Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - A Lately Reunion with Guy Branum

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

Writer and comedian Guy Branum joins Chelsea to chat about pop culture,  polyamory, and their Chelsea Lately days.  Then: A girlfriend is ready for the next step but her parents don’t approve.  A comic loses her following after a dig at *45*.  An ex-boyfriend is curious to know if his man cheated… even though they were open.   * Follow Guy Branum on IG & Tiktok!  Find Lindy West’s book Adult Braces here Follow Leah Knauer here  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Celebrating 70 years, family-owned and operated. Visit plazaautogroup.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survived what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable. Abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by

Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Adina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you probably won.

Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, guys, I am officially on my high and mighty tour. March 20th is Denver, Colorado. March 27th, Portland, Maine

March 28th, Providence, Rhode Island March 29th, Springfield, Massachusetts April 10th is Chicago I'll be at the Chicago Theater April 11th, Indianapolis, Indiana April 12th, Louisville, Kentucky April 16th is Albuquerque, New Mexico April 17th is Mesa, Arizona

April 23rd is Kansas City, Missouri April 24th is St. Louis, Missouri April 25th is Minneapolis Minnesota April 30th Nashville Tennessee May 1st is Charlotte North Carolina May 2nd is Durham North Carolina May 6th I'm doing Netflix is a joke festival I will be in Los Angeles May 15th Saratoga California May 16th Monterey California May 17th Modesto California and then June 4th Port Chester New York June 5th is Boston Mass and June 12th is Portland Oregon and then Seattle is June 13th. I'm doing a second show at the Paramount Theater in Denver on Saturday, December

5th. So suck on that, everybody. Go to ChelseaHandler.com for tickets. Hi. Hi, Catherine. Good morning, Chelsea. Good morning. Are you skiing right now? I'm in Aspen. Yes, we're skiing. Yes, the conditions are, well, it's beautiful here, so it doesn't even matter. There's no snow anywhere in this world i don't think anymore but um yes i was hosting a gala a gala oh for children's oncology like uh cosf in aspen where they were honoring goldie hawn my mother my illegitimate mother and so i was the host and so i brought some friends and we skied yesterday and we're gonna ski today then i have shows this weekend in springfield massachusetts and portland domain and rhode island oh my gosh sorry does goldie know about your uh private benjamin fiasco

oh yeah she knows about it and i did it and my my whole monologue was about my private benjamin fiasco where i pretended to be goldie where i pretended i was playing goldie hawn's daughter in the sequel to private benjamin but there was never a sequel to private benjamin so but i needed people in third grade to respect me do you know what i mean Absolutely. Absolutely. I spent the weekend going to San Diego to see my sister and nephew because he's looking at schools there. And I decided instead of driving the two hours to take the train for four hours.

And how did that go? It was actually wonderful because it's the surf liner. It goes along the coast. I got to watch the sunset. I like added a little whimsy to my life. I was very excited. Oh, nice. Whimsy.

I like whimsy for a train. You know, I'm a Jew. So Trains and I, I have an allergic reaction to Trains. It's intergenerational trauma. Yes, that's totally fair. Anyway, we have a very funny guest today. He's one of my old friends, and you'll know him from Chelsea Lately, among other things. He's on Platonic.

He's been on Hacks. He's a very, very funny writer, comedian. I wanted to just have a nice time with an old friend. Please welcome Guy Branum. Brad looks disheveled today. He looks like something happened. We're trying a new hairstyle. we're trying oh i see i see we're in the glow out phase tell him you like it

i told that to cowboy too i was like how we had this hair where he had like bangs and i was like and i was like pushing his hair back i'm like you're gorgeous why do you have your hair in your face like 12 also i didn't realize it was 37 i love that for you cowboy cowboy yeah possibly but i forgot it if you need a 37 year old i can't go older now i'm 51 you need some life. You need some life. I know. You need somebody also to keep you up to speed on things. Also, and I said this to you before, but I honestly feel like if I

were a woman, I would not want to date anyone who was raised in the gender reality that we were raised in. You know? I would want somebody with, like, a mom who was a little more politicized, you know? Exactly. That's exactly how I feel, exactly, because we were just talking about this. Yeah, getting the update.

Yeah, getting the iPhone update. There are men that are over 50 that have not gotten the iPhone update where they don't understand gender. They don't understand racism. They haven't actually taken any steps to, like, disabuse all of the knowledge that they have been falsely fed. Yes. And they don't get it. So, like, younger is better because anyone under—I was trying to say—we were talking to Gaten Madarazo from Stranger Things.

So he's 23. Yeah. So he's with it. Yes. But, like, I was trying to include Cowboy because he's under 40. But it's really under 30. Yes. That people get it unless you're a person of color or gay or a part of the LGBT community, you know, like all of any of those things.

But it's really. And we all need our updates. There really are like as I get older, realizing it's like, oh, I do have to just think about should I be seeing this differently? And there are some things where the children I am like you're being idiots about this, but I will respect it. And there are other things where they're right. And it's like, OK, it's time to get with the program. Yeah. Like, you know, the R word.

okay I'm not gonna say it here I don't think it's the most offensive word but it doesn't matter what if I think it's the most offensive word it's offensive to people the hilarious thing is is that like at shitty open mics now the the little boy comics are doing like a six minute walk to get a hilarious excuse to say the r word the way that they used to with f slurs or like you know the n word back in the day and it is just sort of like it's like it feels like progress that the their bad boy activity is something like that you know

right and they think they're being so original yes but with our word like Yamanika do you know Yamanika yes of course

so she opens for me a lot on the road right and she's crazy you know this right she's something's wrong with her hilarious

yeah hilarious and crazy and I can physically take her down I just want to say I do it every night I fucking tackle her for somebody

the other night we were in Cleveland and we were walking out of the car she was staying at an Airbnb B or a brothel. Who knows? And she literally

the wind was so intense in Cleveland that she literally couldn't balance her. She could not stabilize her body. This woman is 100 pounds more than I weigh. I had to get out of the car because I saw the look of fear in her eyes. I was like, oh my God, she doesn't think she can do it.

Make the walk. It was like 50 yards. I get out of the car. I grab her. I stabilize her. I'm her ballast. And we get her to the door. And she's like, oh my God, that wind is so scary and then she's like how the fuck are you so strong and i'm like i don't know do you feel your abs because like that's a center of gravity right right i mean there's it makes no sense we were trying to figure out actually what happens when the wind blows that hard and doesn't knock you over versus when it does i mean is this is this an argument for chair pilates should

more of us be doing chair possibly yes possibly or or because like even when i ski and the wind is crazy people aren't getting knocked over so what what like mile per hour wind do you need to actually be knocked over as a person who weighs 130 pounds I mean it is very exciting when you have a wind that really does make you feel like uh-oh getting tossed around by a wave I love but yeah I mean I think it's all about core but like you're you're a big fan of like the core strength sports yeah I'm a big fan of being strong like I love being strong because otherwise what am I gonna do? You know what I mean? I can't have people like her thinking they can

fucking beat me up or pick you up or whatever. You've been going out on the road with Yamanika. You've been having Megan Gailey time. You've been having a lovely community of ladies around you. Who else have you been going out on the road with? Rachel Feinstein has been opening for me a little bit. Amina Amani.

Do you know Amina? I'm not familiar. She's really funny. She's out of New York. I'm about to announce a new bouchee date, so I'm gonna give her some too, because I can't put all my Yamanika and I she slept with me twice this weekend she double booked her hotels she's so fucking disorganized so

I was like you can sleep in my room and after this weekend I literally couldn't I was like I feel like I haven't slept in 36 hours so I can't put all my eggs in one basket with Yamanika do you know what I mean? You do also love having someone to chit chat with in the hotel room I do I do I mean I'm a girl

you know what I mean I love it so okay Guy Branum we used to work together on Chelsea Lately and Chelsea Lately days. We worked for, I don't know how many years together. Three years. Three years. Okay. Feels like more. Yes. But okay. So, and then we saw each other a few weeks ago. Yeah. We went

out to dinner a couple weeks ago. I was on my way to do some set, I think. The improv, yeah. The improv, yeah. So it was really nice to catch up and I was like, oh, I thought it would be great to have you on the podcast so we could shoot some shit. Yes. Like old times. Yes. And fucking gossip. Yes. And I'm a big fan of yours, so I was very excited about it. That's very sweet. That's very sweet.

Like, I have such warm feelings. It really was like a family in all of the best and worst ways at Chelsea lately but the best parts were like

getting to gossip and really like getting to tear apart you know when Jamie Lynn Spears got pregnant

when we all watch how's that going by the way Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnancy well she apparently was like a little bit complicit in the

keeping Britney Spears like under the conservatorship kind of thing I think but that and then when we watched the

Lifetime Handjob Prostitute TV movie together like really one of the highlights of my life remind my wait wait

remind me the Lifetime Handjob movie yes it was like one of the girls from Party of Five not Lacey Chabert the other one

Nev Campbell no maybe it was Lacey Chabert yeah I think it was the point is it was like a prostitute who worked only with handjobs

and I remember Sybil Shepard played the mom and it was coming on and we would have to watch these things it's also really funny like the first time

I watched RuPaul's Drag Race was for Chelsea Lately because like there's a new show we have to we watch reality shows and stuff and, like, it's been on for, like, 18 years now.

Have you ever been on RuPaul's Drag Race? No. Oh, well, you should be. It's time for you to guest judge. I'm not allowed to talk about that subject right now. Okay, I see. But I am going to be in the Drag Race movie that's coming out. Oh, nice.

Yeah, later this spring. Ooh, cool. And you've been on a bunch of TV shows since Chelsea Lately. Yes, I've been on Platonic, I've been on Hacks. Platonic is a great show, underrated. I love fucking Rose Byrne. She's so awesome. Well, it was such an exciting night for Rose last night.

I mean, she has a real rich, interesting career, but that doesn't always end up in like awards-y things. She does funny things as well, but that she got such respect for, if I had legs, I'd kick you, and I was really hoping for her. But Jessie Buckley was going to win. I know. She was incredible. What about Michael B. Jordan? First of all, I'm so fucking happy Michael B. Jordan won, and I'm so happy that Timothee Chalamet did not. Yes.

Now, listen, and I know that this is a sensitive topic because we're saying I had to look up when the voting ended for the Oscars. I looked that up to find out it started on February 26th and it ended on March 10th. So his comments, Timothee Chalamet's comments about the ballet and opera had an impact for sure. Because I thought, oh, maybe they voted on this months ago. Michael B. Jordan deserves this definitely hands down, period, period. He or Leo, I think, were the two best performances. And I would say Michael B. Jordan because he deserves it. And he played two roles.

Yes, he played two people. That movie was so huge and such a blockbuster and got a modicum of the respect it deserved from the industry because the industry is so fucking racist. But by saying that Timothee Chalamet blew it, it's kind of taking away from Michael B. Jordan's deserving of the award. But I think it's also interesting the way that we were all like, oh, it's Timmy's year.

He gets nominated all the time. This will be the one that he wins for. And then we were all like, is it? and I really feel as much as the comments I think people just being like a little bit annoyed with Marty Supreme

like yeah because he was acting like Marty Supreme in his interviews but that's is that Marty Supreme or is that Timothee Chalamet

is the question like just it's just too much like watching someone and I think I got I did I said something after the Critics Choice Awards

I was like it's just really hard to watch somebody pump themselves up like this so much and pump their own movie I understand you're campaigning to win an Oscar

we all understand how it works you have to campaign you have to do interviews But to go out there when you're competing against Leo DiCaprio, who fucking deserves an Oscar for every single thing he does, when you're competing against Michael B. Jordan, who people who are older than you and have been at this a long time, like there should be a level of deference or humility. Like I remember the one interview where he, which is the interview I had commented on, and my PR team was like, oh, you kind of went after Timothee Chalamet for no reason. and I'm like, yeah, I know, but he's annoying, was, like, I've been delivering A-plus performances

for the last seven to eight years of my life. Or the last seven to eight years I've been giving you A-plus performances. It doesn't get any better than this. This is it. This is, like, A-level. And you're like, okay, that's annoying. Yes. I mean, the thing is, is, like, he's still young.

Like, you know. He's got time. Delroy Lindo has been out there doing the work for, like, decades. And it was a little entitled. And there's also the way that, like, his brand pivot I don't think helped. I mean, dating the Jenner girl and all of that does make you wonder. And, like, he's supposed to be our little arty boy. He's supposed to be our call me by your name boy.

And then saying the thing about the opera and ballet was just like, what are you doing, little Manhattan boy? Don't you think, though, part of his rebranding is going to be without Kylie Jenner? A hundred percent. Yeah. I don't think that's going to be long. They've been together for so long at this point. Yeah, but now he has to rebrand. He has to.

He's probably devastated that he didn't win. You know what I mean? And he knows he blew it. But I also am very sensitive to the fact that Michael B. Jordan, I do think he deserves an Oscar. He was fucking great in that movie. And I also think Hollywood has to be more conscientious and responsible to people of color. Like, it's ridiculous. The other thing that was cool about that award is that thus far, all of the guys who have won for, like, black men who have won for best actor,

one after a long career. Like, people winning in their 40s and, like, having somebody who, like, look, he's been around since All My Children and, you know, Friday Night Lights, but, like, Michael B. Jordan being somebody whose best stuff is still ahead of him and having an Academy Award is exciting.

Okay, did you see that Nicole Kidman came out publicly with Simon Baker that they're together? They've announced their relationship. Oh, really? Yeah, two Aussies. Good for her, but also, like, this is a good move for Simon Baker

because I don't think he's in The Devil Wears Prada 2 and it's a great way of saying how dare you not put me in The Devil Wears Prada 2. Was he in the first one? He was.

He played the like nefarious, I'm pretty sure, yeah, he played the, He's hot. Yes, he played the nefarious guy who she was,

Anne Hathaway was tempted by but then didn't go with. Oh, oh, oh, okay. But like, good for Nicole Kidman.

I mean, ever since, I think they must have replaced Simon Baker with Kara Swisher because Kara Swisher keeps talking about being in a scene

of The Devil Wears Prada. I'm pretty sure. I mean, she is rakishly handsome. Yeah, she is. She is. I love Kara. I love Kara. I listen to that podcast every week.

Do you listen to Pivot with Scott and Kara, Tuckhawk Galloway? I only listen to it sometimes. I only listen to it sometimes. I like to get my world updates from that. But that's, so anyway, Nicole Kidman obviously broke up with Keith Urban or whatever happened in that relationship. Supposedly, he asked for the divorce. That was what I read.

Well, it seems like he relapsed, didn't it? I mean, I don't know, obviously. So I can't say that he relapsed, but it seemed like he did. it seemed pretty drastic and like unexpected yeah i like simon baker for her i think having an actor who is not as famous as you as somebody to like accompany you to things who you know looks very nice is a good answer i think you know being half of a country couple was always a hat she was gonna wear not like a life she was gonna lead oh interesting i like that did you practice that on your way over?

He's found out. This is a little bit of a sidebar, but why are country musicians, so many of them Australian? That's a really good question. What, is that the Outback? It is really interesting,

but also, last night at the Oscars, thinking about how many, the great thing about award shows is it lets Australians and Irish people use their real accents

the only time, but it's like the sheer number of our A-list actors who are Australian, and it's like, I get that because they're tall

and strong because all of the sunshine and, you know, rugby. But I did like, and I guess a lot. You are tall and strong. Rich criminal genetics, yes. But the country thing is so weird culturally. It is. The other places that like country music

really means something and connects, it's kind of strange. But it's like they're not being country stars over there. They're being country stars here. Is there country music in Australia? Because I kind of don't think so. I mean, that's what we have to get to the bottom of. My concern is like,

you're not getting a direct Sydney to Nashville. You know, that's a lot of having to connect. Right, right. Well, I would like to know what happened with that relationship. It's too bad I'm not going to my friend's 50th birthday because Nicole would be there. The Jonas Brothers are running it back. We live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brother hits that have defined a generation. One incredible celebration.

One unforgettable night. See the Jonas Brothers live at RBC Amphitheater, September 28th. Get tickets now at Ticketmaster.ca. Jonas Brothers, the burnin' up tour all over again. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.

Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part

book club part group chat for thought daughters pop culture obsessives and anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse i'm eli rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and the conversations everyone can't stop having i'm gonna have to look up this story i'm obsessed i'm obsessed from best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments nothing is off the table it's Like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here.

It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Where are you at with Blake Lively

and the Justin Baldoni scandal? I want to know your stance. Okay, it's fascinating when you have a situation where everyone's terrible. Like there is something, the thing that makes me mad about it though is it ends with us, is like one of the few real successes in film

in the last couple of years. Yeah, which has been ruined. We need this town to not collapse and they fucking destroyed it. But it really does, every time I get a little bit of information about it, I went to a dinner party. Do you know John Marco Cerisi? What? John Marco Cerisi. John Marco Cerisi. Yeah. He's a very funny comic. You would enjoy it. Okay. I don't think I know. I was at like a Shabbat where the only thing that was

being broken down was this story. And I got so much information, but like every time I learned something where I'm like, maybe he's right. It's like, no, they are both terrible. And it really sounds like she and Ryan have been calculating and playing this very very hard I agree with you I've something's wrong with the two of them and they are like it it doesn't like especially it's like um it's like when a dam breaks and and you're like finally you just don't have to look away there's nothing that can be done and you're like we have too much information but also I think there's something that's very interesting in LA of like when somebody fights so hard for control of a project that they end up wrecking the project. And then this is the rare situation

where the project was successful, but they have ruined that success by making it impossible to profit from it from any way. And what do you think is the Taylor Swift of it all with regard to the status of their friendship? Oh, I mean, like, I don't know. Like, I think that she is maybe our greatest politician. And I think that, like, she does a lot of presenting her friendships and relationships to us. But also, I think she goes away from controversy.

Yeah, well, she doesn't have time for that shit either, you know? I mean, when you spend so much time working as hard as, like, you know, like she does on her image and like her like what she's presenting it's kind of like what you're saying and like she's so thoughtful planning things like three and five years out she's like I didn't have time for this lawsuit like this is not on my calendar and I'm not gonna participate in it but yet I feel like she's still been a really good friend to Blake like those text messages that that were yeah they were all very public very nice yes good friend texts yeah but the thing like the thing is with some of these people who are like our industries like Taylor

Swift is an industry like who are the women who were in the mean girl mom group there was like uh was it um oh that was uh Hilary Duff yes and Mandy Moore yes and it is just like Mandy Moore one of Hollywood's great survivors but like that she still makes the time to be incidentally cruel to people around her I think reflects a balanced life you know and I just don't imagine that Taylor has the time for, like, messy girl talk for, you know, ganging up on people the way that she used to. Did she used to?

I don't know. Well, yeah, the whole You Stole My Dancers and the Katy Perry thing and all of that. I mean, the fucking track that she wrote about Charli XCX on the most recent album I think is delicious. By the way, I do too. That is actually a great song.

I mean, the thing is, is, like, but it's also, like, it's pettiness that is going to, in the long term, make her a great deal of money. And, like, that woman is, like, focusing her pettiness towards her greater brand. I'm like, if only I could, you know? Like, when people have complaints about Taylor Swift, it's usually in the vein that she doesn't let other artists breathe or have the success that she does. How she re-releases things.

And I don't quite understand all of this because I don't really understand music. But how she, like, you know, has 16 or 17 different album covers. And then it's like, okay, this is available for a limited release, right? Or somebody will drop like a Billie Eilish will drop a song and then she'll drop one right after so that Billie Eilish doesn't stay at number one. Those are things that I've heard. Is that out there in the zeitgeist that that happens? Well, definitely the like publishing a ton of different covers. So like the girls who love her have to go buy nine different, you know, 25 different covers.

A man has never been criticized for trying to be king, you know, and it is like, I think that's so much. It always kind of comes back to that. Yeah, like, our resentment is somebody who's, like, doing it too well, who is too in control. And there's a way that, like, we demand this kind of, like, messiness and vulnerability from women. Like, oh, there's a great line. There was this British art critic who said, men act, women appear. The notion that, like, men get to be agents, but women are always, like, objects. And I think as artists, we so frequently, it's like, with Lena Dunham, we couldn't understand that she was an artist who was creating something and not just the mess that was Hannah Horvath.

And I think that that is something that we have a hard time understanding, that, like, you are an artist, not just a human being sharing the messiness of your life. Fill me in on this Rebel Wilson story. So what you were saying about how a project can be ruined by all of this, like, behind-the-scenes stuff. So Rebel Wilson got basically in a pissing match with her producer of her new movie, which is called The Deb. It's, like, an Australian movie. It's a musical. It's supposed to be this, like, light, frothy, fun thing. But they've been in a legal battle over a credit that Rebel Wilson wanted on the movie, and, you know, she supposedly didn't earn it.

And so they've been in this legal battle for, like, two years, and now, like, she's using – okay, allegedly. Because it's a little Blake Lively-ish. It is very much. So the crisis PR firm that supposedly she is using and her team are doing the same sort of smear campaigns online and these, like, websites saying that this producer, who is a woman, was, like, sexually harassing someone on the shoot and, like, asking her to sleep with her. That person has gone on the record and said that didn't happen. That is not real. But it's the same PR firm that Justin Baldoni used. So it's very Blake Lively, Justin Baldoni.

But from the other angle. Yes. I mean, the ways that our industry is getting wrecked by some of these, I think particularly publicists being too good at their jobs. But imagine opening up a crisis PR firm. So you can just deal with fucking acrimony and hate. And create it and stir it up. And fighting all the time. It's like, oh my God, how many crisis PR firms are there?

It does lead to the best possible moment in entertainment, which is when somebody's publicist fires them. Like, there is just sort of, like, there's no clearer sign that, like, oh, they're just impossible to work with. But it's like, you're Rebel Wilson. Let your movie come out. Like, you need something to be happening. But also, we just saw this whole fucking thing for the last two years with Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni. So if you learn anything, don't, yes, exactly, nobody wants this. Like, if this is true, you know, to actively go after somebody to, like, ruin their reputation, even if that person is a fucking idiot.

You know what I mean? Even if that person sucks, what is the point of doing that? Right. And, like, we don't know it was Rebel specifically pushing for this, but there was audio leaked of her team discussing these tactics to use against this person. Oops. I mean, like, it's just rough, and you really have to question, like, where are you putting your energy? you know like you're like you're rebel wilson do like do something creative like don't waste your time just being in a fight she got married at disneyland there's nothing creative happening

disneyland oh god i wish they would shut that place down i know how many people love it but honestly i do love it but i would not get married there i do love it i do think anyone who purchases like that much of a packaged wedding right without doing it hilariously is you know i question yeah Yeah, right. What else is in the news? Oh, well, you were just talking about Lindy West, your friend. Oh, yeah. Tell us about your friend.

She just published a book. What's it called? It's called Adult Braces, and it's a really good book, and it's about her sort of like coming to like a midlife existential crisis. Do you remember the show Shrill on Hulu? Of course. It was based on her book and sort of like the weirdness of having her life processed through a TV show, something you would know nothing about.

And then sort of like having like miscommunication, not miscommunication, but like bad communication with her husband, which she had agreed to be like open, but wanted to not know about the stuff that he did that was open. And then he got a girlfriend and she had like uncertainty and a lot of like questioning of herself about that. So she goes on a van trip down to the Florida Keys and back to sort of like get her head straight. And there's just been a lot of people. and I was there for her book launch and a lot of people have been expressing a lot of opinions about her relationship without having read the book.

And, you know, it's very frustrating for her. And like, what kind of opinions are they expressing that are hurtful to her? Like, they were saying that like, that's not a good way of going into polyamory and they were just sort of saying like, oh, this is sad for you. You don't actually want this.

And she's like, no, I love this. I love Roya, my girlfriend. Like, this is a better situation that is more wholesome and healthy for all of us. That's the point of the book. and people are like, you can't have that opinion. Ah, interesting. Yes.

I wish there were a way for people to not care about the feedback they get when they put out a piece of creative work. It's really hard though. And the thing is, is like you read the comments because you want the people who say that you're great. But then you see the stuff where people are critical. It is really hard.

I wish I could be one of those people. And also I think all the people who say that they don't care are lying. No, but there's a level of caring about it. Like, I understand that you have to care. It's what you put out. Like, if I put a book out and it didn't do well or if it, you know, I would care. Yeah.

But I don't know that I would get, like, just like when you see 10 comments in a row telling you you're the greatest thing in the world. Yes. That gets old pretty quickly, too. Yes. Like, it's nice, but you're not going to bathe in that. Like, that's not real. It's real. It's your impact, which is really important.

And like, you know, the kind of, I think I always use the term domino effect you have on people, you know, to leave people like, you know, feeling good and like to actually have an impact on them is important. But just like you don't sit there and read these glowing reviews about yourself, like I'm not going to sit there and read bad things about myself on and on and on and on. And like, it's not necessary. Two things. The first one is just, I've never really gotten to say it to you, but the number of times

that I've been in some situation and somebody reflected back to me that seeing me and Ross on your show like helped them figure it out coming out of the closet or who they were always is so great but my question for you is one of the things that's interesting about the book is lindy talking about sort of like the specter of her first book shrill and the way that it made people like expect things out of her as a fat person and as a feminist and i just wonder for you after like what's the first book called horizontal life my horizontal life was it hard for you was it weird for you sort of like the persona but I guess it's it was a reflection of your stand-up persona which is like you know you were used to handling that but was there anything with any of your books

has there been anything weird about the way it made people see you no I mean sometimes people would be disappointed like when I got like when I got very deep with like my book um what was it called life will be the death of me I got really deep about my brother and a lot of people and And when I did a tour, I didn't do a stand-up tour. I did like a talking about the book tour. And I think I was just testing the water to see if I wanted to get back into stand-up because I had taken such a long break. But people were like definitely like disappointed that that wasn't like the old Chelsea, like the funny, funny, like ribalds and like all that stuff. Which it's so funny that you say that because we still get emails all the time that were like that book did so much for me.

That book changed my life. Like thank you so much for sharing that. So it's like it is totally different strokes for different folks. Absolutely. Absolutely. And so, and yeah, and as do I, and I love that. I love that feedback. But I also like, even when I put that out and people, and I got some of that feedback, like, wait, this isn't the Chelsea we know and love. And I'm like, yeah, it's moving. Like I'm moving. Well, yeah, the thing is, is you have to evolve as an artist. And we've all seen people who got kind of trapped by just doing the thing that worked over and over and over again. And I think if you want to be somebody who is alive and has something to say, you have to evolve what you're doing. And you have to be representative and real about what you're going through as an artist. Not every artist has to do this.

Like, an actor doesn't necessarily have to share all of that. But as a comedian or as somebody who is playing myself, I'm myself. You know what I mean? It's insincere and disingenuous for me to act one way and be going through it another way. Like, I'm not faking it. I am actually on a whatever, for lack of a better word. Yeah, I'm getting the upgrade, A. And for lack of a better word, journey.

Like, you've been pretty transparent with social media, pretty transparent with comedy always, and I think that makes it easier to just sort of, like, keep these things flowing along. And I think for some people who are pretty famous, understanding what level of transparency, you know, understanding – I think also when you have kids and it's like – you know, because, like, that weird thing of, like, this is my life, but also, like, I don't want people kidnapping them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The kids – I don't have to deal with that problem. Another great decision by me. But there's a really good passage at the end of Lindy's book that is basically like, a book isn't the truth. A book is sort of like your representation of where you are. And also just sort of like the idea of what I'm saying right now may not be true of me always, but I'm not going to sacrifice the happiness that I have now in service of being right three years from now.

Yes, right. Also, and it's important to know that if I said something in that moment, I meant it. You know what I mean? Like somebody was like, oh, I thought you hate flowers. I'm like, well, I did when they were, when I did, I did hate flowers at a certain point in my life. I thought that was kind of just like, not pedantic, but just like, Ooh, I don't need flowers.

I love cut flowers. I love, oh, getting flowers. I did like roses. I don't want roses. I want flowers. You know what I mean? Thoughtful flowers. I'm interested in that.

How's your dating life, by the way? I mean, it's, uh, decentralized as always. Uh, I was in New York and I saw a guy who I see in New York. And before that, I went to Quebec in February. Never a great choice. Must have been for some dick. Yes. So that kind of thing.

Do you like that? Yes. Like the number of people out there, like I'm a very specific person. I used to have a joke about this. I am the sexual equivalent of a left-handed oyster shucking glove. I'm not for everyone, but those who need it will appreciate it. And so I did have a long-term relationship 2016 to 2019. I've been doing a solo show where I talk about the complexities of it because I had never really been in a relationship before.

But, like, that was interesting. I think meeting somebody who was a right person for me made me much clearer about who isn't a right person for me, if that makes sense. Totally makes sense. And how was it being in a relationship for three years after not having had a relationship? It was weird, and it was scary, and I didn't really know how to deal with it, and I didn't always make the best of choices. Neither did he. But I learned a lot from it, and I think just at the, like, he was smart in the right ways and kind in the right ways in ways that, like, helped me grow up, and it was good. He's still a very good friend of mine. Oh, that's good. Yes. And do you think you want another relationship?

I don't know, because it's like— Because I kind of like what you're talking about. Yes. You know what I mean? And that's my vibe is, like, bounce around lots of different people. You know, I'm not in that situation right now. Right. But I like that.

Well, and I think for me, as somebody who, like, started out in a very gay way, just sort of, like, hooking up and stuff, understanding what emotions are appropriate and, like, really, like, letting myself treasure someone and enjoy someone is, like, I think learning many different definitions of the word love is really, really useful and good for me. But also, like, my job and my creative process and the things that I do go in so many directions that, like, there is something nice about just, like, having a nice time with someone and then going off and doing my own thing. Right. Because I was just saying to Catherine in our last episode, I was saying, like, when I work, I want to be alone. I don't want anyone in my house. When I come back and I'm in L.A. or wherever I am when I'm working, I need to be on my own thing. Yeah. Because you don't like the check-in texts, I'm guessing.

Yeah. Check-in, check-in. We don't have to talk on the phone every day. I mean, communicate, but you don't, I mean, sometimes on the phone, fine, if you're in the mood. But, like, there's no, I don't like to be restrictive or be feel tethered. I need my space. Well, I mean, in reference to Lindy's book, a line of mine that I have been repeating a lot is, to me, sexual fidelity is the least interesting kind of fidelity. Like, there are so many other things that I want to know that I'm the first person that you tell about a very good restaurant that you went to.

Like, I don't care who you're fucking. But, like, you know, those things that, like, really do matter that somebody share those things with you, like, it is other things that matter to me. Right. Yeah, I like that. Are we going to take callers? Oh, we sure are. And actually, I have some questions that align very much with what we've been talking about. Okay, we're going to take a break, and we're going to be right back with Guy Brenham.

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I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments,

nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes

without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it.

It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back! Well, our one drink question that we'll start off with is, Dear Chelsea, my ex and I broke up a year ago, but we've maintained a friendship.

Shortly after the breakup, I found out he was hanging out with a certain guy, the one I was told not to worry about. I did some digging and found a tweet from that guy, posted while we had been together, that said something like, Why do I always fall for guys 200 miles away? My ex is in NYC. That guy lives in DC. We were in an open relationship, so physical stuff wasn't the issue, but I realized he was probably emotionally cheating on me while we were still together.

Now, even as just friends, every interaction brings that betrayal back up. I have thought about having a conversation with him about it, but I'm worried it might be too much. Do you think talking about it would bring clarity or just reopen old wounds, Gabe? I think you kind of need to talk to him about it. Like, in most situations, like, you know, I don't think you should reopen old wounds all the time. I don't think you need to get into everything. But it's like, if you want to be friends with this guy, this is going to fester and you're going to get annoyed and it's going to turn into something bad or inappropriate. And I think like we're mature, sophisticated gay guys who were able to have an open relationship.

And I think being able to have a lunch where it's like, well, tell me what was going on just so I can know. We'll let you decide how much you want to be friends with these guys and like hopefully open you up so that you can like and appreciate them on their own terms and maybe have a three way eventually. I love that. That's a nice spin. Yes. But the other – conversely, like what are the chances this guy is going to be honest about what he was doing when they were in a relationship knowing that's just going to stir up shit? You know what I'm saying? Like you're going to ask – my ex-boyfriend asked me if I was cheating on him and I was.

Like what's the advantage of – you know what I mean? I'd be like that's just going to hurt him. I'm going to keep that to myself. And you're probably going to get lied to anyway. I mean not 100%. I don't know these people. Well, I mean – and that is the dangerous possibility is if this person lies to you, then you like have to resent them, you know? Right.

But also you may never know that they're lying. Like, you may not really know. Maybe they were just flirting or who knows. My take on all of this shit as I've gotten older has changed and evolved, which is it doesn't fucking matter. You're not with the person anymore. Whatever happened while you were with them doesn't fucking matter. You know what I mean? You were dating.

You were in an open relationship. All the things are there now. You're going to be upset that he was an emotional cheater instead of a physical cheater. Like, the relationship's over. Move on. Well, and there's also something to be said for, like, give it some space. Give it some space. And I think it's really hard after the end of a relationship to, like, you want to be focused on that.

But, like, give it some space and then go back and then you can be friends on whatever terms those are two years from now. Yes, that's also a good idea to give it to me. Did he say he wants to remain friends with him? Yeah, yeah, they're still good friends. But I think that we always want to, like, control the situation. And the situation's over. You didn't control it. It's over.

And, like, the idea of controlling the outcome of something is very, like, it's a false motivation. You're never going to be able to control. Plus, it already fucking happened. So I would say get, you know. All right. You have two pieces of advice. Let us know what you go with. Let us know what you go with and how that goes.

All right. Well, our first caller today is Leah. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm an actress and comedian in LA, and I would love your advice on my current situation. After 15 years of building an online audience of 40K followers, my Instagram, at Leah Knauer, was disabled after I made an anti-Trump joke that went viral, and a mass of Trumpers reported it. I now have to start a new account, at LeahKnauerXO from zero.

I'm heartbroken and angry. So long, freedom of speech, I guess. As an up-and-coming actress and comedian, my social media is obviously vital for promoting shows and booking gigs, as you know. I feel like everything I've built has crashed and burned at my feet, and my career is over. What do I do? Have you ever experienced a major loss, professional or personal, that ended up being a blessing? I'd really appreciate your insight and encouragement, Leah. Oh.

I can't believe they could do that Hi Leah, look we have Guy Branum here today He's another comedian Hi Guy, hi Chelsea Hi, how are you? I'm okay, I'm happy to be here I wish it was in different circumstances But I'm really looking forward to your advice

Well first of all Every disaster that happens Or kind of like I don't know how you're framing this But it's definitely I don't understand how they are able to take accounts down like that I don't understand how that works Yeah, I don't either.

It's pretty crazy. No, but apparently this happens to a lot of people for all kinds of different reasons and sometimes no reason at all. And I'm actually speculating. They never told me what guideline. So they just cancel your account? Yeah, I just woke up one day and my account was gone. They didn't specify what guideline I broke or what post it was.

But I'm speculating because I had a very viral anti-Trump post. So I'm like, maybe that was it. And I think a lot of people reported it. And then it just was down. And I feel, I'm like, yeah, I'm mad at myself. I feel like I ruined everything. Chelsea, I'm actually on a show with you tomorrow. So I'm very excited to meet you in person.

What show? At the Ice House. Okay, well, I'll see you at the Ice House. That's great. I am performing there. I forgot. I'm doing, yeah, great. But everything that doesn't work out, there's always some blessing.

You may not find out about it in the next week or two weeks or six months, but you'll find out about it at some reason. You will have had some stalker that was going to try and come over to your house and stalk you or kill you or something terrible that you avoided or averted by not having your social media account. So let's just assume that's true, okay? Not the worst case scenario true, but just some scenario within that. Let's assume that something like that is true and this was a blessing in disguise. Rebuilding something is not nearly as difficult as you think it is. It feels like that in the moment.

40,000 followers, I know, is a lot of people, but you can rebuild that in a second. You don't need, like, the thing that I'm most concerned about is, like, your freedom of speech and to be able to talk about this. Like, you know, you had something go viral where you were anti-Trump. You shouldn't stop talking about how much of an asshole Trump is. So I'm more concerned about now them muzzling you. So where do you stand on that front? Yeah, it is—I do feel scared now to speak up, and that's why I wanted to ask you because you're very vocal about politics, and I admire you both for that. But, yeah, now I'm scared.

Well, then that worked. Do you know what I mean? Like, it worked. That's what they wanted you to be. They want you to be scared. You are scared. And you're probably going to edit your behavior in the future. So, first and foremost, I would say not to do that.

I think there's probably certain people that they target, right? Yeah. That they know that they can get away with it because you have smaller followings or, I mean, even though 40,000 people is a lot of people. Yeah. But I really don't think it's, like, it's not as big of a mountain to climb as you think it is. You know, you can, like, increase your social media presence in weeks. You know what I mean? Like, it's going to happen.

You just have to start again and actually maybe shift it, not necessarily away from being anti-Trump. Wait until you've amassed more followers than 40,000 before you start talking out against him maybe because they're less likely to erase that. But I think you should look at it as an opportunity. Like, now you have an opportunity to create something brand new. Instead of looking at it as a loss,

when we look at everything that we don't get as a loss, it kind of alters your state of mind and the framework within which you look at focus on something. And I think really successful people have an ability to like, Oh, you almost not that you're welcoming this. Cause it's not something that you would welcome, but it's almost like, Oh, what a fun challenge. I get to rebuild my 40,000 people. And you guess what? You're going to double that. You're going to be way more successful, but just figure out how you want to change that in the right way you know what I mean make some slight alteration not towards being political but make an alteration about like how you see your future as a performer right like if

you're talented then there's not much that's going to get in your way and I also think that like talking about your story like I got banned from Instagram for saying something about Trump like talking about that on TikTok I think would go viral also yeah tell your story yeah you can I mean that could be your opening video like okay I was banned from it so I'm rebuilding my social media and then talk about other things so it's not totally centered around Trump you know but that story is worthwhile because I'm sure there's millions of other people that are experiencing the same stuff yeah you know and like maybe there's something good you can do together to make sure that they're not allowed to do that to people you can't just take someone's account down I don't

understand how that happens so but I really just don't want you to focus on the loss and focus on like the actual creative process of starting a new, you know, it's not the end of the world. I promise you, it's not the end of the world. You can act like you've never been on social media before and be like, how do I, how do I work this thing? You could have a whole angle about it. What do you think? I think comedians can lose too much energy when you have bumps in bad things happen. I think that comedians have so much opportunity with social media to control and be able to like communicate to people directly, but also we forget how much it is being filtered through these corporations that like really have infinite power to decide you know it's weird when

you realize all of the speech restrictions that we accept on tiktok you know that like we just sort of take them and so you have to take those two things hand in hand but i think what chelsea is saying is is right it will be a whole lot easier to get another 40 000 back and i think one of the important things is like as comedians the most important thing that we have is inside of you. Skills that you have built, what you have learned on this path to 40,000, they can't take that away from you. Thank you so much. I really, it's very helpful to hear all of that from both of you. So thank you. Yeah. So just keep on trucking. Okay. Cause you know, you're going to have to like survive much more than this in, in the world of entertainment and in the world of

rejection or what you perceive to be failures. But I really think the true sign of like a real powerful person is never to look at failure as failure. It's like, great. I'm glad I got that out of the way. Now I'm one step closer to my next success. Thank you. All right, Leah, will you keep us posted on what happens? And I'll see you at the ice house. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll see you tomorrow. Okay. Awesome. Thanks, Leah. Awesome. Thank you. Bye. Bye. So our next question comes from Steven. Steven says, Chelsea, I love you. Love the pod. You're the best. Would love some advice. I'm a 48-year-old gay dude who's never been in a relationship. I grew up in New England and being out in the 90s wasn't a thing yet. It was too unsafe to date the boys and I had

no interest in dating the girls. In college, it just never seemed to happen. I'm the happy fat friend that everyone wants to be friends with but not date. I look at someone like Ross Matthews, who was dating Salvador for years when he was heavier. He's now in a loving marriage with Wellington. I see fat guys out there all the time who have boyfriends. How am I so unlucky that it doesn't happen to me? Everyone always says it will happen when you least expect it. Well, I've been waiting for over 25 years now and it hasn't happened yet. Because you're expecting it. I see people on my 600-pound life, and they're all in relationships, and I get so mad because they're fat and they found someone.

So if weight is not an issue for them to find someone, what's so wrong with me that I can't? I firmly believe that I won't find a man to date until I'm thin, but that doesn't seem to be true for others. As I'm knocking on the door of 50, I just want it to happen at least once in my life. I want to know what it's like to be loved by another person, not just my family and amazing friends. Never having experienced romance before just drives me into a depth of pain that is real and can last for days, feeling like damaged goods that no one wants.

There are chubby chasers out there who find me attractive, but being found attractive for the one thing that you hate about yourself is a total mindfuck. How do I break the fucking cycle and put myself out there more? Stephen. How do you feel about chubby chasers? I feel like, is that a bad thing? I mean, like, it can feel weird to be a fetish. It can feel strange when, like, that's the thing that somebody is primarily engaging with.

You know, also, it can be hot if it's the right person. But it is that thing of, does this person like me or are, and also sometimes there is like a power dynamic to it that is like creepy and not the most fun of being like, I'm a regular gay guy and you're a sad fat guy, but I will still be nice to you. And it's like, nobody needs that. I understand far too well where Steven is and where he's coming from. And I think part of it is just remembering how far we've come in our lifetimes that like when guys like him and I were in high school, there was no expectation that any of these things would be possible and you weren't treating them as a reality. And I think, you know, and the guys that we're dating have a different understanding of what

relationships are and what they're looking for. And so I think accepting that is really important, but also putting yourself in the spaces where there are more people who will like you going to bear week at Provincetown. If you live in New England, you know, it's like, go there. And there are ways, I think that immersion is a good thing. Some of these things that may feel uncomfortable or weird, like a chubby chaser or like bear activities, um, can feel weird. But then once you're there, like you just, you get in the water and you realize it's fine. Yeah. And you can, and then you're among more of your people. And also there's like all these you know it's this is true for single people and whatever your sexual

preference is or identity is but like you can go online and look for gay activities in your city and look for people who are also looking for gay activities in your city without it being you know but i think there's also a way that the way we have talked to fat people about fatness for such a long time is there will be a future time when you get to lead your life and be happy and like yes releasing that and just sort of saying like what needs to happen needs to happen with this me right here and like I also think just doing things to be embodied like in Lindy's book she talks about getting a tattoo and accepting that like this like I have ownership over my body and I think like letting yourself own and enjoy your own body is a great way to like start accepting

it but also and I should be lecturing to women about this but like there's also a way that like we live in a society that has so many opinions about your body that being able to divorce yourself from what society tells you is kind of impossible. I do like what you say about, you know, Lindy, I think it's also helpful, Stephen, to start observing media from like fat activists and storytellers and creatives, you know, listen to the maintenance phase podcast and like put yourself in spaces where like your body is being talked about in a positive way and it can really help undo some of the trauma there.

But I do agree with you. I do think it's like, I mean, I can relate to that so much when I was a kid and like, you know, dealing with my weight or whatever. I was never fat, but I thought I was, you know, body dysmorphia. And I was always like, oh, when I'm thin, when I'm thin, when I'm thin, that's when things will start to really kick off. You know what I mean? So I can relate to the idea that like one day in the future, you're going to do that. But it is, I think it is really like when you don't accept yourself, it's hard to get another person to accept you. Like, you have to start with self-love, and as corny as that may sound, it seems to be the truth for so many people.

Well, and also accept and acknowledge the fact that, like, other people do have messed up heads about these things, and it's not about your failure. It's about a world that isn't great, and I think going into it with, like, understanding that that's part of the lay of the land is good. We can't fix it all in our own heads, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Steven, put yourself out there and check in with us, okay? And look out for some gay activities in the area that you live.

Like, what are gay guys doing besides hunting each other on Grindr? Like, actually, like, stuff that you can do outside, stuff that you can, like, you know, events that you can go to, ballroom dancing, I don't know, whatever you're interested in, like, hiking or— Look, 10 years ago, the gay dodgeball really was the meat market of West Hollywood. Now it's all about pickleball. It's all about pickleball. All right. I saw this Instagram post the other night going, how much longer are we going to let white people dominate pickleball before we fucking get in there and fucking show them how it's done? I love that.

Somebody during the Winter Olympics, I forget who, was like, once black people enter speed skating, it's over for you, fucker. Okay, well, our last caller today is Amber. She says, hi, friends. So I'm in my early 30s and I'm ready to take the next step in my relationship with my beautiful girlfriend. I'm finally at a point in my life where I think it would be good to take the next steps and propose within the next year or two. I'm afraid because her family, specifically her parents, are not supportive and she's a super family-oriented person. She's someone that would ask me if I got her parents' approval before asking her, I feel. So I'm at a crossroads here.

I'm not traditional by any means and she definitely is traditional. Any advice for how to move forward that way with love, Amber. Hi, Amber. Our special guest is Guy Branum today. Hello. Hi. Well, so you have a relationship and a woman that you love and that you want to propose to. That's exciting. And have you discussed getting married with her? Yes. And she's very excited about it. Okay. So do you think that she's expecting you to go to her parents and ask for permission? I think that would be her ideal. How long have you guys been together? Almost three years. Okay. I don't know. I think in all realms, asking the parents like permission or approval feels so dated. I agree. I feel like that is just, it's just not the way the world should be

working. Like if they're not supportive of the relationship at best, you can get like a tepid okay and that's just like almost puts a stain on the like the whole process of proposing now amber what is your relationship like with her parents have you met them i've met them they're cordial to me they let me in their house um but it's not it they definitely don't accept us like it's not warm and inviting and like they should be with their daughter's partner. No, I think they're in denial as well. So that happens with parents.

One of the things I'm obsessed with is that we are the first generation of queer people who get to have real legal marriages and that we get to build our own traditions along the way. And so much of the time we can feel like bound or constrained by the old school ways. And so I would say if you don't feel comfortable going and asking her parents permission,

go to her best friend, go to her sister, Go to someone else who is like a person who respects her and your relationship. So when she does say, did you ask my parents' permission? You can be like, I didn't know how that will go. So that's why I talked to Brian, you know? I like that. I think that's great. I like that too.

I think I could go the sister route. That would be good. Yeah, that's a great idea, Guy. That's really, really good. You're right. You get to, that's kind of, I'm glad you said that, that this is the first generation of people who get to get married as gay people and you should set some new traditions because that is antiquated asking a parent for permission it's like I wouldn't give a shit what my parents said

anyway like I have been to a gay wedding where like parents sat there annoyed the entire time or just weirded out by it but I still think it's important I think one of the things that a marriage a wedding is about is showing your parents that you're a real adult who gets to make real decisions on your own. So, you know, I think invite them and let them be whatever kind of pills they want to be, but also maybe don't put them in the position of being able to, to gatekeep this relationship. Yeah. I wonder what you also think the two of you about after you've proposed and it's a yes and everyone's excited, writing them a letter, telling them how much you love their daughter. You're going to take care of her. You're so excited for this new step in your life.

how do you feel about that and engaging them in that way but it's sort of like you're giving it to them and they can absorb it i just kind of feel like fuck you if parents are like that do you know what i mean like it's just not helpful you're supposed to love your child no matter what how can you judge them based on who they're attracted to but i also think that there's the way that like when you have somebody like for for so many queer people being able to hold these things in the same space is really really hard and when you have somebody who is really close to their family but has never been sort of like aggressive about saying like you need to create the space for me it can be really hard and you don't want that to be something that impairs

your marriage where your partner has to feel like she has to give something up to be in this relationship and so I do think like sending a letter and keeping a door open isn't a terrible idea but you know there is also a deep part of me that understands and respects Chelsea's if you don't like this go fuck yourself perspective I mean it is nice to send a letter and say like it within that letter to be like hey listen letting them know what's happening yeah it's not asking and also and just saying I didn't come to you in a traditional way because this isn't a traditional relationship and it's been you know clear that you guys you know I think you should maybe let me not like call them out but like I didn't feel comfortable coming toward to you

you know like I hope that can change in the future I hope we can create a relationship or foster a some sort of relationship like if you wanted to say that I can understand wanting to say that I don't think it's fucking necessary but I can understand if you want to really respect her relationship with her with her family but I think asking the sister is a real great like I think that's just a great suggestion yeah I like I like that suggestion I don't think either of our parents would attend so I think the letter would if anything would be just I don't know I don't know what that life would look like, but I think it,

I want to respect that she is so close to her family, but at the same time, I'm not looking for their approval, if that makes sense. Yeah, for sure.

Well, I think you cover all your bases with asking her sister. Yeah. Well, that's true. All right, Amber, will you send us pictures of the engagement

when it happens? I will. All right. Congratulations. Yeah, it's really exciting. Congrats, Amber. Thank you, And thank you so much again.

Yeah, absolutely. Celebrating 70 years, family-owned and operated. Visit plazaautogroup.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything.

Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.

Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind or wake up to a new version of yourself so whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip i hope you listen to solita on the iheart radio app

apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts i just want to remind you of the call that we got like a couple weeks ago when they were like we have a guy at work that clears his throat incessantly i am that man now i mean i've always He's been that man. All I do is go like this. And I haven't even smoked weed. I did. I smoked one joint.

I even asked her. I was like, did you smoke a joint? Well, with Yamanika on Saturday. But what's today? Tuesday? I, like, I was doing a bunch of colleges. And so I was listening obsessively to podcasts of college classes. And there was this man, like, an amazing Greek historian.

And it was the best class. And he literally could not go more. that like he was like clearing his throat every third syllable and it was so annoying it's so hard i know i know i know we literally got to call him to like someone in our cubicle and like my cubicle next to me just sits there and goes she's like we're so fucking annoyed i'm like you need to confront him he has acid reflux yeah anyway guy it was a pleasure having you here it's good to be here it was so lovely to get to meet you katherine and uh uh it's always a delight to get to see you, Chelsea.

I know. Likewise, guy. Likewise. Cheers. Cheers, everybody. Goodbye. Okay, guys. I am officially

on my high and mighty tour. March 20th is Denver, Colorado. March 27th, Portland, Maine. March 28th, Providence, Rhode Island. March 29th,

Springfield, Massachusetts. April 10th is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater. April 11th, Indianapolis, Indiana. April 12th, Louisville, Kentucky.

April 16th is Albuquerque, New Mexico April 17th is Mesa, Arizona April 23rd is Kansas City, Missouri April 24th is St. Louis, Missouri April 25th is Minneapolis, Minnesota April 30th, Nashville, Tennessee May 1st is Charlotte, North Carolina May 2nd is Durham, North Carolina

May 6th, I'm doing Netflix is a Joke Festival I will be in Los Angeles May 15th, Saratoga, California May 16th, Monterey, California. May 17th, Modesto, California. And then June 4th, Port Chester, New York. June 5th is Boston, Mass. And June 12th is Portland, Oregon.

And then Seattle is June 13th. I'm doing a second show at the Paramount Theater in Denver on Saturday, December 5th. So suck on that, everybody. Go to ChelseaHandler.com for tickets. If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find Catherine on TikTok at FlashCadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law.

Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea live at ChelseaHandler.com. i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for

anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by kristin bell josh gad and adina menzel i auditioned for frozen what for kristoff they said okay what are you going to be singing today i said i don't know that must have been why you didn't get it Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more.

And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business

and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.