Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - A 100% Survival Rate with Lilly Singh

Episode Date: November 11, 2021

Chelsea is joined this week by Youtube star, actress and author Lilly Singh to talk about kissing on-screen, smoking weed with celebrities, and following your truth. An extremely private woman wonders if her family needs to know she’s gay. A girlfriend tries to repair the relationship after her boyfriend popped the question... and she said no. And an extremely Canadian couple wants to be together despite one family’s disapproval.*Executive Producer Nick StumpfProduced by Catherine LawEdited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert*****The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space.

You're hired to fill the space with you. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I want to introduce my guest today. She's a friend of mine. We've known each other for a few years now, and I really respect and love her work. And she is a pioneer, and she does things for the first time for a lot of people. She's an actress, she's a producer, she's a writer and a creator. She is an author, and she has a recurring role on the second season of Dollface.

Oh, I'm excited to see that. Thank you. I make out with people. Oh, what a surprise, Lily. Another girl, it's not you. I'm sorry. No, no, that's fine. That's fine, actually, since I'm straight. You also have a first-look deal at Universal Television Alternative Studio, and your production company is called Unicorn Island Productions, and you're developing a Netflix series with Kenya Barris. Ooh, that looks good. And you have a new book that is about to be released or about to be announced or released?

Announced. Announced. And you may or may not learn the title of that during this episode. It's called Be a Triangle. You may. You may learn the title of the book. Hey, I didn't even introduce you yet. Can you please shut the fuck up?

Please welcome Lily Singh. Hi! I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited. You're my queen. Oh, baby. Baby. Love you.

You're my queen. I'm so excited to be here. She just put her tongue in my mouth again. This is the second time that's happened. I will do it every time. COVID can't stop me. The last time we kissed, it was just supposed to be a little kiss like that, and then you slipped me the tongue like three or four times.

That was the plan. I'm so excited to see you. We actually have a little kind of circle of friends in common. Yes, absolutely. And when did I see you last at Charlize's event? Charlize's event. And you gave me some great advice about getting in shape that I took. Oh, what?

Tell me. You were like just smaller meals. And you also, because I believed for so long. So a little bit of backstory. I've never been fit in my life. I've always really struggled to be fit and take care of my body because I've always focused on my career and deteriorated my body and health. But when I met Chelsea last, she said, listen, you don't have to do cardio all day long. She told me you don't do cardio.

You lift weights. You're consistent. and you eat smaller meals you just made it sound so attainable for me since then I've literally lost 20 pounds oh I kid you not what have you and what have you been doing I have an intermittent fasting I've been doing low carb and I've been just changing my diet to make better choices and doing weight lifting whenever I can and how do you feel mentally I feel mentally phenomenal I feel like my confidence and it wasn't even just about how I looked I want to emphasize that I was always really happy with how I looked I thought my body's my body and I love it but now it's just like the

energy I have and the confidence I feel and the clarity I have in my mind and all that stuff. And you really did inspire me. Oh, well, I'd love to hear that. And you know what? I just want to say that I want to reiterate that because when people think about dieting and then people think of it externally, but it does change your mental clarity. It changes your energy levels. It changes your happiness levels, your endorphins, you know, when you feel good and you wake up and you're not exhausted and you have even energy throughout the day, it's, it's a great feeling because you feel Like, you can almost do anything. I would pick that over the superficial stuff any day.

If you had to say, when you do this right, you'll either feel good inside or outside, I'd be like, inside, inside. I want to feel good inside. Because now when I walk up the stairs, I'm not sweating. I'm sweating, but for other reasons. I'm not really sure why. I'm always sweating. Maybe it's because you have a joint in your mouth.

Well, that doesn't really make you sweat. I mean, from somebody... I'm trying to be relatable with drugs. I don't know how it feels. I know, I know. I was just about to say, have you ever smoked a joint? Who sweats when they smoke a joint? I only had two experiences.

One, I got really high for the first time and it was horrible and I tripped out so bad. You should have been with me. I would have never let that happen to you. And then when I went to your tour, you gave me an edible and you told me to take half of it. And did you? I took one quarter of it. And what happened? I felt nothing.

Okay. Well, that's because that's like one milligram. But anyway, if you want to get high again, if you ever do, I will arrange what you're going to take. Okay. Amazing. Everyone says these words to me. You should know. Oh, they do?

Snoop Dogg was also like, okay, I'll get you high. I'm like, you are not getting me high, sir, Mr. Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg came to do my show once, and the building that we operated the show out of smelled like marijuana until the next fall. Yep. He came to my show, and the green room was basically a hot box situation. And then on the way out, he just took a poster off the wall of me

and took it home. Oh, I love him. He's amazing. But I was like, sir, you will not be getting me high. You know who also has great weed is Wiz Khalifa. He has the best weed. I feel like I would die. Yeah.

We were once at a dinner and Shania Twain wanted to, we were all smoking a joint and well, it was my dinner that I was filming for Netflix. So I'm not name dropping because it was an actual TV show. So shut it down. It was Shania Twain. I think I've told the story on this podcast, but Shania Twain, Jill Scott, the guy from Imagine Dragons and Wiz Khalifa and Shania Twain. I smoked one hit of it, walked into the bathroom in one of my guest rooms and couldn't find my way back to my house. I was like what room am I in and where and when I came out Shania I was like Shania here we passed the joint to her and she's like oh no I don't touch the stuff I'm like you need it more than any of us you better fucking smoke this now yeah my first experience was horrible I forgot I was convinced

that my tongue wouldn't fit in my mouth anymore so I was high and I was like and I couldn't remember to put my tongue back in my mouth it wouldn't fit in my brain it wouldn't fit Yeah, well, you know what? Cannabis isn't for everybody. I'll just take vodka shots. I'm fine with that. Catherine, how are you doing today? I'm doing great.

I'm doing very great. Oh, wow. It sounds like you're about to climax. That's how you say it when you're about to... This is splendid. I go, this is great. This is lovely. I'm feeling very great.

And I go... That's how I climax. I'm feeling happy. It's like sweater weather finally. I know. It's so nice that it's not so hot. I hate it. I'm wearing a sweater and a jacket.

Chelsea's wearing a t-shirt and a thong. I'm just wearing a thong. Yeah. Thank you. I got to wear like vampy lipstick. It's like fully fall. Or I'm making myself believe it's fully fall, even though it'll probably be 90 this weekend. I like have people who take seasons seriously, especially in LA where there are none.

Yeah. Y'all are really hoping for the season. I was on the East Coast and I was like, we were in Maine and I was like, oh, the smell of the sea. like that is my that is my like home you know that is my special spot and I and like fried clams and just being on the water and by a wharf and eating and I was like oh the east coast and the leaves were changing and I'm like I love it here and my boyfriend was like oh my god you are totally like you have this energy about you that you feel like I could see it he's like this is

your spot I'm like yeah the east coast is my spot anyway but that's why I live in Los Angeles so what do we have on tap for today katherine oh we have a theme of major life transitions some career changes engagements or maybe broken engagements and coming out or opening up to family it's a lot y'all really catered this to me huh yeah like let's get up here folks well yeah yeah exactly we want to get we want to curtail our episodes to our very special guests i appreciate that so much great and let's just take a quick break and we'll come back with some callers behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or

come home at all and will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.

I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for thought daughters pop culture obsessives and anyone who thinks pride

and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse i'm eli rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and the conversations everyone can't stop having i'm gonna have to look up this story i'm obsessed i'm obsessed from best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to

a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook on the big money players network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head

right how about we flip the script okay what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that to happen. It seems like you did. If the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm open to it. I'm always going to accept. You know, Danny McBride,

fine. Yeah. It's all this fragile masculinity exuding. I could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you. I was like, is that weed? Nope. It's fragile masculinity. Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times, out of

context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is. You know what I mean? Like, they're like, oh, what's the state? Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake. Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us.

Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, we're back, you guys. We're back from our commercial break with my dear friend, Lilly Singh, who I just love because I just love your energy. Oh my God, thank you.

I love your energy. And your upbeat attitude and your beautiful smile and all of it. I drink a lot of energy drinks. What kind? They don't sponsor me, so I can't say. So you can't say. So we'll never, we'll never fucking know. I love how that's how our behavior is now.

I know. When people are like, what do you use for your skin? I'm like, I won't tell you. I won't tell you until they pay me. Okay, so we're going to start with some callers and we're going to give them some feedback. Who do we have, Katherine? What's going on? Our first email today comes from Jeremy. He says, Dear Chelsea, So like so many people right now, I'm out of work.

I'm a singer and an actor and I've done shows in New York and tours and cruise ships. And before this pandemic hit, I was so excited about where my career was headed. Then everything stopped. So I panicked and went back to college. By going back, I realized that there is life beyond my career. I don't want to give up on my dreams, but I also don't want to be stuck in a position again where I have no work. I just don't know what the right thing is to do. Any advice you have for me in this career transition would be so appreciated.

Thanks from a big fan, Jeremy. Okay, is Jeremy here? He's not. This was just an email. Oh, God. I wish I understood how this podcast worked. Whenever I ask for the call, they're not there. And then whenever I respond like it's a write-in, they're on the phone.

You're doing great. They're on the Zoom. I think you're doing amazing. Thank you. Thank you. Lily, do you want to start with us? Listen, I relate to this struggle so, so hard as someone who also is like, I want to make art and I'm creative. And my Indian parents were like, shut the F up.

That's not going to happen. That's not a real job. Get a real job. So here's my advice. I think you live in a very, very unique time where there's so many opportunities to create things. We live in a very privileged time in that way, right? There's so many platforms. There's so many ways to avoid the gatekeepers, make your own stuff, build a following.

However, that takes time and energy, a lot of hustle, and a lot of opportunity. So what I did is I had a job. I hustled really hard to, on the side, also do my art, also work on it, learn to edit, learn to shoot, learn how to do comedy. I had two full-time jobs for a really long time, and that's how I built my audience. I'm going to say you don't have to follow the conventional. Like, I need to get hired as an actor to do this anymore. Make your own sketches, create your own content,

and I think the opportunity for that today is better than ever before. Is he an entertainer? Is that what he said? Yeah, he's an actor and a singer. Oh, I see. Yeah, exactly. Right. This is the best time in the world.

Tick-tock, baby. Yeah, tickety-tock. Get on it. Yeah, but it's not easy. I think a lot of people think like, oh, I'll just post some videos and get a following. It's a lot of work. But if you want it, get the job that pays the bills and then do the job you love when you have the time after the job that pays the bills. yeah but I also would say like if you made the effort to go to school and you're into school

you can do all of it at the same time right like get the education you want and then supplement it with all of this stuff because it's going to be a huge learning curve anyway to learn how to like you know register on tiktok on social media in acting in all of that stuff and to make your mark so it's going to be a learning curve anyway so why not also be supplementing that with an education I also think, and this is like a nerdy thing, but I think school is dope. I miss school. I would like to go to college. I would like to go to school.

I think when I was in school, I'm like, ugh. But now I'm like, I would love to go to school. I would like to go live on campus and be in a fraternity and a sorority because I would like to tell men what the fuck they're doing wrong and try and change the trajectory of their bad behavior. And I would also like to be involved in sorority life so that I can steer girls towards having a little bit more self-esteem, a little bit more self-confidence

and not taking any fucking shit that's right so anyway that's a side note we both want to go back to college a fun fact to wrap this all up as a Canadian

I didn't think sororities and fraternities were real I thought they were only in movies until I was in my mid-twenties they actually shouldn't you know it is kind of an antiquated they're kind of messed up

it's an antiquated notion because you know it's just exclusionary it's excluding so many people yeah it's mean because people don't get in right so forget it

I don't want to be in a fraternity I don't want to be in a sorority what I really want to do is just go back to college But the thing is, if I went back to school, I would end up having an inappropriate relationship with somebody that was 18 or 17, and that's illegal. 17 is illegal. I know that.

Isn't 18 illegal? 18 is not illegal. 18 is legal. You can have a relationship with an 18-year-old, but an 18-year-old can't drink here? That's right. Okay. America. Hello?

Are you just learning that? The legal age for us is 19 in Canada. The drinking age in America is 21 years old. But that's ridiculous. You can do anything else before 21. No shit, Sherlock. Our country is fucking upside down and twisted. You Americans, I tell you.

I know. Canadians is where it's at. 100%. That's why I'm going to marry Lily so I can get my Canadian citizenship. I brought the ring. You know, careers in general, I feel when I was growing up, I had this very linear idea of what my career and life would be. I would go to school, get a piece of paper that said I was good at something, get a job,

do that job forever, and that was going to be my life. That's not real life. That's not real life at all. I got a psych degree, which I, it's a paperweight right now at my house. I didn't know you had a psych degree. See? It's useless. I never use it. But that's cool. That's not useless.

But here's the thing about psych is that you do all this reading and studying and at the end of the 50-page chapter it goes, but also none of this may be true. That's what I can't get on board with. Well, what do you mean? They'll have all these theories about like why they think people behave that way. And the last paragraph of the book will be like, but also this is all up for debate and may not actually be accurate. It's all conjecture. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean?

It's speculation or yeah, right. Maybe I use my psych degree a little bit like when I'm flirting to try to trick people. I don't know. anyways but the point I'm making is I got a psych degree I thought I was going to be a counselor can you believe that and then I discovered YouTube and I made YouTube videos and then I was like this is what I'm doing for the rest of my life I guess yeah and then from there I wrote a book and I was like oh I guess I'm an author then from there I went on a tour and I'm like oh I guess I'm a performer and then I got a late night show and I thought this is what I'm doing for the rest of my

life the point I'm making is my career has changed so many times and each time I was so sure this is the thing I'm doing forever and then life slaps you across the face and you realize that you don't have to narrow yourself into one direction you can do it all and you can do all the things that you think are interesting and life will probably force it to be that way yeah I think anytime you think you're set up for something and it's going to be for a long time life throws you a curveball I know because for my experience it's like I always go into things thinking oh fuck how long is this going to go on for like it's the opposite thing like I don't like to be I have a commitment I'm commitment phobic in that way with, with regard to career and like signing a contract

for more than two years. Like I'm like, Oh no, no, no, no, no. I don't know if I'm going to want to be in this country. I don't know if I want to still live in LA and I don't want to be beholden to anyone. You know, I have major issues about that. Like I need freedom to move around, bounce around whenever I want. So I have kind of the opposite thing with you, but again, in multiple different ways, like doing so many different things when I feel them, you know, obviously that's a luxury to have and not everybody starts out their career like that but the more of a foundation you lay the more options you have later on down the road so you know having an education having talent having all these different modes of making money and making income and attracting

people to you is always going to pay back in spades so I also think another big thing is you can't grow and stay the same like that can't happen and I think with late night for me I was so excited about late night and i really believe i can do anything after that because it was so exhausting in every single way and i just feel like everything i do now is a breeze to be honest but when i did late night i was like okay this is a historic thing this is for representation you know the first woman in 30 years you know i'm the first indian woman but then when i was in that environment i think something changed within me when i thought i could be moving the needle in a better, more effective way. I learned the tools I learned from late night, but I very quickly learned

that I was only going to be able to do so much in that setup. And now I have ambitions to be the person who makes the decisions about the representation, not just the shiny person that is the representation. And so I feel like everything happens for a reason. And when your career shifts, it's because you're meant to do something else and you're meant to contribute in a different way. That's what I'm telling myself. But that's also what we talk about on this podcast a lot is like instead of resisting the change accepting the change and going okay this is this is over this doesn't work for me or whatever and moving on to the next thing with the same amount of enthusiasm the same amount of interest knowing that you know instead of looking

in the rearview mirror which so many people are so guilty of like I wish I could have should have would have it's over it doesn't matter you cannot change history so it's better to just move forward with 150 percent of enthusiasm and being like okay I'm gonna nail this and then everything kind of always ends up lining up for you in the right way. 100%. 100%. I completely agree. Thus far, you have a 100% survival rate

of surviving every single thing that has happened in your life. 100%. You've gone through every single thing. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's a great point. I'm going to start making it. Yeah.

Remember, we had our first late-night kiss in the beginning of your show. We did. Oh, my God, yes. Yeah. Lily was like... And then we had, like, 20 others off-camera. Well, yeah, because Lily wouldn't leave me alone.

She wouldn't get off my jock. So typical. Chelsea always comes through. No matter what I ask her, Literally, no matter what I asked, I was like, Chelsea, I need you to come to my show. I need to kiss someone. She's like, cool, be there. I'll be there.

I'll be there on Tuesday. She's a real one. A real one. Yeah, yeah. I try. Yeah, I had a mint that day out of respect for our situation. I would never do that for my boyfriend. That's really nice of you because I did not.

I know. Last night we were flying home from New York and my boyfriend was like, does my breath smell? I'm like, I don't know, honey. I just keep my mask on all the time because I love the smell of my own breath. Isn't that so weird? We're disgusting. We're all disgusting. No, but we're all so disgusting that I don't want to smell other people anymore.

I'm going to continue wearing that mask for years because I like my breath. And, well, it mostly smells like cannabis, but that is a smell that comforts me. And I like my mask smell. So the other day I took someone's mask to borrow. Like a friend of mine was like, here. That sounds safe. Yeah, of course. I was like, how do I get the Delta variant quickly?

And they gave it to me and I was like, oh, no, thank you. I don't like that smell. The biggest joke of this entire situation is you're supposed to wash your mask every time you use it. Come on. Yeah. Come on. That's ridiculous. Let's just settle down here.

The disposable ones? Those little blue and white ones? Are you supposed to wash? You wear the disposable ones? I wear those, yeah. Those, like, you know, doctor ones. Not the K95s, but the little thin blue and white ones. Oh, no.

I have my own cloth mask. No, no. Yeah, see, I'm not. No. I keep thinking it's going to be over any day. You need to just wake up and get with the times. It's never over. It's never getting over.

It's the pandemic. Yes. forever. Forever, ever, forever, ever. I don't know if you can afford that sample. I'm so sorry if you can't. Okay. I'm sure we can. I'm sure we can. It's a podcast. Why wouldn't we be able to? Chelsea's really good. I like the idea of putting in my own money to buy the licensing rights for my podcast. iHeart doesn't do it. I have to put up the money. I'm like, hey guys, I want to buy this song for 50 grand. Okay. Well, I hope that helps you and touch base with us and let us know what happens jeremy go jeremy go okay who do we have next okay our next caller is tara she's 40

and she lives in california she says dear chelsea i'm 40 years old and i have been married for 15 years to my high school sweetheart we've been together for the better part of 25 years but when i envision my future i don't see it being with a man i started having these feelings about two years ago but recently they've grown stronger and stronger while the vision of my new life excites me. And I've told my husband, who's been super supportive, I'm not sure how to tell my family. Any advice? And I actually spoke to Tara. She had written in before she talked to her husband. She said they're going to stay married for the time being. And he's really completely supportive. But she's a really private person and isn't really sure if her family needs to know.

So she's here with us right now. And she can tell you a little bit more about her situation. Hi, Tara. Hi, Chelsea. How are you? I'm great. Do you know Lily? Lily, Tara. Hi, Lily.

Nice to meet you. How's it going? What an awesome question. What a really awesome question. Yeah, it's good timing, too, because of my special guest. Yes. Oh, perfect. Hi.

Hi. I apologize. I'm not familiar with who you are, so. Don't apologize at all. Chelsea and I have very different demographics. Yes, don't worry. I'm sure her audience has no idea who the fuck I am, so no worries. yeah so my situation i guess everything's been actually pretty great with my husband but yeah

i'm a very private person i don't i don't instagram i don't twitter i don't anything i google myself to make sure that i can't find information on myself and i have like a big half italian family half irish family and it's navigating telling them because my husband i've been together for so long and that's all that they know and I just don't want to have to explain myself it's the the questions the why when did you this that like I really don't feel it's any other fucking business and like it is what it is but there's going to be family events coming up and it's just figuring out kind of how to bob and weave through that right well I I'll let you go first because you have some experience so my background is that at the tender age of 30 so

I relate to you at the age of 30 I came out as bi so don't don't at all feel like you're alone there's a whole bunch of us older folk who are like we're figuring things out and it's a lifelong journey and that's okay but you know what I completely agree with the sentiment of it is no one's business and you don't need to explain yourself and I think the most beautiful thing that people can decide is that they don't need to come out because they actually don't need to explain to anybody who they are and I I'm so emotional hearing your story because one of the only reasons I came out was because I was in the public eye and I had a big fear that someone else would say it before I would and I wouldn't be able to live with myself but I remember thinking

why do I need to tell like this extended group of friends or this extended group of aunts and uncles why do they need to explain who I am it's not like people come out as straight it's not like people like I have to tell you something I actually am straight like that doesn't happen right and so I think this I think you're a full-fledged adult you have your own life you are figuring out who you are and that's never gonna end that's gonna keep happening you don't really need to explain anything to anyone and i love the fact that your husband is being supportive i think that is wonderful but i think you don't really need to have a list of people to say i need to tell all these people and explain and you don't need to answer those questions i think all you need to do

is make a choice and set boundaries and this is me straight up quoting my therapist which is just when people ask you those questions which they will how did you know but what about this but what about your sex life hey this is just where i'm at and i don't really need to explain like let's let's instead go have a drink let's instead hang out I don't need to go through this entire process of uprooting my past now to explain to you who I am you just need to love who you are if you accept who you are that's all that matters truly yeah I'm totally fine with it and there's just such a rhetoric now around people just micromanaging their sexuality of their this and their that and I'm like I'm just like just you you're just you yeah I don't and it's also like

when you're I think and I feel so much for teens when they're coming because I'm like I think they still need the support of their parents and they still need to be taken after and when you're younger but when you're an adult it's kind of like if you want to celebrate who I am great if you don't I have a fully functioning life already and I'm doing my own thing and I'm going to be great either way so that's kind of the silver lining I discovered of coming out later in life where I didn't need to be scared that I was going to get kicked out I didn't need to be scared that I was going to get disowned. It was like, I already have an entire universe of my own. And so you can be part of it and we can party and go to pride together and listen to Lady Gaga

bops and be dope. Or you can be over there and I'll be doing that by myself over here. Yes. Very true. Very true. I love that you're talking about being a lesbian and you're wearing a shirt that says, hey, pussy. It's a perfect combination. It's amazing. Oh, it's Sofia Petrano, my inner golden girl. Pussy cat. Everyone has an inner golden girl, right? Yeah, yes, we do. Who's your inner golden girl? I'm not going to know any of the names of them because I'm too young.

And you guys are acting really old right now. Sorry, sorry. Bea Arthur's mine. Bea Arthur Dorothy is mine. There's one that drinks a lot, right? Rue McClanahan. Okay, I think that's me. I forget what her name was. What was her name, Tara? Dorothy Blanche. Blanche Devereaux.

Blanche. You don't drink a lot. Kind of. Not really. But, you know, I enjoy it. Betty White is the airhead. She's the dipsy doodle of the bunch. Yeah, I have a lot of friends like her. That's my grandma. Anyway, back to you, Tara. First of all, I think you should have a lot of gratitude for the fact that you are with a man that is as understanding as he is.

And he's cool with that. He understands that everything's good, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, we're still living together. We're staying married. It's just because logistically we've been together so long, it will probably just be a nightmare. We're really fortunate, too. We have a friend who, very close mutual friend, who's a divorce attorney.

So when it does have to happen, we can have her mediate through things. And yeah, he's just, he's, I mean, I'm sure it's confusing and hurtful. It hurts him because we've been together pretty much since we were kids. So it's kind of all he knows. It's somewhat all I know besides, you know, little small breaks here and there. But yeah, he's just, he's really been awesome. He's my best friend. He's one of the people I've known in my life the longest that I'm not related to.

So, yeah. And it seems to me like that really is the only person that you owe any explanation to is the person that you are living with or married to or in a relationship with. I agree with Lily. But I mean, I think what you're saying is that you don't want to even come out to your family. Right. No, it's not. I mean, it's kind of along the lines of what Lily said. I don't feel I owe anyone an explanation. and when the time comes and when I see them like my grandma was 92 and she's fucking sharp as a button but is she really gonna understand like oh wow how do you 25 years into a relationship just decide the rule of thumb is to always lie to the grandparents that's the rule of thumb you be honest to everyone else you always lie to the grandparents you're like I'm not gonna be the person that gives you the heart attack like straight I lie to all the grandparents that I feel is like just common

And like, I feel like that's fine. I would send her pictures of my dogs and she'd be like, don't send me pictures of your fucking dogs. Have kids and send me pictures of your kids. And I'm all. Lie about that, too. Just send random kids. I'm telling you, you can lie to the grandparents.

Get a Cabbage Patch Baby and send her a picture of that and just say, I just got this. Yeah. It might be acceptable, actually. Yeah. I would say I couldn't agree more. I don't understand why gay people have to come out. You don't have to come out. It's like straight people don't have to declare that they're they're straightness.

Yeah. And I think you've made up your mind. it sounds like you understand what's going on and that is just the first step in a series of steps that you're going to be taking you've made the biggest first one i totally agree about not coming out to your family it's not their business this is your life and this is your show you know you have to make yourself happy make yourself yeah this is dear tara you have to make yourself happy tara so i'm an indian i have i knew it was i'm saying it to indian it's my fault i said it to indian i'm from new york and my mom just says ta and people are all indian people say tata and i

knew i was gonna make that mistake and when i'm around indian people i say tata too so it's very confusing for all three of us the last thing i'll say and i know i know we have to move but the last thing i really want to say just from my heart is after listening to you and chelsea speak chelsea mentioned gratitude and i do want to just insert a little unicornness and say i know this is super hard and super difficult and probably really stressful but there's something really awesome about saying I spent so many years with this person who was awesome and now I get to explore a different part of myself and do the best of both worlds and live all parts of myself which a lot of people don't get to do so I think that's a really cool silver lining of you just like

living your truth I have a very close friend who I've known longer than my husband and I went and stayed with him and he had said just because the relationship is over doesn't mean it was bad he said you guys had such great time you know great times together think of the things that you did the things you grew together and those things that just helped develop your character he said it doesn't make make it bad and I was like you're right and it was so true like very invested yeah that's right and hold on to that because you're having an awakening of what you desire and that is also worth celebrating yeah to be in touch enough with your emotions to do something about it and to be in touch with your feelings so many people are not able to do that they'll go their

whole life and never do that right right right yeah the only thing i'd really do cruise on is reddit and i'll cruise on the like late bloomer lesbian forums and uh late bloomer lesbian by the way there's a there's a mass exodus of women leaving heterosexuality to be late bloomer lesbians late bloomer they're like so i'm 27 and i'm all okay yeah all right and they're like i'm 22. I'm all, I didn't know what late was then, but okay. And there are some people there who I just feel for because they straight up will say, I'm never going to come out. I just am going to live this life inside this body. And I, I couldn't like it. I there's, it wasn't like I was going to wait for your guys, your email and be like, well, I can't come out to my husband yet. Chelsea hasn't

told me what to do. Like it ate literally ate at my inside. And I just, I didn't tell anyone before i told him and he even said he said who have you told they said i literally haven't told anyone that's probably why it bottled up so much inside of me it eats inside of you for sure totally sending you all the love and light yeah yeah i'm proud of you already so proud of you you're gonna have a great time keep us supposed to check back in with the podcast okay i know we just met but you're my hero okay thanks same what a connection you guys bye bye tata she's so cute right it was Tara no I changed it I was hopping on your bandwagon okay don't throw me under the bus we've got some waters coming in right now oh my god where did you find them he really scrounged

them up finally if you guys don't edit this part of the podcast basically Chelsea has me in a dungeon chained up and she said I had no water they were like she said they got no water can I get some water and they're like we can we'll work on that they're like here's a microphone get to work start talking on the water it's like is there a well around well actually we're gonna need to work on the water because california is gonna have none in about 30 days yeah okay anyway on to the next caller what else we got katherine on to the next our next caller is jessica okay she is on the phone with us as well jessica says dear chelsea i'm having a hard time rebuilding trust in my relationship after my boyfriend proposed to me. I said no, and then he broke

up with me a week later. We got back together just a couple of days after, but now I feel like I can't trust what he says and his feelings toward me. I don't know what to make of anything and could really use some advice. 24 and genetically predisposed to divorce, Jessica. Okay. Hi, Jessica hi how are you guys oh we're good how are you doing I'm good yeah well except for what's going on yeah right yeah there's that okay so what happened so your boyfriend proposed to you after how many years together we've been together about two years and we've known each other for close to 10 so it's been a while we're both in our like mid-20s so it didn't really seem like the perfect time we also didn't even like live together or anything so he's kind of waiting on

that and then he totally obviously threw me for a loop when he broke up with me a little while later so okay but back up a little so he proposed to you and you said no on the spot like how did you tell him that how did you turn him down yeah it was pretty on the spot had you ever discussed getting married prior to this point yeah we've talked about like getting married and stuff like that a lot but mostly in like a hypothetical long ways away like when we move to mars we'll get married got it right exactly so that's gonna happen sooner than you think lily so be careful and he didn't have a ring either so i'm like he proposed without a ring yeah it was kind of like a heat of the moment like passion type of thing so yeah and but now you guys are back together

yeah and we've been together so wait so you said no how did you say it what did you say you're like this isn't right or yeah I mean I was just basically like no like let's think about this a little bit more like yeah before like moving forward with that but now I don't really know how to trust what he says he feels about me wait so you said no then he broke up with you and said what what was the reason for breaking up with you because you didn't want to marry him well no it actually didn't really have anything to do with that we were both like did somebody have a piece of paper and a pen i know i know it's so convoluted but um we had both just quit smoking at the time so emotions were high and coping skills were very low and we kind of kept bickering so it kind of

led to this like explosive moment of like i just can't do this anymore and then we took a couple days to cool off and he was like yeah i think that we just need to talk things through and work this out okay so was it a breakup or was it was it a let's take some time it was at the time it was a breakup which turned into was it a we were on a break or was it was it ross or was it not well he he said you know like this is it like i don't want to talk to you anymore only to call me in like a few days what a mistake you know i want to work this out okay well so then why do you feel like you can't trust him because considering like how he's giving me like all of the runarounds in the book like I'm gonna be with you forever I love you so

much all of this telling me everything I want to hear and at the same time not being able to communicate shutting down breaking up with me what am I supposed to make of that right I think you guys are I think you guys have been together for a long time and you're probably just you're just going through a little bit of a rough patch it sounds like you have a pretty good thing going with him and that your communication just needs to be a little bit maybe aided by a third party like a therapist I mean have you considered that going to therapy together yeah we both go to therapy individually but that's like totally something that I feel like would be really beneficial yeah I mean you've been together for over 10 years right all together we've known each

other for 10 years couples therapy is really really good especially if you pick the therapist and then you pay them on the side so they agree with everything you say yeah you have a side conversation with them from the get go. Right. It's always about winning over. Yeah, of course. But it's better to make them know going in since he's not on this call. Right. Going in like this is my objective. Yeah. I want to stay together. And listen, every couple has to grow. You know what I mean? And there's always going to be friction. If there's not friction, there's not growth. So you can trust him. You're creating a narrative. I think maybe you're reacting to something else. You're feeling a little unsafe. You know, he loves you. He wanted to marry you.

you quit smoking together you said no to getting married and you guys quit smoking together that shows me that you made two really responsible decisions knowing that you're too young to get married is great not acting in the heat of the moment is great and quitting smoking is great I mean you're smart you've got your shit together you guys just need a little bit of help to stay together I also think there's a little bit of as someone who was not there let me now share my opinion about what happened I think he had to have been a little bit hurt by getting the no and that was probably the reason for the bickering so you saying that like oh it had nothing to do with that maybe from your end but I can imagine from his end he probably felt some type of way about that

and that probably led to him bickering a little bit and being like I need some time he got rejected right yeah that's natural yeah and men don't like that they don't like that at all is he white yeah yeah I think so they really don't like that at all so yes so you have to be a little bit empathetic to that because you love him right yeah exactly exactly and i feel like we can you know make things work of course you can you can make anything that you want to work work especially if there's a willing party so and i think another important thing is like does he bring out the best in you does he make you happy yeah i yeah we probably should have asked that first actually does he make you happy and do you feel safe and do you feel the best version of yourself

yeah i feel like we both bring that out of each other so i feel like we have a really like perfect Yeah, a strong foundation and everything going. Yeah, I think you're going to be fine, Jessica. You sound like you just need a reminder that you're in a relationship with the right person. You guys have a good thing going and you just went through a little rough patch. What Lily said is absolutely astute and I'm sure accurate that he was feeling rejected and then had to reject you. That's what a lot of white men feel like they have to do. That's what a lot of people feel like they have to do.

Look at me using my psych degree. Oh, my God. I know. First time ever. She went to college. We just found out she had a psychology degree. so i mean yeah so it's gonna be called dear lily from now on and i'm just gonna be in the other room with katherine i'll tell you right now when brown people call the questions are gonna be a lot different okay your answers are gonna scare them anyway keep us posted and let us know but get a therapist okay yeah for sure thanks so much bye jessica thank you guys take care bye another problem solved yeah you're crushing it thank you i mean you didn't think you needed

your psych degree, but look at it flourishing before our eyes. It always catches me by surprise. Katherine, how did you feel about that? I felt great. I got married very young. I was 23 when Brad, the editor here, and I got married. And we really went through like two years of marriage counseling early in our marriage. And it taught us so much. It taught us how to argue. It taught us how to get along. It taught us good ground rules. And really, I think it set our marriage up even though we didn't do premarital counseling having that so early in our relationship like totally solidified where we are now we just celebrated our 16th anniversary wow 13th of marriage 16th of together so oh look at him knowing the ins and outs and intricacies of

the dating versus the marriage i think people always associate couples counseling or therapy with like they're falling apart so they but no it's like therapy's just good in general no matter what phase your relationship is in it's setting yourself up for success 100 because when you make an investment and you put in the time and effort it's like meditation or exercise it's like vitamin c yeah i gotta get that d girl oh did you say c i said c but sorry i thought okay anyway yeah so you're setting yourself up for success you're making the best investment into yourself so that's that's great advice katherine also like yeah i know that premarital counseling that has a religious undertone to me but you could also do that without having it have a religious undertone

because you know how i feel about religion anyway so what do we have going on now all right we have a very canadian email next and it is a little long but worth it that's how we roll she says dear chelsea seven years ago i met a man who was 23 years older than me we hit it off right away and quickly became barf to this term but friends with benefits we lived in different provinces we're Canadian and even though we met in Ontario where I'm from our relationship grew when I moved to Nova Scotia fast forward and we have been on and off for seven years my family does not approve at all because of the age gap but now I love him more than I could ever imagine loving a man we never yell or fight with each other we're so supportive of each other we have healthy social

lives outside of one another and most importantly we make each other so happy in 2018 he broke up with me, and I was devastated. Come to find out, the reason he broke up with me was because he knew that the reason my sister had cut me out of her life was because of my relationship with him. We secretly got back together at the end of 2019, then COVID hit. The Atlantic bubble made it impossible for us to see each other, so after 16 months apart, we finally got to see each other again. Just as we expected, we love each other more than ever, and now I'm faced with the reality that if my relationship can move any further, I have to talk to my family.

I'm sorry this was so long. I'm also Canadian, though, so I have a hard time not apologizing in general. How can I be with the man I love and stop my family from disowning me once again? Thank you in advance, eh, anonymous Canadian. Ay. Wow, that's a doozy.

I feel like... We need the whole story about why her family is so against him. Well, the age thing. But I need the story of, like, how old is she? Just so I make sure my advice is legal. Yeah, well, right, right, exactly. Well, she's, they probably started carrying on before she was, when she was a little bit younger. But this is complete speculation.

Yeah, it could be that she was 25. It could be. But I would say, regardless, if it stood the test of time, this relationship has taken, what, it's been over the course of four or five years? Yes, seven, seven years. Seven years is a long time. That's no fling. No. Yeah. And you've broken up. And the fact that he broke up with you because your family wasn't speaking to you is I like that. That's something good. That's that's really, really sweet and sad at the same time. And sad. But I mean, I know we're not getting the full picture about why your family doesn't like him. Obviously, the age difference would freak them out.

But at a certain point, I think it would be beneficial for you to sit down with your family and possibly with him so you guys can have an open, honest conversation about how you feel about him and that you have broken up and that you guys always find your way back to each other. And while the age difference may make them uncomfortable, this is your life. This makes you happy. And there's no reason for your family to cut you off because of your choices in a partner for 20, 23 years. yeah that's a big age difference but that's your choice you're an adult I'm assuming you're legal I feel like this whole thing is just me quoting my therapist I'm so sorry I'll give you a credit I'll pay you extra next time but I think there's certain I'm her therapist okay amazing I think there's certain rules what are the family rules and what are the anonymous Canadian rules you know

I think this is very similar to when people disown their kids for dating someone of the same sex whether the person's older the person doesn't have the career there's so many reasons why families decide I don't approve of that person. And so now I'm going to cut you off. You need to decide which of those rules you abide by and which you don't. If the person doesn't treat you well and your family cuts you up, I can understand that. If the person cheated on you and wasn't faithful to you, I could understand that. But you're here telling us that the person treats you amazing, makes you happy, understands you. Those are all rules that you should abide by. And I think that's where you have to decide like, no, the rule is that if I'm being treated right,

I will be with this person make every effort to make your family understand but you don't have to abide by the rules your family has about what they accept about the person right there's a distinction there and I'm also going to say family therapy as well family therapy goes a long way with getting people on the same page but I have a feeling that if you broke up with this person for your family it would eat you inside for a long time because you're not spending the rest of your life living with your sister you spend the rest of your life living with a partner right And so there's a big difference there. And as long as there's not like any abuse going on or any like drug use going on that is making your family feel unsafe.

If those are issues that are present in the relationship, then you have to be accountable for that and respect the fact that your family is worried about you in that way. But if those aren't issues, then, yeah, people waste so much time in life holding grudges or being angry at their own family members. And it's just such a waste of time. I mean, we're fucking here once, you know, no matter what you believe in. I mean, if you believe in reincarnation, maybe you think you're coming back, but not as the same person. So you've got to make it count and you've got to exhaust all efforts. But I agree, love can be stronger than family sometimes. And so we're saying that you should try to make it work with your family while you're with the guy.

And if they can't handle that, then, you know, that is their loss. Again, going back to if he treats you right and if there's no other factors there. But I think, yeah, it's not right for any family to say, oh, this makes my sister really happy, but I'm going to have a problem with it. That's something your sister needs to figure out, needs to work on. Yeah. Swing out, sister. Anyway, so keep us posted, Anonymous. Let us know. Let us know in Canadian. Hey, I love that you said provinces. Woo, woo, woo, Nova Scotia, present!

I love provinces. I'm so proud that you knew there were provinces. The majority of people I speak to here have no idea about anything outside of America. You know that I'm half Canadian. Oh, I'm announcing my Canadian tour dates. We just added second shows to Toronto, Vancouver, Seattle and Winnipeg because my Canadians love me and I love my Canadians. I am coming to two shows in Denver. First show sold out.

Second show, I believe there are tickets available. Chicago is sold out and there are tickets available for Columbus, Ohio on Saturday night. So get your tickets for that, everybody, for your Vaccinated and Horny Tour. So those are all on sale. So get your tickets, people. I'm coming all over Canada during ski season. All my aunties and uncles, go to Chelsea's, go to Chelsea's tour. They'll be like, oh my God, is this who corrupted Lily?

She went to America and look, now she's got a girlfriend. Oh, shit. Anyway, thank you for writing in. Thank you. Okay, we're going to take a quick ad break because I, yeah, yeah, I got to get that. We got to pay for that sample I did earlier. Got to get that. Oh, yeah, we got to pay for that.

Okay, okay. We're going to do an ad for something like BetterHelp. behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or come home at all and will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability.

Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.

every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,

the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much,

you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners.

Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head right how about we flip this around okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something

like that if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this state everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every

episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies

you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip. I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So Chelsea, one thing I wanted to say is I think we can actually give people advice on how to ask for advice from you. Oh, right, right. Because while we get lots of submissions, but we want you guys to be more specific in your submissions, right? Yes. And especially in your subject line, these are kind of the guidelines for the best way to get your email chosen for the show. Oh, this is good. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you tell us that because you're

reading the submissions and you do a lot of this work. So let's give everybody the tools they need. If you're thinking about writing into the show, if you have a problem, this is how you're going to get our attention. Yeah. So here's what I'm looking for. I'm looking for a really specific subject line. So rather than just saying advice from Chelsea, tell me what your advice that you need is about. Also being really specific in your email, tell us the situation briefly, but then tell us the question you'd actually like to have answered. So my boyfriend is no good in bed. How can we fix that is very different than my boyfriend is no good in bed. Should I leave him? So what's your real question? Make sure to include that toward the end. So which one did you prefer out

of that? My boyfriend is good in bed. Should I leave him? I mean, I think it depends on the boyfriend. Well, but I mean, for our callers, because I'm confused, which one is the better I think they're both valid. It's just, does she want to leave him or does she want to stick with him? Right, right, right. In a bedroom situation. Yeah. Subject lines should also be specific about what the advice is you're seeking, not advice from me.

Obviously, you're seeking advice from me if you're writing in. Right. So if it's about an affair, write affair. If it's about cheating, write cheating. If it's about family drama, write that. Right. Is that helpful to kind of, yeah. Exactly.

Light and fun is great. You don't have to be funny, but we really strive for authenticity. So if it's a light question and it's authentic to you, great. If it's something heavy and it's authentic, that's great, too. Yeah, we'll take light questions. I mean, I'm all for that, too. So it just seems like we take a lot of heavy ones. But I'm happy to talk about light problems, too, because that's a nice way to keep things light sometimes.

Yeah, and we can actually really help also. Yeah, actually. Also, make sure that you actually have a question. Yeah, sometimes some emails are just a place to vent, and this might not be the perfect place for that, but yeah. Sounds like you got some beef with some of our writers, some of our listeners, Katherine. I did get an email that was probably 30 pages long if I printed it out. So that one is not one we will be having time to read on the show, unfortunately. Yeah, so I would just say to that end, keep it relatively short, a paragraph or two.

Give us a taste of it. And if we want to know more, we'll reach out and we can have you on the show. You can also send a voice memo to DearChelseaProject at gmail.com. As long as it's about 30 seconds or less, that gives us a really nice amount of content to work with. And we might even play it on the show. Yeah, we love playing voice memos on the show. So that's how you can get picked. We have some topics that we are looking to cover this season.

We need more questions about or from non-binary people. We need to have more conversations about non-binary relationships with your families, with sexual partners, your experiences as non-binary people. I want to know more and I want to talk more and educate our audience more. So we want to talk more about open relationships. We always are looking for couples in open relationships or one partner in an open relationship who wants to discuss it is also great for us. We want to understand that and I want to discuss it. terrible bosses is something that I am very familiar with because I am one. But if you have experience with terrible bosses or you are a terrible boss or you have one, please also call

in. Things that your kids are doing to drive you nuts. So I can tell you, I told you so. I won't tell you that. Yeah. I mean, we really take questions, advice that you need on just about any topic. It can be baking questions. Oh, baking questions. Yeah. Bring those my way. I want to see how that goes. I personally am a terrible baker, so I don't know how much help I'm going to be on that. But you know what? We have friends coming to help and give us advice. Yeah. And pets. We're always open to talking about pets. That's important. Breast implant illness. That's a big topic. And we want more people to talk about it and call in about that because we want to talk about that. And parenting. We have specialists coming on to talk about parenting. So if you have

a pressing parenting question or if you've been struggling with something as a parent, This is the place to come. And that might be a great place for a couple to come together and say, hey, we're disagreeing on this specific choice to make as regards one of our children. So, you know, call in. Write in. Don't be shy. Write in to DearChelseaProject at gmail.com. Well, this was a delightful episode, Lilly Singh.

You say that to all of your guests. We have a good time every time we do something together. I do really enjoy it. It really doesn't matter how busy I was. I was going to do this because I love being with you. Oh, I love you. Thank you. I appreciate spending your time with us, and I appreciate your sound advice to everybody.

I try. I try my best. But who else is tapping into your psychology degree besides this podcast? I mean, are you giving out a lot of advice to people? Because you're not bad at it. Thanks. I think I help out my friends here and there, but honestly, mostly myself. I have a good way of working through my problems in my brain.

Well, I think you should just take that degree and sign it right over to me, because I've been wanting a degree for some time, and I'm acting like I have one. The best degree is life experience. Mm-hmm. Oh, put that on a shirt. That was really good. Don't, don't put that on a shirt. People say that all the time.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. So it's not original, Lily. Okay. That sounds something like, that sounds like something a Canadian would say. Okay. Well, here's the thing.

Am I allowed to ask you some advice? Oh yeah. Because, okay, here's the thing. I had a birthday recently. You know this. Okay. And I want this. Happy birthday, Lily.

Thank you so much. I want this advice specifically from you because when I think of Chelsea, I think of someone who's just so unapologetic, doesn't care about the rules, paves her own path and does what serves her best i try to be like that but every once in a while i have to think what would chelsea do so i turned 33 which i'm going to obviously say i feel so old you're going to be like shut the f up because you're you're probably older yeah you're giving me a look i'm not lily i'm 31 okay why are you laughing katherine what's funny is something funny nothing nothing go go on in this industry i know i i always preach aj nothing but a number you can do whatever you

want but in this industry I can't help but feel oh crap my career is gonna be over I'm now the old woman of color in this industry trying to make it like I read scripts now and they have a story about an old woman and she's 28 in the script and I'm like ah how do I get over this how how do I not care about this I really want to not care about it but how do I not care about this age thing as a woman in this industry first of all I think I started my first tv show or Chelsea lately when I was 33 32 so the age I am the age you're at is when I hit my big everyone knew about me so that was when I started so first of all you're a person of color you're fine people are going to be catering to you for a long time finally exactly exactly so just know that you

have an advantage fucking finally and we all are going through an evolution we're all doing things in our own time the only you know that kind of talk to yourself every time you have that thought to yourself you have to flip it and you have to go oh my god what am I going to do next it's just what you were talking about earlier about how you get into a job and you think that you're going to be doing that for the rest of your life whether it's late night whether it's your youtube whatever it is it's like you have a thirst for knowledge you have a thirst for you know entertainment you're never going to do anything else this is where you belong and I always tell myself that. It's like, what am I going to go do? Be an attorney? I mean, this is

what you do. And there's nothing wrong with aging. Aging is an attraction for so many people. You know, you're a role model. Like I'm 46. Listen, I've never looked better than I do now. I've never been happier than I am now. And that's 13 years away from where you are. So don't even fucking worry about age. And you know what? I know it's easier said than done. But every time you think about that you just have to think i'm just getting started damn you see that's that chelsea energy i needed i'm gonna bottle that up right here and take it home with put it in a special spot that's right amen sister you guys thank you thank you for listening you guys i'm really excited to see everybody on tour and we will be back next week with more shenanigans i guess also i just wanted

a subtle plug i hosted one of chelsea's tours and she's amazing on tour if you've never seen her you should definitely see her she's amazing i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor files with elizabeth smart on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts if your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality welcome home pro society is a weekly podcast that's part book club

part group chat for anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B.

I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you.

Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our hometown is not a test tube. 90 miles northeast of Nashville, a battle for the future of America plays out in one small town. Developers with right-wing ties have purchased hundreds of acres of land. We need cities on a shining hill. This is Our Town, a podcast about what happens when a small town becomes the site of a social experiment and fights back. Guess you didn't move in on a bunch of dumb hillbillies now, did you? Listen to Our Town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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