Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Call Her Daddy with Alex Cooper

Episode Date: January 19, 2023

Alex Cooper of the Call Her Daddy podcast joins Chelsea this week to talk about why keeping things offline with her boyfriend of two years has kept her relationship healthy, how her family keeps her grounded, and why staying in your lane is a thing of the past. Then: A college girl gets the ick when her boyfriend calls her Mommy.  A committed girlfriend struggles with her boyfriend’s overblown sex drive.  And a snooping partner discovers evidence of escorts - and it has her rethinking her relationship. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy.

Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Katherine. Hello, Chelsea. We're together. Oh my God, it's Los Angeles. I know.

It's raining and the whole, everything is sliding down the hill. I love the fucking rain and I know it's not safe but I fucking love when it rains I love it too but like this fourth week I was like I'm a little over it I'm a little done with this I'm not but I understand it's not good for Californians

and that people are in obviously serious dangerous situations so I obviously don't love the rain and if I had to choose to have the rain or not have the rain I would have to choose to not have the rain but then we're in a drought Chelsea I know but I just enjoy the sound of the pitter patter

and I just, it's so much moodier and it's like cozy. I love it so much. It makes me, I just, you know. Anyway, hi, what's happening? What's new? Oh my gosh, well, we got to see all of the gals from Mallorca that we went to.

Oh my God, right, right. Yeah, we went to Mallorca with. I couldn't go. When was it? It was Friday. Well, I had the Critics' Choice Award so we had rehearsals Friday for that. Were you so excited?

How did that go? Oh my God, so much fun. It was amazing. I loved it. I love dressing up like a little Barbie doll. Ah, you in that red dress is everything. Yeah, it was actually hot pink. It was like the color of your hair.

Well, parts of the color of your hair, like this little strand up here. Yes. Yeah, it was really fun. We had such a good time, my writers and I, that helped write the monologue. Amazing. And everybody there. And then we went out after. And yeah, it was really fun.

I had a great night. I'm so happy. It was fun to do, actually. Good, good. Yeah, usually I don't like to do things like that because I'm like, oh, it's going to be a pain in the ass. plus it was interrupting my you know christmas right my ski but you know i just have understood that i'm i'm gonna have to not i'm gonna have to say yes to work when i you know yeah when it's snowing i have to learn how to not take four months off yeah maybe well we'll send you back

right yeah yeah i'm going back pretty quick i'm actually marrying my makeup artist from new york Mia, I'm marrying her tomorrow. To someone else. So to her fiance. And I am the officiant for their wedding. Good. She's like, and I'm not sure how that happened exactly. But she told me this weekend, last week I was in New York doing some press.

She told me that she assumed that I have married a bunch of people already. And I looked at her and my sister was with us at dinner, Shoshana. And we both looked at her and thought, have you been listening to anything I've ever said? Why would you think that I marry a lot of people? You know, I can kind of see it as an extension of like you get a lot of gay couples engaged at your shows and things. Right. Yeah. But like this is a bigger level of responsibility.

So Casey, who is an assistant, he got me officiated online. Amazing. And now I'm an officiant. I can marry people. So please don't put in requests because it's not happening. I'm not doing this again. This is a one-off. Oh, my gosh.

Are you a reverend? I don't know. I'm an officiant. I'm an officiant. Yes, I'm a shaman. I'm a gynecologist. I'm a shaman. I'm a reverend.

A reverend is good. That's kind of like my speed. Great. I mean, I'm just fucking preaching gospel basically all the time, right? Yes. So many gospels. So, Chelsea, we recorded this episode with our very fantastic guest a couple of weeks ago. and you were a little under the weather.

So just so people know, that's why your voice sounds a little different. Before I introduce our guest today, I want to say that I was on a plane. I was flying back from Boston and I smoked a lot of pot because I was tending to my sister who had surgery and I was being a nurse

and that was stressful for Chelsea. So she smoked a lot of pot and then I have a very sensitive throat. So I started coughing and I was like, okay, forget it. Then I had shows on the East Coast. I got on the plane Monday on JetBlue Thank God I had my own little cubbyhole area because I deteriorated on that plane ride

like I had full-blown AIDS. I mean, I was shivering. My back was thumping. I was like hacking up a storm. Of course, I had a mask on because I'm not a Republican. And I just was like, oh my God, they may have to ground the plane and take me straight to the emergency room in Dubois

or wherever we were flying over. And I got off the plane, went straight. my driver drove me straight to my doctor's office. He goes, don't come inside. Meet me in the alleyway because he's like, I have to test you for RSV, COVID and the flu that's going around. I'm like, I had the flu shot. He goes, it doesn't matter. Everyone's got it. Anyway, I ended up having the flu. I'm on my fifth day of antibiotics, so I'm no longer infectious, which is upsetting for me because I wanted to give you something when you got here. Well, I have something, so I'm going to give it to you. Okay. What do you have? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I actually got

COVID for the first time the other week. Oh, you did? Was that after I saw you at that party? Yeah. Yeah. I got it from you. You got it from that party. After you gave me the mushrooms. No, your friend gave me the mushrooms. Oh, yeah. She gave my boyfriend the mushrooms. Okay. This is Alexandra Cooper, everybody. Okay. You know her from Call Her Daddy, which is the number one podcast in all of the globe. Okay. It's probably more popular than Joe Rogan's podcast. I need to hang out with you more. And she put herself on the map in a major major way because you know what's so funny the first time I met Alexandra I didn't know who the fuck she was and she let me know it yeah well my publicists were like you have

to go do Alexandra Cooper's podcast it's the biggest podcast in the world she just got this huge podcast deal blah blah blah blah I go sure whatever and I go to her house and the whole time she's like do you even know who I am I'm like well I mean no but stop saying that like I can't lie I'm not going to pretend. I was like the awkward girl who was like fangirling that Chelsea Handler was in my house. And I was stoned. I had my sunglasses on. I was like, listen, girl, we don't have time for this fangirl.

Like, let's get down to business. And then throughout the hour, I was like, oh, okay, I can see why this girl is popular and she's fun. And then I've been able to watch your success and run into you a few times. And I do really like you. Thank you. Thank you. I like you, too. You're in a very, very solid relationship.

you said the other night when I saw you at the Amphar event for two years right? It's shocking I'm so proud of myself. I'm proud of you. It's been good because the toxicity was running through my veins in college and out of college and in New York City like I was just trying to ruin guys lives and then I got over it and I was like toxic is now actually boring to me because it's the same thing every time and then I found healthy and it's good. And how did you find that? I found that because I feel like I was just ready like I wouldn't have been ready if it I wouldn't have found healthy if I wasn't healthy I got into fucking therapy well there's the answer for all of us right yeah sometimes you don't want to be in therapy because you're like I want to keep

spiraling like this is better for content this is better just for me in general to keep living in the dark and then I woke up and I was like all right I guess it's time 28 I figure it out well that's good I mean listen I didn't figure my shit out until I was like 40 but I I think when you're an artist or a creative, you think all the bad shit is helpful for your material. Like I remember doing standup and anytime I broke up with somebody is when I was just crushing it because I could just go off on that relationship. And then you've come to a point where you're like, well, no one's going to date me anymore. And then you're like, but who gives a fuck? Cause I don't want to date anybody anyway. But then, you know, you come to grips with the idea that like, it's so exhausting

to be in something that requires so much energy you know like yeah you don't need drama or bad shit or toxicity in your life to create good stuff you can do that it's like when fat comedians lose weight and they're like well are they still going to be funny you're like what right what are you talking about right like that's their only bit like you're like you got funny because you're fat that's not the way it works anyway so tell us a little bit about your for lack of a better word journey into podcasting into the situation that you're in like how did everything start to happen for you excuse me oh my god I just got the flu and COVID at the same time Chelsea just looked me dead in the eyes we made eye contact and she just burped a cough you guys I have to be completely

honest I'm wearing a maxi shield right now because I cough this cough I have is so bad that I said to my housekeeper and we only speak Spanish I'm like tenemos maxi shield no you know what she sounds like it's when you have like a cough coming and you're holding your breath in your throat and you're trying to talk it's been since i walked into the room so why don't i just podcast you sit over there you just take a little break have you ever worn a maxi pad yeah i have i haven't and i fuck is it's fucking disgusting and every time i was out i was getting my color done last night and i coughed so hard and then i got out i was like is that urine dripping down my leg and i got up luckily they're two gay men so i didn't have to be ashamed and i said you

guys i need you to get me on my pee coat because i can't walk out of the salon like this because i've urinated all over myself and they both looked at each other got my coat and didn't even say goodbye to me they were both like fuck off get out of here but so now because of this crazy cough i have to wear a maxi shield because a urine is just gonna come out a maxi shield yeah it's shielding the rest of the world from my urine i wouldn't judge you but like behind your back i would yeah i'm judging me in front of us both of us at least you're not shitting your pants well that sounds like it's next by the way did you hear that putin shat his pants i mean putin fell down the stairs good for you you fucking asshole and then shat his pants no yes i love so good i love stories

about people shitting their pants especially that guy it's great okay so back to you the journey the journey yeah so i mean it's it's i can keep it quick it was i was out of college i was on unemployment checks trying to figure out which college did you go to boston university oh i was just in boston boston's my favorite city i love it it was so good for college too yeah i feel like new york you think you would want to go there and then you're like well i don't want to be in college in new york city like what the fuck so boston was perfect because i had all of the colleges and then that's where the professional athletes came in because they were like all in the city and it was great it was just a perfect opportunity for me to really thrive but i got

out of college and I had this like awful job I was in sales and it was for a magazine and print is fucking dying so my boss is always like why can't you sell shit I'm like because who the fuck wants to buy an advertisement in a magazine like bitch this is dinosaur ages so I was really unamused by my job miserable and I was just typing up scripts every day like wanted to start a YouTube channel want to do something in the creative field my dad's in sports television I majored in film and television and then I'm at a fucking ad agency but that's usually how it goes was like you got to get a job you hate and finally I got fired and it was incredible everyone was crying the day we all got laid off and I was like crying tears of happiness just because I hated my

job so much but I didn't have the balls to leave because I couldn't financially just be like I'm gonna leave and go like I don't come from a trust fund like I had to have a fucking job so I'm on unemployment checks and I was gonna start a YouTube channel for my in Boston in in New York now I'm living in New York and then I wanted to start a YouTube channel call her daddy was now an idea and i was going to do it as a youtube channel and then some people were like you should do a podcast it's not oversaturated like youtube right now especially with the way you fucking talk i mean listen to this i never shut the fuck up i mean you should have been born with a fucking podcast i literally came out of the womb and like i i should have had a microphone in

front of me because i can never stop talking my mother's always like shut the fuck up let your other siblings speak absolutely not so then i just started the podcast and i had really no plan like there was no business plan i didn't know anything about the industry and after the first episode was uploaded dave portnoy from barstool dm'd me and was like what is this thing like what is going on here like who made this promo and i was like oh i edited it together like i edited it myself i went to film school and then i went in for a meeting dave portnoy signed me and the show went like number one on episode four wow and it was wild and it was like very aggressive start where i wasn't prepared almost for the success I understand I'm so lucky sometimes you have to work at something

for a very long time for me it like we it was uploaded and then it was like what the fuck do I do now there was no plan there was no vision and so it was kind of like a makeshift moment where every week was just like trying to come up with a new episode and a new concept and and then it just got big and then I left Barstool took my IP and went to Spotify it was pretty wild and what how long has that been so I have a three-year deal with Spotify and I'm halfway into my second year so it's been pretty wild and it's been like a pretty amazing experience and do you have any interest in like having a talk show oh I don't even know what like it's quite crazy because if you asked me I never thought I'd be a podcaster like I didn't know that was even a fucking thing

back in the day it'd be like my dad's hobby was to like listen to podcasts and now I'm a podcaster and so I don't know like I don't know if it'd be a talk show I don't know if it's going to continue I think I'm just making my show what I want it to be like I'm doing video now that's not a podcast technically but it is because I want it to be like I'm very stimulated by the visual aspect audio was never like my passion but it is how I got obviously well it's kind of funny because it all fucking turns into the same thing anyway you know like podcasting was supposed to be so it wasn't on the air and then all of a sudden you're watching podcasts on YouTube and you're watching them. And now it's a TV show. And you're like, it's like all of media, you know, all these

streaming platforms are basically turning back into the three major networks because they're all amalgamating. You know, Disney buys this, Warner buys this, blah, blah, blah, blah, Viacom buys this. And we're basically getting right back to where we started. So we have all these streaming platforms that are now going to put commercials back on. So they're back to NBC, ABC and CBS. Like it's all really stupid. It's like cell phones came out. They were really small. Then they got really big and then they got small and now they're like what the fuck you know i'm just waiting for them to like come up with bundles of streaming services and then it's just cable absolutely you're right right it's a great point so tell us about and then now you're in a normal relationship

i find that hard to believe it's it's uh it's very hard to believe and i know people on the internet would shit talk me like he doesn't exist it's not i met him i met him he exists he exists thank you yeah it's really wild I think that the reason it's so normal is because I actually don't fucking know I need to like think about this answer I guess it's normal because he's very normal he grew up in LA he's very unaffected by just all of it because he grew up around it and he like has no interest in it he's in the industry but he's very private so we keep things offline which I think is nice because my relationship is not predicated on what other people think about us and i'm not like making decisions because i'm seeing comments or i'm not using it to monetize

my business it's a real relationship and so if i don't like him i don't like him or if i like him i like him it's not going to be based off of something i see on social media and i don't even give a shit if you have a platform like when people have a hundred followers and you're posting your partner it is affected you know what i mean like or how many comments do we get we didn't get into many likes on that like people are saying he's so hot are they gonna dm him or he's so ugly Should I dump him? There's too much stimulation going on. And so I think the crux of why it's healthy is because it's as normal as I could humanly possibly make it. And the only people that are influencing my relationship is me and him. I like that. And what would you say? I mean,

I'm going to ask you probably a hard question to answer, but I think you probably can because you seem to have a good, strong sense of yourself, which I think is really admirable. And I wish all women would have, especially in their 20s. What would you accredit your success and value in this podcast space what are your attributes that have gotten you here and why do you think you're so good at it oh thank you first of all I mean I think I feel like I was very fortunate to be raised with a pretty like normal stable family which I recognize that makes me like not normal because most people's everyone's family shit is family shit but my parents were so obsessed with making sure I was grounded like I think they knew I wanted to be in entertainment my whole life and

they kept being like no you're gonna go to college no we're not gonna go to auditions for you to be an actress like no so they were making sure that I was not getting ahead of myself and that I was like focusing on what mattered which was in their minds like education and having a normal life and being a good person and making me go to church every fucking Sunday and it was just a very I grew up in Pennsylvania and so I feel like my parents instilled the values of just like not getting affected by all the bullshit because they didn't let me do certain things when I wanted to do it on top of that I think sports honestly was like a huge help towards me having this drive and grit and tenacity and also like the amount of people that say shit about me on the internet

I don't know why it doesn't affect me as much as maybe it would other creators I think because of the absolute annihilation I received at playing division one soccer it was like the hardest thing I've ever done in my life and getting basically like verbally abused every single day by a coach and teammates and the whole thing like it just made me a very strong person so I when I came into this industry I'm very passionate about what I do I think is like why I'm able to stay grounded I'm not doing it for wrong reasons I'm not doing it for fame and money like I'm driven by the fact that like I've been obsessed with creating since such a young age and then just having support from my family and like them literally hip checking me every day of like no you sound fucking insane

like know that you're being a brat and I'm like I am so I I'm fortunate I I credit it really to my family so you grew up in Pennsylvania and how many siblings do you have two I'm the youngest okay I'm the youngest too do you have a boy and a girl yep okay oldest sister and then middle brother and I also like that because you made an announcement last year you were talking about becoming more politically active and taking a stand for things that you believe in and I think with somebody with the size platform you have I think the thing that kind of bugs me is when people young people don't don't do that. It irks me because we you know, you have so much influence and so much power. So I just love that you're standing up for things. And you know, for human

rights and for basic things that we should all be standing up for. And it's not necessarily political to stand up for human rights. It's kind of necessary. So that's also another great thing. So on this podcast, we give advice to real people who call in a little bit about I'm excited. I love giving advice yeah so do I I fucking can't get enough of it I'm just like I overheard a conversation the other day I'm like can I just chime in here okay I was like you're not making any sense right now and you're not helping her I'll help you and you get out of this conversation I was at the airport lounge incredible I know well we'll take a quick break and we'll be right back with Alex cooper and chelsea the jonas brothers are running it back we live the burning up tour and celebrate

the biggest jonas brother hits that have defined a generation one incredible celebration one unforgettable night see the jonas brothers live at rbc amphitheater september 28th Get tickets now at Ticketmaster.ca. Jonas Brothers, the burn it up tour all over again. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.

Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. but these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives,

and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.

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Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back! Great.

Well, our first email comes from Bella. She's 18. She's a student. The subject line is, please help, he calls me mom and can't get it up. Dear Chelsea, I'm 18 and in college and going out with this cool guy. For now, things aren't that serious, but we do drop the L-bomb here and there. My problem is, sometimes he says, I love you, mom, or just accidentally calls me mom. What the hell am I supposed to think about that?

I know it's subconscious and he can't help it, but it weirds me out. He has a really close relationship with his mom after his parents got divorced, but the fact that he calls his partner that on accident is strange, right? First of all, it's by accident. It's not on accident. Stop saying that, everybody. Things happen by accident. Nothing is on an accident.

Or am I overreacting, she says. Am I overreacting? Yes, it's a fucking bad grammar. I fucking can't take it. In addition, he also has this problem with getting it up, and he's 18 too. I don't judge him, and I've always made it clear that when it's us, he's safe and in a safe space, but he seems young to be facing this type of issue, right? I can't help but overthink it. He smokes a shit ton of weed on a daily basis, so maybe that's a contributor, but this entire situation makes me feel unattractive, even though all my friends tell me it's not my fault.

Kindly, Bella. Would you like to take this from the top? I'll take this. Number one, you're 18 years old, and all I heard was you feel unattractive, and this guy is calling you his mom. Get the fuck out. I don't, I feel like when you're at that point in your life, if there's any doubt in your mind that something's off, leave. You're too young.

You've too much to do. You've so many opportunities. It's so fucking weird. He's calling you his mom. Sorry to anyone that refers to their partner as their mother. He either wants to fuck his mom. There's something weird that went on. Like, I don't know.

I just don't think that's for you to uncover. I think it's time for you to pack your stuff, find someone that makes you feel attractive and don't be called someone's mom when you're trying to fuck them. And unfortunately, you can't even fuck him because he can't get hard. We don't even need to judge him on that. But you want to have some good sex in college. Like, let's find someone that can fuck and doesn't refer to you as mommy. Yeah, there's plenty of guys you can fuck that won't get it up, that won't call you mom.

You know, I mean, first of all, Bella, get out of there. This is a waste of your time. This is your prime, prime learning to have sex time in your life. This is where you lay the foundation of what you like, what you don't like, and you don't like this. He's not getting it up. Calling your mom is fucking weird, and you just, exactly what Alexander, you just said that you don't feel attractive. That's it.

You're done. Done. Goodbye. Bye. Find somebody who makes you feel hot. Yes. And that can fuck you. Yes.

I remember being a kid, and like once a year I would accidentally call a teacher mom. That ended in sixth grade. He shouldn't be 18 and still calling his girlfriend. But a teacher is different because they're an authoritative figure. They're helping you learn. They're giving you an education. Although teachers, whatever. The point is, is your teacher's not fucking you, hopefully.

And I do feel as though there's nothing beneficial in this relationship. You're not getting fucked and you're his mommy. You're not a mom yet. You know what I mean? Those days may come at one point. Like leave them for later on. And for your children. Yeah.

And it's not your job to fix him. No, no, no, no. Learn. Yeah. Nip that in the bud. Because listen, if you don't learn this lesson now, unfortunately, you'll have to learn it over and over again. So let this be the first and the last time.

Yes. Well, our next question comes from Rochelle, who is maybe one of the most angelic, sweet people I've ever talked to. She's 22, and she has kind of the opposite question. Dear Chelsea, I hope all is well. I'm here reaching out for advice on my boyfriend and I's sex life. My boyfriend and my sex life. My boyfriend and my sex life. Yes.

We're both 22 years old and have been together for four years now. Last year we lived together in Philly for over a year. It was amazing. We both moved back home to our parents so we could save some money and eventually move to a better location. We live a couple hours apart. Our dilemma has been how horny he often gets and the many times a day he attempts to initiate sex.

Yes, I'm aware this is not the worst problem to have. I've enjoyed our time apart because of this. I want so badly to live with him, but the thought of once again being asked for sex every day infuriates me. It makes me feel like I'm just a bunch of holes. I thought his sex drive would lower after some time, but it's been four years. We're planning our life together, and sometimes all I can dream about is the happiness I'll feel when we get old and he gets ED. We spoke to a therapist about this a couple months ago, and she mentioned giving me space to initiate it myself.

However, I've found that my sex drive seems to be much lower, and he does not have the patience to wait for me to initiate. This makes me feel like a shitty girlfriend for not wanting sex as much as he does, but I also feel like I'm dealing with a desperate 16-year-old. This is our biggest issue in our relationship. We've communicated so much and tried so many different things. It's the only thing that makes me wonder if we should actually be together and pursue a life with one another. If we got married someday, isn't this something that could kill a marriage?

Thank you for reading, Rachelle. Okay, first of all, can he go fuck Bella? because Bella needs to get fucked and this guy's got extra juice going, right? This is great for Bella. We had a previous caller before you and her boyfriend can't get it up and calls her mom.

So maybe we could just do a swap. I think that could solve the problem. Wait, is this the person who was just asking the question? Yes, this is Rasha. Who do you think this is? This is my mother. I've never been on this show

and you didn't explain the format, you little bitches. Mother Cooper. Hi. Hi, ladies. It's a pleasure to meet you all. Oh my gosh. How cute is that?

I'm so sorry for your predicament. Thank you. Do you want some advice? Yeah. Should I go first? Go for it. Okay. So I think this is the classic, which I think is like, this will make you feel better.

No one has the same sex drive in a relationship. And this is like a very common issue where two people are on a different page with their sex life. The issue is the person that wants sex more is made to feel like the needy one is made to feel like I want you all the time and feels rejected because the person that doesn't have as high as a sex drive is rejecting them you however are like my vagina is gonna fall off if we have sex one more goddamn time please go jack off in the bathroom so i think it all comes down in my opinion to communication i don't feel like you should be having sex in moments that you're

not turned on and you're not in the mood and you're just doing it to appease him but i also understand on his is his point of view is like i'm attracted to my partner i want to have sex with my girlfriend. So I would actually set a time. It's not after sex. It's not before sex. It's at dinner. It's at breakfast. It's at lunch. And you actually have a sit down conversation and you start with a compliment of how much you appreciate the relationship you have and all the things you love about it. But then with regard to your sex life, you come from the point of view of saying, Hey, I'm really struggling because when we have sex, I love it. I'm having great sex with you like there is no denying the dick game's great but i think that for me there's just

certain things where i'm maybe not in the mood and you are and i want to just find a happy medium so that you feel satisfied and i feel satisfied because it's not fair to you and if your partner is like i can't do that i'm sorry then maybe this is someone that has a lack of respect in a greater aspect that's outside of the bedroom that's a problem if you're telling your partner that you're not enjoying something and they want to continue to do it that's selfish so hopefully your partner's like okay babe how can we work on this and it's almost like you start like a regimen of every time that we want to have sex i get to initiate once a week and you get to initiate once a week and like let's start with that and then go from there but i think it's actually like building

in which sounds kind of corny but almost a communication that allows you to tell him how you're feeling and then tell him you don't get the opportunity to initiate because he's always fucking a horny little dog so on weekends we're not having sex unless i initiate it and then hopefully you get in the mood and you're like wait what so it's like you can pick two days a week we're gonna have sex during the week but on the weekends it's my time or like come up with a rhythm i i don't know i like that idea because i understand i can totally relate to being felt like you're being attacked all the time sexually when a guy's on you and they want to have sex all the time and you're like give me some space to come to you if I could hit on you and initiate

that would be sexier for me then constantly feel like if I take my shirt off in front of you I'm going to get pummeled I understand where you're coming from I also think Alex's advice is good and you should start with that but I think it is a big issue if you don't resolve it now because you do not want to just be spending your life avoiding your partner and avoiding sex I mean like a sex therapist someone you can sit down with and actually have an honest open conversation so that this is a more even playing field because you're just going to play the avoidance game you're going to try and be asleep before he gets in the room you're going to do all of the things PJs yeah exactly and I agree with you Chelsea because I feel like what happens is you're going

to start to resent him for something that could actually be managed and so I think what it really comes down to is you need to figure out how many times a week would you want to have sex and then you need to go from there of like if you number one are enjoying your sex life that's great also you don't have to tell us but like if you're not that's also another whole thing when you're having sex if he's actually pleasuring you also how is the sex like is he doing any foreplay are you having an orgasm when you're actually having sex like is it just about him going to pound town and then like splooging in four seconds and you're like well that wasn't fun like i think you need to look inward and figure out what ways are you being pleasured in the actual moment? And also,

is it at all exciting? Is it like now just a chore? If it's just a chore, I agree. We got to switch it up and you have to talk to him about it. Honestly, tell him to masturbate. Like jack off four times a week. Oh, been there. Been there. His quote now is like, is this for two or for one? There was a period when I was like, hey, if you feel that you need to, and I clearly am doing my thing. Just go. And he'll be like, is this for two or for one? And I actually thought that was sweet. And sometimes I'd say for two, yes, definitely have tried that for sure. It kind of worked for a while. Okay. And do you enjoy the sex when you have it? Yes. But that's, I think that's actually what led to him maybe taking different approaches in the same evening,

let's say, because he knows that it's always the best time. And I, you know, afterwards you're so Goo Goo Gaga and I have been in the spot where I almost felt bad like why didn't I want to do this when I end up enjoying it so much but it's because prior I don't really feel that I need it you know but afterwards I'm like why wouldn't you you're in love with this man it's the best time he knows what you like I'm kind of fighting myself here and then he's like trying all these different ways I don't know I think that when you're talking about this it makes me think that you have to hold strong for yourself in moments of course maybe you're going to enjoy it in the moment but it started out with you were not in the mood you did not want to have sex and so I think

that what you can do even though it may be very unsexy like if it's a Monday you had a hard day of work whatever reason it is you should literally say babe I'm going to be honest not in the mood today not in the mood and so when he tries to pressure you and be like come on like whatever just be like hey not today maybe tomorrow so it's almost like say no and then whether you have to literally remove yourself and move to the other side of the fucking couch or the bed but i think it's it's starting with yourself and creating boundaries for yourself that will allow you then to feel better about your decision when you actually do have sex because it was on your turf right now it's all on his time and he's just kind of pushing to see if you'll you'll be down and i

think if you start saying absolutely not like not in the mood love you nothing wrong with you just not in the mood not tonight maybe tomorrow i think it will allow you to feel better that you actually stopped it instead of it being like this wish washy in between of like, maybe it'll happen tonight if I like get her in the mood enough, like just create a hard line. Yeah. And explain it to him in terms that he can understand that it's not so much fun to be chased all the time. You sometimes want to be the initiator and he's going to respect that. And he's going to like that. I mean, how sexy is it if he gives you enough space that you are the one initiating going and sitting on his lap at night and being like all over him,

like let's go he's gonna love that what if you literally do this what if you say whoever initiated last can't initiate next oh i love that and you know what i did last weekend i told him i was like hey can you if when i'm going to initiate can you just tell me like hey babe not right now can you give me a couple minutes like i wanted to feel like just because i initiated he didn't bounce and when i tell you that got me hot and bothered he was like can you wait a moment i was like ah yeah there you go okay so i think that's it it's you literally almost implement a game so it's like sorry hot and fun oh my god i'm sorry i'm getting her she has monkey pox she came in here today with monkey pox i told her do not do that and she has no respect for anybody i think

this is it i think this is it you like the game you want the chase you want to feel like you sometimes can be in control i think that's the end of it is that you have an initiating game whoever initiated last now can initiate i'm obsessed i love it i listen to father cooper you're gonna be great yeah this is good this is good one thing that i'll say as well like looking farther down the road because you know you've been with this guy for four years you love him you're looking for a future with him i don't think it's something that will destroy your marriage if you guys get married one day i've been in a long marriage we have had fluctuating like who wants it more when I used to be the one who wanted it way more than he did and I would

get super butthurt when he didn't want it when I wanted it so like I get that perspective as well but you know and it's like you're always being chased down I will say as you get closer to your 30s and he does as well you may find that like his levels come down a little bit and yours go up and you meet kind of in the middle because you know yeah there's something for you to look forward to yeah that no you guys just yeah you gave me something I look forward to and I know he even just the idea that that could be to be a potential he will love that yeah I'm like give me time don't worry yeah your 30s will be great for sex I promise that's awesome thank you oh my god thank you so much I can't wait to talk to him about you're so cute I love it bye bye bye she the

cutest person you've ever laid your eyes on yeah that was really good advice yeah that was great guys that's so perfect way to go behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or come home at all and will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from $94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent

my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart And these are the survivor files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve

the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your

podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to

a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip. I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our next caller is Sandra. Sandra Bullock. Sandra. Sandy. Can you imagine? She's usually very private. So you guys, let's keep this one under wraps. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 30-year-old female and I've been dating my 45-year-old boyfriend for almost a year. I recently found out that he has visited escorts in the not-so-distant past. I found this out because I looked at his text messages. I know this isn't a good habit, and I'm likely just looking for ways to feel betrayed, but I'm working on this with my therapist. I've looked once before

and was honest with him about it, and it definitely affected our trust with each other. Our trust has since recovered, I guess, until I chose to look again. This time, I found text messages of him making appointments to hire an escort, and I should mention this is before they were together. He was also specifically asking for certain women, so I think that it was not a one-time thing. The most recent text was seven months before we started dating. A little context. He's a divorced man who was married for 13 years and says that they would go years at a time without having sex, and this was a big factor in their separation. He also disclosed to me in the first month we were dating that he had cheated on his ex-wife with a stripper while he was really drunk.

He said he told his ex-wife right away and felt horrible and thought I should know up front. He has now been divorced for three years. But when he hired these most recent escorts, he was in and out of casual and more serious relationships, so I don't think it was out of a lack of intimacy like he'd previously felt in his marriage. He's also sober now, so he can't blame being a drunk either. Our relationship has honestly been great. So far, any hard conversation we've had has made us stronger, and he's been a loving and supportive partner. Now, I don't know what I should do with this information or even how to feel about it.

I worried that there are some fucked up power dynamics involved and why he chose to sleep with those escorts, but I also recognize it was in his past before me and I found out this information by looking through his things. Update from Sandra, her boyfriend is soon going to be visiting Thailand, so there's some time sensitivity here. Hi, Sandra. Hey. Hi, guys.

How are you? Hi, good. Good. How are you doing? Pretty good. This is a deep one. I think reading that, I feel a couple things. I think, number one, you can find some solace in the fact that everything you found predated your relationship.

I actually appreciated that you also noted that he had told his ex-wife immediately after something had happened. So it feels like the first step is that he has no issue being very open and honest in communication, even if it means he fucked up. So we're, we're already operating on a good playing field because when you have a compulsive liar or someone that's going to constantly be hiding things, that's where it gets really tricky. The issue is, is if he was doing this in his past, there's no saying that he wasn't going to be doing it now in your relationship. And the issue again, is that you found this by snooping. And so you can't be like, Hey, like I found this. I'm wondering if you're doing it to me because then he can be like, you invaded my privacy. and I have never done that with you because we're in a committed relationship. So I see why you're kind of in a pickle. I think what it comes down to is if you can't trust your partner, you have a huge issue.

And I don't know if I would personally be in a relationship where I constantly was wondering and stressing out. I've been in those relationships. So I think that if I were you, I would nip it in the butt so that you're not wasting time and you may have to throw yourself under the bus a little bit. Because wait, let me actually ask you,

how did you know he told his ex-wife? He told me. Perfect. Yeah. First month that we were dating, he immediately told me that information without me having to ask. Perfect. I did actually, because I had said in my letter that I have trouble keeping anything inside. I'm very easy to read.

He would know something was wrong. I told him two days ago that I looked through his stuff because he's currently in Thailand right now. And what did he say? He basically said, I didn't really ask all the questions that I feel like maybe I wanted to because I wasn't really sure even what my questions were because I don't know how I'm feeling about it. But he just said, yes, he had done that in the past before me. And he just wishes that I hadn't looked through his stuff and that he hopes that it doesn't change my perception of him. but i didn't ask too much more he didn't give any opinions or feelings or have you done this in previous relationships look through your partner's phone not no not i mean i i guess i had before in my last serious relationship and that's where i think a lot of these trust issues came from too he struggles with drug addiction so there was also a lot of that too where i was

trying to see like is he lying to me about currently using too so it was its whole other like monster in itself yeah but our biggest mistakes are bringing our old relationships into our new relationships because there's always going to be somebody that did something disrespectful or they lied or they cheated or whatever they did but it is your job as part of your evolutionary growth into becoming more of the person that you're meant to become is to stop those patterns. You looking through his phone has garnered you no knowledge at all because he volunteered some of this information to you. The fact that he went and got escorts, who gives a shit? He's a single guy. He's allowed to do whatever the fuck he wants. Those are sex workers.

That doesn't have any impact on your relationship. I would really beseech you to not look through your partner's phone unless you have a real fucking reason. It is a very toxic thing to do and it will completely disassemble a relationship when you do that because you're going to find something to bring up. You're going to find something. And without that trust, it's almost like you have no foundation

when you pick up someone else's phone to look through their stuff, you know, without a real reason, without something really concrete to go, wait a second, something fishy is happening here. You know, it's none of your business what's in his phone. It's not. And in order to have a real loving relationship,

there has to be respect and trust. and you have to stop doing that i i agree and i think listen you can't go back so let's just stay you went through his phone and i think clearly whether it was from your past relationship that's why you did it because you have trust issues or you also had a weird feeling about your partner now number one that's an indicator you're not in a healthy relationship if you don't trust your partner but let's say now okay you look through the phone you brought it up to him my advice would be that you have a follow-up phone call like facetime him and be like hey i've been thinking and i want to first apologize because i feel really shitty that i went through your phone

and i will admit part of that is on me and my baggage and my trust issues of i i did that in a past relationship and i found shit that i didn't want to see and so it almost like reinforced that i should look through because i'm going to find the hurt and i'm going to find out the truth that you're lying to me what I want to say is this I want this relationship to work and I want to better myself and I want to be honest with you I promise to never look through your stuff again I think all I can ask though from you because it did make me a little insecure to see what you've maybe done in the past that if you're having any type of feelings or desires or your feet like anything just talk to me because I would rather you be honest with me than me regret now trusting you and telling you

I'm not going to ever look through your stuff again and then you go and cheat so I think if we can just have an open communication but I'll be honest it made me insecure and I want to own it because I hate how I'm feeling right now and I just want to tell you that I think he'll really respect that you're owning your shit but you're also asking like hey meet me a little bit in the middle because I've got some trust issues and I want this to work but I also don't want to feel now like I'm gonna get fucked over for trusting you and hopefully if it's a good relationship he'll reassure you and be like I haven't done this because I'm in love with you and I don't need an escort right now because I'm with you and so I think hopefully you'll get the answer you

want but I will say if he doesn't give you a reassuring answer and he's like yeah sure I get like then you also have to look internally of what do you need in a relationship to feel fulfilled And maybe he doesn't have the same type of attachment styles, et cetera, to make you feel secure in a relationship. Yeah. And this guy went out of his way, you know, a month in when you guys are just getting to know each other to like spill all his shit to you. Like he was super upfront with that stuff. So like this isn't even the guy I think you need to be looking at his phone. Right. Like he's he's giving it all to you already. Something that might help shift your perspective a little bit on just like maybe feeling kind of weird about like he's hired sex workers.

Private Parts Unknown is a podcast, and they did an episode. It's two women who host it, and they did an episode where they were out of the country somewhere where it's legal, and they visited masseurs who did happy endings. They both got happy endings. They had gotten approval from their partners to do this, and it really shifted my perspective on what that experience is really like, but it might be worth a listen just to help you sort of- Give you some clarity.

Yeah. Good advice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause that's definitely, I'm happy with the direction that the call went, that it's keeping myself in check and, and looking like inward at, at the mistakes I've made in this, but that's definitely also one of the reasons I had written into is just like my general

feelings and like confusion over how I'm feeling. And I've definitely been trying to do more research into it and ask people who have maybe experienced this before and how they chose to see it. I think listen I think it really does come down to insecurity and I I can relate it's almost the same as when you see the current boyfriend you have or your partner whoever you see their ex and you're like comparing yourself and you're stressing out and oh my god am I not enough and am I as good in the bedroom all that stuff you have to find a lot of this could be fixed by you actually focusing on yourself and taking the focus off of him work on yourself are you insecure about

yourself what do you think is triggering you so much about this and that actually should give you some power back of like if you feel good if you are reading the signs correctly if you are not being shady if you're being honest in this relationship and you feel like it's being given back to you that's all you have to worry about and then your own baggage you should deal with on the side and not let it affect your new relationship yeah totally thank you all right but no more looking through his phone no more no no no no it's it's a bad habit i need to stop yeah i think i'll i'll call him probably and also i'm going to thailand with him in a week oh yeah i'm hoping yeah some good conversations there yeah good conversations give him the benefit

of the doubt and also when you operate on like a higher level of existence by not reducing yourself to going through his phone you're going to get a different energetic reaction from him as well it's not hot when somebody's paranoid that's not sexy totally yeah you got a good dude so let us know how it goes and if you have a deeper conversation with him and maybe this can lead to and maybe you can enjoy your own escort in thailand happy ending i know honestly i started like looking at i just wanted to look up profiles online yeah keep an open mind maybe you guys can throuple up yeah i'm like who's doing this and who are these people available the world is your oyster all right thanks Sandra guys bye bye bye she's gonna enjoy her happy ending massage in

Thailand I might just go to Thailand for that massage because I wouldn't mind I mean I once had a friend who told us some masseuse said Bacara went down on her and I was like what I'm like that happens to women and she's like yeah yeah all of a sudden he was just like fiddling with me and then he asked if it was okay for him to go down on me. And I was like, I want that masseur. I'm open to any sort of that kind of action during a massage. Like if you want to go down on me, I have no fucking problem with that. FYI for all the masseuses that are out here. PSA. PSA. A masseuse PSA. Well, our last question comes from A. She says, Dear Chelsea, I need your help finding the right way to exit a group chat. This chat consists of nine of my college friends. We're now in our

mid-30s. The chat started a few years ago and used to be fun, but has devolved into mostly a few people going back and forth about their own personal circumstances. What one husband did that's annoying, what one person's kid made at camp, or what kind of cosmetics someone tried out. There's never anything substantial or frankly interesting. I should add that I don't think I've been personally addressed in the chat for at least a year. Most of the banter that takes place will happen in the middle of the workday and I work full-time, so the messages are very disruptive. I muted it a long time ago, but of course when I open my messages and see there's 89 unread texts, I either feel guilty or mean by clicking open and just clear the inbox or I end

up reading the messages out of guilt and regret doing so once I've wasted my time and brain space to do so. I'm currently only close with one girl in the chat. By the way, she hates it too. I really want to leave the chat. No one will miss my presence because I barely reply as it is, but I know that by leaving it comes off as rude and mean how do I do this I don't dislike anyone and I don't want to offend anyone thanks a oh I don't know I would say I was gonna say mute them but then you have still have it in your inbox I think when you have something that's annoying you in your life and the fact that you said no one's gonna miss you leave that shit and the fact that you also had the one person that you care about also hates it the two of you leave together be

like five six seven eight press the button and get the fuck out of there i just feel like when you get to a certain point in your life especially if you're not in college and you're surrounded by like groups of people that you have to see every day if something is not making you happy and it's annoying you and it actually makes you feel worse about yourself goodbye yeah and you can also just preface it if you really want to like feel good about it being like hey guys i'm sorry i'm gonna exit this chat now i have so much work to do during the day it's become kind of a distraction just make up some bullshit if you don't want to just say so and so you know because it comes up so and so exited the group yeah from my personal experience I've exited so many groups and just

said I'm leaving now goodbye without any explanation and I have to tell you it is an onus off your back I don't want to deal with all that shit so I mean you're you should just get out of it and if you want to do it nicely do it nicely and if you want to just leave it leave it who cares yeah it's not a huge life decision just you know make your life a little bit more simpler I also think that if you're feeling this way, a lot of people in that group chat are feeling this way. The fact that it's been lingering for years and people are like, it's like dusty comments of like, hey guys, like got back from walking the kid and like me and my husband haven't

had sex in three months. Like any, like get the fuck out of here. Just, I think you should leave her. I agree. Just like leave a little note, like super busy. Wish you all the best. Like, love you guys. Yes.

Yes. Talk soon. Love you. Mean it. Bye. Yep. Yep. Yep.

This line is for work calls. Love you. Bye. Peace. That's it. And then your other friend can leave and the other six girls who are not the three girls who keep texting can leave as well. Totally, totally. Well, there you go, eh?

Is Alexandra not your full name? It is Alexandra. That would be so funny if it wasn't and I just kept calling you Alexandra. No, it is. Okay, we're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite?

Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book

talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts See you between the pages Hey, this is Hayes Davenport And Sean Clements

We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners Each week we talk to someone in show business, aka The Biz And try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head right how about we flip this around okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one

who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this state everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care

about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts and we're back all right well we're here to wrap up but alex do you have any advice you'd like from chelsea oh my gosh i actually think we can expand a little bit on i know you started chelsea lately and it was gossip and celebrities and obviously comedy and then as your career progressed you started getting vocal about things that mattered and that you cared about and I can assume that there were some people probably that were like stay in your lane bitch

just make us laugh and shut the fuck up I love how I like say that so casually I'm like that's the exact quotes that I've been getting lately how did you handle that and like did it did it do you think it affected your career in any way well when I got really political yeah I'm sure it had a negative impact on my career because people I was when when Trump got elected I just could not i was just at my i just lost it like i mean i was so angry that this country could elect such a buffoon that i couldn't deal with it and i'm sure that it did have a negative impact on my career because my manager told me you're ruining your career but i didn't care because you know i i i believe in myself and i knew that i this was more important to me that was the most paramount

thing people still say that to me today people still say oh you used to be funny before you got into politics. It's like, bitch, I have a special coming out on December 27th. And I just got nominated for a Grammy for my last special. So I'm still fucking funny. So I actually am multidimensional and I can care about a million different things at the same time. And I would challenge you to do the fucking same thing. Instead of thinking that people are here for one purpose and one purpose only, we have a multitude of things to offer and everybody's multidimensional. And whenever I see comments like that now, it just makes me want to be louder about the things negative comments about me are irrelevant they're just irrelevant I've spent too

much time in the public eye to let that affect me I'm not here for the people that don't like me I'm here for the people that do I love that because I obviously look up to you so much and I have been obviously lightly stepping into just talking about things that matter my first thing was literally human rights and everyone's like what the fuck you little slut you're getting political tell us how to fuck a dick and i'm like oh my god like relax it's so frustrating to see how angry people get when you step out of your lane and it doesn't fully bother me but it's more just frustrating to see how closed-minded people are and how unable they are to listen to something that actually will fucking affect them like the amount of women that were like why are you getting

political i'm like do you not want to have an abortion if you get don't want the baby like Like, what are we up to over here, ladies? It's also such bullshit to be like, that's your lane. Your lane is you only get to talk about sex stuff. You only get to talk about whatever. I don't like that term, your lane. No one has one lane. That's so limiting.

We're not here for one lane. Right, we're swerving. Yeah, yeah, we're swerving. Some of us are on the shoulder. Some of us are getting pulled over. You know, we have so many lanes. And that, I feel like, is limiting, too. I remember Dax and Kristen, we were talking about that.

Because Dax is like, just stay in your lane. And I could understand the validity of that because she was comparing herself to other actresses who were getting different opportunities. But at the same time, I'm like, well, no, that's limiting. None of us have one lane. We all have things to offer and let people, it's important to care about other people than yourself. And I think when you're outspoken about anything political or anything that's happening in

society, you are, I feel very responsible and like it's mandatory. I feel that way. So preach. Yeah, I just don't. Thank you. Yeah. Well, Father Cooper, you did a great job today. Thanks for having me, guys.

I mean, you are a real solid addition to this podcast. Yeah. Guys, have me back. I mean, yeah. Please. We're going to call you when we have a cancellation, and we're just going to come over to your house. Are you still living in that house that I came to visit you?

I moved. Yeah, good. I'm glad. No, you came when I had nothing. She didn't even have a parking spot. I was like, do you have a driveway? She's like, not really. I'm like, what?

I had nothing. I was mortified. and you had to sit on the couch and you couldn't get comfortable and you were wearing a dress. The whole thing. No, I have a different place now. You should come over.

You should come on Call Her Daddy. Let's do it. Let's do it. That would be so fun. Everyone loves you when you came on. It was amazing. Oh, well, this will be an even better interview

now that I know who you are. You won't show up high or you will. Fuck you. We'll get high together. We'll get high together. We should do an episode just getting high.

Yeah, let's do it. I love it. I love it. Okay. Thank you, Alex Cooper. We love you. Thank you, guys. Thanks, Catherine.

Don't forget to watch my special on Netflix, you guys. Revolution. It's a revolution. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at dearchelseepodcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartRadio. Executive produced by Nick Stumpf. Produced by Catherine Law and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert. I survived nine months in captivity.

And I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.

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