Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - A Fresh Batch of Miracles with Uzo Aduba

Episode Date: March 24, 2022

Uzo Aduba joins Chelsea this week to talk about her secret wedding, what it takes to keep 5 siblings close, and how many miracles you get to dispense when you die. Then: A single gal must choose between helping her family or keeping her sweet bachelorette pad in the city.  A cheater’s paramour comes prowling for more. And a niece searches for answers in her uncle’s disappearance. * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors

who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality,

welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the Internet and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by.

Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Well, you probably won.

Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us.

Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. hi katherine hi chelsea how are you oh hi welcome to dear chelsea everybody it's a brand new episode of dear chelsea i'm well i am pretty excited i've been in canada because i'm doing my stand-up dates here my touring dates here but joe was with me for a while with the dogs which was amazing because he would walk them and feed them and walk them and i don't like walking my dogs first of all

my dogs are pretty unwalkable, but I just don't like it. And I'm so lazy, which is why I'm a terrible parent. And I know not to have a child, but when he left, I found the pee pads in the closet and just reverted, resorted to that. I put them on the balcony. I opened the door and then they just go and use that. Like I take them out once and he used to take them out seven times a day so I mean it's like it's such a stark contrast from when he's here and I don't understand like Bert will pace upstairs in in Whistler my my the bedrooms are downstairs and the living room's upstairs yeah and Bert will pace back and forth all morning and the pitter patter of his claws is so fucking annoying he's so annoying at 5 45 every morning he starts pacing

like let's go let's go I want to eat let's go so the idea and every morning I'm like god just go back to bed Bert go back to bed I'm thinking for my bed but every morning Joe would just pop right out of bed and go take them out and then he has no problem like you know at night when I'm stoned and ready to get into bed the last thing I want to do is take them out and he'll do it on a moment's notice like he has a different mental capacity than I do and I'd like to tap into his because I do want to be somebody who wants to take my dogs out yeah but I don't think it's going to happen in this lifetime Catherine I mean let's be realistic you know what I mean well maybe not in their lifetimes because they don't seem like they really want to like go for a hike they seem pretty

lazy no they are that's part of it they just like walk outside listlessly you know and then pee 40 times and on each other oh it's just like it's so exhausting like one of them is sniffing and the other one lifts his leg yes yeah and i have my rugs are both ruined here i'm like i'm fairly certain my entire place just smells like urine so i've basically turned into you know somebody who's basically living like in a trailer park with their dogs. Like a crazy cat lady, but with dogs. Yeah, I know. I'm just like, I've lost all ability for any sort of decorum.

Well, you know what? You're at your vacation home. You can live in Squalor. It's fine. I'm living in Squalor, my white privilege vacation home. Well, today we have a really fun guest, Chelsea. Our guest today is an award-winning actress, and she recently starred in the Emmy-winning drama series, In Treatment. And then she just finished the Broadway production of Clyde's

Painkiller is a new project that is coming out on Netflix. It's a limited series starring her and Matthew Broderick. So please welcome Uzo Aduba. Uzo, how are you? I am great. How are you? How are y'all? Well, I was excited. First of all, I want to say that I just recently saw Uzo's play Clyde in New York, which I think has already ended, right? Did you just wrap? Yeah, we just finished on the 16th of January. Congratulations. Thank you.

Thank you for coming to see us too, by the way. Oh, Joe Coy and I came. Yes, we came and we sat in the back of the theater, not in our assigned seats. We decided to move because Joe had a cocktail and we weren't allowed to bring that in either. So we were breaking laws left and rules left and right coming there. But we loved seeing you.

I love seeing you in action. You know how I feel about your acting. I love it. Thank you. Thanks, lady. This is Catherine, my co-host and producer. Catherine Uzo. Nice to meet you.

I love your hair, Catherine. Thank you. It's just bright pink today and fluffy. And she's always full of color when I get here. How are you doing, Uzo? How has pandemic life been treating you? I heard that you secretly got married during the pandemic. Is that a fact?

That is a fact. Whoa. I sure did. I got married September 12, 2020. Yeah, you know, it wasn't even like, it's not so much I would say like a secret. It's like that expression, like it wasn't a secret. It just wasn't anybody's business

or I wasn't talking about it, you know? We'd been together. It was a long time coming. And it just so happened that a pandemic happened, you know? Like that was meant to happen, but then we all got shuttered in. And so were you able to spend the wedding with your family and your friends and have all the people that were important to you there? Yeah, that was, you know, what's so funny about pandemic?

About pandemic weddings? Weddings, exactly. The thing about pandemic weddings is because you can't have this never ending list of names, you know, people showing up, you really are forced to tailor it down to the allowed number. you know because living in New York especially in that time it was so limited the number of people who could gather so we were forced to really get down to the bones of it and it wound up just being our families in the end and to tell you the honest truth it was awesome it was perfection it was really great because then you know the way you all experience life together you have siblings you know like my brothers and sisters now everybody plays like an even more significant role on the

day you know because it's just you guys yeah did you write your own vows or did you use traditional vows combination wrote and the traditional part like we kept like the swearing part in where it's like do you vow to like or better or worse I'm like I'm gonna need this in writing like I'm gonna need the part like my better and worse parts like you know um we kept those parts but yeah we wrote our own as well and how does it feel to be a married woman it feels the same but different you know it's so funny because right before we were engaged my cousin my little cousin was getting married and she had said this thing we're talking about you know like getting married this and this and she was in the middle of her engagement and she said something like don't mourn being single

because there are really precious things about that that you never are going to get again and I was like what do you mean and she was like you just being able to just truly without explanation get up and go without telling anybody I'm going to Tahiti that's just gone just those little things and I think that's more of the difference checking in was just never something that was like expected of me before and it's like oh now I have to check in that I'm coming home those little things, but I like it. I don't know. I think it just gave me like, uh, that I wanted, not needed, but wanted. Uh-huh. That's interesting. I like the notion of dating, you know, I love having a boyfriend instead of having a husband. Like, I just think it's a sexier sounding thing. And Joe,

and you know, when I talk to my girlfriends about being married, they're like, Gwyneth Palcho said this she said she was when we got engaged we didn't live together for two years or we got married we didn't live together for two years she goes and it just got sexier and hotter our relationship like it became like a flirtation almost like we were married but still not together and she's like so there was this build-up she goes where all of a sudden him being my husband became so much sexier than him being my boyfriend and I was like oh okay let me try and think about it in that framework. Because I always think, wait, weddings is like, okay, then the party's over. That's the last party. And then it's over. And I want the potential for another party to

always be around the corner. Maybe that's the thing. Maybe we should have continuous parties going. You know, even if you're married, you get to have some kind of event that gives you the freedom to be, I don't know, still feel that singlehood. Also, I will say, I think it's different. If I worked in a different industry, maybe where you come home every single day, you know what I mean? Like we have like the fortune of feeling like dating sometimes because you're out of town for work. So you have those little like periods apart, but that make me miss him more, even more like just our day to day. So what did you do with your brothers and sisters on your wedding day? Like what were their responsibilities? Because that is one reason

I would get married to make sure that all my brothers and sisters would be able to share that with me totally well first of all we well they were part of a lot of the readings we had like little things you know like letters that we found like love letters from like poets and musicians to their lovers and things like this that we had thought were really beautiful and had those read which was kind of cool they read that stuff they did the toasts getting us ready it was funny because it was like, we didn't have bridesmaids or groomsmen. They just were like, everybody was a participant. Everybody participated. Like someone did the blessing. Someone did the reading of like, my brother married us. Things like that. Like everybody's hand is in that. My nieces and

nephews were like all the like flower girls. Actually, one of my nieces was the bridesmaid. everybody played every single one of our parents and siblings played a role in the day and that was awesome and how many brothers and sisters do you have i have i'm one of five oh yeah okay so me too yeah one of five and what number are you i'm three middle number you i'm number i'm the youngest, where I fucking belong. That is the only position for me. We'll be right back. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was

kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up Without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to

look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here.

It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me

can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head okay how about we flip the script okay what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity yeah ben stiller no because a lot

of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's the state everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts so you must wear two hats in your family right because you're an older sister to some and a younger sister to others totally and like there's an age gap between my older brother and older

sister and i so like my older sister and i who are she's two and i'm three there's six years between us so like I'm super younger sibling for them you know when I came out and then like then they went to college and left the house and then I was super older sibling over here even though they didn't want me to be like they like kept trying to steal me of my title of like older sibling but like my younger siblings but still super bossy and like would make them so like I definitely like balanced that but then like my younger sister Chi Chi and I we're really close we're a year and a half apart and we're the only ones who are both a year and a half apart both girls and shared a room together our whole lives and even were roommates up until like 10 years

ago so like we had like an almost twin sister yeah right yeah i shared a room with my sister who actually was six years older than me and we did not act like twins she was a pain in my ass from the very beginning and we we had tape we would line our room because we shared a room we put tape oh yeah we put tape down and she taped her side to the side where the door was so she thought that i was gonna have to ask her when i wanted to leave the room i was like no bitch i don't care how much older you are than me like that is don't get it twisted i'm still in charge here let me tell you my sister so me and my sister chichi we shared a room when my older sister moved out when she went to college i moved into her room being like i want my own room but it was

downstairs and it was by myself like nobody else was down there hated it i don't think i even made it like six months by myself down there tried to come back into the room which is ours because she does not own this house and she tried to tell me it was not my room anymore like she tried to be like you can't sleep and i was like i can definitely sleep in here and then i remember she was like well you can only have this and i was like the same like i was like i cannot buy as much space as I want in this room. Move over. Get out of my way. Do you feel like a lot of the stuff that you learned within your family comes into play when you're on sets and kind of like organizing people? Like I know in Orange is the New Black, you guys had this massive cast of people. So like

there were a lot of hats that a lot of you wore. But how do you feel like that has found its way into your work, like your family dynamic? I'll say A, I think cooperation, whether you want to or not depending on the placement of the child to be fair i can't speak for lastborns because my lastborn is like super he's actually very good but like was definitely the most spoiled so i can only speak for like people who have in the middle like of it all but in the definite scheme of things you have to cooperate i think you just let a few more things roll probably because it's not that deep or you know it could go that deep and it's over the stupidest thing you know so like that is something I think I've learned I like to be around a lot of people like I like having

people over I like having people come and stay and stuff probably didn't really faze me that there were for example season one of Orange there weren't enough dressing rooms at the studio for everybody so like they had I think it was Sesame Street because Sesame Street was in this like shot in the same place wherever their dressing rooms were when we would shoot when they weren't shooting or whatever they had a green room that a bunch of us all stayed in you know we would play cards and just like make up games and hang out when the viewers your time to like get ready to shoot there was a conference room just off it and like we'd all go and change in there and i think like making things work doesn't really phase me you know what i mean like you have to just sort

accommodate whatever the situation calls for be accommodating how do you feel now like obviously your career is going great you were amazing and in treatment you were amazing playing shirley chisholm and now you went from your big big break orange is the new black where you're participating in an ensemble cast and now you're moving on and doing stuff on your own like how does that feel to you as an artist are you feeling like you're standing in your power more like this is exactly what you hoped everything would turn into from Orange is the New Black? Yes, but I think you said it right. It's like more.

The operative is like, I feel like I'm standing into my power more. I think in the beginning I was, I don't know, like wobbly-legged, feeling, you know, just, I don't know if anybody else has ever felt this, but like feelings of worth, feelings of value, like should I be occupying this much space or not? You know, all of these questions. Do I belong here even, right? Do I belong here? Yes.

imposter syndrome you know all of these things are like super real and then I don't know there was a coming to an arrival point of like I might not know whether I do or not but I'm gonna stand here a little bit more sturdily you know what I mean absolutely yeah I wish people could see you right now too because you're like feeling these words with your whole body I talk with my hands like so much and like i'll breathe i'll be like you know it's like not and they're like yeah i totally know and i'm like you know i don't know how that plays for podcasts sorry america but that's like my thing but yeah it's that feeling like i feel like i'm coming into myself i also think that's like maturity that plays into that i don't know how you ladies feel like just growing

up generally and realizing like how like you've lived and how whatever sort of like conditions or restrictions have been placed on yourself how has that served me or not and whether I want to continue forward for the rest of the chapters to come with that or not yeah are you are you spiritual yes I could use the language of Christian and those stories because I'm familiar with them but i'm not religious i believe in a god how we call it how we name it i'm less invested in i'm more invested in the knowing that there is something else above me yeah i was talking to my friend and she goes what do you believe in and i said well i just i believe i don't believe in god per se but she goes oh please everyone says they believe in something other than god that

there's something else out there. She's like, that's God. I'm like, no, I'm like, I don't believe in God, but yeah, that's the name we have for it. It's the only name or universe. You know what I mean? They both, they're both not cutting the mustard for me. So it's somewhere in between God and the universe, even though I also believe something else is at play that we're not able to ever recognize or see on the off times that we do feel it, where we feel like we've been touched by something bigger than ourselves, or something's moved in a certain direction for the circumstances to turn out the way they do, it is a humbling experience to be like, oh, wow, this isn't just about me and my decision making. Do you recognize it in the moment? Or do y'all feel it later? Like

when you're reflecting? I mean, the more I meditate, the more I do like, you know, mindfulness and practice that the more I'm open to it being a part of my day every day. I definitely in the past when there has been big moments or shifts, or I've, you know, skirted out of a disaster that I was sailing towards, you know, like things like that, when there's all of a sudden, everything works to make that impossible. Bigger moments previously, but now that I'm a hip to it, I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah. All of these things that are in motion are really have so little to do with you in the end. You know, everything has to come together from so many different directions for something to work out right. That I just assume it's kind of part of everything now.

Gotcha. Do you like now with this business, like you and this massive career that you have had and have had over now decades successfully, like, which is the consistency of your excellence, you know, like at this point, right, that it's not a fluke. Yeah, right, right. Well, no, I mean, I think all of us in any career, I mean, if you're in this business, you do go through periods of self consciousness, where you're like, wait, you can still feel like an imposter, you can still feel like, Oh, God, is it old? Is it too much? Is it the same? Is it blah, blah, blah. But yeah, I leaned I err more on the side of like, you know, I'm at an age now where I know that I'm not an accident. I don't feel like I have imposter syndrome. When I go somewhere, I feel like I belong. And I feel like people are pretty lucky to hang out with me when they get the opportunity. opportunity. Like I feel that way about myself, you know, like I don't spread myself too thin anymore because I care too much about myself and my wellbeing. And I just want to be happy more than anything. Like, I think it takes a lot of self-assuredness to just be able to say, I don't want to work for this period of time. You know, I don't want to do this. I don't have to do this. There's not a desperation, you know, that you have when you're in your twenties, trying to get people to understand that you have something to offer. So if you lay the foundation

and the groundwork over a period of time then we get to step back and go okay I've laid the groundwork for this career now I can have a little bit more fun with it now it's not all my my whole drive or my whole life yes yes but uh yeah I mean you know like being in a relationship that's new for me and I'm fucking loving it I fucking love it and I was not interested in that or looking for that in any major way. So what changed then? Why now? Well, I think with my therapy and everything I did, I just started to look at the world in a much different way. So the person that I've been friends with for 15 years, I saw him in a different light. You know, I didn't ever look at him like that before because I was very closed minded about who I was going to date. And a guy

could wear a pinky ring and I would, you know, sew my vagina shut that night. Like anything could turn me off. Like it could be the simplest little thing. If there's a flip-flop, you know, too close to my eyeline, I'm like, ah, you know, like there are so many small, I once went on a date with a guy who wore an Hermes belt and I fucking lost it. As soon as he got up to go to the bathroom, I got up and left without saying goodbye. I saw it. I was like, oh, and then he was wearing a cologne. I was like, no, that's a deal breaker. I'm not doing that. So after therapy, I was much, I looked at the values rather than material things. Like I'm like, wait, somebody represent, this person is fun and funny and I adore him. And then I was able to like

become attracted to him through a different kind of, yeah, I would say different lenses, how I always say it. I guess that's an apt description. Anyway, enough about me, Uzo. Okay. So today this is what we do on this podcast. We have callers and listeners who call in and write in for advice and then we give it to them straight yes you up for that task girl i'm up for the task okay let's do it katherine is going to lead us in with our first with our first patient oh and uso's a doctor too from in treatment so we're all doctors here except actually you need to go get your community college degree at the very least i do you know what i actually did i attended three colleges and one of them was a community college and it was like they were some

of the best classes i had ever taken it was great i went to community college for a semester right after high school i tried to just throw my parents a bone and said i'll do this yeah for like a semester and then we'll all see what a mistake it is and i went to the county college of morris in new jersey which i bragged to people was one of the top 10 community colleges in the country and i studied russian history for a month and then i was like i gotta get the fuck out of history Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was into SARS and oligarchs and oligarchs and all that shit. Anyway, I went for a semester and then I was like, this is I got to get the fuck out of New Jersey. Like this is bringing me down. Yeah. And then I went to L.A. and I that was the end of community college for me.

Well, we'll take a quick ad break and then we'll be back with some questions. Excellent. it the jonas brothers are running it back we live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest jonas brother hits that have defined a generation one incredible celebration one unforgettable night see the jonas brothers live at rbc amphitheater september 28th get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca Jonas Brothers, the Burn It Up Tour, all over again. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.

I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place.

Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us.

Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. in show business aka the biz and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you

help me can can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head right how about we flip the script okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that it seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of

times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's the state everyone's so dumb except for you fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and we're back and that's how we do it and that's how we roll here at dear chelsea

Here for it. So, Uzo, we have some kind of tricky questions for you today. So, Uzo, be on high alert. I'm ready. I'm ready. Our first question comes from Kay. Dear Chelsea, I was in an awful marriage that was ending, and in a vulnerable state, I made the awful mistake of giving in to an affair. My marriage ended, and my ex never knew of the affair.

However, the man I had the affair with remains married with children, and his wife doesn't know. I'm currently in recovery and grapple with the idea of making amends. I've always thought telling her would do more harm than good. And to make matters more complicated, I was also friends with her. Her husband and mine were coworkers. I was ready to let it go and keep the secret. However, after a year of no contact, her husband has tried to get in touch and back to his dirty ways, trying to start things up again. Gross.

Do I carry this or do I tell her? Kay. Hmm. Whoa. oh it's the coming back initially when i was hearing the story i was just like leave it alone do not address just step out that he's coming back i would be like don't call me again and if you do that i'm going to tell your wife i think you give him the opportunity to like course correct essentially and then if he doesn't then like straighten him up it sucks that they have kids

it sucks that that happened it happens but it also kind of sounds like in that letter like she's do you want to go back into it are you looking for i think she is not wanting to get back into it she's mended her ways and feels bad about it it seems to me that she's not interested my question would be like if she says no to him is he just gonna go find somebody else well yeah sounds like he's already in an unhappy yeah I mean that's not her problem like what he's up to is not your problem because as long as the relationship's over it's not your problem but if you said you were friends with his ex like how close to friends I would say first of all like is that a good friend of yours because if it is a good friend of yours I mean I think every woman

owes it to other women to be truthful and honest especially in these kinds of circumstances if she wasn't a really good friend of yours you might feel differently and then it's like you're going and blowing up this family that it's not really your family to blow it up and you're not having an active affair with him. So I would say, A, consider the level of friendship you have with this woman and like what kind of honesty you think you owe her. And B, yeah, do what Uzo did. If he calls you again, go, listen, I'm not interested anymore. If you want, you know, if you call me again, I'm going to contact your wife. And that should nip everything in the bud anyway. I don't know how I feel about going in like blowing up another person's family. That's not. That's like

a heavy thing to do and i don't think by the way that they're the act of their friends because didn't it say that she was her husband and the wife worked together so it's like it's not like this is like her from school like you know right friends by proxy of the ex that it's like leave it alone yeah i mean it's tempting yeah when there are children involved i just would say leave it alone just don't even go down that road and if you have to get them off your jock just tell him you know the thing that's going to get him off of your jock which is that you're going to tell his wife that usually works it seems to work yeah more effective than get lost i suppose yeah having affairs is you know it's so upsetting but it's also so fucking common like so many

people have extramarital affairs you're just like oh god i wish it weren't so regular yeah well and it's like how yeah just fucking don't even get me started you mean you mean the time commitment Like how people can even have the time to balance? How are you even doing it is the magic that I'm fascinated by. Yeah, exactly. Like one relationship is enough for us. Yes. Aren't you scared?

Anyway. Yeah. Or too busy. Well, our next question, and this is a caller. Dear Chelsea, I'm a 26-year-old single woman from Chicago. I come from a large family and have five siblings. I recently found out my mom has not paid the property taxes on my childhood home in five years, and the property is about to be seized. I am, however, in the financial position to get a mortgage on the house, pay the taxes, and make necessary house repairs.

The issue is, I can't afford both the mortgage and my rent. I don't trust my mom to pay the mortgage since she hasn't paid the property taxes in five years and is generally bad with money, And as the only financially stable person in the family, I can't have my credit tanked with missing payments. So my two choices are, one, give up my cute bachelorette pad and get a mortgage, pay the taxes and make repairs, and move back home with my family. Or two, keep my dating and social life intact, say it's not my problem, and watch my family fall into homelessness. Any advice? Thanks, Jennifer. Fuck.

I know, it's a tricky one. Those are big decisions. There's also a Jennifer's here. Oh, thank God. Okay, good. Hi. Hi, Jennifer. We have Uzo on today too, as our guest. Hi, nice to meet you guys. Hi, Jennifer. Hi, I'm sorry. You're dealing with that. It happened. It's life. Yeah, I know. We have so much baggage from our family. It is like,

Oh, look at that cute little, what was that a cat? It's already gone. Yeah, it's a cat. Tell him I say meow. What? So what's this? Who's who lives with your mom in the house now? So currently it's my two brothers who are in college and then my older sister who is disabled. Okay. And did you have a conversation with your mom about these payments not being? Yeah. I mean, I talked to her about it and she, it is what it is. I mean, she's a teacher and a single mom, so she just couldn't pay them. And is she freaking out that the house might be seized? Yeah, definitely. Definitely.

Yeah. And how would you feel if you didn't step in and save the day? Yeah, it's tough because it's like part of me wants to like put on my cape, you know, and come save the day. But another part is like maybe I just kind of have big sister syndrome and I just feel like I need to swoop in and save my siblings because just kind of what big sisters do, you know, so it's kind of hard. I'm kind of at uh my dating prime just turned 27 living it up in the city got a cute apartment and you know I don't really want to give that up but it's like I am empathizing with my brothers and I couldn't imagine if I were in college and my life got turned upside down I didn't have stability I probably wouldn't have turned out as good as I did I wouldn't be in the position to do what I'm doing and it's like I want to give my brothers a chance to start off their life on the right foot but it's like wow at the expense of my own life you know so it's kind of tough it's

kind of tough yeah that's a big responsibility uzo what are your thoughts well that's totally a lot and you know just sort of echoing what chelsea said i'm sorry that you're going through that i can only imagine day to day what you're thinking about my question would be you could jump in and save the day today yeah and what happens after today what happens tomorrow yeah the way I kind of looked at it is like this wouldn't be a permanent solution I mean I essentially I'm thinking like if I do this it's going to be a three-year plan and just kind of reevaluate how everything is going because my biggest thing is just making sure my brothers are settled and they graduate college and they get settled in their careers and things like that so

it's like, they're still kind of kids because they're teenagers. This wouldn't be a long-term thing. Like after three years, I would kind of reassess the situation. But at the same time, it's like, in three years, I'm going to be in my thirties. I'm like sacrificing the end of my twenties to do the family thing, you know. Which is a hundred in twenties years, by the way. Exactly, exactly. I don't know your family. I understand and totally empathize and sympathize with the desire to swoop in and jump in. I wonder if there's a middle that can be found, if perhaps there's a

world where you could stay in your great apartment that you have worked for and been excited about and aspiring towards over the years, and if there is a way of helping your mom and your siblings into another housing situation that maybe isn't this, that's sounding like it might be a little bit difficult for them to manage month to month yeah that's another thing I was thinking about so another option is we sell the house we try to find another living situation but it's like my grandparents bought this house in like the 80s I'm not going to find anything cheaper to house my family in so it's like moving to a different housing situation would just kind of add to the financial strain because this is essentially the cheapest option I could help

my mom, she could save some money and get on her feet. I mean, I'd also be saving money, but I mean, I'm already on my feet, so that's not really an issue. So it's like moving. I feel like moving into a different house just kind of pushes the issue down the road a little bit. Like if we can't afford this living situation, they're not really going to be able to afford any other living situation. Honestly, I think you're just going to have to, I would go home and move in and just make sure that my brothers and sisters are looked after and until they're on their feet you know you have a another sister you said you mentioned I think it's it's three year if you have it in your head you sound like you have you're a planner and you're looking at

the long game instead of the short game which is a huge advantage you know you can look at it like three years it's not like you can't date while you're living at your mom's house I mean anyone who hears this story is going to be like oh my god you're a fucking badass you know you went in to save the day like you know shira princess of power going in and helping your family like first of all that's very attractive and you know it's a perfect example for you to go check out guys houses so that you can go listen we can't go back to my fucking mother's house so i need to go see where you live and what's going on with your situation and i think you're gonna have a lot of self-worth for doing that for your family you're not gonna let your mom get kicked out of

her house not if you can do something about it it's just not even probably in your dna to do that yeah at the end of the day if it comes down to it like them having somewhere to go and not having somewhere to go you're gonna make sure that your parents and your family's house exactly i don't want to do nothing and then i'm in my one bedroom apartment big thing i don't want to like tell you what to do but at the same time it's like this is your family and it's like yes dating is cool but like no one can ever replace those people period point blank yeah it's gonna come and go really quickly. You'll be in your 35 years. Yeah. That's when the party really gets started. Anyway, Jennifer, is that 30? That's when the party officially starts. Right now you're just

pre-gaming. This is all just like tailgating. Question for you, Jennifer, is your mom in financial duress like right now or strained financially because of the pandemic? I think, I mean, partially the pandemic. Yeah. Partially just because she's a teacher. Well, another avenue for you to explore. I don't know if you've listened to us on this podcast when we talk about Pandemic of Love, but my friend Shelly Tagilsky runs Pandemic of Love and they can figure out financial aid mutual. They do mutual financial aid for people. So if you go DM her on Instagram, it's at Mindful Skate Girl is her handle. Mindful Skater Girl. Mindful Skater Girl. Say you're a friend of mine and just inquire about mutual aid because she runs this foundation and

they've exchanged 60 million dollars over the last couple of years with people who need help because of the pandemic so try that too and see if anything can happen there because a lot of our callers have used that resource and it's been really helpful for so many people oh nice thank you yeah yeah so go dm her and keep us posted what you decide to do please all right we'll do yeah you're not going to go wrong sticking with your family and coming in and saving the day you're never going to go wrong being florence nightingale that's good as long as it's for the right people you know your relatives yeah yeah i agree i've spent many hours talking to my therapist about it so just coming down to making a decision good good for you the way you're making

the decision is good good for you strong-minded yeah well thank you so much jennifer and we wish you best of luck thank you bye take care all right bye wow hopefully shelly can just help them and then that will be the end of that conversation that'll be amazing my friend shelly runs this organization Uzo it's incredible they just give money away to people a million dollars that's a I think it's more than that now it's it's a lot yeah because it's been going on since the beginning of the pandemic but she just finds people to match with other people so whoever's like going through a hard time could find a donor in San Francisco or you know some guy who has money that why he wants to help out with and then you can kind of cultivate a relationship with these people

your donor and then you know when you fall on hard times if the donors ever fall on hard times they go right back to the source of where they were giving money from. So it's a great, nice circular system. Yeah. I mean, for anybody who's doing something like that, I would just say if she does need to move back in with her family, like set really clear expectations, whether or not you see an attorney, like do that in writing. So everybody knows like here's how much mom is going to pay in rent, even though she's taking care of the taxes. Maybe the older brothers have like a part time job and they can contribute, you know, a small amount, but meaningfully toward toward rent toward the living situation so that she can get back to the city and do fun stuff again.

It reminds me of like when I told my brothers and sisters, I was like, okay, I've had it. Like, I want dad to move to my house in LA. I'm going to get 24 hour care. He's going to be at my house. He was in a wheelchair at this point. And my brothers and sisters were like, that's a terrible idea. We're not allowing you to do that. I was like, wait, I can afford 24 hour care. I can do all this. They're like, Chelsea, you emotionally cannot handle dad in your house. It doesn't matter what part of the house you think you're in. As your brothers and sisters we are videoing this idea and I was like oh thank god I didn't go through with that but I'm a different personality you know I don't have little brothers because if I had anyone

little to look after I would just do whatever I needed to do obviously she totally said it right with older sister syndrome it's hard I was hearing her and I was like I totally hear you and it's tough because you're just like wanting to set sail but at the same time it's your family and i honestly like can see both sides like whatever choice somebody like jennifer were to make you still would have to like show up for your family in some capacity you know even if you decide to stay where you are you're gonna have to step in at some point yeah families are hard very much so get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit.

Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.

I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. but these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page

are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,

the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman.

Not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head? How about we flip the script? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird? Adam Scott, this entire time, you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never let go of that. I have never set expectations for something like that.

It seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm open to it. I'm always going to accept, you know, Danny McBride. Fine. Yeah. It's all this fragile masculinity exuding. I could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you. I was like, is that weed? Nope.

It's fragile masculinity. Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times, out of context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is. You know what I mean? They're so stupid. Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake. Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life.

I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us, not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is, and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our next question comes from Francisco. He says, Dear Chelsea, my mom passed right after the pandemic started. My husband and I live in San Diego, and my family is still in Arizona.

I'm a kidney transplant recipient, so my husband and I were in a strict quarantine. While she was dying, we were able to see her, of course using masks. My family respected and understood the precautions we were taking, but weren't taking this seriously, and no one was wearing masks. I narrowly missed her passing since we were driving to the hospital when she died, and I was devastated. We siblings all agreed that we would cremate her and then wait until the pandemic had, quote, passed, then do a memorial and spread her ashes at her mom's grave. We waited almost a year, and my siblings decided to go through with the service, spreading her ashes. I told them I couldn't go. It was during a huge spike in COVID cases. I begged them to please wait until I was vaccinated.

At this time, they had just started giving out vaccines to frontline workers, and then immunocompromised would be next. They said no. I asked them to please just save me a small amount of ashes. Again, they said no, because the Catholic Church doesn't condone splitting the ashes. Growing up, we always made decisions by majority vote. I asked for a vote, and everyone voted no, even the sister I was closest with. I was so heartbroken. They laid her to rest without me.

I feel like I was not allowed to have closure. I feel they cheated me out of saying goodbye, and I haven't spoken to any of them since. I'm angry and I can't let this go. I've visited my mom several times since. I've laid on the grass and just talked to her. I miss my family, but I can't seem to get over this. I'd appreciate any advice. Francisco.

That's heartbreaking. I know. It sounds like a bunch of people that didn't take COVID seriously and then can't believe that somebody's being cautious, you know? Like, oh, come on, you're not going to get it. I hate that attitude. It's like, it's not up to you whether someone else gets COVID. Yeah, I understand you being mad at your family.

You have every right to be upset with your family. So give that as much time as you need. And I think in the meantime, a great idea for you. I'm glad you're able to visit your mom at the memoriam where the ashes are, I guess, is where she's visiting her? At her mother's grave. So it goes to the gravesite. Yeah. But there are ashes, not a grave, though, right?

Okay. Correct. So you should really plan something for yourself. Like for you to give your mother the goodbye that you is going to give you the closure, whether it's a small ceremony with you and your husband or you and your plan something, make it an event for you to say goodbye to your mother, write something down that you want to read to her, you know, bring the flowers, bring your friends. If you want to do it with your, a whole group of your people, then do that. But you have every right to celebrate your mother's

passing. And I say celebrate because you want to celebrate her life, right? You want to pay respect to the fact of how long she was here and all the beautiful memories you have. And the fact that she's not ever going to leave her child's side so she's always going to be here in some capacity you just don't get to see her anymore and I firmly believe in that but you need to just have your day and have your funeral independent of your brothers and sisters and when you are at a place that you're able to forgive them then you can revisit that but there's no rush to forgive them because they robbed you of saying goodbye to your mother and I don't want you to sit in that for too long because then they've controlled your experience and now you need to take control back

of your experience. What do you think, Uzo? That is like super heartbreaking. It's sad because I feel like COVID has done so much to divide so many people and that your siblings that sound like are like not believers in it is sad, you know, and didn't have the compassion to understand your medical state, you know, and in, you know, compromised state to wait is unfortunate but I would say yes you should have maybe a celebration of life you know along her like one year maybe or something like that could be really nice I do think it's important especially when parents go you know I know what that feels like it's important for like siblings to find their way back to like whoever or whatever they were before like their parents left because it's

really easy when parents aren't there sort of like sewing in the middle between each of you and helping to keep the peace over the like silly or big fights that you have for those things to go on for like much longer than maybe most parents would allow you give yourself the space because you are entitled to it to like feel what you're feeling but i if these are siblings who you were close to and like you had relationship with previous to your mother leaving it may be worth finding a time when you are calm and you can say what you feel without concern of how it's responded to like sit your siblings down and really tell them how your feelings were because it sounds like that that is what it is at the end of the day like not just the robbery of not being

able to participate in your mom but like you hurt my feelings and that's sometimes like the baseline thing I think most people can't ignore when you say that like my feelings were hurt you know forget about like how they were like they were hurt that they hopefully will be able to hear that and like a conversation can start and how do we work to heal that wound for both of us because I imagine they maybe had hurt feelings for me what they perceive as your absence but how do we come back to you know just really sort of like opening ourselves up to a vulnerable enough place of saying like my feelings are hurt and why and maybe that will pave some of those inroads because if you were family previous to your mom I would imagine your mom would want you to come back to

being family again for sure that's that's what it makes me think of too is like your mom would want you to at some point forgive and get to a place where you can have a relationship maybe it's with all your siblings maybe it's just with the sister that you were super close with but yeah I think it was right starting from a place of vulnerability when you are ready for that and just coming to them with that yeah I mean I feel that way about my mom when she died told me like you better keep this family together she said that when she was dying on her deathbed like I'm counting on you you need to take care of this one and you need to take care of your brother she said that to me and I took it like that is everything I do is without intention because of my you know she never asked

me for a single thing and like i think any mother's wish is for her family to be together once she's gone thousand percent my mom may she rest she just left us a year and change ago before leaving was like this you people she always called this you people like you people you know who must stay together you know and um i remember right after her internment my siblings and I were in a group hug and saying that, you know, and just really the biggest way we could honor our parents would be to still love and be in each other's lives. The shame would be like, if we let that collapse,

all of that work that had been done, particularly by this one here, if that fell, if it was only she was the foundation, you know what I'm saying? And there's no way, there's no way. I love so much of what I do. I love my friends. I love everything else in my life.

nothing that matches will ever match my family and even though I'm building my own family now like that core family it's just not where I'm 10 there's nothing was your mom able to see you get married Uzo she did isn't it crazy life events we've talked about this before somebody leaves your life and then this I know you've been together with your partner for a long time but the wedding you know comes the times go together like somebody leaves and then there's a baby born or there's a wedding or there's a marriage. It's just the way things work like that. As certain people exit out of our lives, other big events enter. And I've always been fascinated by that. You know, after my mom died, so many major things happened to me. I fell in love for the first time

I was starting my TV show, one of my first TV shows. And it was just like, I was like, God, this is such an interesting dichotomy. Like I'm experiencing such loss, but I have so many distractions and so many things where my life was just beginning a thousand percent like you know right after my mom passed away my sister chichi she just was pregnant she just had her baby a couple months ago delivered just short of a year after my mother passed away and like what a miracle you know like we say like when she when she said she was pregnant it was like oh my gosh after the rain always comes the sun that's what i kept hearing you know what i mean and like thinking and it's like yes absolutely and look at this beautiful baby girl now in our lives starting out

in a new marriage I'll also say this I make this joke like with my siblings I don't know if like when you first get to heaven you get like a fresh batch of miracles or what the journey you get like scooted to the front of the line from like the older angels you know what I mean It's like rain, a lot of like stuff out there. And I was like, you guys better get your wishes in line and order. And you know what I mean? And start asking mom for what you want, because she's like up there. Like, I don't know how long this lasts.

So you guys. Right. I don't know how long I've got this fairy dust for. So get your shit together. Yes. Totally. Like filing out miracles left and right. So that makes me feel good when I think about it.

Well, our last question today comes from Cheyenne. She's also on the phone. Cheyenne says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 25 year old from Minnesota. When I was about two years old, my uncle Brian went missing. He disappeared after going on a trip to Vegas. My dad's side of the family does not talk about their feelings or any family history. I've always been fascinated and concerned by my family's lack of interest in finding out what happened to my uncle. So in college, I started digging for more information, and as I found out more details, parts of my family, mostly my grandparents, got very upset by this. My grandma even stopped talking to my dad for a while, specifically because of this. How do I balance my interest and concern for finding out more about my uncle's whereabouts without making more issues with that side of the family? Thanks, Cheyenne.

Hi, Cheyenne. Hi. Hi, this is Uzo. Hi, it's nice to meet you. You too. Hi, Cheyenne. So you started looking into your uncle's murder or disappearance, right? You don't know that he was murdered?

Yeah, we really have no idea what happened to him. Basically, all we know is he went to Vegas and they found his car in California. And there has been nothing since then. And there hasn't been any police reports made on it. So there's been a lot of frustration with me, with my family, just because I'm like, well, why aren't you doing anything? And yeah, that's kind of where I'm at. It sounds like the perfect opportunity for you to start a podcast and track your uncle down. Yeah, that's what a lot of people have told me. I mean, you have every right to pursue this and find out all of the stuff that you want to find out. Just obviously, your family's not interested in hearing it. So it's not necessary for you to share all of your findings with them, is it? Yeah, I don't think so. For me, I'm so open to doing this and figuring out all I can figure out because even though I was very young when he disappeared, I care about it a lot for whatever reason. But I just get worried about my dad and my grandma's relationship because since I started looking into it, she's gotten weird about it.

And I don't know why that is. And it makes me suspicious, but I don't want to think that way. But the thing that holds me back from digging into it is ruining their relationship. I'm seeing Chelsea in the, if you are going to pursue it, you don't have to tell anybody in your family. You don't have to bring them into it. If it's your personal pursuit, it's your personal pursuit. They have their reasons.

You know, I don't know what a mother's reason would be for not wanting to know what happened to her son or a brother's reason would be for that. But they have their reasons. And I would guess that you have to respect their reasons, whatever the reason is. Is it your grandmother finding it? Like, can your dad just not talk to your grandmother about it? Or do you have to stop talking to your dad about it? No, my dad, he he's pretty open to talking about it. I honestly don't really talk to my grandma much to begin with. So the last time I brought it up, I told my dad what I had found out and stuff. And it was things that he didn't know. Like what? What did you find out?

It's kind of something I probably shouldn't get into. I don't know. I don't really know like the details of it. So I don't want to say anything or come to any conclusions before or I know the actual details of it, but I had told him that information and he confronted my grandma about that information and she got upset and stopped talking to him for a little while. And so it's like having that, he's kind of the middleman in the situation. And I'm like, oh, I don't want your relationship with her to get ruined because of me. I think when you have a notion or an instinct that's strong, a like your curiosity in this, you should just follow that. Like when you're interested in something and you have a passion for it, there's no question then who gives a fuck what your grandmother thinks. You don't even care, really. So just don't loop her in. And, you know, you don't even need, you know, loop your dad in when you find something concrete, if you find something concrete. But yeah, pursue it. You know, you know, who knows what you're going to find out? Yeah, I'm not.

Okay. Thank you. It's kind of one of those things. I know the answer to the question. I just need someone to tell me to go do it. Yeah. And Crime Junkie just did an episode about a missing person, and they were working with someone who had sort of been looking for her missing mother, and they did a whole episode

on it, asked for leads from their huge number of followers. So that might be an avenue as well, like going to somebody who already has a following and saying, hey, here's the information I do have. Can you help me dig into this? Good idea. Yeah. Yeah, that is a good idea. But yeah, it's your right. He's, you know, he's related to you as well.

Even if you didn't know him because you were two, you know, you're allowed to have that curiosity. I mean, think how nice he'd feel if he knew that his little niece, who was two years old when he died, is still, you know, thinking about him all the time. Like he deserves to be found. Yeah. Yeah, no, definitely. And I'll totally look into reaching out to other resources and that kind of thing too. Yeah, absolutely. And I would also say potentially try doing a 23andMe. There are some resources that you can look at for submitting your DNA if you do something like that to databases that are specifically for missing persons. And I believe it's called the DNA Doe Project. So take a

look at that. You can submit your DNA there. And that way, if he is a doe somewhere and he was found, but no one knows where he came from because he was in a different state and all these different things, they can help identify him with that. Okay. Yeah, I'll definitely look into that. I feel like we're hosting a crime podcast right now. Wow. Look at all the resources, Catherine. I was coming in hot with some good stuff. I love murder podcasts. I'm a diehard murder you know so all right well good luck Cheyenne let us know if anything transpires if you find anything out okay yeah yeah thank you so much it was great talking to you guys you too bye Cheyenne bye this was what what a pen uh panoply a panoply I was gonna say a panoply

what a panoply of uh callers and questions today yes little murder well I guess I should stop saying he's murdered they don't know that yes or locked up I still thought oh oh yeah yeah that's a good one maybe the mom knows but the rest you know I mean uh-huh yeah exactly like what mother wouldn't be interested in finding out about that what happened to her child so there you go yeah witness protection it could go a lot of ways a lot of ways well we'll take a quick ad break and then we'll be back with Uzo and Chelsea get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details

and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.

It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show.

we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head right how about we flip this around okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's

fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this everyone's so dumb except for you fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Yay! Well, Uzo, did you have any advice that you wanted to ask for from Chelsea? Yes. Is it just one question I can ask? Whatever you

want, girl. Okay, okay. Talking about marriage, right? When it comes to Spotify, so we both had our individual playlists follow me here it's pressing like I know it sounds small but you both have your individual Spotify accounts do we cancel one and now start a whole I don't know about you guys about like how many likes or playlists you have going I have a lot we have a Do we cancel one account and then start all over or just keep the two accounts going?

I feel like you should keep the two accounts going because that's a long history of both of you. Right. And you can start one together, but don't erase the other two. Well, there's a word. Yeah. Right. this is a real question I was like I've been waffling with this for a while I also like this Spotify iTunes all of this can all fall under the umbrella of like iTunes like movie accounts too like you know all of this is lives in the same house yeah well throw me a couple of playlists if you've got some extras I could always use a new playlist on Spotify so why don't you text me that so i can download it because i am terrible at making spotify playlists

and so anytime anybody has a good one i'm like please yeah upbeat good chill like i love anything so yeah send them my way i'll send you an array of music yes okay that is a real question that i've been like sort of hammering back and forth about i have to tell you uzo i wish we got more questions like that like it's a real one though right don't you see you see what i'm saying yes we're paying for the exact same thing but at the same time it's like i don't know realistically if i have the energy to like text and send myself every single playlist you don't i'm gonna answer for you you don't i don't and i'm also not sure once i've texted and sent it to myself once i deactivate the account if I can retrieve it. So then what we're really talking about is

screenshotting every account and then physically going back. Do you know what I mean? Because I can send it to myself and it works. But then once I deactivate the account, does the playlist still exist? No. Yeah. I think you need to hold onto your playlist. And I think so does he. This is a real question. What else am I thinking about? Oh, okay. Do we want a second dog? Yes. I've never had, we have one. We have an Airedale Terrier, Fenway Bark, as his name goes off. And do we want a second dog?

And is it hard to manage two? I know you love dogs, but. Yeah, and listen, I'm not managing them, okay? My housekeeper and my dog walker are, so I'll be honest about that. But listen, two dogs is always better than one dog. So, like, as soon as you get another dog, you're going to be like, how did we not always have two dogs? Okay. it's not more you don't think no makes your family even like more whole it's just the best

you know four is better than three in a house until you have babies or whatever you're planning just dogs are just winners it's always a win i love benway so much already like but i was i've never this is my first dog i've never had a dog before so and i love him so much and he's such a good dog. But like, I don't know anything about dogs, you know, except for what I know of Fenway. And I'm like, I don't know what this means to dogs. And I also don't know because he's five and a half. Does it matter if you bring, you know what I mean? Like, is he going to be dominant to you know what I'm saying? They usually figure it out. You know what I mean? Once they realize they're in the same house together, they suss it out and they just kind of like operate together.

So it doesn't really matter what age the other dog is. You just kind of like throw them in together and you're like here's a situation everybody level up and then they do do you agree with that i do i think at five and a half he's not gonna be like too old and grumpy that he'll be mean about a puppy he'll be he'll be okay it's good it's actually a great time because it's going to re-energize your the dog you have and give him an extra lease on life and an extra couple of years yeah and also dogs are pack animals so i feel like as people are going back to work more or traveling more as the pandemic is hopefully waning they'll have each other to hang out with and have a lot less what do they call it when like separation anxiety like if you guys need

to travel a lot or you go away for a week or whatever they'll have each other okay thanks y'all yeah thanks for bringing some real questions to the table who's up yeah love it loved having you today thank you so much thank you for having me this is great appreciate you both Bye, Catherine. Bye, Chelsea. Bye. Bye, honey. Have a great day.

Thank you. You too. Bye. She's so great. Yeah, she's cool. She's got a very calming voice and way of talking. It's very calming. Oh, guys, we have new merch available.

Dear Chelsea merch. So you can get Dear Chelsea t-shirts or hats. Hats. They're really cute, though. We picked out cute colors. And yeah. And what about the flip flops? No flip flops.

No flip flops. Okay, well, that's for the best, anyway. I mean, that's off-brand for you. That's off-brand, but I thought it would be funny anyway, only to sell female flip-flops. Well, and gay men can wear them. Yeah. It's just not straight.

Anyone who gets a pedicure on a regular basis. Yes, exactly. But yeah, we have merch now. How cute is that? Yay! So go to chelseahandler.com to buy your merch. Yes. Okay.

We've added some second shows in areas. I'm filming my next stand-up special at the Ryman in Nashville. so tickets are now on sale for that and we've added second shows in DC and at the Wiltern in Los Angeles and oh San Francisco yeah we're adding a second show in San Francisco at the Masonic and that weekend I perform at the Masonic two shows and then Joe Coy performs the next night and the next night and at some arena in San Francisco so we're going to be both performing in the same city the same weekend so how fun oh my goodness just a couple descending on a city and just doing wonderful things yeah descending on our hot air balloon that's how we like to enter

cities oh okay so if you're looking to write into this podcast i get so many dms on instagram not knowing how to it's dear chelsea project at gmail.com gmail.com so you can write in for any questions you have that you want advice on. If you're seeking advice about relationships, about work stuff, about sex stuff, about animal stuff, but not with sex, like that's a separate topic. And then anything that's going on, interpersonal affairs we like, affairs we like, well, we don't like, but we like giving advice about them. If you're just in a situation where you're feeling kind of unmotivated and you need a kick in the ass, you know, whatever, but don't be shy because We love our callers.

And this has been going just so swimmingly, Catherine. Yeah. We have so many interesting people that call in and with really interesting problems. And then they double back with us and give us updates, which is so nice. Yeah, it's great. So nice to see progress. And people always think like, oh, I never thought you were going to get to my question. It's like, no, we're going through them all.

So we just might pick yours. Okay. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. I survived nine months in captivity. and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.

Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for

anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by.

Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you probably won.

Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B.

I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.