Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - A Big REDdit Flag with Neal Brennan

Episode Date: May 9, 2024

Neal Brennan joins Chelsea to talk about resetting his brain with Ayahuasca and 5-MeO-DMT, whether or not all comedians are clinically depressed, and what it’s like to be the friend of the funny guy.  Then: A girlfriend finds some disturbing threads saved on her boyfriend’s computer.  A 90-day fiance situation gets rocky when a work-wife enters the chat. And a Gen-Z caller can’t stop her flings from falling in love with her, even though she’s just trying to get laid.   *  Check out Blocks with Neal Breannan * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff.

They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, this is Chelsea Handjob calling.

Hi, Chelsea, this is Catherine. Where's Doug today? Doug took a big shadooby on the carpet at my new house, the carpet that I haven't even used yet, really. So he peed on it the other day, but today when I, this is actually a victory story, because I walked out of the house and then Doug was so upset,

he went and shadoobied on the rug right as Ann Mabelle was yelling at him to stop and he continued and then lifted his leg up and peed looking at her in the eyes. Oh my God. It is a complete reversal of fortunes from when I had Bert. This is going great.

I fucking love Doug. Doug loves me. He wants to be with me. He gets upset when I leave. Everything is working out perfectly. I just announced a bunch of dates for my standup. So first of all, there are still tickets left

for the Netflix is a Joke Festival Saturday night on May 11th. I will be there at the YouTube Theater. So there are still tickets for that. And then I'm going to New Zealand and Australia. So you can find your tickets for that. And then I'm going to Hawaii. I have two shows in Hawaii on July 19th and July 20th, Maui and Oahu.

And then I added 22 more dates. I have the Santa Barbara Bowl. I added 22 more cities. So there's Saratoga, California, Portland, Maine, Connecticut, South Carolina, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Kansas City, Philadelphia, Dallas, Austin, Montclair, New Jersey. I will be taping my specials, San Diego, New Orleans, Atlanta, all the places. I'm going. I have one date in Hollywood, Florida. One show in Hollywood, Florida.

If you want to see me in Florida, that's your opportunity. It's July 28th. Okay, well, those are all my dates, guys. Excellent. Well, Chelsea, we have an exciting guest today. Oh, I know. He's a straight white male, guys. So you know that he's okay.

He better behave himself, actually. Otherwise, he's going to go to jail. We love to prioritize straight white males on the show. We don't have a lot of straight white male guests on the show, but sometimes we do. And today is one of those days. There are some kind of tricky questions for him. Oh, good. Perfect. I like to put a straight man on the hot seat. Please welcome Neil Brennan.

Hi, Neil Brennan. What's up, motherfucker? Hi. First of all, congrats on your latest special. How many specials have you had? I've had three and a half. I had to do a half hour for some reason. after my first it was it was stupid for three and a half hours you had to do half hours oh that's degrading but i already done and it was stupid neil brennan has a new special on netflix called crazy good it just came out it's fucking funny katherine and i both watched it neil brennan is one of the funniest comics out there so if you're not familiar with him you should he's drinking a

bottle of mountain spring flat water from what i can tell sparkling sparkling thank you oh the red one is okay all right that's better that's at least better thank you and he also has a podcast called blocks which rhymes with well cocks it rhymes with but neil i didn't realize how much you struggled with depression your whole life really you couldn't just tell well i think you know what all male comics strike me not all i shouldn't say all but most male comics strike me as slightly depressed so it becomes part of the package you know like being around comics i mean i think most comics are slightly depressed it's not even just men i'm curious as to what your estimation of female comics is because i i think i kind of agree with you about males but i'm

wondering i'm like how would i categorize female comic is it like people pleasing or something no i think i mean i'm thinking right now about probably a lot of people we have in common and a couple of the girls have light depression but generally as an overall sentiment i don't find female comics depressed in the way that i do find male comics depressed i agree but i'm wondering what would you how would you categorize them anxious maybe anxious i don't want to say people pleaser because i find most comics are actually female comics these days are not people pleasers they're more like fuck off like we've been through enough so just everyone could go fuck themselves is that that's more of an overarching theme and attitude among women

so I don't know what the drive for women is it's an interesting yeah is it like maybe like frustrate anger like generalized anger and frustration about the way society is set up and the way yeah the sexism of nature I'm now thinking about how sexist nature is just with like periods but just all the stuff you guys have to go through that we kind of don't it would make me insane if I had to do it yeah women do have to deal with a lot of bullshit but you're also so inured to it that it becomes like a period having to like constantly prove yourself or that a woman is funny or that a woman is successful I think the thing that irks women the most is the lack of respect that we get from men and especially male comics to female comics

there's that dynamic for sure like I was at an event recently and I was watching a very famous comedian do her thing and I was watching the male comedians watch her and they had no respect for her well what's funny is I have like uh I was gonna start by saying how much respect I have for you because it's you know when you like first hear about somebody and I'd heard you'd written a book it was like 07 08 I'd heard you written a book and that the book was selling well and then i saw you crush and then you then you're on e crushing for 10 years or whatever and just like you just crush and you you're a huge draw and you have millions of fans like i feel like i've seen them i went and saw you at comedy magic just i think just you one time like i'm an ally is what

i'm trying to say he's like i don't want to argue with you no let me preface this myself but i don't even but i agree with you like i i i agree with you that it is like because i feel like in some ways everybody feels like an underdog i think everybody in showbiz feels like an underdog i feel like i was for a long time like dave's plus one david chapelle's plus one like we were at the show together and then i was like pretending to do stand-up and then slowly but surely it was like oh oh so I feel like I was able to earn not like I earned it as if I was a woman but I earned this in a different way than everybody has to earn it but I feel like mine took a long time and it was sort of public in a weird way so but I also think earning things sometimes it takes

longer you're not the the front and center person you're kind of having an attachment to somebody else, which kind of catapults you into the spotlight in a different way, can feel not like what you want at the beginning. But when you have achieved the success that you've had and earning it feels right, doesn't it? Like working that hard and hustling that hard feels good. Yeah, because you look back on the things that you were like, I should have gotten that. And then you it's like, I didn't realize how good I would have to be before people go,

OK, fine. yeah like i was like i how hard do you need me to throw the ball and they were just like harder we don't know why right what would harder and i'd be like all right here and then they'd be like okay you're good but it took so from my point of view mind-bendingly long to get there so yeah but you're right it is more satisfying than i never felt like i was grandfathered in but everybody else felt like i was grandfathered it's like i wrote the jokes and directed the sketches like you know what I mean like it wasn't like everybody thought I didn't do anything so it was it's nice to go like okay here I am see this by myself ta-da and people go finally like okay

you're funny yes I can relate to what you're saying a great deal because I also find out like even when you are successful which I've been successful for so many years since I was you know in my probably late 20s early 30s and there were periods in my life where I had to prove and reprove the same shit I had already been successful at and you're like oh my god are you fucking kidding me like I remember taking a break from stand-up for six years after my Chelsea Lately show I just was so burned out on every level I'm like I'm not doing stand-up I can't do this anymore I have nothing to say and then when I went back to it six years later like I understood okay you're not going to be playing arenas or what you were playing before you have to rebuild that

but even my agents were like what are you going to do I'm like I'm going to do stand-up that's how I started and they're like but what's it gonna be what's it gonna be about we don't get the show i'm like what what and then i finally just had to ignore them and literally put my head down and go okay i'll fucking show them what i'm gonna do and i ended up selling that you know special to hbo max when i came back on the scene and comedy which was like three specials ago but it was very frustrating to have to reprove the reason why you became successful in the first place yeah it's embarrassing but the good news is i think it kind of happens to everybody yeah i really do like i think every i think even i won't name guys but we're like i don't know i think it's maybe it's

worse for women but i think it's certainly exists for guys and it's a terrible business for everyone involved i didn't realize you went to catholic school i thought neil i thought you were a jew I know. Well, the thing I say is I'm not Jewish. I just have allergies. And you look a little Jewish. No, of course. I'm a Jew.

So I know a Jew when I see one. You seem like one. Apparently, I have some of the features and the good joke writing. So, yeah, but I went to Catholic school for 12 years. Yeah, well, that'll fuck anybody up. But I was really, really curious to learn about all of the shit that you've had to try to help your depression. And I want to talk about all of this stuff and what your reactions to all of this. tms hgh gave you panic attacks ketamine ayahuasca and dmt and then you flew to china to do intense

tms so yes i don't this was not just this sounds like i was just spinning a wheel and be like fuck it um tms again it was a progression from just the basic therapy medication kind of hit a wall I had Zoloft help for about 10 years, kind of hit a wall, and then heard about TMS. Well, wait, let's define what TMS is. Can you tell us what it is? Okay, yes, I will. TMS is called transcranial magnetic stimulation. It is a, basically, it's kind of an MRI plate or helmet, like sort of wand that they kind

of put over your a part of your head and then they fire an mri beam and it's like sound it feels like a low energy woodpecker and it doesn't feel bad but you're just kind of like this is odd and it works for people and it worked for me and what is it supposed to do it's designed to stimulate something it activates the electricity of brain cells is my understanding i could be miss i could be completely misinformed yes i know the word stimulation is in the title so let's say it stimulates some neurons to get back to work so to speak and what why did you go to china for this well okay so i did tms probably 10 years ago in west la it i think it was about 40 sessions it's like three days four days a week and it's half hour you just sit there watch tv and then that

it worked for a while and then i just after maybe six years i felt like i needed a tune up now concurrently there was a guy booking a show in shanghai that theo vaughn had done so i was like i'll do a show in shanghai the guy who runs the show has a brother that's a neurosurgeon in china has a better unregulated tms while you're here do you want to do it i was like i only want to do it I don't even care about the show in China. It was basically like five weeks of TMS in one week because it's a free for all. Worked pretty good. And then the TMS, I think you mean it worked pretty well. So the TMS really, is it like a mood lifter? It's none of it's like a mood lifter. It's not, nothing's like cocaine-y or like, you know, MDMA-ish where it's like boing. It's more

just like the floor comes up a little bit, you know what I mean? In your mood. And that's how what I found with all this stuff Zoloft was big what about the ketamine well ketamine I didn't like it see I've had like part twos with all these things first time I did ketamine was like nine years ago didn't work didn't like it found the experience of it sort of like a goofy drug experience no long-term positive effects and then the big one for me was ayahuasca oh which you did once right yeah twice in two in two days I didn't so you're right so yeah so in 2020 somebody sent me an article about ayahuasca and they're like we got to do this I then get a hookup we do it and it was like good it was like oh this is good in a way I can't really it was it felt like sort

of connected you know and in order to do it you have to go off Zoloft so I'd gone off Zoloft and was doing it and then i did it again and i basically on my third time i like woke up and i was like oh i'm in the uh presence of god i believe right now i was an atheist before that so i was like oh i have now i have a spiritual connection and i just felt different like i felt like the neurons in my brain had sort of been updated or changed in some way and then i haven't going back on Zola oh well that's a huge success story then and how long ago was that four years ago wow I fucking love that story where did you do that in LA yeah near six flags thanks for asking perfect I love six flags what a safe environment for what a wonderful the screaming yeah so so

that was that's been great and then I did five MEO DMT I did that too and I ended up naked because I had to rip my clothes off. That's how bad I was. It was the worst experience I've ever had with the drug was 5-D-M-E-O-T. I had a different experience where I just had the basic, you inhale, if we could explain it, it's basically a toad secretion that they dry and they scrape it, put it in a pipe and you smoke it and you go to, where did you go? When you inhaled, where did you go great question I went to the darkest place I'm a positive upbeat typically upbeat person I'm a pragmatist I don't really get upset I mean I get upset but I don't get depressed I don't I don't struggle with what we're talking about that was the darkest I've ever felt in my life

I didn't prepare for it you know like I didn't cleanse I kind of did it off the cuff somebody was doing it I'm like I'll try that so that was stupid too but I've never met a drug I didn't get along with great. So I was like, yeah, let's go face first. And it was miserable. It was dark and it was death. It felt like death. Like I was excited. I was told it was an ego killer, you know? And I love that. I love the idea of not having your ego in theory in the mix. Well, yeah, I would like to get rid of it permanently. I mean, I'm sure I wouldn't be in this business, but I'd have to do something else. But yes, it felt so ominous. The whole thing was just so dark and I couldn't, I said, please make this stop, make it stop, make it stop. And five minutes later,

I was covered in my own sweat, in my bra and underwear, sitting with some naked woman who was comforting me. I mean, the woman who administered or helped me smoke it, who was comforting me. And I was like, this was awful. And I don't ever need to do this again. So tell me about your experience. Well, Chelsea, I went to what another person described, Michael Pollan, who wrote a book called How to Change Your Mind.

He described smoking DMT and he went to the same place that I went to, which is before the big bang. Insane. It was insane. I told somebody I was aiming for God and I missed my stop. I went past everything. But it lasts about 35 minutes. I was in a white void. I didn't know what breathing was. I didn't know what direction left, right, up. I didn't have any sense of anything. And the ego death thing I've never experienced because I was some version of myself, meaning like I was some, I had a point of view and my point of view was I have no idea what's happening. And I felt like I was feeling my, my first neuron form. Like I felt like the original person of human life, not a person. We're millions away. Caveman. Not even on your feet.

further we're talking about molecule i was a molecule okay okay wow wow yes it was wild and then slowly but surely my sort of human consciousness came back into me over about 35 minutes to the point where like pettiness would come back in and i was like no we're not doing that anymore like i was trying to like rebuild so it was like you know i inhaled at eight i was walking home at nine, I was in New York. And that was fine, right? A week later, I have what's called a reactivation, like a flashback. So now, it was it was a Sunday in New York, I went and met a woman for coffee. And I was on a coffee date. And half of me was before the Big Bang, like visually, and I had the two or three most harrowing days of my life. I didn't know. At one

when i go am i in god's imagination just shit you're not supposed to think at all but i i got a half a percent better every day and after about eight months i was a better version of myself than i've ever been wow that's a good that's a positive story i know but it's scary scary also and talk about earning it. Like I got the, I got the transformation, but like I had to work for every inch of it. Sounds like it. Did you feel like you had your ego with ayahuasca? That feels like an ego killer as well. I don't, the thing about the ego, seeing this as ego or not, I think my experiences were, it's always going to be from my point of view. I've never had an experience where it wasn't a first person, whether I'm a molecule

or I don't think that I don't think that's what I mean by saying if like it can still be your perspective but you are like I remember ayahuasca it was like I was I was the spirit of me rather than the physical me you know the spirit of me looking at the spirit of my sister looking at the spirit of the situation looking at everything from above and I'm I'm me but I'm not attached to me and my ego I'm attached to the natural good outcome of the situation yeah I would I would say that the thing that I've gotten from it is my values are sort of better overall, like my ethics or like what I crave. There's more to the story also. So then, so that's like 2021, right? Then this year, they're about the last calendar year, 2023, 2024. I've done MDMA every maybe three

months in like a not party setting. And, uh, I've gotten so much from it. It's the best, like real growth. I think like real recategorization of like how I am in my, in my essence, kind of like, it's really awesome. The clearest example I can give is like, there was one maybe last august where i did it and i was able to forgive all my many enemies chelsea i'm irish catholic you know we hold a garage and a little jewish with a jewish rising and and we and i was able to forgive all my enemies and and then the next day i was like why was I so able to do that? I'm like, I love holding a grudge. And I realized because I finally had some oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin in my brain instead of just cortisol and adrenaline

all day. And I realized like, oh, I need to stop paying attention to the cortisol. Like what I think is my personality is basically just me going like cortisol, cortisol, cortisol, cortisol, all and and ignoring that sort of part of my brain that writes that and just going like you're out of your mind and i've been able to kind of do it it was a thing i couldn't i had no mastery over whatsoever and now i actually have some and i legitimately believe it's because of the ayahuasca dmt and yeah no all those drugs are good things you know i think everyone's realizing that now especially are you sober uh like basically like i i couldn't tell you the last time i had a drink i i but i don't it's not like a thing right you're not interested okay so are

you do you think you're good at giving advice neil i love it whether it's good or not it's a whole other that's exactly what we're going to find out we're going to find that out today i'm a know-it-alls know-it-all perfect okay so we are going to take a break and we're going to be right back. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.

I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve

the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your

podcasts see you between the pages hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook on the big money players network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this how about we flip it on its head how about we flip the script

what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show

I would never expect I would never set expectations for something like that to happen if the universe allows for something like that to happen I am open to it. I'm always going to accept. You know, Danny McBride, fine.

Yeah, it's all this fragile masculinity exuding. I could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you. I was like, is that weed? Nope, it's fragile masculinity. Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times, out of context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is. You know what I mean?

Like, they're like, oh, what's a circle? Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake. Right, fake. And also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show

and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. if you need advice from chelsea write into dear chelsea podcast at gmail.com you can ask about

your biggest dating conundrums the cheating scandal that's rocking your friend group the funniest marital disagreements you need chelsea to weigh in on or anything else that's dear chelsea podcast at gmail.com and we're back we are back are you ready to launch i'm ready Neil's ready, I'm fucking ready, you're ready, ayahuasca's ready, 5-D-M-A-T. We should do an episode where we're all on MDMA. That sounds amazing. Well, our first question comes from Katie, and she's in New York. My boyfriend and I have been together for about three years, and I've always been really—

Stop right there. He is like three or four years older than her, but I've always been really frank with him that I'm not okay with him using porn. I think it's super demeaning and generally ruins your sex life. I thought catching him in the act with porn would be the worst thing that could happen. Turns out I was wrong. While using his computer to do some research for work, I stumbled across some Reddit threads he had bookmarked. I promise I wasn't snooping, Chelsea. The trail led me to threads about a certain barely legal teenage actress who starred in, let's say, a popular Netflix show starring children.

the thread showed all kinds of red carpet and paparazzi photos of the actress who had been a mere child in the show we'd just watched in compromising photos think close-ups on camel toe wardrobe malfunctions at the beach etc just a woman living her life being taken advantage of and my boyfriend was googling it the whole thing felt very non-consensual i was disgusted even though the pictures generally seem to be on the recent end of things so she would be legal but who's to tell. My problem is I'm absolutely sure he's the one. Does this mean he's sexually attracted to kids? Yes. Should I be scared? Yes, it does. We're going to talk to Neil in a second about it, but I'm pretty sure it does. Yeah. Should I be scared to bring him around my teenage

nieces? Will he be attracted to me as I age? Most importantly, is this a deal breaker? Katie. Let's talk about poor Neil. You're a straight male. Tell us what the deal is. I think, well, I have a lot of thoughts about it. One of them is guys don't realize that it's science fiction. It's not real. It's as real as, the best analogy is, it's as real as Fast and Furious is to driving. it's like yeah you're not driving off of buildings onto aircraft carriers it's stupid most porn is just dumb and cartoonish and women just are not like that like occasionally i think women are a little bit like that like sporty like let that ah whatever but i think most women sexually want a connection yeah okay so we've got the porn figured out sort of but what do you have to say about younger because this is important and she used the word non-consensual because it's

sort of like creepy pictures taken while this woman was not aware they were being taken but that's yes but she's a public person so she's going to get pictures taken of her but the other thing is younger women okay neil let's talk about men and younger women what are your thoughts on this guy looking at pictures of a girl that's hardly legal and what does that make you think about him i've never had a predilection for younger i always dated older women whatever again i'm an ally and there's nothing that's right and there's nothing we can do about it No, there's not. I love menopause and I always will. So I think it's some of it's kind of gross. If you get into like peak human fertility, if you go deeper and deeper and deeper, it's like

a guy were attracted to fertility and women are attracted to guys with big shoulders and jaws and foreheads and providers and all that stuff. If you get into the reality of it, it's pretty gross, right so but obviously there are laws for a reason because you're praying basically yes it's obviously gross and like troubling but i also understand it from an evolutionary thing yeah i know what you're saying i just think like i don't know there's a lot of guys out there that wouldn't be interested in looking at a girl that age do you know what i mean there are men that are more mature than that that that are like that doesn't turn me on because they know enough now to understand that a woman at that age is not mature enough to understand you're not on a level

even playing field I don't care if anybody watches porn whatever whatever floats your boat but when you're talking about younger girls and and you has a reddit thing and he's following like what looking at pictures of her camel toe like all of that is just so gross it's creepy it's all creepy it's off limits like there's a power dynamic and it's also you're creeping like well creeping on anyone is icky it's the creeping like it's the close-up like i don't want to look at a picture of someone's camel toe on the beach yes so when she's saying this is the one it's like is it is it the one because it sounds like you already believe that so nothing i'm gonna say is gonna change your mind but i would say ew he sounds gross yes i totally agree you're an ally so of

course i mean i'm an ally so you know what i'm gonna say guys but i i think in some ways most guys sexual predilections are gross just by by the fact that it's coming from a guy yeah it's gonna be it's a mcdonald's you can cook a kobe beef on it it's still mcdonald's still gross so you know it's like what should a guy like and then what you'll describe as something akin to you you know know what I mean? Like a woman who's been successful and did whatever, like a professional did it because I think because I'm sure there are things or types of guys you like that you're not that proud of, or it's not the greatest thing you've ever liked or sexual scenarios that you're like, I wish I didn't like that, but I do. And it's porn is sort of a safe way to act out.

Let me ask you a question from a male perspective. If you had a girlfriend and you found her doing what this woman is describing, she found, say she was looking at pictures of some underage actor. Who's a good underage actor? I want to say Timothee Chalamet, but I think he's of age. Well, Fenn Wolfhard was one with all these like 50 year old moms were like getting tattoos of his face when he was 11 being like, he's so hot. Like if you found your girlfriend looking at pictures of a young celebrity that was not 18 years old, how would you react and how would that make you feel? This is like that movie where Matthew McConaughey gives a big speech in court at the end and changes the whole point of like what a time to kill that was a time to kill

it was a time to kill i would think she's uh a little bananas in a bad way like i wouldn't if i if i saw a guy looking at a young girl like that i would be done i'm not interested in that i don't like that no if i knew what yeah yeah you're you're once i'm like yep if i if i was dating a woman who liked looking at underage dick prints, I'd be like, you know what? I think we've done everything we can here. Yeah. It feels like a deal breaker. What's her name? Katie. Katie. I'm sorry. I know you think this is the one and you probably will marry him and you won't listen to me. But I would say, honestly, that's a big red flag, a big red Reddit flag. Does this mean he's into kids? Maybe not. But do you want to be the one to find out? Oh, exactly. It's like there are

So many people in the world. Everyone needs to stop talking about the one. There are millions of ones. Just find someone else. It's not that hard. Find a better one. And when you find a better one, you're like, I have a great one. And I'm like, I'm so glad I waited.

Yeah, that's true. Once you find, you're like, oh, yeah, I knew that I could get like a suit that fit better. You know what I mean? That's so profound, Neil. You're like a prophet. You're like an ally prophet. I do a lot of things, guys. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple.

Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.

I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts see you between the pages hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook on the big money players network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to

help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this how about we flip it on its head how about we flip the script what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting

weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show I would never expect I would never set expectations for something like that to happen

if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake.

Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our next question comes from Dylan. She writes, Dear Chelsea, I met my husband in September 2021 and married him six months later. Super quick, I know. I was single for eight years prior to meeting him, and I knew that he was here on a student visa to get his master's, but I didn't know the deadline was quickly approaching. At that point, he offered me three options. One, we could continue dating while he married another woman

strictly as a platonic business agreement. Two, we could break up so he could pursue another woman who was ready to get married on the spot. Three, we could marry each other. I was so new to being back in the dating world and had really strong feelings for him, and I couldn't imagine losing him at that point. I decided to say fuck it

and went on to have a courthouse marriage. I continuously question if I made the right decision. I know he's in love with me, but I'm not sure if he's just using me for citizenship. One thing is, he works a remote job. He was introduced virtually to a female co-worker who soon left the company. They've kept in touch for over a year now. They text almost every day and have scheduled calls that last over an hour. Sometimes these include video chats.

She cries to him about her work troubles and personal life and even sends postcards from the different states she visits. Postcards? What year are we living in? I'm never privy to these calls. he secludes himself in the room with the door closed. I didn't honestly care about this weird friendship until we recently had a pretty big fight. When we made up, he let it slip that he had planned on visiting her if we were actually to separate.

This set off alarm bells for me. Should I have voiced my opinion about their friendship or am I being dramatic? Dylan. Hi, Dylan. Hi, guys. This is Neil Brennan. He's our special guest today.

Hey, Neil. Good to meet you. You as well. We wanted you to have advice from a straight male and straight females. Oh, okay. This is new. Honestly, that really sucks. And I would probably, I think that something probably is happening that you don't know about.

And leading to that, like, it's all very shady and it's pretty obvious. Like, you shouldn't, nobody carries on those relationships with people unless there aren't, like, emotional feelings. You know what I mean? This isn't some friend he's had since childhood. This is a woman he met at his job who he's carving out special time to have video chats with her. Like, he clearly has feelings for her. Or, like, she's a backup, you know? Yeah.

Neil, what do you have to say? I would agree wholeheartedly. Like, I, again, not to be the bearer of bad news, but there's no point in who's got that much bandwidth for, like, a romantic relationship and then, like, a platonic plus relationship. Also, that, like, work-wife thing, it's, like, when people started saying work,

I'm like, this is the person you're going to fuck when you guys break up it's not your work well it's like you're you're miss it's your open miss you're my future mistress so it'll be hard but i think you have to accept the fact that it might not be what you want it to be okay have the two of them ever met in person or is it has been strictly virtual the whole time just virtual okay it's just weird and it's also like your your alarm bells were already going off and then you had a fight and he kind of delivered the information that should be the end of the relationship like he was gonna go visit her if you guys didn't get back together that's kind of your answer the relationship with the work wife

or the relationship with Dylan the relationship with the work wife like he was gonna go visit that girl right yeah told you that when you guys got in this fight so like that's your answer and I feel like I think the one the biggest disservice women do to ourselves is not listening to the warnings you know don't let him talk you into whatever it's his behavior it demonstrates it all by itself you don't need to have any conversations around it his behavior scheduling calls scheduling zooms or facetimes or whatever they're up to it's all just that's all the information you need and it does suck but I think you don't want to ever learn this lesson again right right so if you can just get out of this relationship do you feel like you have that like

you're ready to get out of this relationship um not at the moment it's not really a good time for that just like personally between the two of us we just signed a new lease on a house so we're moving again and it's a two-year lease so I don't know if I should go to him with like a compromise because I don't really have guy friends with that type of relationship or if I should just say like hey like this just needs to end period there's nothing I need to do to make this better I'm just going to say even if you signed a year at least a two-year lease with him yes you can give him an ultimatum but i'm sure that he's going to continue talking to her behind your back that's what i would predict will happen and i would also say and i know i don't know what kind of financial

position you're in but i would say the fact that you signed a lease with him for two years does not mean you can't break up with him okay you have to figure out a way like to say listen i don't trust this situation i want you to be done with this woman if he says yes fine no problem fine and you want to give it a chance, go. I would say, just get out of the situation. Don't waste another two years of your life with somebody like this. I just-

Yeah, you may have to buy your freedom, but it'll be worth it. Yeah, and I know that doesn't sound good, but it will be worth it. I would hate to see you waste another two years of your life with somebody that is like that. Yeah, there's no, I think a thing that a lot of people do is talk yourself out of what you know.

I mean, like, no, and also I want to be relationships are hard work they're not that hard you know what i mean like they're not they don't require that much grace and and generosity on your part like this is so far beyond the pale to me i'm with what chelsea said which is like try to get out of it yeah i'm sorry i hate to give you that kind of answer you know we all do because it sucks but you decide what your value is like we all kind of decide what we're going to tolerate and what we're not and i really think this is a moment in your life where you have to decide what what are you worth to yourself okay yeah all right i'm planning to do yeah and i and try not to let the financial aspect of making a commitment

he can find another roommate or find another right go get that girl to move in whatever i want you to free up and go meet the person you're really supposed to be with okay yeah you can lose a security deposit you can make that money again but you can't get that time back okay yeah and yeah show yourself some respect yeah thanks guys sending you a lot of love honey all right i appreciate it yeah thanks dylan nice to meet you bye we've had some bad news on this podcast today it's not usually like this show this is i mean it's like dr phil but not really breaking people up well hopefully we can help maria she's just trying to get late so oh i wouldn't i wouldn't bet on it well i see well neil you're single you can have sex with her if she needs somebody to

have sex with her i'm not single i have a lady oh oh shit i said that i have a i have a lady now and it fits it's like a custom made it's awesome oh that's so nice that she's not a comedian no is this the one you went on the coffee date with and went into another no no no this woman's actually a therapist it's all great it's his therapist actually by a therapist i mean my therapist yes and it was actually my couple's therapist with my act i'm kidding i kid i kid it's like johnny depp and his divorce attorney what a beautiful romance well maria is 23 so she's too young anyway oh yeah you're not allowed to talk to her she's 23 i should go so she says dear chelsea my name is maria and i'm a 23 year old woman and i've lately been having

issues navigating relationships a lot of my close friends and family are the old ball and chain type and after seeing that shit no thanks i also grew up going to catholic school so casual sex and dating was never really an option however since i've moved to chicago i've realized that i just want to be alone with myself and my dogs drew barrymore and potato plus i just realized i'm a lesbian after getting out of a three-year relationship. Shout out to Renee Rapp for that revelation. So I feel like I have a lot of scissoring to catch up on. This took a lot out of me and made me realize at this point I just want sex and attention. I'm talking freer than a public restroom and I honestly don't know how to go about that. I flirt with men for attention

and I've been super open with them about that, but it always ends with them buying me gifts and becoming possessive. And then with women, we'll sleep together and then they get emotionally invested and social media stalked me. One even put an air tag on my car. So my question is, how do I set those boundaries and tell people I don't want to be with them in that way? Maria. Hi, Maria. Hi. This is our special guest, Neil Brennan today. Hi, Maria. Hey. Well, good for you for having so many options. I envy that. Thanks. I think that all these dating sites, you know, you can make it very clear on Tinder, on Hinge, on all these things, all these platforms that you're not looking for anything serious and that you are looking for

casual fun encounters and people appreciate that honesty and you're going to find people that are also looking for the same thing just like front load that information you know what i mean put that up front and center because some people are also they don't want to deal with the relationship aspect they feel the same way you do so it's kind of like a shortcut to meeting those but i would just say to put your profile up on all of those things because that's what tinder tinder especially is for sex i mean i feel like it right it's not for dating yeah and all these platforms are for sex so it's i mean it's not a real problem i don't think okay okay maria i have a question as a man you said you're flirting with men for attention and then are you taking all the all the sexual

energy and bringing it to women and then having sex with them or are you do you sleep with the men sometimes i sleep with the guys sometimes i like your style and then they get what if they were 19 chelsea would you like her style then if they were 19 because they're legal they're 19 23 you don't know anything about allyship at all i'm a bad ally i just remembered i directed half of the first season of amy schumer so that again put another chip on the ally if i'm ever in trouble so okay so and the guys are getting you tell the guys that it's you like to keep it sexual and they're getting attached also yeah that's only because yeah men are so because you're saying that yes exactly and they know that if you said i can't wait to see you

again you would never see them again exactly that's actually a great tactic you should just completely switch tactics and say you're looking for a relationship and you will get the the opposite response yeah and be like whoops i slept with you yeah and go oh my god i fucked you i accidentally fucked you and if you don't want to see that person again after you fuck them say i love you yeah i cannot that's true say it during sex say it during sex and you will never ever see that person again make eye contact this is for the men only and i don't know what goes on in lesbian circles like i only i mean i only have lesbian friends i've never been operated in a lesbian relationship so but yes i i would say throw actually throw out everything i said and

go with what neil said and just say you're looking for love and then you won't have any problems okay okay well yeah do lesbian i mean i feel like lesbians would be like i may they might say i also love i i'm getting to love you what am i wrong am i stereotyping no i think you're yeah i love that line i'm gonna use that line i'm getting to love you too that's what i'm gonna say the next time someone's trending toward loving you i'm training in that direction i'm not there yet they got into it i wonder how you could handle it with lesbians if you said i'm not interested would they take you would they would they take your word for it are they taking your word for it now no they they take it as a challenge they're like okay so like what do

i have to do to make you like me again like why did it stop how annoying it's just like you're just trying to have some casual sex yeah literally i think we have a good plan for the guys i don't i feel unqualified to give you directions for lesbians i feel like you gotta like bang them and block them like you gotta or be like hey your friend's really cute can you introduce me to her Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Be kind of a douchebag. Yeah, if you're a dick. Yeah.

That makes sense. Yeah. And if that doesn't work, fake your own death. Have you thought about faking your own death? Obviously. Like, who hasn't? Okay. Good luck, Maria.

Stay strong. And I'm so happy you're having so much sex. Good for you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Bye, Maria. Bye.

What city background was that? She's in Chicago. And Chicago is the best city to be young and queer in, especially for lesbians. It is the best. Is it? We have a whole neighborhood. Of lesbians? Of lesbians.

It's called Andersonville. Oh, it should be called Andersonville. You know what's funny is that you guys start reading the letter, and then I paint a picture of them in my head, and then you bring them on camera like halfway through the letter. It should be part of the show, like a game show. Like what do they look like? What do you think this person looks like? Yeah. And then they come up, and it's never what I – I'm 0 for 2 so far.

We have to take a break, Neil, on that thoughtful interaction that we just had. We have to take a break and we'll be right back. OK. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them

I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the Survivor Files I just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable I knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.

It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners.

Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman. Not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? how about we flip it on its head

how about we flip the script what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come

to visit the show I would never expect I would never set expectations for something like that to happen if the universe allows for something like that to happen i am open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is

that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake. Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show

and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. We are back. That was our break and we're back. Yes. We have a little quickie to wrap up with. Okay, great. The email is slightly long, but you know, the advice.

I have a question. I have a question about quickies real quick. When you say let's have a quickie, right? As a woman, let's have a quickie. do you expect that you'll have an orgasm or is it just to get the sexual energy an orgasm okay yeah by the way yeah we want to come yeah like five minutes or less like make it happen yeah yeah look i didn't love your tone didn't love either of your tone understood we'll do it better just we'll do better i have a very mercenary approach to sex which is like i go in

for you the partner to have an orgasm and then once you're all set then i go okay yeah now it's my turn that's perfect that's what most men should be doing yes you go in service your woman and then you can penetrate her yeah and that's not even the that's not even that well you're now you're saying is the penetration wouldn't give her an organ which as an ally i know that it often doesn't well i know from talking to people that you've had sex with that you are not what you're doing doesn't result in a lot of orgasms you that is not true that is i can't i'm thinking about the people she could have okay read the letter will you read the letter i was gonna say neil i was very pleased with your sex advice for guys also neil very very yes i actually was too you were

paying attention and you were really listening and that's a good quality in a man thank you i thought it was so it's great to hear it nikki says dear chelsea i've been dating my boyfriend for almost six years. We're in a very serious relationship, live together, and are in the midst of preparing to get engaged and build a life together.

The only problem is that he is a Republican and I am a Democrat. We both come from a very liberal metropolitan city, and when we first started dating, I was naive enough to think that everyone I knew

was naturally a Democrat. I remember during the midterms asking if he wanted to come with me to vote, and he said he didn't want to get caught in the rain. That's code for Republican. Yes.

Exactly. I know I was young, dumb and in love and I just didn't notice. We've had our ups and downs with politics and certainly had our growing pains and even broke up twice over it. So she goes on to say like he's generally really respectful with her and like respects her opinions. He actually wants to talk about things with her and she gets very sort of like upset with him and emotional. But she says other than that, he is a really wonderful, sweet person, extremely loving and generous. His friends are even very respectful with their Republican beliefs. and the only problem is I can't help but feel that I'm doing the world a disservice by being

with a Republican. Is he being the bigger person by accepting me and my views and I'm being closed-minded? Nikki. This is one of these things where it's like, if two women who I'm assuming are liberal or Democrats, right? What do you think when a guy's Republican, do you just assume that what assumptions do you make? Great question. I assume that they are cheap. I assume that They're not as open minded with the LGBTQ community. You know, they have their all opinions about anti-trans is a big one. And also what about abortion? I mean, yeah, I was just going to say, like, you're taking away people's rights, actively supporting a party that's taking away women's and other people's rights.

So I don't really I couldn't do it, be with a Republican. But I would like to tell people that it's possible. I would like to have the feelings that, yes, you can make it work if you love him and he's respectful about your opinions. But it is a major value differentiation when you're talking about human rights. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, that is that that's what I'm curious about. It's like what you know, it's like some people are Republican, but they're like I'm not about certain things. And is it worth making a distinction? and is it just like well do you think i should stay should i should 26 000 women in texas have

to give birth because of rape you know that statistic that in the last 18 months thing so like oh god like shit that's so dire and depressing and you're like do you you know do you support that because you do support that it seems highly improbable and i don't what do you think about people who say that they don't support that but they're still a republican i think that they are naive yes i agree with you you know what i mean like i think they're either naive at best and lying at worst you know what i mean yeah you know it's a hard answer it's another this is another debbie downer i would say i can't do it if you could do it great if you could get past it great if you can just divorce yourself and compartmentalize you know your relationship in that

way that you guys aren't going to agree that on that then good for you but i wouldn't be able to do that yeah and i mean asterisk if he's not voting at all does it matter i mean it does but well you know did is he not voting or did he didn't vote in the midterms but if he's not voting at all then like i don't know maybe it's less of an issue yeah if he's not voting great well yeah if if we can count on it raining every election day then this is this relationship is definitely gonna work but the minute the sun shines watch out neil you were a delight it was great to spend time with you i loved having you on and everyone you have to watch his special and then you have to watch his other specials because you are a fucking very talented man and you're

very funny and it's called crazy good and it's on netflix and neil also has a podcast called blocks that's right what kind of things do you talk about on what do you talk about on blocks we well so i a special call blocks where i talked about my emotional blocks right and then so now i have other comedians come on and and like letterman came on and bill burr and bert and tom and you know jimmy carr just a bunch of people hopefully chelsea nikki glazer uh whatever trevor noah just did a good people do it and they're kind of very sweetly emotionally forthcoming oh cool i like so it's interesting yeah like it's you would actually be like you'll probably like more of most of the people more than you thought you did because they you actually hear like oh

tom segura was sad to go on the road because he was gonna miss his kid oh shit like that letterman didn't leave the studio until the sun went down if he had a bad show and i was like dave that's like 8 39 and he goes no we're talking 10 30 11 as an adult just shit that i've never heard people was he also his assistant i if you think i didn't if you think that joke didn't come into the teleprompter chelsea when he said it and i didn't say it chelsea not every joke has to be said chelsea okay well neil that sounds like a great podcast i would love to be on anytime but you're invited hit me up don't threaten me with a good time i yeah well we're gonna get to the bottom of you we're gonna get back to the bottom of your allyship is what we're gonna get to the

God damn right we are. Thank you, Neil. God damn right. It was great spending time with both of you. All right, you guys. Bye. Thanks. Bye.

Okay, guys. So for stand-up, we added a second show in Sydney. And we added a second show in Pryor Lake, Minnesota, which is now going to be May 24th. We added the Santa Barbara Bowl, which is so fun. I performed there last year. That's August 17th, the Santa Barbara Bowl. We added a second show at Santa Rosa on August 2nd. and we added two dates in Hawaii, guys. I'm coming to Hawaii on July 19th to Kahului.

I'm going to be at Kahului, and then I'm coming on July 20th to Honolulu. And, oh, I just added another date on August 1st, Auburn, Washington. So, and all my Australia and New Zealand dates are up, and I will be announcing a European tour shortly. And May 3rd, which is my mother's birthday, Norman, Oklahoma. So, come. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at dearchelseapodcast at gmail.com. And be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law.

And be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com. i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor files with elizabeth smart on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by kristin bell josh gad and adina menzel i auditioned for frozen what

for kristoff they said okay what are you going to be singing today i said i don't know that must have been why you didn't get it oh you probably want plus john stamos hayden christiansen from Star Wars and more. And I guess I can share that. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home pro society is a weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts hey this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements we host the podcast Hollywood Handbook each week we

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