Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Fanilow to Ambassilow with Michael Urie

Episode Date: August 21, 2025

Shrinking’s Michael Urie joins Chelsea to discuss what it’s like joining the cast of OH MARY! while reveling in his first Emmy nomination, building a mall in your basement, and everything you need to know about the Male Barbra Streisand.  And the female one.  Then: A UK-dwelling sister begs to skip her sister’s nuptials. A friend rebels against a pathological liar.  And a man struggles to stay in a 10-year marriage… that has never been consummated.   * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all?

And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability.

Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by.

The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that. No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Katherine. Hi, Chelsea.

How are you? I mean, I'm not, I'm weak. I'm very weak. I was in Ibiza for like 72 hours, maybe more. It was ridiculous. and then I came to New York, so my stomach is still not right. Oh, no. Something's off.

Were you okay to go to the U.S. Open, or did you have to, like— No, I was okay to go to the U.S. Open. I had a ride home from Ibiza that I missed. Then I had a flight that I also missed. Then I spent an extra night getting sleep, so that was good. It was rough. It was a rough trip. It was a rough trip all the way around. I just really banged myself up.

So I'm just recovering in time for me to be in New York. We went to the U.S. Open yesterday with one of my favorite people, Hannah Berner. And then I'm headed to Montauk tonight. And then I have shows in West Hampton tomorrow night and Thursday night. Excellent. Thursday, no, and Friday night, 21st to 22nd. So yes. But a bunch of my friends are flying in, so we're all driving down to the Hamptons tonight together.

Apparently, I'm meeting them at an airport. So I was like, guys, this is not a good meeting spot. Not for me anyway. I just loaded everything into my car, my driver's car, thinking he and I were driving to the Hamptons. He's like, no, I'm dropping you off at the airport. I'm like, what? Anyway, we'll get that sorted. We have one of your attendees for your West Hampton show calling in today, actually.

Oh, really? Oh, perfect. They can call in about the show for a preview. That's what they're going to want. Yeah, she wants you to do a tight five. I love when you do interviews, when I do interviews and people, when I'm promoting shows and they're like, what can we expect? It's like fucking comedy and laughter. weird question it's such an annoying question and so i have to talk about how annoying it is

so hopefully all these interviewers will hear it at some point and stop asking comedians what to expect it's like what to expect what comedy you're gonna you want me to pitch you my jokes like i'm doing then i'm doing material right right you get a little drunk and listen to comedy yeah or yeah just a little drunk just just a little uh we have a very very funny guest on today who I'm excited about. He stars in Apple's TV hit show, Shrinking, and is nominated for an Emmy for Best Actor in a Supporting Role. And he's also just made his debut in O'Mary on Broadway. And you can find him this fall in Shakespeare's Richard II. Please welcome Michael Urie. Michael Urie, a giant ray of sunshine is here today. Hi, Michael Urie. How are you?

I'm so good. It's great to see you all. Hello. It's great to see you too. Your hair's wet. Did you just get out of the shower? I did. I wanted to be clean for this because I'm a clean little boy. Thank you. I went to the gym and then I went and showered. And so I'm clean as a horse. Okay, let me tell you what I did this morning.

I took a shower before I went to the gym. I took a shower because I was like, fuck, when am I going to, I have a busy day. I'm like, when am I going to have time to shower? Usually I would take one after my workout, but I was like, well, fuck, I'm just going to take one before as a prophylactic, you know? and then I went so I go to my trainer's house and I go in his bathroom and I change and my

hair was like damp and gross from sweating but I had to put on a regular outfit so I feel like a dirty little whore right now I like when she stinks so it's fine thank you thank you Catherine it's a musk it's a musk but yeah I've never

really had BO so at least that's what I like to tell people so it's not really an issue why is Michael frozen on our end? I'm not sure I just texted Brad You're back again. There you're back. All I can see is you and corkboard, and I like this setup because there's no distractions. We can completely focus on you.

Yeah. If you freeze again, we'll let you know. Let me close my other thing. Yeah, maybe close everything else. I'm closing my other things just to make sure. Close your OnlyFans and, yeah, whatever else you're on. I'm going to close my OnlyFans. I'm on OnlyFans, and I know that you're on my account, so please close it.

This is inappropriate. Michael, first of all, the most recent set of congratulations need to be conveyed to you on your most recent Emmy nomination for your role in Shrinking. Thank you. My most recent and only. It's all very new to me, this whole thing. This amazing world of Emmys is so new and exciting and crazy. And I still don't really believe it.

I know. It's pretty exciting. How did you get the news? Were you waiting? Did you know that you knew you were in contention to get nominated from an Emmy? Yeah. I mean, I guess, you know, people were like, you should wake up. You should be paying attention.

You should you should try to, you know, try to be up for it. We had a night shoot the night before. Actually, we were shooting Shrinking at the time and we had a night shoot that went till three, four in the morning. So I was dead asleep and my phone started buzzing. But I was kind of aware because, you know, they were like I was on a list or two and people were definitely trying to, you know, get, you know, get me nominated. Not get you nominated.

I know. It's always fascinating the people who don't try to get nominated, but get nominated. I'm like, how much effort has to go into trying to get nominated? So tell us about the text you got from Harrison Ford texted you, right? Oh, my gosh. So, well, I texted him first, but he wrote back right away. And yeah, I just texted him, dude. And he wrote back the same thing, dude.

And then he said he was like, yeah, and and and big head because we call Jason Segel big head or it's a part of the show that he's called big head. But I love that Harrison kept that nickname. Yeah, it's just so cool that he got nominated. I got nominated. Jessica and Jason and the show and casting and sound. Like, it just feels like the show spoke to people. Definitely.

It was a really nice. So that day, so I woke up, you know, to my phone buzzing. And then that night we had our last night of shooting, actually. It was our wrap day. And so we all got to be together and sort of celebrate together. That's so nice. It's such a nice show to watch. It feels like that you guys have such a nice vibe between everyone.

Your character is great. I mean, it's a perfect for, it's just so like, I know Bill Lawrence does this with his shows. He makes them very inviting, you know, like these places, these kind of, it's always set in some backdrop that is very appealing that you want to keep coming back to. And the neighbors are like, you know, walking over to each other's houses. I don't want to give any of my neighbors any ideas that I would be interested in that so that's all we'll say

on that front but this is just your most recent success because you have a huge huge long history you've done so many shows from Ugly Betty to Younger to Broadway you're in O'Mary now which everyone can go see on Broadway which is fucking exciting

so congrats on all of that too and I know that you before we get into any of that stuff I know that you have you've had a very long unromantic relationship with Barry Manilow? Yes. Thank you for asking. Yes. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a fan of love more than a fan of love. I am an ambassador. I bring people to him. I introduce, I make, I make versions, fan of lows. I guess it was my, I went back home after my first year in New York,

my first year of drama school. And I was back in, I'm from Texas and I was back in Plano, Texas, driving around the suburbs. And I was very melancholy because I felt like I belonged in New York. You know, as soon as I got to New York, I was like, this is where I belong. And going back to Texas was really weird that first summer. And there was a new Light FM station in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex, and they were playing a lot of Barry Manilow. And I'd never really, I mean, I'd heard him, but it was really speaking to me this summer. But was there any correlation between you coming out and then appreciating Barry Manilow? or was were you already out i was you know like ish at that time i was like i was like i think

those two dots are connected though i mean i'm sure that's why he spoke to me so i'm sure that i was like even though he's singing about mandy and melissa and all these women i'm sure that i was like he means michael he's actually means michael here but but i went into i was so into him and i went into you remember like used cd stores back in the late 90s i went into a used cd store in the suburbs and i was like i was a little like i was like i don't think it's i don't think it's cool to like barry manilow i don't know if i don't know if i i'm gonna be i'm gonna be under the radar here and i'm gonna pretend like i'm shopping for my aunt or something and so i went up to the counter and i was like you guys don't have any you guys don't have any like barry

manilow cds do you and the woman looked at me and said every record store in the world has barry Manilow, it's right over there. And I went and bought The Greatest Hits and just like lived my life in the car, driving around, singing Barry Manilow. And then as soon as I got on TV, as soon as I was on Ugly Betty and I had even like the slightest bit of notoriety, I made it my mission to meet him and find him. Of course. What else is fame for other than to meet your heroes? Like, I mean, that's exactly what I use it for too, restaurants and heroes. And doctor appointments, let's be honest, okay? I want to skip the line, so.

Is that a thing? Yes. Every doctor, like, yeah. I mean, doctors want celebrity clients, so that works out nicely. I never even thought of that. I use ZocDoc like an idiot. Like when you go to a doctor and you go to a doctor, like, they won't leave you in the waiting room. They get you right away.

You don't have to wait because they don't want you to have to, you know. It's just, it's a nice perk that is probably underrated, but I see doctors all the time because I just want everything to be taken care of at all times. You know what I mean? But anyway, I diverge. Back to Barry Manilow. I'm so sorry. Continue.

I'll always get us back to Barry Manilow. He means so much to me. So I met him. I went to see him in Vegas, and I got to hang out backstage. So when you met him, were you able to contain your excitement, or was it a bit of a hot mess? It was. I played it cool.

I have to say, I did play it pretty cool. I was with some friends who were, you know, like not as big a fan as I am. Nobody is. And we'd just seen the show in Vegas and they brought us backstage and it was, it was really nice. And it was like someone in the band's birthday and they were singing happy birthday and he has a vineyard. So we were drinking Manolo wine and he couldn't have been cooler. he was so chill and so nice and he didn't really know who i was then but i've been about you know like 20 times since then so now he does and now he's even like come to see me in some shows and and we'll occasionally like text and he's very nice a very cool man and and loves to perform i think i think he's like in some ways i mean i love his music and i love watching him perform but i Also, I'm really inspired by him as a performer. He's 82, 83 now, and he's still, like, doing 200 shows a year or something. It's so crazy with these guys that are, like, 70, like, 75, 80.

Like, Bruce Springsteen's 75. Paul McCartney's something like 79, I think. All of these guys, and, like, I saw Paul McCartney at Glastonbury. He fucking looks like he's in his, like, late 60s. He's bopping around, going from concert to concert, show to show. Like, Bruce Springsteen puts on a three-hour show, Mick Jagger, all these old guys. There must be stuff that you can take that just keeps you young. I mean, I know there is because I'm fucking taking it.

But, like, just in the nick of time to have this, like, this whole, there's a whole, like, you know, group of older men who are just crushing it now. Sting still performs all the time, you know. Harrison Ford, still an action star. Yeah, Harrison Ford. And Harrison Ford's body is still banging. He's running in movies. No, he takes his shirt off in like one of the first seasons of Shrinking and you're like, excuse me, who put that body back together? Because that's not natural. He's like ripped. That's exciting. And he came to see you do a show, right? Barry Manilow? Barry came to see this show.

Well, he came to see this show. The first time he came to see me to show, I was doing this play off-off-Broadway that was about Barbra Streisand. And it was a really brilliant play, a one-man play. I didn't write it, but this guy, Jonathan Tolens,

wrote a really brilliant play that imagined... You know that she has a basement mall at her house? Like, she has a shopping mall in her basement? No, I didn't know that. Yes. Have you heard about this? A shopping mall. Yeah, because she can't, like, go to a normal mall

because she's Barbra Streisand, so she has been the basement. So, what, there are shops there? retail shops yes well not like not like the Gap or you know

Lane Bryant no not those Lane Bryant Forever 21 no like it's like an antique store and a gift shoppy and

who's picking out the items to sell in the shop it's her it's her collectibles it's like dresses that she wore in movies ah and

doll she's collected all these dolls there's a doll shop and there's like a yogurt shop like an actual yogurt shop. And so it's this like, it looks like a European arcade and it's all in the basement

of one of the homes on her property. And she did a book, you know, like back in 2010 or 11, a coffee table book of this house, this huge, amazing house and all the different homes on the compound. And this mall is chronicled. And this wonderful writer, John Tolenz,

was looking at the book with friends and he was like, how'd you like to be the guy who works down there? And everyone laughed and it sparked this idea. So he wrote a whole play imagining that a guy gets hired to work there. And this play is called Buyer and Seller, like a basement seller. And it imagines this guy gets hired to run the shops and he has one customer and she comes down and pretends to shop. And then it goes on and it's like not just – it's like – and it's all imagined from his mind and people would come who know her and they would flock to it.

I mean, people who know her kind of flocked to it and they were always like, how did you know? How did he know that she was like this? Because he just had this like incredible insight. So that's that's the first time Barry Manilow came to see me in a play about it was it was a play about Barbra Streisand. And it was so funny because we had just started doing it. I wasn't even I didn't like it. But it was a long monologue, like a hundred minute monologue. And I was like barely knew it.

I was still so nervous. and one day the house manager I came in and the house manager was like you'll never believe who bought tickets today and I was like who he's like I'll give you a hint it's like the male Barbra Streisand and I was like are you fucking kidding me Barry Manilow bought tickets to the show and I knew immediately who he meant and I said you will not tell me when he's coming and then I just pretended like he was there every night until he finally showed up and I was so good imagining him in the audience so now that's kind of a thing I do I just sort of pretend like he's there right now. Okay. Well, first of all, I don't think Barry Manilow bought tickets. I think

he called and said he wanted tickets. So that's the first inconsistency with your story. The second question, the second thing, because first of all, if he bought tickets, nobody would know about it unless he announced he was coming. Second of all, Michael, I wonder, do you think Barry was inspired by the show enough to build his own underground mall? Because that seems like something you would do only when things got completely out of control money-wise. When you have so much fucking money, you're like, I have a plane. I have six homes. I don't really know what else to do. I guess I don't want to go shopping again. But that usually just involves a person coming to your house and bringing you stuff. But I like it. She cloned her dogs too. You know,

Barbasher also cloned. She has like three or four of the same dog. I mean, I would like to clone people before I would like to clone dogs because each dog brings something different to the table, but some people who are A pluses, I really just want to see them over and over again reappear in different lifetimes. Like young again, like a young, you know, like a young Barry Manilow again, for example, just as an example. Perfect example. Exactly. That's your, that would be your choice. My choice. I don't know. I'd have to really think about that and narrow things down. What would you clone? I would, oh God, who would I clone? Well, I don't know. I don't know. I have to put thought into that because that's a serious question that I just posited myself or posed

to myself maybe we'll circle back by the end of the episode something will dawn on me something will dawn on me but they but like dogs like it also doesn't make sense because they don't have the same experiences as the as the dog before them so even when you think you're cloning them they're gonna have be a slightly it's like twins they have the same dna and genetic composition that's true but they don't end up exactly the same because of their life experiences so it's kind of a futile thing to do but if you really like the way somebody looked and the way that they walked and like those things, yeah, I would go for it. That sounds sexual and I, and it is. It should be. So Michael, with all these things that you do, like what, I mean, you,

first of all, congrats on all of your success because it feels really good to be successful. And I can tell that you are feeling it and you're having a moment and you deserve it because you're obviously a really hard worker. I don't know how anyone does anything on Broadway. I have no idea how you guys do that schedule. You have to, do you have to just give up everything? Kind of. I mean, It's kind of a, even though this play is only like 80 minutes long, O'Mary that we're doing right now, O'Mary is only like 80 minutes long. But you do kind of have to plan your whole day around the idea that I got that thing later. Yeah. That's going to be a lot of really concentrated energy.

And sometimes twice a day. Yeah. Sometimes twice a day. And actually on this show, it's really fun. We do it on Saturday. We do it at 5 p.m. And then we do it immediately again at 8.30, which is so cool, actually, to do it back to back. Right.

Right. Because sometimes you do it at two and then you don't do it again until eight. And you're like, all right, what am I going to do now? I got all this energy and all these endorphins running through my stuff, like try to sleep and eat or whatever. But it is a crazy. And I mean, I love it so much. I love being in theater so much because it's so exciting to tell a whole story to a group of people in the same and be in the same place at the same time. because you make a movie or a TV show and it's really fun and it reaches way more people, obviously, but you're such a cog in the wheel and you're not really part of the, you're like a part of the storytelling. You're not part of the whole story.

And when you start a play at 7.30 at night for this group of 900 people and you finish it together, it's so special and you share something with them. And it's really thrilling because I always get kind of emotional about it When I'm rehearsing a play and then there comes the point where you think, okay, we've been doing this in this room for each other, for the creative team over and over again.

Maybe the designers come in. Maybe we do it. But then at some point, new people are going to come in and then it's just going to be new people every night, every time. And they're going to have no idea what we're going to do for them. Even if they know the story or they know the play, it's still new. It's a new version. And and it gets it's really thrilling to imagine, oh, my gosh, these people have no idea what we've been in a room incubating for three, four weeks. They have no idea what's coming.

And this play, especially because it's oh, Mary, it's about Mary Todd Lincoln. People know that coming in, that it's a comedy about Mary Todd Lincoln. And the premise is that she's kind of a belligerent drunk who wants to be a cabaret star. And that's kind of all you really get. And then the story kind of just like, you know, out of the out of the gate is hysterical and crazy. And there are a lot of twists and turns. And my character, especially Mary's teacher, like I you have nobody really knows what I'm coming in with. And it's very cool.

It's a very thrilling thing to do every night. It's nice. I can see how much you enjoy your work. And I really like I respect that a lot. Because in order to really be successful in this business, you have to be doing it for the actual enjoyment of the act of doing it. I remember in my early career, I loved doing my shows, but I would burn out so much that when I would be on stage doing stand-up, I liked getting off stage more than I liked being on stage. I liked the idea of completion rather than the act of. and that's when I feel like I lost my like then I had to recalibrate and come back and actually be so present and really have something to say and enjoy my time on stage not going when is this

going to be over obviously because that's like working at a desk job you know what I mean if you're going to be in this business and you're a performer one of the things you have to do is love to perform you can't just like love all the other things that come with the recognition did that come around for you? Did you, did you come around? Yes. Yes. I took a long break. I took a like six years off of standup after I quit Chelsea lately. I didn't do standup for six years. And that was a long break, probably too long. But when I did come back, I actually, it took a lot of nerve and a lot of courage because I had hadn't used that muscle in so long, but I was, I had recalibrated in such a profound way. I'd gone to therapy. I did all this work on myself. Like I had stuff to deal with.

and so when I came back now it's like I'm so solid when I go out there I'm so present when I go out there I'm never even looking at the time you know what I mean like I'm never like like now I go over 20 minutes and I'm like oh shit I gotta wrap it up you know so it's just a much much healthier way for me as a performer but that was also burnout you know when you do too many things at once it's it's hard and and when you get successful you want to do all of the things that are coming your way it's hard to say no to anything right totally like yeah can i ask you can i ask you i know you're interviewing me but no no this is actually an interview this is actually my interview you're interviewing me so go ahead well because you hosted the critics choice awards this year well

i know you do it every year but this year i was there and lucky enough to receive one and it was right after trump was reinaugurated yes and you went there with some stuff and it was like it was a such a dicey time you know like everyone was afraid yes and and we and everyone was like what's she gonna say right and you you killed oh thank you i thought i thought you killed and like right out of the gate made like great great topical but so my question because i've hosted stuff i hosted some stuff too and i really like to host and i always think it's not at all like to me i mean i've never done stand-up but i feel like it's you're so you you have uh you have like parameters and you have a script and writers probably,

or I've always had writers that I've worked with, but how do you approach it differently than stand-up when you're hosting something, especially when the news cycle is so crazy and you want to be topical on something like live television? Because I think it's like literally taking the air out of, you know what I mean? Like you have to poke the,

like you have to like take the air out of the balloon. Like there's so much tension. Everyone is, it's the same way I approach stand-up, quite frankly even though it's a totally different room and a totally different set of like you know it's a totally different context because you're dealing with actors and actresses and the people are there to win awards so they're nervous and and they're competing with each other there's all of those elements you know what I mean so you just kind of want to be the person that sets the tone of the night that's how I always think of it like I'm going to go out there and make them understand

that this is going to be fun this isn't going to be too serious and and I'm going to say the things so that nobody else has to like you know I'll get it right out there like it was the blade it was right off the back of blake lively and ryan reynolds thing so like i could not wait to say that line because it was so it was at the height i mean i don't know i think it even went higher after that because there was such a crescendo with all of that drama but i had to say something about that because that with the backdrop of what we were experiencing politically just felt so inane right you're just like wait there's accusations of sexual misconduct but that's very blurry and everything she seemed to be saying, he was refuting. And I'm like, wait,

guys, we have a huge crisis that we're dealing with. Can you seriously get your shit together so we can fucking focus on the, on the loss of democracy? You know, that was before we were losing democracy. So yes, I appreciate the question because it is a different skill set a little bit, but the bottom line is like, when you are hosting one of those things, you are the leader and the conductor, you have to set the tone and then everyone will follow Oh, you know, nobody else wants to be in charge of that. No, it's, you know, I used to be like, I'll never host an award show.

And I'm doing it again this year. This will be like four years in a row, but it's the perfect award show for me because it isn't the Oscars where it's really serious. And if somebody loses, you know, they leave. The Critics' Choice is more of a party. You know, it feels that way anyway to me. Same with the Golden Globes.

That seems like more of a party. But this is the question I wanted to get back to you about. Okay, we can talk about me again, I guess. Yes. I just wanted to add, one of your jobs prior to booking Ugly Betty was medical marijuana testing. I tried to get that job like so many times. I'm not joking. Like whenever there's this, do you know what MAPS are? Like that company, it's not a company. No, MAP's like, you know, the psychedelic kind of organization. I'm going on a boat with them to Antarctica. So, I mean, who knows if I ever come back.

But I'm going on this trip to Antarctica with like a hundred people and they're all like, you know, it's all about psychedelics and the healing effects. But I have tried so hard to be the person that tests drugs, medical marijuana. Maybe 10, 15 years ago, I was interested in testing that.

And I'm always like, bring me the drugs. I'll do them because I'm like a horse. like i can take a lot of drugs and still be standing so how did you get that job and why why why did i get it uh it was in the village voice it was like that's why i didn't get it that's why i didn't get it fuck it's always the village voice yeah it was like and it was always it was a joke we would always joke about it like you know they could they have these ads in the village voice are they real are they and i just answered one and actually my good friend my dearest friend and i we were roommates and we both answered it and he had this kind of like brain

thing it was it's not that serious but at the time he was like having some seizures and stuff and and and so he did not get accepted and he was so pissed because he had this one little tiny anomaly and and i did get accepted and i would go in it was wild it was a wild thing i would go into a hospital and I would sit in a hospital room and it was a double blind test. So the person administering it to me did not know what they were giving me. And it was always a different level of strength. So, so like one time I got just high as fuck and I was, I was so stoned and I was like loopy, like, like rolling around in the hospital and playing with the, with all the different things. It's even better to be in a hospital. Another one of my favorite things is a hospital.

I love hospitals. You love hospitals. I love being taken care of. I love when people are attending to me in a medical way. I love when I can pretend that I'm in pain and then they bring me something. I love that whole setup. It's safe. Because anything, nothing's, what could possibly go wrong in a hospital if you're stoned and high?

It's like they're going to come and help you. Absolutely. And she stayed with me. She was very cool. this lady young lady stayed with me and she you know made sure and she was sort of and i remember when i would get really high the days i would get really high i'd be like she's i think she's i think it's double blind but maybe it's not maybe that's just what they say and she you know i get paranoid and and then i would take these tests so they would put me in front of a computer and i would

take these like cognitive tests that were like they would probably like a shape would pop up it's a triangle or whatever and fill in the blank and and sometimes i was really good at it and sometimes I wasn't. And then there were days when it was like a placebo. So they'd give me a joint. I would smoke a few puffs of this. I was just going to ask. I would be pissed about that. Yeah. And I was like, well, this is nothing. I can tell there's nothing going on here and I'm bored. And then I would not, I, sometimes I wouldn't do as well on the test because I was like cranky and bored and, and then they would feed me hospital food. That's where you, that's where Uber Eats comes into the picture, but you probably didn't have that then. So no, this was

so long ago. This is 20 years ago. When they say, when you say they give you cognitive tests, Did they give you comprehension? Like, did they ask you, like, to read something and then regurgitate it or, like, give a synopsis? Oh, no. It wasn't like that. It was all on the computer. I think there might have been, like, some word. It was definitely memory stuff, but it was simple games.

It was never, like, read an essay and tell us what it was about. It was never like that. And it was all on the computer. So there was no—it was always multiple choice or fill in the blank. Because, like, when I'm stoned, like, lately I've been staying at a friend's house because I'm waiting for my house to be done. And I take an edible usually around, like, 6 or 7 p.m. just to, like, set the tone for the night. And then if we watch a show and if it's not the most compelling show, she'll be like, wait, what just happened? And I'm like, I have no idea.

Like, I cannot tell you what we're watching. I don't know what situation led to the situation we're watching. My comprehension skills are like, but if I knew I had to pay attention, I would. I just am in la-la land. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, totally. So I always wonder, like, I'm like, I should take a comprehension skill and see if I had to pay attention if I could under these conditions.

It is true that what's, it's true when you're stoned that like, you don't remember things, but I have, I have, I have started, well, I've been doing it for a while now, but when I have to learn lines, like a big chunk of text or something, or a scene, I will do it high. I will learn it high. And then, and then like immediately when I'm high and I try to like, if I say, will you run this with me? I won't be able to do it.

But then like when I go back to it later, sober, it's there. So you think learning it while you're stoned helps cement the memorization? I think so. Oh, well, this is a great ad for marijuana. This podcast is sponsored by THC, Indica, and Sativa. I hate when people ask, is it Indica or Sativa? I'm like, it's whatever the fuck you want it to be. It might never matter.

It doesn't matter what you take. You can make it whatever you want. If you want to stay up, stay up. But people are weak. You know what I mean, Michael? people are very weak. You're right. You're right, Chelsea. Okay. We're going to take a break and we're going to be right back with Michael Urie. This week, we'd love to hear from queer couples. If you're a queer couple with a question,

please write into DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full or come home at all and will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how

other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the survivor files. I just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and

your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm from best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is the trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop

culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around

here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip. I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back with Michael Urie. He's currently enjoying, he's basking in the glory of his Emmy nomination for Shrinking. And we take callers on this show, so we're going to give some advice out to people who are calling in. Okay. Are you ready for that action? Yes. I believe you are. I believe you and your cork board or whatever I'm looking at,

polished cement, are ready. All right. Well, our first question comes from Mandy. Oh, Mandy. This is a Barry Manilow. Mandy, I'm a god. She came and she gave without taking. But I sent her away. I planned that. No, I didn't actually. So Mandy says, my sister is getting married in September. She lives in Detroit and I live in the UK. About a year ago, I completely stopped talking to my parents. My dad was an alcoholic, and my mom enabled him. When I brought this up to my mom recently, she acted completely shocked, like she had no clue my dad ever treated us poorly. I already was keeping a distance from my parents, but that moment of pure gaslighting made me decide to cut off contact completely.

I've thought long and hard about whether to go to my sister's wedding, and I truly think it's best for my mental health to not get involved in that family situation. My sister and I talk regularly, but I haven't been back to the U.S. to visit family in almost a decade, nor has my sister come to visit me. And I've never met this fiancé, even on video chat. My sister has asked me to be her maid of honor. I sort of said yes, although I had explained to her that I would not at all feel bad if she gave the role to her best friend, since I wouldn't be there or be doing any of the maid of honor jobs ahead of time. I know that I need to tell her sooner rather than later. I'm just not sure how to tell her. My family has this whole passive aggressive vibe and I don't want her to freeze me out because of

this. My inclination is to lie and say I got a job offer and I'm not going to be able to take vacation time in the first six months, but any advice? Sincerely, Mandy. And this one's just an email. Okay, Mandy, I'll go first for this one, Michael. Mandy, first of all, I think you have to go to your sister's wedding. You don't have to stay there for five days or three days even. You can fly in the night before if you want. If you want to avoid your parents, I understand that, But you said yes to your sister, and that's your sister, and she's getting married once, and, like, you already kind of committed. So, like, to say you got a job is a way to end—it's like a relationship breaker. Like, now if you back out, that's not good.

You already told her you would do it, and follow-through is kind of like 90% of life, in my opinion. I think you have to follow through on your commitments, and I think you have to take your baggage that your family has, your family baggage, and literally just be above it for the duration of time that you're going to be home for your sister's wedding. Suck it up, demonstrate what a good sister looks like, and then get the fuck out of there. Don't get involved in any drama. Be a great bridesmaid.

Do anything you can for your sister. Let her know. You can only come in for a limited amount of time. I mean, you're coming from the UK, right, to America. So maybe it's only three days or whatever, but you're going to feel better for doing it than you're going to feel for canceling on her. That's going to create a bunch of drama.

I promise you. Michael, what do you think? I totally agree. I think you're totally right. I also think especially the lie, the possibility of telling a lie. First of all, you just told it on this podcast, which is, you know, like what if she finds out? Well, this is a write-in. It could be anybody.

And also she probably used a fake name, Michael. So just cancel those. But it's so specific. Well, it is. It is specific. Actually, I don't know why I'm defending it. I fucking say shit all the time that I think no one's going to hear. and everyone fucking hears your show on my own podcast.

You don't listen to this show. Yeah, exactly. My sister's like, why are you talking about our problems on your podcast? I'm like, where else am I supposed to air my dirty laundry? But yeah, like when you make a commitment, you got to follow through on a commitment. That's like being an adult and a grownup

and everything that's important about, you know, having a good kind of moral compass. Yes, I totally agree. And I also think lying is, I mean, white lies are one thing, but that's a major lie. And I just think lying is so dangerous because the truth is always easier to remember. And it's a long life. And also how does somebody feel when you say, oh, sorry, I got a job. I can't, I got a job offer. I can't come to your wedding. It's like,

that's kind of like a lame excuse for a wedding should be paramount to a job offer, especially when it's not like a, you know, she's talking about what sounds like a freelancer type situation. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. And you made a commitment and, and it's, you know, and take the high road. your sister, you'd be the better person for taking the high road. Because if you're the one who's a victim of gaslighting and you're like, I can't believe I was gaslighted. It's like, then you're a victim. Like you, are you a victim? Do you want to be a victim or do you want to be, you know, on higher ground? Yeah. And you can even express your concerns to her. Like, Hey, can we maybe make sure I'm not sitting next to mom and dad for a lot of

this? And then also like main, make sure to maintain your autonomy. Like it's easy to be like, I'll stay with a family member or my sister or whatever and ride with people. No, get a car, get a hotel like make sure you can have your own space and get a hooker bring a hooker to the wedding that'll be a great way to not get invited back all right man that's really good advice having your own car yeah that's that's such a good in general in life to anyone who's listening if you can get your own car yes yeah that way you can always get a car all right well mandy let us know how it goes our first caller today is mitchell his subject line of his email is. I'm definitely the asshole. Hello, I'm a 36-year-old man, and I've been with my husband,

40 years old, for almost 10 years, married for five, and we've never had sex. When we first met, he would give me a peck on the lips occasionally, never with tongue, and the only time he would try to do sexual things with me or even French kiss is when he was drunk. After about a year of being together, I started cheating. I was looking for what I wasn't getting at home, and I'm 100% positive that I'm the asshole for this. I feel like a piece of shit for the amount of times, which I can't even count, that I've cheated on my husband. Him not being intimate with me is not an excuse for cheating and I'm well aware of that. I was attracted to him and wanted a sexual relationship with him. This is something I made very clear from the beginning

and I always let him know that I thought he was sexy, I wanted to be intimate, but he seemed very uninterested in that part of our lives. I've asked him multiple times why and he says, I've just never been very sexual because I don't know what to do. So much time has gone by and now the attraction I once had is gone. It's taken away my confidence in myself. Not having someone want me in that way has left me feeling unattractive and worthless. About a month ago, I asked for a separation. I was so afraid to do this because he's the breadwinner. He does 100% not want a separation and thinks that therapy and still living together will work, but I disagree. I think I need to learn to be financially stable on my own and know how to make it in the world without someone there to

pick up the pieces. I also feel so bad about the horrible husband I've been to him. I feel like he definitely deserves better than me. At this point, he's my best friend and a roommate that I share a bed with and an occasional peck on the lips. To complicate things, we share custody of my sister's kids. I moved out of our house last week with my 15-year-old niece and the boys stayed with him. So the question, am I the asshole for wanting out of this marriage, for wanting better for myself from a partner and wanting to give my best self to a partner in return? Am I the most selfish person ever? I know that I'm not the victim in this situation and that I am the villain. This is definitely not the person I ever saw myself becoming. I was always the one getting cheated

on and now I'm the one who's cheated. I love your podcast and enjoy the advice you have to offer others. So I hope you have some for me, Mitchell. Hi, Mitchell. This is our special guest, Michael Urie. It's nice to meet you. You too. You're not a bad person. No, you're not a bad person. Stop self-immolating like that. You're not a bad person. Your actions are circumstantial. So first of all stop that you have to start flip the script on that like you were in a situation that was untenable and the reason I mean and it's very crazy to even hear and I'm sure it's not as uncommon as I'm acting it is that you were in a non-sexual marriage for as many years as you were like that's not fun for you and I'm sure it's not fun for your partner because he sounds like

I have a friend who's gay who doesn't like to have sex either. And I just, I don't understand that because the human touch, even sexually, like, you know, people, people need that. It's like scientific. And I can understand that you're, you're a man, you have needs and you went out and met your needs because they weren't being met at home. So I don't think you're a terrible person at all. Michael, do you want to talk a little bit first, like from gay man to gay man, since I'm a woman. I'm going to come in later. But yeah, I also know that that's the thing that there are people who are not very sexual. It sounds like your husband maybe didn't feels like he has never tried it, had it been been open to it. And that could be out of disinterest or it could be out

of fear. But I think you can have a relationship with him that is non-sexual, but that doesn't mean that you can't have a sexual relationship with other people that, you know, like, I mean, also like us gays, like things are pretty fluid often, you know, there's a lot of open relationships in the gay community. And there's a lot of, we don't have to subscribe to heteronormative ways of monogamy. So I feel like there are probably some boundaries you can set with each other. I do think, you know, I was saying this on the last person, I do think lying is bad because it's always easier to remember the truth. And, and it's just like, you know, that'll just to haunt you, but I feel like honest, frank conversations are possible. You're down the

road. I mean, you've been doing this for so long now, so I get it that it's complicated. Now you have kids and there's so many other things. And you moved out, right? You moved out. And you've moved out. I've moved out about a week and a half ago. So you've basically done all of the things that I would tell you that you should do already. You've kind of taken control of the situation. So what's the temperature now between you and your husband or ex-husband or however you want to frame it? Still married. But yeah, I think the situation is more, it's easy. I would dare say it's the best fucking divorce ever if it's going to happen like that, because it's so easy. And he obviously, like I said, he doesn't want to be separated or to get divorced. This is not the road he wants to go down. But I just, at this point, I feel like it's the right thing to do.

And that's why I moved out because I feel like I keep, I keep choosing his happiness over mine, which is that he wants to be with me. And I've said continuously throughout our relationship that he, if we don't make it or if something ever happened between us, he would never want to be with anyone else. It would just be me and I'm the only one he wants and all these sweet things. But I also feel like that's made me stay longer because I'm so afraid of hurting him. and because he is a good guy but i'm just not happy and haven't been for so long and i just feel like it's time to choosing myself but even though so with that i was like well i kind of

still feel like the asshole for like feeding all these times that i have and and i should have chosen myself then and and maybe not done that so i didn't have to worry about the hurt feelings that i would have for having done that to someone does he know about your infidelities he does not I think, I do think that he suspects, but he, I think he just doesn't want to, he's that desperately not wanting to lose me that he just, he would never say anything if he did know. And did you ever broach the idea of doing an open relationship? No, because I, as crazy as this sounds, I didn't want that, but that's not what I want. I would love to be with someone who just needs to be with me and be in a relationship with just me. that's what I want from a relationship, which is why it's so crazy that I've done what I've done

in our relationship. And does he understand that the relationship is over now? Is he in any sort of acceptance mode about that? Not at all. No. He thinks that we're going to be separated, that we'll work things out, we'll get therapy, and it's all going to work out for the best. And I just don't see that happening. Okay. Well, I think, first of all, congratulations. you did a great job by moving things along in the right direction you're not still living there you've made big moves and that takes a lot of courage so thank you you're on the right track stop talking to yourself like you're a bad person you're not a bad person you have needs and they weren't being met so you went elsewhere okay so that's okay i don't i think that it would be worth

going to a couple's counselor therapist with him for a few sessions to to rip the band-aid off slowly and explain to him, because eventually he's going to understand that he's going to be happier too. You know what I mean? Like he's going to understand the issue with your sister's kids. You're basically best friends already. That's what you are is best friends. And you can continue that relationship once you've made a few things clear to him and that this isn't enough for you sexually. And it might be helpful based on what a therapist advises you to be a little bit honest about your extracurricular activities to let him know how serious it is.

Like, I don't want to be like that. I want to be in a loving, committed, monogamous relationship, but I'm not getting what I need from you. So this is not workable for me. And it's been so many years. I no longer even have these feelings towards you. And as difficult as all of these things are to say, I want us to be friends and raise these kids together

and continue on the relationship that I think we've already built for however many years we've been together. that's what you have. Now you're going to be living separately, which isn't going to be that big of a difference. You're not going to be a couple anymore. And like, I think that with the right therapist, like you do three or four of those sessions, it's kind of like exiting a relationship. You know, if you think of it like that and make your intention clear, I want you to be in a better headspace about this. I think we should go to a therapist. And when you sit down

with a therapist, they're going to say, are you here to save the relationship or are you here to leave the relationship. You know what I mean? And you have to be honest because being lying to someone to save their feelings is not helping them. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's really good advice. You know what I mean? It's hurtful. It doesn't feel good, but it's like, it's important to let that person move on and start to heal from their pain. They have to understand that it's a real situation. And you know, and if you have to, you know, I wouldn't say you've had zillions of affairs. That's not necessary, but you can say, yeah, I've actually had to meet, have my needs meant elsewhere. Like I'm not, I didn't get married to kiss someone on the lips. I'm so sorry,

but like, that's not enough for me. And I wish it were, I tried, I tried, I tried and it's not. Yeah. And I think like, you got to work real hard to forgive yourself, even though if you don't tell him about the infidelities, like you don't need forgiveness from him. You just need to forgive yourself. Yeah. Do you think he really doesn't want to be a sexual person or do you think that there's you know a hang-up i mean i've looked into like asexuality and and maybe thought that's where he was i mean he had been he's been with women before and then he had been with a couple of guys before he met me he came out really late in life where i came out when i was 13 so the weird thing is i've i've never i've never questioned a gay man's sexuality and thought

maybe he's straight so that but i i've asked that a lot yeah did he enjoy straight sex uh as far as i know it was good for them i mean i don't we haven't really talked too much about that but um the but with yeah with us it's like i guess that's the part that's weird to me it's like the not getting or only getting sex or sexual things whenever he's drinking and drunk i mean drunk to the point where he passed out you know in the middle of of trying to do anything sexual with me or the even the kissing is weird and it's like i don't know if he's just afraid of doing it and he's that insecure with himself maybe i don't i really don't know i've asked myself all of these questions but i can't pinpoint and he won't ever say the only thing he ever says is i just don't

know what to do and i'm like well let's do this and try this but he will only do this or try this when he's drunk was coming out hard for him that's the even crazier thing his family is amazing and they all were like super accepting of him and loving and caring and all the opposite of what the hell i thought so it can be just as much of a mindfuck as having to fight your way out i think because there's i mean this is like like coming out of the closet there's no easy way to do it even if it goes well or it goes badly like like we're doing it every day in this in this society you come out of the closet every single day and and you know like we all have hang-ups and when we're gay and we spend all of this time pretending we are not for however long whether

it's until we're 13 years old or or 40 years old that that is a period of time when you are completely lying to everyone including yourself and and so the the hang-ups are totally natural and not to be ashamed of. And maybe, maybe, you know, maybe there's a world where he doesn't like gay sex and he does only like straight sex, but he loves you and he wants to be with you. The other thing is also, you know, you're not attracted to him anymore is what you said in your letter. So it's like, even if he were to like work through this, or you guys would go to a sex therapist and they would try and help you guys push you along a little bit further sexually or anywhere, basically it's your, you've lost your mojo for it. Cause otherwise I would say,

okay, like exhaust all efforts, but like that kind of ship has sailed, you know? So I, I would really just focus on the children of course, and focus on yourself and forgiving yourself and, and no, you're not a bad person at all. People do. That's not like the worst thing in the world. Yeah. I just want to give you a lot of love and a big hug and like, you know, good for you for knowing that you, you have to choose yourself. Like if you want to have a nice sex life and a real great relationship with someone that you, those things are both possible. You can have a great sex life in a relationship with someone. So there's no reason you shouldn't do that if that's what you desire. Yeah, for sure. Also the world's going to end like any minute. So you

better get out there and have a fucking good time. You know what I mean? Like enjoy your life. please everyone listen enjoy your escuchame enjoy your life all right Mitchell will you check in with us in a couple months absolutely thank you so much for the advice I really appreciate all of that and the love

so thank you so much yeah big love to you Mitchell bye bye bye he's a sweetheart I mean yeah but also it was so nice that he had taken all these steps and then Yes.

Usually, Michael, when people call in, it's like, I'm in this situation. What do I do? And they haven't taken the steps. And I'm like, oh, you know, well, first you need to get the fuck out of the house. Yeah. Well, and part of that was actually an update because we had, you know, I'd emailed him and it was that first part and he was like, and now I've moved out. So that part was actually like an update.

Catherine goes camping with all of our callers at first as a preliminary. Exactly. Well, our next caller today is Emily. The subject line of her email is lying about having cancer. Dear Chelsea, my husband's best friend has been dating this girl, and I really do not like her. I have my reasons. For starters, she has lied for years about having various health issues. She claimed to have cancer, but then last year admitted she was, quote unquote, misdiagnosed.

Although she only told that to one person and nobody else, but the secret is out because of how much she lies and how much the record needs to be straight about her. The craziest part is, her boyfriend, a dear friend to my husband and me as well, was recently diagnosed with leukemia, and the irony is chilling. She continuously sends Snapchats or group chat messages about her health issues while neglecting the fact that she's a liar and also minimizing her boyfriend's issues. In fact, she goes as far as complaining about him needing so much from her and how he, quote, better propose after all she has done for him. It's really hard to type out all the reasons she is a terrible person, but I'm hoping I'm giving the gist. She is constantly looking for attention and pity, but quite frankly,

I have none to give. I've never liked her for many reasons and nothing can change that. I'm at a point where I wish I could say something to her about how I simply do not consider her to be a friend in any way, but it's tough given that her boyfriend is our dear friend. Looking for any advice on how or if I should communicate my dislike and distrust and disinterest in being her friend or just continue to be fake. She has burnt bridges and created a circle of mistrust around her that frankly, I do not wish to surround myself with, but it's hard to draw a line in the sand without communicating something for her to get the message across. We'd love to hear your blunt advice, Emily. Hi, Emily. How are you? Hello. I'm good. How are you? Hi, good. This

is our guest, Michael Urie. He's here today. Hi. Hey, Emily. Well, she sounds like a real pain in the ass. I don't like when women act like that. I don't like when anyone acts like that, but it's very, very annoying. I mean, I hear you. I would go, yeah, I would be telling this woman in a second what I thought of her, but for what? Like, what's that going to accomplish? You know what I mean? It's almost more important that her boyfriend know about her instead of her. She's not going to change because she's got some problems, obviously. No, she for sure has like Munchausen syndrome or something. And it's kind of like what my friends and I are just saying is like, it's not even about her anymore it's more about like her boyfriend who is actually our friend and who we care about

deeply so I've I've you know even before kind of chatting with you guys I've been chatting with my sister-in-law about maybe just addressing things with him and just talking to him and being like you know I'm worried about you care about you and kind of just pushing I don't want to say pushing her off to the wayside but essentially doing that because quite frankly I I don't really care about her and I don't care to explain myself to her. Yeah. And I wouldn't like, like, is he on these group chats that she's sending? No, not at all. It's just two girls. It's not to any of the boys that we're friends with, significant others or anybody. So I'm not even sure like how in the know he is about a lot of

the things she says and does. And how does your boyfriend feel about broaching this object with the two of you as a couple like talking to him is he open to that he is so non-confrontational and it would come down to me being the bad guy which which I have and like I'm totally fine at this point like taking that on because I don't really care what she thinks of me but at the same time like he's very isolated already because of like taking care of himself and then in turn kind of taking care of her right now because whatever is happening with her and then just not going out. Yeah. I would have a straight up conversation with him and do it without your boyfriend because he's not going to be helpful. Anyone who's not going to be helpful. No, I think

you should go straight to him and be like, I need to have a real conversation with you and be as direct as possible and show him some of the Snapchats. Just be like, I don't care if this woman likes me or not. Like I'm invested in you. You can tell her I did this. I told you I don't really care like make it so that it's you you can bring her in here and i'll tell her to her face you know like your attitude is great because it is you you are caring for your friend and now that he's dealing with leukemia the last thing he should be dealing with is some woman who's like trying to get him to propose to her that's gross yeah and just the mere fact that she's not even like encouraging a better lifestyle like like i don't wait there's also a show that just came out

with caitlin denever or that that one about the girl in australia who faked oh yeah remember she faked all of her illnesses it was like a wellness guru yeah she was a wellness guru and she pretended she had all these diseases it was just a huge show on netflix fucking make him watch that go you have to watch this with your girlfriend make him watch that show it's really good and it's based on a true story there was a real woman in australia who did this and she faked all these diseases and then she got found out and yeah that would that should be the first thing that you So the woman's name is Belle Gibson, and the show is Apple Cider Vinegar. Apple Cider Vinegar.

Oh, yes. Funny enough, one of my best friends watched it, and we've made the comparison of the situation. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So maybe tell them that they have to watch that. Go, oh my God, you guys, we just saw the best show. Have them watch that, and then go in for your conversation.

No, I mean, I think that's a good starting point for sure. This also brings up another question. When someone who you love has like a shitty partner and you want to hang out with that person, but not the partner, like, how do you do that? How do you go about being like, we don't want you to bring her to the barbecue or whatever? Yeah. I mean, you run the risk of them, like him canceling you out as a friend, but like, I'm sorry.

I feel like being morally like, you know, upfront is, is more important than, than worrying about the repercussions of the truth. You know what I mean? Like, and I think you do too. And so like, I like that you have this attitude that you're not, that you want to say something. I think you should say something. It takes, it's so much easier to sit back and do nothing and watch your friend just deal with this one.

That's the easier way to do it. And to talk behind their backs. A real friend goes and tells her friend, like, listen, this is what's happening. This is what we all think. It's gross. I hate seeing you treated like this. These text messages and these snapshots are gross. She's faking illnesses.

Like you need to wake up. You're sick and you need people around you who love you and care about you. And, you know, what else are you doing it for? You already have a husband. It's not like you're hitting on him. Well, yeah, I'm like, I'm 34 years old. I don't need more friends. If I lose one, it's at doing it out of the goodness of my heart to just kind of wake

him up, give him a little shake. And I'm at the point, like, I don't care. Yeah, right. Okay, good. Okay, good. I worry about my boyfriend caring about the divide it might make, but I think I would go into it with well intentions that it's like if if you want to cut him out, that's your prerogative. But you should you should dislike me for what I'm saying. This has nothing to do with

him. Yeah, absolutely. Add that to the list of things. But I support you 100 percent. And please follow up with us. Let us know how it goes. That conversation goes. Yes, I absolutely will. Thank you so much. Good luck. Thanks, Emily. Big stamp of approval, Emily. OK, bye. Bye. OK, we're going to be right back and we're going to wrap up with Michael Urie. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half-full, or come home at all? And will you finish Episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers?

Get Bell PureFiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney+, from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for 2 years on Internet with a 2-year term and auto-pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.

Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.

Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip,

I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back to wrap up with Michael Urie. Michael, how did you enjoy your therapy sessions? It was good. You give really good advice. Oh, thank you. So fast. How do you come up with that so quickly? I'm very impressed. And she doesn't look at these beforehand. Like this is all off the cuff.

It's really, it's really good. You've, you've, you've, you've really figured out how to like zero in on the problem and, and you're brave. I'm so, I'm not confrontational and, and I'm afraid of lying. And so I'm, I'm, I'm a little bit of a noodle like that, but. Honesty doesn't have to be a confrontation. It can be like, you know, I have to tell you something. You know, this is what's happening. I just saw this happen. You didn't see it. It's about you. I want you to know that's a friend. That's not a confrontation, you know, going to that girl and going, you're a liar. You're that's a confrontation. And it's also unnecessary because she's not going to change. You know, she's got big problems if she's lying about having cancer.

But anyway, listen, we solved the world's problems today. Things are looking up. Okay. We needed a bright spot in our day. I definitely needed a bright spot in my day. This was it. This is going to be when i write my three favorite things about my gratitude journal tonight i'm going to say well this is one of my highlights having michael uri on the podcast we had great callers katherine today i mean great advice and good good healthy vibes good vibes yes so and i just am very delighted to have you you're a delightful person yeah thank you i'm such a huge fan i love this show and i love you and i'm i was really delighted to be asked thank you oh yay yay well i hope i bump into you in person at some point and we can have a, we can have a nice stiff drink together.

Yes. That's kind of nice. We'll have a joint. We'll have a joint together. Yes. Okay, Michael, have a great day. Thanks for coming on. Thanks so much. Thank you guys. Okay. Well, that's the end of our episode and reminding people, we got a lot of feedback on our Yamanika episode. People were loving Yamanika. Yamanika is opening for me in Vegas on August 30th. So if you want to see the two of us in action, we'll be there. Okay. Well, we'll see you next Thursday. Bye. Bye.

Okay, my remaining dates for Vegas. There are remaining dates for this year. Summertime is coming and I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on August 30th and then November 1st and 29th. November 1st and November 29th. I will be in Las Vegas at the Cosmo

performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea. It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay? Thank you. Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law.

And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for

anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by.

Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you probably won.

Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh, no way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business

and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.