Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Big Italian Sausage with Bianca Del Rio

Episode Date: March 16, 2023

Bianca Del Rio joins Chelsea to talk about having a man in every port, not letting your career take over your life, and the business of pronouns. Then: A Bostonian cringes at his friend’s bad behavior. A self-deprecator wonders why all his friends seem to tease him too much.  And an up-and-coming comic fears he’ll run into his ex… who’s in the same line of work. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the Internet and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. hey this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements we host the podcast Hollywood Handbook each week we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to

offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman Adam Scott Danny McBride Ben Stiller and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Katherine. Hi, Chelsea. Hello, listeners.

How are you today? How is everybody today? I hope just wonderful. Yes, I do too. You know who's thriving at home? Who? Bernice. Is she just really giving you all the love?

It's interesting. Every time one of my dogs dies, the other dog is fucking happy. Now she gets all the attention. And I realize how marginalized she must have felt. I mean, she was always the one who wanted to be spoiled the most, right? I think so, yeah.

Because she looks now, like now she's flirty. Like she comes in like, hey, are you up? Let's hang. And it's really cute. And she doesn't seem to be bothered by the fact that Bert isn't there at all. And that happened also when my older dog Tammy died and Chunk was left.

He got a pep in his step as soon as she was out of the way. Interesting dynamics. That is an interesting dynamic. Like maybe they were just waiting for the other one to die. Well, they clearly don't have the affinity for the other dogs as the way that we want to believe that they do. You want to believe your children love each other, but the reality is they don't. So we had a dog who was a great Pyrenees. And there are these huge dogs.

They're all white. And this dog sort of had the personality of a cat, very like, I'll come to you sort of energy. And when our older dog died, she, who she had basically been raised by, she turned orange. And she got super depressed. she did also get more like snuggly wanted to be with you wanted to hang out she definitely became more of a people person what about your two dogs now they're in love right well that's actually an interesting conversation because apparently we didn't know that you're not technically supposed to get sibling puppies and so there was a bit of an adjustment period where

they were like fighting all the time oh and annoying i know honestly like i was so upset about it because they were fighting like in this way these tiny puppies and just like fighting this way that was like really aggressive nobody's drawn blood but I was like I don't know what we're gonna do Brad we might have to rehome Lottie because she's like going after Wendell and then I found this perfect solution which was basically training them out of it by using a squirt bottle and I did not think it would work and it fully works it just snaps them out of an argument and then we do a little training calm is their new command after they like break up a fight and they have to come and sit calmly.

So now they're starting to like, when I say calm, they're just coming over and like breaking it up. So I'm so relieved, honestly. And it's getting a lot better. Yeah, that's really something that I would not be equipped to deal with. No, oh my gosh. I had no thought in my mind that it could be a bad thing.

And so careful out there. If you're trying to get a puppy, don't get to. You know what, I just, okay. Well, if you don't want a puppy, you can buy a hyperbaric chamber. I just got one of those installed into my house because I came back from skiing and my knees are just so messed up yes so i got one and then i was like okay and i'm gonna get

one of my lasers done i'm gonna get a co2 laser on my face and neck and so i'm excited about this because they're not as strong the ones you get for your house as the ones where you go to like a clinic and get it done but you could sleep in it if you want really yeah would you do that well no i doubt it but i can go in there and read for two hours a day yeah sure right right so that's It's easy. Like, I can, last night I did one hour. Tonight I'm going to do two. You have to be cumulative about it.

Yeah, you can't just, like, start with four hours sort of thing. Well, no. I mean, like, you have to be consistent and do it. Like, if you do it once in a while, it doesn't work, I don't think. Does it de-puff? Like, what's the benefit? It's like you're getting 150. I'm at one atmospheric pressure, which, you know, me and my space degree.

Who the fuck knows what that means? But you're at, like, 150% oxygen, whereas we're at 50% right now. Like, we're getting 50% of oxygen. I don't know what else we're getting. Nitrogen, maybe? I don't know some other things. I don't know. Carbon dioxide?

I'm not sure what's happening. Carbon monoxide, probably a little bit of that, too. So, yeah, it's supposed to be really good for injuries, inflammation, reducing swelling, you know, all that stuff. So, the house that we bought has a pool, and we have not yet put a heater in it. I'm like, should I just become one of those people who does cold plunges? I don't know. I don't know if I'm brave enough for that, but I'm tempted.

Have you ever done one? I have. I just got one of those things, too, a cold plunge pool. Yeah? I haven't used it yet, though. I'm saving that for the new house when it's ready. Yeah. I don't think I need both of those things.

I think I like cold, actually, but I don't like it that cold. That's a little. But that's got to be really good for you. And that's only three minutes. Like a hyperbaric chamber, you have to be in for an hour, you know, two hours a day. Like that's a little more time consuming, but a good excuse to read and not be on my phone. Take some you time in the hyperbaric chamber. Chelsea, I'm so excited for our guest today.

It's Bianca. Do you want to tell us a little bit about her? Okay. Bianca Del Rio. Is the host of The Pit Stop, which is the official review show of RuPaul's Drag Race. And her alter ego is Roy Halock, and that's who's here today. Hello, Roy. Hello.

Hi, sweet cheeks. How are you? We're happy to see you. Since drag is such a hot topic these last few months, drag shows are being banned. Was it the state of Mississippi or Tennessee? Tennessee, for sure. Tennessee, okay, which is very confusing because what's Nashville going to do? well also like what's Dolly Parton gonna do I mean let's be real here drag it's a serious thing

Tennessee's all fucked up that they're not as bad as Florida though but it is pretty insane that this is happening uh have they been banned in Florida too drag shows no not yet but it's on their way you know DeSantis is losing his mind over there so he's just been creeping out on other topics basically about the trans youth and dealing with trans people in general because apparently the orders that they're making are just kind of vague it's like blanket situations where it's leading things to where they could kind of decide what they think is right or wrong in the moment yeah yeah which is kind of fucked yeah he's taking a lot of latitude because he's going after everything that's going to make him like a political hero right like taking the power away

from Disney World which doesn't sound actually that bad when you read about it because you're like wait why is Disney World have their own municipality like what is that but whatever forget about that when we're talking about critical race theory when we're talking about LGBTQ and in books. And then now they're, you know, I was funny. I posted something the other day about banning books in Florida and how, you know, Floridians really need to get their shit together, blah, blah, blah. And I got all these responses from people who saying, well, I mean, there's pornographic material in these books. And I'm like, no, no, no, that's not what we're talking about solely. We're not talking about porn. We're talking about exposure to LGBTQ people.

And we're talking about critical race theory. Like porn is the least of it. And I mean, there's a lot of porn in the Bible. Let's be real. These people that clench up to the Bible. I'm so done with the religious aspect of it or the people that say my moral compass is about this and I live by the Bible. You know what? Go clean the Catholic Church. Go fix that, motherfuckers, because this is your people.

This is your deal. You know, there's gays in the church walking around with a purse that's on fire up and down the aisle, wearing robes, telling stories. It's no different than children's story hour. But why don't you fix that? Raping children? I mean, hello. Truly. Like, why don't you give me one priest and one person who dresses in drag and see what their record is of assaulting little children?

Yeah, I agree. I completely agree. It's just absolutely insane. It's also this thing now where I think that they have to find a way to, as you said, to become the hero. So they're just picking on any group they could possibly do this with. And it's just insane that this is the topic now. It's like, look, I'm a person who does drag, obviously. And I don't believe in children coming to my show.

My show is always 18, 21 up. That's my thing. So I'm not one of the children's story hour people, but I never. Neither am I. Yeah, agreed. But it's that thing where I'm like, you know, this is not my thing. But I do understand that if a parent feels that, hey, this is what I want to do, bring my child or expose them to that, they should have the right to do it. You know, it shouldn't be up to, quote unquote, legislation or some guy with small dick energy.

It all just is so counterintuitive to the Republican Party's platform, you know, not to get too political here. But, like, you know, Republicans are historically known for getting decisions out of government. They hate big government. They hate it. Except when it's talking about taking people's rights away. Then they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we want a hand in this. So it's just so hypocritical, all of it. I mean, obviously, the Republican Party has lost their way a long time ago.

So we can't be expecting too much from them, especially with people like Ron DeSantis. It was funny. I listened to this thing on Ron DeSantis yesterday, like the genesis of Ron DeSantis. And I forgot. Remember, you guys, when that commercial came out before Trump was elected, because everyone had to like cozy up to Trump because he was looking like the possible candidate. But it was like in 2018, I think, when DeSantis ran for Congress originally and he had to put an ad together. And his wife was like, he plays with our kids. And what they were playing was building a wall. And then he's like, look, my kids know how to, and I remember spoofing that

when I was doing a TV show at the time because we were like, who's this idiot? And I was like, oh, fuck, that was Ron DeSantis? We're in for it because this guy is still around and that was only like, what, five years ago? Isn't it crazy? Yes, that was him. Yep, now he's just bootlicking,

but now he's on his own little platform here. And that's the scary part about it is just to think that, I mean, Florida's its own little world at this point, you know? And you sit back thinking, how is this fucking happening? How is this happening in real time? How is this? How is this our world? I don't get it. Yeah. Anyway, let's move on back to you instead of me just going off about everything.

You know what I mean? I've decided 2023 is the year of conflict and confrontation. That makes total fucking sense. And listen, also, I just wanted to say happy belated birthday. I see you just had a birthday and you were out on the slopes. I was pissing myself. How did you survive that? You know what? I got to tell you, it's pretty enjoyable. like is it it's it's exhilarating like you're not cold because you have so much adrenaline like first of all we're trying to be discreet because we're trying not to have too many people see me because they'll they'll film me and then it's blown or we're trying to hide from ski patrol but this year ski patrol saw us and then came back and picked us up and dragged us out of there

because we're like we need another half hour and they're like all right well this is going to close and we would have to really like walk out and so the guy came back and tugged us out which was really cute so that was great so now they've given up and that's how i feel about pushing against authority if you push hard enough eventually the doors just open and the flooding starts and then they're just like fuck it it's happening yeah and it's gonna happen it's just sheer exhaustion they just don't want to bother anymore they're like ah fuck it let's just roll with it yeah like the first year i made a ski video the ski patrol found me or they were looking for me actively but they didn't know i had already shot it two days earlier they thought i was doing

it in real time i'm like no that was two days ago yeah and then the next year i got a warning from the mountain that i'm not allowed to i'm not allowed to drink and smoke pot on the mountain and then the next year i skied off the mountain we did backcountry because i don't want to deal with those fucking people and then this year they're just like you know what they're they don't they have no they have no fight left in them do your thing do your thing so that's how we always have to push up everyone who's listening you have to keep going you have to break the door down you know especially when it's in the name of just joyousness and celebration and fun and you're not hurting anybody right so and art and art and art don't forget art yes oh yeah please

don't forget what an artist I am so let's talk about I think actually a good lesson sorry to make you a teacher for a little bit so it's all good let's talk about she and her and pronouns and I think it's always good to kind of refresh people who are confused still about what everything means when you're in drag, you prefer to be referred to as a she or a her, correct? You know what? I accept anything. I accept cunt and face. I mean, I'm pretty cool with it because I'm of a certain age. I, too, accept cunt face. I'm with you. It's true. It's true. I'm of a certain age where it's like, you know, I didn't think about those things. And I guess being a drag queen for so many years, I just answer to any of it. So me, I'm just whatever. As long as

you get the right name on the check, I don't give a shit. I'm old enough to even say the check because who the fuck gets a check anymore? But it's that thing where for me, it doesn't bother me at all. So, I mean, I can be called anything. Okay. Well, that's great to know. For me. For you. And then when you're not in drag, you identify as a man, correct? Yeah. Well, the jury should know on that one. It depends on who we talk to. I'm a little light in my loafers, but yeah, I would assume, yes, yes, that works for me. And are you in a relationship? Oh, currently, yeah, shockingly. And I say that very begrudgingly and carefully because, you know, when you get to a certain age, Chelsea, you start thinking you don't want to mention the fuckboys

because we've all been there and we've all been like, oh, this is the one. This is it. I'm not one of those people that proclaim it on Facebook or Instagram or any of that madness. But, you know, every now and then they catch a picture of you and then people think, yeah, this is it. And then you end up fucking yourself. You know, you end up getting screwed over and then you have to explain to the world in some form or fashion, hey, this didn't work out. So I've been low key with this one for about a year.

So it's been hard to keep a secret. You know, gays can't keep a secret. But we've been trying. And a year and like gay life is a really long time. That's like seven years, right? Yes, about seven years. Not lesbian, though. Lesbian's about 12 years.

But this is about seven years in the gay world, yes. But I feel like lesbians, they stay together longer, no? Yeah, because they're lazy. Yeah, it makes sense. You know, it's all about, listen, I would be a lesbian because it's all about comfort. Look at the costumes. Look at the outfit. Look at the choices of hair.

Look at a cat. A cat can take care of themselves. I love it. Think about it, though. It's like it's literally all about comfort. So I would totally be a lesbian. A cat can take care of themselves. it's a different world for for a lesbian I mean they've got it figured out and is this your first

serious relationship or no oh hell no I've had I've had a couple I mean I'm gonna I'm 47 so I've been around the block and I've had the good ones and the bad ones but you know it's you get to that point where you're like all right let's see if this is working and slowly this has been working shockingly and what do you think makes it work for you well giving up giving up Chelsea that's it just giving up like you said uh no it's more or less just kind of being with an adult does that make sense I don't even know if it's about age but it's more about just being an adult he's got his own shit he doesn't give a fuck what I do he doesn't care about drag he's not interested in it which is a lovely thing you know didn't even ask questions about it which makes it so much

more entertaining you know because I can go do my thing he can go do his and then we meet in the middle and how much of your life does drag take up far too much I mean it's your profession really right yeah yeah but you know it's kind of like you got to create your own world so for me it's usually when i'm out on the road i just finished a tour where i was out for 13 months and so we did 129 shows in 27 countries and 99 cities so that's the schedule you know and that's not just going out but it's like going out with drag you know you got your meet and greets before the show you got to get in the drag you got to pack the drag you got to go to the other countries and stuff so it's a lot there and it's not so much like oh my life is difficult it just means you know when

you're in the monkey suit you're ready to entertain when you're out of the monkey suit you're like get the fuck away from me I need to sleep I need to drink I need to be you know I don't want to be bothered so I guess that's the the packaging for it you know you start to realize it's a lot physically and mentally then you go how fucking lucky to get to travel the world and do what I do you know yeah it expends I'm sure it expends a lot of energy there must be days where you just do not feel like getting it up right like getting your outfit together and doing the whole hair and makeup right I mean I know as a woman that I don't want to do that on most days no no it's true and And it is kind of exhausting.

But then in the end, you realize, you know, if I don't wear the wig or the makeup, I got to have the packaging to make it theatrical. How long does it take you to get in drag? I'm curious. Uh, I could get ready in about an hour. You know, if I have everything. Oh, okay. If I have, yeah, I'm not one of those.

If you've seen me, I don't blend. So it's not like I'm sitting back doing this whole, you know, luxurious moment thing. It's not that fancy for me. But literally, if everything is in a room, I could do it within an hour. And what about the culture of your profession? I would assume it could be pretty catty. Oh, God, yes. Okay, okay.

But I mean, the cattiness of it, though, those are the people that are your friends. You know, everybody that's a cunt is my friend. That's kind of part of it, right? Giving each other shit in an exaggerated way because you're on top of it. You are drag queens who kind of do that for a living. Without a doubt.

And I think I have, I'm always suspicious of drag queens that don't drink and don't have a fucking sense of humor. I go, how can you not have any of those? And so for me, you know, when I started out, I was working in gay bars and you would do gay bars or cabaret spaces. That's the only place you could find a drag queen.

But now you walk outside, they're fucking hanging from the trees. Everywhere you go is some stupid bitch with a wig on saying, drag, save my life. No, that's not how I look at it. For me, it's a job. It's what I do. And it's not necessarily my identity. But when I'm in it, let's go have fucking fun. You know, let's make the best of it.

Take the piss out of each other, basically. Yeah, that's fun. Where are you based out of? Currently, I'm in Palm Springs because it was cheaper than having plastic surgery. You know, you just come out here where the old people are and immediately you look better. So I've been out here now for about, since the pandemic, for about three years. Oh, really? I was going to guess that you were in Miami just by your decor behind you.

Oh, no, no, no, no. It's Palm Springs. Everything's white. Even my neighbors. That's a whole other story. Because I am the brownest thing in this neighborhood that doesn't have a lawnmower. But that's a whole other story. Okay.

Well, Catherine. Yes. We're going to take calls from people. You're going to expend great advice, as I can suspect you're very good at giving. Sure. And we're going to help people along with their problems today. We're going to help people with problems. And we curate the episodes to our guests.

So we have questions that I think you'll be able to relate to. Or at least Catherine thinks. Yeah. Catherine produces all our episodes. Every time I come here, it's a surprise. Yes, exactly. Well, I'm going to make us take a quick break, and then we'll be right back with Bianca and Chelsea.

Okay. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at fellerdirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.

every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,

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Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back.

We're back. We're back. Brad, our engineer, quick question. Is Rob on the line or no? No, Rob. just Danny and Brian are you I'm sorry Brad

are you listening to Whitney Houston feeling it watching Instagram videos it's Brad's favorite song is I want to dance with somebody

like no lie and he doesn't dance and he doesn't dance that's crazy he doesn't dance Catherine you know I love Celine Dion that's not accurate

so Celine Dion is where it's at actually she's pretty fucking funny I didn't realize Celine Dion was funny hysterical

yeah a drag queen introduced me to her well not introduced me but verified I he's like, Chelsea, you have got to watch her. She fucks around and she's really funny. And I was like, oh, she's I didn't know.

Yes. Then that awkward in that awkward way, which makes it so fucking fun. Yeah. And the and an awkward French Canadian way. Yeah, that too. All right. Well, so Brad, sorry, we don't have him on. Correct.

No. OK. And my heart will go. OK, wonderful. I think this question is great for both of you. So Rob is writing in from Toronto. He says, Dear Chelsea, After an emotionally exhausting relationship with someone who I thought was going to be my person, I ended things after coming to the conclusion that he was

manipulating me and playing games due to what I believe were narcissistic tendencies. This scenario forced me to call him out on his behavior and block him so he would stop reaching out to try and convince me that he had changed and that we should get back together. Luckily, I've moved forward and been able to get back on the mend. But here's the issue. He and I fell in love over a common interest. We both want to pursue a career in comedy and writing. Now, him being further along in his career means he's become a part of that world in our city. Meanwhile, little old me is just getting started. It means that I'll have to see him, interact with him, and deal with him again after coming to the incredibly hard conclusion that the best thing for me would be to never have

to see him again. I don't have any intention to sacrifice my career ambitions, but I'm also unsure how to face all that anxiety, depression, and emotional trauma all over again. How do I honor the part of me that wants to make this a reality while also honoring the part of me that has urged me to stay away? Rob. I'll go first, okay, Roy? Got it. And you can follow up. First of all, huge opportunity for growth right here. Huge growth opportunity. As they would say in any book, whenever you have to be faced with something, you're already saying that you're going to pursue your career. He's going to be in the same career. There's nothing you can do about it. All you can control is the way that you react to the situation and handle the situation. And

you have a huge opportunity to handle it with dignity and with grace and with self-respect and respect for him too. It didn't work out. That doesn't mean anything. You don't have to harbor ill will for that person. In fact, you should want that person to be able to find what they're looking for, regardless of whether they're a narcissist or how they treated you or the dynamic of your relationship, you should want the best for him. And if you keep saying that to yourself, eventually you'll start to believe that you want the best for him. Sometimes you kind of have to trick yourself into thinking that, but this is a great, great life lesson. I mean, I'm excited for you because you could go into this and be like, I am going to crush this. You know what I mean?

I'm going to get an A plus in this class of like being a higher person and leading the way. You Who are going to be an example to show him and the people around you how to behave after a breakup? Rob, I say move. Pack your shit and move. Listen, gays are the fucking worst. They will haunt you. They will drive you crazy. Get the fuck out of town. No, the thing is, you know, this is the thing. Chelsea's right. Be the bigger person, which can be very difficult when you're dealing with gay people because they don't sit well with it. The fact that you both were in the same profession, that alone is a fucking nightmare. I can't. I would never. Would you date another comedian?

Oh, I guess I shouldn't ask Chelsea. But I mean, in general, for me, I couldn't imagine dating another drag queen. I think that would be quite problematic, you know? So I don't know if I could do it. So you're a better person for even giving that fucker an opportunity. But just have a drink and remember that, you know, one day he's going to die. And that should make you feel better. And that should help you get through this.

Yeah. That's how I look at it. There's two sides of the coin in that advice right there. Well, our next question comes from Danny. Danny says, Dear Chelsea, My friend, who I'll call Matt, and I have been close friends since college. For the last 20 years, he's been a faithful, loyal friend who I've shared good times and bad times with. He's funny. He's loyal. He's sassy.

We both came out at around the same time in life. We've gone through a lot together, and he's family to me. He still lives in Dallas, where we went to school. I live in Boston with my husband. Matt visits frequently, and there's one side of him that makes it difficult to have him around. He has loud outbursts at times. at restaurants on the streets and he even said something out the window to my neighbor who has severe mental health issues he whistles at people at bars and says obnoxious shit to strangers in

the streets he's meaning to be funny or playful but it makes me want to disappear out of humiliation it's the behavior of a teenager and we are 40 years old i've asked him repeatedly to please stop and he doesn't seem to understand how embarrassing this is for me i've gotten to the point where i feel like i need to tell him this behavior must stop immediately or he can't come to visit anymore. He's never responded well to criticism, so I'm at a loss on how to approach him with this, as he's already experiencing some loneliness in his life and therefore likes visiting frequently. Much love from Boston, Dani. I think we all have some loud friends. Yeah, yeah, we all do. Well, I took it personal. I thought he was describing me. Dani,

this is challenging. It's annoying when somebody thinks they're funny and they're not being funny. I can't fake laugh at something that I don't think is funny. So that's annoying, a really annoying quality. Hi, Danny. Hi, Danny. Hi, how are you? Good. Hi.

We hear your friend Matt as being very annoying. Yes, very much so. Yeah, that is really annoying, by the way. I hate that. I hate loud, when people are screaming and loud, you know? And I also hate when people think they're funny and they're not. and you're supposed to pretend to laugh or not or whatever. Anyway, I think your friend is worth losing.

And I've been influenced already by Roy on this podcast today. Move! Move! I know. I think your friend is. If you lost him, it's not that big of a detriment to you, is it? I mean, yeah. So that's the complicated part. I mean, so we've been friends for, I mean, 22 years, if I'm doing the math right.

So it would feel like a huge impact for me. But like I was telling Catherine yesterday, I know you guys are busy, so I won't give you my whole story. But we're busy fucking doing this podcast. I mean, we're busy listening to callers. So, yeah, give us your story. OK, awesome. Thanks, Chelsea. I mean, you know, keep it succinct, though.

So I grew up in very like small town Texas. is I left my small fucking town and moved to Boston and have the career I want and a tall, gorgeous Italian husband and basically killing it. And like, it's the truth. And, and it's that thing where it's just here in my new life that I have here that I've worked very hard for. I live with like co-respect, if that makes sense. Like let's live positively towards each other and that type of thing.

But I am not I am not going to suffer fools and I'm not going to put up with people's bullshit anymore. And I deserve respect like anybody else deserves respect. But he probably doesn't think he's disrespecting you in his defense. He thinks he's being entertaining or funny, you know? Oh, totally. And also, Danny, you said you've been friends for like 22 years now. Was he being annoying the fuck out of you for 22 years or is it just recently that he started annoying you? Is he jealous because you've got that fine piece of Italian man?

is that what's setting him off that he's forced to talk to strangers to make himself be noticed is that what it is danny no no no i don't i don't think it's that at all i mean i think that it's always been there in some capacity but then it's just a mixture of things so i live in a different city and then he turns into this like quote-unquote city person when he's here and i'm like look the fuck around you no one else is acting like that and all of us live here what exactly does he turn into it's coming from it's like a it's like a get out of my way like no like whatever and I'm like you're kind of the one being Mr. Nonsense and irritating everybody because it's one of these older friendships where they're used to me being

that person it feels like I have to handle that new version of me a little bit more delicately but then I live in Cambridge. I live very close to Harvard square for 11 years. I know people and you're embarrassing me and people in my building know me and all these things. So that's, I think that's where I'm having such a hard time. How do I go? Can you please knock this the fuck off and be 40? Cause you're not like a 15 year old girl. Yes, absolutely. But obviously you've said it to him in the past right yes i have yeah and did you say it like you just said it to us knock the knock it the fuck off you're embarrassing the shit out of us you're 40 you're 40 and there's nothing worse than telling a gay person they're 40 that's a fucking reality

check it's definitely gonna wreck his nerves and it sounds like you hate him danny it sounds like you've made that you've already got all this figured out you hate him just drop him it's not worth all the grief no i definitely don't feel like i hate him i think with my own personal growth. And people have had to have compassion for me when I was just being a fucking idiot in places in my life. But I went, Oh, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I will not I'm going to stop doing that. Yeah, I think it's your approach. I think if you say to him in a much more gentle, loving way, like in a thoughtful way, where the conversation isn't a reaction to his behavior, it's actually aside from his behavior, you know, you either have a phone call or see him in person, whatever

feels right to you but I think you can address this and be like listen I know we've joked about it and I've been kind of a shit about it in the past reactive to your behavior but I have to tell you it's not funny and it makes other people uncomfortable and it makes me uncomfortable and like say it in a really loving way like I care about our friendship it's been 22 years it's starting to become an issue like you don't seem to have any self-awareness around this issue that you know how you're coming across isn't what you think it is and you know without assailing him but just laying it on the table in a more loving way yeah i think there's also something there with like when we're out at the bar like be yourself be your crazy self we love to see it but when

we're walking home late at night in my neighborhood where i know all these people who are 80 or whatever one who has is mentally ill like we don't need you triggering them or screaming at them And if he can't get it together and he can't obey by those rules, then, you know, maybe he doesn't come to say anymore. Right. Yeah. And I mean, that's where I'm at. I want to have space for everybody in my life. If they're Texas people or Boston people or wherever people, if it's someone I love, I want to have space for them in my life. But for me, it's just like you're literally taking space from me by being here. Well, he's got to meet you halfway.

He's got to meet you halfway. He's going to be respectful of what you're going through as well. Yes. Totally. That's really great advice in terms of just approaching it a little bit more gently. And also, I think just bringing it up when it's not a place where I am just ready to go off. I think that's the bigger part is I need to get to a place where I can separate myself from the problem and go, this isn't mine to carry. Yeah.

Yep. And it's also okay to set that boundary with your friends. And remember, you're in Cambridge and you got that fine man. Don't worry about that little bitch. You can't worry about him all the time. He's in Texas. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Just turn that beat around and focus on your big Italian sausage.

Awesome. Thank you so much, Danny. Thanks, Danny. Thank you all. Thank you. Bye. Bye-bye. I love Danny.

I love Danny, too. I was just thinking about my big Italian sausage. As I said that, I was like, I've never had a big Italian sausage. And then I was like, oh, yeah, I did. I dated an Italian guy who lived in Spain, but I dated him for a couple of months. Well, no, we had like a long-term kind of come and go affair. Like we'd meet each other in cities. It was pretty cute, actually.

How long did that last? Over the course of like a year or two. Nice. We were never like exclusive. It was just an understood. A moment. We would meet up in different cities, which is my favorite thing really to do for having sex anyway. Chelsea, you have area codes.

I know. I love a man in every port. You know what I mean? as you should. Chelsea, are you sure you're not a gay man? I mean, I know I'm not. I'm not sure. I don't know if I'm a lesbian or a gay man, but I feel like I am definitely on the other side of things. Got it. Got it. Well, our next question comes from Brian. Brian's also here with us on the phone. He says, Dear Chelsea, I'm writing because I need some advice that I haven't been able to get from a therapist. A thing that haunts me is the dynamic I have in a lot of my friendships.

Ever since middle school, I've been told that I'm easy to pick on or fun to tease. I definitely grew up in a household where I was sort of prepped to expect the world to reject me. Both of my parents are deeply insecure and somehow transferred that to me as an attempt at protection. Now in my mid-30s, I'm still haunted by friendships with people who seem to find a lot of pleasure in teasing me or picking on me, often about things that are reminiscent of what I got picked on for in middle school, my weight, or my lack of masculinity. Therapist after therapist gives me the same runaround about having self-worth and all that stuff. That's lovely, but it's hard to balance an attitude of not taking oneself too seriously and also not being self-deprecating. I think a lot of this is just sort of lazy humor that people have

that was popular in the early 2000s and we've all sort of grown up from. One of the things I love about you and your podcast has been your evolution and your own sense of humor. I'm just really looking for some help and advice from someone that I think has their shit together and isn't so damn invested in who i am brian hi brian hi brian hi hi brian we have our special guest today bianca slash roy hi brian hey nice to meet you nice to meet you hi okay so your friends is it the same group of friends is it a varied group i mean is it a lot of people or is it it's like a good percentage of my friends but i think so i've got friends from my like teens and 20s from when I lived in Atlanta. And then I've got friends from when I moved back to California

that are mostly people I met in my 30s. And I really thought that when I made that move, that I would be able to redefine that boundary of how I talked about myself and how I let friends talk about me. And I just noticed like the same pattern has started up again over the past few years. So I'm kind of at a loss. Okay, so what is the pattern? Can you give us some examples? Totally. I mean, it could be like little remarks from straight friends about being so gay or too gay or you look straight until you open your mouth and start talking or comments about my weight. I work in the diversity, equity, and inclusion space.

So like jokes about me being the woke police or just stuff like that. I see. Yeah. Okay. Well, I think these are just kind of leftovers. You know what I mean? like everybody's getting up to speed if you're these people are good friends in your life I'm sure that they care about you right so it is lazy humor it is leftover from we're entering a like a

world where like it's not cool to say that anymore and some people are just kind of like they don't want to let that go you know what I mean it's easy to make that joke it's easy to make that reference I'm guilty of it myself at times you know I just always have to remember like pick it up pick up your humor so I think you have to just have a different reaction than you've had and and don't think of it as a reaction as much of as response where you are firm you know and whatever that looks like for you like it can be a real conversation or it can just be like the way you react in the moment like dude if you still think you can say stuff like that you're like mistaken like get with the program yeah I might be the woke police but I know what's going on and

you guys don't it's not cool to make fun of people being gay anymore it's not funny anymore get more clever in your humor I think you have to be a little bit more aggressive than your probably natural disposition allows you to be. Totally. And I think where I've tried to like call people out on it, especially when it's stuff that I'm like really sensitive about, the immediate reaction that I get is, oh my God, you take yourself too seriously. Oh my God, you're too sensitive. And that's where I honestly like fall apart and turn into like a kid being bullied on the schoolyard again and just kind of want to burst into tears. Yeah. You don't want to do that. you don't want to do that you want to like handle it in a way that it's not a question right because

then they're going to attack you for being weak and then that supports their argument that you're already too much of a whatever too effeminate or too girly or too gay or whatever like I think you have to just be succinct about it like it's not cool guys at all and not in a victim-y way in a way that you're not the victim in a way that you're taking charge of your life like great if you guys want to do that that's great but I have other friends that aren't going to treat me like that even though you don't yet let's just pretend you do okay because we're going to manifest them and you're going to start talking and you're going to start attracting people that are going to be treating you in a more dignified way because the people you're around is always just a projection

of yourself so when you start taking your gayness more seriously and with more pride instead of being a victim about it then you're going to be in a position of power instead of a position of weakness which it seems that you're in right now but that's easy to shift out of totally and you also have to realize that you know when someone says this kind of shit like as gay people we've heard this our entire life as you said you dealt with it as a kid and it takes you back there is it literally in your mind you have to flip it and just go i've heard it this doesn't affect me on that level anymore i can't allow it to affect me anymore you got me i'm gay i'm as gay as it gets now what else you got yeah i'm gonna fly away in about five minutes it's just one of those

things where it is it is a lazy situation but yeah once you assess it and just kind of in your own mind go hey i'm not that kid anymore and i don't have to put up with this shit you know and you do realize that when people are this negative in your world that it does become exhausting how much of it are you willing to take how much are you willing to put up with you know and so i think if you put it on the line with them then they have the option of either staying and being a better person or getting the fuck out you know it ain't worth all that it ain't worth all that trust me i've been called sissy i've been called everything and it's just one of those things where like if you say fag on the street, I'm going to turn first because I would react to it going, hey,

but in the end, I laugh at it now, you know, because I am a big faggot in a wig. You know, it's my job. And Brian, you mentioned being self-deprecating. Is that something that you find yourself sort of leading with when you meet someone new or, you know, are in a new friend group? Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, I've been out since I was 13 and had a weight problem since I was younger than that. So of course, like the way that I've always learned to sort of be on the defense is to make the joke quicker than everybody else does. And through like years and years and years of therapy, I've learned that that's something I have to really check. But also, it does make people feel more comfortable around you when you can show that you can

make a joke about yourself. It's just such a hard boundary for me to find between being self-deprecating and then also not just talking shit about yourself. Right. Exactly. You can be self-deprecating, but not when you're telling yourself negative things about yourself. There are different ways to be funny and make other people feel comfortable without putting yourself down. Yeah. Right. Like Chelsea has a joke about like the difference between the sun and the moon and she talks about that, but she's not going around calling herself stupid. There's a difference between a shame-based, quote-unquote, self-deprecation and something that's fun and lively and invites positivity into your life. So just be really careful. And maybe for a time,

you aren't self-deprecating. Maybe you take a break from that for a little while and start making jokes that are positive about yourself and see where that gets you. See what happens with that. Yeah, I like that idea, making jokes that are positive about yourself. And also, you know like whatever your approach has been or response has been thus far isn't setting the right message so you should experiment with some other responses you know and it doesn't have to be like you getting up and storming out when you're in a group setting and your friends are like not getting it it's about you laying down a boundary and going hey guys I know this is fun for you but it's so old and it's so not funny for me like this is my life I'm not interested in hearing about this

anymore like if we can't have more clever jokes about me then like why don't you guys let me know when you're ready to hang out without making fun of the fact that I'm gay. When you're ready to do that and you feel more mature, then great. And you know, you could try it like that, but make it a non-emotional. I know it's hard in the moment when you're having those interactions, but I think this is a perfect example of something that kind of needs to be handled in the moment. Yeah, totally. Yeah. I mean, that makes total sense. And it's a good exercise for you. It's great, you know, because once you get a little bit of power, your power back, you're going to like the way that feels. And then there's going to be more boundaries and boundaries are good. Like they're

not limiting. They actually are expansive because they make people behave in different ways and they make other people expand their behavior. You know what I mean? So like you're not just helping yourself, you're helping other people around you and you're setting up a dynamic that's much more respectful to yourself. Right. You know, I think there's also an opportunity maybe for you to express to your friends that you are making a conscious shift in how you talk about yourself and what you talk about. Yeah. I had a moment with my therapist

where I was like, my in-laws are going to bring up such and such and I'm going to have to talk about it. And she's like, you know what? Just say like, I actually used to talk about that

all the time and I'm not comfortable talking about it anymore. And then you change the subject and like think it's okay to do that in like a kind and caring way. Like I don't really love joking about my weight anymore.

Like let's move on. You know? It's just like taking ownership over something. Just taking ownership over it and also just realizing, hey, we've been there. We've discussed it.

It's been beaten to death. Moving on. Yeah. And I think being comfortable with that, like momentary discomfort, knowing it's going to have a positive, it's temporary in the long run. Yeah. I mean, it's like, I was talking about this last week, I was reading this book and I was talking about like letting go and dancing, even though you may look like an idiot, you're

learning how to dance or you're going to, you're going to let people see you kind of stumble. And for me, cause I'm not good at dancing. I have no rhythm, but I was like, it's preventing me from dancing. Like, I don't want to be like that. I don't care what I look like when I dance. At least I want to be that person. So I just, I was like, okay, I made a real effort this winter when I was up with my friends, when we went out, I was like, you got to dance all the time. Just

dance as an exercise. Cause it doesn't matter what anybody thinks. And it doesn't matter if people see you mess up, that's good. And it's a growth spurt for you to be uncomfortable in what you're asking and then see the results of what you're asking. And if your friends aren't respectful of that, then they're not your friends to begin with. You know what I mean? The bigger issue, right? Yeah, you go. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm sure that they will be. Yeah. It's probably me giving them a little bit more credit too. And just giving them time to understand that like, I'm having a shift in how I want to talk about myself. So yeah, absolutely. Well, is this helpful, Brian?

Yeah, totally. Years and years in therapy can give you a bunch of tools. But sometimes you just need like a really good pep talk so this has been great for that and i thank you all so much and we didn't even charge you we didn't even i know we are we're gonna venmo you or do you venmo us who venmo's who is it the purchaser or the ower or the buyer i don't know it's so confusing are we on paypal okay yeah we'll send you an invoice awesome well thank you so much brian good luck bye a lot of questions that really like deep down are about people please with two people who are, in my opinion, don't seem very concerned about pleasing people.

No. No, I'm quick to drop a bitch. I'm just one of those. I mean, I think also just as you get older, you start to realize we ain't got much time. Like, do I really want to be bothered with this toxic person, you know? And if they're going through a moment,

I never say never. So it's that thing of like, if you have a spell and you don't speak to them and then eventually you pick back up, all right, you got over yourself. We addressed it. Now you're in a better place. That's fine.

But the daily occurrence or just dealing with that annoying son of a bitch, I don't think I could do it. I just can't. Yeah, and also, these people aren't necessarily toxic. They just are not. They haven't been called to task for their behavior. So if they were called to task for their behavior

and then increased that behavior, you know what I mean? Then it's toxic. But like, we have to give them a little bit of credit to understand that they might get the feedback and be like, oh shit, you're totally right. Sorry, sorry we did that. You know, that's also an option.

And they may have just like gotten the wrong impression in the beginning of like he's teasing about himself like he's the guy who's let me jump on the bandwagon yeah

exactly well let's take a quick break and we'll be right back to wrap up with Bianca Del Rio and Chelsea the Jonas Brothers are running it back

we live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brothers hits that have defined a generation one incredible celebration one unforgettable night When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.

I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it

takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for thought daughters pop culture obsessives and anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse i'm eli rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and the conversations everyone can't stop having i'm gonna have to look up this story i'm obsessed i'm obsessed from best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments nothing is off the table it's

Like, if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip,

I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Bianca Roy, I love your energy. Oh, well, thank you. You know, listen, it's just what it is. You know, for somebody who wears all this shit and drag, I'm just basically a normal person, which is funny, you know,

because you put all these layers on, you put all this madness, and people just assume that you're going to be different. No, I'm still the same sad fact out of it. So it's no big deal. It's what it is. Bianca, do you have any advice you'd like from Chelsea? Well, I'm just curious, though, Chelsea. You've been around.

You've had— The block. I've been around the block. You've been around the block? I've been around Jenny's block. And you've also been in and out of a big Italian sausage. You've had—oh, rehab. Oh, that's good.

I haven't done rehab yet. Is it—maybe that's the question. Is rehab worth it? I haven't been either, actually, to be quite honest with you. I'm not doing that in this lifetime. I was just going to say, it's for quitters. I feel like I was in rehab the last lifetime, and that's why I'm acting like this. That's why you're so set against it now.

I guess, you know, the question I would ask is that how do you maintain your sanity with as many projects as you have going on? Because of the fact that you basically, you know, as a comedian, as a writer, as a person who's out there and making appearances and talking, efforts like even just now giving advice to people how do you find that balance for yourself to stay kind of in tune with yourself and also funny entertaining engaging in the business side of it as well how do you how do you do it i mean i hate saying i have a practice i don't hate saying it i'm just not used to saying that but it is a practice i practice it i practice making sure that this is not my whole life that my whole life does not revolve around my career my career is pretty much the biggest thing in my life, but it doesn't take over my life. Like I have a private life and

a personal life and I have friends, you know, lots of different groups of friends that have nothing to do with Hollywood. And I try to spend as much time as I can away from LA so that I am reminded about the rest of the world. And I think that is a really important ingredient in terms of evolving and growing and learning. You know, I'm always trying to learn, even when I'm watching TV, I'm trying to learn something, you know, I try not to watch stupid shit so that I can be educated. But, you know, obviously I watch stupid shit as well. And, you know, what I'm reading and stuff. But it's really important to, for me at least, it has been, to remain very grounded in terms of my relationship with my family and my relationship with myself.

Not to be, not to have it all encompassing, you know, to have like a wide berth of interests, not a narrow field or to be like a hermit. You know, I always want to just go out and grow. And anytime I can, you know, leave this country, I do it so that I'm not getting recognized every single place. And I'm not constantly being told nice things about myself or terrible things about myself. Either way, it's not about me. You know what I mean? You want to get to a place in your life where not everything is about you. Right, right.

I think that's definitely the issues that lie within it because it's so, I guess, with social media, there's so much that's there out in the world. And then everybody then starts to compare or analyze what everybody's doing in the world. And there's a huge part of my life that I don't put, you know, as I was telling you before, I don't put all my business out there on the street. But what I do put out there, you are going to be judged by. So I try to maintain that sense of, hey, this is what this is and this is what my real life is. I just didn't know if that's like the best way to go, but it just seems like that works for you. Well, it's nice to integrate everything, you know, because whatever is happening in your private life and your personal life, you're able to bring with you to your profession and to your creativity and vice versa. So it's like it all feeds each other.

You know, there is no perfect ratio of time spent in the public eye versus time spent in the private eye. But, you know, I'm a very public person. I'm totally down with that because I'm not trying to pretend I'm anything other than who I am. And I like that people respond to it. So I have a lot of gratitude. but I also have a desire to not you know I can't tell you how nice it feels when you don't check Instagram all day one single time yeah yeah yeah when you could go a day 24 hours and then you start to deprogram yourself like it's fine to be on social media but not scrolling for hours blindly

and mindlessly like that is just and every time I give myself time like that I'm always feel it I'm like oh you're fuller like you felt you've you filled up your cup a little bit more today instead of depleting it with compare, contrast, gossip, looking at people, liking what they're wearing, not liking what they're wearing, whatever, all of that bullshit. So I think it's a good practice to try and just always maintain a little bit of, you know, some other interests. Makes sense. Makes sense.

It was great seeing you. I hope I get to see you in person one day soon. Yes, hopefully too. Yes, we've got to work that out. Next time you're around, we can make some ad does happen. Yeah, we can have a sausage party. Yeah, sausage party, all about it. I'll order up the Italian. That sounds like a joke that one of his friends would make to him.

Oh, God. Welcome to the sausage party. Jason has arrived. Okay. Have a great day. We love you. Thank you, babe. Thank you so much.

All right. Talk to you soon. Thanks. Bye. Bye. And don't forget, everybody, my new special, Revolution, is now streaming on Netflix. And it's badass. And then I'm doing a tour, a little big bitch tour.

Go to ChelseaHandler.com for tickets. I've added some new dates. I added a date in Monticello, New York. I'm coming to Colorado to Red Rocks Amphitheater. I'm coming to Kalamazoo. And then I'm coming to a bunch of places in Tennessee, Memphis, Knoxville, and Chattanooga. That's May 19th, 20th, and 21st. And then I'll be in Atlantic City June 10th, which is almost sold out.

So get your tickets. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at dearchelseepodcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartRadio, produced by Catherine Law and edited and Engineered by Brad Dickert. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.

Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Dillard, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for

anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B.

I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.