Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - A Free Love Queen with Hannah Einbinder

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

Emmy Nominee Hannah Einbinder joins Chelsea to talk about the trouble with being perceived, why Chelsea is Hannah’s own personal Deborah Vance, and suffering from altitudinism.  Then: A hypnotherapist suggests a quick ketamine fix.  A throuple goes astray when one member loses his libido.  And a late-night tryst causes drama in a friend group.     * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. if your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality

welcome home pro society is a weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions yeah i'm obsessed i'm us. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and

space. You're hired to fill the space with you. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi. Hi, Chelsea. How are you? Well, I'm fresh off a colonoscopy. I did the prep. I've rescheduled this thing five times in my life because I did not want anyone going inside my asshole. This isn't your first one. This is my first colonoscopy. No way. Yeah, because I tried to outsmart them and they gave me another option. I had to give a like stool sample once which is humiliating in its own right I mean that is so embarrassing shitting into a basket or a bucket or they gave me like a container that you would put french fries in and we're like take a shidoobi in this I'm like oh my god you're making me sick

so sick and then they write on the instructions like if you find any worms I'm like what if I find any worms I'm going to the hospital I'm not fucking sampling it out and then put it so gross I'm so sorry to start the podcast like this but this is what my life has been like so I did the prep and i didn't like i wanted to avoid that fluid gross liquid did you do one yeah i just wanted to make sure everything was fine because a relative had had some polyps so i was like let's just get it checked out i was clean as a whistle but my prep was just like they were like add miralax was it miralax anyway whatever i added one of those right to your gatorade so it was just gatorade that's all it tasted like it was great oh okay i mean it was fine yeah that's not

bad no i took pills so the schedule was very annoying you eat a late breakfast and then you don't drink anything except clear liquids or actually they don't have to be clear you can have like you know Gatorade or lemonade which is what I drink and I took the pills from five to six you take like 12 pills every five minutes you take a pill and then from 1am then I set my alarm from 1am to 2am I had to take the other set of pills and then I just started urinating out of my ass yeah and like I was like okay great great great and then I went in at 5 30 in the morning I got there of course an hour early because I couldn't have been sleeping during that time I have to fucking get everywhere early like an asshole.

They weren't even open when I got there. I was like knocking on the door. I'm like, oh, I'm here. They're like, no one else. The doctor's not here. No one's here. Anyway, it wasn't the prep that was bad. It was the aftermath.

Because then I had a green smoothie and I had a little bit of an accident. So, yeah. I mean, I am glad that is over. I'm glad. I am glad. And everything's good? But my asshole is ready for the weekend. Oh, fantastic.

You're going to party. I have a whole clean shoot happening. Fantastic. Well, that leads us to our guest today. Oh, yes. Hannah Einbinder. Oh, my gosh. Hannah is here.

She received an Emmy nomination for her role on Hacks. Her new one-hour special is on Max also. In addition to Hacks being on Max, this is not a poem. It's called Everything Must Go. Right? Yep. Okay, yeah. Please welcome Hannah Einbinder.

Okay, we're here with my darling friend, Hannah Einbinder. Hi. It's so nice to see you in the flesh. I know. It's been since the last tour, I think. I know. Hannah and I toured together. She opened for me for a series of dates. That's right. And we had some good stories. You have never been on this podcast before, right? I don't think so.

Because remember when we were in, where were we? Denver. It was Denver. Oh, when I got altitude sickness. She got altitudinism. She suffered from altitudinism, which I call Judaism. That's right. But she, we were in Denver, which obviously is not at sea level. There's an altitude there. And right before we, I think we had two shows in one night, right? I did the first show.

Oh, you did. Okay. I did the first show. I'm so long winded on stage. Like I am really packing every amount of words you can into every sentence. And so even on, even at sea level, I have trouble catching my breath when I'm speaking. Yes. So it was like training with like fucking crazy ankle.

I could not catch my breath. She couldn't breathe. And she came off stage and she was winded and she looked pallid, weak. She looked weak. And so we had to get her an oxygen tank. That's right. Or oxygen backstage, which happens to a lot of people, actually. They had it ready.

And then we had to call around Denver to go and find an opener for me because she couldn't get back up. She had to lay down. Lie down. can't believe I just lay down after I give so much so much shit to people about it anyway she recovered thankfully that's right but I had seen her special before her special came out which is called everything must go so I was exposed to Hannah before a lot of people were exposed to you so I consider that a Jewish blessing that's right and I consider you a

hipster for that way before it was cool exactly yeah exactly and then right right after we started or some sometime after you started you were on hacks you started you got that show yeah and then everyone started to find out who you were that's right and i want to talk about that because i know you had a little trouble adjusting to the attention that you were getting from the show and then becoming like a public figure and you were so passionate about stand-up and i i felt initially and tell me if i'm wrong or right that you had some reservations about being so public facing all of the sudden all of a sudden oh my god it's because my hip you're gonna start saying anyways anyways yeah i think that's i think that's right i think if you're in

your head as is you have to calm yourself down being like no one's worried about you no one's thinking about you no one's looking at you relax and it's like well that's kind of not really totally true anymore is it it's like kind of your anxious fears come to life a little bit it's look i ain't complaining it's a it's a product of the greatest fortune a person can have in our business but yeah i don't think it's natural at all right and what did you find bothersome the attention or when you heard negative attention was there a certain aspect that was more troubling than another just being perceived i think like in a massive way i feel lucky that mostly it's positive folks who like the show come up and they're very sweet like i mean

It's a very positive show. Yeah, like I really got about as lucky as you can, I think. But yeah, I think just kind of having sort of like too much awareness of myself and maybe like instead of seeing myself this way, like seeing myself this way and kind of having an outside sort of Truman Show-esque view of my own words. Kind of seeing yourself, for our listeners who probably aren't watching this, we just made a gesticulation about being, you're basically saying, seeing yourself through the lens of other people. right yeah a little bit which is strange I think especially for an artist who needs to kind of like curb that in order to maintain like a pure perspective I think you know yeah so how did you deal with it I think I'm still dealing I think but I'm a very like insular person I kind of like have very few close friends that I see all the time and so I just kind of like keep my world

small and a lot of my my lovely people in my life keep me very grounded and tethered and you know they're keeping me on it. So yeah, I do what I can, you know? And yeah, I'm just thinking about myself when I was your age and like how I dealt with that stuff. And I think I probably have like the opposite personality that you do, you know, like anxiety. I don't think I think I've experienced anxiety until I was in my forties. Like I didn't even know what people were talking about. I wanted to be empathetic, but I didn't really understand what it meant. And what I've learned is that encapsulates so many things that everybody feels on a daily basis so when you say or when I would say I don't think I suffer from anxiety it's just that I didn't understand what half of the things

I was feeling were anxiety right because I didn't really I thought anxious is like you know when you it almost is so stifling that you're not able to do anything right that you're not able to push through it and you're not able that it becomes you become hamstrung what do you feel were things that you thought were just like energy inside of you that you now know are anxiety like various like like nerves like being nervous and being anxious like knowing a date is coming up and a date to do something or you know like that you have to be somewhere like having anxiety having nerves about it but I always understood it or framed it in my own way that that was what happens like you you're gonna have nerves what who would who wouldn't have nerves yeah if

you have a big show coming up or you're going to be on TV or you're going to be live. Like I had so much nervous energy and that qualifies as anxiety, but I didn't think of it that way at that time. What, what do you feel like when you said like in your forties, when you kind of were like, Oh, like I'm locking into this, what do you attribute that to? Like that awareness? Therapy. Okay. Therapy. And then realizing and having self-awareness. Yeah. So like being able to understand how other people are seeing me, whereas before that never crossed my mind, it never bothered me at all. Like any negative feedback I was fine with. I'm like, that's okay. Like who cares? I'm what is this a popularity contest? Like I'm already successful. I don't

care if you don't like me, like enough people do, you know, like I had that kind of bullish attitude about it, which worked for me for a long time until it stopped working. Yeah. You know, totally. But you're much more quieter. And I would say more delicate. Certainly. Yes. you're a little delicate flower a daisy if you will that's right tell me about your relationship with jean oh i love her she's fab i mean what's not to love about jean smart she's awesome yeah she and i really like i think you know people go like how has your relationship evolved over the course of the show and to me like it it has deepened certainly of course but like the thing that is inherent to our dynamic is that it was an instant sort of electric connection and i feel

like when we first auditioned together like I felt that energy from her and so like it's awesome like we send each other memes back and forth like she's very silly and like just really nurturing and like we joke about this all the time about like you're my own personal Debra Vance in real life but like I feel that from both of you actually where like you have always been so like supportive of me and and in a way that is not always the case like I think I think women have historically been pitted against each other and made to feel like there's only room for one and like we should be competitive and I have never felt anything other than support and like nurturing from like both Jean and you and I feel like I don't know I feel like she is one of several

women in my life professionally who just have like only ever loved and championed me and it's it's really nice well she's old school yeah yeah and I think that's true I mean obviously what you're saying about women is true I definitely experienced that in my career like a zero-sum game almost where there's not room for everyone and you're like wait what are you talking about there's room for everyone the tide rises everyone rises with the tide you know unless you can't fucking swim. But I think because it's such a nice lesson for you at this stage in your career also of how you want to treat other people by being treated in a certain way. Right. You know, and being in in such a lucky situation, like you're on the show right now and you don't know

what your next show is going to be or your next movie or whatever, you know, and you don't know how fortunate you are sometimes until those situations are gone. So you have to really lap it up because you'll hear about these wonderful stories you know people on the set of friends look at all of them and how great of a time they had for so many years and then they go on to different sets and there's different dynamics and you're like oh wait that was really and to have that at the front of your career can be a hard comparison yes right as you move forward I think about that a lot you know just like in you know it's very rare that the quality of the work and the quality of the people line up across the board like there really is no bad egg in the bunch

on hacks it would be obviously the the thrill of a lifetime to like continue to to have those like quality you know relationships on a quality show where you're making something you're proud of but i i am starting to kind of face the reality that maybe that's going to be hard to yeah maintain but it's my hope i mean i hope i feel like a kind of a conflict diverse person i feel like growing up in la i i feel like you're you grow up alongside a lot of interesting personalities And so you kind of figure out how to navigate that. And like, I definitely feel like like I'm good with people. And so it's my hope that even the craziest people I come across, I'll be able to like maybe handle. But yeah, I have really no, no experience with that just yet. So we'll see. I'll talk to you after that happens, I guess. Well, you've also been very therapized. And I say that in a good way. Like, I mean, that's one good thing about growing up in L.A. is that you have to go to therapy. Since 15.

Which is amazing. What's your therapy situation now? Is it a new therapist? Have you kept one for a long period of time? I'm with my same therapist. Since you were 15? Since I was 15. Yeah, which and there are obviously, you know, conflicting opinions on whether that's good or not. But I feel like she is so such a wonderful witness to like absolutely everything. And so she can really analyze what is needed and like understands the greater context. and she challenges me which is what brought me here today I think you know just to where I'm I'm at her challenging me has always been a source of our dynamic and and and I welcome it I'm really like interested in that and who else do you find in your life that challenges you I think my friends I think like my core group of girlfriends like I have a friend from high school a friend from

college and like several friends from after like from the comedy scene who like just have known me since before my life shifted. And I am always seeking honest feedback. And I feel like I can tell even if they don't want to like say anything on their face, like if they're not really like down with some shit I'm doing or saying or like don't approve of some decision. You know what I mean? Like I do seek that out. Yeah. I mean, it's very difficult to have honest relationships with people in this industry. I mean, you can think of like five people who are in the media right now nonstop and it's like clearly no one's telling them the truth because you wouldn't be so out and open like you know you need people to tell you and it's very difficult because like

even when i think oh i think about all the people in my life that'll be honest with me and it's like yeah if you really press them to be yeah yeah i have to be like no you have to fucking tell me the truth yeah because most people don't want their conflict averse too yeah yeah well there was a storyline about that in hacks this season with the yellow dress where it's like everybody wants to be the yes man yeah that's right that's right and that's i mean i think that's why like those two women bond because it's the first person that has ever told deborah what she actually thinks you know yeah that's such an interesting dynamic so when you put out your special everything must go which came out a few months ago how did that feel because that

was your first stand-up special showing people your style of comedy yeah and i've heard you describe it as filmic yeah yeah it was yeah I was really look I mean that that material I had been working on for so long and it felt like I really had the time which is such a incredible currency to have acting gave me the time to really fine-tune my stand-up which was you know my only aspiration when I started performing like I didn't think of a world beyond stand-up like that's really what I wanted to do completely and so having the time to like really fine-tune and perfect it by the time we put it out I was so I felt so ready and proud of it and so clear on what I wanted it to be and it's certainly vulnerable but I feel like just everything

that I have all of the feedback that I have gotten over the years gave me the confidence to be like i'm proud of this and i know that it will confuse some people and it's not going to be for some people but i'm cool with it being very much for the people that it is for you know i mean yeah well she has a very great commitment to letting a joke move slowly which i love i have a lot of respect for that because you know any if you're a comedian you're trying to get to a punch line and some people cannot handle not making an audience laugh for more than 30 seconds you know the quiet is just like nerve-wracking to people I've watched it I've lived it yeah but yeah it was great watching that when you were working on it before your special to see that her commitment

to that it's a style of comedy that you have to be committed to and unwavering yeah I feel like I cultivated that just like by pushing it I don't know that I was always like that but like the more audiences gave me credit the more I was just like you know what I'm gonna pause even longer and like it's that thing of like you know where it's like it's funny and then it stops being funny and then it gets funny again because it's like you can't understand how it's continuing to go on like I'm actually like really comfortable in that and and yeah it's fun to cultivate like a style unbeknownst to yourself to just kind of happen upon it and go oh this is interesting well I think it mimics your personality a lot too yeah you're quiet but you have lots to say but you're not loud yeah and

you're not in anyone's face no so i think it's a perfect complement to who you are as a person thank you which is what you want your stand-up to be because it's your pov yeah yeah i feel like when i got into stand-up like i was trying to present this aspirational version of like who i wanted to be like this very confident cool collected person and I feel like I grew into that through doing it and obviously the therapy of course but like I really feel like now like the separation between like who I am on stage and who I am off stage while there is a massive theatrical sort of like lens over the whole thing and it is very much a performance style choice and I'm being silly or I'm doing characters whatever like it does feel closer to

me whereas when I started I feel like it was just like what would the coolest version of me be like what could I escape to to feel like awesome yeah I think there's it's interesting to talk to different stand-ups because some stand-ups that's what their dream is they just want to be on the stage and some stand-ups just want the recognition of being on the stage and they don't mind walking off stage you know and then some there's like everybody has something different but when somebody really wants to be on stage and do stage time it's a different that's like a true comic like you know you want to like you you don't care what it leads to you just have to be on stage yeah I've never been someone who has to be on stage I like everything that goes with it

writing like I like the writing I like the execution I like the refining and I like the feedback from the audience yeah and then you get to a place where you become so good at what you do that it is like in your pocket you don't have to constantly think about how it's being perceived because you know that you're doing it well it is so interesting and cool to watch you work because you are one of the more prolific comedians the tours that i've done with you i've probably seen two or three different hours like over the course of us working together which is like so incredible and like it does speak to what you're saying of being like i really do love writing like i watch you with your pages and pages and pages of typed notes of the act like it's like a freaking like

document you know before and like yeah you're like yeah you're really in a process you know and I consider myself a lazy performer so it's funny to hear you say that because there is a lot of work that goes into it but there's a difference between work that comes naturally and there's a different work that is not natural to you and then it does feel like work yes but writing is such an easy you know avenue for me and I feel like a lot of comics feel that way but yeah you can see comics do the same act for like two years and you're like oh my god how can you still tell those jokes yeah but it is it's just a different style some people have to repeat it you know enough times to get it like i'm on tour right now and this is the longest tour i've

done for a set and i've already moved on to new material i haven't taped my special yet i tape it in november but i'm like oh no okay now i have to start thinking about the next hour i already got this done you know yeah and so i'm like oh wow the more you're on stage obviously the more you're writing the more comfortable you are the more confident you are in what you're doing like I don't have to try out bits anymore you know what I mean I know if something's gonna work oh my god jealous I'm so jealous I maybe one day it is it's so funny when like when she started that show and when she started hacks which we had Paul T Downs on a few months ago who was so fucking funny Paul W Downs Paul T Downs I well I called I've renamed him Paul W Downs it was it

was like life imitating art I'm like oh my god and she's like we we were flying on a private plane once and we sent the picture to her producers because they wrote I don't fly privately a lot anymore I just want to put that on the record because that's fucking true yeah I've been very good about that but we were talking about like art imitating I'm like oh my god I think I am a version of Debra Vance yeah and then I was like wait no that's too that's too old for me and I was like no no wait I fucking like that yeah and now I'm doing a Vegas residency I'm not living in vegas i will never live in vegas what is what is the travel schedule i literally fly in and either fly back that night or spend the night with a group of friends and you know

yeah yeah party out of it is it just weekends it's it's like holiday it's once a month for like the next two years fab yeah yeah once a month for the next two years that's the kind of commitment i'm looking for exactly absolutely across the board absolutely okay on that note we're going to take a break and we're going to come back and we're going to take callers and we're going to give them advice. You're going to love it. Okay, great. It's so cute. Love it. This week, write in if you have questions about fitness. It could be something specific you're dealing with in your fitness routine, how to maintain your motivation or get started with a new routine, or questions you have on a deeper level about your physical health and fitness.

Write in to DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just

started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself

because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive

to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people.

Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it. And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. It was so pure.

Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. we're back with Hannah Einbinder. Hannah, we have some real special ones for you today. This one specifically, I was really excited to find for you. Okay. Our first question comes from Sam. That's a lot of pressure you're putting on Hannah. Oh my God. Shit. So Sam says, Dear Chelsea, last year I connected with a therapist and she helped me make huge breakthroughs in several areas of my life through hypnotherapy. I was skeptical at first when I started, but after a few intense sessions where I spoke to dead relatives and saw pieces of my dreams unfold,

I was sold. I took a break after a while as it's out of pocket and I'm in graduate school full time while already struggling to afford life after putting myself through two other degrees to get where I am today. Recently, I decided to leave a relationship and I reached back out to the therapist. She suggested I do ketamine therapy with her, something she's found helps a lot of her clients and get to the point they want to be faster although it's a lot of money up front as insurance does not reimburse most of it she believes i will get the results in a shorter amount of time in some ways i'm totally for it especially with ending this relationship i feel myself reverting to old patterns and want to heal i worry that it may be a lot of money to try

something new and potentially risky should i go for it and hopefully finally heal from the parts of me holding me back or should i play it safe and continue to spend money on therapy i already can't afford, Sam. And of course, Hannah, you talk about your therapist suggesting hypnotherapy. Have you ever done ketamine therapy? I have not. Yeah. I have never done it either. So it's really hard for me to answer that question. I know that it can be really positive. I've also heard ketamine is tricky because like it is a therapy drug, but it's also used recreationally in a way that can be like dangerous and not good. So it's like that's when you shove it up your ass. Yeah, totally. Yeah. I mean, it has massive therapeutic benefits, but I mean, it depends. If you have to do six sessions, I would say maybe stick with the therapy. Like, I think that's I think therapy is a great tool. I think it's like a more consistent thing that you can keep track with.

I would say that also everyone wants to fast track their healing and everyone wants a result. And you don't have to explain that to me. I'm the most impatient person in the world. So I understand how you want to kind of fast forward to the better results. But if it's something that's really not affordable to you in this moment, it's going to be available and it's only going to get better. Yeah, that's true. So I would be very consistent with your therapy because that yields the most concrete results overall for most people. Yeah. So as long as you keep going, you have to have a conversation and dialogue with yourself, I think, to know that you're always moving in the right direction. Like every time you go to therapy, you're taking a step in the right direction, even if it feels like you're taking two steps back. That's part of your therapy process.

Is making progress and then falling back or screwing up and then making progress again. And then actually, you know, the mistakes become fewer and your slip ups become fewer. But you have to look at it as like a grand net of what it's yielding. And that doesn't happen in six months or a year. You know what I mean? You make little changes along the way and then all of a sudden things start to click and then you're really making changes. Did you try hypnotherapy when your therapist suggested it? I didn't.

That suggestion just like kind of broke the idea. And that was from the therapist that you're seeing now? Yeah. So she's seen your stand-up because you say that in your special. She, she and I have, she's, you know what is, I'm realizing now, she asked me if it was cool if she watched it and I said yes, but we haven't talked about it after. Well, I mean, it was her suggestion.

So she's going to have to take accountability for it. I told her, I was like, I want you to know, I do have a joke about you. So just so you know, she was like, okay, thanks for the help. went to hypnotherapy only for smoking cigarettes and that worked for about eight years but that was like i mean it was interesting but he basically it's carrie gator and he basically berates you for a half an hour telling you how disgusting you are for smoking and that you're like basically a coal miner breathing in toxins and fumes and you're like i'm disgusted by myself at this point too whoa so and then he hypnotizes you but you're not under under you know it's just

suggest. I don't think hypnosis is what people think it means. It's almost like you're lightly under and you're just a little bit more open to suggestion. Your eyes aren't spirals. There's no clock. Right. Right. There's no media has really sort of warped our perception of hypnosis. Right. Exactly. So I think our advice to you is stick with the therapy is the most important thing. Yeah. And maybe also, you know, if hypnotherapy is a little too expensive, maybe find like a group that is less expensive or you know free option sliding scale sort of it would be better to do hypnotherapy with a group anyway quite frankly that's more fun yeah because then you can see it in action you know i always like to see things before they happen to me

yeah see them happen to other people yeah well our next question comes from libby she has throuple problems i love throuple problems okay great so she says dear chelsea story time i'm a 24 year old woman and i'm part of a throuple when i met my two partners almost three years ago we were really just hanging out and hooking up my girlfriend and i soon fell in love and decided we should all be together a couple months in our boyfriend and a helpful note is that her girlfriend and her boyfriend were together for several years before they got together a couple months in our boyfriend just stop trying to engage in any kind of sexual activity with her girlfriend and me. No matter how hard we try to entice him, he was the furthest thing from interested.

I soon discovered this has been an ongoing problem in basically every adult relationship he's ever had. He and I are both managers for the same company. A couple weeks ago, he transferred back to a store in which he notoriously flirted with women he worked with there. It was a point of contention in our throuple for a long time. The same week, he told us that he was not interested in having sex with either one of us or, quote, anyone else. He said he thinks it would be best if we found another guy to hook up with. Basically, he wants to be roommates who give each other goodbye kisses and hang out at the end of the day. He wants to be a family unit but doesn't want to do anything romantically. He also started staying

after work two to three hours after the store is closed. He will not go to the doctor to try and figure out his lack of libido. He refuses to go to therapy. It's gotten to the point where he will even look away if one of us is changing our clothes it's kind of weird to me that he seems fine with us sleeping with another guy so he doesn't have to be bothered with it should we just accept being roommates with him yes yes he's telling you he doesn't want anything to do with you yeah what is the fucking question here she's gonna join us here in a second oh she's oh great i can yell at her in person yeah it says uh is he asexual is he gay is he hiding something what if we do sleep with another man and ours suddenly decides he wants to sleep with someone else

I have no clue how to go about this. There are multitudes of men who would die for the chance to have two hot, funny girlfriends. Libby. Hi, Libby. Hi, Libby. Hi. Hi, everybody. Wow. This is such a fun feature of this podcast. OK, so first of all, that's really funny because he's telling you he wants nothing to do with you and you're trying to make him be a part of your throuple. It's over. Yes. I was afraid of that. I needed to find out from the queen herself i think that it's you guys can talk about what it would be like transitioning if you really feel that it's good to continue this attachment in a platonic way with him in terms of the roommate arrangement i think if you guys can really be cool with that in your heart knowing

that he is staying two to three hours after work and really being honest with yourself to make peace with the fact that if he is you know truly you know messing around or doing whatever that that's not going to affect your living situation if the answer is no then i think the answer is no and you guys kind of move on from there it sounds like his move is to flirt if he has no libido you think he has a libido at work and he's having sex with these other women i mean it's really neither here nor there actually but just out of curiosity no and that's the thing like that's how he kind of drew me in when we met because we met at work coincidentally and he was charming and he still is like he is a great guy he's funny he's flirty when he wants to be but i truly don't

believe that he's actually going out and having sex with other people but it's just the secretness and the need to sneak around that's confusing because he was never like that in the past and now all of a sudden this comes out that he has no sexual interest in us and now all of a sudden like the other night he decided that he was gonna go out after work and that's no big deal but I just feel like with the way the situation is right now like that was just weird all of a sudden he was like yeah I'm gonna go out after work and our girlfriend was like not that I care but like where do you think you're gonna go and he was just like anywhere but here talking about work It was very vague. And it was almost just like trying to be mean and just trying to get a rise out of the both of us.

I think you and your girl should skip town. I think you guys start a new life. I think you guys kind of. I think it's a wrap on this and this throuple, you know, I mean, he couldn't be more plain about it. And, you know, when people are embarrassed or shameful, especially with regard to their sexual performance, they will make it seem like they have other things, you know, that they're drumming up business elsewhere. So he might just be doing that to pretend like, oh, no, he's not interested, especially if he's being outwardly mean to you and being like anywhere. But here, clearly, you guys have done something that made him uncomfortable or feel less than. And so he's trying to make that very clear to you. I don't think you should be trying to gather any more information from him. Yes. And it's just so hard to get him to communicate at all because he is just so closed off.

And I could have a million conversations where I'm like, you know, are you upset? like i understand if you are that's very valid and i just get a it's whatever i think also i could see it being within the realm of possibilities that he may be threatened by the connection between the two of you you know i think he had this pre-existing relationship with your girlfriend and then kind of like i i think the male ego is pretty fragile i don't want to make generalizations but i think the male ego can be fragile and it's possible that he's feeling threatened and that's not your labor and that's actually not your guys's responsibility and that's also not something that anyone can heal but him yes and we have had those conversations as well like my girlfriend has

flat out said like is us being together her and i a problem for you because at the time she was like i would rather work on us if that's a problem she's like i love this struggle and what we have but it's a 10-year relationship so if that's going to save it then it she would be willing to like work on it and he just says no absolutely not that's not fair to either one of you like I love her too why would I want that he just completely shuts down the idea but it just feels like there's something there that he's not saying yeah but that's not your problem he's expressing to you he's no longer interested and you're like but why but why but maybe you are it doesn't matter you know what I mean you have to respect his space and you have to respect the fact that he's not

interested anymore are you and the girlfriend your girlfriend and his girlfriend ish on the same page about this we are she just has the 10-year attachment so that is a lot for her they have two kids together oh and there's so much intertwined it is an entire life that we have to separate like down to bank accounts who has the kids on the weekend like yeah it it's a lot for her in that sense and that she thinks like why would i want to go through the trouble of all of that if i could try to make this work but i don't think there's anything left to make work i also don't think you guys they don't need to legally divorce if they want to keep that feeling they don't have to separate bank accounts they could just like keep that under control and

just separate in a way that doesn't involve legality and anything like that yeah that's the nice part they're not technically married they've just been together for 10 years all right well you just solved another problem in this dynamic yes but my girlfriend is also like well if he wants to be done then I want absolutely nothing to do with him and I do not want any reminder I do not want to share a bank account I do not want to see him using money to take somebody else out on a date if that's the case and I can understand that too yeah but that's also you have to get to a place where there's not such emotion attached to that relationship that's reactive she has two children with him so she's never getting away from him she's gonna have to

see him on a date and that's not fair because you guys are in a relationship and he's been privy to that and he clearly didn't like it you know because he's trying to extricate himself so i think everybody like i think some space would do you all very well you know it would serve you all well So you can get some perspective. And it sounds like he's pissed and he's a little bit angry and he needs to extricate himself from the situation so he can settle. And you guys can settle in this new dynamic that you have that is, you know, without a man. And if you guys find someone else you want to introduce to the two of you, that's fine, too. But give it some time without pushing at it. You know what I mean? like let the dust settle and actually like retreat with your girlfriend and make a delineation in the relationship so that there's no confusion anymore there's no expectations from you guys that he's going to join you sexually it doesn't matter what he's doing out of the relationship that's really none of your business anymore right i think that clarity does need to come from you because it

seems like so far it's been like well what does he want what is what's going on with him and i think since he's not giving you that you have to decide for yourself if this is right for you and make that delineation for what what makes sense for you yeah and that's also something i've been thinking about a lot lately too because like i love our relationship and i love the kids i love being around it i love my life but i'm also 24 years old and it's this is a lot yeah it is a lot of life. It's a lot for a 44 year old, nevermind a 24 year old. But I think, listen, you have an opportunity here to like be the voice of reason to come in since there's more emotional attachment between the two of them than there is between you and him necessarily. I think, and you can be the

voice of reason and go, Hey guys, he's made himself clear. There's, I don't, I don't want to be the cause of all of this, like any ruination in a family, especially when there are children involved. So let's sit down and have a really adult conversation about how to move forward in a way that serves all three of you, you know, what's the best way to move forward without anger and without negativity and without this kind of reciprocity of like, well, he's doing that, we're going to do this or whatever, you know? Yes. And that is what I'm trying to break right now between my girlfriend, like the, he's doing this, so we should do this in retaliation or because it's good. We think it's going to make us feel better, whatever it is. I think that we

should just like you said let the dust settle go about life try to just let this sit and feel this for a bit before we make any big life moves with anybody else or do anything else yeah i think that's the best way to move forward yeah keep in mind you are 24 years old like lots of things can change in a second your interests can change your sexual interests can change your predisposition to all of these things everything is moving and fluid so you don't want to tie yourself to this situation for long term anyway no matter how you're feeling you're too young to be like committing to something more than a year down the road do you agree with that I agree with it but the hopeless romantic in me is like no this is forever but I am also a realist in the sense that like I know

things can change at the drop of a hat so much already has in my life. And as much as I want this to be like something forever, I can also understand that it might not be and that's totally okay. I have definitely started over and rebuilt things a couple times in my life already. So that's not the scariest thing in the world. It's just, I love my girlfriend, and I would do anything for her and at the moment like that is what I am worried about in the sense of life and who I want to be with as for him like I am just so exhausted with there always being an issue like somebody is never truly satisfied with something you know and I'm very go with the flow so I'm comfortable in life and I made a lot of sacrifices to fit this life not that I didn't

want to you just have to do that from single to being in a relationship but I don't know I just feel like I am thinking very like okay let's just do this and take the next step and it's not as easy for her it's easy for him obviously but it's a lot well you just said something first of all I want to just clarify you can be a hopeless romantic and be a realist those two things can exist at the same time you can be totally in love with someone and hope to spend the rest of your life with them and be pragmatic about it and know that if certain things happen, it may not work out that way. So it's OK to be a hopeless romantic. Like, that's nice. And that's what your 20s are for. But I would try to take this opportunity to lead them in a way to communicate with each other,

since it sounds like you are the one that has the healthiest outlook towards the situation. Try and get them to a place where there isn't so much negativity and like they have to act in like the best interest of their children and having a long term relationship that's going to last for decades until they're dead. You know, they're going to have these kids for the rest of their lives. So it's in everyone's best interest to find a better way to move forward and then move forward. I'm just, I get stuck when it comes to trying to work out the all or nothing mindset that the two of them can have sometimes. For example, my girlfriend was the one that said, maybe you should move in with your parents for a couple of weeks. They live like maybe a block or

two away it would be super convenient like it would give them some space maybe they can learn to miss each other because I think that's something that needs to happen I think he needs to miss us and he shut it down and he was like I'm not doing that I'm getting my own place or I'm staying here yeah we'll have him get his own place yeah that doesn't sound like the type of if you were starting new with someone you had no attachment to and no history with and they said that to you you would walk away in a second. I think history cannot serve as an excuse for bad behavior and an unwillingness to compromise. Like I think sometimes history clouds the types of standards that you would otherwise have for yourself. And it's important to run everything he says through

the metrics of the most respectful treatment that you both deserve. Yes. And these every sign and every action that he has done throughout this I've been thinking about it and it's not even a soft breakup it is a very hard breakup that those are very hard breakup signs yeah it's like you're resisting the breakup though like what you guys are doing is resisting the reality of a situation which will only prolong a situation and you're resisting what he's telling you like he's giving you the information you're being like investigating it further there's no need for that it's time for the next step to move forward and get him out of the house. Let him go. He wants to go. He's not into you guys. Accept that. Yes. And I definitely am ready to accept that. I just need to get my

girlfriend on the same page. She is doing a lot better with it. Like she understands. I just think it's hard altogether. She's just grieving the relationship as a whole. Yeah. But we both know that we need to move forward and stick to our guns because he has a tendency to blow things up kind of like this and like say like oh maybe we should just break up or whatever and things just weirdly go back to normal it's like it never happened like he woke up and changed his mind the next day and I think that's just not wanting to leave the comfortability of the life that he does have with us and like the house that we have and everything else right I'm not sure what to do there because I feel like we always get to a certain point and then there's just a standstill

and he just waits for things to die down or something. Well, I think you need to go to your girlfriend and say, we're going to go to have a conversation with him and the next move is for him to move out. We're existing in a situation that is no longer hospitable for anybody. Do you guys rent? Who's on the lease?

We have a mortgage and it's him that's on the mortgage, but he's willing to move out so we can switch that around. It's so messy. But great. But the thing is, in these messy situations, you have to take steps. it's like a twister that just keeps going around and around until someone steps in and changes what's happening so you have to be that person step one let's get him out of the house he doesn't

want to be here we'll figure out the name on the mortgage later but let's take one step at a time and so that everybody is feeling better about the situation yeah we're just going to have to have that conversation and realign our responsibilities and just make it work for the two of us yeah great go do it we wish you luck you're gonna be fine just but be a voice of reason don't get sucked into this like windmill of not it's just nonsensical it's not working for anyone anymore yeah and i have a habit of letting myself get sucked in and just yeah i know i know you have to take yourself out of the drama even though you're part of the drama yeah and i would encourage your girlfriend to see somebody to deal with like the anger part of it because if she can

solve that piece of it i think this whole thing will be a lot easier for everybody as nothing good comes from being passive aggressive and being reactive it's all just like toxic yeah yeah all right Libby thank you so much for calling in and keep us posted on what happens okay yes thank you guys so much I appreciate you all okay bye bye Libby who would have ever thought a thruple gone wrong have you ever been part of a thruple Hannah no I haven't I've only been part of a sexual thruple not a relationship thruple and that served its purposes beautifully you do sort of think like she's living the dream right they they're raising kids together they're having a great time but then it's like complicated emotions but i love the sentence of any other guy would die to be in

this situation it's like that has nothing to do with what's happening yeah that standard what are you saying like that he should be more excited sexually than he like you can't make someone be attracted to a situation that they've lost interest yeah and you know it's totally legitimate if he were asexual or like gray asexual and like still emotionally intimate with them but that does not seem like what's happening that sounds like that's soured yeah but we always add drama to things like especially women we have a tendency and that's totally sexist but it's fucking true we add drama where we don't need to so our job is to withdraw the drama you know when you can cut it cut it and can i loved what you said about like viewing it in the context of a new relationship like we

get so sucked into you know the fallacy of sunk costs like I've spent 10 years with this person I gotta make it work it's like no you have to like do what's right for you right now it doesn't matter what the last 10 years have been and also when you're not legally married that is such an advantage in this world like you already set yourself up for success by not getting legally married in the first place yeah yeah there's no shortcut for saving time but saving money is Simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.

I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. but these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society,

the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments,

nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip,

I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts, you go with it.

And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now-husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our next caller is Riley. She's real fun.

Her question is, am I an asshole for having sex in my new friend's apartment bathroom? Short summary, I got invited to a party by three guys I met at the movie theater. I go to their house party the next day. I tend to be an oversharer and ask the guys for feedback on my nudes. I start fooling around with one of them and things quickly escalate. We're both very caught up in the moment and decide to move to the bathroom to have sex. A female friend of the apartment owner got very upset at me. screaming at me the moment we left the bathroom this is all like 4 30 in the morning by the way

i am bummed because i thought i was making new friends i feel really bad and i texted the apartment owner that i'm sorry i acknowledge how disgusting it must feel to have other people in your space i appreciate the kind gesture of inviting someone you've met a day prior to your apartment and i'm sorry i took advantage of that i also offered to deep clean his bathroom or pay someone to do it am i a huge asshole for doing this riley obsessed with you you are so iconic oh my god i mean i feel like if there's a window to be having sex in a bathroom you picked the right one like 4 30 a.m i feel like that's a totally different story

than doing it in the middle of the afternoon you know what i mean like if you guys are up after a certain amount of time like all bets are off who's people who fucked in my bunk bedroom multiple times in my old house there were like five different couples that hooked up there during a party and i encouraged it i mean and that's harder to clean than a bathroom you know those are hard services i would have done so well at woodstock queen you are a free love diva i you know he cleaned up all the cum afterwards and she still got upset so it's not i don't i did everything right i feel like both my parents know the story in that detail and they are on my side so i don't know i agree obsessed and so is your friend your friend is still mad at you well okay

i have an update to the story i don't know if you have time for this update i think we do go for it i sent that apology text right and i sent another apology text a week after the sex incident i got a text message literally the eve of my birthday on the 29th which is like a couple weeks after fourth of july and this is what the text message i get hey you dumb bitch if you're actually fucking sorry for what you did doordash ethan a mcdonald's big mac meal and 20 piece chicken mcnuggets tomorrow at 6 30 p.m send trent your nudes some guy at the party and give me back my hair clip along with a bottle of alcohol so i can disinfect that shit because i don't want to catch any crabs from you so ethan is the apartment owner right yes and this girl she doesn't live

there she has nothing to do with this no she is i think she's great first of all get away from all your sexual freedom yeah it's kind of shocking you are you are triggering her because she's threatened by her sexual freedom doll you know what's so funny is that like we had like i was cool with everyone before this sex incident like this girl is like this cute girl and we had this like whole conversation about like if she takes nudes like sex questions and like she was cool with everything the turning point was me having sex in the bathroom so and so did you respond to that text not really i responded a couple days so after this text message she sent me another text saying where's our mcdonald's you stupid bitch oh my god and a couple days later i just like

wanted to end it saying hey like alice let's call her alice hey alice like i don't have your hair clip i have no idea what you're talking about and i sent a screenshot of christopher the guy i hooked up with he sent me this long ass apology like the day we had sex like after she yelled at me kicked me out i sent a screenshot of that and said like hey i wish you guys well bye and i venmoed this bitch a hundred dollars why why why because just okay like if you're that mad at me like here you go yeah but she's unstable she's unhinged she has no business talking to you like that everyone it's just like the last like here you go like if you're that fucking angry here you go like i'm sorry for fucking in your bathroom listen listen having sex in a bathroom is not a crime it's just

not suggested at most places you can totally do that and it's a funny story but anyone who addresses you and talks to you and says you're a dumb bitch you don't are not giving them money in the future do you understand that you're being bullied by some fucking girl who has no say in this situation you know what's funny these people are in their 30s i just turned 27 don't beat yourself up for this no scenario no i'm definitely not no everybody's on my side okay good yeah don't Engage with people who talk to you like that. Like, it's so gross when women talk to women like that. Yeah, I'm, you know, this is funny because this is, like, top two of the biggest, like,

verbal arguments I've had. And both of them were, like, with a female and, like, sex-related. So, like, something with woman against woman and, like, sex, like, it's... Well, it's what Hannah said, that people get threatened by other people's freedom in any area of their life, and especially sexually. If someone else isn't as sexually free and they see someone being sexually free, that is a threat to them. yeah it's fucking weird it's a good story good job on letting him clean up all the cum way to

go on that front you know what a gentleman you know okay i just want to say like i just like think about like obviously this guy and i are not on good terms right now but the minute before we went to the bathroom he like told me like i want to fuck your brains out and i just like i just want to i just like remember that moment like i get sad about oh i lost some friends he was the one who came on to me like let's just put it that way i didn't initiate yeah the sex at all and also like these people are not your friends right these people they seemed like they were going to be fun and interesting and they treated you like dirt also you know you knew them for a couple of days so no harm done yeah it's kind of yeah it's funny how it all worked out yeah it's a good

cocktail party story though totally it's very funny yeah i'm like in the fact that i get to meet you and like tell the story like to my favorite comedian is like this is the best day of my life so look what are the worst decisions that you thought you made led to a really good decision see how that worked out already you already had good vibes from your bad what you thought was a bad decision which wasn't even a bad decision you just had a fun yeah no it was fun like who cares the guy would had like was man enough to like defend me and be like hey i didn't do anything like i don't think don't depend on men for anything yeah and obviously don't depend on women either i just depend on your you're all you've got yeah i know yeah well good luck with

everything. And I hope you make some new cooler friends quickly. Thank you, Telfie. Bye. Bye. And on that note, we're going to take a break and come back to wrap things up with Hannah Einbinder. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at fellerdirect.com When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.

I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.

Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it.

And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now-husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. And there is no cum on the counter. Wow. I love that she came out with cum like 10 seconds into the call. I just. I like that. God bless her.

Whole story. I know. I'm just mad that she Venmo'd them. Because when I talked to her, she had like said, oh, she wants me to send them food, whatever. And I was like, don't do any of those things that she told you to do. No. But then she Venmo'd her money.

Oh, girl. I know. Under the umbrella of I'm sorry for having sex with your friend and your other friends apartment like none of that makes any sense i think this girl has a crush on one or multiple of those guys and is like jealous like you said jealous very transparent you know they're just sitting around sending her that text like let's see what we can get her to do it's such bullying yeah if they're in their 30s and they can't afford mcdonald's then like go britain's yeah and if they're in their 30s and they want mcdonald's call me because i still feel the same

way well i have a quickie we can wrap up with right so this email is from ben he says dear Chelsea. Girl, I need some help. I'm a 30-year-old gay man living in Texas. I know, I know, I moved here from LA hoping to educate some of these fucking Republicans. It's not going great. Anyway, I love to have a good time, not like I have a fucking problem, but vodka and I get along very, very well. I am never a messy drunk or mean or out of control. I'm fun, love to laugh, and usually when I'm drunk, I'll dance on a table and will usually tell people how much I love them, how much they're going to achieve all their fucking dreams, even if I don't believe it's sober. So my issue is I can have the best time drinking, go to bed after an amazing night.

But the next morning I wake up and feel like everyone hates me. I have an insane amount of regret and I literally have to check in with people and make sure they're not mad at me after getting drunk. I love drinking and have no desire to stop. But why do I always feel this way after drinking and how can I snap out of it? I know you love a good time with alcohol and occasional drug use please help ben that's anxiety from that's a result of consuming too much alcohol yeah so you have to that's what happens to so many people when they over drink as much as i love to drink i do not over drink i drink to the point where i have a buzz but i do not allow myself to get wasted anymore yeah so you have to calibrate your drinking it's totally fine to go out and have a

good time but you don't need to get wasted every time you go out that just leads to people not wanting to hang out with you and regretful feelings in the morning and it causes anxiety alcohol causes anxiety not while you're drinking it the very next day this is very common among a lot of people yes so you can also complement your alcohol use with an edible so you don't drink as much you know when I have an edible I don't have the desire to have a drink last night I went out to dinner and I had two drinks in an edible and that's usually my kind of like you know if it's dinner and I'm not out, just get yourself down to a reasonable amount of drinking so that you start feeling better in the morning and take days off too. You can't drink every day because if you

want to get rid of that anxiety, you have to like get control of the situation first. But there's no, you don't have to stop as long as you get it under control. I had a boyfriend once said to me, I never want to overdo anything because I never want to have to quit anything. And I took that advice pretty seriously. I mean, I've overdone things plenty of times, but I always reel it in when i need to yeah yeah i was going to suggest incorporating pot as well i mean you're drinking less also like pot tends to whenever i drink ease the symptoms of like any hangover type thing the next day like i feel like pot kind of curbs some of that stuff you mean the night before or the next day when you're feeling it the next day i feel i'm less hungover if i've had if i've smoked

weed yeah like you're not a big drinker no no is it because it gives you anxiety you just don't like alcohol it doesn't really do the thing that it does for other people on me it's very rare that I drink and I'm like I feel amazing the only time I've ever felt that way is actually having a lychee martini from that restaurant jar on Beverly Boulevard I know it it's the only time I've drank alcohol and thought oh i understand like this is really good i'm so like physically jewish that like i can't get the good feeling before i get like nauseous or a headache like i i just like get the physical like shitty symptoms before i can like have fun right and how old is this guy uh 30 okay so you want to get this under control now yeah and like and just so you know like if

you look that up like hangover anxiety it is very common people always are experiencing that so you just want to like control the situation and once you get control of a situation and then you can introduce different things you can try a light edible you can try a joint whatever you prefer however you prefer to ingest I prefer joints but I can't smoke weed anymore because of my larynx I butchered that another thing I overdid so now I have to take edibles whether I like it or not but I made that adjustment because you have to I don't have a choice really you know you just have to control your habits yeah yeah yeah that's right okay hannah einbinder you know i love you i love you thank you for driving to my house hell yeah in brentwood no less even though you were in venice

that's right that's okay and thank you for christening our podcast room this is one of our first in-person podcasts is that so yeah we've only had one other one but yeah this is going to be our new home so i'm very happy to have you christen it awesome i'm happy to be human sage And you can watch Hannah's special on Max and you can watch Hacks on Match and on Match on Match.com. You can watch Hacks on Max and you can watch Hannah's special. Everything must go on Max as well. And you'll be hearing more from her. I can guarantee it.

And we'll see you all next week. Bye. Bye. OK, so upcoming shows that I have, you guys, I will be all over Maine, Charlotte, North Carolina, Charleston, South Carolina. I'm coming to Texas. I'm coming to St. Louis and Kansas City. And then I will be in Las Vegas performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel. My first three dates in Vegas are September 1st, Labor Day weekend, and then November 2nd and November 30th.

I'm coming to Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November 8th. And I have tickets on sale throughout the end of the year in December. so if you're in a city like philadelphia or bethlehem or san diego or new orleans or omaha check chelsea handler.com for tickets okay if you'd like advice from chelsea shoot us an email at dear chelsea podcast at gmail.com and be sure to include your phone number dear chelsea is edited and engineered by brad dickert executive producer katherine law and be sure to check out our merch at chelsea handler.com i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive

what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the

pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always

searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our hometown is not a test tube.

90 miles northeast of Nashville. A battle for the future of America plays out in one small town. Developers with right-wing ties have purchased hundreds of acres of land. We need cities on a shining hill. This is Our Town, a podcast about what happens when a small town becomes the site of a social experiment and fights back. Guess you didn't move in on a bunch of dumb hillbillies now, did you? Listen to Our Town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.