Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Adult Baby Doll with Fortune Feimster

Episode Date: October 27, 2022

Chelsea is joined in-studio this week by her pal Fortune Feimster. They discuss Fortune’s coming out in her 20’s and dating all the wrong people, why Chelsea Lately was one big frat party, and why Fortune’s marriage works.  Then: A lesbian couple struggles with one set of parents’ refusal to attend their wedding.  And a toxic marriage threatens to keep a daughter from her family’s Thanksgiving dinner. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us.

Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Catherine. Hey, Chelsea. Oh, we are fresh off the boat from Majorca. We took a sailboat all the way there from the Pacific Coast.

So that took us, oh, God, I don't know. I mean. Tres meses? Yes. You had to row significantly. I came home and I told my bell and Felix, who work with me at my house with me in concert because I'm doing so much. I told them that my Spanish was deteriorated in Spain.

I think the last week was the worst because I had three full Spanish speakers there. Well, you also speak Spanish. And I realized just how basic and fundamental my Spanish is. So I told them no more speaking English at home. We're only speaking Spanish from now on. And so now I can't understand anything the fuck that's happening. I don't know what she's talking about, but we're sticking with it. And I'm learning.

Ma Bell is also Duolingo now for you. Yeah, well, I'm just like, listen, we're just going to fucking figure it out. She loves to correct me, so it's perfect. This is a huge opportunity for her to put me in my place. It's like a total status shift. So I am winding up my stand up tour. Vaccinated and Horny is coming to a screeching halt at the end of the year. I have my last dates coming up. And these are the last opportunities you have to also buy merch from the website. ChelseaHandler.com if you want Vaccinated and Horny merch or captain's hats that say we're the captains now for women only. or t-shirts for men in your family that say I'm sorry because they should be. I only have a few dates left.

I'm going to be in Wheatland, California this Saturday night. And then I'm going to Tucson, Arizona next weekend. November 5th is Tucson. November 6th is Colorado Springs. And then Rockford, Illinois, Minneapolis, Rosemont, Illinois, two shows in Tampa, a show in Fort Myers, Florida, Daytona Beach, Hollywood, Florida, Concord, New Hampshire, Worcester, Mass, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.

There, I said it. And then San Diego and Riverside, California, and then Baltimore, Maryland. And then my very last date is December 16th in Redding, Pennsylvania. So this will be the last of me performing. How do you feel about that? Very relieved and excited. I mean, I have had a really fun time touring. I like my schedule.

yeah three months on one month off three months on and now these last couple dates I just have like two shows each weekend which is totally doable that's nice and so now my special will come out now I can use these shows to come up with my next hour excellent I just don't know what the fuck I'm gonna talk about do you try out like new material as you're sort of closing out a show yeah I've been trying out some new material yeah I mean it's hard to come up with an hour so I've got to really use these dates to do it because I have all the time you know what I mean Like I could stay on stage for two hours and screw around, but I've been doing this set for so long. I'm sorry I can't stop touching my breasts.

I have this weird sports bra on today that's like turning them into one single breast. Yes, and I don't like that feeling. And then they also look like they're coming. It's not the right look. I kind of got a uniboob going on too, but it's more because of my shirt, like the design on my shirt, which is, what's his name? Eddie from Iron Maiden brand. But yeah, he's kind of giving me a new name. Is that a real person, Kathleen?

I mean, I wish so. I love spooky things. I'm also hosting the Critics' Choice Awards, you guys. That's exciting. On January 15th. Yes. Which will be aired on, what network is that? CW?

I'm not sure. CW? Great. Yeah. But I do want to talk about something, Katherine, that I learned about you. I want to say, first, I forgive you because on the way over, I forgot I had a COVID test because I'm doing a TV show in the morning. The Talk.

Oh. And I made a little lettuce wrap with some ground turkey and some onions. Okay. And normally, when we're doing a podcast, I wouldn't do that. You know what I mean? I wouldn't have onions when I'm coming in to speak so closely and sit so closely next to you. But as you revealed, over our vacation in Mallorca, you bring hard-boiled eggs onto fucking airplanes as a snack. Not two or three, like nine.

No, I am known for a bag of eggs. In a Ziploc container. There was a photo that her husband Brad showed, supplied me with. This is after my foot breakdown because of people and their bare feet on planes. I'm still having a massive influx of pictures of feet out on airplanes. And I just want to let everyone know, if they're wearing socks, that is not as offensive as a bare foot. It is the bare foot that is not clevered or clean or hygienic. And it's inappropriate.

It's disgusting. And they're putting their feet on stuff, like on the screens. Some people are putting them on the ceiling. Some people are putting them on the windows. It's just gross to have your bare feet exposed and also on a dirty, dirty vessel like an airplane. No, no. But back to you. I am flabbergasted, or I was.

Yo era flabbergastado. Because I cannot believe that you would think that that is acceptable. That is the worst smell there is. Sulfur. I know it's pretty bad. I have been known to bring a full bag of eggs on a plane, you know, to share with people. Share. No one wants to share. It's just like a perfect little shot of protein. And I know it's it's pretty bad. It's pretty heinous. But if you want the protein. Get something else.

Protein bars make you fart on planes, I'm convinced. Well, they make you fart anyway and on planes, but the good protein bars actually don't make you fart. But there's other ways to get protein. And you need to find out what they are. I do love a beef jerky. I may have to switch. That's not that great either, by the way, that smell. So that's better than hard-boiled eggs, though.

I mean, eggs you need to eat right away so the smell is gone. And they're not warm. And I love hard-boiled eggs. I have a whole refrigerator of them because that's where they belong, in the refrigerator. At home, not on travel. Speaking of hard-boiled eggs, I have my longtime girlfriend here today. Her name is Well actually why don't you say a few words

And see if anybody can recognize your voice Does anyone know who this is Chelsea's girlfriend She's She's not only my girlfriend She's also in a marriage And I'm part of their thruple We're a thruple

This is the theme in my life Is I'm a third wheel to lots of different couples You're the best thruple I know I know Because I put out left right and censor Well so far I haven't experienced that No no no We're working on it

We haven't ever had sex yet But we're still in a thruple we're in an emotional trouble it's fortune feimster everybody you may know her from you we would probably have been introduced to her on chelsea lately where i was introduced to her and now the whole world gets to enjoy her and she just walked into my podcast office or whatever the fuck this is and she i was like oh fortune i'm like she was hitting on me i was grabbing her leg i'm like this feels smaller than normal and you revealed that you'd lost 40 pounds because She played a CIA agent, C-I-A, C-I, not a clitoral investigator, a central intelligence

officer, central intelligence agent. Agent, yeah. In her most recent, is it a Netflix show? Yeah, it's going to be on Netflix. It's with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Oh, is that how you say his name? I don't know. I don't think so.

Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold Schwarzenegger. I have a very thick accent. I don't pronounce anything right. Arnold Schwarzenegger. it's a very tricky name to say so we'll just call him big arnold big arnold how was how was that i was working with arnold it was awesome i was out in toronto for five months filming yeah and it was all action stuff i was you know i'm an action gal i i know i was running had a gun i was doing all

that stuff wow yeah you'll be very turned on i can't wait to see that so six months or five months in toronto i saw you had to cancel some gigs because you got trapped there i had to cancel my european tour because uh what a bummer production got extended for almost a month oh yeah and you also have a new netflix special that just came out congratulations on that thank you it's called good fortune what a stretch why why didn't you do fortune cookie i don't know i didn't think about it maybe for the next one the next one yeah if you just put your name in everything like i put my name in everything it works nobody could tell the difference between one thing or the next it works yeah it's my my new hour i'm very happy with it yeah it's

fucking awesome thank you i shot it in chicago while i was filming this action show so when do you think you'll be going back on the road um i'm gonna do like club dates in november and december around california and then announce a big tour starting the end of january oh great hit a bunch of new cities with new material so if you have any ideas of things i should talk about let me know. Oh shit I know I have to I'm in the same boat I'm just wrapping up this tour and I'm like okay I have to come up with some new material and I'm like I should be doing it now since I already taped my special but since my special isn't out yet I just keep holding on to the same show I don't have fucking time for any creative juices right now. That's the hardest part about putting

out a special is writing a whole new act. I know. You're like I just finished. I know I know tell me about you because when I there are certain comics that like to run their hour before they tape it like 200 times I can't do that I like run it 70 or 75 times and then I'm theater dates after I've run it in clubs so maybe like 85 altogether or 95 but I can't go past 100 because then I'm just sick of my own material I this one I did a lot I did a hundred cities and about 160 shows wow that's a lot yeah yeah 15 of those were post filming so 15 shows right and were you able to come up with some new material while you were doing those new shows or did you just yeah that's it right now and then you have to and then you go back on the road and you have to stretch five

minutes into an hour you're like whoa shit i know isn't it funny every single time it's the same thing with a book every single time i'm done writing a book i'm like that's it i'm done I have nothing left. And then, of course, you're like, fuck, I've got to write another book, and I've got to do another stand-up show. How many books have you written now? Six. Six.

I'm on my seventh right now. I'm writing a new one. Oh, my gosh. And I just had a phone call with my editor this morning, and I'm like, listen, this is all over the shop. And she's like, do you want to show me some stuff? I'm like, nope. It's not ready for anyone to see.

I've never written a book. I thought you did write a book. No, not one. Oh, that seems weird. I feel like everyone from Chelsea Lately wrote a book. I didn't. I didn't think at the time that people wanted a book from me I felt like it wasn't the right time

But I feel like I maybe have a book in me now Yeah, absolutely I feel like everybody has a book in them But I've never done it Yeah, well that seems like something you should tackle next Do you want to write it for me? Yeah, I would love to be a ghost writer Can you imagine you trying to write my story?

And then this bitch hates some brownies Oh, like I saw the clip. We did an episode of my show. I think it was a Netflix show where we all did cannabis. We had a cannabis dinner. And Fortune was definitely the highest and the funniest for about, they actually sent me, my social media team sent me clips of that dinner. And I was like, you're not capturing how ridiculous this got.

I was like, go back and look at the footage. We need the outtakes. The outtakes, we laughed till we couldn't breathe for like two hours. She thought there was military inside my house. And she's like, is that man wearing a military uniform? I'm like, what? He had on camo pants. And he was the lighting guy.

And he was breaking the lights down. And I started yelling, no lights left behind. I was high for like six days after that dinner. I mean, it was because it was a cannabis-infused dinner. So the food. Everything. Everything. So just when you thought you couldn't get higher, you did.

And she... I have no self-control with food. Wow. But you also don't have any self-control with cannabis because you had never done it before. I had not done a lot of edibles, so I didn't know the ratios. And I can't believe you didn't get sick. I was high until noon the next day, but I did not get sick. But everything was very fuzzy.

Yeah. One of my eyes didn't open the next day until like 8 p.m. It was a wild time. But we did go through the stages of laughing uncontrollably. uncontrollably we got so hungry after the dinner we your assistant was gonna go get us burgers and i went oh yeah i want a burger and then you go or we could just get a wrap and i was like oh a wrap what you're gonna get high and eat something semi-healthy what and then i caved under peer pressure and i went yeah yeah she's like sure i'll take a wrap she's like i'll have

a turkey wrap if chelsea says so spinach tortilla good memory that's exactly what it was can i get some some good fats on there like avocado what drugs did we try in didn't i give you a little mushroom in uh montreal yeah but i didn't end up doing it oh jacks jacks took them all somebody gave me these don't work i think he has a high tolerance those were weak ones actually you know how i knew they were weak i so this guy gave me light medium and then strong i went over to my friend allison's house one day and she's like oh you have to try these mushroom gummies i was like oh my god mushrooms are my favorite that's more i like mushrooms more than cannabis and really why because they just make you awake

i've never had mushrooms i know well why i don't know i'm that nancy reagan campaign really stuck with me. But you're a lesbian and she wouldn't approve of that either, Fortune. So you need to divorce yourself. You have to divorce yourself from Nancy Reagan. Fortune, as someone who had never done mushrooms, and I did like one of those little light gummies when we were in Mallorca with Chelsea, it was so chill. You barely feel it. You just giggle. You have a great time. And then you like, feel yourself kind of coming down from it at the end of dinner. Like, it's not scary. I'm pretty chill, though, already.

Do you think I need to be chiller? It just, no. And I giggle a lot. It's a good point. Like, I guess it would be lost. Maybe I'm already on mushrooms? Maybe. I don't know.

I saw that trip you guys took. Now, Chelsea had two groups of friends come visit her in Mallorca. The first group, they were doing, like, 40-mile bike rides, and I was like, no thanks. and then the second group was like we're eating dinner every night where everyone's bringing food i was like that's the that's the group for me yeah i had actually there was a group preceding those two groups so there were three groups the second group were these exercise maniacs all my friends from whistler and ang who basically left mallorca ran a marathon in berlin

and then came in six in the world championships for triathlon what yes the little one the little That little clam muscle. Yeah. She has no fat on her body. No, she's a fucking lunatic. That's not who you want to hang out in Spain with. Well, by the way, listen, I actually, I was like, this is too much exercise. Like one night I had heat stroke.

I was like, this is too much. But then when the last group came in, I turned into Ange and I took like four of them. I'm like, who wants to go biking? Who wants to go hiking? We went on a five hour hike by accident. Catherine's husband was there to spearhead it. Thank God. Because I can't follow.

Go have fun. Bye. I'll ride in the car. Have you ever tried to follow a trail map? No. Oh, my God. I can't follow a map or anything. So if I had been left to my own devices, I would be dead right now.

Oh, my God. And it was a tricky hike. I mean, it was high and scary. And we had to, like, climb, hike down to the water to hike back up. Finally, our cousin, my cousin Molly, picked us up because we were like, this is a bunch of noise. Your quote-unquote cousin, Molly. Yeah, the one that I'm sleeping with. I was talking about drugs.

Oh, my God. I always go, yeah, that's funny. Molly's funny. I'm Molly. Yeah, you, that hike part, that's too much for me. I would have been eating calamari somewhere. Well, we did. We ate and drank.

Catherine was there. Catherine and Brad came. We had so much sangria every day at lunch. And then I just like, I just, and then I would just, I get motivated by drinking. Like, I want to go exercise again. Like, because sangria is not. So you can drink? So I can burn off the, you know, because you sober up quickly.

But it's just sangria also, which is basically watered down wine. It's red wine, yeah, with ice and fruit. With juice. fruit yeah it's like a it's like a capri sun yeah that's true it's an adult capri sun did you drink a lot do you think you drank more during your days on chelsea lately or do you think you drink more now i probably drink more now yeah yeah i'm so much healthier than i was on chelsea lately but i think i drink the same really yeah like i'm much you know how to handle your liquor Well, do you?

Well, no, you never act like sloppy. Well, I did. I did. I've had sloppy. Well, back then, yeah. Yeah. But now. Now you're a lady.

Now I'm elegant. Now I'm elegant. I used to love the stories you would tell about going out and taking the lemon that lemon juice comes in and emptying it and putting vodka in it. I thought that was hilarious. Well, I would also take those little squeezable lemons you buy in the supermarket. They have the lime and lemon, which is fresh lime juice. well it's not fresh because it's fucking canned but I would take that and then I'd go to the

improv to do a set but I didn't trust their lemons because you know it's the improv and I don't want their fruit and so I would squeeze that little lemon into my vodka wherever I went and it became my personal canteen that is so funny just I just picture you with just getting a lemon where do you wait let's talk about chelsea lately days okay what are let's see what's one of your favorite memories that sticks out can you think of something off the top of your head because we dressed you up like a lot all the time it was borderline abusive what fortune did but she always had such a great attitude about it well you treated me like your adult baby doll like I can just put fortune in whatever I want.

I was just happy to get a paycheck because when I got your show, I had no money. I was out of money. And you became a writer. Well, first you became a writer, but immediately we were like, she has to be on camera. Yeah. When I interviewed with you, I owed my roommate like two grand in rent. Oh, really? Yeah, it was dire straits.

Oh, wow. And I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I mean, I wouldn't have gone home. I would have, you know, figured it out. I would have gotten a job somewhere, Starbucks, wherever. I would have done whatever. But the dream was to be in the business and to be a working comedian. I interviewed with other people first and then had the meeting with Chelsea.

And I had, you know, no expectations of it because I didn't think I had a chance. And honestly, I think that I was first. I think I was your first interview of the day. And now that I know you, I know that like you just make your mind up about something and don't want to come back to have to do something. So I think luckily you liked me and you got up in the middle of my interview, like 10 minutes into it. And you go, OK, well, thank you. And I was like, oh, she hates me. And you left.

And I called my manager at the time. I was like, well, I guess I said something to offend her. she got up in the middle of the interview and y'all offered me the job the next day and now that i know you i know that you just were like yeah i like her and i also don't want to have another meeting so it was a little bit of luck tied to you know well i think anyone that would have met you would have understood the quality and the contribution you were gonna you were about to make because we had such a band of idiots on that show so that anybody with a good sense of humor and that made me laugh and you know was gonna be a good time because that was like a

proper like fraternity party it was that was before well actually no there was hazing probably yeah you guys pranked each other all the time and i think my yeah my second day you sent an email from my computer to like everyone saying that i like to get naked and have take meetings in hot tubs or something like that i would get in early because i'm an early bird so i would get in early and then just start sending emails from different people's account. This was before you could get in trouble for those kinds of things. But I would send emails to human resources and be like, I found two naked people in the kitchen this morning

and then send them a picture of the employees and then they would have a human resource meeting. We would come out to people. I would come out for other people. I would set people up on dates with people from E! Like, it was so inappropriate, everything we did. But it was a lot of fun. We had a lot of fun.

We laughed every day. Oh, yeah. Remember, I remember one day we were sitting there because we would have every time there was a birthday, we would have cupcakes or whatever that person wanted. If they wanted Mexican food, whatever their favorite thing is, we would set it up. And I remember sitting after work one day and we're all sitting there eating Mexican food, drinking margaritas. It was like Margarita Thursdays or something. And I was like, do you think other people laugh as much as we do? And everyone's like, no, no.

And now that I'm not on that show, I realized, no, people don't laugh as much as we were laughing. Yeah, because it was constant stupidity. And it didn't we didn't really even care what other people we never cared how the show was being perceived, which is why I think it was such a success because no one was worried about. Yeah, we just did stupid, stupid sketches. We're like, oh, we should dress somebody up like this or they'd show us a clip from some stupid reality show or something that Tara Reid did. And we'd be like, oh, let's reenact it. And we'll make her be Tara Reid and Chewy could be, you know, a bowling ball or whatever we decided. And we would just run with it. And we didn't have any time to be self-conscious. No. Yeah.

Which is I think that really one of the key ingredients to a successful endeavor is to not overthink it. Yeah. And I think people just really love that you put together all these comedians that like you love seeing everyone interact with each other because everyone would make each other laugh or pick on each other or you would give people crap. So many people still to this day say they felt like they were a part of that with us, like they were going to bed watching us be silly with each other. And that kind of was like lightning in a bottle. You don't see comedians like that interact in that way. yeah we're gonna do it again we're gonna reboot it and we're gonna do it again yeah are you really yeah yeah because now we have all of us and then this whole new crop of comics that are fucking awesome and funny and we can mix them all together and i just want to put a show together where you can show comedians being funny without being racist or sexist since everybody seems to be

fucking complaining about parameters it's like you could do all of those things without being offensive to people you know i want to show them how easily that is done now would you do that like an every night kind of thing again? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, we're having the conversations now, so we'll see where it leads. I don't know. I mean, you're like, I still want to like go to Spain. Let's not get crazy. Well, yeah, it can't be a year round job. Okay. Let's like, I have skiing and I have Spain. My sister's like, how are you going to do a real job with your lifestyle that you've created? I could only work two hours a day. But one thing that's changed for you because you had a lot of different love interests during the show and we were always very

concerned about fortune's love interest we always were we always we didn't want anyone dating her for the wrong reasons and she's so sweet and loving and gullible that at that time you were yeah i mean you're still sweet and loving and probably a little bit gullible and there were a couple uh you know weird ones that came through but now you have been in a successful relationship with Jax for over 10, seven years. Yeah. I came out late, you know, I didn't come out till I was 25. So I was making a lot of mistakes. Like if you take the TV show and television in general away from the mix and me just trying to date, I was making a lot of mistakes that you should make when you're 18, 19, early twenties, you making college, those kinds of things. I was making a

lot of those mistakes in my late twenties, early thirties. And you happen to be around for some of that part in my early 30s you know just you don't know who's dating you for the right reasons or all of a sudden I'm on a television show that females are obsessed with so you know a lot of women kind of came out of the woodwork because they loved you and they love the show and so sometimes you were like do they like me or do they just want to meet Chelsea like I didn't know so I went through some experiences where you find that out and some were some were good some intentions might not have been good for some people but yeah it took me a while to really figure out what I wanted and what I was willing to put up with and what I felt I deserved and

that took me till you know mid-30s to really figure that out and then I met Jax like right as I was figuring that out I met her. So tell us about your relationship with her because it feels very healthy it feels very supportive she moved out here to be with you yeah she doesn't always come on the road with you but you guys obviously spend a fair amount of time together on the road by the way nobody should have to go on the road with anybody because it's a fucking ball buster and that you shouldn't have to expose that to anybody so I get not wanting to do that but tell me about some of the growth that you've had within that relationship and how that supports your mental health and career and all of the things that you know you bring to the table yeah I think I met her

a time where I was tired of being someone's option. I had a lot of people kind of treating me like you'll do for now kind of thing. And I remember specifically being like, I'm done with that. I want to meet somebody that wants to be with me and I'm a priority for them. They're a priority for me. And she came into my life and right away I knew that there was something different about her and about our connection and we just clicked and we were long distance for a year and because she was living in Chicago and then yeah she like made that decision to leave her job she's a kindergarten teacher in Chicago and inner city Chicago really amazing teacher and I remember being like am I ruining this person's life by like having her come out to LA she's such

an amazing teacher and she loves Chicago but you know she did that for me she wanted us to work and us to be together and I was touring a lot and acting and if she hadn't done that you know we might not have been able to to make it because I my schedule was so crazy but she was willing to put me first and no one had ever done that for me before and so she moved here and we just kind of started this life together and yeah it's a very I think very healthy relationship that you know we support each other and she's very helpful with career stuff she's kind of like part of the circus now she's always I don't there's no decision I don't run by her she's very much at the helm of everything I do she was executive producer on both my specials oh wow yeah like and very good at it

too not just like putting her name on it she's going frame by frame with me watching all the shows and all the shots and making decision picking music helping with fonts you know all that stuff that goes into these specials you don't think about my team as they say loops her into everything she's very much a part of things more than people realize uh-huh so you know she's just wants me to succeed and be happy and that's what you want you know I want her to be happy where I'm always like what can we do to give you balance you know if you don't want to go on the road don't let's find things that are important to you and things like that you know and do you guys how do you guys handle any friction in your relationship when that comes up or does it not

come up do you not have any friction oh every I mean I don't know any couple that doesn't I was just pretending to ask the question I didn't mean that yeah I mean we we definitely have our moments like everybody but I try with her because she is my wife we got married two years ago even if you're like or disagreeing or fussing at each other or getting on each other's nerves I try never to be mean you know what I mean or say mean things because those things are hard to walk back yeah but that's not your personality anyway right that's my personality you're just you're just you would never be mean like that I'm not sure I can be mean I don't know I don't I've never seen you be mean I'm sure I'm sure I've been a dick plenty here try it right now say something mean

yeah it's the accent but I get on her nerves for sure I'm a little I definitely have tunnel vision when it comes to my career and I have to really make myself step outside of myself sometimes to be like you are being too eye on the prize like you have a wife you have other people in your life you have to think about you cannot just be thinking about you have a dog that needs to be breastfed yes i have to breastfeed my dog you know what i mean because you get so wrapped up in work absolutely no i get it i've been there i'm always there i have to always remind myself to have a life i mean even though it doesn't look that way from afar it's an internal struggle i have all the time yeah you know and I never want her to feel neglected or like I'm not putting our

relationship as a priority so and I'm guilty of for sure like getting too much tunnel vision with my career that sometimes I'm like oh shoot I didn't I should have been better about her birthday you know things like that I don't want to be that person that neglects my person because of career Because at the end of the day, I do want to be successful, but I don't want that to be everything. It can't be everything. I have to have balance. Yeah. So that's my challenge.

Yeah. I think that is very relatable to anybody in this industry. You know, it's like ambition versus balance. Because ambition is you want to remain relevant, right? And you want to have people asking you to do things and you want things to not be as challenging as they were. But I think as you become more and more successful, it's like there's different sorts of challenges. And it's it never seems to this business. It never seems to be enough.

You know what I mean? Like for your own self, but for even other people, like I can be like, oh, I've got a special coming out and an action series. And people are like, what else? What's next? Why is that not enough? I know. I know. But it never feels like there's enough.

Maybe because we consume so much so quickly now. Yeah. With entertainment. It just seems like everyone's like, what next? what next what next that you feel like you can't even stop and breathe to like enjoy what you just did you're like thinking about the next thing so that will be the thing in my relationship that I have to really pause and make sure I don't get too stuck on that career stuff that I'm making the the person that I love feel like they're not a priority yeah and do you guys have you guys ever

been to counseling couples counseling early on we went to a couple sessions because I was in therapy I originally went to therapy to get to the bottom of why I was choosing the women I was choosing why I was putting up with certain things and not thinking more highly of myself in that way so she came and did a few sessions with that therapist that I was with at the time but we haven't that was a gynecologist by the way it wasn't a therapist I'm just here to tell you that I referred you to her and that was a gynecologist well it all checked out clear baby all clear so she proceeded with caution uh no we haven't done it since but I would be open to it you know I mean I think it doesn't it couldn't hurt I would imagine it would help with your communication in

general if there's any anybody that's feeling like they can't say something I would hope that would be the place you could yeah i was watching that show couples therapy that we were talking about have you ever seen that on showtime couples therapy it's like a real real life couples with this therapist i love that shit i fucking love watching couples in therapy because you see the transformation that happens and you see when there's no hope for a couple where somebody's just done and the other person but sometimes it seems that way in the beginning and then they come together and then it's really about listening to the other person some people can't hear you know like in when there's conflict they just shut down and they can't hear what the other

person is saying and then that becomes that cycle but anyway speaking of counseling we're going to start counseling right now because that's what we're doing people call in for advice so katherine what do we have on deck for this afternoon we have some bad parents is what we have oh no so kinky yeah kinky parents i mean actually one of there might be some but we'll take a quick break and we'll be right back with some colors the jonas brothers are running it back we live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest jonas brother hits that have defined a generation one incredible celebration one unforgettable night see the jonas brothers live at rbc amphitheater september 28th get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca jonas brothers the burning up tour all over again

when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart And these are the survivor files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters,

pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right

place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies

you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip. I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space.

You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it. And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back. We're back. Fortune's still in the tub, so I'm back alone. Oh, there she is. She just popped out. Let me just put my towel on. Hold on. I'm ready for advice.

Amazing. Well, don't forget to hang up your loofah and our first email is from Taryn. Taryn says, Dear Chelsea, my name is Taryn and I'm a 34-year-old lesbian from Atlanta, Georgia. I'm set to get married to the love of my life this year. We are both absolutely thrilled to finally be getting married as we've been engaged for almost three years and together for five. My immediate family shares our excitement and has been nothing but supportive of us. However, her parents do not have the same feelings, and we've been led to believe that they will not be attending our wedding. This thought absolutely breaks my heart because I've grown to know her family and love them dearly.

What's even more heartbreaking is having to listen to my fiancé as she tries to navigate how to talk to her parents. They've said they want to talk about it but have made zero effort in discussing details about our wedding and state only vague religious reasons as to why they're not supportive. My question is this. Do you think I need to try and say anything to her parents, or should I continue to stay on the sidelines and just be an emotional support for my fiancé? She's let me know she doesn't want me to talk to them about it, and I should let it go.

But I can't help but hurt for her, and I wonder if talking to them might help them see a different perspective. I absolutely love your podcast, and I highly appreciate any advice you have for me. Taryn. See, I'm always an interloper. I like to get into people's business and get involved. So I don't know that this is the right advice for you.

It's not. But okay. So yeah, Fortune, you give the advice. No, no, no. You go. I'm teasing. You go. You go.

I'll go after you. I just, I always overstep and it's not always received warmly. So I can't say that it's the right thing to do, but I would make a case in writing about the impact that this is going to have on their child. You would write a letter? I would write an email. An email. Yeah.

I would just be like, this is going to be forever. We're going to get married and you are going to forever have missed that moment in your child's life and what you're foregoing, like not with the idea that the outcome was going to be to change their mind, but to just try everything possible to persuade them to reconsider one of the most important moments in their daughter's life. Yeah. How about you, Fortune? Well, I mean, I think I can totally see you doing that

because there's nothing that you're going to not speak out about. That's the beauty of you. If you see something, you say something, you do. Like, if you see something that's wrong, you're like, I don't, this isn't right, which is great. I'm a bit more passive. In my opinion, I would be more of the support system for the partner because she said that she doesn't want her to speak out.

You know what I mean? Like, she's made that clear. Yes, yes. But I also, from my experience with people and the gay thing and the religious thing together, whatever she's going to write is not going to change their mind right now. I think people have to evolve eventually or not. She could write the letter. I don't, I guess if you thought, what's the worst that will happen? They're already not coming.

Right. You know what I mean? Right. So there is kind of nothing to lose-ish. but to me i i don't think it will change their opinion when it comes to the wedding because those deep-seated religious beliefs take a while to unravel that's for sure yeah and they do unravel yeah people can evolve or see how happy you are but also it's your day it's your wedding day it's about you too and do you want that there do you even i know it's sad for your partner but do you

want someone there that doesn't wish you well yeah that's a good point actually I know but I think who wouldn't want their parents there I get that too obviously it's sad no matter what but I would want my parents there for sure but I don't know how good it would feel seeing them across the room eating a slider looking like they hate every moment of being there yeah but if you think about it and they they're stood together for many years and then there's always that gaping whole of their wedding day that their parents missed. It's like they're missing out on the rest of her life in a sense. Like they're missing this real pivotal moment. And I would want to lay it out to give you every last opportunity to make sure you don't miss that. Even if it's just the

mother who came or the father who came or whoever's less religious, or I don't know how to frame it, but I mean, I would do it, but I'm not recommending that you do it because I just can't control myself well also if you do do it if you want to write that email do it with the expectation of having no expectation yeah absolutely I agree with that advice yeah yeah just end softly with love yeah you can't be like you did this you did that it has to be like handled with some kid gloves yeah and the fact that Taryn said she also cares for these parents I think is a really good sign you know she's not like oh I hate them they're terrible she's like no I also care for them. And it hurts me that they wouldn't be there. I do love the idea of writing a letter

so it's not as like heightened emotions. But I don't know. I don't understand why people think that this like sitting out a moment in their kid's life is going to punish them or teach them a lesson or that they're not participating, that it's going to change any result. I don't know that they think that. I think they just think this is sacrilegious, like I can't lay witness to this because it's not under my belief system i don't think that they're trying to teach them a lesson it's more like we can't sully ourselves with this kind of similar i'm not going to get into heaven if i go to this right right yeah yeah i mean maybe an email maybe an email i mean maybe i'm coming around on this maybe an email i don't know don't let chelsea write it she's like what

What the fuck is wrong with you? I would handle it because at the end of the day, they are her parents. I would handle it as respectful as possible. And they are going to be your in-laws for many years to come. And I don't think that means to like not ever push back against it. Goodness knows I have pushed back against things with my own in-laws. But at the same time, I do have the expectation and I know that they're going to be in my life for a very long time. So what I say or do, it lasts and it matters.

But if there is one thing that either of you would say if these parents decide not to go to the wedding, and fortunately you kind of touched on this, but is there something that you would say to help this couple kind of feel better about the outcome? Well, it's the same thing I would say for any event where you're disappointed in something that's not there,

you have to celebrate the people that are there. It's like if you don't sell out a show, you can't be worried about the 100 tickets that aren't sold. You have to worry about the 1,500 tickets that are sold and the people that paid money to see you come. And in the case of a wedding, you have to think about all of the people that are there supporting you and loving you.

And if you go to someone's wedding, you're usually going to be friends with that person for a very long time. You know, that's an investment into a friendship. And that's a beautiful thing. And yeah, as Fortune said, you just have to think of it as like negative energy. We don't want that there on our special day.

We want people that are applauding us and like supporting us and to focus on that love and to keep reminding yourself of the gratitude you have for all the people that are there. yeah I mean I had a wedding party we got married in COVID and had a wedding party a year later and there were a couple family people that couldn't come for various reasons and I was focused at first on that being a bummer and being like disappointed in that and then I finally had to let it go and it ended up being such a special night and had so many friends there and love and

the friends that couldn't come you know I heard from and you have to just lean into that love and the positive part of it because at the end of the day you met someone you're marrying and if you think about that it's like it is so hard to find a person that you want to settle down with and that wants to settle down with you just finding each other was a miracle a miracle so lean into that and recognize that you did it you found someone you want to be with they love you and that is the true celebration and all the other stuff is just you know it's people they're loving and supporting you that's the positive cherry on top but it is not what it's about it's about you too it's funny you use the word miracle because Gwen Stefani uses that word all the time and I

whenever I see her I always make fun of her I'm like not everything's a miracle Gwen and she's like meeting blake was a mirror and that happened she goes meeting blake was a miracle it's a miracle i was like he was sitting right fucking next to you on the voice why is that a miracle and she's like chelsea it's a miracle that i fell in love with him i'm like and then i was like i started thinking about i'm like yeah maybe it is a miracle maybe my cynical mind doesn't believe in miracles and maybe every little thing is a miracle i think two people coming together and in that way that you you really think you can spend your life with this person you're gonna wake up to this person every day and not get tired of each other that's a miracle yeah but you don't

know that you're not going to get tired you you might yeah you might but you're going into it thinking i think we could do this these two things had to line up for us to get to this point and they're gwen and blake are seemingly very different on the outside so in a way that is kind of like who would have ever thought her growing up in anaheim him in oklahoma that their past would somehow cross like that that's probably what she means yeah yeah i don't know it's a miracle it's miraculous just enjoy it right i guess write that email i think that's what we landed on yeah yeah and you can title the email every day a miracle yeah love is a miracle behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat

the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or come home at all and will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B.

I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space.

You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it. And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Well, our next question comes from Jess. She's in her late 20s. She says, Dear Chelsea, my parents have always pulled my sister and I into their toxic, manipulative relationship. When we were younger, they'd scream at each other, give each other the silent treatment, tell one another they were going to move out, all right in front of us. My dad made us unknowing accomplices in his affair. My mom would use us as pawns during their fights. I'm now in my late 20s, living independently from my parents,

and I've been working with an amazing therapist for the last two years on reparenting myself. Because of that, the most recent time my parents tried to pull me into their bullshit, yes, they're still doing this, I said enough is enough. I had a really uncomfortable conversation with my mom, where I shared that I needed lots of space, and that moving forward, I'll be making choices to protect myself from being pulled into their relationship troubles. They've been going to therapy, but I haven't seen much improvement on this specific topic. During our infrequent phone calls, they'll slip in that they're mad

at each other for some reason, blah, blah, blah. I've been very open each time it happens that I don't want to hear it. Here are the reasons why, etc. Here's the issue. My sister, who I rarely get to see, invited my parents and I to Thanksgiving at her house this year. I'd love to see my sister and her fiancé, but I just don't think my parents will be able to keep it together. The house we'll be in doesn't allow for a ton of privacy, and they live out in the middle of nowhere, so I can't stay somewhere else. I know that if I go, I'll somehow get entangled in their bullshit, if only from a spectator standpoint. They don't really scream and fight in front of us anymore, though I'm sure they still do this in private. Now, it's mostly underlying manipulation,

giving each other the cold shoulder openly, sending each other texts like, maybe I'll just move out when I get home, which are easily seen on my mom's phone from a distance because she has her font up to a thousand. So what should I do? I don't want to be around my parents together for that long since I know the boundaries still aren't there. Is it shitty to just skip holidays and family gatherings until this is resolved,

knowing it might never be resolved? I don't want to look back and think I missed out on valuable time with my family, but I've also been around enough fighting for an entire lifetime. Jess. Hi, Jess. Hi, Jess.

Hi. Hi. That's so fucked up. Thank you. Oh, my God. I can't believe your parents are like act like that. I know. Yeah, I think they're doing their best, but their best is they're not doing their best. I'm so sick of everybody saying that. Not everybody is doing their best. Some people are just coasting and like just getting by. Not everybody's doing their best.

I mean, obviously, they don't have the tools to be doing better because otherwise, hopefully they would. But yeah, you don't have to give them that much credit. How long have they been married? Oh, I think like 25 years. So, yeah. And they've never separated or anything like that? They separated. There was like an affair in there.

So they separated during that time. It was obviously handled poorly. We've never spoken about it really as a family. And then they got back together just out of habit. They're like, I guess you'll do. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. And when you started like setting the boundaries for them,

how did they respond to that it was really bad there's actually been an update since then so they've been going to counseling and they went like three times and they're like we're good and they asked if I would come to the counseling with them once to like have me share the boundaries in a facilitated way because it was just hard to share and even in that facilitated way they didn't get it they just kept saying like this is just how we grew up and this is just how it is and like it's so small like this doesn't matter but it's pretty intense so i don't know they just can't understand it's just how they grew up it does feel like that older generation is less into therapy and more of like you just gotta stick it out and the rest of us are

like cut bait jump ship yeah it's like you know when people think that's like a fixed state of being it's like no you're in a state of mind that you've decided is a fixed state of being it's a everything is a state of mind that attitude and that disposition is like that's not how you have to be you have other options but they're like no this is me yeah and what I've been struggling with is like I don't think that's my job to help them through it but do I just like not see them until then knowing that it could never get any better and all of my friends have awful relationships with their parents so nobody else nobody else in my life knows how to handle those either so I don't know. Well, what about your sister? Is she so she's okay with having Thanksgiving with

them? Because I don't want you to miss out on Thanksgiving because your parents I just feel like you kind of have to flip your narrative. They are going to be the way they are. And I think you have to try and have less of an impact on you, especially around important holiday family times. This is an important holiday that I don't want you to miss. Because of that, I understand setting boundaries. I think that's totally healthy for the rest of the year when it's not Christmas or whatever Hanukkah, whatever you celebrate, if there's a way that you can go and just disengage when that happens and not take it on so much yourself, kind of, I don't want to say disassociate because that can be a dangerous word, but just kind of take a step back and not let it affect

you so much, knowing that they're limited and that they're going to remain that way and that you've said what you're going to say and just leaving the room when things are going for a walk outside when things get heated and just being like i told you guys i don't want to be a part of this and making sure that every time you remove yourself from the situation when you feel like you're getting to a place where it becomes untenable for yourself yeah yeah you don't want to miss a good family drama at thanksgiving i mean sometimes that is fun well it's that it's fun if you don't come from a family like that when your dad's like can you pass a turkey and she's like you had an affair i mean it's so pathetic that their children have to set boundaries for them

you know like way to parent your parents but don't you think that happens a lot yeah yes i do i do i feel i mean it sucks it sucks it's like you can't change them and you can't make them have a happy healthy relationship and if they're not gonna divorce you also can't change that so i mean it is up to you to have to either you don't go but again like Chelsea said you're missing out on these big family holidays or you go with again like tapering your expectations of what's going to happen and trying not to let yourself get affected so heavily by their energy and their actions towards each other finding ways to like be with your sister when you're there focusing on that you know catching up there and just letting mom and dad sort of hash it out in

the kitchen you know instead of like getting in the middle you can just be like I'm out I'm just here for sweet potatoes yeah or even any time it comes up or if there is a fight you put on a podcast and fucking listen to it or put on an album and listen to it sorry I'm not doing this you don't have to let it run you for during that time it's it's actually a pretty good mental gym exercise for you to be able to go to an event and let them kind of do their thing. I mean, they've gotten the warning, so they're probably going to be on better behavior than they have been, even though their best behavior is still probably not going to be good enough. I think it's a good exercise for you to be a little bit more tolerant, knowing that you've

kind of drawn the lines and then just removing yourself when it becomes annoying or too much, just walking outside and going for a walk and coming back. That sends the message also, like, cool it or I'm going to leave. Yeah. What Fortune and Chelsea are saying echoes something I talked about with my therapist recently where we were going home for a family thing and I was crying about like, well, what if I have to talk about this stuff with my family and they're going to be shitty about it? Or if I don't, then they're going to talk shit behind my back, blah, blah, blah. Just, you know, kind of being emotional about family stuff. And my therapist said something that was so freeing, which was, yeah, families talk shit. They're going to do what they're going to do regardless of what you have going on, regardless sometimes of the boundaries that you've set. The only one we can control is ourself. And so for me, it was such a light to just be like, oh, that's just a thing. I don't have to let it activate my stuff. it doesn't have to get through to me and I love the idea of just like sitting there with a little podcast and like taking a mental break do a you know a headspace meditation chill out for a little bit yeah just tell your parents you'd rather listen to Russian state propaganda and then turn

on Russian state news and then listen to them fucking bicker at the table you know or put on my Netflix special good fortune yeah yeah I think I just need to get comfortable like they get mad when we don't get pulled in and i think i just need to be comfortable being like that's your thing i'm gonna sit here and yeah well people like that want a reaction and if you stop giving them that reaction eventually they will stop they won't at first but you got to kind of retrain them but if you are reactive to what they're doing they're doing it because they know they're gonna get a response from you and that's what they want they because they're not getting stuff from each other so now they're putting the tentacles out elsewhere and you just have to not i know it's

hard it requires self-control on your part but yeah you just can't give the reaction they want or any reaction you're i'm eating my sweet potatoes and then look at your mom and say bitch okay maybe don't say that part don't say that or say it i mean who fucking gives a shit yeah or say it you'll have a good time I say go to Thanksgiving I say take some mushrooms and go to Thanksgiving take some mushrooms and just sit there

and you'll have a great time no matter what the fuck's going on go there knowing you're going to have the best time ever slip your parents some mushrooms that's a good idea too I love this I'm feeling much better about this yeah go with a good sense of humor yeah treat it all be lighter yourself

going to it don't go like dreading it just fucking mushrooms air pods yeah good fortune good fortune cookie exactly yeah for yourself and then read it to them and say it says you guys are getting divorced fucking fast track that shit play two truths and a lie oh or your sister and you can make a game out of it you know you guys can have a nice hidden game about how many times they get you know say something or you drink each other yeah you just every time your mom brings up your dad cheating you drink we'll be wasted but yeah i think i think you going lighter to it might help your anxiety as

well yeah i already feel better i was not taking the light approach at all it was just like i'm gonna go or i'm not gonna go but yeah i guess here's the best part you don't live with them and you don't have to deal with that all the time you get to leave yeah yeah that should make you happy you don't you're not the person stuck in that yeah i was just like i wonder if i want to i could pay 800 to watch people fight or i could go on a trip without these people and have a good time right well you don't have to spend every holiday with them that's true yeah just so you know i don't spend every holiday with my family yeah that doesn't make you a bad daughter right it might trigger somebody telling me i'm a bad daughter but no who cares about that we already

decided you don't care you're also entering your adult phase i used to spend every holiday when i was in my 20s but once i hit my 30s you're because i felt guilt you don't have to spend every holiday with them yeah and this is the first year i think it's that like weird in between of like it's just expected but okay choose one i would go i would do like every other one every year thanksgiving one year christmas the next year but that's up to you that's up to you totally off the next year yeah yeah and then you and your sister can like go to mexico with her fiance next year that sounds good yeah my sister is much better about all of this she just has no emotions that's because she's on mushrooms yes

amazing well thank you jess i appreciate you calling in and sharing this with us because i think it's going to help a lot of people a lot of people have questions maybe not as bad of behavior as your parents but similar questions awesome well thank you so much for the advice i really appreciate it you're welcome happy thanksgiving thank you bye bye oh she's so sweet yeah yeah couples like that need to do mdma therapy where they're both on molly and then all of a sudden create some new neural pathways yeah yeah yeah all of a sudden they're walking Real naked. That's a Thanksgiving. That sounds great.

Well, we'll take a quick break and we'll be right back to wrap up with Fortune and Chelsea. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on Internet

with a two-year term and auto-pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying,

shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,

the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of

traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book

your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it. And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now husband, Andrew, was the one.

He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Fortune. We're back with Fortune Feimster. Welcome back, ladies. Fortune, do you have any advice you'd like to get from Chelsea?

Well, it kind of is stemming off of what we were talking about earlier before we took the calls. I was gonna ask you if you did recommend couples therapy because I feel like it has that like negative connotation of like you only go if there are problems but I've been hearing more and more people lately talk about that it that it's shouldn't be like treated like that that you should go even if your relationship is good and healthy that it can help you in ways you never thought and I had never thought about it like that until I recently heard that and so I was just curious. Yeah, I think so. I think it's very proactive because it's a helps with communication because like you have to understand as healthy as your relationship may be, two different people

come from two different backgrounds and have two completely separate histories and two different ways of viewing things. And it's only advantageous to learn about how somebody else sees things. You can only learn from that. And the strongest connection with people is communication. Like that is the number one ingredient to be able to communicate in a loving, calm way, even when conflict arises because it's going to arise. Something will happen where there's conflict at some point. And when you have the tools to deal with that, it doesn't become a hurdle. It just becomes like almost an opportunity to grow closer. Yeah. You know, and I feel like that kind of connection, especially with a third party, really can bring people together when both

people are very open to hearing about the other person's perceptions and experiences. So I am a total you know I don't think I'll date anyone who hasn't been to therapy or who isn't open to going to therapy yeah I think both of us would be open to it but neither of us have really taken that seriously or or approached each other about it because we didn't want the other person to assume there was an issue yeah yeah you know so there I feel like sometimes we just don't say it because I'm like I don't have an issue and you don't I think have an issue so by us bringing this up are they gonna think that we have a problem in the relationship that we don't you know what i mean so that's okay i'll bring it up we're going a happy hour later so i'll just bring it up naturally

and just suggest but she said it she said it to me before and i've been like you know so it's not like something she's against i just feel like it does have that negative thing around it when you say couples therapy people will yeah automatically go well what's wrong yeah and that's not the case No, I don't think so at all. I think really smart people go like proactively go to get, you know, so that you have somebody. And then it doesn't have to be like a regular thing. Like you don't have to go every week. You could go once a month. But when there is a conflict or a crisis or something comes up and that's when you can lean on someone and you know you have that at your disposal, which is always just, I think, such a huge advantage, you know, to know you have somebody you can lean on for those kinds of things. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, there you go. And that wraps up this episode of Dear Fortune Cookie.

Dear Fortune Cookie. Don't forget to watch Fortune's special, her latest special on Netflix, Good Fortune. There's snuggling happening. I can't wait for you to be part of our throuple. We are going to talk to our therapist about it. About inviting somebody in sexually. Thank you, Fortune. We love you.

I love you, bud. Thanks for having me. Love you. Thank you so much. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartRadio, executive produced by Nick Stumpf, produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.

Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman

I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. if your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality welcome home pro society is a weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse each week

we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions yeah i'm obsessed i'm us. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook.

Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us.

Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Nick Turturro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone, from Seth Rollins. What are you doing with my belt?

To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro. It's called happiness. Delivering happiness. And many, many more. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, and listen now. This is an iHeart Podcast.

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