Life Wide Open with CboysTV - How CJ Overcame the Hardest Time of His Life
Episode Date: October 12, 2021CJ explains how one bad concussion gave him lasting effects for over a year. And how that lead him to the start of the CboysTV Youtube Channel. CboysTV listeners get 10% off of your first month at htt...ps://betterhelp.com/wideopen Thanks to Betterhelp for sponsoring this episode! Right now, Life Wide Open listeners can get 15% off their Raycon order at buyracon.com/wideopen. Follow us on Instagram @cboystv and @lifewideopenpodcast To watch the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/LifeWideOpenYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/LifeWideOpenWithCboysTV If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/LifeWideOpenWithCboysTV You can also check out our main YouTube channel CboysTV: https://www.youtube.com/c/CboysTV For merch check out: https://cboystv.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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All right, guys.
Welcome back to the podcast.
We took a little one-week hiatus,
which probably didn't do us too many favors.
because we're trying to stay consistent with it.
So if you guys are watching this,
we just ask that you turn the notification bell on
so you know when we post.
And we're going to try and continue on the schedule
of doing one a week.
It seems like you guys are really liking the pod.
So we appreciate that.
Yeah, this one should be a good one.
We'll get into it.
But we got CJ in the hot seat.
If you guys saw the title and thumbnail,
we're going to base this podcast around the mind of CJ
and everything that is,
which I'm extremely intrigued to see
what we get into because I personally have a lot of questions and um you guys will get a good
backstory on like everything that is today from the root of where it all started so should be
entertaining but how you guys doing doing pretty well you don't look too good yeah I'm good the gallon
of water is that a sign yeah you everyone drinking a gallon of water looks bad obviously
I like to be hydrated normally well pretty much always you're feeling good though you didn't get in you
didn't get into it last night i feel great you didn't answer my i was like i got into it last night
and feel good yeah i did i did get into it last night though but yeah ben hung out with this
girlfriend i went i worked out i worked out last night well you need it and then i do need it
i bro it was in the last video i was like tam i got a gut so then i went and worked out
deleted the gut deleted the gut it's all done one workout i'm good and then i went to bed smart man
good for you right i almost went enjoying you but instead i was like i'm
hungry and then one game of darts turned into a blackout that's what we're trying to get to we can
we don't need to talk about that we'll brush over that we'll brush over that so last time we were sitting
on the podcast we had evan on and things got a little weird some of us are sleep deprived some of us
were hammered and uh we ended it with CJ saying to Evan have fun on your trip if you break the dirt bike
or if you total the dirt bike out, it's fine.
And I think Evan literally took that to heart
because I don't know if that was his mission,
but it seemed like it.
If you guys saw the video,
Evan looped out twice.
He ended up putting the bike up on this hill
and we kind of showcased it,
but like it was seriously one quick little slide
away from like totaling the entire bike out.
You couldn't even stand on the hill.
And it was a rental bike.
Yeah.
Did you guys have insurance?
Yeah.
I would have pushed it down.
The issue is we were with the owner.
Yeah.
So we were with like the owner of the resort.
Yes.
Yes.
He was tripping.
And you know who was tripping even harder?
Evan, dude.
Why?
Well, he was afraid of heights.
He's afraid of heights.
And this was like, I should you not the steepest hill I've ever been on.
And dude, it was so sketchy.
It was so incredibly sketchy.
Evan didn't even like help up on the hill because he was like trying to claw into the dirt
because every time he looked down, he'd get so scared.
Evan, fearless Evan, dude.
I've seen that guy do things that no human should do on a dirt bike.
And he's scared of heights.
I mean, I wasn't there, obviously,
but just, like, knowing how things get, like, portrayed after, like, on camera,
it looks steep on camera,
which is saying how steep it was in real life
because it's always, like, looks so not steep on camera.
It was just steeping, or, like, not steep enough, I guess.
for rocks to still be able to
like hold themselves on the hill
but it had to have been
what 55 degrees
yeah well Ryan was trying to climb up to us
and I we were trying to climb down to the bike
and to Evan and every time you take a step
it would just spit up a bunch of rocks
and hit Ryan down below
whoever was down it was literally terrifying
Evan was like dude this is a rental
like I don't want to destroy it and we're like dude
don't worry about it we'd prefer if you didn't
but like this is such good content
it's so entertaining
and yeah i mean the video turned out as a as a banger you guys will see the other part of it we went to
our friends uh grind hard plumbing co that was fun ethan and edwin basically if you guys aren't
familiar with them they build like the craziest craziest toys like basically anything from
off-road teslas to baby barbie jeeps like the the uh little electric ones they'll put like
450 motors in it and so we showed up we showed up to this uh their place in the middle of
idaho like in the middle of nowhere like we thought we lived in the middle they are out there
yeah seriously out there i don't even think they had like service or wifi well they had wifi
obviously they upload youtube videos but dude seriously middle of nowhere so we show up and it's like
when people come to our shop and we give them a tour like we're just so excited to share you know
like our life with people and like all these toys that we built and and all these things that
we're proud of right and just like share the excitement with people that was them to us and they
had so many cool builds that we were just like literally running around for like three hours
straight and they were like all right and they put ziplines across all these trees right or like
from one tree I was to this just basically to this tree above their house and then they have a few
other zip lines across the creek and we were up on this super steep hill with evan and that
was scary but it was way scary zip lining because i'm like well so what do you do you just they take
out this sketchy like welded bar metal bar that they had with like no grip and it's raining and
it's dark and they're like yep just zip zip across to the to the creek other side and put your
feet up because you hit the tree pretty fast and you man if you fell this this one was attached
to ethan's house so one anchor point was ethan's house and then the other one on the other side of this
massive ravine like at the highest point was probably what 50 feet 40 yeah it was a big drop yeah if
you fell you'd break your legs for sure and um they just like yeah just go across dude just hold on
that's when i think i looked at at uh edwin i was like dude you guys are nuts yeah this is crazy
people look at us like man the things you guys do is so reckless but i was like i feel like i'm that
guy watching you guys right now like you need to be careful yeah so we left there with quite in a
general and rush yeah it was cool that was fun besides for i got me and my good gut i don't know
well you can say basically we when we were ziplining to add to the chaos uh ethan's dog like
tries to attack you doesn't like he doesn't like yeah it was super weird because i have a video
of it but i was like hey biorn can ben zipline because he's like sitting there barking at him
and then ben goes and he literally like jumps and tries to like attack him not like to hurt him
it's a very little dog too it's a bear looking thing yeah bitch you yeah bites me
Drew blood
I was pretty worried
Yeah
That's when I decided
I didn't want to zip like
I was like I'm good
It hurt when you
Yeah
I've never been bitten by like a full size dog
I can't imagine it feels good
Dude because those teeth
Yeah
No it didn't feel good at all
It's like a gnarly bite mark too
It's on your guys this thigh
Obviously I don't know if you can show it on camera
But I didn't really think much of it
Until I got home and my mom was like
You could have rabies
I was like
Is that bad?
She was like you can't get rid of rabies
Like there's like no treatment
or maybe there is, but it's like it sticks with you.
It's like Lyme's disease.
And I was like, oh shit.
I didn't know rabies was an STD, bro.
Like, well, it's obviously not.
You think Lyme's disease is an STD?
No, but like I didn't know you couldn't get rid of it.
I didn't know it was like a- Any disease you can't get rid of is an STD.
Actually?
No.
I didn't know the right term.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, yeah.
I know what you were trying to say.
But yeah, I didn't know that.
Rabies stick with like your whole life, huh?
No treatment.
I don't know.
So I was tweaking a little bit for a couple days there.
but Edwin was like, oh, no, it's got its shots and everything.
You're good.
I was like, all right.
Were they apologetic when the dog bit?
No, Ethan.
Evil laughs like, oh, Bjorn.
I mean, granted, he didn't bite you super hard where you, like, need to go hospital or anything.
But I was more worried about him making Ben fall off.
Yeah, because I was in the middle of, like, or I was at the beginning of the zip line just before, like, the cliff or the drop-off.
so then I get to the other side right
and Bjorn while I was going
he was like I'm hunting this guy down
right so he is trucking
through the ravine and I get to the tree
and I like take my hands off and I'm standing there
and Bjorn just like coming
barreling up this hill and I'm like
shitting my pants I'm just standing there
like ready to honestly I was ready to just punt
this thing because I was like dude he's coming in for seconds
he's coming in to finish the job right
so he comes up like
full speed jumps at me
and then just was like back to being like a playful dog
and I was like oh my god
then you had to hook up to you have to like unhook
yeah oh I was terrified
hook up to the other zip line to zip line back across
yeah I was like oh god here we go again
yeah and then and then Mike went
and he did the same thing to Mike so I was like
at least it's not personal
it was weird though he just
it's only ziplining just the nicest dog
yeah I think we do actually
yeah that's hilarious you got some footage
I don't, yeah.
All right, CJ, how's it feel over there?
Honestly, pretty good.
I might move my spot over here.
This is kind of nice.
I like this side better.
I think I'm going to stay here from now on.
This spot does actually feel pretty nice.
Yeah, I'm going to be sitting there next time.
What do you mean?
What?
I'm just kidding.
You were like, what?
What?
This is the CJ hot seat.
You know, we want to make you feel comfortable.
Ken?
Bring in the drinks.
Oh, yeah.
That's what I was going to say.
Two minutes.
Okay, so I was going to say.
Didn't you prep.
So, CJ, I have never truly seen you, whenever you're drinking a beer mosa, you're in just a chipper mood.
It's, it's like almost comical.
Like, if you have a beer mosa in your head, just beer and OJ, you know?
Yeah.
I'm, I feel like the king of the world right now.
Like, I think I'm just happy because normally if I'm drinking a beer mosa, that means I don't have to do like that much, like, important stuff that day.
So it's like a day off.
Yeah, there's something nice about that.
Starting the day off, just like, man, this is a chill day.
Yeah.
I mean, I always have something I need to do,
but, like, it's something that it's not necessarily super important.
I honestly, I wasn't planning on drinking for this.
Too bad.
I mean, I guess I'll have one, but I'm just saying, I don't know.
I just want to be on my A game.
If you don't want to, we don't have to.
No, I still will.
Well, what the fuck?
Why is this such a big deal?
What's going on?
We didn't mean for it to be a big deal.
You're the guy who loves beer motions.
I know, but, like, what's this thing?
Like, Ken had to leave the other room.
Man, bro, C.J. isn't even in this hot seat yet.
He's already nervous.
We haven't even done anything.
He's going to, like, come out with a paintball gun or something.
I don't know.
That would be great.
Can you imagine?
Yeah.
If 10 shooting, I would need, like, eye protection.
I would need to get that.
Honestly, tint and mark over, they would have to be ready because who knows where those things are going.
It might hold the gun wrong.
I don't know.
I actually don't know why he went in you.
Yeah, I'm a little curious myself.
It's just a big buildup for a beer mosa.
That's all.
Yeah.
We were supposed to be like, Ken, bring in the drinks.
And then he'll bring in the drinks.
You love beer mouses.
I do love beer moses.
Thank you, Ken.
You're kind of supposed to have them prepped here.
What the fuck have you been doing back then?
I give Ken just one instruction.
Can you just prep some beermosas for us?
That is true, though.
I do like beermosis.
CJ's getting excited thinking about it.
The anticipation is building up.
I've turned a lot of people on to it.
You really have, I'm not going to lie.
Yo, okay, so you're the last seaboy to be in the hot seat.
Is it feeling hot?
Yeah.
Pretty hot.
Yeah, it feels good.
I feel like everybody else has gotten off pretty easy.
Yeah, so that's what I was going to say is, is everyone got off
pretty easy, not too grilled, you know, going into it.
It's like, well, shit, I'm going to have the other guys just, like,
hitting me with the hard truths, you know?
I think, no offense to you guys, maybe this is more of a hit it myself,
but I feel like there's way more things to go in on me than anyone else.
She said it, not me.
Yeah, like, I obviously have way more.
I don't know.
Thank you, sir.
I feel like I've had a lot more, like, I don't know how I should say it.
See what I'm saying?
I knew there was something to this.
You didn't want one.
It's going to be like a big-ass fucking thing.
I'm not dumb.
No, I, I mean, I somewhat agree.
Yeah, I don't know.
I just feel like I have a lot more weird things about me
than actually I have significantly more weird things about me than you guys.
Maybe Mike is the next closest.
We'll just start then.
We'll just start.
And, I think it's kind of weird too, but it's like, wow.
I think we're all pretty weird.
Thank you.
But I think we, as far as, like, opinions.
Years differ from ours a little more.
Yeah, no, no, no.
That's why I said, like, I'm excited to, like, dive in.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's probably a good way to put it, but let me just start with this.
All right, for somebody who has such a strong gut, you know, you, once you have an opinion on something, you stick to it.
Most time.
most of the time right and it's it's one of your strongest qualities i would say you know you can
always like i don't really question if you got a bad feeling on it i usually go with it you know i
trust your gut too why is it that one of the most uh strong-minded purse people i know
you can't even decide what you're going to eat when we go out to dinner you you switch up on
like the waitress like four times before you finally order like you are so indecisive like what
about certain things where does this
fine line drawn in the sand of like you yeah but you you don't overthink on certain things
like you know spending a bunch of money on this house that you guys might see soon right
it was like a very easy decision right but then going out to dinner it's like you give this dude
an extra 20 minutes just to figure out what he's going to order there's a lot of choices
yeah but what do you think what do you mean what do i think like what why do you do that uh i want to
make the right choice because if you ever ordered something and uh fucking you get it and you're like
god damn it why didn't i get this that happens to me all the time but i think you're right it maybe
it does come down to overthinking then because yeah but i do it has buyers remorse more often than
anyone i i know as well i do yeah but why do you have buyers remorse on certain things but not
not on others like where is like well most people are just like no they just stick to it but it's
like you're so black or you're so white um i don't know i guess the only time i have buyers remorse is
when I don't like something that I buy.
Like, what's something I have buyers or mores on?
I'm pretty smart, I think.
Most of the things I, I like to think I make a lot of good decisions.
But you definitely, like, think a lot.
Like, how about, like, for example, for your wheels.
You looked, you looked, you looked.
You ended up getting almost the same wheels.
I, like, looked, but honestly, honestly, I didn't spend that much time looking.
It's when I don't think about what I do.
That's why I make sure I think and, like, make the right choice.
because I didn't think that deeply on my wheels.
Honestly, I was looking GTR wheels and, like,
I'm not trying to break, but I feel like I'm a pretty busy guy.
I have to do things quick.
I didn't want to spend...
I don't think that's a flex.
I didn't want to spend fucking two weeks or a month browsing around the internet,
like, oh, what wheels should I get?
And then you have to see if you can get them in the right size.
Because Fitman is almost more...
It's as important as having a good looking wheel.
if you have the coolest looking wheel but it doesn't like fit flush with the car when it's like lowered
it's not going to look good right so i fucking uh typed in nissan gtr like i'm looking all these wheels
and i saw this video of those exact wheels on my car yep so then i went to fitman industries
and i was trying to fucking find them well actually there was a couple of them but fitment
industries doesn't carry like super super super expensive wheels right yep so
So these were like the only ones.
They actually didn't even carry those ones in the size that I needed,
but I was able to like use our fitment industry points and talk to Vossin.
And I had to have them custom made.
And the reason why I did those wheels is because they were like,
these wheels fit and this is the spec sizes we use with these springs for this fitment.
So it just made it easy.
And that's why I got those wheels.
But yes, I didn't think that much about them.
and that's why I immediately had like the remorse.
I was like, fuck, why don't I get a different color?
Because I literally made the decision like this.
That is the hard part about the busier you get,
the faster you have to make decisions.
So to answer your question,
the reason why I overthink things is because when I don't think about it,
then I regret him.
That was a...
So there you go.
That was actually a very long explanation, but well...
Well, worded.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I guess I had some evidence to back there
But yeah, that's why I overthink things.
I try not to overthink things, but I just, I'm always thinking.
Do you think there is something to be said about people that don't overthink or don't think into things enough that it's just like not as effective?
Like, where do you think?
So like obviously, if you've thought about this for a long time, I think things, it's, you know, like, you're just good and bad.
It's good and bad, right?
But if you underthink things, then it's good and bad.
So I actually have a theory on this because I,
I came up with this theory, you know, five years ago, actually, maybe six.
So it's like if you don't think about things, it seems like you're really happy in the present
and you're just doing whatever, but it always does come around to bite you eventually.
But do you think that the people that don't think about things also when it does come around
to bite them, they don't think about it biting them where they're just like,
I think once the biggest, once something to a certain scale happens, then they think about it.
It makes you reflect.
Yeah.
No, I think you'll be happier in the present, but long term, it doesn't help you as well.
Interesting.
It's like the kids in high school that just fucking, we're out, like, smoking weed during, like, and just, like, during school, like, on break and shit.
Like, they're fucking happy or they're not doing their homework or they're not doing the things they're supposed to be doing.
You're, of course, you're less stressed.
You don't give a fuck about grades.
They're less stressed.
They're having a great time.
But it always comes.
There's always a price to pay.
there is yeah and that comes back around later when they fucking can't get into college or
i mean college doesn't really matter but they're just fucking dumb and now they they're
out of disadvantage in life that's very true so yeah so if you're thinking a lot you'll be
happy you're not necessarily at peak happiness in the present time but in the long run
you're gonna be yeah you're gonna be way happy i think yeah you're thought you know because
your your processes is thought out i think you could get lucky though and just like
not have any repercussions and it's like gambling basically i i think it's it's your
environment that you're surrounded by it's like well if you think a lot then other people in the
group don't necessarily have to think a lot about certain things and they can you know yeah you can
get carried time and get carried but it's like you know there's if everyone in the group thought
a lot it i don't know if that would yeah it wouldn't be good help us more you know because it's like
anything that's successful has to have a balance, right?
Right.
And it's like if our group as a whole dynamic is going to be successful,
well, it can't all have like the same personality trait
or, you know, everyone being the same, right?
So I think it is, it is good to have the balance of you thinking a lot
and Micah not thinking at all.
No offense, Mike's.
Yeah.
But I'm just using you as.
Yeah, I guess I do.
I mean, I do overthink things.
Like when we do the merch fucking presentation,
and we decide what we want to keep
what we don't want to think
I like look into everything so deep
I'm always like how is this going to look to that person
like what does this resonate with them
like I'm always just and I do that a lot with like thumbnails
I also do that a lot with like editing
because like we might mean something totally different
but then when you watch it
if you put yourself in the shoes of someone viewing it
and they've never even this is the first video they've ever watched
it's like how does this look to them
you know I think about that too
but also
I am terrible at thinking about how I act probably a lot of the time, like just normal.
I feel like I'd probably make bad impressions out the gate.
I feel like you're hard on yourself for that.
Like you definitely self-reflect a lot about how you not only like portray yourself, but how you act.
I do.
Yeah.
Like I'll like go home.
I'll be like, like, I'll like come home from eating and like I'll be asking Alex.
Like when I said this like, was.
that bad like i don't know i just that's what i'm saying like you're so sure of certain moves and then
you're like in your head thinking about it and it's like it what's done is done like what is
yeah then i then i just tell me it's like fuck it can't change it now but but yeah i guess
if i have the like the time i want to make sure it's the right choice yeah but also you have
to make the decision you can't spend all fucking day thinking about it i mean you can each word
depends back to a little bit what you're going to say earlier when you were like you're
thinking about in thumbnails and videos and stuff like that how other people like see it i feel like
you always ever since i first met you you've had like your finger on the pulse of like what a large
group of people like seeing yeah what people want to see and how they want to see it and like what's
going to happen like i've always given you really good or tried to give you good uh credit for that and
like yeah cj understands like what people want yeah like extreme foresight i think yeah i i
I guess I did, I will agree with that, especially when we were young, because, like,
when we started hanging out, let's say, like, really, really hanging out, like,
eighth, ninth grade, you went to, like, your small private school.
You were, you were relatively sheltered, and you lived out here.
And I had been going to, like, a public school in Fargo where, like,
you're just exposed to fucking pretty much everything, you know, like, there's a lot of stuff
going on there.
And I just, I don't know, I just had seen a lot of shit, been around a lot of shit at the time,
more than you.
dude when we first started hanging out
I looked at you as like a god
what the hell happened
I got to know you
I realized you
I like based my entire young adult life
like CJ would do something like CJ is the coolest kid I know
like I got to be more like CJ
I was just advanced over you you were
I just had
CJ been up in the streets you know
yeah not that but like I don't know
I just like fucking no I remember one time you came you picked me up in the boat and you're like yeah let's go surfing and you came and you drove over like in your in your boat and I was like damn cj gets to drive the boat and you had like a girl with you like one of our friends that lived on lake and I was like holy shit there's a girl on the boat like he knows how to talk to a girl you can hang out with it really wasn't too hard to be advanced over you at the time no dude I was like a child I was like damn c j's the cool guy I had it going on
back then i mean i'd still have it going on now but if i i didn't like carry that same trajectory
yeah i was gonna ask do you i don't want to say do you think you peaked but do you think that you
capitalized i definitely didn't peak but no no no no no but do you think you capitalized on your
like high school experience like do you think you like maximized the amount of fun that you could
add i had a great time if i was a maniac if i think of someone who who just
like you did all the things that you could do in high school i was pretty lucky in high school because
like i i i was like a cool kid i was like popular for some reason all the girls like me i'm not trying to
like toot my own horn but this is just how it was dude it was never closed the yearbook i don't
i don't talk about high school all you know i'm kidding but then on the on the vice versa
fucking had a terrible college experience like had a terrible like two three years after high school
so i mean look at that it's interesting to hear that you know you'll get a lot of people that are like
oh yeah the cool kids will roll into college and they're just a nobody but it's not like
but i'm saying it's not like you were necessarily upset about that either you're in college yeah
you weren't like i don't i guess i would yeah i mean that was a that was like a result of like
something else which we'll get into later but uh no speaking of like close the yearbook dude i never
never fucking look back on high school or anything for that matter i don't scroll back and look
at my pictures i don't have time hop i don't like being reminded
of things because it's all just pointless like i don't care about that shit it already happened
it's how to move move on you got to look forward like like like a lot of people like fucking
like go back and like look at their pictures and like old videos on their phone from like
fucking just some right i do that for like entertainment yeah see i don't do that at all because
i don't i don't care like i mean i used to all time but like i don't want to like look at that
and be like oh like that was like so fun like i wish it was like that then but like it's done
you got to move on dude doesn't matter
also I think a big part of that is being that so like I don't take pictures on my phone ever because I know I'm not going to look at them I don't take like videos and the only time I'm interesting take the only time I take taking so true the only time I take pictures or videos is for like posting yeah so yeah but I think that also is maybe like I realized that probably three four years ago and I started doing that but yeah but yeah.
Yeah, I just don't give a fuck, like, about looking back on the past.
Unless you're, like, reflecting to learn something, there's really no point.
You ever watch our old videos?
No.
I don't either.
I mean, I really don't either.
When someone looks back or when they were like summer of 16, we're never going to top that.
I hate that energy.
That's a terrible mindset.
Exactly.
Or like when they're like, oh, we're peaking right now.
Like, why would you say that?
Like, when people go like, oh, man, like, this is the, like, it's all downhill for me.
Like, why would, you know, like, peak, when people refer to, like, we're peaking, it's like, you're at the top of the mountain.
Now it's like, I don't think anyone actually, like, says that.
I remember in high school, like, I remember in high school, like, I played hockey and, like, a lot of, like, the guys would be like, oh, we're, like, peaking right now.
Like, this is the peak at the night.
Like, you know, like, this is the peak, like, senior year.
Like, I don't fucking know.
I never, I didn't like that.
Can you imagine going back, like, looking at yourself back in, like, looking at yourself back in,
senior year of high school and being like man yeah enjoy it now because it's all downhill from here
like how depressing for most people that'd be very depressing yeah how young you are yeah in high school
and then just like dude i don't even remember i barely remember senior year of high school and
like i can't imagine it being like the peak i literally have to like dig deep to like remember
some of these things because a lot of things i just pretty much erase in my mind
Like memories like that
Well I mean
The thing about
Especially about us is we are
Especially when we're trying to produce like two videos a week
We don't have time
To look back
Like I
Dude I have to think like what did we even do the video before the one we posted
I do reflect
We were talking about do I watch old videos
I always watch the latest video
Like I'll watch it like two three times
Oh yeah maybe four
And like I watch it just to like see
How did it turn out
like should I have changed this like I reflect and then I move forward like when we went
reckless golfing I went and watched the old reckless golfing yeah just because I was curious like
what what we all do like how did it look like just so I was prepared but no I don't watch like
old ones yeah I just wanted to correct that and you watch it on like different screens like
you'll watch on your phone and then you'll watch it on the computer and then you watch on the
because I want to hear all the audio sounds yeah on every different type of device and like
experience of it because if you watch it on TV normally a subwoofer like kind of overrides
during like certain songs it'll override the voice but if you watch on like a phone it'll sound
like perfect and then i also listen to it with headphones on but i do that normally like during
editing i'll do like computer speakers and then i also do headphones yeah all right guys breaking the
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Now, back to the podcast.
Going back to, like, you overthinking things, like, that's one of the benefits.
It's probably a form of, like, OCD for sure.
Overthinking it, but I mean, it's like, yeah, if you pay attention to the fine details
of it, or you're, like, you know, constantly being your biggest critic in a way of,
of reflecting versus reflecting on, like, the good times versus how could I make those times
better to better yourself.
Yeah, you're like, you have, like, subconscious quality control.
Like, you don't think necessarily about doing it.
You're just doing it.
Yeah.
It's like certain things, though, because other things I'm, like, very, I don't, like,
I have to care about it, obviously.
But, yeah.
All right.
So basically the reason we're sitting here.
today and everything that's been created in the past six years is due to the effect of like one of the
worst things that's ever happened to you yeah i think it makes sense to just like completely dive into
you know what happened that uh you know basically changed your life completely and has led us here
today but like the lowest point of your entire life like start start from the very beginning of
of like the very first time that that you had like a brain injury um well fuck dude i literally
if people think i was reckless like reckless uh like on videos which i'm really not i'm probably
like the most tame just because i try to be careful uh like protect my head but uh like dude
when i was a little kid like i was always just like riding dirt bikes like i was probably i was
pretty crazy like i would normally be the one to like hit the jump first or like i was in skateboarding
and obviously i played like hockey and football and stuff um i've had so many concussions it's like terrible
like i don't even know how many um and i remember like getting them back when i was a kid uh i would
i would like get them and like they weren't like as knowing or like prominent back then like you
didn't know like the effects and like obviously my parents didn't either and like just like
back and playing or like just going on with like my day like I remember one time I got like hit
in hockey super bad it was in like eighth grade I got like I don't know if I got knocked out I can't
remember but anyways uh if we had the school dance like that night after the game it's like a game
and then there's like school dance and like I remember feeling like shit but I didn't want to miss
school dance and like I just like sucked it up and like I was like telling my parents but like
it was such like no one thought anything of concussions maybe we just didn't know
but at least there where we're like,
oh,
just suck it up and go to, like, the dance.
I would never tell someone with a concussion now
to go to a fucking dance with disco balls
and lights flashing around and loud music.
That'd be the worst, dumbest thing you can do.
I've had so many.
But none of them were, like,
I'd say, like, bad.
Like, it would last maybe, like, a day or two.
And you just were fine.
The one that actually, like, really changed my life.
It was senior year.
And we were playing, it was, like, the very first, like,
exhibition game of like the year and uh i don't know what i got like a bad pass and this kid like
just hit me i don't know what the fuck he was doing but he hit me and like uh like full speed
and i flew back but there was like a gap between me and like the wall of the boards and it was
like a really hard wall like some boards and hockey rins like they have a little bit of give to
them but this one was like i don't know why it was fucking rock hard um and i just fucking flew back
and it was like the perfect distance where like i went and hit like the back of my head on the
board and like i like fucking lawn chaired i guess people said like it was terrible um it was really nasty
like what i remember of it is like i was laying on the ice and like i literally heard like it
sounded like a dial-up internet noise dude that's like the sound i was like hearing and then um
like I couldn't like my whole body like it was like a wave was like it felt like I literally
just decreased so much like slowed down I like couldn't like move like my legs or like my
like anything for like a second or two I don't know exactly how long and then like this one dude was
trying to help me like get back up and I was like trying but I fucking couldn't was falling over
the damn place and then like eventually I got up and like went and like got to the bench also
the team we were playing was like Sartel.
So if anyone fucking knows who the guy is,
Sartel, honestly, like, I'm not mad.
It ended up working out great for me.
But Sartel, 2015, wait, it would have been 2014.
It was in November, and it happened in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota.
It was an exhibition game against Davies hockey.
Some fucking big-ass kid hit me,
and I flew in the, hit my head on the boards,
fucked me up, still fucking have problems with it from today.
to today but i'm not curious who that guy is anyways um yeah so that happened and like it like really
really fucked me up um i was like out for i don't know like weeks obviously but like after like a certain
amount of weeks this still was like at a time when like concussions weren't publicly knowing that
they're really bad like it was just on like the cusp i feel like of it like kind of becoming very knowing
anyways so like like a week or two went by and like you know how it is like everyone's like oh
you got that concussion like you know whatever like it didn't take it very seriously I sucked
after I came back from it but at the time I was probably one of the better players on the team
so like everyone wanted me to come back and like it was like I was like being pressured by like
certain players on the team like like to come back and like some people would like call me a pussy
and shit like that and like
I don't know it was just like
it was just a lot
and I didn't feel good though
so like my head hurt
like when I touch it like my skull
it literally fucking would hurt
like I couldn't rest my head
on the back of like a car
like if I was riding in a car
I couldn't have my head like leaning on the car seat
when we're driving because that would fucking hurt
like it just hurt
and like I was super dizzy
I couldn't like see straight
um just nauseous shit like that i'm like trying to gather my thoughts and like put this in a straight
line because i literally like tried to like pretty much erase it like i don't like thinking about
it all what were you doing in those weeks after the concussion like i was doing what they were
telling me to do but what were you like i was just nervous like i wanted to get back because it was
like i had worked so hard and i was like finally like the first line like starter like of the team
and I was, like, going to do good.
Like, I wanted to do good.
At the time, like, it always seems like in high school that that was, like, the most
important thing, like, you know, playing hockey or whatever.
Right.
After the concussion, though, like, besides for it hurting on the back, did you have any other symptoms?
Yeah, it constantly hurt.
I was, like, dizzy.
It just didn't feel right.
I did not feel right.
That's all I really remember is I really did not feel right.
And I would, like, tell the athletic trainer, like, I don't feel right, you know.
and he would he was like the only person that was like like actually on my side I felt like like he was
like I don't even remember his name I think his name was Scott he's he's a man anyways he like he like was
like well then don't you're not ready like he wouldn't even bother like run tests he's like I'd come
and I'd say like I don't like feel right he'd ask me how I feel today I'd have to do it every day
and I was like I don't know something's wrong like I don't feel right anyways like I don't know
how long went by like three weeks maybe a month and then uh it was like so bad like i just remember
like people fucking like really pressuring me to like come back if i could go back in time i would
have just literally quit the team right there and just like stayed away from everyone like that would
have been the smart thing to do but you you know that's i think that's an interesting take is like
in your case you're you're very good and you you felt pressure on yourself to want to go back and
your teammates and coach i'm sure we're like i hope he gets back i don't really want to say
the coaches okay well the teammates they didn't do that i'm just saying like let's say you have a dad
and it wasn't all teammates just like a few kids and honestly like i don't hold any grudges against them
because like they were just dumb fucking high school kids anyways it could happen like a lot you know
you get an injury and you have like a dad who like undermines the injury and it's like i want you
to keep playing soon um but yeah so like yeah i just felt like i didn't feel right but after like a certain
amount of time uh i was like kind of like getting mad at myself because i was like god like what is
wrong like why am i being a pussy because i was i'd like to say i was pretty tough um and uh
like i remember like my dad was just like i think you just need to like get back and like get playing
because i think a lot maybe he was thinking like that i was just overthinking it like i do and uh
once i got going i'd be okay so anyways like i had to go through all these tests or whatever you know
just normal concussion protocol but I remember like this is not right like when I'd like ride the
bike or run like it didn't feel right anyways I came back too soon fucking played the rest of the
year and like I remember like I'd get like hit and I'd get very like rattled easily like like like
like I would get dizzy or but I'd normally bounce back relatively quick um but my head hurt
and I always have headaches um and then so I graduate high school
and we're out, you know, doing the things we normally would do, like wakeboarding.
Ben and I were, like, really good at wakeboarding.
I don't want to say really good, but we were, like, pretty good.
Like, we'd do flips.
We would get big air.
Like, we were good.
Anyways, I was trying, like, a new trick, and I don't know, I just crashed.
And when you crashed wakeboarding, although it is in water, you're going, like, 21.3 was the speed that we always went at.
21.3 miles an hour
And if you're like fucking 10 feet in the air
Going that fast and you land
And your board catches its edge
It slams you so hard that the water is like
Like fucking cement
It's why no one wakeboards anymore
But fucking did that
Hit my head
And like I was just not right
Back of your head
Came down
Oh, boom yeah
I didn't know that
Yeah and then
Same place you got your other man
Yeah
It was like the same spot
Yeah
So then I was like
God
So I just thought I had
When that happened you knew it was bad news
I just thought I had another concussion
And I had been through so many
And also at the time I was thinking to myself
Like that wasn't as hard as the hit
Like the way that I thought of concussions
Was like the harder you got hit
The probably the worst the concussion would be
But that's not true at all
You could get fucking
You know something light
And still have one that's worse than the other
You know they're all different
So
But
For people that don't know
exactly what a concussion, like how to cause a concussion, to my understanding, it's basically
it's your brain rattling in your skull. Right. So do you think that there's like certain things
that keep your brain from moving that? And then the more than you got hit, it was just like,
it was looser in there? No. No. How does that work? The thing is like the more you have, I think the
easier it is to get them. And like, especially in my case, I never fully recovered from the one that was really
bad due to coming back so early um and who knows if i ever would recover from that but but i uh
never fully recovered so it was just like weak and i was already like injured and then i fucking
did something that injured it worse it was something that was already bad and i hit it again
and made it really bad yeah um so that i thought i didn't think anything of it though at the time
i was like i'll you know wait take it easy for like a week or two at the time i was like i don't
have any like sports or anything i need to do i just don't go wakeboarding or
dirt biking shit like that crazy for a little bit but it just never fucking went away and it was like
two weeks three weeks four weeks two months three months now college is coming up i got to go and
go to my dorm i feel like shit like i felt terrible uh i should mention that the i had like nausea
and i felt like i was moving all the time and uh i had like after like i had really bad like anxiety
and like I was very depressed but the depression I think came more so on it got worse the longer it
went by because like at first I just you know you had hope but like it kind of seemed like I was like
losing hope the longer it went and the sadder I would get and I couldn't do anything like I
couldn't work out because I'd get super nauseous to the point where like I would literally have to
just lay on the floor and like look at the ceiling and like you just constantly it's like being on a boat
I don't know what it felt like.
And like I'd, and like my eyes would go like this.
It felt like, so when I'd close, I'd still feel like that.
I'm like, I'm trying to, like, do anything for, like, treatment at the time?
No, I mean, I didn't really know there was anything to do about it.
So, like, I just wasn't drinking.
I wasn't, like, working out.
Because back then they thought, like, working out was really bad if you had a concussion.
Like, you weren't supposed to have blood flow, which I nowadays personally feel the opposite
towards we can get into that later i'm sorry this is so all over but i'm just trying to
no no no it's good i'm trying to like uh gather my thoughts i guess um it was a big part and it was a
long part of your life so to like sum up all of those events yeah i like really done a good job
of like fucking erasing it from my memory because it was such a terrible time but anyways so i go
to college i couldn't do anything at college because i felt like i was moving felt like i was
to throw up all the time and i just couldn't do anything i couldn't watch tv because i would make
it worse i couldn't go on my phone because i would make it worse so like i would do pretty much nothing
i'd maybe like talk with friends when they weren't doing anything like i'd try to like hang with them
and talk um but and then on top of that we were like trying this weird thing with my diet where
like i wouldn't eat gluten because they were thinking like well maybe like you have a gluten
allergy so like that might help or like and then erase sugar and like milk so i couldn't even eat
good food at the time and that's probably like one of like the biggest moments in my like one of my
favorite things to do is fucking eat yeah i just love eating basically i just go through the whole
college year feeling like shit sleeping this little shitty-ass dorm not able to do anything and like i
didn't make any new friends because i couldn't do anything i obviously had ryan which was great
but this goes i was busy you were busy ryan was very popular in college
Isn't that funny how things work?
I was the fucking, like, star in high school, college, fucking shit.
There's always a price to pay, man.
There's positives and negatives.
It was my time to get a negative.
You fucking maybe had not a great high school, but then college was great.
You know, there's always a balance with everything.
Like, Ryan was great, dude.
Thank God I had Ryan because, like, I would hang out with him as much as we could.
We'd go eat.
Same with Justin.
Justin was great.
And there was, like, a few other guys that were really nice.
But, like, I mean, we didn't do anything much other than just maybe a chill.
But, yeah, I was just super, super depressed, super sad.
Couldn't do anything.
I was basically, like, I mean, I just couldn't do anything.
Like, I was disabled, literally.
Because if I tried to do anything, I would fucking get, like, really disabled.
Like, it would, like, stir me up so much that I'd have to, like, literally fucking,
lay on my floor for like two days to like get it to settle down could you sleep not really because
if i would sleep it was like i'd like lay on my side and like fucking it just feel like you're falling
and then like if you like so like you try not to like move too much because once you like somewhat
got settled it would be a little easier um yeah i don't know it was just it was terrible man uh so
Like, during that time, though, I was so sad.
And I was planning on going to school to become a chiropractor.
But it felt like, to me at the time, every time I got an adjustment, like, if it would, like, make me feel worse, which, like, they kind of later realized, like, since I felt like I was moving so much, this is probably too technical.
but like my muscles in my neck were super stiff to try to like stabilize my head because
my brain was like telling me that it was moving it was like so super stiff and when you'd get
an adjustment they would like basically loosen that up which because normally you wouldn't
want that um and it would make me feel worse so I'd want to I wanted to be a chiropractor I was
going to school to be a chiropractor um and I was like well how am I going to be a chiropractor
if I literally came and get an adjustment and that's when I was like fuck
like I was kind of thinking like I think I might be like this like I'm going to try but like this might be how it's going to be forever and like that's when you really start to like you know yeah and when you lose hope that's that's like the worst and that's when I was like there's not really any point in me going to school because like I don't know I at that point in my life I kind of thought like I'll just be kind of like a person that just tries to get it.
buy maybe you know like i just work at like i remember i was going to just get a like a job at like
this shoe place in the mall um because like i couldn't really do anything uh so that's like i dropped
out of college and i was going to do that but i remember being so nervous about working there because
i'd have to bend down to like pick up the shoes and like when i'd like bend down like and like moving
my head i'd get super dizzy but i remember i had to get a job so i was like fuck like i guess i'll
just suck it up. I don't know. I was kind of just thinking I was just grind it out for as long as I
could. But I ended up getting a job at this gym, which was great. Do you remember back then feeling
like you couldn't talk about it? Yeah, I really couldn't because no one understood. No one
understood. But then I actually found a neurological doctor. Her name is Ayla Smith, Dr. Ayla
She's a place in Fargo now.
I'm going to backtrack, actually.
So I'm in college, and I fucking feel like shit.
I can't do anything.
I'm very depressed.
I'm very sad.
I kind of come to a realization I'm not going to be able to be a chiropractor,
so I stopped going to school.
I'm also thinking at the time, like,
um,
uh,
I'm also thinking at the time that, like,
realistically, like, I'm probably not going to, like,
just keep living this way forever because, like, I was just miserable.
And there's not really any point.
So, like, I'm not going to waste time and money at college.
During that time, then, my dad, like, found this neurochiropractor.
She's, like, more of, I'd say, like, it's like a neurologist.
And they had this thing called functional neurology,
which is, like, a program for people like me that had, like, really bad brain trauma.
And they would, like, uh, they'd, like, retrain your eyes.
And, uh, you'd do, like, all these, like, exercises and stuff where you'd, uh, just fucking, like, do therapy to try and, like, get you back to doing things.
And, uh...
Deep breath.
Yeah, bro, you're good.
Just...
it's really hard to talk about because uh like i was saying earlier i just have really like
talking this part out of like my memory yeah it's just a really hard time um
It's one second here
Will I cut?
Oh, okay
I'm such a cry
So anyways
Like I fucking do these
Therapy protocol things
Exercises
To like try and retrain my eyes and brain
And listen to this lady
Like I'm fucking doing them
Like my life depended on it
Which kind of dead
To try and like get myself
to be able to like go back into society and like do things i just want to be able to do things like
just a few things you know like i really wanted to work out because i loved working out but i
couldn't work out because every time i'd work out it'd make me worse um feel worse uh so anyways like
i followed like her instructions did that for like a couple months or so and i started like getting
a little better and it was like so nice for me because it gave me like some hope um and she was like
I want you to try and start, like, exercising again, but we have to, like, do it slow.
So, like, I would ride this stationary bike, and, like, I remember, like, I'd start out.
Like, I literally could only ride on it for, like, fucking one minute because then it would, like, make me worse.
So, like, I would ride on it for a minute and then I'd have to take a couple days off.
And then, like, I basically just slowly built it back up.
And then pretty soon I was able to, like, ride on it for 25 minutes after a really long time of slowly building your blocks up, you know, to get better.
um it's like anything recovering from you know any kind of injury uh and uh yeah then i was
able to start lifting again and at that time i had just started working at a gym it was in fargo
courts plus like that place was great like everyone who worked there was so nice to me the employees
were awesome one of my best friends logan cassette he worked with me there um and uh yeah
I know, just kind of like, I started getting better and, like, able to do stuff again.
I still didn't feel great, but, uh, that was right around the time, like, at that time in life,
I, uh, had, it was kind of nice for me because I think it really added, uh, a lot of, like,
just clarity, I guess as to, like, what's important in life. Um, so, like, I was just doing the things
that I really wanted to do and, like, cutting out any of, like, the shit that I didn't care for.
Um, so I, I really wanted to be a YouTuber because I always watch YouTube growing up.
And I just thought it was crazy that, like, people were just doing whatever they wanted to do and getting paid for it.
Um, and it seemed like they were getting paid, like, pretty well.
I didn't really even care much about that.
I think I just, like, the idea of, like, making a video and, like, having it.
And, uh, I just thought it'd be cool.
So, uh, being at that time, like, I was just doing the things, like, I was just doing the things,
like i didn't care i was basically living like very in the present i was just like fuck it like
i'll just spend all my money and buy this camera and just start trying to do it um so i did that
got the camera obviously and fucking mike had just mike would always make like little edits
uh so like he had just made an edit and i remember he posts on facebook and i was like yo like
i was thinking about making a youtube channel would you want to post that on there and then like
we can both own it together it'll just be our youtube channel we'll just post videos on there
and he was like yeah and uh i was like all right well i'll come up with a name and make it and
whatnot and then you can upload on it so like the very first video was technically like a facebook
like summer recap that you made and it we put it on our youtube channel um and then uh obviously
then i started trying to figure out how to use the camera
and just practicing with it.
I'd, like, bring it around whenever we were hanging out
and doing anything, I'd just film it.
And I got familiar with it and kind of learned how to use it.
And I'd go home and I'd, like, dink with the footage
and, like, learn how to chop it up and stuff.
Shout out to my friend Jason, Gilbert.
He, like, taught me the basics on, like,
this is how you cut, this how you drag in.
But, like, the rest I did.
But, yeah, shout out of Jason.
So, like, I was just working, like, a part-time job, basically.
and I'd go home, you guys were all in school,
and I would, like, mess with the footage
and learn how to, like, edit, basically.
I taught myself how to edit.
It was really tough at the time
because I couldn't stare at a computer really long
because it would make me...
Like, if after a certain amount of time, I'd get really dizzy,
it kind of, like, fuck me up.
So it made editing really hard.
I'd have to, like, edit for, like, an hour,
and I'd have to take, like, an hour break or two.
I'd maybe get, like, another hour in.
Yeah, so I learned how to edit.
basically that's like the Star of Sea Boys TV um was that the first thing that you could do
without having to physically do something you almost used us as like the outlet yeah like it was like
a way that I got integrated back into like the activities you guys are doing because you guys uh
I was still like I was just kind of reintegrating back into like activities back in my life
obviously um but yeah the idea was like the crazier stuff I'll just film
and like kind of be a part of it it was nice because like the thing that like youtube and like the
idea of like trying to make this work it gave me such like uh it like really saved me in the fact that
like it gave me something to do and something like i was excited about you know like i like really
wanted to do it because at the time i didn't have much i could look forward to to even you know
it gave you like a purpose i should say i think that's like the biggest thing is just having like
a purpose a reason to like you know get up and like try to do something or whatever and uh so like
that was what youtube was for to me um and then obviously we just slowly started kind of blowing up
and uh i think it was like three videos so technically it was me and mica it was like our channel
initially out the gate but then after like the video started like blown up and it was like
very apparent that obviously this is a group thing because it's like you know everyone's involved
uh that it would be our channel and that's when like obviously ken we just started making money
so ken made the LLC with all of our names on it and uh yeah do you so back to like the concussion
um side of it where would you say you are now i'm much better than where i was like i'm like way better
obviously but like the reason why I oftentimes don't go like on these crazy dirt biking trips
and stuff is because it is easier for me to get like rattled like and get like a concussion
again and I just don't really it's not enjoyable for me if it's something that obviously it's like
high risk I'd rather I don't think it's like any point yeah I'd rather not risk it not worth it
what's the point jeopardizing like your lively yeah not even just like an injury yeah a couple
It's not as enjoyable for me either when I'm going because I'm like, fuck.
I'm trying to be careful.
Yeah.
But do you live your life and fear that, you know, like the smallest thing could put
you back into that state?
I would, I mean, I wouldn't say that, but I just, I'm just cautious, I guess.
And, like, the real reason is, like, also if I went, like, since I wouldn't be doing, like,
the fucking, let's say, like, crazier things.
I would end up just filming it.
And it's like, if I'm not really contributing, then I'll just stay back.
And I can do more here.
That's why I don't go to like the crazy snowmobile trips and stuff like that either.
Yeah.
I mean, that makes sense.
But yeah, it is easier for me to get a concussion than, I mean, obviously other people.
I remember one time we just filmed the like demo derby.
Right.
And we were like driving around the field.
Right.
field is like a bumpy mess and you had hopped in the car and like we're all as we realize
the like seriousness of like concussions in general but also my situation yeah we're like okay we got
to be conscientious of like you know like I wouldn't yeah you guys are very careful and like a bomb
yeah yeah ditch unexpectedly because I'm like okay if you're gonna like you know there's risk right
there's risk with everybody but like you say your risk is higher but I remember one time
we were driving in the car and I was really driving you over to go film something and we hit this clump of dirt that if we've been going 20 yeah if we'd been going 20 miles an hour we probably skipped right over it but we were going slow and literally just boom and I remember dude like I was sitting weird and I remember my head hit the windshield um and yeah then obviously yeah and I remember like shook me up yeah it shook you up and like I remember my blood ran cold and I like didn't know what to do right
that stuff happens all the time with me like um like i mean fucking i fell on like the pit by even if i don't
hit my head like it'll like sometimes it kind of stir me up for like a day or two and i don't know
what it is i really don't i've like tried talking with my the lady that like basically fixed me
about it and she doesn't really know either she just says you know i don't know if it's like
fucking PTSD or what the fuck it is but it like can like make me feel out of it for a little bit
But when I crashed a smart car into the log, even though I didn't hit my head, it was still, like, such a joke that, like, it fucked me up for, like, I don't know, like a week.
I wasn't, like, fucked up, like, how I was, though.
Like, it's just, like, I just feel a little out of it, but I go and, like, work out.
And, like, I just have, like, a routine.
If, like, if that happened, say I was walking, like, I fucking, one time I was walking and I slipped on the ice.
I lay on my back, didn't hit my head, but it still, like, gives me the, the, the.
um i don't know like i get dizzy or whatever that that feeling um i just it's happened so many
times i'm really good at like fixing it now like i just i have like a routine where i'll go and
like work out and like i find that like running and like getting blood flow and oxygen that like really
helps me and then just getting back into like doing things but not like pushing it too far um but yeah
nowadays it's completely it's not even close to like that was like one situation that like
really fucked me up for people that have or listening that have really bad concussion symptoms
like what do you think helped you the most so what i had was post concussion uh syndrome so that's
something where like after i think like two weeks or a month you have like lasting uh effects
yeah uh are you asking about that or are you asking about someone who just got a concussion
What do you think helped you recover the most?
I mean, if it was somebody who just got a concussion in a football game,
I would tell them just to like, you know, take it easy or do whatever you're supposed to do.
But if you're like someone like me who's had lasting effects for a month now,
I would say that you need to slowly integrate yourself back into doing the things you were doing
that aren't going to risk you hitting your head again.
So, like, working out, for instance, like, working out is literally the biggest thing for me.
But, like, that's super good for you because it brings oxygen in your blood to your brain.
That's really good.
It just helps me, I guess.
I don't know.
That's what helps me working out and doing, like, my exercises where I'd follow, like, the dots, I guess.
Retraining your brain or your eyes.
Basically, you just got to slowly.
integrate yourself back into society and do things that aren't harmful there's like so much
fucking uh like substance to this like there's so many things i need to like uh that is like
involved in this that it's hard for me to explain it on a podcast without it being 10 hours long
i'm like not trying to like go too in depth to bore people but also like cover things that
are important so sorry if this is all over i think it's a very crucial
story that like needs to be told and concussions aren't to be fucked with no obviously you're a
perfect example of that but it's like you know people on the internet they just see like the
bright side of of everything we do and like um is is knowing like the extreme lows
of like the brick by brick step by step to like get out of like
out of that and it is like
I'm sure if you reflect back
on it or like could go back like
you might think
like you're never going to recover
right? Yeah. And plenty of people
probably feel that way about you know
so many different situations
in their life. If it's not a concussion it might be
loss of a loved one or
your parents divorce or something like
you know so many things that that could affect
you know kids at different ages like
in an extreme
extreme way but it's like finding that thing like you finding
your purpose passion and purpose you need to just get back get back to integrating into life man
you got to get back to live in yeah man i mean it's it's it's a crazy story obviously it's like
i didn't even know like the full effect of it really until you know we started talking about it
but as you said like you just you locked out that period of your life that's terrible i don't like
thinking about it all which is tough like so i'll say we are
me as a person I didn't know you very well at that point yet you know we were at even like early on
this is right before we were starting the YouTube channel we were all hanging out but at that point
you were just you know another buddy that came to hang around and so like I felt now hearing all
this like feel really bad not understanding that better just because because let's say I should
say fast for it a little bit we had started the YouTube channel we were like let's make videos
let's do this.
It was after we got a little bit of traction.
And you had taken, like, three months off.
And I'm over here like, what the fuck?
What is he doing?
I thought he wanted to do this YouTube thing.
And I should have been asking, I knew it was from your concussion,
is why you had to step back for a little while.
But instead of asking, yeah, like, what the problem is, you know,
I was just kind of upset.
Right.
So anyway, just, you know, reaching out.
And I think the hardest part went, and we would be like, well, how do you feel?
And you're like, like, shit, you couldn't really explain it.
It's hard.
You know, you could be like, I'm dizzy.
I don't know what to tell you.
And we'd be like, what?
Also, like, I don't really like bringing, like, bad energy.
You know, like, when you, like, talk about something not positive, I just don't really
like bringing that to the room.
Yeah.
Which ended up creating, like, a lack of communication.
Right.
I was like, what are you doing?
I just don't think you guys understood, which no one really understood.
I didn't.
I didn't really, like, you know.
Very few people, which made it very hard to, like, talk to people about and just lonely, honestly.
Yeah.
During those, like, college years, did you kind of use YouTube as, like, an escape?
Almost, like, of reality, the limited time.
Like, I remember you had the cracked iPad, but, like, you were like, dude, this T.J. Hunt guy, he's making filming with cars.
Like, look at the WRX he had because you had a WRX.
Right.
You were on DJ Hunt way before anyone else,
among many, Danny Duncan, too.
So what did make you want to become a YouTuber?
Where did that step from?
Because you wanted it before that was even a thing.
Yeah, I mean, I just, I thought it was really cool.
I thought that they got to just do whatever they want,
which obviously I've learned that it's not really like that.
It's not quite simple.
But you also made a lot of money.
And I wasn't necessarily like infatuated with like,
oh, I need to make a bunch of.
money i didn't necessarily care like about being super rich i just liked uh like cars and i wanted
like i had a pretty simple taste like i never expected to like own a gtr or like anything like
that until like later years but like i just had like i had a i had a wrx and i fucking love that car
and i wanted to put parts on it and like make it cooler but like at the time obviously
buying a fucking set of replica wheels that were eight hundred dollars was like unachievable you
You know, I'd fucking, no money.
And I was just making fucking $10 an hour, working the little bit I did.
And, you know, so I think that's why I thought it was cool that these guys were making.
Initially, why about the camera actually was before making a car channel.
Because I thought I would see T.J. Hunt and Evan Shanks, they'd make the YouTube videos
and they'd obviously make money off of it.
Then they'd buy more car parts with it.
And then they would film putting the car parts on their car and then make more money.
So I was like, that's a great system.
And I also thought it was cool.
Like, I like talking cars.
I was super into, like, tuner cars.
I still am, but I feel like I've just maybe moved on to other things.
I have all the things in a plate.
But, yeah, I fucking loved Subaru's and, like, WXSTIs and, uh, and EVOs.
So speaking of Subaru's,
remember that time that you went to Las Vegas, Nevada to buy that?
Dude, that thing was so sick on Instagram,
but I think the guy who got it
or the guy that sold it to the guy that got it
fucked it up.
So it was like this show car
will put it up on the screen.
STI on bag,
like everything was done to it.
And someone fucked it up in the process
and then they were trying to sell it,
but the seller didn't like disclose that it was fucked up.
Like he was just like, yeah,
it's perfect, like perfect condition.
Like, I mean, I didn't really ask
many questions because I was just looking at it like no one's going to fucking ruin a car like
this you know yeah um so I was like I've seen it all over obviously it's it's perfect got there
thing was a pile of shit I mean that's basically it and then we I took the YouTube video down because
like I felt like I didn't do a good job of like showing it but that video was blowing it was
it was blowing up for the time which was kind of crazy looking back that we took it down because
it was getting tons of views but we're like this is not the right not the way we want to get our
views or portray our channel. Yeah, I felt like it made, it made us look bad because I didn't do a good job
of telling the story of what happened. I think I had G-Rag holding the fucking camera. Like, I should
have brought one of you guys, but, well, you were, that was like, early, I was going to surprise
you guys. Early Seaboy's days and CJ flew out to Vegas with G-Reg and his dad to buy this car
and then surprise us with it. Before we were, like, surprising each other with, like, different
things. Because I had, I had totaled my blue Subaru W-X hitting two deer. Oh, yeah.
That's why I was getting that.
But then I ended up getting the Evo.
To this day, that's the only YouTube video we've taken down.
And I'd say it's not even really a bad reason.
Yeah.
I mean, I just, I watch it now.
And if I did watch it, I would be like, ugh.
Yeah.
That's cringe.
I don't know.
So throughout the years, you know, we've been doing this for a while now.
In your opinion, what would you say, like, our biggest hurdle has been?
All of us.
All of us getting on.
like the same page and moving together as one i think like it was so tough at the beginning because
um i mean you guys weren't like super into youtube like me like i was fucking just obsessed with it
and like i felt like i was trying to learn and stuff and you guys i don't know if you guys
quite understood what it could be like something that was really nice about uh you know my
really bad concussion and like kind of being a hermit and doing nothing was it gave me a lot
of time to sit by myself and like think you know because i i didn't have anything else to really
do so i'd think a lot and uh i would like google stuff and i don't know i just i in a way was
like just learning like i would sit on the computer and like i'd google stuff i would fucking
like watch youtube i don't know i just learned about a lot of stuff like that's why that's how i
knew about like bitcoin and shit way before just because like i was just fucking yeah do you see
anything ever coming and competing with YouTube? Not right now, no. But, I mean, it'd be really hard, too, honestly.
I mean, Mr. Beast says it all the time, too, is like, I mean, YouTube's right now is just obviously the goat, content king.
Getting bigger and bigger. Yeah, it's kind of like, it's just a form of entertainment, you know?
Yeah. It's like a way to give yourself a TV show. If you, like, that was really the big thing, too.
I always wanted to be on TV
Like I was super
Like as a kid growing up
Like Rob Deerick was like my idol
And like Bam Margera Viva La Bammy
Just watch that
Um
Like shit like that
And I just thought they were so cool
Who's your favorite now
Like who's my idol?
Yeah like who do you look up to
Not necessarily idol
But like who do you look at
Is like man they're doing a really good job
And I respect them for this reason
Like
There's a lot of people that I look up to
I mean
Logan Paul obviously
fucking chase hero um fuck dude there's so many mr beast i'm trying to think of people that aren't
youtubeers obviously rob dear dick he's like a very big entrepreneur um god i have a lot of people
like heavy d it'll be cool to meet him um what do you what do you like about him heavy d yeah for
joe rogan obviously um heavy d the reason why i like heavy d is because he's just a man dude like he
gets down like you know he's just he's to the point like he's no bullshit you can just tell he's
just a good guy and he's a hard worker and he gets shit done it does and he's also smart like he's
just fucking well-rounded dynamic yeah you know and same with joe rogan like Joe rogan can talk to
anybody like you look at like his podcast he'll have like a navy seal on and then the next one he
has a person who escaped from north korea and he asks like the best questions and i think he just
learns like they're just smart you know and like they're like the definition of a real man like
I think like he hunts and not that hunting makes you a man but like just does manly stuff
takes care of his family very respectable yeah yeah like you just they just do the right thing
i mean we talk about this all the time but you're so addicted to just constant stimulus
i know dude like when you were talking about like trying to stay like this like i'm such a
sicko like i fucking love just like the the like i fucking love the views i love it when like video
is getting views i love seeing the money keep coming in i love like constant like change like i like
like upgrades i love that would you consider yourself more of like a materialistic upgrade like
you like you like working towards buying that next thing no one wants to be like oh yeah i'm materialistic
like i care about money but do you like making
money and constantly growing and becoming bigger and better so you can buy different things
and grow your lifestyle or are you like no no i i just want to make like better videos or have
the videos receive more or do you think they like go hand and hand i think it goes hand and hand
honestly like i i wouldn't want to make like shitty videos and then make more money off of them
i'd rather make good videos and also yeah because we can't a lot of people do yeah i don't know yeah
I guess I just like, I like feeling like my life is getting better.
I like making, I like just building, I guess.
That's probably the best thing, the best way to put it.
Building, growing.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, I don't know.
It's like modifying your car.
Like, it sucks when it's stock.
So you fucking buy parts and put it on.
You heard it here.
Yeah, that's a great way to put it.
It's a great way to put it.
Nobody wants a stock life.
I like being able to do what I want.
I realize six years.
ago that money is power and money is freedom maybe not i shouldn't money is power but more so
that money is freedom yeah um but money can also kind of like fucking lock you down you know how
they say like more money more problems yeah i don't think that's true i think i think higher lifestyle
more problems true because you can have a shitload of money in the bank you got a million bucks
sitting in the bank but you're still living a pretty chill lifestyle yeah right you're just how you're
chilling right but you got um uh you got a hundred thousand dollars in the bank but you got a million
dollar house you got a hundred thousand dollar car you got all these payments you got people you got
employees yeah uh depending on you that's like the you're making more money but you got more problems
you got more headaches so it's like if your lifestyle doesn't grow with your income then yeah
do you have more problems i think it's more stuff more problems like the more you buy like you
get a boat you got to take the boat in you got to take it out you got to bring it to get
service you do everything the more stuff you have it takes up your time then you have less free time
yeah less mental space i think Elon musk was talking about yeah he got rid of all the shit sold
everything because it takes up too much my time and then he's in space like six months later yeah
that is that is true yeah the more stuff you have the more you have to maintenance and lord knows we
don't like maintenanceing there's something easy about like you look at like the start like we
didn't have any money or anything but it was just fun like i was i was just happy to be like doing
something i guess i think just doing what you love is probably the biggest part like if i have to
like do things for the videos that i don't want to do then it would suck what's your favorite
like in all the roles that you have what's your favorite role what state actually state your
roles like what do you do in the company and then and then answer it i'd say like i come up with
a lot of content ideas uh structuring of like maybe what bits go into videos because obviously
we have multiple different segments in a video so like what flow is in the best um obviously like
the camera guy a lot of times and then i'd say also like almost director behind the camera at
times like just like hey like i missed you saying this like or like if you say this like this will be
really funny you know um obviously editor and then like thumbnails stuff like that i guess
title title like i do like a lot of the up a lot mostly you like a lot of the youtube
back end stuff i do i guess maybe over like i i see i have input like everyone else into
moves that we make as company right what's your favorite of my roles yeah if you could
i did i guess my favorite thing about what we do it doesn't matter what we're doing that day
this doesn't even answer your question but i love it when everyone's just having fun like i love it
when we're like we could literally be doing nothing but when we're just all laughing and like it's
just vibe in like that's the best because that's when like the best content comes and also it's
just the easiest and yeah it's just fun i love that yeah i mean i think we all do it is tough
you know because it's like not every single thing we do is super easy to just get into that
like flow state i'd say like for me um filming a video is like kind of it it seems like it maybe
is a little bit more work for me than like uh like some people in the group just because i'm like
running around with the camera I'm trying to get like certain shots and I'm also trying to
like be like hold on don't do this yet because I need to do this first that way you know I don't
know I agree to and like I don't even I don't even do as much as you do but yeah it's a lot of work
yeah I believe you're a creator at heart yeah like you love to create
like a piece of yeah I'd agree with that like through and through you love like coming up
with a vision like even say you know Micah comes up with the idea but you're like yes
this is how we can make that execute it yeah how to execute it and how to make it the best because
like you could come up with a great idea there's tons of people that have filmed way cooler things
in us but they have an iphone like this and nobody talks and we explain this going on and it's not
good and that's what you're really good at like figuring out how to yeah put it into a video
yeah exactly and make it work oftentimes someone will come to me and be like hey this is a really
good idea and it is a good idea but i'm like that just wouldn't work for a youtube video because
i don't know how i'd film that like how would i capture it and how would i make it make sense
exactly you know um so that's like something other people don't think about but yeah going back to your
question like do i like like making money so i can buy like materialistic things i think i just like
building like building my life yeah like building fucking like just growing you know creating i guess
i think all of us do and that's why we all get along pretty well yeah yeah we do it's it's not
always for the same reason you know like you you like building um you like making good video
but then you also better videos more views more money you can buy a but i mean buy a nice
house where micha is like i don't really give a fuck about like that but he has a completely
different agenda but it all it's all pretty much the same deep down like we all do love to
create yeah like when something is unfolding in front of us basically in front of the camera it's
like we all have hard-ons you know yeah but yeah it's just like i'm like i don't want to get
into this again i like i like making people laugh or like making people happy i don't know like i just
i'm just like very lucky i'd say that uh i mean all of us are that people like watching our videos
like super grateful for that because there's so many people out there making videos that aren't
getting any views grateful for like the positive comments too like yeah we read them and when we hear
them we're like sweet you like what we're doing we like what we're doing too we're gonna keep
doing it. Just happy that I get to do this every day. And, yeah, I bet, like, I worked for it.
And that's my whole thing I tell other people is, like, you can do it too. Yeah. You just got to do
it, man. A lot of people sit around and talk about it. I often think back to, like, how many
videos we've created, like 300 videos. I don't even remember, probably 90% of them. But, like,
putting in the work back then just seemed like it just seemed like so mindless of like oh this is
just like what we got to do and now it's now it's luckily paying off and it's really cool to see
like all those old videos still pulling really really good views and um you know looking at like
the creator studio and be like holy shit like a video two and a half years ago pulled like 100
000 views this week and it's like man i'm glad that i put the work in back then
Yeah, that is for sure.
I just love achievement.
I've been really stuck on that question you did a while ago.
I just love achievement.
That's really what it is.
I don't necessarily love, like, I fucking hate editing videos.
I hate it.
It's like the worst time of my week is sitting there and working on a video for 12 to 14 hours editing it.
Yeah.
But nothing feels better than when it's done, uploaded.
People are watching it, liking it, and I go out to eat and get a beer.
Like, I feel like I did good.
That's what I like doing.
Mm-hmm.
I like achieving.
And the cool thing is, with what we're doing, you get a lot more achievements.
And they're all different, you know?
Like, there's a lot of achievements that we can reach towards versus at a job, the same job, same day.
Yeah.
How good did it feel to hit a million subscribers?
Oh, really good, dude.
I mean, fuck, like, I like had, I don't know.
It's like you want it so bad, but you don't know, like, if it's really going to happen.
You know.
Would you say that was something that you worked for, like, since the beginning?
Yeah.
Was that your goal?
I mean, obviously, it was like a fucking 100 subscribers.
It was just fucking getting views at first, obviously.
And then, you know, your goal is the posts keep changing.
But, uh, yeah.
I mean, that felt amazing, dude.
I was so happy.
So happy.
Just because it was just, like, felt so official, you know?
It felt like, I mean, obviously we were doing it, no matter whether you got the subscribers
or not, you're doing it.
But, like, it just felt like it's.
sealed the deal kind of I guess I don't know it's a lot easier to tell people yeah I guess
yeah it makes me like 1.2 million versus 860,000 right yeah it uh I like like maybe just
being respected by people like I definitely stamped it like I don't know just like earned me more
respect in the community and like going places and yeah yeah I agree you know I agree completely
You know what's bullshit, though?
YouTube still hasn't sent us our 1 million plaque.
Yeah.
Can you imagine that you're asking?
You're like, yeah, how many subscribers do you have?
Oh, we're like 1.3 now?
And then they're just like, oh, but do you have your plaque?
You think people ask that?
No, but if they did, yeah, and you're like, no, and they're like, not that official.
Yeah, it's kind of bullshit.
But also, like, it's so weird because, like, when you're, like, I remember when we got our 100,000 plaque, I thought it was so fuck.
I mean, it meant so much to me.
But, like, the plaque really doesn't mean anything to me.
it would be sick to get one on this channel
I would like to have it though
I know so it's like subscribe
no I mean
in the grand scheme of things
it's just a plaque
exactly it's a thing on the wall
that we walk by
and you even look at it
what really matters is just
the people that are subscribing
and the content
I guess I don't know
video yeah
wow people like it
man
there you have it
CJ the creator
was a hell of an episode
sorry if it was all over the place
dude I don't know
it's just so much to talk about
I I felt like
it was pretty linear
I started from the beginning
I'm glad I'm fucking
I felt like fucking
I was like searching through
so much shit
that's another thing
I was like
kind of watching listening to you tell the story
and I could tell that you're like
thinking about
not something completely different
you were like thinking about the rest of your story
as you were telling you story
I didn't want to I would like jump ahead
but it's all good
that was fun dude
it was nice just sitting down
doing it
Yeah, but I've been dreading this podcast because I knew I was going to come
I literally, I've been dreading it since we started making it because I knew I'd have to tell this story
And I just like didn't really want to tell it
Yeah, you did fantastic
And I think, uh, I think a lot of people can take a lot of good points out of
The journey of your life and ours, but yours
Yeah, whether you are going through a hard time with a fucking concussion or if you broke your fucking leg and you're trying to get back to walking or something
set you back in life
you just got to work towards
getting back to where you want to be
and yeah
just try not to get too down on yourself
and find a purpose
you know
like something Heavy D once said
here's another reason why I like Heavy D
he said that
you know he was talking about all the people
in the world that like depression
is so like prominent right now
like prevalent all over the place
like so many people are depressed
well he was talking like
honestly
like i think uh if people just like i don't know exactly how you said but he said if if people just did
more they wouldn't be uh they i think less people would be depressed and that's so true because
if you have a purpose and a reason to get up and and like go you fucking can do it like i don't even have
time to be depressed dude i fucking i'm worried about i'm not worried but i am worried but i'm always
thinking about what i got to do next i'm always on to the next you know like i'm always just building
Yeah, if you don't have time to sit there and think about your life.
So your life or your issues, you know, you got to work on different things.
You know, so yeah, I don't know.
Absolutely.
It's tough to convince people that, you know.
Right.
And I mean, obviously I'm not a fucking therapist or a mental health expert, but I think that it would help for, you know, I think working out is a big thing.
That's why I love it so much.
It is interesting, though, but because you've been in a position where you're, you know,
you actually can say something yeah yeah i can yeah you are right on that but i don't know everyone's
different yeah i don't really try to give advice unless people ask for it so many people
fucking fucking like always try to give me advice back in the day like with youtube fucking you know i just
yeah maybe so yeah i don't if someone's like trying to do something like i don't go and tell them
what to do unless they ask me yeah
yeah man uh dude this was probably one of my favorite episodes i think we uncovered a lot i found it
interesting because as you stated like you don't you don't talk about that stage of your life ever
you know none of us bring it up ever because it was such a low point so it was um you know
gave us some clarity and it gave the listener a lot of a lot of clarity yeah as to like you know
the things that built you makes it a little more under you a little bit
more understandable you know i'm glad glad we got it off i could keep going i got so much shit we'll hold
it for another podcast for those of you that are still watching we appreciate you if you have not
subscribed subscribe we're so close to 100k let's just get yeah okay and yeah and um yeah i mean we've
been talking amongst the group like where we want to take this podcast yeah so like obviously
we can sit down and and um talk just amongst the group but it's like how many times can you do that
where it's, you know, telling new stories and, like, kind of getting into different things.
Obviously, we have, like, so many stories, but we want to continue to maybe bring on guest.
So it's, like, looking at, it's looking at, like, well, we're kind of in the middle of nowhere.
How do we get guest on the podcast without, like, soon?
We can start doing that.
We can.
I think we should, yeah.
Yeah, and also, we're going to Florida for Cletus's Lay Mullet's race in November.
I'm going to, I, well, we're going to bring down all the podcast equipment.
and obviously I bet you Haley will hop on for sure
but maybe we'll be able to get like Cletus or some of those guys
if we could get them on that'd be amazing obviously
they're really big guys and I don't I understand if they don't want to
but go spam their shit to be like yo you guys need to hop on
on the Life Wide Open podcast or just say Seaboy's TV's podcast
It'd be sick to get Haley Digan
Whistling Diesel
Heavy Dee geez Westland Champlain
Right I love Westin
That guy's the best.
Go spam fucking all those guys say,
go on C-Boy's TV's podcast.
Because then they'll start, like, noticing it in the comments.
If they keep seeing, like, prevalent ones,
I'll be like, huh, maybe I will then.
Yeah.
But, yeah, it'll be cool, me and all those guys.
Yeah, we really excited.
Shout out, Haley's one that invited us to be our co-jab.
We haven't decided who's going to be the co-jave.
Oh, we got to figure that out.
We've got to figure that out.
So we're going to do a little race between all of us,
and whoever wins gets to race the second.
The first leg with Haley, which that will be fun.
And we're also going to Seema.
Yes, right.
We're all doing that.
That's going to be fun.
It's going with Mark and Tint.
It's like in a couple weeks.
Beginning of November.
Mark was just telling us that we got a VIP booth at some.
Steve Aoki.
Some club.
Hey, hold up.
Are you paying for it, Mark?
Let's go.
Amazing.
On that note.
Yeah, on that note, Ryan and I are going to a Vikings game.
Oh, yeah.
See ya.
Thanks, guys.
Have fun watching.
Peace.