Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Eventually Good Advice with Justin Long

Episode Date: May 19, 2022

Justin Long joins Chelsea to talk about mistaken identities, falling in love, and the underappreciated value of a Smartcar.  Then: A 19-year-old wants to step outside her relationship for some se...xploration.  A sommelier struggles with her dad’s wedding one-upmanship.  And a wife stumbles across some unexpected sexts on her husbands phone.  Do you need advice from Chelsea? Send us your question at: DearChelseaProject@gmail.com   * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
Starting point is 00:00:41 Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us.
Starting point is 00:01:14 Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself
Starting point is 00:01:35 because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. if your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality welcome home pro society is a weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for anyone
Starting point is 00:02:05 who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, everybody. Hi, Katherine. How are you? Hi, I'm doing great.
Starting point is 00:02:30 I love your Dear Chelsea hat and that you wear it now every episode. Thank you. It's my new look. I know. It's very vivacious. And I love the coloring. Yeah, our Dear Chelsea merch is available on ChelseaHandler.com. We are in California, back in our studio.
Starting point is 00:02:45 This is a very exciting time to be alive. We have a guest today. We have some letters that you wanted to go over, right? Some write-ins. You know what? We got an update from our caller, Alexa, whose parents had started dating each other again after her dad had cheated. She was the one who caught her dad having an affair while trying to take that test,
Starting point is 00:03:08 and her parents had split up and were dating again, and she found it really yucky. But she says, hi, Chelsea. I hope you're doing well. I wanted to thank you both and Tinks for taking the time to speak with me and provide insight on my situation. I took your advice and stopped letting my parents' situation weigh so heavily on me. Since then, I've been able to repair my relationship with my dad. Awesome. We're making plans for the future to cook together since we're both foodies and even go to a Haim concert.
Starting point is 00:03:37 Oh, wow. My family and I. I think it's Haim. Is it Haim? I think so. Go to a Haim concert. They once sang a song in my garage for my last TV show. That's fun.
Starting point is 00:03:48 And I think I called them Haim and was corrected. But you know what? I'm usually fucking wrong, so. Well, I appreciate it. So we made plans to go to a Haim concert. My family and I have been able to have more meaningful and intentional conversations, and we're showing up for one another in ways we haven't before. Life is too short to let things affect you that are out of your control.
Starting point is 00:04:11 I greatly appreciate all you do and hope you come back to Florida for a show soon. Although I don't blame you if you don't want to come back to this dumpster fire of a state. Alexa. Oh, well, that's a cute update. That's a cute update. We should do actually show updates also. I added a show in Saratoga at Mountain Winery that is coming up this summer. I added two shows in Nashville on June 10th.
Starting point is 00:04:33 And I'm also coming to Niagara Falls. And I'll be at the Montreal Comedy Festival hosting a gala on July 28th. And you can go to ChelseaHandler.com for tickets for all my upcoming shows. Because I'm going to Birmingham, Alabama and Louisville, Kentucky and all sorts of fun stops. You're going everywhere. When you're doing that many shows, do they all kind of blur together? No, I pretty much remember because I'm no longer shit-faced when I perform. So I have more clarity.
Starting point is 00:04:59 And I pretty much remember every show like I remember. And it is always those smaller towns that you're like, wait, what? That ended up being kind of the best show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So just like Alexa said in her letter, life's too short to let things like that bother you. I think that's a great segue into our guest today, who has a podcast called Life is Short. Oh, yeah. I've been on his podcast. He has a podcast called Yes, I've been I've been a guest
Starting point is 00:05:23 on his podcast. I actually had a great time because I had never met him before then. So that was awesome. And he also stars in the show F is for Family on Netflix. So please welcome Mr. Justin Long. Catherine, guys, Chelsea. Hey. Good morning. Good. What do you think? Was that your impression of me knowing that I was going to scramble for an excuse and start? No, that was just my reaction to you. I'm glad you made your bed behind you because that looks like you somewhat have your shit together. Well, I'm going to give you a little gift because I'm late and this is unprofessional,
Starting point is 00:06:04 Totally unprofessional by the way I've never been late once in my life And I know that a lot of people would find that hard to believe But it's actually fucking true I don't know if the totally unprofessional part was necessary I think just unprofessional covers It all I was just trying to
Starting point is 00:06:20 Fill in something in place of 100% So totally That's the latest Well if you watch The Bachelor it's 1000% Oh right There's a higher percentage A million percent has become more tolerable than 100%. Yes, I would expect it.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Infinity percent is what they should land on, I think. I just don't love catchy lingo, Justin. Like, I don't like trendy bullshit. I don't like when people say obsessed or dead. I'm obsessed with her. Dead, I'm dead. She's an icon. I fucking hate dead.
Starting point is 00:06:54 I hate dead. It's also a horrible thing to, laughter should be a joy. It's a great part of life. living well it's lol now you can't even you can't even laugh you just have to say lol which i'll deadpan which i refuse to participate in good what about slaps i've heard this one recently slaps no i haven't heard that yet does that mean funny yeah i think i worked with this producer who was great the movie's great but she was she was in her mid-20s late 20s 27 28 and she would use this language so casually and she said slaps and it was hard for me to tell
Starting point is 00:07:29 because the tone that she used it in was like you just did with dad. It's just like, there's nothing joyous about it. So she just said, oh, that slaps. That slaps. Very deadpan. Oh, like not even about a song or something? It was about something like that. It was a good thing.
Starting point is 00:07:45 It turned out to be a positive thing. That's dope. By the way, we sound really old. I mean. Well, we are old. Listen, just fucking face it, you know? I like being old. I'm 47.
Starting point is 00:07:54 The other morning I woke up and I was like, 38 is such a cool age. Like, I'm not yet 40. And then I'm like, bitch, you're 47. What are you talking about? Like, I just had this idea that I was all of a sudden 38 years old. That makes sense. I mean, mentally, you probably feel much closer to that. How old are you, Justin?
Starting point is 00:08:12 I'm 43. 43. But I've been identifying as an older person lately when I, you know, that commercial, I think it's Geico. It's a really funny commercial. They're like, don't turn into your parents. Don't be like your parents. And there's a guy who has to instruct the younger people to not be prematurely older than they are. and and there's a whole thing about they go to a game and and they they forget where they parked
Starting point is 00:08:31 and they just talk about parking the whole time and when they're going to leave the game anyway i identify i find myself really identifying with that commercial wanting to thank the clerk wanting to point out how nice the store clerk was that helped me out wow what i've been saying young man what a nice young man i've been saying yeah yeah you know you find yourself like complimenting the work ethic of a younger generation noticing it yeah yeah well we've been making fun of all younger generations for a while especially gen x right about their laziness gen z is see i don't know the differences between all these generations but the laugh will be they'll get the last laugh obviously because they will outlive us right and save the planet and and hopefully save the planet
Starting point is 00:09:15 And I wonder how much of my hostility is fueled by just that, just the biological truth that I will be dying sooner than them. Yeah, anyone who's over 40 is basically useless to the rest of the world because before the tech age, we had to like, you know, educate the next generation and kind of let them know what heads up this is. But now with Google and with all the information that's at everyone's fingertips, they don't need anybody. They just need a computer or a phone. And I mean, computers will even become obsolete for most people at a certain point. So we're irrelevant. We just have no merit on
Starting point is 00:09:56 society at this point. So like, you know, that's true. Everything's at their fingertips. I didn't think about that. They didn't, they don't need to look to an older generation to learn anything for wisdom. That's true. I never thought about that. Yeah. I was just with a friend. She was just talking about how much her culture respects the elderly and how Japanese no she wasn't Japanese so it was uh Filipino yeah maybe Filipino I'm stereotyping I'm positively stereotyping yes exactly always just how much they respect you know the older generation and how when you see somebody who's old they have knowledge to impart with you they're sagacious they're they're revered yes write that down s-a-g-a-c-i-o-u-s yeah I like that thank you and you can look it up when we're
Starting point is 00:10:39 done and how much they revere older people. And I was thinking, God, you're so right about how American society, and it's not every family, but how I look at somebody who's a certain age and I dismiss them. Like they're too old school. They don't understand. They're not with it. They're not woke enough. They don't get it. They're antiquated. And I thought, oh, that's exactly true. Like I dismiss someone who's too old because I think that their value has lessened, Even though I know intellectually that's not right. Oh, I'm sure I've done that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:12 I like to think in theory that I have great respect for the elderly. It's one of the reasons I love Japan. I love cultures that do revere the wisdom. Well, the elderly are only in Japan. So that's why you feel that way. They're mostly elderly in Japan because I think they've stopped having sex for the most part. You should double check that. I will.
Starting point is 00:11:29 Before this goes down. I'm so sorry. I don't know your name. This is Catherine. This is Catherine. Hi. Oh, okay. Hi.
Starting point is 00:11:35 You did say it earlier. So, you know, I saw you on a little you're on a there's an I there's a thing of you. There's a picture of you. Great. That's really my fault for not introducing her. I mean, she's my co-host. So that's just my rudeness. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:47 So classic Chelsea. Nice to meet you. Well, nice to meet you. Yeah. Justin, I was talking about your podcast because I had such a good time on your podcast. And we had never met before that. Right. No, we hadn't.
Starting point is 00:11:59 We I had. Yes. I was thinking about that as I was scrambling to get here to your bedroom. I just got a car. I just bought a car. Oh, I didn't know you had your license. Speaking of being older, yes, I have my license. I'm an old-looking, young-looking person.
Starting point is 00:12:20 I'm at a strange age where I look like an old teenager. Yeah, you do look like an older teenager. Like a really, really mature, seasoned teenager. Like a human in high school for like seven years. Possibly eight and a half Parker Lewis can lose That's a joke for our generation See I watched that show though
Starting point is 00:12:42 I will synchronize my swatch with you I had older siblings But I loved that show Wow I'm surprised That you remember that show I don't mean that in a condescending way We had some good TV back in the day We sure did
Starting point is 00:13:03 celebrate the biggest jonas brother hits that have defined a generation one incredible celebration one unforgettable night see the jonas brothers live at rbc amphitheater september 28th get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca jonas brothers the burning up tour all over again When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.
Starting point is 00:13:55 I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.
Starting point is 00:14:45 I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations,
Starting point is 00:15:14 or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus
Starting point is 00:15:35 or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people
Starting point is 00:15:57 and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:16:28 I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts, you go with it. And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now-husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:17:14 He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You'll like this, Chelsea and Catherine. Chelsea, I know you'll like it. I just bought a, and you're the first person I'm telling because I just bought it and I have shame about it and I need to say it with confidence, but I am now the owner of a smart
Starting point is 00:17:45 car. Goodbye, everyone. Thank you. I thought you were going to say a Bill Cosby Funko. What's that? It's a little like toy thing that people love Funkos and you can buy them and they like represent different celebrities or athletes, blah, blah, blah. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:17:59 Oh. And there's a Bill Cusp. Yeah, I had a smart car. I just want to let you know. Really? What kind of car? Wait, what kind of smart car? Is it called a smart car?
Starting point is 00:18:08 Yeah, it's a 2014 smart, the two-seater. Like the little nugget cars. Yeah, the little nuggets, the little blueberry. You know what? I bought one, and I gave it away because it drove so slowly and was so ridiculous. But before I gave it away, I emblazoned. Yeah, so congratulations on your new car. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:18:25 Hopefully, it's not the one that I sold. Actually, I gave it away to a friend. And on the side, I had decals that said Chelsea Lately 1130 weeknights on E because at the time I was on that show. So my friend was driving around L.A. in a car that was basically a commercial for my show. That's really funny. What a good friend. It's funny that you gave that to a friend.
Starting point is 00:18:48 Well, I tried that car because I thought it was so cute. And I love little, small, super small-sized things. Like, I get off on that. I love, like, little miniature things. Me too. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that about you. That's cute.
Starting point is 00:19:01 That's why I like Japan, I think. But I'm excited to drive. So I'm going to, and in New York, I've always fantasized about having a car that can fit into almost any fucking space. Are you, so are you based out of New York, Justin? I am mostly in Connecticut and Massachusetts. I kind of go back and forth. Oh, and Japan.
Starting point is 00:19:18 And Japan, ideally. That would be, yeah, that's the triangle. Connecticut and Massachusetts. Now that's interesting. What, why? What goes on there? Well, not much, which is why I love it. I was born in Fairfield.
Starting point is 00:19:34 So I grew up in Fairfield, rather. And I kind of wanted to be closer to my parents as they got older. Because you respect them? I respect them. Because you're Japanese. Yes, I might be. I wish I was. I wish, you know, I've never done one of those ancestry things.
Starting point is 00:19:47 But were I to do that, I would really hope that I had some Japanese. You know what? I could see you having some Japanese in you. That wouldn't be too far-fetched. It's a huge compliment. You're welcome. I was once arrested. I lived in Santa Monica, right by the beach. I live between ocean and main street. And I lived on a street that was quite crowded. It was hard to find parking and
Starting point is 00:20:06 stuff. And houses were kind of stacked on each other. And I rented the bottom floor of this house. Anyway, I got a knock at the door at like, it was, it was one in the morning, I think. And I shuffled to the door and there were, I saw three cops on my, on my porch. And I looked out and they were really banging, you know, pretty aggressively. And I, but I knew enough not to open the door right away. I said, I said, what's the, what's the problem officers from behind the door? And they said, your car's blocking a driveway. And which is very plausible because people were always complaining about stuff like that. But I was a pretty respectful Parker. And so I said, well, what kind of car is that? And I was kind of confused. Like, how would they know
Starting point is 00:20:42 it was my car? Why are there three cops? And I said, what kind of car is it? And they said, well, what kind of car do you drive? Which should have been an indication. I said, a Prius. And they said, it's a Prius. And I said, okay, you know, not thinking the cops are going to lie. i opened the door and they grabbed me and spun me around and put me in handcuffs right away really aggressive and one was particularly aggressive and they said what is your name david they kept saying david your name david your name david and i said no no it's not i'm a little freaked out but i i kind of knew i hadn't done anything there was weed in the house but other than that like i knew i had i wasn't like dealing it wasn't like you know pounds of it so i knew i
Starting point is 00:21:18 i was in the should be in the clear but you know it's still intimidating and they kept asking me if I was this person and there were three of them and two were shining their lights on something, they were conferring around some photo and they kept shining it back and forth from the light. I mean, from the photo to my face. And, and finally I said, my name's Justin Long. It's not Dave, you know? And they said, are you telling us that this isn't you? And they, they showed me the photo and it was a mugshot of, of an Asian person with fully Asian. It was like unmistakably Asian.
Starting point is 00:21:47 And I said, are you, are you kidding? Is this a joke? I, It was around the time of punk, but they were way too good to be. So that wasn't even on my radar. I was just so confused. He had glasses. I had glasses. And he said, are you telling me that you just happen to have similar looking glasses in the same? I guess he had put that address years ago.
Starting point is 00:22:05 My landlord had rented it out. He was a criminal. And I kept insisting that I wasn't the guy. And they didn't believe me. And so they went in to get my license. I told them where to go. And I was living with Jonah Hill, who was my roommate at the time. And they were walking toward his room.
Starting point is 00:22:17 So they went past where my license was on the desk. And I stood up and I said, oh, no, no, no, officer, you're going too far. I didn't want them to wake up, Jonah, you know. And one of the cops just, he threw me down. He goes, sit the fuck down. Shut the fuck up. And when I'm nervous around authority, I kind of started to laugh. I get like giggly.
Starting point is 00:22:36 I get like nervously giggly. I was like, oh, okay. And he goes, oh, you think this is funny? It's not going to be funny when he was like going on about prison and how you're going to be and things are going to happen to you in prison. And I said, well, it's a little funny because you're going to find out that I'm not the guy you think I am. I'm not an Asian criminal. And then hopefully we'll all laugh about it. Did you at any point say, I'm not Asian?
Starting point is 00:22:56 This person is Asian? Yes, I did. I did. And they ignored that. But they persisted. They insisted I was this guy. And so then one was calling in my ID and obviously realizing that I wasn't the criminal. And the one who had been most aggressive at one point got kind of quiet.
Starting point is 00:23:14 and i could see him studying my face and he goes yo are you wait a minute are you an actor and i said yes and i'm there i'm so i got the handcuffs on and he goes were you in dodgeball and i said yes and he goes bro bro and he went like that to like give me a man hug shake and i was like well i got the cuffs on i can't and so you know then they realized i wasn't the guy they and they and and the strange thing was they i said well then i was of course freaked out well what did this guy do and is he going to come back to the house is he going to be he's given out the address as his and they think wouldn't tell me what he did and they said if you have any and then but i was also starting to think like well wait a minute there's been some violation like something was not doesn't
Starting point is 00:23:56 add up about what just happened there's this can't be the way it shouldn't go down i said is there a number i can call if whatever he comes back and he gave me the number it was a general number to the santa monica police department i called the next day and they had no idea what i was talking about why did i tell you that because you're explaining why you live in massachusetts and connecticut yes so a couple days later no it was about you said i could be maybe japanese a couple days later jonah and i were at a bar in renee's shout out i don't know if it's still there in santa monica i used to go there all the time you did yeah yeah that's why i did that's where i did the majority of my drugs in my 20s was at renee's yes oh my god i think that's mostly
Starting point is 00:24:37 what's done there um but we we were there and a very lovely asian woman she said so what percentage asian are you and i i started laughing and jonah was laughing because he had of course heard the story of the cops and what happened a couple days earlier and i said oh did he tell you the story and she goes i don't know what you're talking about and i realized he hadn't told her and i said oh no no i'm not i'm not asian she goes no come on seriously what are you like 50 25 and i said i'm i wait i'm not i'm not i'm italian i'm sure she goes you know what that's fucked up i have a lot of mixed friends like you and they refuse to admit that they're mixed and i think that's really fucked up she kind of stormed away joan was laughing so hard but i i and i said to
Starting point is 00:25:22 i wish i would gladly embrace that yeah i love asian culture i love sounds like you're the victim of a lot of misunderstanding like a lot of ethnic misunderstandings yes that's safe to say Within a couple days. It was really funny. What about your brother, though? Does he look slightly Asian? He's Asian. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Well, there you go. No, he's, I think, I don't know what it, no, we all, yeah, look, I guess, similar. You look very similar to your brother. I do. I did light Instagram creeping, just, of course, as research. I'm on your Instagram. I follow you guys on Instagram, and you guys do look alike. I love following Chelsea, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:59 What about Catherine? Do you follow Catherine Justin? I don't. Up until today, I was unaware of her existence. That sounds awful. Well, I will say, Justin, just to be extra creepy, I actually did know that you drive a Prius because I live sort of near Franklin Village.
Starting point is 00:26:14 We used to see you driving around near Prius all the time. Also, I'm pretty sure I literally ran into you at Gelson's one time, like physically. Did his Prius have Chelsea Lately emblazoned on the side? You know what? It did. It did. That's weird. It did. Yeah, I know. I know. I didn't know how to break that news. Must be such a big fan.
Starting point is 00:26:29 I was a fan. I was a fan. Wait, what did you say about Gelson's? That's something you had run into? Oh, you were actually, when I first moved to L.A. like 10 years ago, you were like one of my first celebrity sightings. And I was like, I saw him at the grocery store. Oh, man, that's funny. It's funny to know people are thinking that. Chelsea, do you ever think that's going on in their head, that you are somehow, that they know you?
Starting point is 00:26:51 Yeah, I don't. You know what? I always, no, no, I don't. I don't ever think that. And I'm always like, anytime someone's like, hi, Chelsea. Hi, Chelsea. I'm always just like, what are they talking about? And then I'm like, oh, shit, you're famous.
Starting point is 00:27:03 Well, I assume because people often do that to me and they do it so casually and they're so nonplussed as they should be. I'm not saying they should be freaking out, but they do it in such a way that's so familiar that I often think I know them. You know, it'll be like, hey, Justin. Hey, Justin, what's up? And I start panicking. How do I know this person? I'm trying to place the face. I'm so bad with names.
Starting point is 00:27:26 And sometimes it'll get a couple sentences in and I'll have to say, I'm so sorry. Do we know each other? And they'll say, no, no, I know who you are. Because it's rarely like excited and it's clear that, yeah, nor should it be, I guess. I love Franklin Village. I miss that area. Yeah, it's great. The Oaks is back.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Yeah. Things are opening up. Yeah, Pubelle. Oh, yeah. They have Escargot. I love Pubelle. Escargot. Oh, when you first ate Escargot, Chelsea, did you have to?
Starting point is 00:27:55 Was there a moment of like leaping off the cliff? I like gross food like that because I grew up on Martha's Vineyard and I ate fried clams and escargot and like all the muscles since I was a little girl because my mom really liked that stuff. So I've always been into that kind of stuff. But I understand that people are very disgusted by it. Well, it's funny because they shouldn't be. I think this way about other animals, eating other animals like that.
Starting point is 00:28:21 You're right. If you can stomach a clam. So my thing with clams is that I've never been able to get past the whole body situation. The fact that the entire digestive tract, all of it is going into your mouth. That's a hard one for me. Oh, yeah. Oysters. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:28:38 Right. It's fun to watch someone eat an oyster for the first time. Uh-huh. And especially if they have a good reaction, which is seldom. Yeah. It's not always great because usually people are like, whoa. they have a preconditioned idea of the texture that they find revolting it is to me yeah slippery and snotty how many people have turned off have stopped listening uh anyway justin let's move on
Starting point is 00:29:02 to sorry chelsea before i'm sorry speaking of instagram i have to ask you about the skiing one that you did this is the naked skiing what please tell me the story surrounding that well it's my birthday video i do this every year oh and each year i i think the first year i had a ski jacket it on but i had underwear and socks and ski boots obviously because i need the boots on then the second year i decided fuck it you know what what let me just ski down the hill topless with some underwear on because you know my brothers are still alive so they don't need to see my pikachu where is this where are you doing whistler canada i have a ski place up in whistler so i love skiing it's like my everything and i and i love a margarita and a joint and so i
Starting point is 00:29:42 implemented the ski video and I just kind of up it each year. So this year we went into the back country and we took our sleds up, you know, ski dues. Wow. That's serious. And I have Joe this year because you know, I'm newly in love and yes, and he was there. So I had to incorporate him into the video. And so we had to do a proper shoot and I love it. I loved it. Joe seems very playful. I love how playful you two seem with each other. It's very inspiring. Well, thank you. I know that you're newly in love as well, Justin. So I want to say a big congratulations to you. Yes. And she loves you. She is a really big fan of yours personally. I like her as well. Am I allowed to say her name? Is that okay? Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of out there. Kate Bosworth is who you're
Starting point is 00:30:29 dating and it's a new love affair. And I was really excited to hear about you being in love. So tell me a little bit about that, because I just want to know how you're feeling. I mean, you must be through. I know that I know the feeling. I feel it, too. And it's pretty intoxicating. It is. It's such a wonderful feeling that you are so open.
Starting point is 00:30:52 I love how open you are with your happiness and your joy. But there's something about it for me that I feel like I need to protect and keep sacred because it feels sacred. It's just the best. You know it's the best. Catherine, I don't know what your situation is. Yes. Married for a long time. Oh, good.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Still in love. Still in love. It's different. Well, look at us, the three of us. I know, just thriving as elderly people, basically. Yeah, elderly folks in love. but it's um we've been laughing so much and I've never had anything like this before I've never experienced this so it's something I want to protect and keep you know you know her so you
Starting point is 00:31:33 know how amazing she is yeah yeah she is amazing and I respect that I totally get that you want to protect that it's a funny feeling because it is something you want to shout from the rooftops I know I know and for me whenever Joe and I like have an argument or anything like that I'm like fuck why was i so public about it what if we break up like i'm sitting here shouting from the rooftops how madly in love i am with this man and then if it falls apart at the seams i'm going to basically be there sitting you know no one's ever going to believe me about being in love again so i totally get it i get that you know that is the smart move i'm just so open and over sherry that that's my personality no zero chelsea zero judgment i in fact i'm one of the people that
Starting point is 00:32:16 i bask in your the glow of your love i before i found my own i was so happy for you and it was inspiring to me to like find somebody that you really laughed with you seem to really enjoy one another i i had never really been able to distill what it all is and you know people say well what are you looking for and people have checklists and i've done movies about it and it's really like satisfying to be able to distill it down to just really enjoying somebody's company and wanting to be near them. And like I said, we just laugh so much. I feel so grateful.
Starting point is 00:32:48 And I know that instinct. I have that instinct to like shout it from the rooftops. I really do. So it's the reason why I'm kind of gingerly stepping around it is because I'm going against that instinct, which I totally get it. I think the moral of the story, without getting into details about your relationship,
Starting point is 00:33:05 is that for me, it was very inspiring, not only to other people, but to myself to fall in love at this age and to meet the person. Well, even though I knew him, but to fall in love at 46, you know, there was a period of time where I really just assumed that like, I was too tough for any man to have to deal with. Like it was just going to be too much of a, of a hill to climb for any man. And I accepted that like, okay, that's not what I'm going to get in this life. I've gotten a lot of things and I have a great family. I have a great group of friends and a great network and maybe that's all I get and that's okay. I'm going to be grateful.
Starting point is 00:33:37 But isn't that the best place to be when it does then enter your life? I mean, I think I was in a similar situation. I hadn't totally resigned myself to it, but I was so happy. I was so content being on my own. And I had a great network of friends and my brother. We were creative. We were being creative. I was close with my family. I didn't feel this pressure of having to find something, having to make something work. I just, I was really content with life. I was really quite satisfied with where I was. And I guess that's the most open place you can be. Yeah, I think you have to be in a healthy place to attract a healthy person, right? I think so. Yeah, I don't know. You have to be happy with yourself and you have to have self-love and self-care. Like, I have a lot of respect for myself, probably more so than everybody else.
Starting point is 00:34:24 You know what I mean? Well, that's healthy. So in order for someone to grab my attention, they have to have that same amount of respect, A, for themselves and B, for me, you know? Totally. Well, because you think, what's the point? When you are good in life, when you are settled, whatever that means. But I mean, just being happy with yourself.
Starting point is 00:34:41 I guess it's that. Then you think, well, why change it? To change it, it requires something like exceptionally positive, I think. Like a truly positive change in life and one that you can't avoid. That is unmistakable, I think. And so I've experienced that positive change and I'm so grateful. And I just hope it keeps going. Well, great.
Starting point is 00:35:02 On that note, I think we're going to take some callers because you're going to impart your wisdom, your lifelong wisdom that you've learned, your life-learned wisdom. And we're going to have people, some will be writing in, some will be calling in, and we're just going to give them advice, life advice. People take this podcast pretty seriously, Justin. Even though you're on it, they're still going to take it seriously. Wow. Okay.
Starting point is 00:35:24 We'll see. You got to bring your A game, okay? Okay. I will try. Okay. Catherine's going to start for us. What do we have? Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:29 First of all, give us a prelude of what we have in store for us today. Oh, my goodness. Actually, some wedding stuff, interestingly. And there's a couple of questions that I wanted really to get a straight guy's perspective on. Because we don't have a lot of straight men as guests on this show. Okay. Yes, yes. And some, like, general life stuff, which I feel like is great, works right with what your podcast has to do with.
Starting point is 00:35:54 Straight men are often not called upon these days. Straight men's advice is often invalid. So that's why we keep that to a dull minimum. I bet. This is a very small part of the show. Yeah. I think we've had Joe Coy and you this season. I'm flattered.
Starting point is 00:36:11 I'm flattered. That's good company. Yeah, you are in good company. All right. We're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back. The Jonas Brothers are running it back. We live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brother hits that have defined a generation one incredible celebration one unforgettable night see the
Starting point is 00:36:35 jonas brothers live at rbc amphitheater september 28th get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca jonas brothers the burning up tour all over again when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories
Starting point is 00:37:34 about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club,
Starting point is 00:37:59 part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.
Starting point is 00:38:14 I'm gonna have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community
Starting point is 00:38:36 of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. First, I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.
Starting point is 00:39:16 Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it. And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now-husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family.
Starting point is 00:40:38 It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. and we're back with our guests today justin long and katherine and we are going to hear our first email yes it's an email dear chelsea as wedding season fast approaches my husband and i have entered what feels like an impossible situation we have two weddings on the same day one is for a family friend my husband has known since he was a small child all of his friends will be there and we've been looking forward to it all year. However, the other wedding my husband has been requested to be a groomsman in. We don't know any of the other attendees. And on top of that,
Starting point is 00:41:26 I will be nine months pregnant. So we don't even really know if we'll be able to attend at all. What do we tell the second wedding? It's a friend who was also a groomsman in our wedding. Is it fucked up if we don't go? Help, Nicole. Oh, well, first of all, are you taking notes, justin yeah i love it i love that family friends and small child all his friends uh i'm so curious what your thoughts are because i i share her this is a problem that i've had before excuses to get out of things well first of all i think it's very simple because whoever invited you first which it sounds like the first person did like you once you've been invited and accepted an rsvp to a wedding you can't renege on that like or you can but like the other person if that invitation came
Starting point is 00:42:11 in second. And let's just pretend for the sake of argument that it did. That's all you have to say is, oh, my God, we've already committed to a wedding on this day. I'm so sorry. I would love to be there for you. You know, I mean, it's pretty simple. But did she say that? Because one of them, I'm just like just based on their closeness and how much value they have as friends. The first one sounds far closer than the other one. Yeah. But the other one is asking him to be a groomsman. so it's a little bit and he was a groomsman in his thing i think like she mentions not knowing anybody who's going to be at the second wedding that's irrelevant and don't even bring that up because if that's not why you go to someone's wedding based on how many people you know
Starting point is 00:42:49 that's true and then based on how close you are to those getting married right yeah well but he was a groomsman in that guy's wedding so you got to return the favor but if you've already committed to a wedding then you can't go to two weddings in one day that's just not physically possible And if it is and you can swing that, then your husband can try to do that. But, I mean, I doubt that's – she doesn't say the locations, right? No. And probably not as a groomsman, but like, you know. So, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:16 I just – I don't think it's that big of a deal. So you say you accept the first one. You've already accepted an offer. You've already RSVP'd to one. Yeah. And so then you have to tell the other one, regardless of how close you are to them, you have to just tell them, I'm sorry. I have a wedding that day. We've already committed to a wedding.
Starting point is 00:43:31 There's nothing I can do. I'm so sorry. You know, I would love to make this up to you after my wife. I certainly can't swing two weddings in one day with a nine-month pregnant wife. That's just not going to happen. You're right. I overthink these things, though, too. And then I think, well, if the person does, which has happened to me, if they do hold it against you, that's kind of a good indicator that maybe it's time to move on as friends.
Starting point is 00:43:55 Yeah. And if you don't know anyone who's at the next wedding that you were a groomsman to or that he was a groomsman to, that is kind of weird. and that's an indication that your friendship isn't that close. That's true. And maybe he'll be weirdly relieved that you, maybe somebody else, maybe he'd feel some obligation to let you be a groomsman. Right. That's a good point.
Starting point is 00:44:14 Yeah, exactly. So I don't think that's that big of a deal. So what's her name again, Carrie? Nicole, like I said. Carrie. Nicole. Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it. Just have him call and just say, I'm so sorry, buddy.
Starting point is 00:44:26 Like, sorry that this happened on the same date. Do you struggle with excuses? Chelsea, you seem like somebody who's very honest, very direct. If you don't want to go to something, do you ever say, you know, I'd rather just not go? Yeah, I'm just very honest with my friends. I just say I'm not up for it. Or like, you know, if something happened, I tell them what happened. And I like to call people.
Starting point is 00:44:45 If I have to cancel, I like to call them directly and just explain why instead of a text. And I like, yes. And I like to just say the truth. That's nice. That's interesting because I have a problem sometimes getting off the phone when I'm on the phone with somebody. I sometimes avoid phone calls for this very reason. I'm not good at ending phone calls, you know. I try to do the wind down, and oftentimes people won't pick up on that.
Starting point is 00:45:08 I have a friend, Jerry O'Connell, if you've ever had him on your show, he's the best. He'll just say, okay, anyway, if he senses the slightest bit of wind down in your voice, like, well, so anyway. He'll go, okay, see ya, and he hangs up. That's lovely. It's amazing. It's lovely. Yeah. I just say, like, okay, let me wrap this up.
Starting point is 00:45:27 I've got to go to bed or I've got, I just always go, okay, listen, I'd love to talk more, but I got to wrap this up because I got to go do this and whatever it is I've got to do, you know? What if you don't have to do anything? That's the, this is what I'm saying. Oh, if I don't have to do anything? Yeah. Like during the pandemic, it was hard to come up with experience.
Starting point is 00:45:43 It's like, I know you have nothing to do. I fucking hate talking on the phone. I got to be honest with you. I try not to get stuck on the phone, but if I'm in crisis or any of my friends are in crisis, then I make the time for phone calls. But if it's just to catch up or whatever, you know, it's like, I just got to hop on another call. I have a work call in 10 minutes.
Starting point is 00:46:00 I have this in 10 minutes. No, I don't. I'm going to wrap this up. Yeah. Okay. Okay. But don't wrap this up because we actually have to talk to some more people. Please stay on.
Starting point is 00:46:09 Well, our next email, and this is just an email. She felt it was a little too personal to talk about over the phone with us. But Jay says, dear Chelsea, I'm 39 and I've been married for 13 years. We have an 11-year-old son and have had our ups and downs, but overall, a happy marriage. Just this week, I innocently looked through my husband's phone and saw that he had been texting another woman. These texts were sexual, flirty, and inappropriate in nature. This has crushed me. He says nothing happened in person.
Starting point is 00:46:41 He's shown remorse and says he will fight for our marriage. He even said he would see a therapist, which is something he never would have done in the past. So I guess my question is, how do I get over this? I want to save our marriage, but I don't know if I can get over this and move on. Where do I go from here, Jay? That's tough. Yeah. Man.
Starting point is 00:47:02 That is really hard. I'm so sorry, Jay. You know, I'm in no way in authority on this because I've never been with somebody that long. 13-year marriage. I don't know. Chelsea, Catherine, what do you guys think? I do think that there's space to work through something like this. Like, I know couples who have come back from stuff that felt very ugly or felt like in this space where it's cheating, but it's supposedly not cheat.
Starting point is 00:47:28 You know what I mean? It's like not in person. That's tricky ground because it I don't know. It is in the sense that they were finding satisfaction and they were being intimate with somebody else. That is I would feel very betrayed. That would be really hard. And then trust is always the hardest thing, I think, to rebuild. And if you lose that, in my experience, it's been hard to regain that after an offense like that.
Starting point is 00:47:56 I don't know. Because you have to think if that's in that person's psyche, if they have that impulse, that they're acting on to the point where they're engaging in that, to actually pick up a phone and text a thing, that's all very deliberate. it, that that means that that person has those. And everyone, I'm sure, has moments of attraction or, you know, but to act on it like that is a, it's a real betrayal. It's different. Yeah, it's a real betrayal. It doesn't feel good to be reading those things at all. It's a punch in the gut, especially after being with somebody for so long. But listen, you had an instinct and you weren't wrong. Who cares about checking his phone? I mean, if you check someone's phone and you find something, then you were right. And I don't have any boundaries about that. And I don't
Starting point is 00:48:38 care if my boyfriend checks my phone. You know what I mean? Like there's nothing to find, so go for it. But there's always space for healing. You never know. This could be a huge opportunity for growth for you too. You could actually, the fact that he's willing to go to counseling over this is very important. You should take him up on that. Do not, do not like defer that to another time or postpone it. Hop on that right now because clearly there is a chasm between the two of you that has been created, which is why he's talking to somebody else. And you want to make sure that the first time is the last time. He disrespected your relationship. He disrespected your child. He disrespected you. And you need to go to a counselor and have this conversation with him and continue
Starting point is 00:49:19 to go until you build a stronger foundation so that you're never going to have a desire to check his phone because there's never going to be anything there. That was so well said. What great advice. It's true. There should be room for growth and a personal evolution. And I love therapy Chelsea that was really impressive oh well thank you I just think people sometimes make mistakes and we don't want to just we don't want to just cancel them like yeah you can't do that just let people understand you've been hurt and if they are a deep enough person or worthwhile enough I should say they're going to recognize that they caused you pain and they're going to want to correct that pain you know it's so true so I think it's okay it's not your relationship
Starting point is 00:50:01 isn't over you can't throw that relationship away because every relationship has ups and downs and it's how you handle the downs. That is the most important thing. How do you deal with that? Can you have a conversation with him, with the third party who hears both of you and gets to the root of the issue and the disconnect? And that is totally plausible. And I think it's hard for a lot of people to be vulnerable and to admit certain things that they're, in this case, something is lacking. There's some intimacy component that is lacking. And that's a hard thing to say to somebody that you love. You don't want to hurt somebody. But I think through therapy, there's a opportunity like you said to be really honest with one another and and like you also said
Starting point is 00:50:40 it would make you a lot them a lot stronger a lot more intimate right and also just something to remember you can get over almost anything like don't think you'll never get over this it's fresh it's a fresh wound so it feels like it's going to be interminable write that down justin and but it's not going to be it's you can get over this it's not like he had an affair and even if that had happened that's a possible thing to get over too for many many people so just let's you know just focus on the here and now and repairing what has happened and just getting to the bottom of it and let us know what happens yeah find yourself a real good couples counselor and you know stick with it because after all there is a kid involved too the most sagacious one possible the most
Starting point is 00:51:22 interminably sagacious one possible yeah it's funny i'm looking up sagacious and it just says the quality of being oh it's i see having or showing keen mental discernment and good judgment shrewd shrewd yeah discern yeah discerning it's the opposite of it is a good word specious it's the opposite of fucking moron is what it's the opposite right yes oh that is true that's one of the does it say that yeah fucking moron and they're fucking more yeah perfect well our first caller today is cami cami says dear chelsea in about two months i'm marrying my best friend and the love of my life and i'm beyond excited about it however shortly after my dad is getting remarried too to a girl the same age as me we'll call her sally sally's a funny name for like when
Starting point is 00:52:12 you're really hung up on somebody's age it's a young sounding name yes yes sally we even have the same color hair and my dad being an old guy frequently mixes up our names when we're together it makes me extremely uncomfortable and to be honest a little sad every time i try to bring up my wedding to my dad in hopes that he'll be excited supportive and wanting to help all i get is well sally did this for our wedding and sally also went to a bachelorette party this weekend and then Sally and I went cake tasting. Did you get cake? It's extremely exhausting
Starting point is 00:52:49 and it feels like a jab to the heart every time I talk to him. I'm struggling to find ways to tell him that I just want the next couple of months to be about my wedding and all the things that come with it. Cammie. Wow.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Hi, Cammie. Cammie's with us here. Yeah, she's with us on video. She's zoomed in. Hi, Cammie. This is our guest today, Justin, and this is my co-host, Catherine. Hi.
Starting point is 00:53:12 So nice to be here. Hi. Hi, Cammie. So nice to see you. Yeah. It's a beautiful day. I got a glass of wine. It's Friday.
Starting point is 00:53:20 It's payday. Oh, payday. Yeah, she works at a vineyard. Oh, perfect. Well, then you should always have a glass of wine. Always. So, Cammie, is the issue that his wedding is competing with your wedding, or is the issue that, you know, she's your age?
Starting point is 00:53:34 What's the bigger... Do they already get married? No. So, they're getting married in July. I'm getting married in May. So, it's shortly after. um so it's not necessarily that it's competing it's just every time i try to bring it up and you know he's supposed to be like part of my wedding and it's always talking about his wedding
Starting point is 00:53:52 is he doing that in an effort to relate to you like you know sometimes people try to find commonality and you know if they say like oh i just i almost stepped on a frog that's so funny a couple weeks ago i i also almost that's a terrible analogy but uh is he doing it in an effort to, to feel closer and to, you know, move the conversation? Um, I guess that could probably be it. I mean, he is probably trying to find common ground between it all, but he never listens to when I talk about anything about my wedding. It's always, he's always thinking about theirs and never responds to a single answer to what I'm planning for the whole wedding. So, okay. Well, I think what your action needs to be is to sit down and
Starting point is 00:54:34 have a conversation or write him an email, whatever you prefer. I think face-to-face for this would be best if you're comfortable with that. And to explain to him that you're planning on being married for one time in your life and it's coming up in a month or in two months, whatever time in May, and that this is the only time in your life that you have to celebrate this time and that your father is your only father and that you need him to be present for your event. and once that's done and over then he can be focused on his own marriage it's it's marginalizing your experience and you need him you need to share this experience with him and that can be said in a really loving way like dad I want to be able to share this experience with you without it being
Starting point is 00:55:18 about you all the time and your wedding you're my dad like I need you here for me just for this amount of time you know can you do that for me I don't think that's how asking a lot it's one thing that you're even getting married so close to when I'm getting married. That wasn't necessary. I'm willing to accept that, but I need your attention focused on me. Yeah, definitely. I, it's always like one of those conversations where you think you can get the, you get, you can master up the thing. You're like, I'm going to say that. And then it's so much harder to say it than in actuality. If I can add to that, which I can't improve upon it, but I would say I found a lot of value in writing things. I know it sounds like cheesy and maybe basic, but like when I have to have those
Starting point is 00:55:58 heavy conversations i find a lot of value in writing down a clear intention you know my intention for this is to communicate this and and and just boil it down to the essence of what you want to say to your father and chelsea said it so perfectly so i would just actually write down exactly what she said but have it so you can reference because some especially when you're face to face things emotions you get involved and he might try to he might deflect and avoid this the substance of what you're saying but if you have it written down in front of you you can always go back to reference the intention of what you're trying to communicate. I think that really helped. Yeah, that's a great idea. Great suggestion. Finally, from Justin, you should
Starting point is 00:56:36 write that down. And you can even write what you want to say in a letter and read it to him to his face. But I think with a father and daughter dynamic, it's more powerful to just sit in front of him and show him and it's got to be with so much love, you know, like, I love you, that I want to have this moment with you. This is the one time in my life that I get to have this experience hopefully and I want to share it with you and I want you to be present for me you know and how meaningful your relationship is and just try and make it all about the positive things and that there's a time to celebrate your wedding and then there will be a time to celebrate his yeah and validate his his thing too because it sounds like he might be trying to overcompensate
Starting point is 00:57:17 for having feeling maybe he doesn't feel like you've totally embraced his situation maybe he that maybe that's why he keeps bringing it up and overpowering your wedding stuff. But Chelsea, it was so well said. I think you have to really let him know that, you know, you're, you're his, you're his daughter and he's got to be there for you. And he's got to hold a space for you during this time. I might also need to add to the bottom of the letter that he really needs to think about his name. He's saying first.
Starting point is 00:57:41 Oh, that's wild. In what context is he messing it up? Oh, like we'll be like sitting and having dinner and he'll be like, Oh, Sally. Oh, I mean, uh, Cammie. And I'm like, Oh God. In reality, our names kind of rhyme, so it's actually quite funny. Do you laugh about it? Like, what's your reaction when it happens? Is Sally like, oh, geez. I just go dead silent, and I'm like, oh, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:58:06 Not again. It might help to laugh about it. Are you close to Sally? Yeah, I agree. I think that that is just laugh. Like, that is something to laugh at. You know, it's ridiculous that your father's confusing your name with his girlfriend's. Really, it's just a true testament to his age.
Starting point is 00:58:22 How old is he? 63. Okay. Well, he's not that old. No. He's with it enough for you to have a conversation with him about this and for him to understand that it's a little bit inappropriate. How does your mother factor into all of this? She's quite the comical one about it.
Starting point is 00:58:42 She hates it. She has everything to say about this. Is she remarried, Tammy? She is, yes. She's happily remarried to a wonderful man. We love him. Oh, good, good. But other than the age thing, I mean, which I know bothers you, do you like Sally herself?
Starting point is 00:58:59 I mean, do you guys get along? To be honest, I've only really had a few conversations with her. I try to keep my distance. Well, maybe you'd want to kind of lean into it instead of keeping your distance. Maybe there's an opportunity to, as hard as it might be, to reach out to her and say, hey, we should, let's, I don't know, try to connect with her. That might be bothering your dad. that may be one of the reasons I don't mean to keep defending him men men defending each other
Starting point is 00:59:27 um but that there might be some reason why he keeps overcompensating you know and mentioning her yeah yeah and I think also like this is your time this is your moment and you know your relationship with her can develop over time which is a more natural way for things like that to happen like no force it force it yeah you don't have to rush into that like you know you can even relay that to your father. Like I'm, I'm totally willing to support you and be there for you. I need this from you. I'm asking you, I'm sitting in front of you asking you to be here for me in this moment. This is your daughter. It's not Sally, just so you know. Yeah. And wear a big nameplate on your chest. Make that clear. Yeah, no, that's definitely very helpful. And
Starting point is 01:00:09 just setting boundaries, I think is going to be really important. And yes, maybe getting to know her a little bit better, but it's pretty weird to relate to her because obviously we have a lot common being over the same age yeah yeah freaks me out you know I get it it's it's an icky thing for girls to have to deal with their father's girlfriends that are the same age as them it just makes you question a lot of different things so I can relate to that but you know as long as you're not taking it out on her you know whatever like she's irrelevant really at this point it's more about your dad's you know attention span and understanding of this time in your life and how important it is to you. Yes, absolutely. So do you feel like that's a conversation that you can
Starting point is 01:00:48 have with him? Yes, but I think I'm going to have to write it down because they're also going to say shit I don't mean. Yeah, totally. Yeah. And take your time with the conversation. Try not to be reactive. If he says something that brings it up, you know, just try and take a breath because you don't want that conversation to escalate. You really want it to land. So even if he says stuff just take a breath and go you know like don't respond in a way that is going to like denude the entire meaning of your conversation you know you really want to have an impact with it so meditate before write down your intentions write down what you want to say and then go in like you are just going to win this conversation you know yeah yeah and i think when you're applying to his
Starting point is 01:01:33 like nature as a dad like i need you to just be like my dad walking me down the aisle go to that sentimental place and i think he'll he'll be very much on your team yeah that's such a good point yeah well thank you so much cammy yeah yeah and congrats yeah on your dad's wedding on your dad's marriage on your on your on your wedding yeah i'm really excited it was so nice to be on this show and chelsea i'm so excited i get to see you in a couple weeks live so oh awesome where is that going to be? Uh, in Santa Rosa. Oh, cool. Santa Rosa. Is that where you work? Uh, I, yeah, close by. Oh, okay, cool. Okay. Well let us know, like follow up and let us know how the conversation with your dad went and if he was able to hear you. Yeah. Thank you so much. Okay. Thanks,
Starting point is 01:02:23 Kami. See you soon. Bye-bye. Oh, what a sweetie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so glad when my mom died, we found my father naked in the kitchen with his cleaning lady about two weeks later as my mom was dying she said to me your father is a piece of work and you guys are all about to find out how fucked up he is she didn't say fucked up because she never cursed but she never cursed no she was she was like the opposite of me she was quiet and demure and she was like wait i she said i will be laughing at you in heaven when you find out what i've been protecting you girls from and my father within two weeks my brother roy text us going just went over to check on dad his cleaning lady was naked in the kitchen cleaning while my father had his pants down sitting on the couch and i just
Starting point is 01:03:08 thought to myself thank god my mother is in heaven and not privy to this and then i looked up and i just smiled at her like you were right all along and i yeah i'm you ate an orange yeah and then i ate it and then i ate an orange and started laughing with my mother in heaven oh that's great that's wild you're so did your dad did your dad end up remarrying or did you just no i think he just slept with all the people that worked at the house so you know but i mean i don't even think my father was in any physical condition to be having sex so i think it was more of just like a voyeuristic you know i you know what i mean yes so we don't really need to delve any further no but that's interesting but you you yeah so you can relate to a daughter marrying somebody
Starting point is 01:03:51 yeah i mean a father marrying if he had been spry enough by the time my mother died like he completely fell apart when my mom died had he been able to keep his shit together he definitely would have brought some women around that would have been a hard pill to swallow for my family and i yeah yeah and my family and me excuse my grammar yeah that's interesting are your parents still married they're still married and i can't i mean even if they weren't i'm trying to imagine like what that would be i guess it's different for guys maybe there's i think there's something uniquely strange maybe for a young you know for a daughter to have her father dating somebody her age you know to to i don't know just just the sexual implications that it brings up and yeah
Starting point is 01:04:36 right right strange yeah yeah absolutely i also wonder if sally feels just as weird about it she probably feels weird about having stepdaughter to be that it's her age yeah now i'm i'm kind of contradicting what I said earlier about wanting to respect the elderly, but I have to question and I shouldn't, but I do, I find myself questioning a person that age, their motivation for being with somebody who is 63, just because I would imagine it'd be so hard to relate to somebody that much younger. Yeah. Yeah. I had a driver this weekend who said that he has a girlfriend. He was 73 and his girlfriend is 33 and there's a 40 year age difference. And I said, it really like how does that work out he goes great it's my third wife you know when i when i
Starting point is 01:05:24 got married i thought oh wow you know i was 60 and she was 20 and and i'm like and what drugs was she smoking that she was attracted to a 60 year old man oh my god and when i was 42 she was two that's crazy so just that disturbed me i just i was like i guess it depends on what at that age you value and if you value enough if you value youth and like that whatever that person's vitality hotness enough hotness if you value that enough that it's enough to overwhelm the lack of common ground and the inability to have like a really like challenging conversation i i don't know maybe who knows yeah i tried not to be too judgy because like you know some people really are in love like when i was 20 i dated a when i was 22 i dated a 36 year old and that was a pretty
Starting point is 01:06:22 big age difference and i but i was a baby i just i was so i had the biggest crush on this guy you know why he was dating me is a separate issue yes but so let's get him on the show i try not to be too judgy because you know people do fall in love at different ages in their lives so it's not all it's not all badly motivated or motivated for the wrong reasons yeah that's true there's no shortcut for saving time but saving money is simple just combine your car and home insurance with bel-air direct and save get a quote at bel-air direct.com when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed
Starting point is 01:07:13 them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them There's stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 01:08:01 If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island to deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations
Starting point is 01:08:25 everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed, I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite BookTok creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters,
Starting point is 01:08:42 then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle, I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space
Starting point is 01:09:18 where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always
Starting point is 01:10:09 searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it. And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood.
Starting point is 01:10:48 He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our next email comes from Mary. We are old people in love, so hopefully we can give some advice to this very young person in love. Oh, good. Dear Chelsea, I'm 19 and I've been with my boyfriend for a year now since I was 18.
Starting point is 01:11:19 In the past six months, I have accepted that I'm bisexual and I had a conversation with him about that when I was ready. He accepted my sexuality, but my attraction to something he can't give me made him a little insecure. I had little time to explore many sexual or relationship experiences before being with him. Since the conversation, I've had the recurring thought that I'm so young and have so much to experience. I'd like to be with a woman, but I don't foresee myself ending things with him and we're not polyamorous people. If he was okay with it, I'd like to explore my sexuality while still loving him, but I would not be okay with him experiencing other women. He's very straight. If he had the need to explore his sexuality and wanted to see men, I would be okay with it.
Starting point is 01:12:01 The advice I need is, how should I empathetically approach a conversation like this to a sensitive person like him? Also, is it too early in the relationship to ask about something like this? Is it better to bring this up years down the road when we have established even more trust than we already have? P.S., a threesome is off the table. Thanks, Mary. God, a lot of rules. A lot of rules, yeah. Yes, I know.
Starting point is 01:12:23 It's very strict. Boundaries. Yeah, a lot of boundaries, yet, okay. Conflicting boundaries. Yeah. Okay. Well, I think, A, you need to bring it up immediately. That is dishonest to lead somebody on without giving them all the facts and all the information. You're very clear, or you seem to be very clear about what your desires are and what your boundaries are. So all you can do is
Starting point is 01:12:48 present them in an honest way and accept whether or not he's going to be okay with that. And if he's not going to be okay with that then you need to respect that as well and either end the relationship based on what you want to do moving forward or accept that you're not going to be able to act like that within the confines of that relationship but you cannot lie to him or lead him on you have to give everyone the information they need and then they're everyone is allowed to make their own choice for themselves you don't get to decide how your boyfriend is going to exist within a relationship a year is plenty of time to lay it on the table yes that's a well said you're so good at this i don't mean i hope that doesn't sound you're really like that's so succinct and you're
Starting point is 01:13:29 so funny it's true i was i was like god what is that because i guess the proposition is that she wants to be with women while still being with him but she doesn't want him to be with anybody anybody else but she wants to be allowed to be with other people yeah that's a pretty tough that he putting him in a tough spot but he could be with a man if he wants to meanwhile yeah but he there's he's shown no indication of being gay no he's very straight sexual so like yeah so what yeah yes what if a woman were to dress as a man or to identify maybe as a man or said she you know you could maybe fudge the rules a little bit yeah there's a lot of fudging for the rules I just think she's 19.
Starting point is 01:14:15 Like when you're 19, you are changing. You're learning about yourself. And it's easy to want the best of both worlds. Like I want us to love him, but I want to experiment. I don't know that there's space for that. No, I know. I have a feeling she'll look back and think, oh, I wish I hadn't strung him along or been. I wish I had, you know, maybe ended things sooner, been honest sooner because there was so much to explore at 19.
Starting point is 01:14:39 I mean, you got the whole it's it's Mary, Mary. yes you have the whole world to explore you're so you know it's such a great time to be unfettered so i feel bad for her boyfriend but um well i yeah i don't and just you know mary something to remember is like whatever you put out is coming back at you that's like just the law of physics you know there's an action there's a reaction so you want to treat him with the same amount of respect that you want to be treated with because down the road if you don't treat him with respect someone's going to come along and someone's going to do that to you and you're not going to like it so you have to treat him with all the honesty even if it's uncomfortable and
Starting point is 01:15:17 it hurts you you have to treat him with all that honesty and respect and be as honest as you can and then it's up to him whether or not he's willing to accept that it sounds like she is she wrote a really yeah very honest in her letter and yeah yeah we got all the rules so just get on it mary just you know deal with the subject matter and then you know who knows maybe you guys take a Maybe you go explore your feelings of bisexuality and maybe you come right back to him and think, wait, this is what I want. Or maybe there's a whole new world for you that you're postponing by prolonging it by being in a relationship, in a heteronormative relationship. Yeah. I'm always so curious at what that moment is.
Starting point is 01:15:54 She said she accepted it six months ago. I'm always wondering what the catalyst. Maybe there's not one particular thing. But I'm always curious, at that age, when somebody has, you know, had a couple years of sexuality, let's say, or being a sexualized person, Mary, write back and let us know. Yeah, let us know, Mary, what happened. Who triggered your bisexuality. Yeah, what triggered it, and act with integrity, okay? Because I know you're 19, and sometimes integrity doesn't come to us until we're a little bit older, but try to get after it.
Starting point is 01:16:24 Yeah. So this person who wrote in is going by younger than I sound. Dear Chelsea, she says, I'm 27 and I've manifested myself into living a very small life. I have a computer job and I work from home. I live out of state from my family and I was dumped last year. We didn't survive the pandemic, I guess. Anyway, did you ever have a year or two in your 20s, even late 20s like me, where you were all alone doing it all yourself? I want to thrive in my career independence and living alone but I usually just feel like a 65
Starting point is 01:16:56 year old widow living alone with her cats and waiting for the next big HBO show to come out younger than I sound oh she sounds funny and sweet man I have felt that way late 20s I would try to fill that void whether it was going out and drinking drugs relationships that I probably shouldn't have been in. But I, in a way, I think she's doing a really healthy thing by being by herself and kind of expressing those feelings of loneliness maybe and ennui and ennui. But I'm so curious what Chelsea's going to say because I remember that feeling and I don't think I behaved in as healthy a way as younger than I sound as behaving. She's actually, she sounds older than she is. Yeah, you do sound older, but that's okay. I think everybody goes through different
Starting point is 01:17:46 phases in their lives. I just read a book for my friend, Lily Singh wrote a book called be a triangle and it's a short read. I read it in an hour and a half. Like you can pick it up and put it down, but it's just a reminder that the times in your life where you feel loneliest or just are not forever. And there's a bunch of tools there about creating a foundation for your life where you can build on that, you know, and you, your relationship with yourself is really the most important one to be focused on. And when you have a healthy relationship with yourself and you're confident in the decisions you're making that's when you can bring other people into your life in a more meaningful way full circle yeah that's what we were talking about earlier yeah totally
Starting point is 01:18:24 and it's like this period of time doesn't define you you know i totally i was a person in my 20s and i was a different person in my 30s and i you know and i'm now in my 40s and i'm a different person i was a recluse for like periods of time in my 20s because it just everyone just drove me fucking crazy. I would watch TV. I would lie in bed for hours a day, like for periods of like, you know, sometimes months, I mean, interspersed with like activities, but like overall I would have termed myself as a recluse. I didn't want to go to bars. I didn't want to hang out. And then there were periods of time where that's all I did was hang out and party and meet up and hook up and, and date. And then I'd have a boyfriend and that would last for a year. And then that
Starting point is 01:19:05 was my focus and so there are all different we have similar paths yes yes i wanted to touch the flame and then but then you find that you're a lot happier i mean everyone's seeking happiness i suppose but i found that i was a lot happier when i would just settle and and i was by myself and i was able to cultivate interests alone and in silence there's something really i mean embrace that time because it won't last for long chelsea's right so it's a good time to kind of cultivate your own thing and interests and even if it's just sitting around with your cats being still and present in the world is a beautiful thing. And coming to appreciate nature and being alive is a really special thing. So don't shortchange that. Yeah. And if you think, oh, I spend too
Starting point is 01:19:45 much time alone, just add some things to that. Go outside, go for a hike once a day or whatever outdoor activities you're interested in. Go for a walk with your cat or go for a walk alone or find a friend to go for a walk with. Just incorporate little things that are going to boost your mood being outdoor will always help you be in a better mood and be in a more positive kind of headspace so just remember that and also just kind of add things to your life that does you know make plans with a friend make plans with a relative do things that are so you can see if you enjoy that and if you want to continue doing that and you know there's nothing wrong with spending a lot of time with yourself and using that time wisely to kind of get to know yourself
Starting point is 01:20:24 and what what you're going to accept in your life and what you're not you know kind of setting standards for yourself moving forward amen yes sorry what's that book it's be a triangle yeah by lily sing she just wrote it yeah oh cool okay yeah and she was a guest on this show last season yeah it's a cute little book and it's just about positive relationships with yourself to remember that you don't you know a lot of times we spend our life proving things to other people when in fact your relationship with yourself and your spiritual relationship with the universe and nature and being in touch and giving. And instead of just receiving or, you know, giving instead of taking is just a huge component of how to be a more well-rounded person. I find a lot of value
Starting point is 01:21:06 in this book. I have, cause I interviewed Dr. Mark Epstein on Life is Short. It's going to pieces without falling apart. It's a Buddhist perspective on wholeness. I've really found a lot of value in that. And the Zen of Therapy is his latest book. I don't know why I'm plugging all of his work, but I like Mark Epstein. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And taking walks and being present in nature has really helped me to, I'm really rooting for this person. She sounds really cool and sweet. Yeah. Yeah. I'm wishing you the best younger than I sound. Yeah. Younger than I sound. I wish you the best too. So don't be too harsh with judgment on yourself. Okay. Yeah. Take it easy. Take it slow and just, you know, keep moving. Yeah. Well, let's take a quick break and
Starting point is 01:21:45 we'll be back to close it out with Justin and Chelsea. Okay. We'll take a loofah break. We'll be right back. Justin, keep your hands where we can see them. Okay. I'm just getting my loofah. the jonas brothers are running it back we live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest jonas brother hits that have defined a generation one incredible celebration one unforgettable night see the jonas brothers live at rbc amphitheater september 28th get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca Jonas Brothers, the Burn It Up Tour, all over again. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.
Starting point is 01:22:38 I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 01:23:26 If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters,
Starting point is 01:24:07 then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita,
Starting point is 01:24:28 we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita,
Starting point is 01:24:50 trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel
Starting point is 01:25:14 veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts, you go with it.
Starting point is 01:26:02 And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now-husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Well, we're back to close it out.
Starting point is 01:26:34 And Justin, did you have any advice that you'd like from Chelsea? I've also found myself getting, now that I have the smart car, it's going to be a little bit more of a problem, but getting my reactivity. You mentioned reactivity, which is, I think, so important for a lot of these callers. It's been so important in my life to be aware of. But on the road, I still tend to get, people drive like maniacs here, and I find myself getting very reactive on the road. I had an encounter yesterday where a guy swerved into my lane and just to let him know he was coming to my lane, I gave him the beep, beep. It wasn't an angry beep.
Starting point is 01:27:04 It was just a pop, pop, you're coming in. And he gave me the finger. It was wild. And I said, what's me? And he started swerving purposefully into my lane because he was angry. Now, I don't know in those moments, I've been really working on reactivity and I've loved meditation, but sometimes those moments I find very challenging. What do you do? I'm curious what you do on the road if it were something like that to happen. I mean, my whole therapy was about
Starting point is 01:27:36 my reactivity. So yes, I am able to laugh at anyone who acts like that. Like I'm able to go, oh God, that person is obviously having a really bad day or time or life. Like no one needs to give anyone the finger on the road like it's crazy and it shouldn't you and you reacting to it is just getting right down to his level instead of elevating to your level so i don't know what the right thing is but recognizing that reaction in yourself is the first step by going oh i was just about to give him the finger back but i'm not going to do that because this is so silly we're driving great and and superficially i'm wondering if you can recommend a strain of sativa that is an edible potentially that's good for driving yeah that being out in the world maybe younger
Starting point is 01:28:26 than i sound might want to try it on one of her nature walks just being a little bit more so you don't get you don't crash i've been really crashing and getting tired yeah i like uh i i don't like strong edibles during the daytime i love i think the most popular one are those kiva blueberries oh you know what i'm talking about those are light and they're kind of fun and giggly and also another really light option are those Breeze mints. They are 2.5 milligrams for really new beginners and they're an upper. Like that's a fun thing to like go outside and do something with. So those are two good suggestions, I think. Great. Thank you. Oh, you're so welcome, Justin. What a great way to wrap up the episode. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And it was a terrible beginning.
Starting point is 01:29:09 Totally my fault. Terrible beginning. Terrible middle. Yeah. We really, really cleaned it out the end it's a great ending i'm really good at endings this was so fun thank you for having me well thank you for being here it was a pleasure to see you again too and i'm so happy that you're in love congratulations tell kate give her my love for me i will i don't know if you heard her she said she came in looking for her she was looking for a plug she said hello i did i did yeah okay okay well thank you guys thank you so nice to meet you katherine likewise give kate my best I will. I will. I will. Thank you guys. And have a great day in Massachusetts and Connecticut, Justin.
Starting point is 01:29:44 Okay. Thank you, Chelsea. And give Joe my best. I will. I will. I hope we all get to hang out one day. Oh, that'd be fun. Let's do it. Bye-bye. So if you'd like to ask Chelsea a question, email us at dearchelseaproject at gmail.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.
Starting point is 01:30:12 Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. and Sean Clements.
Starting point is 01:30:37 We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have
Starting point is 01:30:44 to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott,
Starting point is 01:30:52 Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Starting point is 01:31:00 or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, We share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.
Starting point is 01:31:23 I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. if your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality welcome home pro society is a weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions yeah i'm obsessed i'm Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 01:32:08 I'm Nick Turturro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone, from Seth Rollins. What are you doing with my belt? To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro.
Starting point is 01:32:33 It's called happiness. Delivering happiness. And many, many more. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, and listen now. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.

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