Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Dating the Good Dad with Judy Greer

Episode Date: October 2, 2025

Judy Greer joins Chelsea to chat about the time she got fired from a movie set, why step-parenting is the clutch job, and why you don’t get weekends off when you date the good dad.  Then: An Angeleno realizes she’s accidentally dating a MAGAt.  And a young mom struggles in her marriage when her wife’s unemployment seems neverending.  * Gratitude Journal Prompts Journal apps: Happyfeed Sphera * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by.

The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi. Hi, Catherine. Oh, hello, Chelsea.

I'm fresh off of Canada. I went to Tofino for the weekend. It was so beautiful there. So nice. And it didn't look like a man in sight. There was... I didn't see a lot of men there. It was mostly women. I went with some girlfriends and we saw some other girlfriends while we were there. And it was so gloomy and rainy, which I love. And on the beach and there was a surfing competition, peak something.

And I ran around in my rain boots and bathing suit and we just had such a nice time. And Canada is so peaceful. Yeah. Canada is very, very peaceful. I just came from my OBGYN and apparently the estrogen pack that I've been taking is empty. I have no estrogen and I have no testosterone. Oh, great. So there is a reason that I, my words are not making any sense these days.

I am overwhelmed with stress from my stupid fucking house and I am not on the right hormones and I am in menopause. So I have to get my shit together. Well, at least you know now so you can get it all regulated. Yes, yes. But people have been also asking about the supplements you use for mental acuity. Well, that's ironic considering. Okay.

So I do take NMN pills, everybody. those are good for your, like, you know, NAD. I was injecting NAD, but my doctor told me not to inject NAD, that there was all these studies that came out that NAD causes cancer, or there's like some correlation to NAD and cancer. So I'm not doing that anymore. I'm taking the NMN pills. The peptides I take are tesamorelin. I take GHK, CU, copper, and I take terzepatide, which has a little NAD. So it's not an overwhelming amount of NAD. So that's what I do. And that's the like GLP one. Like that's for weight management, really. I know I'm not overweight, but I just take it to take the edge off of food. So I don't go into my hotel room and eat out the mini bar. And not that

I eat out mini bars, but I eat out of mini bars. I did like that phrasing. But something that's really good to take is prodrome neuro. That's something I take for a mental acuity. I take iron every day. I take vitamin D every day. I take CoQ10, which is really important if you're taking any sort of statin, which I also take because I have genetically bad cholesterol. It's good for heart health. Yeah, it is. It's good for heart health and it's good for brain health. And then I take creatine, which is, you can get that anywhere. Like I take that from Air One, I think mine is from. My brain juice is, it's just called brain juice. It's because I don't really drink coffee. So I just take a shot of that when I wake up and

throughout the day when I need a little pick me up. And then DHEA is important for protein, to maintain protein. I started taking that, yeah. And it can raise your testosterone level. Oh, can it? Okay, good. Okay. Cause I haven't really been taking that. And for the gratitude journal, I only use the gratitude journal in my, I know people are asking what I'm using. I use the one in my phone so that I, it's called, what is this called? It just says journal, but you know what? I think this is something you can really just do on your own. You can put it even in your notes app. You can write it into a journal. I'll find a couple that are highly recommended and put links to them in the description. But yeah,

it's really just about writing out what you're thankful for. What's bringing, I heard this recently too, which is what's bringing joy into your life? Like what brought joy into your life today? Doug. Doug had a handkerchief on when I came home from Tofino. So my bell did that for me special. And he was really ready to get down with it when I got home last night. And I was not ready to get down with it. I was ready to go to fucking sleep. And I got into bed at seven o'clock. I took a Xanax and went straight to bed. So I'm trying to take less Xanax, but it doesn't seem to be working. So I don't know. You can follow my habits or not. I mean, you're on your own, everybody. And obviously everybody talk to your doctor before you take any of these, you know.

Yes, I'm not a doctor, everybody. Even though I say I am, I'm not. I just announced all my tour dates. They just went on sale this week. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be starting debuting my new material. Well, I've already started debuting my new material, but in an organized tour form in February of next year. So I'm coming to Washington, D.C., Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus, and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago, of course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Mesa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri, St. Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville,

Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California, and Port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June. Those are the cities that I'm in. Presale started last week, so tickets are flying. I haven't added second shows yet, but we probably will be to some of these. So go get your tickets now. If you want good seats and you want to come see me perform,

I will be on the high and mighty tour. Okay, our guest today is in two brand new movies. She's in, well, you know her from every movie. She's in so many things. Stephen King's The Long Walk and Dead of Winter with Emma Thompson. Please welcome Judy Greer. I'm wearing my sunglasses

because I forgot my regular glasses and their prescription. By the way, I was doing that all day yesterday. I mean, we're 50. You're 52 now. I am 50. And I had to do it yesterday, and I was like, oh, no, Sunday was getting a massage, so I'm like sitting in the massage room in sunglasses.

I know. Sometimes I'm at a restaurant at night, and all I have are my prescription sunglasses, and I'm just like, I'm such a loser. But we're just 50 years old, and that's the way our lives are now. I'm talking to Judy Greer, who has graced us with her presence today. Hello. Hello. Hello, Judy.

How are you? Taking a sip of some Diet Coke. I'm really good. Good for you. Good for you. It's all gone. I won't do that again. I just want to go through a list of your credits just because you're in so many things that I had to say.

Okay. You've seen her in Jawbreaker, What Women Want, The Wedding Planner, Adaptation, Just Shoot Me, The Village, Elizabethtown, My Name is Earl, 27 Dresses, ER, 13 Going on 30, House, Archer, Modern Family, The Big Bang Theory, Marmaduke, Love and Other Drugs, Arrested Development, and it goes on and on and on and on. She has a total of 150 TV and movie credits to her name, and now she is here to promote two projects. One is called The Long Walk, which is a Stephen King movie based on the book,

and the other one is called The Dead of Winter. I watched The Long Walk last night. You did? Yes, I did. I'm proud of you. It was dystopian. I know. That's good.

How would you, first of all, congratulations on your career. Oh, thanks. I mean, you've been in so many things. I've known you since I was- When? From when I just started watching TV. You were always around.

I mean, I've just known your face forever. I know. And you're like, I mean, you talk about being kind of a character actor, but are you a character actor? I don't know. I mean, yeah, what does that mean anymore? I don't know. I don't know. I don't understand, like, that.

Aren't we all character actors? Aren't we all acting like characters? Like, I think that's a funny description. It just means, like, you're not the star. That's all I ever, whenever someone's like, oh, supporting, oh, character. I'm like, okay, sure, I'll take it. But yes, I've been around for a long time. We both have been around.

We've been like, we made it. We did. I mean, we can say that. That's true. Yeah, we're 50. We're 50. And we're alive and we're still working. We're still alive.

We're still working. I know, that's incredible. I'm still single, but you got married. I did it. Yeah. Were you dating somebody that I worked with for a while? So were you ever in a show called Girls Behaving? Yes.

Yes. So one of the producers of that show or writers of that show was a man. He still is. I had so many comments, but I decided not to say any of them. Dumb comments. Okay. Nicholas Thomas. And he was one of, I can't remember if he.

Is he a producer? Yeah. On Girls Behaving Badly. Yeah. And he wrote sketches for you guys to do. and I remember I mean nothing against the rest of the cast but he would come home from work and talk about you oh I like that yeah yeah he always talked about you and he talked about how great you were and how special you were and how you were like really different and really special and

really funny but also like I don't know I really hate when people say like you get it she gets it But he wouldn't have said it back then because now they say it. But like that you kind of were different in a good way. And so I feel like you've always been on my radar. Oh, well, have we never met before? I can't remember because I'm 50. I know, but you know what? Neither can I.

I can never remember whether or not I met. So let's just assume that we have. I'm sure that we did. I'm sure I interviewed you on one of my talk shows at some point. Yes, I'm sure of it. But I like what you say about, I mean, I don't know when you said it, But you were talking about character acting and that saying that there are no small roles, which is, you know. Which I came up with that.

I invented that phrase. But you did say if you do enough small roles well enough that you are going to have a career. Yeah. Because the original line is there are no small roles. There are only small actors. I know. Which is also, you know, a very old saying. I need to shorten my chair a little bit.

There she goes. Did I ruin everything? Not at all. Okay, good. are you happy first of all let's talk about lower to the ground yes a little bit of course get as low to the ground as you want you tell me how do you describe the long walk uh it's not a comedy sometimes if you don't know what you want you can try like to figure out what you don't want that's what i told my stepson the other day i'm like honey sometimes if you don't know exactly

what you want you just like figure out what you don't want and that's a good way in uh so it's not a comedy. The Long Walk is, um, how would I describe it? I mean, it's, I feel like maybe it's a psychological horror movie. They're both a little bit psychologically horror movies. Both of them. Yes, they are. Yes. And they're, and I play really different roles in both of them, but The Long Walk, I mean, I think it's really beautiful actually. I don't know what your experience was. I don't know what it's like to watch it at home. Cause I'm assuming you watched at home. Yeah. I think like you can kind of lose yourself in a theater and I think it would be a little bit, I don't know, maybe it would be harder to watch at home. I mean, it's a commentary on

humanity, on friendship. Yeah. I mean, what I felt like was beautiful about it was the connection that they made, these boys and sort of the grace with which they allowed each other to go and the fear of the future. And, you know, like you could kind of like throw anything on top of that movie and get, you know, like, whatever you're feeling, you could probably pull that theme out of it. Right. Are you attracted to movies like this? Because they're both kind of in the same,

not the same kind of movie, same genre. Yeah, I think so. I think I am. I mean, I'm excited to do, like, different stuff. Yeah. And these were both really different for me. Have you ever been bored as an actor when you were doing something?

I mean, you don't have to name a movie or a show. Well, then, yes. I don't have to name it what do you do when you don't feel like revved up for the part how do you get yourself up how do you get it up so to speak there's so many

pills for that that I think well I think like I always have fun I'm really not just saying that like I always have fun at work and I always enjoy at least one person I'm at work with like there's someone on a set that I'm going to connect with that's going to be fun. Usually there's a lot of people on a set that I like, but sometimes, you know,

you just have to like pick your person and then I make it fun for that. If the role's not fun, if the role's hard, if some of the people are hard, if the job is hard, like I can find something to be excited about. Have you ever walked off a job? No. Really? I mean, like I think I would drop dead. I can't even imagine. Really? Have you? Yes. What? Multiple times. I once was hosting this show, Steven Spielberg created it. It was like a reality show, but it was created by Steven Spielberg. And it was about finding the next big like filmmaker or director or something along those lines. Like it was a cerebral version of a reality show. And they offered me like, they just kept throwing things at me to make me host it. I'm like, I'm not a host of reality shows. Like

I'm a talk show host. It's not the same thing. Like I'm taking the piss out of everything. I'm not here to be like go jeremy like tell me how how was it yeah yeah exactly like i don't have that ryan seacrest kind of vibe you know he has that and he does it well yeah and then i did it and it was a disaster like i mean it was like i had couldn't read a prompter and be like genuine right you know what i mean i have to like ad lib and i have to be myself and then there was these big producers that worked for steve spielberg and then like two weeks in i was like i have to stop this. I go, you guys have to replace me. I go, this is uncomfortable for all of us. I'm not good at this. Yeah. I don't want to do it. Yeah. And they're like, you can't say no to Steven Spielberg.

My reps were like, you can't. I'm like, Steven Spielberg is going to thank me for getting off of this. Yes, yes, yes, yes. For giving him an out so he doesn't have to fire me. Yeah. So that, yeah, I walked away from that job, but that would have been a humiliation if I had followed through with it. And did they reshoot everything with you that you'd already shot? I think they reshot it, or maybe they used some of it. I think they used some of it and then, I don't know, I wasn't really following it closely after I left. And nobody knows what it is. I don't even remember what it's called. I did once get fired from something that I felt I was miscast. Like when I auditioned for like the female lead of the movie and I didn't get it. But then they were like, oh,

but we love you and we want you to play this smaller role. And I was really young and I was starting out. So I was like, oh, my God, of course. And I just knew like I knew without knowing because I was young, like now I would know. But I knew without knowing that I was wrong when I got to set like the words were really hard for me to memorize like the scene was really hard like no one was happy on set like we were all trying to sort of like figure it out like why isn't this working and I knew it was me and then I got home that night and I got a call from my agent that I was fired and I was like I had my ego 10 minutes of like no you're right but I was like thank fucking god because like you don't want to be bad in something right like no like it wasn't

meant to be no no it wasn't meant to be yeah and there's a scene because I shot two scenes that day like my big big scene and then this like scene where I was just in a limousine with the main character and and so I'm still in the limousine they didn't reshoot that they didn't cut me out of that so it just looks like the main character had as a silent friend like like like if you watch it extra yeah I was an extra it was like it's Toni Collette she's in the limousine she plays this movie star and I'm like I was supposed to be I think like her agent or the movie producer I don't even remember but now I'm just like one of Toni Collette's sort of posse's yeah like a part of her coterie yes right right in the back of the limousine well I want to say congrats on turning

50 because I turned 50 this year when's your birthday July 20th okay July 20 so you're gonna be 51 this year no I just turned 50 because we're in September thank you sorry I keep asking what month it is it's so confusing right now it's really hard and you've got your sunglasses it's so hard to keep track of time i know time is it just changed during the pandemic like it'll never be the same did you quit drinking after the pandemic i read that somewhere during well 2022 so during so during the pandemic because i mean everyone drank too much during the pandemic and then they quit drinking i know but everyone i know went back to it i did not yeah you know i did the reverse i didn't drink very much in the beginning of the pandemic because i was like well

that's the only i mean i did mushrooms and other things yeah but no drinking because because i was alone and then when my family moved in that's when i started that's when i hit the bottle yes hard yeah when they started when they morphed with me but so many people have gotten sober since the pandemic yeah are you sober or are you just like sober really yeah oh wow i just decided to start saying that actually really yeah that seems to be going around and i'm not saying like saying it no I'm not saying that it's trendy I'm just saying that it's fine to be trendy a lot of people are sober in LA and a lot of people are sober from the pandemic some people someone who is I talking to someone I was talking to owns a pizzeria pizza place in LA and said that like so much of the

business was drinks in a pizza place and now that nobody's drinking it's like restaurants are kind of getting fucked because they like made so much of their money like yeah I've heard this before I mean, you charge like $15, $20 for a cocktail, but it's like $15 for a pizza. But is it just L.A. or is it all over? I don't go places anymore. You don't leave L.A. I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, there is a definite younger generation that are not drinking. Gen Z is like not drinking at all. Yeah, yeah. They don't drink. So that's definitely having an impact too. Maybe, yeah. Because our generation, we're heavy drinkers and then everyone is getting sober at a certain age.

That's been my experience. I'm not sober though. Yeah. And I have no intention of becoming sober. Don't do it. So nobody wants you sober. That's right. Thank you for saying that.

Thank you for saying that so I didn't have to. I want to talk about you being a stepmom because I feel like that's the clutch role. That's a real character role. If you're going to be, yeah, seriously. If you're going to be in a relationship with children, it's great to be once removed. I had a therapist at the time when I met them who was told, she told me, oh, it's so hard. It's so hard. And I was like, okay, well, easy. And she said, she goes, because you have all the responsibility and none of the authority. And I was like, yeah. And I don't feel that now my kids

are old, but like when they were young, you are like, you're like a babysitter extra sometimes. Like I can't make them do shit. But, but there was a lot of conversations at night in bed where I'm like, you need to do this, you know, because I didn't really want to be the bad guy. It's not fair to make me the bad guy. Telling your husband that he needs to do. So like I had to force him to be the bad guy sometimes. And what was your situation when you guys were going to, you guys met and then you did, you got married and we didn't live together.

We had two houses and we tried. You should keep. Yes. I mean, everyone should have two houses if you can. It was so great. But now we just have the one. We live, I mean, we rent out. So we had his house, which was in Thousand Oaks, and my house, which still is, in Hollywood.

And so we kind of went back and forth, or there were nights where I just stayed at my house. That was so great. But also, I travel so much for work that I'm already gone a lot. You know what I mean? I wasn't moving in and like, okay, everyone, family time. I was in and out so much that I think it would have been shitty if I was like, these are the new rules, people. And I'm going to go for two months. So we would have his kids every other week.

And so we would stay at his house in Thousand Oaks the week we had the kids. And then we would go to my house most of the time when we didn't. But in the very beginning, when we were just dating, I would be like excited for our weekend without the kids. And he would be like, not because of anything with the kids, just like it's a new relationship. So then he, I would say like, what are we going to do this weekend? And he'd be like, oh, Lucas has a baseball game. And I'm like, yeah, but it's not your weekend. And he's like, yeah, but I'm still his dad.

And so I realized like, oh, man, I'm like dating the good dad. Like I'm not even dating. I've like chosen a really like genuinely good person. Which is sexy until you have them. You're like, I want to get, you know, I want to meet somebody who's a really good father. And then you meet them and they're not your kids. And you're like, well, whoa, this isn't how I imagined it. We were, like, so hungover at the soccer field, like, eating McDonald's out of the bag and then throwing up in that.

Just kidding. I never barfed. Of course not. At the game. But, yeah, it was crazy. Like, then the weekends we didn't have the kids. We were like, we're still in. We're still going to those games.

But we are definitely in dark sunglasses and definitely like, whoa, here we are. Yeah, but it was good. It taught me a lot about relationships and obviously parenting. And his kids are so great. They still are so great. it influenced my decision to not to have one of my own. It did influence. Yeah. I was, I was never like, I've got to have a baby. I need a baby. Like this life is a baby. But I was always like, well, I mean, isn't that what you do? Don't you get married and have a

baby? I'm like really pretty basic. And so when I met him and his kids were great and everything was going really well and I was working a lot and it was like, shit, my gynecologist was like, what's the plan dude like you're not you know so then i thought a lot about it like for two years and then i was talking to this girlfriend on the phone and she said i was like oh i have to decide i really need to figure this out i need to freeze my eggs or whatever and she was like dude you don't want a baby and i was like how do you know you barely know me she did she was like women who want their babies get their babies man yeah exactly they just do she's like you're married you love him you're crazy about him you'd have two babies right now if you wanted a baby right

exactly she's like you don't want a baby and it's so funny that no matter how not present that thought is at the front of your mind we always have it in the back of our minds because of like society has because we want something that we're we're basically arguing with just a rule that was made you know someone else made it for other people that aren't us it was hard for me to reprogram my brain into that yeah i was reading some stuff about you and your mom and that you have all these kind of weird things in common right like your mom was shot in the chest and you have a scar where she was shot whose mom has been shot in the chest well she's from ohio what happened so maybe a lot of people's moms in ohio oh no it was a big old accident oh no obviously

but isn't it so well yeah and she survived and she survived bitch when she was 11 and her brother I was like, I'm coming with you. That's a terrible thing to say. No, it's funny. But then you have the scar on your chest. I do. I showed her once, and she was so freaked out. She wasn't like, oh, my God.

She was like, oh. But is it like a birthmark, or did you have— It's a little—it's like—she was shot, like, right next to her heart. You know, there's always this story. Like, if it would have been one half of a millimeter closer. Anyway, yada, yada. but my mine is like a tiny little little tiny just like hers like little bump like a little round bump like where the bullet went in I have the same do you believe in anything related to

that like that that's yes I do what do you believe I don't know what I believe but I believe it's special yeah but I don't really have like a well it's because of this or like can I lay my stones out on the table. Like I'm not that, but I do think like I have to, and I want to choose to believe that there's something bigger than us and that maybe it is special. I mean, it doesn't mean that she and I like don't fight a lot. Like we got in an argument this morning on the phone because she's annoying because she needs help and she won't ask for it. And I wouldn't say this because she doesn't really know how to listen to a podcast. I don't think so. That's too bad. This is an advice podcast. We're about to take callers and she could have called in. Um, yeah. So part

of the fun thing about getting older is that your parents are also getting older and they also require things from us too so so we were talking about that is she in ohio still yeah she's in ohio there was like they she's from ohio she and my dad got married they had me this all happened in michigan and then when they retired they moved back to ohio and they live in this small town called carry ohio go blue demons and most of her family is still there so i have like loads of cousins and second cousins and aunts and uncles and well not as many aunts and uncles anymore but they're all still there and so it sucks that she's so far away that my parents are both so far away but it's great because there's family there yeah and you're an only child yeah yeah yeah so how did

you like that experience I mean it's fucking awesome compared to growing up with a bunch of brothers and sisters all I saw was my friends getting the shit beat out of them all the time and I was like how but now at this age I'm like oh it would be nice to have some siblings yeah yeah what's the the rap on only children is that they're supposed to be spoiled is that it spoiled or odd right yeah i think like i had a girlfriend when i grew up heather and she was an only child and i loved going to her house because it was really peaceful it was so organized like her parents were so like um like uh straight you know yeah my house was just a fucking hot mess of children and people running in and out food on the table humanity

Yeah. Humanity, like dirty underwear in the living room. Just gross, you know? And I remember going to her house and I think her mom was actually a librarian and it felt like that. And I just would be like, God, this is so, and then, yeah. And then, you know, a couple more times I went over and I'm like, this is kind of boring, but it wasn't a reflection of her. It was just reflection of the orderliness and that I kind of exist better in chaos. Yeah. I enjoyed going to the chaotic houses. I was like totally freaked out by them. Couldn't wait to go home but like also kind of like sought it out I was like wow like you you just punched a person like a human in the face yeah and then you guys are like laughing about a thing that mom said

yeah I don't I'm not I don't want to speak for every only child but like I'm terrible at fighting I'm really bad at conflict because I didn't have to have I never had that conflict and then you just like have to sit around the table and laugh afterward like I like a fight means a fight and it needs to be dealt with and talked about and you have to go to therapy about it and like all the things like it's a big deal to me I think that's wrong and I think I'm it shouldn't be that way but that I think is something maybe that is an only childy thing you think what you the way that you handle conflict is wrong yeah I think it's okay to fight I think we have to be allowed to like you know get in fights and then get over it yeah and kind of recover right and recover and

move on and still like have love in your heart for that person so do you remember the moment that you decided that you wanted to marry your husband? It was pretty early on, but I don't remember like exactly the moment. Was it love at first sight? No. Do you believe in that? No. Okay. I believe in lust at first sight or like a strong chemistry. But the older I get, I feel like I feel chemistry with all kinds of different people. And just because I feel chemistry with someone doesn't mean that we have to be lovers, be friends, spend one extra minute together. Well, that's another thing that we've been fed like the idea of chemistry lust love at first sight like everything's some sort of romantic fairy tale yeah and it's not like that at all and it also doesn't give you

a nuanced view of the world whereas you can have a soulmate that's your sister or your friend in the same sense that a soulmate can be a lover or your mother or right like it doesn't everything is so always seems so wrapped up in like sex what does it all mean like yeah i mean everything is an ends like a means to an end to get to have to have sex and love to get to have sex yeah or like acceptance or something yeah yeah yeah yeah so tell me about when you met your husband what were you gonna say well I was gonna say it wasn't and he says the same exact thing by the way he's like no it wasn't love at first sight I was happy he was tall because I wanted to wear high heels on our first date and I did was a blind date yeah it was like super blind for me like I opened the front

door your mother also met your father on a blind date yeah that's why that's another thing that to party with that yeah okay got it I was like well I don't know it works it could work out and he and I were talking on the phone so like I knew kind of who he was and then he felt bad because he's like well I know what you look like and you don't know what I look like do you want me to send you a picture because I didn't have like Facebook or any of that bullshit and I was like no it's weird I don't if I look what if I look at a picture of him and like and then get grossed out yeah I'd rather be grossed out right to his face when I open the front door I'd rather open the front door and have like my very non-poker face be like, oh, you're down there,

right? Or whatever. Like, yeah. So I said, no, no, it's fine. I liked him so much. He was so nice and so funny and also like kind of dark and like enough dark and enough weird that like he's not boring, but also like nice. And he drove a Prius, which to me felt like, oh, he cares about the environment and I liked that too and so we went on many fun dates and did lots of fun things but it was probably about a month in when I was like oh I love you and I kept saying I have very strong feelings for you I have very strong feelings for you too and then this is a crazy thing I had drinks and told him I loved him when I'd been drinking like that's never happened before to anyone in the history of love.

So I was the first person to get drunk and say I love you first. And then he also was drunk, which was weird. And he said it back. Yeah, two people, especially drunk together is weird. I know, like two drunk people. Anyway, so then the next morning when we were no longer drunk,

I was like, I did mean what I said. And he was like, me too. It was cute. And we did, we really did. It was fast. And then even two months after that, So now we're dating for, like, three or four months. We went on a vacation to Italy together.

And my girlfriend, Janet, was like, you better get a manicure. And I'm like, shut up. Really? And she's like, get a manicure. I'm like, ah! So I get a manicure. And, like, every day we're in a more romantic, beautiful place in Florence. And I'm like, ah.

And then it was, like, the last day. And we're sitting on this bridge over the river drinking, like, out of the bottle of Italian red wine. And I'm just like, you're not going to ask me to marry you, are you? And he was like, no. What are you talking about? It's been four months. I'm a father. That would just be irresponsible.

Yeah, totally. Oh, my God. Well, it wasn't me. It was Janet. It was Janet's fault. He's like, have you been thinking that every time there's been like a moment? And I'm like, yes. I wonder what guys think about when they think about that pressure.

like I was in Mallorca last summer and I saw outside of my window on the beach this couple and this guy proposing to her right and it was they were prepared because there were photographers and stuff and he's down on his knee on this like little rock you know little rock thing

what are the jetty and then he got up and I was about to do this interview for something and I said I wonder what a man feels like after he proposes and they say yes is he like yeah motherfucker like I wonder what their Because women are so, we're so wrapped up with regard to a proposal and our own thoughts and feelings that we're never, ever thinking about what a man feels like or what the pressure that he must be under.

Yeah, he must be fucking freaking out or some men are, hopefully, wondering if you're going to say yes or if you're going to say no. And then when I got on the phone with this reporter who was interviewing me, I told him and he goes, what do you think a man thinks about? I go, I've never thought what men are thinking about. I was just going to say that. It really never occurred to me to think about what men are thinking about. I have too much going on, you know? It's really busy up here. Yeah.

I felt the same way when you were telling this story. I was like, are we supposed to be thinking about what men think about? No, I don't think so. They're certainly not thinking about what we're doing. I mean, some of them are, not all of them. I mean, there are some very good men out there. And if you're a straight man listening, you're one of those people because our audience is not for straight men. But I'm glad that you found a good husband.

And I'm glad that you've, like, I like the idea of a stepmother for the reasons we've already explained and for many reasons, various reasons I've spoken about on this show. But the other thing that I love is having an influence, like a positive influence on a younger person is a very rewarding feeling. Yeah. Do you feel that way? Like, do you feel like you've imprinted upon them some? I mean, they tell me I have in like really lovely birthday cards and Christmas cards

and Mother's Day cards. Yeah, they definitely do. And I feel that. And I even like see it sometimes in little things here and there. Like, I don't know, I'm really into tiny little dishes and I see them around like I buy them obsessively for my stepdaughter and I'll see them like around her apartment. And like, I don't know, I'm not going to like take credit for everything I want to but but like I think it's in there

yeah I don't know but like they also like their mom is great their grandmother is fucking awesome like they're they're surrounded

by some really great people and has your husband ever said thank you yeah for oh my god

like for yes all the time helping yeah yeah all the time he's like you made me

such a better parent oh my gosh see like those are the kinds of things I love to hear about I also made him a better dog parent because he never

walked his dog. I should meet him. I never walked my dog either. You don't? Well, someone does. Well, yeah, somebody does. Is it different? I mean, it's part of the bonding, isn't it? But we have a dog door. Are you like, what's wrong with you?

I don't know. Yeah, that's what I like. It's a big open door policy. You go in and out as you please and I'll be over here. Good luck out there if you hear the coyotes chattering about it. Well, I always get dogs that are bigger than the coyotes and just hope for the best. You know what I mean? We're going to take a break.

We're going to take a break with Judy Greer and we'll be right back. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca

for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society,

the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments,

nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements.

We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman. Not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head?

How about we flip the script? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird? Adam Scott, this entire time, you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never let go of that. I have never set expectations for something like that. It seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm open to it. I'm always going to accept, you know, Danny McBride. Fine.

Yeah. It's all this fragile masculinity exuding. I could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you. mm-hmm i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity yeah ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's the state everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us

Personally, he loves the show, and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Judy. We're back. We are. Are you ready to get down to business? Like, I've always fantasized about this. This is, it's a, yes, it's a true thing, and it's quite rewarding, actually.

I'm not saying, like, I don't own the domain, dear Judy Greer. I'm not saying that I don't own it. Were you a Dear Abby fan? Yeah. I loved Dear Abby. I loved it. And also, that was only written, you know? Like, that was in the newspaper.

It wasn't... So there wasn't any way to expound, because you were... I was always, like, waiting for... I wanted more information. I wanted more back and forth and dialogue. So when we started this podcast, it was kind of in jest, and then it really actually became a serious thing. So now here we are, giving bad advice to people all across the world.

Our first question comes from Erica. She says, help, I'm accidentally dating a Trump supporter. What? Dear Chelsea, I'm a Canadian living in Los Angeles, and I'm in the music industry. I'm fiercely feminist and, like Chelsea, have strong values and an even stronger relationship with the truth. Needless to say, it has been difficult living in America the last few years and especially the last few months. I've been single for a long, long time, a mix of prioritizing my career and dating and not finding the right or any eligible man. All of that changed recently when I started dating someone, and there was a lot of promise.

We have a great connection, and he was checking all of my boxes, and everything was heading in the right direction. And then on Friday, we were on a date, and the conversation somehow turned to politics. He told me that he voted for Trump last year. I was blindsided. There had been zero indication of this. I had a visceral reaction, but tried to engage in dialogue. I asked him why. He said he did it for economic and business reasons. When I asked him if he was in favor of equal rights, pro-choice, etc., his response was an impassioned, of course. We talked about immigration, women's rights, etc., and he said maybe he would feel differently if he was, quote, affected by those things. I asked him if he regretted his vote, and his response was no.

To make matters even worse, he's Latino. I told him that this was difficult to digest for me because my values so strongly oppose those of the current administration and the Republican Party, which I widely regard to be a cult. I'm struggling to wrap my head around this. Well, I'm glad this came up before we got more serious. Seriously. I had strong feelings invested. Good connections with men are few and far between, and there was something there. I'm struggling to reconcile the person I was getting to know with the person who would vote for Trump. So what would Chelsea do? Is this a walking red flag, and should I run as far as I can, or is there a way to move through this without abandoning my beliefs? Erica. I mean, honestly, I would hate to say you can't

date somebody that voted for Donald Trump, because I just feel like that is just so narrow-minded. But right now in the world that we're living in, it's just so ugly, this discourse, this everything that's happening is so unsettling and it's making life less pleasant, actively making life less pleasant. And I don't know. I don't know how you get around something like that when it's just such a value. But like, what is the end game? Is it like marriage and kids like we were talking about before? Sounds like it. Because if that's what someone's really looking for, then like you have to really like put yourself like cut to 10 years from now and you've got like two kids at home and like how are you going to raise your kids together like how are you what values are you

going to instill in them and that would worry me it's one thing to have an open dialogue with somebody who disagrees with you vehemently and as opposed to you when it's how divisive things have become it's one thing to remain open to having a conversation with them it's a whole other thing to be in a sexual relationship that is leading to hopefully a more serious relationship and possibly marriage and kids down the road, then you kind of have to be like, well, wait a second. But what are your core values? What are like your actual like deep core values?

And like, is he on a whole podcast being like, oh my God, I'm so into this girl. And then I found out that she's a screaming liberal. And, but like, isn't this stuff on people's social media? Right. Why isn't this the first question you ask? That's another thing. I mean, well, not the first question.

Did you vote for Trump? It's not a great opening. Well, I think we're all learning something here about the questions. That's true. You should at some point before things have gotten to the point they are, had a political conversation. So that's also, you know, kind of like something to think about moving forward. But, yes, if you're looking for kids and family and a marriage,

it's probably not this guy. There's a really famous political couple. What's the guy's name? He was on, like, K Street. Oh, I know who you're talking about. Yeah, I know who you're talking about. He's on my husband's show a lot, and I love him. They're a different version of Republican and Democrat.

They're the old school version of that. They're conservatives and liberal. They're not Trump and everything else. Right, right, right. And I think there's a difference. I think, like, having, like, liberal versus conservative values, I think that there's, like, a lot more conversation there. But, like, for me, it would be really hard to allow a person—

And your reaction is your reaction. Your reaction is that you felt like someone punched you in the gut. Like, there you go. There's your reaction. I mean, if you're asking a question about it, then you're just, like, maybe looking for someone to tell you it's okay because you know that it's not for you. Yeah. Maybe? Yep.

Let's move on. Okay, Erica. I'm sorry. Also, I'm really, like, sorry, Erica. Yeah, I know. It's a bummer. It fucking sucks. But there's so many.

You know what? There are millions of people in this world, and you will find another one that shares the same values. There's millions of people right here in Los Angeles. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard to date here. I know. It is hard to date in Los Angeles, but it's okay.

It's hard to date. It's hard to date, period, for a lot of people. I mean, it was very, like, courageous of him to be honest with her. Was it? Yeah, maybe. The thing for me is, like, oh, I just didn't think about how it would affect other people. That, to me, is kind of a deal breaker amongst all of us. Or no, that it doesn't affect me.

Would you do it again? It's like me turning back Roe v. Wade doesn't affect me because I'm fucking 50. it affects yeah yeah yeah that i you know like i care about what happens to other women but that's even like a bigger conversation because that is even like about the whole idea of women's health care right so like roe v wade like abortion is one issue in the big huge umbrella of women's health care that they like can start to fucking chip away at and that's why it is so scary i think it's not just about like taking away our right to an abortion if you look at the statistics i know Planned Parenthood, it's like less than 5% of what they do is that, but it's going to start

to chip away at all the other healthcare that's provided for women who need it. And that's when it's really scary. And that's why it is small minded. Yeah. Small minded. You're not thinking about all the other things that go along with that. We could, yeah, we could continue. You do what you need to do, but that's what we think. Yeah. Well, our next question comes from Charlotte. Is this a caller? This is a caller. Okay. We need to put our headphones on. Okay. Okay. Do you know how to use headphones? I watched a YouTube video. Great. She says, Dear Chelsea, I could use some honest advice. I'm feeling like a bad wife,

but I'm finding it incredibly hard to be a strong and supportive partner in my current situation. Is this another Trump-er? No, no. My wife and I have been together for eight years, married for six, and we have a one-year-old daughter. She lost her job last year and has been actively searching and applying for any and all jobs, connecting with friends and family to see if they have any connections, recruiters, or anyone in our network. I've even gotten her some interviews, but for one reason or another, nothing has worked out. She's always been the breadwinner in our relationship, proudly so, and she used to cover most of our expenses, vacations, nice dinners,

all of it. Now that she's not making money, her confidence has clearly taken a toll and I can see her losing motivation. I've tried to love on her and lift her up, but I'm feeling frustrated and burnt out. This isn't the first time she's lost her job or been laid off. This is the fourth time in our relationship with large gaps of unemployment. I'm 31, and I want to live. Right now, we're living paycheck to paycheck on my income, and while I can almost cover us, I don't want this to be our new normal. I love her deeply and don't want to leave, but I also feel like I can't keep living like this. I've even considered moving out temporarily to give us both some space, but that also costs money, and I don't want to take her daughter away

from her. Some other good info to have, she takes care of our daughter full-time, except on Mondays and Wednesdays when I pay for daycare to give her time to job hunt. We have a 21-year age gap and we aren't getting any younger and I'm dying to have another kid. I can't even think about that until she's working again. Please help me, ladies. What do I do? Charlotte. Hi, Charlotte. Hi, Charlotte. This is our special guest, Judy Greer. Say hello. Hi. Oh, yeah, this is so exciting. Except for your question is breaking my heart. I know. Well, I have a question. Why has she been she's been fired four times? Yeah. What's going on there? I'm not going to say fired. I'm going say like laid off there has been circumstance there's been maybe one time she's actually been

fired um for ridiculous reasons i honestly like i don't know she's you know she's at the c-suite she's been a coo she's been a vp she's been like the head of everything that she's ever done so i she's honestly one of the smartest women i know she has a master's two bachelor's degrees she's very very smart so i'm not understanding now here we're at a year where she doesn't have a job why like why why can't she get a job did she get laid off from her last job or fired it was it was a mutual agreement okay mutual understanding is there a lawsuit involved no they signed something basically she got laid off after maternity leave oh okay yeah so they basically signed something where it's like all right i will leave as long as you pay for maternity leave for

three months, like pay for my maternity leave and then I'll leave. Oh, it sounds like she's might be depressed. Yeah. Do you think that that's what's happening? Definitely. Okay. She's trying every single thing. So how can I even like be like, all right, I'm going to leave. Like I can't do this anymore when she's trying. Yeah. But she's trying in which, in which ways is she trying? She is constantly, constantly interviewing. She's trying to do this like furniture business now, Or maybe she can, like, refurbish furniture to make some money on the side. And, like, she's trying to make that happen. It's not exactly happening.

She's been thinking about buying a business. She's, like, looked at businesses and possibly thinking, okay, maybe it's something that I can do. Like, she's trying every outlet. And you're losing your patience. Yeah, I am. Is it her attitude that is bringing you, like, is she, she's, so she's actively seeking employment and a job and a career path. but is what is bumming you out the fact that she hasn't attained one yet or that coupled with her outlook on life like it sounds so terrible but it says she hasn't found a job like i'm just

i feel like i'm sitting here and waiting for my life to start again i mean i don't know what it's like to have you have a one-year-old yeah i get that you don't want to leave her and i would never tell someone to leave their spouse but i think you have to start your own life like what like what do you want so the main thing you want to do is have another kid i mean yeah i want to have another kid but I also like want to like travel and like I'm creating this little girl's childhood and I want to do things with her I want to take her on vacation I want to show her the world right and we just can't do those things right now and it's like now I need to figure out like how do I like get in a better headspace of it is what it is until something happens well it's not it is what

it is I don't know that you're ready to call it quits on your relationship I don't I'm not getting that vibe I'm getting the vibe that you're very frustrated and you have every right to be like She hasn't figured out a job yet. She hasn't gotten hired. That's also not her fault necessarily. It does sound like she's trying really hard. I mean, it's not like she's sitting on her sofa for a year and just like, I don't feel like going on interviews.

That's the impression I got from your letter. And now speaking with you, it looks like she's really actively trying to figure something out. I do think you have to kind of figure out a different approach to the situation, how you're dealing it, and possibly how she's dealing with it. You know, to give a little bit more grace to the period she's in. she clearly wants a job and she just doesn't have one. So it's like you're kind of with somebody for the good and the bad. You know, if this were a three year thing, it would be different. I understand a year is a long time. But again, you have a small child. She's actively looking for

work and you're young and you're raring to go and you're ready to go. Yeah, she's quite a bit older than you, right? Yeah, she's 20 years older than me. Right. That's a pretty big age difference. Do you feel like that's going to be an issue for you in the future? Like, has that been an issue for you thus far no all of my friends are much older than me all the people I've ever dated have always been older that's just how I've connected with is there a world where like you could get a better job like are you I don't know what you do but like can you is there a world where your career like you could like both focus on your career and you maybe advancing and in that way and yeah kind of like taking over more of the breadwinner role so that

she I have thought about that and I have I do absolutely love my job so much right now and there is room for growth and I have grown a lot in my company but like for me it would be like a side gig so I would be taking up the time that I would be able to spend with my daughter I'd be making money and then if I'm making all this money I don't want to be supporting somebody that's just not who I am like one of the reasons I like older people is because they have their shit together and they can help me, support me, and help me grow. I'm thinking just right off the top of my head, and I don't know how useful this is, but I just feel like there's got to be a better way for you to support your partner during this time. She's not lying around. She's not a drug

addict. She's not a drunk. She's not doing any of those things, right? Right. Right. And you share a child. I think you should really try to feel like instead of looking at it in this way, you have every right to be frustrated, but you still want to be supportive and you want to be a supportive partner. Because if the situations or the roles were reversed, you wouldn't want somebody just going, oh, you haven't gotten a job in a year. I know we have a family together. I know we'd like, and I'm leaving. Like, that's just not the way it works. You have to have a little bit more room for things not to work out in the perfect way you want in the moment that you want. When you're dealing with another person, that's just the way it is. So I would say that you,

A, figure out a way and even sit down with her and go, how can we, how can I help you? Like, how can I be more supportive of you? Because I'm starting to get frustrated and all I want to do is, you know, help you get back on your feet. So what are the tools in which we can do this? And possibly even going to like couples counseling to figure out a way forward. And I know that sounds like, oh, that's just more money, but these are really good tools to have because it's not always going to be easy in your marriage and your relationship. But do you like, but like, let me ask you this. Do you want to be married to her? Yeah. You really, really do. Yeah. I love her. She's the, like the best wife and even a better mom. And I think about that too. And I'm

like, all right, if I were to leave when she got back on her feet, like I'd want to be with her again. Right. But, but think about what you're saying. You're just saying, you're just saying you don't want to be with someone while they're failing. Yeah. You want to, like, you have to want to be with her like for better or for worse and on the ups like yeah okay but I've been in this position four times with her that's the issue over what span of time eight years so like you cannot control other people you cannot change other people you can only control yourself you can only control yourself like it has to start with you so if you want more money and you want a bigger lifestyle and you want to travel you have to shift the focus onto yourself if you make a

good living if you have a great job you will be able to take time off and you'll be able to go on the trips with your daughter your daughter will benefit from having one parent at home all the time which you thought was going to be you maybe it's going to be her now like I think that like you can't change this other person no matter what like you marry somebody you're like I don't know what the future has in store for this person but like I'm hitching my wagon to you and I think like you have to kind of start working on yourself and you have to be like start to get really honest about what do you like how to get how can you yourself get the things that you want out of life and to Judy's point earlier it's not necessarily about getting a side hustle it's like maybe

talking to your boss right now about a raise you know taking steps within your own career to advance your career and I'll also say like she could get a new job tomorrow sometimes you're going to be pulling the cart sometimes she's going to be pulling the cart you guys are doing this together and I don't think it's between like well I really want to be with her and I'm leaving there are other options and other ways too. And I think like couples counseling has to be next on the list. I mean, if she was sick and she had to quit her job because she was very sick, you probably wouldn't feel this way. You know what I mean? Like the circumstances are that you, I think you just like want a little bit more right now. Yeah. You want a little bit more.

And you're also like, I think you have to really adjust your thinking and I, and how you do this is really just kind of, you can do it with a therapist. You can do it by like journaling and writing, and you can do it by actually having an open conversation with her about your true feelings. Have you done that? We've had some conversations, yes. I feel like a lot of the times I feel bad telling her that I'm feeling this way because she's feeling it tenfold. Right. And so it just feels like rude. You're piling on, kind of. Yeah. You think you're feeling bad. I am this 50-year-old woman that cannot get a job. What do you think? I can't provide for my family like I normally do. What do you think I'm feeling?

So it just feels like unfair to have those feelings. Yeah. I think this is a you problem. And now the more we talk about it, I really do. I think you have to adjust. I mean, listen, there might be, she might have her own set of problems, but I think you really have to adjust your expectations and what a relationship really means because it's supposed to be 50-50.

And you even said she was the breadwinner for many years. I understand she's been let go four times or laid off four times or fired somewhere in the middle of that, which is slightly odd. but you already said you love her. You want to be with her. You know what I mean? You're together. So you really have to figure out,

this is like a you inside job. You have to figure out how you're going to be more supportive towards her without talking to her about it. And how can you get the life that you want? Right. And do you both want the same life? Do you have the same long-term goals together?

Then you need to kind of figure out like, okay, with these circumstances right now, exactly as it is, like how do we start to achieve those goals now that we have these new facts. Maybe you might have to like move to a less expensive place. Maybe you might have to get a different job. Maybe you might have to go in and ask for a raise or something.

But I think maybe you need to take care of all three of you right now. Yeah, I think I'm thinking back what you said, Chelsea, is it's just like, how do I change my mindset? And how do I be more supportive when I'm so frustrated? Well, first of all, you should start journaling. And I don't mean journaling like writing everything down. You just get one of those like inner presence, inner now. There's all these inner ones that start with inner.

I do journal every day too. Gratitude where you wake up every morning and write down like three things that you're grateful for. It sounds corny, but if you put it into like action, you'll actually start to have a better, like you're going to be vibrating at a higher frequency. And you want to be vibrating at a higher frequency because she's vibrating at such a lower frequency, right?

Right now she's just in a rut. She's in a place that's not permanent. None of this is permanent. Even your feelings right in this moment aren't permanent. It's all temporary. And you have the power to adjust it. So you've got to be the bigger person. You know Mel Robbins, right?

Love. Okay, you know Mel's book. She talks about her husband was the breadwinner for many, many years. They were in debt, hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. Like $800,000. She was so depressed. She couldn't get out of bed. And then she created, look what she's done with herself.

She was upset with him and resentful of him because he wasn't earning the money. But she was like, yeah, wait a minute. And she's like, wait, why don't I fucking get up and do something? And she did something amazing. But first, I understand what you're saying about your attitude and like that you want to adjust it because I could see it. And you do need to adjust it. You need to be more loving. You need to be more compassionate.

And you also have to own it. Like this is on you. You know what I mean? You have to change the station. You can't expect her to change the dial. If you change the station, the best way to change people is by changing yourself. Yeah. Right?

That's an expression that's also old and corny but fucking true. so like I would really I would download one of these apps this isn't going to solve all your problems but it's taking a step in the right direction of positivity like you want to have a more positive vibe you don't want to dread having conversations with her you want to be bright and cheerful and lift other people up right especially her and your daughter and and you want to just create a different vibe in the house and that chemistry alone by you doing that and taking those actions then you write down like three ways you're going to make today great and what would what's something that could happen today that would change your day and make your day great?

Those are the questions and prompts that they ask you on these apps. And just by nature, the nature of repeating those things and those sentiments, you do kind of, it kind of buoys you and you start to understand and there starts to be more opportunity around you that you weren't seeing before. Because sometimes we can get so narrow and like sunken and like victim-like that we don't really see everything. There's also like a shit ton of cool stuff you can do for cheap. You can drive away for the weekend. You know what I mean? Like you can go camping for really cheap. Like I know you want to travel and show your daughter the world, but there's still a lot of stuff you can do on a budget right now that will teach your daughter to be creative, to like go

with the flow. Also, I think maybe, I don't know how often you talk about your wife's jobs and like what she's doing for it maybe you both need to say like one day a week we're going to talk about your job hunt unless there's real news let's not talk about it every day let's talk about it on saturday mornings over coffee and then it doesn't become like every single day this topic that is like hanging over you because you've decided unless there's really something to share one day a week is the hour that we don't talk about anymore unless there's like something really happening we don't yeah i mean is that how's that is that better maybe it's better to talk about it now that you're saying that I'm thinking now that like I need to be more like yay like you have an

interview like let's go like instead of like all right or do you guys share a calendar you could share a calendar and then she could like kind of write on account like you could see what's going on it would be a way to like share it without necessarily like having to say like how did the interview go I remember when I first started acting I started by telling my parents every time I had an audition and then every time I didn't get it I had to then go and tell my parents I didn't get the part and it fucking sucked. But like now I think like, you know, they were so sweet. They cared so much, but I just ended up like cutting them out of that whole process completely

because it was too hard for me. But I think, you know, in your situation, like maybe if there's like a board where she could write down, I don't know. I think you guys should both start this. I think you should do this as a couple, the journaling thing. I think you should do it together as an activity. You bring it up, go, hey, listen, we want to get like, we're not in the right vibe right now.

Like I want things to be better around here. I want to help you get a job. I want to be as supportive as possible. I called into Dear Chelsea. This is what we, let's do this together. Will you do it at night before you go to bed and you do it in the morning when you wake up and then you guys can do that. You have something like an activity that's kind of bonding together.

And that way, when she has a job interview coming up, she can be putting positive energy towards that. And also you can be like, what would make today great? The answer is my partner having a great interview, a great job interview today, my partner getting a job today, all of those things. but like in a very supportive way you know what I mean like an adaptive strategy rather than like a maladaptive one she might also benefit from you asking her to help you try to get ahead in your career like maybe it would make her feel good to start to like help you try to get a raise get a

promotion get a like climb the ladder maybe get a different job at a different company and what you're doing that you like so much it's like a little bit maybe she would feel really good about helping you do that. I don't know. I don't know about that book. Well, she's 50. She's not 100. She's going to get another job. You know what I mean? So just don't write her off. But I do think start with the small steps of just creating a better vibe in the house because however you're feeling is something that you're emoting without knowing it. You know what I mean? If you're having negative feelings about her situation and about her not bringing in money, I am sure she's well aware of it. So just to change the channel and go, okay, we're going to put on a nice fun show

for a little, you know, for the next few weeks. And we're all, and then it's also another line of communication between the two of you to kind of share that like experience of journaling. Like, oh, this is really corny. I don't know what to say. What am I grateful for? Your daughter. What are you grateful for? Your job, the house, the roof over your head, whatever, you know, the food that you ate that morning. You can be grateful for a good TV show. Just trust me to start doing that and just take little steps in the right direction. Instead of thinking, I'm not getting what I want. Think about how you're going to get what you want. Yeah, you can do that. That's easy.

Check in with us in a few months, will you? And let us know what's happening. Okay. We'll do. All right. Thanks, Charlotte. Okay. Thanks, Charlotte. Very brave. Yeah. Thanks. Bye. it's so interesting with couples not getting what like you want but also knowing that you

want to stay you know what I mean like saying okay this is nice when she said that I was so happy to hear that because it was like it she really did and it's very easy like like for someone who just like wants Chelsea Handler to tell them to walk away from their marriage like you could tell that you were the one who was about to do that Judy you were you were quite Because I was really honestly feeling like she was trying to get us to say to go. I didn't feel that way, though. I totally felt that way from her. I felt like she just wanted permission to go.

And if that's the case, like, I just feel like people just go. Leaving this marriage will be just as hard as waiting out the joblessness. I feel like in this specific situation. I don't know. She's pretty hot. I know she was very hot. I feel like if that is hard. But they also have a one-year-old. Yeah.

That's not pleasant. That's way harder to leave. Right? I mean, you want to get up and leave that. That's like a big... It sounded like she would be taking that child with her because she said, I don't want to take her daughter away from her.

Right, right. So she has thought about it because she already has a scenario. Yeah. But I think when you're very married to this idea of what your life is going to look like, that's tough, man. It becomes like very...

Remember like in Goodfellas when he comes home from jail and he like walks into the apartment that she's been living in and they're all like in bunk beds in one room and he's like, what the fuck? And she was just like, hey, you don't remember that? And she's like, hey, things have been going great.

She's like, oh, here we are. And he's like, what? But like she didn't, she like signed up for like fancy mob husband. But she made it work. Right. And then she got rewarded for it. Yeah. Except for then they all went to jail.

Okay. We're going to take a break. We'll be right back to wrap up with Judy. Behind every night spent making the kids lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers?

Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying,

Shut up. Don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place.

Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us.

Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman. Not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? how about we flip it on its head how about we flip the script what if the surprise woman

who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show I would never expect

I would never set expectations for something like that to happen if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this

So everyone's so dumb and fake, right? Fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back with Judy Greer. Judy, what a pleasure it's been. You're so entertaining. It's been really fun. I feel like I failed a little on the advice portion. No, you did great. Very cerebral. I'm very afraid.

No, you're afraid. I'm afraid of like telling people what to do, even though that's all I want to do with my life. But I'm like, ooh. But yeah, you felt the fear and you did it anyway. A real therapist or a real psychologist doesn't really tell you what to do. They know, and that's why we're there for years. yeah because like what if they are like break up with him yeah yeah i would have loved for people

to tell me that throughout the years with different relationships yes even like in couples i had once once a therapist as i was leaving with my boyfriend grabbed my arm and said get away from him as quickly as possible and i broke up with him the next morning whoa i was like thank you got one more good night out of it i was like well i had to get my things together we were living together i was like oh shit but i was like if a stranger told me that if a stranger grabbed my arm and said that someone who has no you know has nothing at stake no skin in the game had said that to me i would be an idiot to not listen to her like she knows better you know that's how i looked at it and she did she was right so on that note judy has two movies that you can watch well she

has about a 5 000 movies that you can watch but two new movies one is the long walk and then the Next one is called Dead of Winter. Starring Emma Thompson. Oh, yeah. Emma, I love her. Oh, my God. She's the best. I once went to a Bruce Springsteen concert with her in London.

Not with her, but we were all in the same area. Wait, she needs to be on this podcast. She's amazing. She's amazing. She's like Cate Blanchett level. Like, those two. Oh, my God. I love both of those.

I'm just thinking of other British actresses that I love. But all British people. Why? Because there's just them. Yeah. Just kidding. There's probably loads. But, I mean, she is...

Yeah. Did you did you have a good time with her? Yeah. Yeah. She's so cool. She is so cool. Smart. She doesn't mince words. She's kind to people. Yes. Forty nine. I learned so much from her. I felt like I grew up just being around her for two months. What did you what do you think you learned from her? Well, she's nice. She's kind to people. But she has a lot of integrity and she treats people the way that she would want to be treated. But, like, she's not afraid of being disliked. She is patient until it's time to not be patient. And she's not a doormat. I guess it's because so much of, like, my psyche is, like, wrapped up in, like, I want to be liked, you know? Especially on the set. people pleasing yes yes yes and like i watched how she managed people and relationships on set and it was really it was inspirational because she was kind to people without being desperate to be liked yeah wow so i believe her yeah yeah i like really believed her in a way that sometimes when you're like you don't necessarily believe the person that's like so nice all the time yeah i agree with that the end about emma that's our episode guys dear chelsea we believe

the word of the week is coterie noun a small group of people with shared interests or tastes especially one that is exclusive of other people coterie also a brand of highly absorbent diaper coterie i just announced all my tour dates they just went on sale this week it's called the high and Mighty Tour. I will be starting in February of next year. So I will be touring from February through June. I haven't added second shows yet, but we probably will be to some of these. So go get your tickets now. If you want good seats and you want to come see me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour. Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by

searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel.

I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get in. Well, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more.

And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.