Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Brooke Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

Brooke Shields is here to chat about that surprise vaginal rejuvenation, judgment from strangers on the internet, and her new book, Brooke Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old. Then: A young mom worries her own mom prioritizes her looks and partying over being a grandma.   * LA WILDFIRE HELP Help Patrick Rebuild Help Miles Rebuild  Altadena Displaced Black Families List Mutual Aid Spreadsheet - Get Help or Volunteer Pasadena Humane Los Angeles SPCA * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. How you holding up? I am in Whistler. I returned to Whistler after everything was canceled in Los Angeles. So I am here watching from afar all the devastation. And how are you guys doing? We're holding up. It's nice to talk to you now that both of our houses are hopefully not in immediate danger. And last time when we talked, we saw a plume of smoke coming over our house, and we had to cut out early. So it's been a really scary couple, or not even a couple weeks, week. And we're just hanging in there for all our friends who've lost their homes or

businesses. And I know I'm sure you have some friends who've lost homes. We've got friends who've lost homes. And a special shout out to all of our frontline workers and first responders and firefighters. The jobs that they are doing are unfathomable. And it's so scary. And I have high hopes for us building back a Los Angeles that is safer, more fire resilient, and a more community centered place. I think this is a way for all Angelenos to really come together and set the tone for what it looks like to rebuild a city that has been decimated, that has been pulverized. Yeah. Yeah. Brad and I, basically, we had to go get out of here. Once we knew we weren't in immediate danger from the fires near our house, Saturday and Sunday, we just went and volunteered

to like get the nervous energy out of our bodies. And it was amazing. Like there were so many people. There were times when the organizations we worked with had to like pause donations or pause volunteers because they just like had too many. And it was, you know, and then they restart again. And it was, it was, has just been really inspiring

to see everybody showing up for the city. And for each other. Absolutely. Yeah. And Chelsea, I know you wanted to share some resources. So we've compiled a list of those. And of course, we'll have links to those in the show notes. If you are somebody affected by the fires and you need help, or if you live in the Los

Angeles area and you want to provide help, Mutual Aid put together a spreadsheet that you can sort by area, by need type. So they'll actually be in there updating whether they need volunteers today or what kinds of donations they need, whether that's clothing or tampons or diapers or any of those things. So check that out if you need help or you're ready to give help. If you're not in the Los Angeles area or you're not able to get out and help but you'd like to donate, we have several links in the show notes. And the first one is a personal friend of ours. His name is Patrick.

He and Brad were in Save Ferris together for several years, toured all over together. And he's somebody who he's been through a lot and really overcame a lot of adversity in his younger years and went on to be an awesome single dad and has a wonderful partner now. He bought one of those typical tiny Altadena homes that his mom, who had lived in her house for decades, moved to be closer to them two blocks away, and both of them lost everything but the shirts on their back. So he would be a wonderful person to donate. My other friend, Miles, who I work with, who is on Daily Zeitgeist, if any of you know that show, he also lost his home. He and his wife and child got out ahead of the fires, but they lost their home and everything in it. Altadena is also a historically black neighborhood. And so someone has put together a spreadsheet of all of the GoFundMes for black families who lost their homes in the fires.

So we'll have a link to that as well. And if you'd like to donate for displaced pets, Pasadena Humane is doing wonderful work and they're right near Altadena. They're dealing with a huge influx of pets and donations so they could really use the help. And then also the SPCA in Los Angeles is doing great work. We volunteered with them this weekend as well and they'd be a great place to donate as well if pets are your thing. So I know in times like this, it can feel like you're totally helpless and there's nothing you can do and you're just watching something awful happen somewhere else and donating to one of these funds or to another, you know, a friend of a friend who shares a GoFundMe. Those are ways that you can get involved and actually make real change in real time for people who need resources right now as they're like figuring out insurance and figuring out what to do next and figuring out where they're going to live. Even five bucks helps. Of course, more is great, but any small amount that you can help these families out with, I know will be really, really well used. Absolutely. And our guest this week is Brooke Shields. As she is here talking about aging, she has a new book called

Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old. And we've had her on the pod before and she's back again. And I can't believe I just used pod as a nickname for podcast. That's where my head is at. Please welcome Brooke Shields. Brooke, welcome.

Welcome back to the podcast, Brooke Shields. Thank you. We love you. We love you here. I loved, I found your book to be so comforting. Oh, good. I mean, I know you've written other books, but this book is about aging, your thoughts on aging, how your experience in aging, it's actually called Brooke Shields is Not Allowed

to Get Old, which I would imagine to be a very real feeling for you. And as you discuss in the books, there's so much stuff in here about what it's like to feel like public property and to feel like your physicality, your age, your body was kind of owned by the public because of how young you started working. And I don't think that's, you know, obviously a very common experience. I remember seeing you on Drew Barrymore and watching the two of you kind of connect on all of the dysfunction that you experience. And I was like, oh, God, I hope there's more women out there that they can connect with about it because it's such an unusual experience. It is. And we had a very different reaction to the experience.

But I always felt very protective of her. I've always felt like that. And I'm older, so that helped it. I think it's more universal than we think it is insofar as the ability for the world. Now, it's everywhere on Instagram or TikTok or comments or whatever it is. Everybody has so much to say about everybody else. And we didn't ask for it. And you don't just have to be in the public eye. Right.

You're just a normal person who gets an Instagram account, you know. And so I think that part's more universal is that we're constantly commented on our beauty. There's opinions and that they're voiced. And there's this funniest thing happened to me. I was doing an Instagram Live the other day for the book and all of a sudden it pops out in bold letters because, of course, it had to be all caps just in case I didn't hear the message. And it was, oh, I really wish you looked the way that you used to look when you were younger. And I just laughed. I had to share it with everybody live.

And I said, hey, I couldn't tell if this was a guy or not, but I'm sure it probably was a guy. And I said, read the title. Read the title, dude. And go, that's the point. It's amazing to me because there's a story in the book, too, where you reveal your age to some guy in his wine cellar at his house. And he's like, I really wish you hadn't told me that.

He says he was born in 72. You admit that you were born in 65. and he's, like, almost disgusted that you would reveal that to him and then had to deal with his own age identity. Like, it was bothersome to remind him of how old he was. Yes. I mean, it's unreal that men feel like they can say this to us or say this to you or any woman.

I mean, it's just unreal. So ridiculous. Well, it's also even complimenting someone, like, oh, you look great. Well, did you think I didn't look great before? Do you think I've had work done? do you think that I've had that? I'm like, why is it so quick? No, I know women, I always want to celebrate my friends. So I'm always going to be positive about that. You know, it's Britney

Spears being asked about her virginity. It's me being asked to stand up so that Barbara Walters can compare her measurements to me, to a 15 year old. Like it's just, it's so absurd, but has been so allowed and perpetuated for so long. So I think that that's it, you know? But it's still happening. Oh, yeah. You know, like that with Barbara Walters, that happens to you, what, 50 years ago, 40 years ago? But it doesn't end.

It doesn't. It's kind of like, well, aren't we supposed to be learning? In the beginning of the book, you talk about, you tell a story where you're being interviewed by a reporter and they keep asking you the same question, hoping that you're going to give a different answer. And at some point you say that. You say like, I'm sorry, I don't think I'm giving you the answer you want. And I know exactly what you're talking about. You start learning to play certain games, you know, and you just to get through these things because you know that they don't really care. Or I just start learning how to speak in sentences that couldn't be chopped up to have a completely different meaning when they're put in print. Yeah. And one of the things that's really

really admirable and very obvious to any outsider is that you have over the years really realized as you've aged how to stand in your power. One example being, you know, that Tom Cruise incident that you speak about in the book where he was talking about medication and on with that with Matt Lauer, I believe, and was being very he was calling Matt Lauer glib because he was talking about you and your postpartum and that you didn't really need to take any medication. I think that was basically the gist of it knowing nothing about your situation knowing that not not having ovaries by the way not being a woman not being a woman and then so that and then you stuck stood up for yourself very publicly with an op-ed in the New York Times right yeah and he came over and finally

apologized to you but taking that on like that in and of itself you know a lot of people would be scared to take on a celebrity of that magnitude, but he was so, I totally would never miss a beat to do exactly what you did because he was so misguided and so misinformed and has absolutely no business speaking on that subject matter whatsoever. So how did that feel like having that apology come from him? How did it feel to stand up for yourself in that way? You know, it felt very justified. And I think you don't need the justification to stand up for yourself, that that wasn't the way I was raised. And so this felt very clear because I was also not just fighting for myself. I was fighting for women and the terror that postpartum depression

can hoist on you and the danger of it. And there was so much at stake for women. So to have someone so considered powerful take all of this that had been put forth to them women for the first time really and just undermine it on such a level I couldn't stand by and do nothing and I fired my publicist over it because she said do just that don't honor it with a with an answer and I said don't honor it with an answer. I'm honoring myself and other women who stand to be scared and hurt or just need and deserve the information. And so I did have a bigger, not a bad responsibility, but this like bigger reason to do it because it's, it wasn't selfish as much as it was because I, I'd known him forever. A lot of the antics that I see people have, you know,

they're not in my life daily so it's like their antics are just like I like antics it's good it's like but if this wasn't that anymore this wasn't personal in a weird way he made it personal yeah and and that was his mistake because you know not only was I like America's sweetheart by that who had been or whatever and that's a joke we use all the time in my house. But this was, women were, they were outraged. And I even said to him, I said, you know, you kind of barked up the wrong tree because of my ability to respond and because of what I have behind me that has been growing for 40 plus years. And I said, and it's something you, you're still not qualified to talk about. And you're qualified to talk about

what you want to talk about for yourself and your body, but this is, you are way out of your lane. And I said, so unfortunately it kind of backfired on you. And it did. I mean, we, and you had people coming out and people were still talking about it and then it's over 20 years later, you know? So I think it was a misstep. I think it was a mistake that he fessed up to making. And I think he felt like it was a mistake and he did apologize for it and and it was personal right and you know did I need him to do it publicly not not really because it was a different level of what he needed to do in my opinion yeah I want to flag something in your book too because you talk about having a grandma seizure which is pretty serious because you were training pretty hard or rehearsing pretty

hard for a Broadway show, right? We talk about water a lot and how much I loathe water on this podcast. I cannot drink it. I find it to be so boring. I constantly have to put electrolytes in it just to flavor it. And you have once again proved my point that drinking tons and tons and tons of water does nothing to help you, especially if there is a heat wave happening. You are depleting your system. The water itself is not good enough. You need the electrolytes and the sodium to hold onto the water. Some in my bag. Yes, I have the same exact ones. LMNT, of course, they're the best. So you passed out at a restaurant. You were going a million miles an hour. It was the middle of a heat wave. You're rehearsing for a Broadway play. And I go into this restaurant

to thank one of the women that worked there for coming in to see a run through. And as I walk in, two women come up to me and I don't know what they were talking about. I think maybe they were talking about the documentary? I don't know. On the video, you see me, you know, engage with them and then you see me sort of like go like this and then you see me do this a lot. And then I just, I just go down and I hit my like face on a serving station. And one of the women that came up to me was a registered nurse. What are the chances? It was really bad. And then I woke up in the ambulance. With Bradley Cooper? With Bradley Cooper, as one does. Hey, whenever anyone has a grand mal seizure in New York City, Bradley Cooper appears. Just everyone should know that.

It just appears. And the first thing that goes through your mind is, I must have not made it. But you're good friends with him, or you're friendly with him. He lives in your neighborhood. So he was there because your assistant had reached out to his assistant. La-da-da-da-da-da-da. Was that the first, that was, is that the first and last grand mal seizure you've had, Brooke? Yes. Oh, thank God. Yes. That is the first one. I have fainted before at times and I have low blood pressure, which is why I need the electrolytes and I need the salt. So I need salt in my diet because of that, because I have low blood pressure. And so the times that I've fainted have all been because somehow the sodium is low. So note to all our listeners,

Water isn't just going to do it on its own. So drinking copious amounts of water with nothing in it, it's useless. You might as well have a Diet Coke. But also in the hospital, do you remember what happened in the hospital? Yes, that the doctors, yeah, you go ahead. You tell the. They were the two doctors. Okay, they were men.

This is not a male hating thing, but they both, one said, are you restricting salt, ma'am, because of dietary reasons? I was like, first of all, don't call me ma'am. And don't talk to me in that tone. Yes. And I said, and second of all, I said, I'm a 58-year-old woman. I look younger, bloated. No, I do not restrict salt. And I find that very rude for you to ask me that question. And my husband like put his arm on my arm and I'm like, don't tell me to change my tone. I didn't like that tone. He doesn't have to like my tone. And then I got asked it again by another one of the nurses

that came in the male nurses that are you sure now you weren't definitely and I was like wow would you ask a man that question I don't think so I just don't no of course not and the way men talk to women in and in all medical ways like I mean yes there are great doctors out there who obviously ask the right questions but you speak a lot in this book about advocating medically for yourself in many different circumstances where you've been stuck in the hospital you broke your femur. You were in the hospital for over a month, I think. Yeah. I mean, you, and it was during COVID. So there were, I mean, or you were also in the hospital during COVID. So you've been through, you've been through it a lot and you understand the kind of way that, that women are spoken to.

I mean, you got an accidental vaginal rejuvenation in the hospital that you didn't ask for. It wasn't accidental. It wasn't accidental. It was a little, a little, I got a twofer, got a gift. He thought he was doing me some big favor. I was just shocked. Absolutely. By tightening your vagina. So she goes in. Wait, so tell that story. That's absolutely absurd. It's insane. And also, let me just say one thing before I get to my vagina yet again, which always is a very topic of conversation. You know, I also, it's not lost on me that I'm blessed enough to be able to have good health care and attention. I was taken care of well. I wasn't being, you know, shoved in a hallway something. So it's like, I sort of say like, it's very hard to self-advocate, but they're a little

bit afraid of me because I'm famous or something. And so like, but that's a, that's like a luxury. I mean, without that, it's, it's even a hundred times worse for women and women of color to have the, even the space and have anybody's ear to be able to self-advocate and ask the questions And how do we know what the right questions are? Anyway, I was asked by my gynecologist after babies, actually, and I was a bit wrong on the timing, but if there was any discomfort ever because of labia. And I've been experiencing it my entire life,

like cheerleading and tight jeans, skinny jeans, and then spinning and, you know, sex and like all this stuff, right? And I just thought you just had to deal with stuff. Some people had one boob difference, some people, you know, and I didn't know anything about it. And when I was asked if I had had that kind of discomfort, it was such a revelation. She said, there's nothing to be ashamed of. She said, I see it all the time and it's very common and it's very fixable.

it unfortunately falls under cosmetic surgery so your insurance probably isn't going to cover it and so I she said why don't you get a consult and and see if it makes sense to you and after having something bother me for so many decades you can't even believe that there might be an option and so he drew this whole sort of diagram about how kind of easy it was to do and how he does it all the time. And, you know, and I was talking about just the discomfort. I signed up for it, got it done, came back, you know, a week later or post-op or whatever. And, you know, he says, oh, it's more difficult. And it took me longer. And I'm like, okay, I don't need all the details. Thank you. Like, if it's good, it's good. You're like, we can watch the video when

we have a night of nothing to do. Because I'm sure you have that. And so I just like, is it all good? Am I healing? Is everything fine? How long will it take? All the questions. And then he said, and well, I threw in a little rejuvenation for you. And I said, I'm sorry, what? What do you mean? That's a different word than reduction. That's a different word than reduction. He goes, well, yeah, no, I just tightened up a bit. And I said, you did what? He goes, yeah. I was like, well, am I planning on being a porn star? I was like, I don't know. I don't understand. I didn't, I was like, plus you had C-sections, right? You had two C-sections. You didn't even give birth vaginally. No, my babies were IVF. I could argue I'm still a virgin.

Oh God, it's so gross. Men are so gross. Oh, just one of the things, I know we have to move on to collars, Catherine, but I do want to touch on one thing that I found very moving, Brooke. I thought this was really like, not only brave, but it was just a sign of what age brings us and the wisdom it brings us and the confidence that we gain in allowing ourselves to be honest with ourselves. And one of the things that you write about towards the end of the book is the kind of what-ifs in your life. Like, what if my career had gone in a different direction? What if I had gotten this movie, Dangerous Liaisons, that I was up for that was given to Uma Thurman, who got the part. What if you had been on a different trajectory and you kind of talk about the way

that you think of things and not in an ungrateful way at all, not in a way of not understanding how fortunate you are and how iconic you are and what that brings to the table, but in a way that is thoughtful and kind of looking at the past. And I think a lot of women are unable to do that until they are a certain age. They are unable to admit that they would have liked or they're wondering what could have been if things had gone in a different direction. So I found that to be very powerful because people will always be like, oh, no, no, no, everything that's meant to be is meant to be and that wasn't meant for me. I find myself saying that a lot of times when things don't go my way. And it's more like it's part self-convincing and part making sure you're not

being a crybaby, right? Boom-on-ing, yeah. Right. So talk to me a little bit about that. Express to our listeners, like, how you came about admitting to even feeling that and then wanting to write about it for other women. You know, it's something that I've pined for, you know,

and has pained me for so long. And there's this validation of my talent, right? And it's not about looks or beauty or anything like that because that I never put too much stock in because it was just a job. And also education was more important to me. So I got fortified really quickly by going to college. So that was my version of rebellion just for myself. But, you know, I've had the same therapist for quite some time and it's a theme that keeps coming back. And it's a theme that is, you know, what if, or I know I'm just famous and nobody thinks I'm really that talented or, well, thank God I found comedy because that's what I do really well. But yeah, I still don't. And I started to, I always believed I was less than because I wasn't what these other actresses who were very serious were.

And, you know, then I would work with some of them in a comedic setting and I would see them struggle with comedy. And then I would think, oh, that's interesting. You know, we're different players on this on the same team. You know, when I don't play ball sports anyway. I mean, any kind of sports lately. No lacrosse? Yeah. Can you imagine?

No, I can't imagine any of us playing lacrosse. I'm still trying to figure out what lacrosse is, quite frankly. Yes. it's a lot it's the cribbing or something like that but i just like saying ball sports because it just feels good coming out of my mouth and i think it's funny but this less than um and then this piece that i used to counteract it with um yes but brooke not only are you a good comedian but you also you know you've built this career and people trust you and you've got education and you can write. And it was always a justification. And I thought, well, if I'm

still doing this in my 50s, clearly I still have a problem with it. And I don't know if I'll ever get over it. I don't know. I don't even know if that's the kind of work I want to do. But to have not been chosen whenever I went out and tried for those parts, and then to be too famous and too recognizable to even be up for those parts. It always felt like this. It may have not even been a missed opportunity that I may have never even thought that that didn't matter. It was how I demeaned my talent, you know, and I always focus on, well, I'm a survivor and look, I'm healthy. I'm not a total train wreck. And that's because of education and parents. And, you know, my therapist would say, you got to give yourself some credit for your innate character. You do

have innate character that sees things and chooses the way you choose. She said, you know, you're not just a product of your parents or society or the press or your history. She's like, there is something that's Brooke in there that is just her. You know, and that kind of was like, what? That is a new concept. But the pining for being seen like the actresses I admire was so persistent for so long. And I could work on all the other stuff, right? And just feel good about it. But I just recently had the opportunity to act in front of, basically. It was hardly opposite because I had all the dialogue two very prominent female brilliant award-winning lovely women one is in her late six to early 70s one I'm a little bit older than and you know the

women I admired and I've known over the years met you meet you know everybody and I got asked to do this one, it's two days, but we just did one day so far in front of them. And it involved only emotion and only tears and only all this stuff that makes me cringe. And I thought, oh, well, don't do it. You don't want to do it. You don't want to embarrass yourself. You can't do it. And then I thought, well, I can't say no to this opportunity when for decades I've been asking for the opportunity. Now, all of a sudden I get it and I'm not going to say yes because of fear? Well, you're a pussy. Like, what are you doing? Like, I was just so, there were so many emotions. And I went there and I came out of the gate a little too hot because I

was trying and I was nervous and I was sweaty. And then I just sat down and said, you know what? They're not going to fire you. You're in one day. They obviously think you can do it. They don't want to look bad and have it be your fault. They don't really care about you, not the actresses, but the production. I don't even know what the real name of the production is, believe it or not, because it's also top secret. And I thought, you don't want to burn bridges, you know, or just do it, just do it. And I went to the director and I said, I think I'm trying to do too much. And I don't think it's right. I said, because I have a theory about this. And she said, I was coming over to tell you that right now she said you don't have to try hard she said it's all

there and we're watching it she said just trust and just do it and what happened at the end of the day after having to do it over and over and over again was I got validation and I'm not ashamed to say and you did it I was a little girl in those moments I was a little girl with those actresses And I was a little girl with, you know, mommy and daddy, the director. And each one of the women in their own way gave me like a, and they gave it to me as if, you know, you did a good job. I heard it as they thought I did a good job, right? Which was what I needed at that moment.

And I knew it too. I did, but I didn't, I wasn't really open to hearing it. The director came up to me after a 16-hour day and she said, that was really beautiful. And I said, oh, thank you. Thank you. I'm glad it worked out. And thank you for having me. And, you know, and then she went, no, no, no.

She's from Germany. She puts her hands on my shoulder. She said, I think you need to hear this. You blew me away. Oh. And that was it. And thank you for being open. And I just, I needed that.

Yeah. You know, and then whether I do any more of that again, I probably don't even really covet it in the same way. And should I be ashamed that I needed three women to, you know, was I lucky that I got that chance? Yes, but I also just needed to know it from myself and without even getting it from them. What the director said was icing on the cake because at the end of it, I called my husband before I heard any of that and I just said, he's like, how'd you do? I said, I did it. I did it. Now, I didn't say enough to get out of the park

and I'm going to get, you know, little gold men just, you know, all over the place. But it didn't matter about that anymore. It didn't matter about awards. It didn't matter about those things that as a little girl going to the Academy Awards, sitting in the back, back, back, up nosebleed seats and thinking one day I'm going to get there, one day.

Like that silliness and to just say, you know what, I'm okay and I am good enough and I can release that from myself and just I can release it, which was just, I mean, it was a pretty extreme great way to get it, I have to say. I would still be working on getting it without such obvious validation, but I no longer have the same pining that I used to. And I also look at my life now, and I definitely would not have the life. I would not be able to live the life that I'm living had I not had the level of fame and access. If I had just been on the path that I thought I was going to be on, you know, the Natalie Portman path when she did The Professional, which was sort of her pretty baby, you know, and working with the Louis Miles and Zaffarellis and really being in that ensconced in that world. And then all of a sudden turned on its head and you got dolls made after

you, you know, it always rocked me. I think anyone can relate to that whole notion of thinking that you're going to be going in one direction and finding out that that's not your destiny. And then also embracing what your destiny is, which is something you've also done. I just recently said no to singing opposite Cynthia Erivo in Lincoln Center, and I was begged to do it. And I mean, what idiot would say no to that? And I turned it down and I said, you know what this is not my strength my forte I would have loved to have said I was did it I'm okay not having your vocal prowess like I'm okay and that's another piece too is really knowing like knowing what your strengths are and I think that that's an important thing to be willing to

admit yeah I'm not that great at that I'm fine with it and they wanted me for some reason but you know walking away from something too that you just know in your heart of hearts you won't be able to soar with it's a very new concept for me so i just wanted that yeah no i love that i love that so we're gonna take a break i'm gonna be right back with brook shield behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or come home at all and will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed

for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't

stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network.

Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman. Not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this?

how about we flip it on its head how about we flip the script what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting

Adam Sandler to come to visit the show I would never expect I would never set expectations for something like that to happen if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile

masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that no i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like They're like, oh, what's the state? Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake. Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life.

And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Brooke. Okay, so you started a brand. Well, it started with you wanted a community to build community with commence, which is something that you have been thinking about doing for women over 40 who are going through all of the same things, all of the same emotions, all of the feelings of kind of stepping into who you really are, which is something, you know, it sounds very cliche, but I mean, I'm 49. I'm going to be 50 in a couple of months. I've never been happier in my life because I understand now where the joy is and to go after

that instead of going after all of the other stuff that we think we have to go after to make us relatable or relevant or successful like now I know we're happy yeah I don't make I don't date idiots I don't do stupid things like I used to when I'm younger so the joy and the power of aging is more than what we've been talking about, more than what we've been hearing about for the last many years about your confidence and about your sexual prowess or how you come into your own.

It's more than that. It's more, it's about, and this is a word that you use a lot too, which I use a lot in my book that's not out yet, but joy, finding joy, finding joy in everything you do, enjoying your life, especially where you,

at the stage you're in where your girls are gone, they're often doing their thing and you have to rediscover what are the things that make you happy and prioritizing yourself and also saying no to all of the bullshit that we've said yes to our whole lives because we want to please other people and then you've also have this hair brand because everyone loves your hair obviously you have the most famous hair and it's for women who are fitting who are going through menopause going through perimenopause dealing with hair thinning Do you want to talk a little bit about Commence, Brooke? Yeah, I started it as the community to really empower women to age joyfully.

I mean, joy was a word we've always had with us. And joyfully, and we say fearlessly, but it's not a call to action. It's not pressure. It's just there's joy to be had. And we've done so much in our lives. Whatever it is, we've gotten to this age. That's tremendous, right? you start having the conversations with women and they are craving it and it's pervasive and the

women that I know who are over 40 are fabulous and they are not so down on themselves they're wondering what's next and this sense of joy as to there's more to come is what not what society or the beauty industry really is the narrative they're feeding us right and it's certainly not historical. So we analyzed who we were as a brand and we said, you know what? We're not just a hair care brand. We're not just a beauty brand. We are a care brand. We always say take care. And there's a lot that means that. Take care of yourself. Take care to be listening to yourself. Take care when it's offered and be good to you like find where you are joyous and and cut out the people and the things and the experiences and the time sucks that are out there and let's see what we would do with

this extra time or how we'd feel and but we started to develop hair care with very strategic smaller groups with very very active ingredients working directly with the lab so we're not a not even a mastige. I guess they call it brand. We've kept it small. We've kept the price point very relatable. And they deal with scalp health. Scalp health is a thing in women that changes most dramatically. You know, the actual follicle, the root where it goes into the pore actually shrinks. It's so fair, the things that shrink when you get older and the things that drop and get bigger hair is one of them. Your scalp health, there's patchiness of dry, hormonal reactions, hormonal changes, luster, all of these things. And we went a deep dive and we created about six

products that dealt with addressing scalp health and therefore hair health from the root out. So that is the one piece we will be moving into other categories. I don't want to become just a hair care brand will just proliferate that and then just hold up things and say, buy this because I said it. I put my own money into it. Then I ran out of my own money. Then I had to raise money. Startups are brutal. And I spend more of my time trying to raise money and more of my time pivoting so that our team is amazing. I've never been a CEO. I can't believe the things that are coming out of my mouth when I'm like going like this in a book and I'm just learning and I'm coming into exactly the clarity that started the company when I started the community. And that is really

solving all of what makes a woman's life her life in this. And beauty is a big piece of it. Body care is a big piece of it. You know, there's scent is a big piece of it. There's so many things that do give us joy that I used to think of as luxuries or take for granted right I mean we take for granted all of that stuff we're frivolous to spend time on now my time a lot of it gets spent on just me so the company is called to commence and the the community is the commence community and they keep growing well on that note I think we should give some advice to callers Catherine do we have time for a couple of calls? We have time for probably like one. Okay, great. Let's do it. Let's do it. Okay. So we have caller DD. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 28 year old married

mother of two and I've always been close with my own mother. Don't get me wrong. She was a good mom, but I probably could have used a mother more than a friend sometimes when growing up. Nowadays, we do a lot together. She comes over almost every Saturday to watch football and drink beer. We go out and we even went to Chelsea's show in Atlanta a couple years back. But since she hit menopause and started hormone replacement therapy. She is like a cat in heat. She's always been one to look good and presentable. She's a beautiful woman and is no stranger to male attention. She was always cool and confident, not a tryhard. Now it seems like she needs every male's attention and females too. She overanalyzes every outfit and photo she's in and will ruin a

whole outing with her mood if she feels she doesn't look amazing. She also drinks to excess and sometimes makes a fool of herself. If she isn't drunk, she's irritable. I have two young kids. All their grandparents are dead besides her. I thought she might enjoy stepping into her grandmother role and being there for me in ways she wasn't when I was a teen, but she's proving to me that all she cares about is happy hour with meaningless acquaintances. She's 51 and has never had a successful romantic relationship. She doesn't think she should have to answer for any of her bad behavior and brushes it under the rug or plays a victim when I call it out. We don't have the best history with communication, but for the past few years, I've really worked on myself

and how I handle my relationships, and I wish she could do the same. How do I tell my mom she's letting me down without the message being completely lost? I'd love to hear from you, ladies. Signed, Disappointed Daughter. Hi, Disappointed Daughter. Hi. Hi. This is our special guest today, Brooke Shields. Hi. So nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. She's a mother of two daughters, so I'm sure she can relate to some degree to this. Well, that's really tough. It's really hard when your mom is embarrassing. But all moms are embarrassing. Yes, this is true. All parents are embarrassing. I got earful last night. You're annoying. You're just annoying. I know. And we've been through all that. I don't want to be mean to her by any means, but.

No. And I don't think judgment from your children is how that this this kind of phase of her life is how she's going to either snap out of it or grow up a little. I don't think it's going to come from you because it's really hard, Brooke, I would imagine, to take criticism from your children and judgment. And for the most part, that's sort of their job. I mean, I have 18 and 21 and they're not moms yet, but they also, they are, one in particular is full of judgment and it's constant. And her version of it is she knows she needs to individuate for me and she doesn't know how to do it. So she fights me to hate me and then it can justify her leaving. Um, but I feel like as the age your mom is, I think she's scared. I think she's feeling that about herself. She's watching you. I don't know how old your baby is, but as you watch your daughter sort of launch pad into this vibrant area of their lives and your ovaries and everything is going to work for and you are watching your what you think is your demise right it's it's very unsettling to see and to see the beauty in your daughter and then to look in the mirror and not see the same thing and then you step outside and the world attacks you for being 50 for you know

you're over the hill you're this you're not represented you're either this 20 year old girl at the bar or you're in Depends and Dentures. That's what they have relegated us to. And I think that it's, I don't know. I mean, again, I don't give advice, but what I will say is that the times that my mom, my children, because I've, my mom was in a very different broken place and she was older, but the times that as a mom, I have been with my girls and they've looked at me and led with just love and said, I know it must be hard mom, but I think you're beautiful. Or they've said, mom, I think that you should like, don't, don't put yourself down. Like you taught me to love myself. You've got to, you taught me how to be, be like this. The problem is if she's so

resistant, I mean, she has to do the work on herself because nothing you say that's positive is going to make her like herself. No, but I do think positivity goes a long way in helping people face themselves like judgment doesn't do you know you just create resistance you create like oh I'm going to rebel against you and even though you are in more of the mother role like you guys kind of sounds like you're you have flipped your roles and and you are a mother and I'm assuming you're responsible and she's seeing that I think everything Brooke said is spot on like I think you have to really look at her with some compassion and understanding of what she might be going through. And instead of the judgment, I have a friend who's dealing with this with their mother,

very similar circumstances. And she really did just flip the script. She's like, no, I'm just going to go at her with compassion and love and tell her about all the wonderful things about her until she really starts to believe them herself. And when she does start to believe them herself, she is going to be a little bit different. And there are different ways, you know, you can do that too with books and hopefully encouraging her to, you know, do some therapy. Maybe you can volunteer to do some therapy with her just just to push her and to get like not because something is wrong, but to push her to really find out what her purpose is. Right. Like to experience this life in the best way she's in now in her 50s. This is a whole new opportunity to have a whole new life.

You know, I look at 50s kind of like a reset. Yeah. And that's kind of how I saw it. i was like why is she spending so much time worrying about validation from others and or how she looks and this and that when it's like this could be such a big beautiful awakening time but yeah she's not feeling it herself yeah nailed you nailed it with what you said brooke and she has been kind of like i started reading more again and she was like oh like she asked me recently kind of what's do i have a recommendation or whatever and i was like oh so she is kind of I noticed kind of picking up on, you know, just kind of, if you want, I'm kind of being the

example, you know, like how many people do I need to be an example for, but if that's what I need to do to get my mom to see her full potential and beauty and everything, then I'm absolutely willing to. And you're thankful for, I mean, what I've said worked for me is whenever my daughters will say something like, well, mom, you know, I got that from you. It doesn't give me anything to fight against because I love what I see in her. And then she's attributing it to, mom, you know, that's what you, you should, I want you to feel what I feel. And, and I wouldn't be able to feel these things had you not taught me to, that I could feel this good about myself or, and even in therapy, you have to be really careful because it should be like, I would love

this for me. And then, you know, otherwise they feel attacked and it's like a, you know, like an intervention and you're there to tell them everything they're doing wrong. And the flipping of it is so, I tell my younger daughter, no tug of war only works if both people are pulling. Right. And so you don't, you don't do it. And you lead with this kind of kindness because they're not hearing any of that kindness reflected back to them. When they look in the mirror, they're seeing just what they're not. They're not this enough. They're not young enough. They're not thin enough. They're not that enough. They have too many wrinkles. And the tapes just keep going. And the more you're reflected to her as in like, wow, mom, this, you know, but this is,

I learned so much and I got this and, and it's so much fun. And why don't we start our own little book club? And do you know, and then you can talk about characters and then you're not talking about yourself. Like there's, there's ways. Start with Brooke's book. This is a great book for you and your mother to read together that's about aging and it's funny and and yeah it's about her relationship with her daughters and how she's stepping into her own confidence over the course of her life at different ages and and kind of the various bursts of self-empowerment that women receive and experience this is a great thing start reading books with your mom and start finding books that are actually going to have like an impact on her perspective and her value you know

she doesn't feel valuable right now right now and you're gone that was my next question is if you have any book recommendations so that's that's perfect there are lots of others too oh well i was planning on reading yours anyway i'm excited okay well i mean i just thank you we just had mel robbins on the podcast she wrote a book called let them which is really about letting other people do their shit and stop trying to control other people and let letting them which is good for you and good for your mother because yeah you could read it together i don't want you to think like oh this is such an onus on me you already have to take care of your children and now you have to take care of your mother listen we're given as much as we can handle clearly your mom

like you're more in a more capable position right now in this moment in time than your mother is so take that responsibility on with joy that is a great gift that you're able to give to your mother not a burden don't look at it like that because you'll resent right you don't want to resent your mother you want to help your mother you want her to flourish so think of some other activities that you guys can do together that don't involve happy hour or don't involve going to a bar. You know, maybe you do join an actual book club. Maybe you find some other activities where she can like meet people or it's a social environment, but it's not all about the drinking and just hanging out and doing nothing, you know? And like a lot of drinking is about avoidance. I mean,

it's just it's pretty, pretty obvious and clear. And she feels sexier when she's drinking. And, You know, she comes out of her shell and she becomes that image of what she used to be, you know, and who she is, is not just enough. It's beautiful. She's got to know, she's got to feel that love for her own actual self. And I think it's a very fraught period of, she's threatened right now that her value is just being diminished. Yeah, all I want for her is to see that for herself, see her how I see her and see her full potential. So thank you guys. That was awesome advice. Oh, good, good. I'm so glad you called in. Me too. Have a great holiday too. You too.

Thanks, Stacey. Happy holidays. Okay, we're going to take a break and we'll be right back to wrap up with Brooke Shields. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite?

Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these

are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society,

the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters,

then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita,

we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita,

trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita. On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Brooke Shields. Okay, so how do people find Commence? If you just look up Shop Commence, all lowercase, shopcommence.com, C-O-M-M-E-N-C-E. And it's all about really the new beginnings and beginnings of this era and being as joyful and healthy and just in our lives and proud of who we are.

and are you still doing the groups too if people want to join in on the groups yeah yeah yeah i want to bring books into it as well and really have it be the a world of care i love it i love it and brooke's new book is uh brooke shields is not allowed to get old thoughts on aging as a woman it is out it'll probably be out as soon as you hear this podcast i'm sure by the time we put this out it will be available at all places all bookstores and i was going to say wherever you listen to your podcast. And then I'm like, this is a book and this is not a podcast. Well, no. And in my, my podcast didn't get renewed. So, so I don't have that on my plate, which is fine. But I went into the audio recording of the book. So the book is also on

Audible and audio and it's all me. Okay. Well, it was, you want to listen to me anymore? We do. We do. We always want to listen to you, Brooke. I totally appreciate your time today. Thank you so much. Congrats on everything. Please say hello to your lovely husband, Chris Hensche for me. I will. I will. I will. You look like you're in a cozy place. I wish I was there. I am. I'm in my happy place now. Yes. Have a great day. Okay. Thank you. You too. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com and be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check

out our merch at chelseahandler.com i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor files with elizabeth smart on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by kristin bell josh gad and adina menzel i auditioned for frozen what for kristoff they said okay what are you going to

be singing today i said i don't know that must have been why you didn't get it oh you probably Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements.

We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots

that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B.

I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.