Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Becoming a Male Lion with Haley Lu Richardson

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

Haley Lu Richardson (White Lotus) joins Chelsea to talk about her bedside-table collection of “besties”, the text that got her a B- from her therapist, and the breakup that helped her grow the most. Then: A newly-relocated caller debates whether to date on the apps.  And an office romance goes awry.  * Get your copy of I’m Sad and Horny here * The Drama Triangle * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh, no way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus,

or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just announced all my tour dates. They just went on sale. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be starting debuting my new material in February of next year. So I'm coming to Washington, D.C., Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus, and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago, of course, Indianapolis,

Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Mesa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri, St. Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California, and Port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June. Those are the cities that I'm in. So go get your tickets now. If you want good seats and you want to come see me perform, I will be on the high and mighty tour. Hi, Catherine. Hello, Chelsea. I am fresh off of Vegas. I came in a car service. I was supposed to, my flight was redirected. No, no, I did not drive here. I was in Vegas. I, I forgot to leave Vegas

immediately after my show. So I went to go see Alanis last night. Very fun. So yes, so I went to Vegas for my show, my residency. I do what I do every time I have my show. I had like, you know, 15 friends came out. We go and we gamble. I supply the money for everyone to gamble.

Everyone lost my money. Every single person lost, myself included. And I was like, you guys are bad juju. Like, whatever, fine, it's no problem. That money was there to lose. that I have an allotment that I never spend over. I only take out $2,500 and I give it to everyone and then I don't ever take out more.

So then the next night we went to see Alanis and right as soon as the show was wrapping, they all wanted to go out. And I said, I have to go win back the money you guys all lost of mine last night. Okay, go have fun. So I went, I had no money left because it was gone. So I sat down at a table and looked at the guy next to me

and said, I need to borrow $1,000 and I will pay you right back. And he was like, sure. and I won right away. I paid him back a thousand and then I won my $3,000 back. And as soon as I did, I went upstairs and went to sleep.

I gotta say, you just like decide you're going to win your money back and then it happens. Like I've seen it in action. Yeah, thank you. I know, I like it. It's karmically,

because I'm not being greedy. I just want everyone to have a good time and I want to break even. Yes, break even. Yes, exactly. That's what women can teach men to not be so avaricious, to just be happy with what you have

and be grateful. Exactly. I mean, that's not true. I'm not grateful. I mean, you know what I mean? I am grateful, but I'm not grateful enough for all the things I have. I have to remind myself to be grateful. That's why you have the Gratitude Journal.

Yeah, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. Just keep saying it. Say it all day long. Well, I'm grateful for our guest today. She's very cute. Oh, my God. She's the cutest. I love her.

She really, like, raised our spirits. She, yes, yes. This was such a fun interview. You'll know her from The White Lotus, probably. And she's in a lot of other stuff. But that's how I was introduced to her. and she's just a little buttercup and we i mean she's now living in arizona so that's the only questionable decision of hers that i have a problem with but no offense to arizona but there's no

reason to live there you know and she has a cute book called i'm sad and horny which is a great title yeah so yes welcome hayley lou richardson hi hayley lou hi how are you i'm a breath of fresh air that's nice that's what you are okay imagine if someone's just like how are you today and you're like, I'm a breath of fresh air. But it's nice to hear. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah.

Hi. Do you feel like a breath of fresh air? Sometimes. I'm trying to think if I feel that way today. I think you have to feel that way today. I think I'm a breath of air. Yeah, I don't know if it's fresh today. It's like I'm breathing, so.

Yeah. Sometimes, you know, when I'm walking through the world, I feel like I can definitely lift other people up. You know what I mean? There are days where I'm like, oh, I can infuse that person, like even a stranger, with happiness and just spread joy. And then when I'm in a shitty mood or a bad mood, I'm like, I hope no one makes eye contact with me and catches what I'm traveling around with.

Yeah, I know what I mean. I don't want to spread the bad vibes. Yeah, it's like the best thing you can do on those types of days is not spread whatever energy you have. Like maybe just hermit at home. Yeah, just like stay at home. Yeah, that's what I do. Usually it involves a Xanax and an edible.

I like to pair those two things together just to like take it down. And so that way I'm almost – I have to numb out. Like if I'm in that state, I just have to numb out because otherwise I become like hysterical. Yeah. And I just – and there's like a feeling of rage. Yeah. Crafts help me. I don't know if you're into crafts, but crafts are like I guess my Xanax.

Like what kind? like beading crocheting and like making fridge magnets like i don't know if maybe it's like something about resorting to your inner child that like but maybe try a xanax an edible and a fridge magnet and making a bracelet and making a bracelet you know i was reading through your new book of poetry hailey liu has a new book of poetry called i'm sad and horny yeah true which is a great fucking title it's a great title for a tour i'm sorry that you took it although i could probably still use it but i won't and which is a surprise because we know you you're your most famous role not your only role you've been in tons of stuff but you're most sweat that literally was

just dripping that's very welcome here it's fine it was full of like a tear my armpits were crying your armpits were crying yeah i'm really not sad um yeah and that horny yeah i guess you're dripping that's how horny you are yeah you're most well known for playing Portia on White Lotus that was a huge role for you I know you've been in tons of stuff you were in a you were in Unpregnant you were I mean there's a whole litany of you've been acting since you were a kid but everyone found out about you during White Lotus so you're coming out with this book of poetry which is very unexpected I would never have expected that from anyone really so that's a fun thing to be in life yeah keep them guessing keep them on their toes yeah and so can I just

read one of the poems out loud or would you prefer to read it? No, please. Do you want to have it read to you? I'm interested in which one. Cause there's lots of art too in this. I'm going to pick one of the ones at the top because I didn't like there, there, there, first of all, there's beautiful artwork in this. Thank you. Shout out to my friend, Lily. Yeah. Shout out to your friend, Lily. Okay. This one's called new place alone in South Africa, put my underwear in a drawer and bought some throw pillows. Maybe it'll finally feel like home. It never felt like one when we were together. Now I want to take your last name and fall asleep to the sound of your deviated septum, the Mandela effect, or am I a spoiled brat? I know myself deeper than that.

To be alone in South Africa is better than being lonely with you. That's really cool. I like it better. That's cool. So that poem is about, it sounds like it's about a breakup. it sounds like it sounds like it sounds like you moved to South Africa after a breakup I was living in South Africa for a movie and yeah I mean it's it's kind of self-explanatory it's interesting because that one is about to me personally multiple relationships and just like this journey of like accepting just like actually being on your own uh-huh but yeah that was cool hearing you read it well I think that we have a lot of people who call in and write in with similar questions to that, where it's like, they're afraid of being alone. And I mean,

they might be like 32 and they're like, and if I leave this relationship, I'll be alone forever. And it's like, first of all, not likely true. Actually, it's better to be alone and be with yourself than be in a relationship where you're lonely. Yeah, feeling lonely with someone else is like the most empty feeling in the world. And being alone, feeling lonely on your own is actually okay like it's actually proving to be not super awful all the time it's awful sometimes but I like it a lot of the time yeah and I think I mean this book you kind of covers the transition I think from your 20s to your 30s right it's like a comprehensive well I mean I just turned 30 so it's not like I moving into moving into your 30s from your 20s moving into your 30s which is a

really integral part of like becoming a woman you know like I didn't really feel like a woman until I turned 50 this year. Wow. Like now I feel like a woman, but like a woman. Oh my gosh, cool. Like a lion, you know, like a lioness.

Yeah. Actually, no, I feel like a male lion. Wow. Yeah, that's fun. I can't wait to get there. Yeah. Because I like,

I don't feel like a woman. I feel like a woman. Like I'm excited to feel like a male lion. And do you feel like, do you feel like a woman or do you feel like a girl? Do you feel you're a woman?

I feel like a woman. Okay, that's good. Yeah, I feel like a, not a woman. Right. But a woman. Yeah. I do.

and that's yeah I do I mean I think what is so underappreciated or so we don't speak enough about it in like the female space is and men of course don't want to talk about it because men don't want us to be alone you know they want us to pair up with them but the value of spending time by yourself the value of going through breakups reflecting about back on them understanding that you survived that you're okay that you're gonna do that no matter what happens you will overcome it unless you're diagnosed with some you're she's super horny right now she's do you need a tissue do we need we need a tissue for hayley she's leaking everyone from my pit it's okay it's okay i'm also that's what it is like i'm not hot did you have coffee i find coffee

makes me sweat but you know what i will thank you so much i think it's truly because of my deodorant i use like it's not it's a deodorant it's not an antiperspirant so it like is it It's like my sweat smells good, but it's just like it almost makes me more wet. Yeah. Are you using organic deodorant? Because that doesn't work. I know it doesn't. It doesn't work at all.

I just don't want whatever. What is it? The aluminum? Aluminum. But we're getting it anyway. No, we get it. I know. I might as well just surrender.

I might as well. You know, with all this organic stuff, it's like that's a great idea if my whole life was cleaned out by some sort of organic, you know, Buddha or some sort of shaman that was gonna come in and clean out my whole house but that's kind of impossible because we live in this world at this time and it's like plastic in our brain yeah we do yeah i've just learned to accept it right like what else can we do it's like okay okay keep eating organic i'll try i'll get some dove i'll try one step at a time so back to your womanhood yeah so because you were in a long relationship you were in a seven-year relationship right at one point this was you broke up a long

time ago from that, I think, but you were in a seven year relationship in which you thought as many young people in their twenties think that you're going to be with the person that you love like that forever. Yeah. It was all I saw in my life was just this person for the rest of it. Like I, I actually never even went to the place where I would be like, but what if it doesn't work? I just, from the second I met him, I never, I never went there. I was like, always, this is my person And this is the rest of my life. And how did you deal with that breakup? Being dealt information, which is, okay, now this is not what you had to, you know, had

planned. You know, I think I dealt with it the best I could. I dealt with it. I dealt with it, which is important, you know, and it was like, obviously, like up and down rollercoaster journey. I think that was – we're coming up on like almost five years since that breakup and there's been a lot of like realization since then, like a lot of aha moments and obviously the – like it's felt lonely and painful and confusing and all of the feelings to be able to get to the different aha moments. But like I do feel like I've let him go and let that like dream of that future go at this point almost five years later, which is pretty cool. And do you feel stronger because of the breakup?

Yeah, I do. I feel stronger and I feel like I've always had some level of connection to myself and love for myself. Sometimes it's felt deeper down than other times, but like it's gotten – that tether to like myself has gotten so much stronger, which in turn I think makes you stronger, made me stronger. So, yeah, actually, I know this sounds super dumb and cliche, but, like, I'm really happy it happened. I really am. But I think that's the point I'm trying to make to all of our listeners is that, you know, when you do break up and we have these ideas and we have these attachments to outcomes, not even to the person necessarily but to the outcome of the situation, it's like if you knew, if you weren't looking at a relationship and you were just looking at, like, a math equation and you're like, okay, two plus two. Okay, a relationship plus a breakup is going to equal this, meaning you're going to get stronger, you're going to get wiser, you're going to get closer to yourself.

These are all the things that are going to happen because of this heartbreak. Yeah, and the journey of the heartbreak is so nonlinear and sometimes feels impossible and pitiful and just hopeless that it's like it is when you're in that position in the low times, it seems impossible to believe that equation. but you know what i did last night actually that is on this topic i journal a lot which is where a lot of my poetry comes from and you handwrite everything and i handwrite yeah i love handwriting because i feel like like when i'm angry like my writing is angry when i'm like feeling grounded my writing is beautiful when i'm and like it's just just a cool cathartic expression but every

time I finish a journal I have this like ritual where I go through it and I kind of read back what I was writing about and experiencing and then I rip up the pages sometimes I burn them sometimes I flush them down the toilet throw it all away and it's like a light sage it's like a whole like thing to cleanse from that and last night I finished a journal and I went through it and I was reading the things at the beginning of my journal and you know my current kind of things that I'm like a heartbreak journey that I'm that I'm on I'm like I was having all these same thoughts that kind of reoccur that I feel now but I was having so much more of them and they were so much more like hysterical and had like a stronger hold on me than they do now it's

just like nice to see like even though I'm still feeling these things and having these thoughts like there's been a growth yeah well and I like what you say about going through it because that is a choice, right? You can choose to, like, do the work, journal, go to therapy, cry about it, whatever. Or you can choose to, like, distract yourself, just jump into another relationship. Like, it is an active choice to decide to deal with the feelings as they come up. And also to blame, like, to blame the ex or, you know, so many people can do that, whether you're, you know, you know, it's not about just being a woman. Men can do that, too. Like, it doesn't matter whose fault it is when something's over. It matters how you pick yourself back up. Like,

that's the most important thing is how you are going to restore your energy, your faith in yourself, and how you're going to provide for yourself. Like, it's not about other people coming in to save you. It's about you saving yourself. And I think that's something that we always forget, you know? Like, we always forget. You want to be like, well, he's an asshole. And even your friends will be like, he's, I can't believe he's strung you along like that. Or he's a he's garbage it's like it's not about him and it doesn't help to have that energy towards anyone anyway although i will say i think that that is sometimes a necessary phase of the getting to definitely you know like but it's not the end goal it's not the end goal and it's not the core

of what's happening right it's uh everyone's you know trying their best everyone's fucking trying their best I don't know the thing is like it's actually sad I'm kind of feeling and look maybe when I'm a male lion I will have a different perspective but I'm kind of feeling right now in my life like everyone is trying their best and even the really shittiest of the shitty like awful vile people of the world like it's actually sad to realize that because of whatever their circumstance that is that is her best like it's kind of heartbreaking to to realize that but it also is almost like a relief and it also is it makes it easier to kind of have empathy for myself that like even in my past when i've handled things now not the way i would handle it now or not the

way like even now i handle things like i sent a text last week and my therapist was like now what would you rate that text like what grade would you give that text i was like probably a b minus And she was like, hmm, interesting. But it's like, but, you know, in that moment, I was trying my best. Like, I literally could not have done better in that moment. And I'm trying to learn from how if that type of moment comes up next time, maybe my best would be better. I think in those moments, if you're in a B-minus mood. Don't send the text.

You don't send the text. You're like, I have to wait for my mood to get back to recalibrate. The thing is, a B-minus is a passing grade. Like, I was like, I feel like this is better to do and act upon than to avoid and ignore. But, you know, B minuses, it's not. The thing, this is what's cool, is that three years ago, if I was in this exact same position, I would have done something that was like an F. Right. So, you know.

Improvement. Yeah, I like to think that at all times I am doing the best I can in the moment. And if I'm doing that, then that's how we all are no matter what, our predisposition. Is that the right word? Yeah, and your personality. I'm going to read another poem that I want to share with our audience. Okay. I like this.

Chelsea, we read to each other a lot on this show. We talk about books a lot on this show, and you read a lot, it sounds like. I want to ask you, because you recently, I don't know how long ago this was, but posted like a very cute thirst trap with a Brandon Sanderson novel. Oh, yeah. That was my thirstiest track I've ever posted. I was like, is this porn? My friends were like, do it.

It was very cute. Thank you. So are you loving those books? Did you get thrilled? Because I'm sort of toying with reading them. It's like a stack of books that's as tall as a person. The Way of Kings? Yes.

I haven't gotten, to be honest with you, I haven't. I then got distracted and got into more A Court of Thorns and Roses books. Okay, sure, sure. But I have read probably like 10 Brandon Sands. Have you read any of Brandon Sands? I haven't read any because I'm like, if I read one, I'm probably going to have to read them all. That's the thing.

I would start with the Mistborn trilogy. Those are actually my three favorite books of all time. What kind of genre is this? It's fantasy. It's like pure fantasy, like world building. But it's also like the way that Brandon Sanderson writes, it's not like, it's not smut. It's very PG, sometimes PG-13. Okay.

But it's like very metaphorical. It's like deeply thought provoking and powerful. but also just like so fun and I love just getting lost in these things with magic. And there is romance but it's, again, it stops at like a kiss.

This reminds me of a Disney World post that you once posted when you went to Disney World. You're obsessed with Disney World, right? I am a Disney adult. You love it. I'm a Disney adult. Oh my gosh,

you have your theme. I remember seeing you post that and I was like, oh, because I am not. I am not. I'm going to take you to Disneyland. No, you don't. No?

I've been there. I've been there. You've been there, done that. But let me, okay. This is a really cute one, and every audience member or audience listener is going to relate to this. It's called Bestie. Hot pink, heart blue, I come home, I come for you. Plug you in twice a month, plug me up twice in a row.

Just me, can't sleep, hard week, you're always hard, aren't you? A little less empty inside. That is really, really cute. I just love it. Thank you. I'm talking about my best friend. Yes, yes, yes. I love that you said your team would not let you put a vibrator on the cover of this book.

Yeah, it was a real conversation. It was a real conversation. But, you know, my Lily Kravitz, who designed the book and has been my friend since, well, I say at the beginning of the book, she was the first person to ever see me dangle car keys off my erect nipple. Wow, erect nipple. My erect nipple. I like that. It was erect nipple.

My nipples are pretty impressive erect. They can handle a whole key chain. Amazing. Yeah. I was just thinking about my own nipples when you were saying that because my nipples can get really hard, and I've never used the word erect with my nipples, and I will start doing that now.

Yeah, it's like some nipples are deserving of the word erect. Mine would be. My nipples get really hard, and then they are serious. You have substantial nipples. But they don't stay that way for very long. It's just like a 70-year-old man, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

Sometimes one gets erect. Hopefully you don't know what I mean. Hopefully you haven't had sex with a 70-year-old man yet. I haven't had sex with a 70-year-old man. And neither have I. I just don't think so. But I have had sex with men who could be 70 or act like they're 70 or have the same erections as a 70-year-old. Exactly.

That is what I was going to say. I hear what you're saying. Yeah. Okay. Wait. Back to your book. I want to talk about how you – so you've been writing. You've been journaling your whole life.

Not really my whole life. When did you start? I really started committing to the journal after the big breakup almost five years ago because that was a huge turning point in my life because I was a kid. and then I met that person and was with him for almost eight years and then we broke up and I was like out in the world for the first time like as just human. And so that was a lot to process. And you're an only child.

And I'm an only child. So do you have a really – are you tight with your parents? I'm tight with my parents. Yeah. I love them. I really love them. Yeah. Yeah, they're good people and they've tried their – they've done their best, you know.

like they are they've been really loving supportive parents which is and you know they still love each other they've been together since they were 17 and 18 wow isn't that like amazing and also weird mind-blowing yeah yeah yeah but it's amazing yeah i like them so yeah i was a kid with my parents and then i was a young adult with a man and now i'm a hayley person Now you're Haley Lou Richardson. Yeah. Haley Lou Richardson. It, like, catapults you.

Like, a breakup can sometimes, like, catapult you into adulthood, especially if you were just a kid when you got into that relationship. And did you lean on your parents a lot during, like, or during any difficult time? Do you lean on your therapist the most? Like, who's your go-to person? I think I've had different people throughout my life. Like, in relationship, obviously, like, your partner that you rely on is your partner. And my mom's, like, the closest person in my life and honestly has really grounded advice. Like, my mom's not really in it for the drama with things I tell her about.

She's, like, really productive with her advice to me. It's nice. Obviously, my therapist, I shout out and love her. Saw her this morning. And, you know, friends, although sometimes that can, I think, lead to – if you rely on a friend too much, it can lead to, you know, codependent things and weird patterns that happen and then they just get sick and tired of you or vice versa and then it ruins the friendship in a way. Let's talk about the difference between codependence and interdependence for a second because I thought interdependence was codependence. And somebody schooled me the other day and said, no, interdependence is a healthy – Like when you couple up with someone, right, when you're in a relationship, it's almost impossible not to become codependent.

Even though codependent has a negative connotation, when you look the phrases up, they're mostly identical, interdependency and codependency. So do you have an idea of what the differentiation is? I kind of see it through my own lens because, I mean, my husband and I, we are a little bit codependent, but I think mostly interdependent because we have sort of opposite skill sets. And so – and it's sort of like when one of us isn't able to sort of pick up their end of the slack, the other one kind of goes double time and – It's okay. You can burp into the mic here. That's great. That's great.

So – but I think it's like mostly healthy. I think codependence is when it's like almost like needy and you can't do anything without this other person. And then that gets into like the other person sort of being a little controlling sometimes. Oh, I see. I see. Or when their problems become your problems and then you have to like basically – Like you sacrifice your own life for their life. That's codependency in the worst form.

Or like I can't make a decision without this person weighing in. Yes. And I've definitely felt that in relationships. Totally. Totally. There's a book called Codependent No More that I actually didn't finish reading. Maybe I should. You started.

You started. It's fine. But there is this – I'm reminded of that. I'm like maybe I should revisit that book. But there's this concept that actually my very first meeting with my therapist that I still talk to now, this was probably almost 10 years ago now, she listened to me talk for like 45 minutes and then she was like, I'm going to get something and show it to you. And I was like, okay. And she came back from her little drawer with this piece of paper that had a triangle on it. It's called the drama triangle.

I'm forgetting the dude that like invented it, the concept of it. Have you guys heard of the drama triangle? To speak more, it might resonate with me. There's like the dramatic codependent version of the triangle, which has three points. One of the points is the bully. one of the points is the victim and one of the points is the rescuer and when you get sucked like it's not like any of us right are like always or naturally like anxious attached it's like different situations and relationships that bring things out in us and so like it's kind of the same

idea with this triangle it's like there are certain people or situations dynamics that like draw you onto the triangle and then once you draw you're on the triangle you're just doing this dance this like musical chairs dance you know like around like playing these different roles which i think kind of ties into codependency and triangulation and triangulate because then there's a space for everyone right yeah and then i was like she was telling this to me and i was like mind blown because i was like oh my god i live like 90 of my life on this gosh darn triangle like how the fuck do i get off and she was like well let me show you another piece of paper And then she showed me this other piece of paper that had like the healthy triangle, which instead of the rescuer, there was the cheerleader.

Instead of the victim, you know, I'm not remembering all of it. We should look it up. But the cheerleader was very important for me because I think the way I got tied on to the triangle a lot of the time was wanting to rescue. Yeah. And I'm like, now, how can I, like, not take responsibility for you, but, like, encourage you as someone that loves you so much and wants the best for you to, like, make these decisions for yourself? There's the coach instead of the bully. Oh, there you go. Oh, yeah.

You've piqued my curiosity. I'm curious. I still have more work to do. I have to finish the codependent no more book. I have to finish Way of Kings. I have to remember the words on the hill. I have to finish Way of Kings. I'll put a link to – I'll find this online and put a link to it in the show notes so everybody can take a look.

The drama triangle. I know you're a big dancer. Like, you kind of came out here to dance, right? Yeah. And originally— To dance and act, yeah. But my first, like, year here was mainly dance work. Because I remember seeing your People magazine shoot, and I was like, I didn't know you were a dancer.

And that was just a really beautiful shoot. Thank you. Yeah, there was, like, video attached to it and everything. Yeah, you saw that? Yeah, I did. That's cool. It was really beautiful. Thank you.

And I had no idea. And then you were in a Jonas Brothers video dancing because you're a huge Jonas Brothers fan. Yes, I am. And I was. Because some of my friends are like, Haley, are you going to like finally let that go now? And I'm like, I wish I could. But no. Being such a rabid Jonas Brothers fan, how – because I know they asked you a question once like if you had to choose one of their albums to take away on a dessert on an island, which one would it be?

And I was like, they should have asked you which Jonas Brother it would have been. Oh, yeah. That's a better question. And so let's figure out who that is. If you had to go, I forget about their marriages, pretend they're not married, we're living in a different alternate reality. Oh, Saskete-o. Which Jonas brother would you want to be trapped on a deserted island with? I mean, I'm getting excited.

We're going to make this a reality, by the way. So, well, the thing is, obviously, you know, since I was like 11, I've been obsessed with Nicholas. So I think I like kind of have to say him. I've never heard anyone call him Nicholas. Nicholas Jerry Jonas. That's his name. there's just certain things you just don't forget and you don't like yeah I think we have the answer it's Nick how were you able to retain your composure when you were on the set of that I

didn't I didn't I had no self-control I was like fully just like my teeny bopper 11 year old me like came out and that's how I was behaving and I had I had no I had no control I was I was 11 like I really was like and honestly it was beautiful it was amazing I wouldn't have wanted it to be any other way I wouldn't have wanted to like been processing it as like 28 or however old I was at the time year old me like I was just fully seeing it through these like eyes of this little teeny bopper yeah yeah I'm sure they deal with that a lot so I was crying all the time my makeup artist Jenna like just kept having to like wipe the mascara under my eye because I was like just like smiling and my cheeks hurt and I was just like constantly just like tears would

come out yeah that was special I was once in a music video I don't know if I've ever spoken about this on this podcast this is funny story okay I did I was like 17 years old I was in New York City and I auditioned for this it was a band called Natural Selection and I was hired as like the pretty girl the lead singer had to like just sing to my face so he was standing across from me and i had never worked before never done any gigs and as soon as he started look like singing towards me i my lips just like just were quivering and it was so like embarrassing like because i could feel it and i knew what were you feeling just nerves so nervous and like uncomfortable and yeah like i wouldn't be able to do that if it were someone i knew singing to me like that i

don't think yeah i mean maybe now i could but not smiling like that's fucking weird yeah and but at the time. I just had no experience. It was almost like, you know, spasming, like my face was spasming and I knew everyone could see me, but I was 17 years old. I had no resources to be like, I need a minute. I was just like, fuck, I'm going to fall and burn right now. And then they finally removed me and they're like, we'll just have you as a background extra, you know, and they replaced me. And it was, you know, one of my very first humiliations. And I was like, oh God, if I had known about beta blockers, you know, that would have been a much different story. You were not meant to be a video hoe, unfortunately.

You know, I was a video hoe a couple times. Were you? Yeah, I was. At like 16 and 17. Because you're a dancer. Yeah, for dance. There was like this... Actually, there was supposed to be a... These boys had a band. They were brothers. They were called Sonus. They were these Argentinian boys. Sounds a lot

like another band of brothers. Well, they honestly were very inspired by and hoping to be the Jonas Brothers, which was a big draw for me. That's my type. Which one's Niccolo's? But they did this music video on the Venice boardwalk, and I was like – each brother had like a love interest, and I was I think the oldest brother's love interest.

And there was some singing to my face, not like that close. I don't think I would have been able to handle that, but there was like a lot of serenading, and then I would randomly like do a leap in the middle of the boardwalk. And yeah, it was a video ho. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I feel like music videos, well, I guess they still do that, but I just like, it feels like it's a dated thing to be singing into someone's face. You know what I mean? I mean, I'm sure that still happens. When I was reading your book of poetry,

I was thinking that you remind me a lot of Taylor Swift, like in terms of writing all these things down, like a lyricist, a poet, you know, and then I found out you wanted to be a singer, right? Or you want to be a singer there's like a bit a delusional dream I've had probably my whole life that I would be an amazing pop star because I'm like oh and I you know can dance and I would look good in like metallic body suits and um and I have a lot of feelings but I really just can't sing like I don't have that skill set and I've tried my parents have spent a lot of money throughout the course of my childhood on voice lessons. And it didn't work?

They never worked. You have a few other talents. That's okay. I have a couple others that I'm focusing on now. But, yeah, I mean, I love Taylor Swift. Are you Swifty? I guess I am now. I mean, it's kind of hard not to be.

It's hard not to be. I'm Swifty, I think, now, too. My level of interest and the understanding of the impact that she's had, not only on the music industry and for women coming after her yeah on all women and all these little girls like this is the happiest news we've gotten in six months is that first of all she was on the podcast that was like happiness and then you find out about the engagement it's like she's almost singularly responsible for our joy right now because like think of how much we've been rooting for her like because we relate through her heartbreak and these things that she like

honestly very generously shares with yeah us like so that we can feel like not alone which is a big inspiration for me wanting to like give these you know poems to the to the world because it's like I know what that can do for me when I listen to music like Taylor and so we're like rooting for her to like be happy and like have someone choose her and this fucking hottie chose her and in the exact way the only way to go after someone like that

which is what he did like he shot his shot and it fucking worked out I bet you no one else did that does that I know no one else tried to do that

except for him you know what I mean and he seems obviously don't know these people but he seems like a pretty secure dude yeah

and she deserves that and needs that yeah so that's I mean I'm really happy for her yeah it is happy making

it's happy making and when you I was watching this Instagram video about this little girl and she was asking her mom if they were going to Taylor Swift's wedding. She was like, Mommy, are we going to the wedding? And she's like, No, honey, we're probably not going to the wedding. We're probably not invited.

And then she's like, But why wouldn't we go? We love Taylor. It's like the heiress to her at the wedding. And the mom was like, No. Honey, we love Taylor because we've seen, we've listened to her music and her pictures, but she doesn't know who we are. And then the little girl goes, Huh. Anyway, can you put on Hot To Go?

I was like, What a cute video. That is cute. I want to see that. Wow. Yeah. I mean, she is very poetic. And I honestly, like I've always listened to Taylor Swift throughout my life when I was like 13 or something was probably, it was like pivotal, that song for me. And so, but I never really considered myself a Swifty or really like gave into my like full like love and respect for Taylor Swift as like an artist and like amazing force person in the world. But I went to the Arras tour in Atlanta because I wanted to see Biba Doobie, who's this sweet girl I know who was opening for

her. And I love her music and she got me a ticket. And so I was like, sure, I'll fly to Atlanta and watch Biba Doobie and then stay for the Taylor Swift concert. And I stayed for the freaking Arras tour. And I was just like, I knew maybe a third of the songs, but I was like, because I kind of missed like the folklore other albums eras but i was like um i was like it's impossible to be at that concert and watch her presence and her impact and like not be so blown away yeah yeah and inspired and impressed and then i ended up going to the eras tour in la and at that point i like knew every single song and was a swifty so and the other thing i do love not that this is a podcast about taylor swift i don't think you've ever talked about taylor swift on this

podcast maybe it should be but because your poetry does remind me of her writing like it is kind of you know her writing is poetry yeah but the other thing is how beautiful the family dynamic it was how her parents have crafted like and it sounds like you come from a similar structured loving normal family that are like solid because it could go one of two ways and we've seen the disasters with all of these you know young people who become famous and when their parents aren't on solid ground and they aren't grounded, it's a disaster. And then look at like the beauty and like you're such a like ray of light. Look at what your parents did for you. I'm a ray of light. I'm a breath of fresh air. You're a ray of light. I'm a woman. Yeah, you're a woman. Soon to be a male

lion. So like, I mean, it's just nice to see the impact of good parenting. I chose not to become a parent because I don't have time for that shit, you know? And I feel like that's a very responsible decision to make. Honestly, good for you. If you're not going to be an A plus parent, then you shouldn't become a parent. Yeah, if you're not going to send the A plus text, then don't send the B minus text. Yeah, I got to learn these

things now so I don't become a B plus or B minus parent. Or a B minus person. Yeah, you're not a B minus person. Thank you. B plus or A? Well, we definitely, yeah, you're in the A zone. Thank you. Yeah, my parents, shout out to them.

Yeah, no, no, I can tell that you have good parents. I can already tell that they they have like always believed in me and always loved me and I think that that is unfortunately rare it's something that now like 30 and looking back and now having this like adult relationship with my parents I'm like you guys were really great like you guys really like supported me and made this life that I live possible and they're great they're also like a fun hang do you really think that's rare to be loved and believed in I do think being like deeply believed in like the sacrifice my parents made to like let me leave high school at 16 and move to LA and like give up whatever money they were saving for a college experience

for me and like be away from each other for a year and a half while my mom lived with me in LA and my dad was back in Arizona like put their lives on hold to like make that like that is something that I like people that I know their parents didn't do that for them and wouldn't and there's people that I even know that they wanted to like do something unconventional or more like not even unconventional but just like arts or something not good and their parents like encouraged them not to because of x y and z and it's like my parents didn't just encourage me they sacrificed not to they they sacrificed and like made it possible for me which i do think is rare right yeah it's really cool on that note we're going to take a break and we'll be right

back with hayley lee richardson the jonas brothers are running it back we live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brothers hits that have defined a generation. One incredible celebration. One unforgettable night. See the Jonas Brothers live at RBC Amphitheater, September 28th. Get tickets now at Ticketmaster.ca. Jonas Brothers, the burning up tour all over again. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.

I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network.

Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman. Not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this?

how about we flip it on its head how about we flip the script what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting

Adam Sandler to come to visit the show I would never expect I would never set expectations for something like that to happen if the universe allows for something like that to happen i am open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile

masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like they're like oh what's this Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake. Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us.

Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip,

I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and we're back with hayley lou richardson and her new book of poetry which is called sad and horny oh sorry which is you know what that was a question in my publisher was like are you sure you don't want to call it sad and horny and i really thought about it because actually originally i wanted to call the book i'm sad and horny by this book because like i just wanted the desperation the like aware desperation to be like a part of the title and they really I had multiple people encourage me to get rid of the buy this book and I agreed with that right but my publisher

was like are you sure you want the I'm because sad and horny is just so like a thing and I'm like you know I thought about it and I was like I really want the I'm because it's so personal and you own it and I own it and then it's like also the question of like oh what are you reading I'm sad and horny. I liked that conversation happening. So yeah. Great. Great. We're going to take some callers and we're going to give some advice. There's callers? There's callers. There's real life people. Oh my gosh, that's so cool.

Yeah. And then I'm glad you're all therapized because that's going to help you give out some advice. Okay, cool. Yes. So our first caller is Bree. She's 37. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 37-year-old woman and I found myself in a precarious situation. For my entire adult life, I prided myself on my ability to remain faithful in any and all of my relationships. I had never cheated and had a very negative perspective toward the idea of cheating. I was in a faithful and monogamous, although toxic, relationship from 25 to 33, and after ending that, I spent four months being

single and dating my now ex, Adam. After almost two and a half years together, I started to realize that Adam and I were not compatible. However, I didn't initially act on it. About four months ago, I started to pay more attention to one of my male coworkers, Bryce. Even though we've worked together for years, something changed, and I found myself thinking about him outside of work. After finding a work-related reason to initiate a text to him, we began texting regularly. Within a few weeks, we were talking all day at work, taking private walks on our breaks, and texting all night. Needless to say, my partner had no idea. This quickly led to us confessing our feelings for one another, kissing when we had the chance, holding hands on walks, and pretty soon admitting

that we were falling for one another. I decided at this point that I needed to end things with Adam and chose not to move forward physically with Bryce until I did so. However, that did not stop us from making verbal plans to be together once I ended things with Adam. Here's where things change. Fast forward to about eight weeks ago, I broke things off with Adam and moved out into my own place. Following this, things between Bryce and I began to slow down and I noticed a growing distance between us, which I assumed was because both of us kind of had a realization that things were moving along quite quickly. Day by day, our communication dwindled until last week when we decided to take a step back with things until we both have our shit figured out and we know what

we want. I'm the one who suggested this because I sensed him pulling away, almost as if I was trying to beat him to the punch. My dilemma, I feel heartbroken. I know that ultimately I'm likely still grieving the relationship with Adam as well, but I cannot get Bryce off my mind. I recognize that my abandonment issues and attachment style tie into this, but my question is, how can I find a way to move forward with Bryce given that we work together? When I say we're coworkers, we do not just work for the same company. We sit next to each other a few feet away multiple days a week. Although I'm grateful that I still get to see him, I know that working with him is going to make this very difficult. We're both fairly mature and are serious about our

careers, so I know that we'll both do our best to try and maintain an amicable dynamic at work, especially given that we ended things mutually. However, I'm having a hard time seeing his face on a daily basis. Yeah. I've never been in a situation like this, both in terms of infidelity and the relationship with a coworker. Any advice to help me navigate this challenge? Brie. Brie. Hi, Brie. Oh my gosh. You're a real person. Brie, we're here. You're real. Oh my God. This is Haley Lou Richardson, our special guest today. Hi, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, Brie. Thanks for sharing that. Somebody once told me when you're in a relationship that's kind of stale. There's a person who gets you out of that relationship. And you can sometimes confuse that

with like, oh, I'm in love. Like sometimes you just need to get out of the position A and move into position B. And sometimes that only will happen if somebody else comes around and like lures you away. So this is a huge opportunity for you for growth, for learning, for getting to know yourself. You have to embrace your womanhood, which we've been discussing. You have to embrace your womanhood right now you can tangle anything you're a woman we can fucking do anything you're fierce you're powerful and you're resilient that's what you have to sell yourself every single morning when you wake up or before you walk into the office and think you're gonna melt when you see him you're stronger than him okay just remember women are stronger than men and that's not sexist

it's true so i like that so so like you have the total you're in the driving driver's seat you ended things you know and the driver's seat isn't important but you just have to know as a woman you are so powerful. If you want this to happen with this guy at work, it can happen. But respect the fact that you just got out of something and going straight into something isn't really going to be the most valuable lesson in your life. The more valuable lesson. And if you want to like, I always say, I like to bake the first time, the last time. Like I don't want to learn the same lessons twice and I don't want to go to summer school. I want to go to Mallorca. You know what I mean? So when there's an opportunity to be mature or easy and like give in to your lustfulness or your desires.

It's not forever. It's not like you have to do this for months and months or whatever, but just choose your higher self and be like, okay, I just got out of a long-term relationship. The most sensible thing to do is like, what would you tell your daughter to do in this situation? If you had a daughter, what would you say to her? You would say, take some time, regroup. You can have this little flirtation. You had a flirtation with this guy. It's going to redevelop. You just keep your distance and be in the driver's seat because that's what you are. You are in the driver's seat and you can completely control yourself. I know you can. I like that. You know what? That's actually great advice. You are kind of making the point that I feel like maybe I'm

almost giving him the power and I need to kind of take that back. Yeah, exactly. That's really really, that's really good advice. And also to your first point, sometimes we just need that one person to get us out of the initial, you know, uh, slow moving, stale. I like that. I'm going to hold on to that. That's actually really great advice. It was a guy that was having an affair and he said, I was with two guys who had both left their wives for other women and they had been married to their new wives for ever, but they said they both had the, the woman they had an affair with, got them out of their marriages and then they ended up with different women. And there was like, and they had a term for it.

And I was like, oh, I'm like, well, I'm going to take that for women. Haley, do you agree? What do you think? Yeah, I agree with, I mean, I want you to be my therapist. But you also just like, you say really like emotionally deep, true things, but you say it like it fucking is. And that's so cool to like, it must feel so nice to like be getting that advice in that way.

Yeah, I completely agree. And I also just like actually really commend you because I think you seem like a, like a very aware thoughtful person like the way you go through life even like your awareness of the ways that you were unfaithful in the end of the relationship like I'm impressed by the fact that whatever it was that this guy Bryce was showing in that attraction was showing you that was making it clear to you you had to get out of the relationship with Adam you know there were times where the powerful woman that was making the decisions and in control of your actions maybe you went to the uh you know passenger seat or in the back seat and something else was taking over

but like you never let you get like stuffed in the trunk and just like fully act out of passion need instinct lust out of control and like i find that really impressive honorable so i mean whatever if if there's a part of you i don't know if there's a part of you that like feels guilty or like a shame like see that as like whatever healthy shame so you don't don't do that again and hurt yourself and someone else in a way that you wouldn't want to again if you were in a similar situation but also just like really like think it's pretty cool the awareness you had through through all of that right to not like go full throttle with an affair sort of thing yeah yeah agreed so good for you on both fronts yeah so just gear up and go back to

work like the badass woman that you are and handle it thank you so much I feel like I just needed a little bit of a push I actually really appreciate this is not something that obviously I can talk to about yeah with most people right I know you know what I mean I can't I'm not calling up my mom or another co-worker or friend so I appreciate it I just kind of needed another woman's perspective and that all makes a lot of sense and also thank you for touching on the guilt and the shame because of course that's you know kind of floating around in the back of my head or in my heart I should say So I appreciate that. Thank you.

Awesome. Awesome. Well, thanks for calling in. Thank you, ladies. I appreciate your time today. Absolutely. Bye, Bree. Bye.

Thanks. Bye. You've got this. Oh. I feel the same way. I'm like, you got it. You got it. That was like a perfect caller.

Yeah. Wow. Perfect. Because people call in with these kinds of serious things. I mean, that is serious, but she wasn't broken. You know what I mean? Some people do call in and they're broken. And then it's like you can't talk to them like that.

Yeah, she had, like, a real, like, awareness. It was really – even, like, through that hard time because, like, the end of her – like, it's hard to be at the end of a relationship and something not working, especially if you can't admit it to yourself, then you can't admit it to the other person. And then something out of control happens that's, like, hurtful. And I feel like she actually had a lot of, like – Self-awareness. Self-awareness. There's also this idea that like when there's an attraction, like we can't help ourselves and it's just so silly. It's like we can all help ourselves.

You don't have to fuck your fucking coworker while you're still in a relationship. That's such a man thing to do. You know, like you have to have accountability, like leaving the relationship. Well, I just had this like hearing you say you can't help. I can't help myself is like I just had another meaning of that of like, but you can help yourself. Like, whatever you are searching for in that connection or trying to get from that external thing, like, it's like, I can't help myself. But actually, you can always help yourself. Right.

Whoa. Yeah. That gave it a double. That's now I got a double meaning, too. Wow. Okay, great. Well, our next question comes from Lauren, and she says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 33-year-old therapist in St. Louis. I love my job and the life I've built here, but the dating scene is so challenging.

I ended a long-term relationship three years ago and have been trying everything to meet new people. Dating apps, singles events, networking parties, you name it, I've done it. I'm also in maybe the only career that I can't meet people at work, confidentiality and all. She's a therapist. I realize I already said that, but yeah, she's a therapist. I made the decision to move to a new city to experience dating somewhere else. I love advice on how to make connections and meet singles in a city I don't know anyone in. You're such an inspiration.

Thanks for all you do, Lauren. Well, that's easier than, hi. Hi, Lauren. Hi. Hi, this is Haley Lou Richardson, our special guest today. Hi. Hi, so good to see you guys. Nice to meet you.

Hi, Lauren. First of all, great for taking the situation and doing something about it and moving to a different city. That's great proactive behavior. And as a therapist, you probably already know that. But I think you just have to put yourself out there in every way possible. You have to join all sorts of clubs

you don't give a shit about. just like you start you join a runners club join a biker what city are you in by the way I'm in St. Louis but I'm moving to

Madison, Wisconsin okay great cheese you can I mean you can join like kayaking you know on Saturday mornings

you can do a paddleboard class you can do all sorts of shit but think about things in that that are going to yield more of like an intersexual

kind of community you don't want to obviously take ballet class lessons you know like that's not going to you're not going to meet men But think of things, and I'm just saying things off the top of my head, but really sit down and make a list of, like, activities that you'd be down to do.

Tennis. If you want to take, like, tennis lessons, join a tennis club. You don't have to join a country club. You can join a tennis club. And you can join a biking club. You can join a runner's club. All of those are going to yield both sexes. So you're going to meet friends, and you're going to—and if you're in a new city, you're going to need some new friends anyway.

You're going to meet people that way. And don't give up on the dating sites. Like I understand that they sometimes feel like, oh God, you know, like it's overwhelming or it's so depressing because you go on these dates and you're like, this is all that's out there. You, it's, it's trial and error, like everything else in life. And like, if you really have a desire to meet somebody, then it's up to you to make that happen.

And you're going to like, you know, push yourself a little bit further. Even if you're like, oh, like I don't want to do my fucking Spanish homework. I don't, I'm not in the mood, but I know I'm going to do it because I want to get better at learning Spanish. You're going to go on that date. maybe you don't feel like up for it, but that's one step closer to finding the person that you want. And if a partner is that important to you, then you have to make that like a top line priority. Like treat it like a job. Yeah. Treat it like a job. And also I think people forget the

value of like asking the cute guy in line at the coffee shop for his number, you know, like just be ballsy and make some light conversation and they're like, can I get your number? Yes. That's a great point, Catherine, because everyone would think that I do whatever I want when I want. And I have all this confidence, right? I have missed so many opportunities by not addressing a man that I've seen at a party or at a, in a store or something like where I've wanted to be like, Oh, that guy's hot. I, you know, or like, I'm trying to catch his eye and just stupid. Like I should have just walked up to the table and been like, Hey, I think you're pretty cute. Here's my number. That's what the advice I would give to anyone. Yet there are many times where I have

not done that. And all I do when any, that's the only thing I think I regret in my life is not actually being as bold as people think I am with regard to like meeting guys or hooking up. What do you have to lose? Who gives a shit? You don't even know the person. So if, if they're not into you, who cares? You know what I mean? Like you kind of have to grab life by the balls, especially now. It's like, if that's such an important thing to you, you really have to just do everything to make it happen. So that would be my advice. I mean, Haley's single too right now. I was going say, I'm kind of in your boat. I'm kind of in your boat. But I do actually feel like I act on the boldness, I guess, or just like the saying, like, my thing is I just am like,

hey, I just wanted to tell you you're really handsome. And, you know, sometimes it elicits like a nice response. And there's like, maybe just like a little night, like, maybe they don't ask for my number or nothing ever happens. But it's just like, oh, I had a little connection. And they told me I was cute too and that's like kind of a nice little that's actually a perfect way to do it because that's so and like that's that's such a sweet way to do it because it's so charming like it's not like hey I want to fuck you here's my phone number which is what I would do but I mean I haven't exercised that right nearly as much as I work better but I think you're really handsome who's not gonna love that you know what I mean yeah no one no one that I've done that to

hasn't loved it like the worst that i get is like oh thanks right they go on with their life and i'm like yeah okay yeah yeah exactly but um yeah i'm i'm really in your boat so i don't like i feel like i was listening to her advice uh and maybe the same way you were but just i guess if there's anything know that you're not alone there are a lot of us out on the apps getting sick and tired of the apps deleting the apps thinking they're in love with a waiter because he looked at her in a certain way like sliding into someone's dms that's on love island like and never getting a response like i mean like i've done i've done wild things and none of it's been really successful yet and i'm just like trying to hold on to hope and not become bitter um so i'm right there with you

lauren have you tried sliding into some dms of love island contestants i not with love island but definitely other shows for sure amazing have you gotten responses because I literally haven't. And I'm like, wait, what? I have a blue checkmark. Yeah, yeah. You're like, what's this fame thing for if I can't get what I want?

I definitely need to try to be more bold. I feel like I fall into the friendship aspect. Like I need to, you know, up my flirting and just like be confident with it and fake it till I make it. Yeah, and be active on those dating sites. Like just get on all of them and be active and be forward about what you're looking for.

Like I'm looking for a relationship. I just always think the more you do of something, the quicker you're going to get to where you're going. There's going to be a lot of rejects or people that you're not interested in. But in doing that, you're kind of getting all that stuff out of the way and getting closer to the person that you will be into and that you will want to have a relationship with. It's a total numbers game.

And you have, listen, you have everything on your side. You're in a brand new city. The options are endless, you know? And you're a cutie. And people are getting divorced every single day. So there's something else to think about. I know. I do think about that.

Yeah, maybe you'll get someone on their second time around, you know? That's kind of the best time to get down. The world is our oyster. The world is our oyster. All right, Lauren and Haley, we'll need you both to follow up when you put this into practice. Yeah, we'll see. I'll let you know if any of the Love Island contestants ever get back. And I'll see you.

I'm coming on tour next year to Madison, so I'll see you there, hopefully. Oh, amazing. Yes, I will definitely see you there. Thank you. Okay, have a great day. Bye, Lauren. Bye. You know what my sister-in-law did, which obviously worked out for her because she's

my sister-in-law now? She came home from like visiting family in Ireland who were like teasing her because she was 30 and not married, which is silly, but she felt some kind of way about it. So she just decided to like make it her job to go on all these dates. She went on like one or two dates every single day. And here was her trick. She goes, I had, in order to not repeat outfits with the same guy, she goes, I had a first date outfit that I'd wear on all my first dates, a second date outfit, a third date

outfit and most of them didn't get past day three. Eventually she found my brother-in-law and they were like, how are you still single? And you know, fell in love and got married. But she goes by the end of that, my first date outfit was like raggedy because I'd worn it so many times, but it was just like, she just needed a numbers game. Yes. Yes. Wow. Armpit stains. Wow. Okay. I mean, honestly, that is hopeful to me because there's so many, like, especially like my parents and people of their generation don't get that. Like don't get the dating apps, the putting yourself out there. So they're like, well, don't you just want to just live your life and let the person find you? And I'm like, that's what I've been doing for 30 years. Ideally, yes. But we live in the technology

age. So it's just like a numbers game. And like, that's how so many people are operating. They don't want to waste a night going out to a bar or going out to a restaurant or whatever, because they're like, oh, I'm going to save that for my date night. You know what I mean? Some people or like orchestrate their entire or organize their lives around that. So it's like kind of like that's the age we're living in. So there's nothing wrong with it. We're going to take a break and we're going to be right back to wrap up with Haley Lou. Behind every night spent making the kids lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full or come home at all? And

Will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.

I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve

the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your

podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to

a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip. I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, aka the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no gets mad at their publicists for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this yeah how about

we flip it on his head okay how about we flip the script okay what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time, you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never expect... Let go of that. I have... I would never set expectations for something like that to happen.

If the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm open to it. I'm always going to accept. You know, Danny McBride, fine. Yeah. It's all this fragile masculinity exuding. I could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you.

I was like, is that weed? nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Haley Lee Richardson, who's going to, I guess, you know, turn on all your apps when you leave here. And just, I mean, I'm actually enjoying, I'm actually enjoying yourself. I'm enjoying myself. I know.

I'm like, and also, And so is your vibrator. So I'm enjoying myself. I'm enjoying, I have multiple besties these days, different shapes for different moods um love them all equally so i have a pretty good crew we're in a polyamorous relationship i love different shapes for different moods i would love to see a chart on that at some point yeah the book is called her book of poetry which is great and really funny and sad at times but poignant it's called i'm sad and horny and so

please get yourself a copy and well I mean you're just absolutely delightful thank you so are you both yes thank you for coming you really brightened up my day today I was having a shit show this morning yes yes yes I would not have felt that at all great but I'm sorry but thank you I mean you really came in like a ray of sunshine okay I meant that thank you I feel the same way this was fun now I want a podcast this was so fun the word of the week is avaricious Zoran Mamdani won the New York City mayoral race because people are tired of landlords who have become too avaricious. Avaricious.

I just announced all my tour dates. They just went on sale this week. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be starting in February of next year. So I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want good seats and you want to come see me perform, I will be on the high and mighty tour.

Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert. executive producer katherine law and be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and

nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff.

They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes

without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us.

Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.