Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Confidence or Confidant?

Episode Date: September 9, 2021

In the season finale, Chelsea and Brandon discuss Chelsea’s new tour and why you should sleep with your roommates while you’re in your 20’s. A Latina filmmaker loses her confidence now that she’s in a new field. A lesbian couple wants to spill the beans about their best friend’s new crush. And a nudist channels her inner Chelsea.  *****The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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See the Jonas Brothers live at RBC Amphitheater September 28th. get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca jonas brothers the burning up tour all over again i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out.

You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, hi, everybody. Hi, everybody. This is a very exciting episode because it's our season finale of season one, which doesn't mean we're leaving you for long because we're just taking a three-week hiatus. And then I will be back. So this is our last episode of this portion of the podcast. Well, season really. It's the end of season one. And we'll be back in a few weeks with the beginning

of season two. I have to say that I had the absolute best time playing the Santa Barbara Bowl. I want to thank everyone who was there. It was such good vibes. I had tons of friends come out, and I'm just really excited about my stand-up tour. So I wanted to give you guys some more stand-up dates. If you live in Cincinnati, September 30th, I'm coming to Cincinnati. If you live there, get your tickets. I'm coming to Detroit on October 1st. October 2nd, I'm coming to Indianapolis. That's in Indiana. And then October 3rd, I will be in Grand Rapids, Michigan. so I am coming to perform Taft Theater, Fillmore, Detroit

Detroit, the Marat in Indianapolis and then Davos Performance Hall in Grand Rapids and yeah and if you don't live in one of those cities I'm probably coming to a city near you, I'm coming to Florida, there's a lot of action in Florida, I'm coming to Portland, Maine

I'm coming to Jacksonville, Miami Beach St. Petersburg, going to Arizona Reno, all of my places, anyway Look for tickets at ChelseaHandler.com, Ticketmaster, Live Nation, OnlyFans. So I am coming to you, and I hope that you guys come and see my Vaccinated and Horny Tour because it's so much fun. And I go off. It's OG Chelsea.

Okay, so we are going to supplement our weeks off with some little nuggets for you to listen to each week. and we have some follow-ups from our callers, which are always, as they say in España, increíble. So I'm very much looking forward to continuing to do this podcast for all of our loyal listeners, of which we have many. And I want to thank all you guys for listening because you've helped make this a big success.

And I am really, really looking forward to continuing on. Seguimos, as they say. I took Spanish for three years, but I still can only say about seven words because I'm such a good student. Oh, I'm reading this book about autism. What is it called? A Man's Guide.

How to Be Human. A Man's Guide to Living with Autism. How to Be Human. Yeah, A Man's Guide to Living with Autism. Oh my God, it talks about the brain and it talks about like how, you know, there were so many thousands of years where people didn't know where our brain,

like they thought our heart was the brain or like the think tank of our body or our liver. And like people didn't understand that the brain and how, you know, it was before science. So nobody could even dissect anything or there's no biology like in that way. So it's fascinating. And how like autistic like this guy sees groups of words like go get me a glass of water doesn't connect in his mind.

Go get me a glass of water like words lined up in an order don't make any sense to him. He's like, I don't I don't understand why you would even say that. So it's just interesting to see how the brain is different. It's like they're just kind of devoid of emotion, you know, which I think is a bonus. I mean, it's direct, very direct and to the point. And I was like, great, that's perfect. But this guy was like, listen, it's so hard to be in your world. Like, imagine the world is built for somebody else, everybody else but you. And you're in this world and you want to be part of it. But like, you'll never, ever be ordering off of the same menu as everybody else. And he's

like, to be a member of society, I have to put the effort forth, even though I don't feel emotional. And he goes, I understand what it means to be a member of society. And I would rather be a member of society than not be. So I have to work twice as hard to be able to communicate and express to people like, hey, I might not react the way you want because I have autism. That sounds exhausting for him. I know. I know. Yeah, totally.

Well, it's going to be changing because now they say like one in four kids is autistic. Well, I think that makes a lot of sense because, I mean, think about growing up and there was always kids that were seemed slightly off or seemed like their social cues were off. And like, you know, I remember disregarding people like that, thinking like there was something wrong with them. And it's like, obviously, now we know there's nothing wrong with them. But it's really enlightening to learn about that stuff because I didn't really understand autism. And this book is fucking awesome. OK, sweetheart, what are we doing today? What's going on?

Sweetheart, we are we're talking about something that you have an abundance of. Well, people perceive that you have an abundance of this. Breast milk? Confidence. And I would say that you are inherently confident. Would you say that, sweetheart, from personal experience? I would. I think that's something people put on me all the time.

They think I have no fear and that I'm super confident. I'm like, where did, I don't know where I left that impression. No, see, I can separate those two. I think that you have a reasonable amount of fear going into some things. Maybe it's a project or an event, but your confidence surpasses your fear. You are confident enough to accept the fear and move forward, which other people aren't. I think that's why people perceive you as being so confident that you'll go into things maybe blindly sometimes. Yeah, right.

I have the confidence in my ability to get through it and to make it a positive experience. Yes, I do. I do have that. I believe in myself. A lot of people don't have that. A lot of people have issues in so many aspects of their lives with their confidence, whether it be at work, at home, with their body. And so I think you're really, I think you're going to have a lot to say for this episode. Yes.

Well, that's what we're here for. We're here to build people up, right? We want everybody to be a little bit braver and a little bit more confident. I had to say, I was seeing a patient earlier today on the telephone. I was talking to a friend of mine who was going through something difficult with her daughter, and she really was a hot mess. And I spent about an hour on the phone with her. like her voice was shaking and and and there was such fragility in her voice that i was

i just i felt her pain so much and then by the time we got off she was a little bit stronger and a little bit calmer and i told her to do some serious deep breathing exercises and so that's an example for me of people in my life that don't have that confidence and i just i wish i could just you know you wish you could just final it into them yeah i want to get inject it with a small syringe but one of the syringes i use for my peptides in the morning and just give it to people and be like here's your confidence shot you know everyone has it in them within them they just have to tap into it but i think that you are able to give that to them in a way just by practicing what you preach that you are able to show them that confidence by doing what you say you're going

to do and by operating in a certain way like that is powerful for people to see and we've heard it because people will call in and say that that through your example they've been able to find that strength or that resilience or whatever that is, not tooting your own horn. But I do think it's important that people in our lives set those sort of examples because you really are able to kind of harness your own confidence when you see it through someone else. Well, I just did it also this morning when I was in Beverly Hills because I had to go to a dermatologist to talk about doing something to my under eye skin because it's so crepey. So there's some CO2 laser you can do. And I was over there. My aunt did that to her full face. Oh, and yeah, but it seems like that's

a big thing yeah she's it was sandblast stuff i will say the recovery time was very quick for her that's what i need to talk to you about she told me i could make the recovery time four days or two weeks i'm like that's like when you go into a drugstore and there's yeast infection cure and it's like you have a yeast infection they're like okay here's monistat seven for seven days and here's the one day it's like why the fuck would i want it to go on yeah that needs to be a quick days why wouldn't you take the fucking one off it's so stupid anyway so we'll talk about I don't know. She said I should do it to my upper eyes and lower eyes to make the skin a little bit tighter there. But that's not my bravery story. That's just me, you know, being vain. I left there and I was in Beverly Hills, which I really don't enjoy being in because it's just I only in the mornings. In the afternoons, there's just it's just too much for me. Anyway, I thought I'm so sick of looking at my purse. This is my opportunity to go to Neiman's and get a new purse because the purse is something that I can't have another person buy for me. so i and you hate shopping i fucking hate shopping i don't do it i don't want to do it

and there's nothing of interest to me about it i wish i could say it interested me just to appease some of my friends who like to talk about that sort of thing but i i can't get into it so but i said to myself i was like you can do this like you're an adult you can go there it's only 10 30 it won't be crowded like you know exactly where you go i always just go straight to the same brand that i always buy which is not worth mentioning and i go and i went in and i was like this is fine this is fine you have to go to the bathroom by the time you give them the credit card to do that transaction which for some reason takes an inordinate amount of time close to 25 minutes to ring up a fucking purse i'm not sure what and then she was rapping i was like please

i just want to put everything in my old purse in this purse and you can take this and throw it in the garbage and I hope that's what she did or maybe somebody wanted it I doubt it it was so ugly and beat up but you did it anyway that was my confidence I don't really think that applies to what we're talking about but that was I needed to have the confidence that I could go in as finish the task and accomplish the task without being annoyed that I had to go into you know well I would argue that it does align with it because it's we've talked about this as well that you have to do those little things that make you uncomfortable because it's filling your confidence bank. Okay. Well, I think my confidence bank is pretty full. So let's fill some other

people's confidence banks. All right. Well, let's start with Meg. She is 30 years old. She writes, Dear Chelsea, one of the things I love about you is how confident you come across. This is something I've always struggled with. So I've tried to become a nudist in private to try and be more confident. I know you sometimes post naked posts on social media. So I was wondering if you had any advice on if being naked could help my confidence. Lots of love, Meg. Yeah, Yeah, I think so. I think there is something to being naked. Hi, Meg. No, she's not on the phone. This is just us. Okay. It's like I still don't understand what we're doing here.

I know the other day you exited off of our Zoom that we need for this because you just. I thought that was how you said goodbye. Yeah, you just wanted to get it wrapped up. Yes, I think there is a lot of confidence that comes with nudity and also accepting your flaws, right? Because I have cellulite. I have all the things that like girls don't like to have. And then you start to look at it and you're like, well, this is kind of part of my life. I mean, I work out and I'm very vain and I'm into being fit and all of that, too. So but it's all like a nice package. And there is something very liberating about walking around nude and kind of like really loving on yourself and loving your body because it's really the only one you've got. So you may as well start to enjoy it. Right. Right. You know who does a great job with this is Lizzo.

Yes. If you see any of her posts, she really. And Ashley Graham. Yes. Yeah. I think that there needs to be more of that because this is a good practice to put in place because I think the more you see what you feel is a flaw, the more normalized it becomes. So it's not something that seems so out of place because you're clothed so often. So I guess the more you could be nude to assess and accept your body as it is, the more confident you could become.

Yes. Agreed. Absolutely. I think also we tend to fixate sometimes on portions of our body, like you have been doing with your lower ab thing popping out. We fixate on things and I certainly do the same thing. And then all of a sudden you get over it somehow. I used to fixate on this, like I have this like tiny little dimple on my arm and I was psychotic about it. I remember when I was like on Chelsea lately, like I'd be like, can you see that dimple? Can you see that dimple I still have that dimple on my arm but I don't even give a shit about it anymore because I just got over it so when you are fixated on certain things in your body it's good to try to like push through to the other side and accept it so that attention can go elsewhere towards like

positive vibes towards yourself rather than being like oh I fucking hate this part of my body it's like you're healthy you're strong and you're getting stronger if you're working towards you know getting stronger well I think part of that is also investing energy into the things that you have or the things that you can enhance so like you have an insane amount of ab strength you're just a strong woman like here we go sweetheart is jealous of my ab strength this has always been it with you i just think that if you can reapply that energy into other areas so like for me maybe my abs are never going to be what i want them to be but for whatever reason my chest grows really quickly and i guess a lot of men have trouble with that quickly too well i would like my chest to be

as big as yours so i'll keep working on that but i think also it's just reapplying that purpose and energy into something else like don't focus and i'm you know i'm saying this because i'm working on this as well don't focus on the things that your body is not doing for you focus on the things that it is doing yeah there you go problem solved thanks meg okay let's go to break for a second so that we can gather and collect ourselves and come back fuller and stronger and more voluptuous behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or come home at all and will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers

get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear

saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.

Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz,

and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman. Not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? how about we flip it on its head how about we flip the script

what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show

I would never expect I would never set expectations for something like that to happen if the universe allows for something like that to happen i am open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that no i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times

in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like They're like, oh, what's the state? Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake. Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my wife. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show

and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, what's our next submission, Brandon? Our next submission comes from Brittany Spears. Oh, we need to talk to her. Well, actually, we need to talk to like... Her dad says she has dementia. He has fucking dementia. Fuck her father.

Fuck Brittany Spears' father. Give her to her mother. If somebody's going to have a... She's going to have a conservator. Let it be her mother. Yeah, she needs a maternal caretaker. Yeah, seriously. I mean, she's got dementia.

maybe because he lobotomized her could be he probably injected her with dementia is that possible poor girl poor girl you know what i don't want to have a child but if somebody said you have to take care of britney spears i fucking would and she'd probably thrive under your wing yeah well she would get all the help she needs and she would be allowed to do what she wants when she wants and figure out a way for her to get back together with her children she doesn't even see her children there's a much different priority in place now for younger stars and their mental health like I think a lot of them are kind of forced to see therapists and forced to take time they're not workhorses like she was so it's really interesting to see the Ariana Grande's the

Demi Lovato's Taylor Swift's who I think have a better foundation for kind of a work-life balance even though they seem to be working all the time yeah I mean Justin Bieber kind of lost his way he didn't get a 5150 put on him and put in a mental hospital like this happens to guys too so sexist on top of it i would love a man in charge of a girl ah thank god he's stepping down good riddance thank you for listening well i mean i'm not part of the free britney tribe even though i i believe in the free britney tribe so thank thank god for listening period and on their behalf and on britney's behalf where were we brandon we're with britney britney is out of miami she's 23 she's on the phone her submission says dear chelsea i've always admired you because of

your confidence i'm very much the same way when it comes to my personal life i have the confidence of a 6-8 mvp nba player that's a mouthful the problem is now that i am transitioning into adulthood i realize that i don't have the same confidence in my professional life i'm currently applying for grad school for film and video production. I know it is a male-dominated profession and I shouldn't let that shake me, but it does. Any advice for a young woman going into a male-dominated industry? Thanks, Brittany. Brittany? Hi. Hi, Brittany. So tell us about how do you feel like you're lacking confidence lately as comparable to your previous life? Yeah, I think it's just a mixture of being young and having no experience in the field I want to go into and knowing that I'm a Latina woman going into this very male-dominated industry.

And so I find that a little nerve-wracking, I guess, even though in my personal life, I've always never let any of that shake me. I know I've been underestimated for being a woman, for being Latina, for being all these things. But it's never gotten to me. And I think it's also the transition of going from being a student my whole life to actually being a professional adult. And so, yeah, I think that's my main issue. And what line of work are you in? She's going to grad school for film and video production. Right. OK, well, I would say right off the bat, you're in an advantageous position right now. You're Latina. That's a good thing. That's a good thing.

Everyone is being forced to recognize Latinx people when they're interviewing for jobs in a way that they haven't been before. And that includes all the men that you're intimidated by. So they actually should be intimidated by you. So you just need to bring it because, you know what I mean? They are listening and you have an advantage to go in there and just knock their socks off. Sorry to use that expression. I sound like my father, but I couldn't think of anything better. Sometimes I sound like I'm elderly, sweetheart.

Well, you're entering that stage of life. I am transitioning into an elderly woman. But anyway, Brittany, yeah, you should have all the confidence in the world because you have to use this moment in time is unique for all marginalized communities. You have an advantage now. I know it probably I can't say that across the board because a lot of people are trying to implement that advantage. but you're going to end up at a place that is actually serious about making change in their company. And so you should use that in accompaniment with your skills, with everything that you're learning in school, like you're ready to hit a home run. So I don't know what the problem is. Yeah, I think it's a mixture of the pressure of like, yeah, all that change is happening. And now I'm being thrown in to that change and to be one of the first. Growing up, all I saw was, especially in the industry acting I never even knew there was a whole behind the scenes side of

this career and I didn't realize that till I was older and so all I knew was the Latina was the nanny the maid the gangster's girlfriend and like how I was portrayed in that industry kind of took me aback a bit and so I was like why is this something I want to go into and then I think now like I have a chance to make that difference to be the person behind the scenes to make that recognition and I think the pressure of that also might be yeah but what a great motivator you're looking at it as pressure where it's such a great boost you know what I mean it's a boost in like you're gonna set the tone yeah it's a huge responsibility but go in there and make every every Latina girl proud of you and pave the way for them to follow in your footsteps

huge opportunity here Brandon yeah well and some people can perform and thrive under pressure And I bet you're one of those people. I think so, too. I think you need to believe that you're one of those people first. So you just need to accept that for what it is. The pressure is not a bad thing. The pressure, like Chelsea said, is going to motivate you to do your best to get the representation for the community that you weren't fortunate enough to see.

Like the momentum is working in your favor right now. And I don't know exactly what you want to do, but I just want to tell you about someone that we both work with. Her name is Darling Higgins, and she is one of the most respected people in her field. she works behind the scenes she is Venezuelan she is a badass bitch and she does not take shit she's the best she does not take shit from anyone and she is the best at her job like people seek her out and you don't know her but like the example that she sets for other women in the industry that you can do anything you want to do and you can be that for someone else so that's

what you need to remember is that just because you've not seen it or you've not had it doesn't mean you're not going to be that for someone else so take that responsibility and run with it like you're going to thrive. Yes, you are going to thrive. I already know this. But the other thing is, yes, to just piggyback on what Brandon said, is that when you don't have the strength for yourself, think about the girls that are going to come behind you, you know, think about having the strength for them. And then it becomes so easy. Yeah. I mean, that makes a lot of sense. I've known this, like, I know this, like, this makes sense to me. I've always been this way as a student and as a person in my friend group and I think now I need to transfer that over to my

professional life well I think in your youth too we've talked about this everyone has a misplaced amount of confidence so now you just you just kind of have to reassess that and compartmentalize it into what you're doing now so you know that you have that confidence within you you just need to apply it as you move forward professionally like it's still there it's still in you it's inherent so don't let it fall to the wayside just because you're going into something a little bit unknown like if anything let it give you the extra boost that you need yeah you just need to calibrate your previous confidence which is more of a naive confidence right your previous confidence with all the skills that you're learning and the education that you've gotten and combine those

two things and then you have all the tools that you need to power through this and to you know emerge victorious and to set a great example along the way like it's so much to look forward to i'm excited for you oh thank you yeah please keep us posted let us know how it goes yeah for sure i'll be starting in the fall so congratulations where are you starting do you know what like what grad school you're starting yeah yeah okay well that's gonna be fun too grad school good for you congratulations thank you thank you britney all right thank you for having me Hi, Brittany. Hi.

Oh, God. I look like Nick Nolte again. Would you like to go to grad school? Yes, actually. Oh, my God. It's so funny you say that because I was driving this morning and I was like, God, I'd fucking like to go take some classes at college. You should.

I know, but I wouldn't actually ever go. But why not? Because I don't want to be in a classroom with a bunch of people. I don't know why. But you love people. I know, but I just don't want that kind of attention. I think you should have that sort of life experience. I think that it would mean a lot to you.

You want to send me away to college, sweetheart? I just think it would mean a lot to you to be able to go and get an education because you are you are so self-educated that I really do think that even if you do it later in life. Like there was this woman, I think she went to ASU. I can't remember, but she was 81 and she graduated with her granddaughter. Maybe we could go back to school together. Maybe I should. Well, first of all, if I'm going to have a granddaughter, I need to have a daughter first. And if I'm going to graduate from college with my granddaughter, I think it's a fucking little late for that.

Well, no, we still have time. Okay, listen, the doctor said my eggs are really strong or whatever they are. I don't know how many eggs I have, but apparently they're swimming fast. Or is that sperm? Oh, that's sperm. Whoopsie. So if I have a baby now, 46, okay, 46, I'd have to get pregnant. And then the pregnancy would have to take, which it will because I'm so fucking fertile.

Okay, so then 47, I have a baby, plus 18 equals 65. 65, if I have a baby and I can engineer it to be a girl, force her to have another baby. By the time I'm 65, I can have a granddaughter and then another 18 years. Okay. I'm going to have to have my daughter have a baby earlier than 18. Well, I think that you, we could skip a few of these steps. You adopt like a late in life foster. Like Britney Spears.

Yes, perfect. She already has kids. So you can graduate with one of her kids. With Preston. She has one named Preston. I know that for sure. Preston and Jaden. Okay, great.

Problem solved. Oh, God. I should have called into the podcast. You still can. Our next submission comes from Melissa. She's 46 out of Toronto. She is a travel radio host. A travel radio host.

I wonder if that means that she travels or her radio show is about travel. We'll find out. Her question is, dear chelsea i was caught between the working world and all of its perks and saying screw it to city life and living closer to the outdoors making less money and throwing caution to the wind we are the same age i'm ready for a change i love to travel i love adventures i have multiple talents that i use in my non-financial passion projects as a writer podcaster and interviewer but i haven't figured out my entrepreneurial angle that will enable me to give the big middle finger

to corporate life what do i do do we have melissa yeah we have melissa hi melissa hi how's it going it's going how's it going with you i am not too bad that is always a good sign right so you're in canada yes i'm in toronto okay and you have a traveling radio show what does that mean so about five years ago i started a show called fly travel radio so it's on a community radio station but it's also a podcast so I'm basically a one-woman operation I created it I'm the host interviewer editor all of the above all of it so that's my passion project okay on the side though in my nine to five I work at a university so I'm in like project event program management and like the golden handcuff job right so you have good pay good benefits good perks but it's

not fulfilling your soul or your destiny or anything like that. So it gets to be a hard time, right? When you're like, do you stay for the security or do you create your own path and bolt and just like find your own freedom? And I talk a lot in my show, I meet all these people who have done that, right? They've left like traditional nine to fives and they have location independent businesses. So if you wanted to go and live in Costa Rica for three months, you can go and do that if your laptop is with you or live in a ski town for a winter, right? It's like that freedom and that ability to control your own life. Right. So a couple of questions. Are you in a relationship?

Yes, I am. Okay. So what does that mean to you? Is that something you're willing to give up and leave or is that person coming with you? No, he would come with me. He's also pursuing voice work and he's a huge traveler as well. So that we share together. Oh, well, that's even better. Yeah, that's really nice. That's a fun time for an adventure.

You have a couple, like somebody you want to do it with that feels like, yeah, I mean, I'm all about taking a leap of faith. So I would encourage anyone to just, you know, be able to go out and see the world. You could do your one-man operation, your one-woman operation from wherever, right? You can do your podcast and radio show from wherever you are in the world. Absolutely. It's just, it's all volunteer, right? So it's more that I have to create a business that's lucrative where there's some cash because,

you know right so you have to go somewhere and find another job and you don't really know what you want to do right actually you know what I'm I have a lot of things like I'm I can write I can interview I'm good at people management project management there's a lot of things in my wheelhouse I just have to figure out how to monetize it and uh yeah like when you're 46 right you have this it's a dividing line where you're like do you bolt or do you just suck it up for a few more years but I'm pretty sure it's uh you know life is short and there's always a chapter for new a new way to live. So that's where we're at. Yeah, that's the right attitude. I think that's my attitude. I don't want to suck anything up. You know what I mean? I really just don't. I don't

want to. And if you have the ability to not do it, you have money saved where you could go somewhere and like, like, could you bounce around the world for three or six months and find a place that you really like and then worry about getting a job? Do you have that that kind of savings or no? Yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah. Yeah. So then I think you have your answer. I mean, you need to get after it. it's true it's true what do you think i think you need to embrace the unknown i think that this last year has really shown a lot of people that time is of the essence like you have to get out and do the things you want to do now because we don't know what's coming and there are a lot of options for online work right now that you can just contract in for like there's i keep seeing

this website for people to type out closed captioning because everyone is in need of closed captioning now for inclusivity and you get paid by the word. So some people are making like $500 per post that they closed caption. So yeah, they will send you the video and you have to transcribe it. So I just think that there are a lot of ways now to make money remotely. You can work for Apple remotely. You can do the Apple care services. I used to work for Apple, so I know that and they pay great and you can kind of set your hours for that. So again, if it's just about getting out and having your own schedule and being on your own time. There are a lot of ways to do that now. Yeah, I yeah, I would agree. I think quarantine and COVID have brought brought a

broughton. I just said I said broughton. Oh, don't do the transcribing. Yeah, maybe I won't do the transcribing. I mean, here I am a regular wordsmith constantly fucking up my work. Yeah, I mean, there are that it's been brought to light that you can now pretty much do almost everything from home. I know. I mean, so many more places and companies are opening up to this. And there are so many little loopholes. For example, in Costa Rica, they just passed legislation to attract more digital nomads. They changed the law so you wouldn't have to renew your tourist visa for a year with the option of renewing for a second year versus every three months. So now you'll also be able to legally drive using your driver's license from your own country and open a bank

account in Costa Rica, which is pretty great. So there's no shortage of opportunities. It's just about finding the right opportunities. It's kind of analogous to getting scholarships at schools. Like there's all these ins and outs for every university to get funding or to get help with scholarships or housing money. Like, you know, and there are people who specialize in telling students, oh, this is how you can save money here. You can get this loan. People just don't know how to utilize all those services. I was just having a conversation with somebody yesterday. She's like, oh my God, you can almost get everything paid for. You just have to have somebody who knows their way around it. But I think that applies to so many things in life.

There are so many avenues to get revenue and ways to accrue revenue that you don't even know about just yet. So if you did spend some time researching that, I'm sure you'd come up with something that kind of fits your skill set. Well, it's also it's also not permanent. So like just as if you wanted to go away for three or six months, even a year, if you have the means to do that, you can always go back. Like you're obviously articulate and skilled in your field. So I don't think you'd have a problem getting a job back. but if you don't ever take the step to kind of put yourself out of your comfort zone you're going to wonder so absolutely totally the other thing that goes with this is that you're pregnant

yeah totally 46 loving it no i'm not i i'm trying to get pregnant right now it's not easy i thought so yeah i have organized this you're off with my employer right but if you do that it's like a get of jail free card for a year because you can go but you have to come back to like this job so this is like also part of the dilemma where i'm just like oh yeah right yeah i'm done yeah well i think that's your answer you're done right you know your answer i do yeah well it seems like you solved your own issue well it was really helpful thank you very much okay thank you yeah you too take care another problem solved sweetheart people just want to be transients that's what i've realized everyone is searching for a way to not have a normal job

i know i know it's just so nice to have freedom you know to have be free like even my sister she works all day long she's on zooms one zoom and then another zoom and it's all about health care and like biotech and I mean I don't know how she does it and you know she takes her job seriously obviously I don't but you know she can basically do it from anywhere but now they're talking about everyone going back into the office so now she's like I've got to go everywhere I could go now before they're requiring us to be back so she can do it from wherever I don't know I don't know why people are doing that but I guess there is something to be said obviously for socializing and having a network of people in an office working towards the same goal or a common goal.

And, you know, there is a camaraderie in that. You can't deny that. But it should be up to the individual if they want to be involved in that kind of chicanery because a lot of people don't want to be around other people. I wonder how that will work with television as a way of the future. I mean, I feel like they got so good at producing things remotely that there's not like Drew Barrymore. Her show, they basically teleport guests in so people don't even have to show up anymore. and it looks great yeah it looks like you're sitting right next to her i think i did it

didn't i it was maybe i did it when i was a zoom yours was a zoom but you had the option it didn't work out but yeah it seems like there are going to be a lot of ways to get people still working together remotely there is a platform where they set up an artificial office space and you can click on people's rooms like you're walking into their office and it will start their camera like you have to allow for that to happen but you set certain office hours so you know people are there working as a team and you can use this online grid to immediately contact people like as if you were just walking right through the door oh that's so cool they're they're implementing a lot of options with my bell at the house so that you don't have to see her no uh so that she doesn't

have to see me oh well she would love that i know that's what i'm trying to do is help her enjoy herself more without me there she sees me and she's just like fuck so what do you think about ellen's show ending do you think it's time just as just as a creative person that like you hit your mark with chelsea lately and then you could not do it anymore no no but i have a short i have a very short tolerance attention she's been doing it almost 20 years yeah yeah no it's time i mean anytime you end something then that's the time it should end well and you said recently that you would possibly be interested in going back into interviewing people you want me to be ellen's replacement i would love if you were i think that should go to a woman of color

quite honestly well i love your interview style and i think a lot of people do and miss it oh sweetheart you're all over me today oh my god you forget i was a fan first and sometimes that comes out but now you think that you could do it again you could stomach the celebrity interviews i don't know i don't know i say things and i don't know unnecessarily if i've thought things through I mean yeah I would be open to a conversation about hosting a TV show again but I know what my limits are and I know what my attention span is and I'm not going to be tied down to a short yes short I'm not going to be tied down to being in a studio five days a week like that wouldn't be my cup of tea I don't want to go to through that again and I don't like having a

staff of a hundred people so like when I hosted Ellen's show which it was a great time but that's because it was i walking into a well-oiled machine everything was set up for you it's not building the show there's no sense of responsibility other than the episodes i'm on you know like it comes with a whole package so it is a deeper more thoughtful i would have to really think about that but anyway that show specifically if they're going to keep it should go to a black or asian or latina woman you heard it here first you guys i'm glad we got that out of the way Oh, OK, so we are going to take a break right now and gather our emotions and you come back and we're going to be fresher. Fresh as a daisy. That's me. Bye.

Behind every night spent making the kids lunches, there is a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto-pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability.

Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.

I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts see you between the pages hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook on the big money players network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to

help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this how about we flip it on its head how about we flip the script what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting

weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show I would never expect I would never set expectations for something like that to happen

if the universe allows for something like that to happen I am open to it. I'm always going to accept. You know, Danny McBride, fine. Yeah, it's all this fragile masculinity exuding. I could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you. I was like, is that weed?

Nope, it's fragile masculinity. Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times, out of context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is. You know what I mean? Like, they're like, oh, what's a circle? Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake.

Right, fake. And also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here.

It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode, I think, is about confidence, right? It's about keeping confidence, keeping someone's confidence, or it's about having confidence. So it's kind of like a twofold episode. Well, twofold meaning, I should say.

It's not a twofold episode. I don't even know what I'm talking about. But keeping someone's confidence and having someone's confidence, those even are nuanced. And then also being confident. And I like this subject of discussion because I think it's really contagious when people understand how to instill their own self-confidence and keeping someone's confidence. I don't know how I would rate my performance on that. I try and keep secrets. I mean, I'm pretty good about it.

I try not to tell secrets, other people's secrets. Confidence is a subject matter that I always love to talk about because I just think it's so important. And and obviously it makes a difference in your life because when you are confident, people respect that and they understand that. And like, you know, you set a different set of parameters for people to deal with you. So it's in everybody's best interest to figure out ways to kind of, you know, talk yourself up to yourself. All right. Our final submission comes. Oh, it's a double duo. It is Ashley and Courtney. They write. They are not on the phone. Dear Chelsea, my girlfriend and I are trying to resolve the sexual tension between one of our best friends and one of our new friends who also happens to be her roommate.

Okay, so this is going to be some, we're going to have to piece this together. Maybe I'm going to start drawing a picture. Our best friend is afraid to tell her of her deep love because she doesn't want to ruin their friendship, but we secretly want them to be together and truly cannot stand the tension. It's slightly complicated because the new friend slash roommate is casually sleeping with someone, but has been clear that they aren't exclusive and also keeps trying to hold on to our best friend's hand. Should we spill the secret during a drunken night to get it over with? We need help. Yeah, totally get it out. You guys have to go tell that girl, the one that she has a crush on.

You have to find out, is she into it? Is she down with her? Is she interested in her? And if she is, like, let's get a move on. So as friends, go help your one friend out, go to the other girl, the roommate, and figure it out. And if she's down, then don't get it twisted. Problem solved. That was easy.

That was really in your wheelhouse today, sweetheart. Sometimes people, I think, this is how I feel about friendship. I feel like you want to take the liberty to go out of your way to help your friend succeed. Yeah. So all friends should be that kind of friend. I know some people aren't like that. They're like, oh, I don't want to overstep. It's like, no, no, no.

There's no such thing. When you're trying to help somebody achieve something, like my friend in Whistler worked very, very, very hard to get me penetrated. She was like, you will not leave Whistler this winter until you get penetrated. And I was like, thank you. I'm like, I really appreciate your efforts on my behalf. You know, she just wouldn't take no for an answer. And every guy that she presented, if I didn't like him, she's like, okay,

No problem. I'll find someone else. I'll find someone else. And then finally, she did find somebody that I was able to be penetrated by a few times. So that to me was such a display. Talk about the marble jar. Right. Talk about putting marbles in the marble jar and saying, oh, wow, that friend went out of her way for me to a degree that I haven't had a friend do that for me in a really long time. And I was really appreciative of that. So we've talked about the marble jar before, but I love it. Brene Brown wrote about it or spoke about it first, how friendship is a marble jar and how people add to the marble jar with every act of kindness or love or reliability or whatever you value in your friendships. Every time they do something or you have a great time, there's more marbles. And any time they do something that you don't like, a marble gets taken out. but if you have a great friendship there are so many marbles in the jar that nothing can break that you're never going to be low on marbles it's like laying a foundation basically and I love it because it's so true in so many of my relationships like you don't leave a relationship when the

marble jar is full anyway that's the marble jar so you know that makes me also want to go out of my way for her but I know she has a husband so it probably won't be penetration right but I can go out of my way for her in other ways and but that to me is a real real true friend people like to make things way more complicated than they need to be i've realized through some of these submissions like that to me seemed very simple you go to and you don't even have to be drunk you go to your friends say this is what's going on just like full transparency so you can set reasonable expectations for yourself don't let her go into these things unknowingly you know interacting when you're aware of a circumstance and also even if it turns into a messy situation it sounds like

they're younger right yeah probably yeah even if it turns into a messier situation like okay so they hook up and then it ends badly that's what your 20s are for fucked up living arrangements i mean i've slept with roommates before and it hasn't ended well like it's all kind of part of it so it's not like there's huge stakes i guess maybe moving apartments do sound like the huge stakes but i would say that's no fun yeah moving's the worst it's fun to you know experiment especially with your roommates and yeah go for it well that's convenience right there yeah that is convenience because you imagine in a success story like the good if it doesn't work out that sucks but if it does work out that's awesome yeah you can send them back to their room after

getting penetrated that seems nice the moral of the episode is that everybody needs to tell themselves something good about yourselves every fucking morning when you wake up and then keep repeating that if you like your eyelashes start there if you like your hair your ears your boobs or your arm whatever it is your personality i said all physical things that's terrible i mean if you like your ability to remember names that's a good one uh things that people like if you have an ability to make people laugh right or if you are somebody who is really really loyal you know focus on that. Just everybody needs to remember that they're valuable and that they're unique and that there is no one else on this earth that is exactly like you. So bring it. And that's all

I have to say about that. OK, I've made my opinions and declarations loud, clear, and I'm sick of them. As our season finale wraps up today in this episode, I'm feeling large amounts of gratitude for this unexpected podcast for me because I didn't really set out for it to be serious as serious as it is I hope that it's funny to all of you people as well because I do want to make you laugh but I thought it would be more funny and less serious and it's become more serious so I am really like pleasantly surprised by that and not disappointed at all it's like totally unexpected for me to go in that direction. And I just love the challenge. And I love really having this connection with people because I really have seen so many people just kind of

trust me. And I want you to know, like, I do have your back. That's what I'm doing. And I'm so grateful that people are taking our advice and also doubling back with us to recheck in is so meaningful because we have a measurable stick of progress. And also for all of our callers, I just want to remind you that if you've called in and we've helped you, please follow up with us. I love to hear follow-up calls. I love to hear progress reports, see how you're doing. If you guys don't remember, Shane was one of our follow-up callers who called back who had taken a week off of smoking or a month off of smoking pot with me. We both did it together.

And then he came out to his family as trans, and his whole life is different now. So we want to hear from you about the progress that you've made. and when I say keep in touch I mean it so we will be coming right back with season two we will not leave you hanging we will be dropping little nuggets for you so look out for them please and Brandon is moving on to a new job and so he will no longer be with us but I want to thank him very much for helping to get this podcast off the ground and starting it with such a bang I'm going to have a variety of different co-hosts come in people who are experts in certain fields and friends of mine and i look forward to keeping this podcast going i'm loving it you guys so

thank you so much to all of our listeners and i hope you keep listening and that you spread the word and you spread the good vibes and that we all know that everybody's always dealing with something so just try not to be an asshole bye-bye have a great day if you want any assistance with your partner your best friend really anything you can write into dear chelsea project at gmail.com dear chelsea project at gmail.com also i am on tour you can buy tickets at ticket master for my shows and i can't fucking wait it's called vaccinated and horny so make sure that you bring your vaccinations and your horniness and then keep them to yourself please i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive

what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture

with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our hometown is not a test tube.

90 miles northeast of Nashville, a battle for the future of America plays out in one small town. Developers with right-wing ties have purchased hundreds of acres of land. We need cities on a shining hill. This is Our Town, a podcast about what happens when a small town becomes the site of a social experiment and fights back. Guess you didn't move in on a bunch of dumb hillbillies now, did you? Listen to Our Town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.