insta story. Hold on. I'm going to pull it up on my phone. Give me two seconds. I'm like a grandma trying to. We'll just set the scene here. Laura and I were

obviously, this was only last night and we were talking about today, recording what we're going Oh, here we go. Give it to us. Okay. So her girlfriend posted a photo of Brittany and herself and the caption is this. Guys, seriously, this girl is still single. She's a catch. Passionate, fun, fit, tons of amazing energy and devoted. How is she not taken? I don't get it. I have decided to now manage the shortlist of her potentials. DM me your CVs if you're keen to meet an amazing woman i'll set it up at britney i am dying right now r.i.p me i am dead i read this and i was like you you can't do that i i was dead for you okay i i i mean look i know that it comes with the best of intentions but why is being single such a yeah why is it something that you

should be not not embarrassed of i don't think that that's what what is being pointed out but why is it a flaw okay so I think obviously I know this is a very good friend of mine and I had been talking to her only a few days earlier and I'm sorry very good friend I don't mean to uh to call out your but maybe don't do that again I think look it had really great intentions behind it and because she genuinely wants me to be happy and meet somebody and of course and she doesn't she says to me I don't get it I just don't get it and she obviously I didn't know that that story was coming I mean your closet crazy but apart from that no one knows that until you tell them all no but it had good intentions and she just wanted to put that out there but also I couldn't stop

laughing crying I was mortified but I was happy I didn't know how to feel about it because I know it was a good thing but then you put a different spin on it when I was talking to you about it I didn't have any negative energy towards that I just thought it was a bit funny but also a bit like sad for me but you you sort of thought well hang on is this her saying that it's it's not cool to be 30 and single or that you're desperately trying to find someone or you had a different take on it my take on it was more so that I was like why why do you need someone to take it into their hands like I trust that you have the ability and you are a smart enough vivacious enough charismatic enough woman that when the time is right you will meet the

right person and that I think by making it seem like there's a flaw there or there's an urgency that it makes someone who's single and who's looking for a relationship feel like there's something fundamentally wrong with them. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with you at all. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with anyone who's single. It's just when it falls in place, it eventually falls in place for a very long time. So it's not something you need to rush. No, and this is something that I would like to change the way we look at things. I have had so many women message me or slide into my DMs and just say how inspirational I am to them that I'm single. And when I first heard that, I was gobsmacked because I thought being single

and 30 is not inspirational. Buying a house at 20 is inspirational. Travelling the world is inspirational. Tell me I'm inspirational for that. But women, that's what they mean though. I think when you do get people, yeah, I think because you have accomplished so many different facets of life and being single hasn't stopped you from doing that. I think, you know, sometimes it is a bit daunting to do things on your own and that was probably why I was a constant relationship hop because I was you know I found more purpose being able to travel with a partner or being able to have someone to validate my decisions and I found it difficult to make those big life decisions on my own whereas you seem to have no problem with that and that's that is something that's

aspirational and that you shouldn't lose yeah I just want women to know that you don't need a man to complete you, you need them to be added, an added bonus to your life. You need to be whole on your own first. And then when they come, they add to it. So I just hope anyone listening out there, if you're single and you're thinking that you're too old and your ovaries are drying up, please, they are not. You just keep doing everything that you love and life will just fall into place. So, okay. Then does that mean that you, like what sort of dating are you doing? Are you, are you on online dating? Are you open to meeting friends? Are we, are we sourcing people through Instagram now? I don't know. Is this podcast a setup for Brittany? I don't know.

Should I put an ad out there now? Please call 0402. No, that was actually going to tell you my phone number. Please don't call me. No, look, God, there's so much to the dating world that we can discuss and I can't wait to delve into that at later dates. But yeah, I'm definitely dating. You have to be in it to win it. But having said that, I think life after The Bachelor has, it's probably made dating worse for me, to be honest. It's made it harder to meet somebody. I don't exactly know why um but I've been on online dating a little bit but I have a lot of fake profiles actually that people have sent to me so that has made it a little bit hard oh of your profile yeah people like actually to be me I was listening to Tommy Little speak about

this the other day and he was saying that he was on uh tinder because he really wants to meet someone and people weren't taking him seriously because he's Tommy Little on tinder um hi Tommy Hi. So tell me if you're listening, Brittany is single. No, but really, I get that. I do think that that, I mean, it would have an added complication to it when you do have a bit of a profile or, but I guess as time kind of passes and as your bachelor's season fades, which it does, that'll become easier and easier. Yeah. Look, I've been on, I've met a few really great people, but also I've met a few, like, excuse my language, but there are some assholes out there. I think that especially on online dating, that it definitely breeds some interesting characters. And it also is an environment where people, obviously, as we all know, are there for hookups as well. So you've got a real mismatch of what people's expectations and wants are.

So I think that it's really important when you have your first meeting with someone that you're really clear that you're not in this for hookup or you're not in this for, you know, sex on the first night or Netflix and chill. You just, you know what I mean? Like you want a relationship. And I think that that is, it's okay. It's not premature to have that conversation on the first date because you're setting down your expectations and your boundaries. You met this person on a dating site. It's not like you've just met them through friends and you're like, hi, I want a boyfriend. But on a dating site, I think it's important when you go on your first date that you then

set down some boundaries. It's nice to meet you. This is what I'm looking for. What are you looking for? Because don't waste your time. And I think also now, to be fair, Instagram is essentially a dating site. What are you talking about? The DM slide-ins, because that's what it is now.

What's the difference with swiping on Tinder and then messaging somebody? Actually, people see people on Tinder and then they go and message them on their Instagram. anyway. So I think now in this day and age, Instagram is as much of a dating site as Tinder or Hinge. There's one called Hinge now, which, you know, I did go on for all of four hours, but. I, yeah, look, I mean, I definitely dabbled in the world of online dating. Dabbled is probably an understatement. I, I was well into online dating for quite a while before, um, before meeting Matt, but, um, I didn't look, I mean, I had some long-term relationships out of it, but they were both my most difficult and my most flawed relationships. So I don't know

whether I really met anyone that was even potential for dating through online dating. My sister, Sherry, we were on this round the world trip together and she actually met her now partner, which I think they'll probably get engaged this year, but Sherry Blocker is. But they met on Tinder in Scotland. So I just think that's a great story and he's an amazing person. They have an amazing relationship. And I know actually a lot of people that have had success. Oh, absolutely. Having said that, I have some horror stories that I could share with you guys. Well, I can't wait to get into the horror stories later on, unless you want to share one of them with us now. Oh my God, no, that's a to be continued. Yeah. Let's not cover off everything

on the first episode. No, no, no, no. So I think before we wrap this up, I want to know about, because this could be the last time we speak to you when you have a baby inside of you and not on the real world. Yeah. Look, this will be the last time I'm hoping that you're having some contractions over there right now. Actually last night, last night was really hard. So I've had a really great pregnancy so far. Um, I've, I've really, I've actually really enjoyed it. I feel like one of those obnoxious pregnant women who are like pregnancy is great. I don't know. It's Instagram filters, babe. Um, but last night I couldn't sleep and I was having some pretty hectic, uh, practice contractions last night. So I was, I was almost going to message you this

morning and say, we might need to reschedule and maybe giving birth. I mean, I was waiting for that call. But, um, yeah, look, life is going to change incredibly in a couple of weeks. And, um, instead of it changing there, how has it changed from when you do just finished as a couple? How has being pregnant changed your relationship? Is that something you have found has put more pressures on or has it made it has it better and strengthened your relationship yeah look our relationship has definitely changed obviously we got engaged whilst we've been I've been pregnant um which is a little bit thank you yay um it's a little bit back to front but we we have always kind of um danced to the beat of our own drum Matt and I and and you know us

getting pregnant at the start it wasn't something that was um it was planned um but we i don't know if people have followed our journey at all um prior to this but we we i was pregnant we had a miscarriage that was definitely a surprise um the miscarriage wasn't like we um got to the 10 week mark we were both really in and really stoked and excited and then we found out at 10 weeks that that, that was not viable. Um, but that really changed our perception on when we wanted to have kids and when we wanted to start a family. And we went from being like, Oh, we'll have kids in two years to being like, Oh, screw it. Let's see what happens. And, um, and within two months, not even a month, I was pregnant again. So I was really lucky that I got pregnant very quickly a

second time. Yeah. And this pregnancy has been really great. It's changed our relationship it massively, it has made us really, really close and it's made us really connected on what we want and where we're heading. So, it's, you know, I think we've moved from that like, oh, we're boyfriend and girlfriend to very much we're starting a family, we're building something together. This is forever. Yeah, we want to buy a home, we're investing in things that are ours. And I think that, you know, anyone who's gone through that shift in their relationship, It really brings you together and it really sort of solidifies that you're in it for the long haul, which is a beautiful feeling. And, you know, I do think that having a child together is more of a commitment than getting married, that's for sure.

Oh, 100%. Yeah. But, you know, the funny thing is the hardest part so far about this pregnancy has been other – so I know that everyone sort of says, you know, people always have their opinions. but I'm really happy with people giving me their opinions because I don't I've never been a mom before I don't know what I'm doing I'm quite happy to take advice um but the one advice that's really been upsetting me lately has been based around how much work I'm still doing at the moment and my going back to work after having the baby because you do well you run your own business very successful business but you don't really have that option or luxury I should say to take

six months or a year off no well that's just it so I mean I yeah I run my own business with my sister and um it's impossible when you run your own business and you are the sole person that's responsible for quite a big department of it um things don't just stop you know I can't just give myself six months maternity leave and that seems to be the thing that's upset a lot of other young like so like early mums so my friends I've got some friends who have recently had kids and when I tell them that I'm not really taking maternity leave and that I'll still be working from the laptop from home and I'll try to juggle it as best I can. They're almost bewildered but to a point where they're almost offended that I'm not taking time off to spend more of it one-on-one with my

child. As if you're not like I'm not being the best version of a mother. Yeah that's a bit that's tough. Yeah well it feels very judgmental and that's been the biggest thing that I've had to overcome but me Matt and I are really lucky in that Matt has a very fluid job as well and so he is at home and he's he's very very hands-on he doesn't have a nine-to-five job to go back to so he he keeps saying he's going to be a stay-at-home dad but you know he'd probably be great essentially we're going at this 50 50 and so I feel incredibly blessed that I have his support and I and I do have that flexibility to go back to work because work gives me so much purpose and it's really important to me it's it's a huge part of my identity um and as much as I'm looking forward

to being a mom and I want to be a mom I still will be a mom I will be and I'll be a great mom I'll be the best mom this mom this mom oh yeah right the best mom this kid's gonna have baby brain yeah but um I so that's been my most challenging thing so far is really dealing with other people's expectations on what my maternity leave should look like and um and their criticism of that. Yeah. Yeah. And I think women these days, we are having children later and we are becoming more independent. We are taking our children to work and it's nice to change that stigma and not have it a negative thought that, oh, you have to go for six months and stay at home in your house and never see the light of day again. Yeah. I actually went to this

really interesting talk recently. The CEO of Adore Beauty, I cannot remember her name off top of my head. Um, but she, she spoke about being a CEO and being a mom and she talked about how she juggles it by not, um, but she only does jobs that add value to her relationships or to her business. So for her, she was like, you know, cleaning isn't something that adds value to her time with her children. So she has a cleaner. Obviously she's lucky that she earns enough money and has that potential that she can do that. But you know, she has segregated her life in a way where she's able to prioritize the things that add value to her relationship and the things that don't, she delegates. And I really want to try and implement that as best I can.

You're not a good delegator, are you? I'm getting better at delegating. But I can delegate the bits of my life that don't add value to my relationship with Matt or my relationship with my children or my relationship with my job. So for me, I think that that's the best part of it is that if I can get other people to do the ad hoc bits and pieces that take up a lot of time, then essentially I'm still going to be a good mom. I'm still going to be very present and be able to be there for the sport, be there for the nappy changes, be there for the cuddles, but I don't have to be there necessarily for the

cleaning or the cooking or the other things that, you know, become part of day-to-day life. Absolutely. And I think that is not to give you a big head or toot your horn, but that's pretty inspirational. Toot it! No, it's inspirational. What you're doing, you're working hard. You're literally giving birth any day. You're still working out. You know, you're going to go back and run your business and you have enough respect for your partner, Matt, to be a stay at home dad. And I think a lot of women worry about that. Oh, maybe he, the man's not going to really know what to do at home.

Oh, Matt will be amazing. He won't be a stay at home dad in that. He still has, he has a lot of work to do, but, but he will be very hands-on and Matt's always wanted to be a dad. And so he will thrive in that environment. He's an amazing uncle and, and yeah, he, I mean, He's gotten more into the nesting than I have. He's done the whole house. I mean, I did see the undies he bought you a few days ago, the old Bridget Jones. I think he likes them too.

I reckon he low-key does as well. Matt, if you're listening, you need to get a life. No, look, and I feel like we've covered a lot today. And today, just so everyone knows, this will be a podcast about all things love, relationships, life, lust, just a general reality TV. And obviously, reality TV because Laura is the other half of this podcast, so I'm never going to slip that by her. But we did sort of talk a lot today about our bachelor experience and our dating history

because we do want to set that up for everybody, but this will not be a podcast about us and about just the bachelor. So, I'm looking forward to the next few weeks. We've got some really good topics we're going to be talking about and obviously, Laura will be back with a baby, so I'll be commenting on life as a mom, hey? Yeah, I'll be talking about my horrific dates and you'll be like, well, I got vomited on this morning. It's still in my hair right now.

It makes a great hairspray. Britt, we said we were going to finish all of these episodes with our suck and sweet for the week, which is basically our highs and our lows. So come at me, babe. What was your highs and your lows for this week? Okay, so I think it's important we always start with the suck first. You know, my suck this week was probably, to be honest, and this is, you know, not a really big thing,

but I have had no time this week. I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I just got back from Byron Bay really late last night. Oh, it sounds so difficult. It was work. It was work. Byron, oh, this is such a suck. I told you this is going to sound bad,

but I just haven't even had time to scratch myself, and that's not a bad thing, but it's the worst thing that's happened to me this week. And my suite was probably I just signed on with Beautiful Minds, which is the only government-funded organization. Oh, yeah. I love this. Tell me about this, Brittany.

Yeah, well, they're the only government-funded organization that will go around and speak to girls, young boys as well. I'll only be speaking to the girls aged from, you know, 11 up to 17. And we go to schools and we do workshops and we speak to them about just growing up in today's society and body confidence and social media, bullying, loving yourself. There'll be things about sexting, suicide, depression. everything. So it's really important that we are getting these girls in a really good headspace

and setting them up for life after school. I love that you're doing this and I love that this is a conversation you're bringing into schools. But you haven't quite started this yet or it's? It's very new. I've just spoken, had my meetings with them and I'm just signing on. So that's amazing. So you've become an ambassador for anti-bullying and I'm excited. Yeah, I think it's great I um but what about you what's what's your second suite for the week oh look I'm pretty immobile at the moment like my second suite um what sucked this week um okay well I mean you just got your coffee order mixed up three times oh my god I'm gonna complain so hard about the cafe downstairs don't name it no I'm not I'm not gonna name and shame could you imagine but they

did take 25 minutes to bring me my coffee, which I ordered as a takeaway, which is a long time to wait for takeaway. And then it came out as the wrong coffee. And then I had to wait another 15 minutes for the right coffee. That's a long time to wait for. No, but then they brought it back in a mug and it was supposed to be a takeaway. It was a whole thing. But that, I don't even think that was my suck. That was just a very unfortunate, very drawn out part of my morning. I think my suck for this week has been like I'm I guess the uncertainty around the pregnancy and like the birth yeah a little bit of that a little bit of anxiety a little bit of fear I think that comes into the whole headspace of pushing out a small human out of a big human out of a small hole and

just trying to get my head around says that's hard well apparently I'm not the first person to do it but I'm the first time I'm doing it so it's a big deal for me you're allowed um so yeah I think that that that I have had a little bit of um uh I wouldn't say it's not anxiety but just a bit of concern it's been keeping me up a bit at night apprehension yeah and I think it's also the excitement of it as well my suite for this week um Matt is home he had been traveling for quite a while um he's been recording or filming um an exciting project for himself but he's been away for three and a half weeks which was really difficult being this late in my pregnancy and him not being around so he's home he has been the dream trying to set up our house and and that's

been really wonderful um and yeah I think the fact that we're having a baby next week well let's end this on you have zero idea what you're having boy or girl but let's just call it what do you think it's gonna be all right so this is it this is it you'll have a baby any day drum roll I feel like We need to take bets on this. Okay. I'm going to pick before you. Okay, go. I'm going to say boy.

I'm just going to go boy. Although you're very like quite small and compact. I also think I'm having a boy. Do you? So we can just like pat each other's back if we're right and if we're wrong. Let's just stop podcasting. The end. Yeah.

Don't listen to anything we say. Okay. Well, guys, thank you so much for tuning in to our very, very first episode. I'm sure we will figure out what the hell we're doing as we continue down the path. Oh, I hope so. But my cheeks are hurting. I've had a smile on my face the whole time and I think you have too. Because you've been looking at me.

Well, I am looking at you. Yeah, exactly. But, yeah, thanks for tuning in. We can't wait to keep talking to you over the coming weeks, months and potentially years. Yeah, and we're going to be dropping a podcast every fortnight is what our aim is at the start. Especially while you get your head around baby life.

Yeah, so tune in and we look forward to talking to you again real soon. Have a great week. okay thanks bye