Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Find Your Person with Yanise Monét

Episode Date: January 25, 2024

Chelsea’s friend Yaya joins her in-studio this week to talk about how to break up a marriage, what it means to find your person,  and the one thing Yaya can’t call Chelsea in public.  Then: Family drama erupts and a husband and wife aren’t sure who should still be in their lives.  A remote worker finds herself stuck in a red state. And a longsuffering wife is disappointed in her man… and wonders if being with a man is the problem.     * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Catherine.

Hi, Chelsea. You have a baby with you. Oh, the baby is in the house. I have Bernice on my lap because we have a workman in the house, and she, I think, hates men pretty much. I don't know where she got that from. What a surprise. Like mother, like daughter.

No, I don't hate men. Stop saying that. It's affecting my ability to get penetration. Chelsea loves men in all the senses. I do love men. I do. I'm having actually a very good time with some men. I'm glad about that for you.

I have a lot of flirtations going on at home, abroad. Anyway, Doug is arriving. Casey is driving him up on Thursday. He arrives. Doug is so fucking – I already talked about Doug. He's so beautiful. I want to be one of those people who bangs on about my dogs. But he is going to be – I'm going to be really – it's going to ruffle my feathers because this means –

basically, Bernice has an air tag, like an Apple air tag on her. so I can just let her go out and then I go find her, you know, when I feel like it 10 minutes later. She figures it out. Yeah, because she doesn't go anywhere. She just, like, pees and then looks at the house and then looks at the trees. But Doug is going to be a fucking maniac.

Like, he is going – and I already get stopped by Bernice. You know, it was so cute. There was, like, this group of, like, eight 25-year-old guys renting a house down the street from me. And when I was walking with her, they were like, oh, my God, look at that little dog bear. And I was like, it's so nice when men that age love dogs and notice a dog. Like, they all stopped and they all pet her.

I was like, you guys are so cute. That's so sweet. Yeah, it was really sweet. But I get so much attention from Bernice. I'm like, oh, Doug is going to be a nightmare because everyone's going to stop us about this guy. I mean, he is too good looking. He is going to have all the energy. And Bernice has a personality a bit like a Xanax.

Yeah, she has taken a Xanax. She probably took one of mine. But also, Doug is going to have to, because he's a puppy and he's eight months old, and this is going to be a new house, and he's going to have driven with Casey. He's been shuffled around a bit, you know, to try to get him up here. He's been with my Belle. She's tried to, you know, hypnotize him, I'm sure. But he's going to have to go out a lot.

And that is not my strong suit, taking the dogs out. Like, I just, at some point last season, I just started putting pee pads out on the balcony and let them just go pee out there. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm like living in a trailer park, basically. But, yeah, I'm really excited about my new family. It's just my dream dog. It's arrived.

he's my baby. I love him. I had a great ski day yesterday. I'm about to go hop off of this after we're done and go skiing again. And I am just really, really, and I've been writing my book and it's finally coming together. I got so much work done with my ski buddy, Kelly, her daughters are twins and Katie and Jesse. They basically move in with me for winter when I move up here. Great. They call me dad. I love it. And Jesse and I had like a work study program this weekend and I got more writing done. I wrote for six straight hours and I organized everything. I think this book, when I am ready to announce the title and the release date of the book, people are going to

be really, I think this is going to be really something special. That is fantastic. Now, okay. So your writing process, are you like, I got to wait for inspiration. I got to sit down, see if the inspiration comes. No, I just have to allot time and sit down and just start writing because the only way to keep writing is to start writing. You just have to start. And then like, I was writing this book, but there was like a joyfulness missing in the writing of the book. The way I lived my life wasn't coming through the page. And the page is about how to live this joyful experience of life. And so I don't know what happened, but something shifted. Actually, I've been working with that new therapist and I think she shifted some energy in me.

Yeah. Because we do these kinds of exercises and she's like, okay, we're going to get rid of that old stuff. Like let's move into this new stuff that you want. And yeah. So I'm, yeah, I feel good. I know how much I love Whistler. It's just, I never want to leave. And you're so restored there. Like you, you are getting positive vibes and you're able to put out positive vibes. But when you're like exhausted, you just don't have anything to give, you know? Yeah, right. You're an empty vessel. So anyway. Oh, so as a great follow up to last week's episode, we have the other half of Sam J, which is called Yaya. I actually have a follow up from Sam's episode from one of our people who wrote in,

and it's pretty juicy, Chelsea. Oh, oh, oh, is it about Yaya? No, no, no, no. Oh, oh. But it is about cheating, and someone had written in about her sister's husband was running around and had this work bestie that he had spent the night with,

but he said they were just friends sort of thing. It was a female work bestie. Well, Elle wrote in with a follow-up. She said, Hi there, wanted to provide an update on my sister-in-law and her husband regarding his inappropriate relationship with his co-worker. I appreciated all your feedback and advice because it definitely validated the way I felt. So, update. It all came out. A two-year affair with the girl, plus sex workers, and a few other

casual one-night stands here and there. And guess what? My sister-in-law has yet to leave despite her last straw being broken. He's totally playing the victim and I don't think understands her need to heal he's in his own sex therapy and they're in discernment counseling and at first we were all very emotional about it but as of lately we've learned that she does need to step away on her own and deal with this in her own way even if it does waste more time for her she's only going to be ready when she's ready it sucks it hurts but it's their experience even though i'm hoping she finally does gain the self-worth to leave thanks again l okay i mean wow so update Not great for sister-in-law, but now we know.

Sex therapy. It's so hard for me to take that seriously, even though I know it's a real thing. You know, it's just like sex therapy. Really? You can't keep your fucking dick in your pants? I mean, honestly, I don't know. What's wrong with people? I know.

You can't control yourself? I know. And this is like sociopath behavior. Like this many affairs? I know, I know. It's gross. No, no, no. You can't fix that.

You can't fix that. Okay. Well, anyway, let's move on to Yaya. I don't think she needs any introduction. You're going to understand what I'm talking about when you listen to this interview, because this girl is one hot potato. I would like to introduce the world to, if you don't know of her yet, you will find out about her at some point. We spoke about her in her absence when I had Sam Jay on the podcast. Right, Catherine? Yes, we did. We talked about her significant

other who is very, very significant. Her name is Yaya and she is a fucking, she is trouble with a capital fucking T. Okay. And now here she is. She's sitting across from me. We're in New York city welcome to new york city you live here thank you yes i do live here so actually you should say to me welcome welcome to new york thank you welcome i would have welcomed you if i knew you were here thank you yeah yeah that's a dig because that's a dig because she just said oh how long you were here for it would have been nice to know and i said before we got on air i'm sitting right across from you so obviously this is you knowing anyway that is true but this is the kind of shit i'm dealing with with this woman and i met yaya well i met you like at the montreal comedy festival

I think was the first time I met you. Yeah, that was like three years ago. Yeah, and what stood out were her eyelashes and her nails are equally, they're the same length. Her eyelashes you could use as, you know, the flippers when you go in swimming. That is true. You could swim with those eyelashes and her nails.

So when I first met her, I was like, oh, this woman is trouble, and I should just, you know, watch myself. And I wasn't wrong. My instincts were right. And then she came to Mallorca with a whole group. We had like a comedy week in Mallorca. It was Sam and Fortune and Jax and Jamie Greenberg and a bunch of people.

And that was really fun. And then we really bonded. And you guys were planning on kind of leaving the whole time that you were there in case. Well, we had an out. Right. Explain that, please. Well, I mean, it is kind of scary. You're going on vacation with people you don't know.

So we had an out. We had an option to out if we didn't want to be there anymore. But we ended up liking you. But you said scary. You're leaving out the white part. Yes. Right. Well, it was a group of whites.

I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, but also it is kind of intimidating when you're the only Blacks there. You don't know what's going to happen, so I don't know if our lives are going to be in danger. And also, you kept trying to take me hiking. Why the fuck did you keep trying to take me hiking? Because it's good exercise. Everything that I was suggesting were activities that were going to enhance your life. You were even trying to make Sam go hiking with you, if you recall. Yeah, together, because I wanted to do it together.

I wasn't going to go hiking with you alone. Yes, yes. But I'm also a number. Like, I'm a safety number. You think I'm going to be the one? No, it was like six against two. So it was like we had to, I had to keep the numbers. You had to branch off from the white people?

And you were also, you wouldn't go into the water with me at night. You wouldn't get into a kayak. Well, that was kind of spooky. Okay. Well, explain that. You can't swim at night. That's wild. Why not?

It's the ocean. And? I'm black. Uh-huh. I'm not getting in a boat with you at night. That doesn't make sense to me. I'm not doing it. That didn't add up.

But you let Sam get in a boat with me. I was very fearful of that, and I told her not to, but you coerced her into doing that. You influenced her all week. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, you did. Oh, okay.

This is another thing I forgot to mention when Sam was on. Sam shows up in Majorca and asks what drugs I have, and of course I have some, but I was running low because I was on my third week in Majorca, and I had 20 different people through my house before this group came. So this was the third group. But we were the best group. Well, okay.

You were a great group. I can't say who the best group was. But we know. We know who the best group is. Okay. Well, everyone thinks they're the best group, and that's fine with me. I would never even think about trying to be the best group. Okay.

But Sam wanted demanded drugs. She needed them. And then when I gave her what I had, it wasn't, Yaya goes, look at you. Look at you influencing my boo. You did. Because she got really fucked up one day. You are a pusher. No, I'm a supplier.

I'm a hostess. You are Frank Lucas of Mallorca. That's who you are. You are Frank Lucas of Mallorca. I was being a very good hostess, and every time Sam went a little bit off the rails, which was almost every day, Yaya would look at me. No, you were a great hostess. Thank you, Yaya. Thank you very much.

Yaya would look at me and try and lay blame on me. No, you were a great hostess. You were just a pusher, but you were a great hostess. Right. I do want people to do drugs. I do like that, you know? I just feel like so many people have untapped resources and creativity within them that once they do the right drug that they find the right thing. And it's not for everybody.

You know, drugs are not for everybody. I want to say that as a medical professional on this – why is that funny? No, no, no. I trust you. Okay. As a medical professional on this podcast, I would like to say that drugs are not for everyone, but they are for me. Okay. All drugs aren't for me.

And you don't like – oh, you know what? I love – tell us this story. What? This is a good drug story. Would you mind telling it? The one where you saw the video of yourself. Oh, wow. We're going there?

Well, we don't have to. Yeah, no, we can. We can go to a different area if you're not comfortable. No, I'm fine with that. No, I just saw myself, me and my friends used to, like, in our early 20s. This is a long time ago, so let's put this on the record. We would recreationally pop a pill or two. What was the drug called, though?

Flexeril. Flexeril was my drug of choice. Oh, I thought it was something else. Oh, that's like a muscle relaxer. Yeah, it's like Flexeril, but it was like— Oh, yeah, you can't take that and go out. No, but we were drinking, too, and I think some of this stuff was opioid-based. I think Flexeril is opioid-based.

So, like, when I saw a video, like, I thought I was just chilling and having a good time and having fun. But then my friends played a video back of me, and I was nodding off at the table. And it was just like, that's what—that wasn't— You thought you were crushing it. You were out thinking you had a blast. You were like, last night was fun. It was. And they're like, you need to see a video of yourself if you think you were having a good time.

Yeah, and it was cute. So I was just like, I want to look cute at all times. So when I did look cute, I couldn't do it no more. Well, you look really cute right now. Thank you. I have a shoot later. I want to talk about your relationship with Sam. Okay, what about it?

Okay, so you're from Atlanta. Yes, I am. Okay, you should be on The Real Housewives of something. You know what? They tried to get me on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Oh, my God. They did? Yeah, at least it was like eons ago.

And why did you fucking do that? I didn't have money like that. So I just felt like it would just be too fraudulent. Too fraudulent. Like, I owned a business, but it was just like, it wasn't lucrative like that. But you would have gotten down to business with these women. Oh, yeah, I would have. And I think that's what the world wants to see.

Because if you were on one of the Housewife franchises, I would watch that fucking show. Would you? Yeah, because I know what would go down. And I saw the video stories of Sam. Sam J is on tour right now. Yaya is on tour with her, which means she is calling people out in the audience, screaming and yelling at anybody. What was the last incident that happened where you had to remove one of the— I didn't remove her.

Security removed her. She was being a nuisance. She was being loud and belligerent and drunk. And I just asked her to be quiet. And she didn't want to listen. So she had to get out of here. And then what did she say to you? Didn't she say something to you?

Yeah, she was like, some lady, some black lady told me to be quiet. I just walked around. I was like, it was me. It was me, girl. I told you to shut the fuck up. It was me. Shut the fuck up. And she was like, I can't believe you said that.

But I had asked her twice. The first time, I was very pleasant. I was like, excuse me, ma'am. Can you bring it down a little bit? Like, she was on her phone. She was watching a basketball game. It was just wild. I fucking hate that so much.

I hate that so much. It's just rude because she was disturbing the people around her. Like, literally, when she got kicked out, she was with about 20 people. Nobody gave a fuck because they wanted her to leave, too. but they didn't know how because she was the head of HR. So they felt like their jobs were— Oh, the head of HR. Yeah, the head of HR.

Exactly. How ironic. She was the worst. So, yeah. Okay, so bring us back to your relationship with Sam because you guys have been together for a long time. Yeah. And we're going to be giving relationship advice on this show.

Okay. Potentially in this episode. So I want you to walk us through the status of your relationship over the years because it's been—you've had turbulent times. Yeah. And Sam loves when I bring up her cheating, so we can talk about that. Or we could talk about just the genesis. Well, what do you want to start with?

Well, the beginning. Start with the beginning because it's a beautiful love story. And I think it's, it gives other people, you know, I think other people probably have similar relationships where they love someone and then they're not together and then gives them hope to come back together. That's true. I think our versions are kind of different from each other. No, they're definitely different. Okay. Because the two of you couldn't be more opposite.

Yeah, I think our versions of the story is different. But we met in Atlanta. She says I met her in the club, but I don't remember meeting her because our friends knew each other. So on the way home, their car broke down in front of my house. So I saw them, and they looked hot and thirsty because they were trying to change a tire. So I just asked them if they needed help, if they wanted to sit inside before the tow truck came. That was very nice of you, Yaya. It must have been before 9 p.m. when you did that.

Actually, it was probably around 1 a.m. Oh, oh. So it must have been another flipsy doodle that happens. But, yeah, so we eventually went out on a date. Did she tell you the first time we went on a date? Mm-mm. Well, the first time we went on a date, Sam left her, she left her money, apparently. She didn't have any money, so I had to, I left my wallet, because I knew I wasn't paying.

Of course not. I mean. No, no, you're not going to pay. Hello, that's what I thought, too. Yeah. But I ended up having to fucking pay, because Sam couldn't buy me my slice of pizza. Oh. So I had to call my friend, like, hey, can you go to my house and go get my wallet and bring my wallet to me?

So he was like, aren't you on a date? And I'm like, yeah, bitch, I am on a date, but come bring me my wallet. So from that day forward, he didn't like Sam at all. He hated Sam. Nor would I. But I loved her. She was so cool. But I'm surprised that you were okay with that because that doesn't seem like something you're down with.

It's not, but she was so charismatic. She was so funny. She was so sweet. I don't know why. She just won me over. And then what happened? She fucked me. Right after the pizza?

Yeah, pretty much. So that's like, okay, anyone who's listening that would be like, oh, I had a date who didn't have any money. And then the next thing you do is go home to fuck that person. Yeah, I mean, I knew if she was broke, then she probably had some good moves. Well, I know, because I remember you guys having sex on my terrace in Mallorca. Oh, my God. We did not have sex on your terrace. We did not.

We did not. Yeah, they did. Please don't leave. We did not have sex. They were up every night till 5 a.m. We were talking. And talking. And then, yeah, and then when Yaya wants it, she needs to get it right away.

And then she goes, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. But we did not have sex on your terrace. And that's all you hear. We did not have sex on your terrace. No, they had sex in their bedroom. Yeah. You probably did have sex on the terrace. I'm sure you did.

I probably would have, but we did not. That would have been a good memory, though. But your window was, like, right there. Yeah, exactly. Can you imagine? I would have been like, hey, guys. Can you keep it down? Yeah.

Can you keep it down, please? Okay, so then you guys were together for, like, a period of time? Yeah, we were together for a minute, and then I did some shady shit. This spans, like, 17 years, right? Yeah, yeah. 17 years of relationship. Yeah, so we were young. So at the time, Sam says we were together.

I say we weren't together. We were dating other people. But she says that we were exclusive. So this is where it gets cloudy. But also, this was like 17, 16 years ago. So I say that we were freely dating other people. She says that we were committed. And I dated someone else.

And then she found out about it. And then so we stopped talking. And then I started, well, we were always friends throughout this process. So it was like she really, we really didn't stop talking. We just stopped talking in that capacity. So then she started dating other people. But what was that like? Wasn't that tinged with, like, jealousy and feelings?

Oh, absolutely. Even if you're just friends? Okay. Absolutely. Because every time she started dating someone, like, she would go out on dates and I didn't care. But then when she would start, like, repeating the dates, it was like, that's a problem. You're going out with the same person again. So then I would have to break that up.

So then it was just a lot of back and forth. It was a lot of back and forth. How did you break that up? Oh, I would just go see her. Fuck that up. She cut me off completely cold turkey because she said I was toxic. And then... She ran off and got married and blocked me from everything.

Why did she think you were toxic? I was in Atlanta. I was in black gay Mecca. So I was outside, okay? Also, I had money. So it was just like I was in a free fall. So it was fun. I was having fun.

Getting a lot of pussy. Not a lot of pussy. Well, no, not a lot of pussy. But I was outside. Yeah, you were. I bet you were. I was outside. What about guys?

Were you fooling around with guys at all? No, just women. You've been done with men for a long time. Yeah, I was done with men by the time you said that. Before you even had sex with one. Yeah, basically. One and done. Okay, so you broke up, and then what drew you back together?

She got married. Fast forward like a year or two later. After she's been married for a year or two. Yeah, we were still friends, though, but I did not pursue her. She didn't pursue me. She was really into her marriage. And so I was like, okay, if this is where you want to go, girl, that's fine. But you know where home is.

And were you devastated? I was devastated, but I always knew that we were going to be together, so I wasn't really pressed. You really believed that, even though she was married to someone else? Yes. Because a normal person, yaya, when that happens, when the other person gets married would be like, oh, I guess our relationship is over.

No, I didn't think that at all. And now that I'm watching this show, she put me onto this show. What is it called? Scandal? Now that I'm watching Scandal, I kind of understand it. Because I always knew.

It was just like, that's my person. Like, I knew she was being crazy. I knew she was being wild. And I also knew I was getting my karma back from the foot I was doing. And also, when she wanted to commit and settle down, I told her no. So I was like, okay, I get it.

But play this out. You know this is not going to work. So I'll let you do this and be dumb. And then when you're ready, come home. And that's what happened. Because she was in New York. She ended up doing New York Comedy Festival. And I was in New York at the same time doing Victoria's Secret and New York Fashion Week.

So we were in New York at the same time. So I hit her up. And I was like, hey, do you want to grab a drink so we could see each other and talk? Because we haven't spoken really since she had gotten married. And we met at the cellar, as a matter of fact. And that was like in 2015 or 2014. And we talked at the cellar. And after we talked, I was like, she coming home.

So I knew she was coming home. That's cute. That's a cute story. It's a hot mess of a story. Oh, it is. It's like, it's ghetto as hell. Yeah, there's a lot of ups and downs. There's a lot of ups and downs, yeah.

But we've made it through, and now we're engaged. Yeah. And when's the wedding going to be? Because I really would like to not miss that, okay? Oh, you're going to come to the wedding? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to come to the wedding, and you want me to come to the wedding. You seem like you're a good time.

Oh, yeah. What do you mean seem like I'm a good time? You've hung out with me. I am a good time. That is true. But, no, I'm saying, like, in those kind of settings, because somebody was telling me, I think it was a guy, he was really, really sweet. He was telling me that you were at Bruce Springsteen's concert, and you were, like, making drinks at

the after party. You became, like, the bartender. Yeah. And I was like, that sounds like a good time. I wish I was there. Oh, yeah, that was a good time. So, I would like for you to come. Okay.

Well, I will come. I will commit to that for sure. This is your formal invitation. Yeah, well, maybe I should officiate the wedding. Maybe you should. Or at least part time. That would be nice. I've already done it once.

Have you? Yeah, I did it. Well, Michael Che was supposed to, but he's so anti-weddings. I don't know if he's going to do it. Oh, really? Yeah. We'll see. If he's not available, I'll do it.

Okay, so we're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back. My SUV's worth more than ever. Time to upgrade? There's never been a better time. At Plaza Auto Group locations, get top value for your trade and shop hundreds of new and pre-owned vehicles across 11 locations. And if you can't come to us, we'll come to you. With best-in-class pricing, unbeatable trade values, and 70 years of trust, it's easy to see why families choose the Plaza Auto Group. Plaza Auto Group, celebrating 70 years family-owned and operated.

Visit plazaautogroup.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming.

They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story.

I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. And now we're back. Katherine, what do we have for Yaya today?

I can't fucking wait for this. So many things. We have a boob-related question. And Yaya, you're in good company with this boob question because— I see, because I got boobs. I'm the same way. I'm the same way, and Chelsea's got big boobs, too. Who wants to ask a titty question?

I have big boobs, but those are, like, extra— No, you have perfect boobs. Oh, thank you. I would agree with that. Thank you, Yaya. I appreciate that. New York tits. What are New York tits?

You don't remember that from Chappelle? No, what does that mean? When he would walk around with the guy and they would put a sticker on bitches' titties and be like, you got great New York boobs. You don't remember that? No, I don't. It was a segment. It was funny. But y'all are enormous, and Catherine, yours are enormous, too.

So we're prepared. Come on, titties! Yes, titties! We're prepared to field these questions. Amazing. Well, our first question now comes from Alyssa. And all of ours are natural. Yes.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. Mine are natural. Yours are not natural. Hey, I showed you them. They are natural. I do not have fake tits.

You don't? No, they're real. You have really good boobs. Like, really great boobs. I know. Thank you. That's my best feature. Wow, I did not know that.

Well, that's why I had to say it, because I didn't know if New York titties meant fake titties. No, they just meant great boobs. Oh, no. They're not fake. I don't have fake tits. Oh, you have great tits. I know. They're, like, big and perky.

I have to constantly announce this to the public. Because they're so perfect, they look fake. It is ridiculous that I have these boobs. I mean, I'm so excited about them now. I used to be really annoyed by them. Yeah, because they came on when I was 13. It was a little bit much for a 13-year-old, especially when nobody else had little titties. So I had to, like, tape them down.

And now I've, you know, now I've embraced them, obviously. And so has the rest of the world. If I had boobs like that, I would just wear a spaghetti strap all day, every day. Same. Just with your tits flying around? Yes. It just takes a lot to hold these up. Like, it's just so much work.

It fucking hurts your back is what the problem is. I don't like when I get those, like, you know, things on my shoulders carved from the bra. Yes, yes. That means, yeah, so it's always too much. If I take this bra off, it's Swing Low Sweet Chariot, and I just, no, ma'am. Well, our first question about boobs comes from Alyssa. Dear Chelsea, I'm in a dilemma about whether to pursue a breast reduction. The reasons I want one are my girls make running, something that's important for my physical and

mental health, annoying because I have to wear this nasty ass, uncomfy sports bra and spontaneous running, like chasing my nieces around, is painful. Shopping for tops and dresses is something I avoid because I'm pigeonholed into limited options that fit my boobs, but not the rest of me. I just like the attention they draw, and I envy the Itty Bitty Titty Committee for being able to walk around in skimpy tops carefree while I'm dealing with all sorts of boob tape and readjusting. Back pain. And two women in my life have gotten a breast reduction and claim it's one of the best things they've ever done. Obviously, that's a dramatic claim, but who doesn't love drama? The reasons I'm hesitant. Undergoing a technically unnecessary procedure feels

unnecessary. I've had other surgeries, so I'm not afraid, but there's always risk as well as precious PTO to consider. I've worked really hard to love my body, and this feels like a type of betrayal toward her, while women with even larger breasts thrive and manage to love their beautiful bodies without changing a thing. Just get a breast reduction. This is going on and on and on. I know, I know. But she said she feels like opposing poles to pursue something that could make a positive change or to honor her body. And do you think it's possible to do both, Alyssa? Get a breast reduction. You're going to feel better about yourself. And don't care about honoring your body. Do you know how many unnecessary procedures I get? I do a lot

of elective things that i don't need to do and i'm always happy about it same exactly i'm all for surgery i know you're talking to two people that are pro surgery yeah cut me up lay me on the table i mean i came from physical therapy and they had to drain my knee a little because there's still some swelling from my surgery and i go so how frequently can i drain my knee and they're like well you don't ever really want to put needles in your knee unless it's absolutely necessary i'm like no bitch i have no problem fucking putting needles in my knees all day long if it's going to help me ski. I don't give a shit.

She's like, and I go, what's, why? There's always a risk of infection. I'm like, bitch, I don't care about that risk. You know, that's what antibiotics are for. Exactly. If you've got an infection. And you love to take pills, so. Yeah, cut those tits.

Yeah, you think so too. Be happier. Yeah, see. Yes. It's just like, it's a nicer lifestyle when you feel better about your body. It's just nicer. Absolutely.

And she's not betraying, like, she needs to cut those tits. I'm cutting my tits. Cut those tits. Are you? You are. I'm curious what your decision making was around that. I don't want big titties anymore.

I'm sick of it. I'm over it. And I would like to wear a spaghetti strap. Okay? I would like to go brawlers. I want to walk around like Chelsea. Yeah. Well, and I know last year in Mallorca, a couple of the girls had reductions, and they

had kind of like Chelsea, like big, still, but like perky. And they're like, you know, even though they've gotten a little bit bigger since the reduction, they've stayed perky. Everybody says they come back. Yeah. Everybody that I know that has a breast reduction say they come back in some capacity. Yeah, they do. They do.

And so when you get a reduction, you have to do more than you think you should because they do grow back. So then you're like, well, then the girl's like, why the fuck do I get the reduction if they're going to grow back? Just go a little smaller than what you would want to get. I think when you make your body, like, more agreeable to, like, your whole, like, practical lifestyle, you step into your body even more. Like, you become more, like, because you're more confident and you feel more secure. And it's just a nicer way to go through life rather than having some, like, an onus on your chest. Right, and an insecurity. And also, she can run.

I just can't believe that you think that these are fake. Yes, God, yay! Come on, titties! Look at them. Yes, those look fake. Do they? Yes, girl, I've seen those titties on surgery pages. Oh, my God.

I should sell them. That's the actor. I should sell them. You should. Yeah. Those are nice. To separate people. Those are nice.

Thank you, Yaya. I appreciate that. I can't do that. It would take me too long to hoist them back up. What are you wearing now, a bra? I don't see it. Oh, it's like, I have on a bra. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, our next question is slightly more sober.

Sober? What does sober mean? Well, you know, just a little more serious than boob questions, but not too, too serious. They're very fun. So Sarah and Ethan are here. They say, Dear Chelsea. Sarah was the one who originally wrote in. So she says, Dear Chelsea, my husband is transgender. We got married before his transition. And since then, all my friends and family have been supportive and welcomed his authenticity with open arms. However, in light of the recent unfortunate political climate, I have a few people in my life, my stepsister and brother-in-law, as well as my best friend's husband, who still don't understand the repercussions of voting Republican and how that directly affects our life. My husband is very confrontational and outspoken, and there have been some heated discussions surrounding this issue, to which my family responds, can we just not talk about politics? When clearly, to us, this isn't political. It's our lives.

What do I do with these family members since they can't seem to be reasoned with and seemingly continue to vote against my spouse's right to exist? Sarah and Ethan. Hi, Sarah and Ethan. Hi, Sarah and Ethan. Hi. So excited to meet you guys. You as well. Okay, so yeah, that's so fucking annoying.

I mean, it is so frustrating when you have family members that do not understand. I just don't understand how people communicate with their family members when they disagree politically like that. Because you're right. It isn't a political issue. And it shouldn't even be a governmental issue what you do with your body. It's so fucking infuriating. But I like to cause a lot of stir. So my advice, like, you know, especially with family and when it's someone you love and someone they love ostensibly, I would just put up like I would be like, listen, we're not going to.

I mean, I'm of the thinking to just like shut them down. You're not even you're not even going to spend time with them until they, you know, come around. Would you agree with that? I would set boundaries if they can't respect you and you and your place and your marriage and who you are as a person, then they don't need to be around you. You don't need that type of negativity in your life. Like why even bring that into your fold and into your marriage? Like no. Yeah. It's really hard to set the boundary because we are a blended family and there has been some, I guess, some issues with our other sister to where we don't have a relationship

anymore. The whole family doesn't have a relationship with this sister. So it is like, Why? Oh, God, that's a whole nother. But that's fine. There were some issues with our dad and her that just didn't work out. And now they don't speak. Yeah. So this would be like the second, the second one that we.

Axed from the family dynamic. And there was the problem. But wait a second. Wait, your family and your dad and your sister don't speak. So you didn't ax your sister. They did. Right. Yeah, that's true.

The first one. Yes. Yeah. What do you mean? it didn't work out with your sister and your father. I need some details. Like, what do you mean? Yeah, that's a little weird. But also your sister, if you cut them out, your sister, you may rekindle that relationship and realize that she's the better person for you to be in your life if she respects you. Well, we have to hear about the sister first. You gotta give us, just give us like

a quick, you know, overview, an overview. Yeah, a synopsis. They always just kind of butted heads and it came to fruition one day and it almost got physical to where my dad had to threaten to call the police if she didn't back off. So from then on, they didn't speak. And we, we, the rest of the family got cut by her, by association. So we didn't cut her out. She kind of axed everyone. Okay. Okay. Okay. After this incident. And then this is the, this, so now what we're dealing with is like the second sister right and we're perfect timing then so that they can get a clue that they're the fucking problem yeah i tend i tend to go i've learned a lot that like not all conflict is is bad especially recently and that there's a lot of like self-protection that maybe could be

and should be done so this my approach has been like i don't i don't need to i don't need to talk to them. It's such a complicated relationship with in-laws. Right. And with families. And I know, but it's like a it's like a direct lack of respect for your for you and your safety. Yeah, that's it. That's the only sentence you need to know. Like they are not respecting that your safety is threatened by Republican lawmakers. And like and as long and if they don't care about your safety, then what the hell are you doing spending time with them? That's well said. I want to do everything possible to avoid losing this relationship because it is the only sibling that i have left so is there anything that you would like i know you're a huge proponent of

writing an email and a letter yeah well wait so you want to salvage the relationship with your sister not your parents the second sister so the parents aren't the problem is this a second sister oh no no my parents are parents are great yeah oh it's the other sister oh no well she wants to salvage it, Yaya, because she lost her other sister. I think, you know what? Yes, I am a big fan of an email and I think you can lay it out to your other sister. So she's the Republican, the other sister. Yes. OK, so that's problematic. Yes. And is she married to someone who's also of the same mind as she is? Of course. Of course. So they go together. One isn't, you know, Republican women are usually there because their husbands told them to be. Right. But I think that

you can write her a letter and express like, I really don't want our relationship to devolve in the same way that your relationship has devolved with your other sister, right? Because then she's going to lose two of you and lay it out in the most human, most humane way. Like we are talking about the safety and protection of the person that I am married to. And you are talking about voting for someone who is never, ever going to protect their rights, my husband's rights. So that's very, very hard pill for me to swallow. I would love for us to be able to like figure this out, but it's starting to feel like, you know, I'm going to lose another sister. And you got to meet me somewhere in the middle there. You know, I don't know you can make somebody vote for a Democrat,

you know, but like. No, but even if not, they can respect them and not mention it in their presence. And if they can't even do that, then I think that you just have to protect yourself. And I feel like you should also try to reach out to your sister to cut you off and try to rekindle that relationship. I do too. So then you won't, even if you lose out on the other sister, you still got the good one is that is that is she is she a good one the sister that got in a fight with your father or what she you guys have had it's it's questionable it's worth looking into it is worth it is worth not you know locking shut no and it's not good to lock shut anyway because you know what that is your sister everyone goes through difficult times in their lives and people get better and

people recover not everybody but a lot of people do i know i've learned and grown and changed throughout my life. I'm sure you feel the same way, Yaya. And like, you know, mistakes you make necessarily you wouldn't necessarily repeat in the future. And so it's worth just checking in with her and like just reinforcing the fact that she's your sister. You love her. You will always be sisters. And if she ever wants to reach out and she ever wants to talk, you're always there for her. There's nothing wrong with putting that out into the universe. That's good vibes and that's good energy. And if and if she comes back, great. And you might catch her when she is ready to talk to you. And maybe she's not ready to go and be around your parents, but that doesn't mean you

can't have a relationship with her. Right. That's kind of how I've always felt about that. I think I just maybe need to remind her that I'm of that stance because I think it all gets lost when there's drama. Yeah, of course. And people do things in the heat of the moment that, you know, they wouldn't do 10 years later or five years later, even six months later. Yeah, people change. Can I ask, does it bother you, their political affiliation, or does it bother you that they're vocal about it in your presence though they're not really vocal about it in our presence they actually refuse they refuse to talk about it and i think it's because logically i mean i'm a pretty good talker so they're not gonna it's not gonna go well so they're never like disrespectful to

you in your presence no no i mean they've asked silly questions like in moments but like they're learning social media i would yeah it's their social media presence and oh okay well maybe if you continue to educate them because if people don't know sometimes they're just ignorant so maybe if you continue to you know just talk to them and educate them on who you are your story your plight and the things that go on with you you don't know that you may change their perspective so you may not even have to cut her off too yeah and i don't know if you got a chance to listen to our skylar baylor episode but his book he she they i love him yes has some really really good methods for communicating with loved ones and especially like asking questions in these moments that

could get very confrontational and saying like, well, here's what I think. Here's what you think where people automatically go in this defensive mode. He's got some good tricks in there for like asking questions like, why do you think that? And so I would definitely recommend maybe if you haven't already read it, read it. No, I need it's on my list, but I need to get I need to get to it. He's a little bit more of a hostile negotiator. Yeah. And I'm a little more level headed. So this will have some tips for you, Ethan. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm assuming your sister and her husband have like heard how difficult and like arduous the process of transitioning is, right? That everything that you have been through, because I find that

when people hear that, it reduces their ability to argue. When people realize like it's not some like whimsical thing that you just do and go and like, you know, get surgery to change your, there's multiple psychological assessments that have to happen. You can't just go in and get a penis. Like it's not like, oh, I'm going to a fair and I think I want to wear a costume. I mean, that's why I find Republicans don't understand like the actual background of what has to happen. Yeah, there's a lot of false information out there. And I think we have started to share some of that information. It's just trying to get them to the point of being receptive and like sitting down and listening instead of shutting down or saying, I don't want to talk about

politics. You know, that's their that's their pretty immediate response. So it's just getting them to a place where they realize it's not political and it shouldn't be political. Yeah, it's not politics. You being a transgender is not political. They're the only party in the country in the world that is making it political. Well, not in the world. There are other countries that are also politicizing it. But you know what I mean? No, no, never crowd has a problem with that. So it's like, why would you actively be going after people who are not bothering anybody else? It's a great question. What would make you satisfied? Like they have to switch parties? yeah probably um that's how i would feel just don't even vote yeah if you if you yeah if you

can't vote for the democrat democratic candidate just don't don't vote republican i think it's i think it's like it's this feeling of someone telling you i hear you i sure i see you i'm fine with you but then their actions that they're taking outside of that moment are a direct contradiction and and and so i'm what's hurtful yeah that's what's hurtful is i i want to be like okay, you can say whatever you want, but if you are actively voting against my rights as an equal human being, I just don't believe you. Yeah. I would have a problem with that too. I'm with you, but I do think you should reach out to the other sister and then do, and I think you should email your other sister and, you know, work both of those things at the same time. Or you could just

send her this podcast. I know. I thought about that. I was like, I could just play this episode. That'd be pretty eyeopening. So yeah, that's actually a good idea too. Because I'm sure they don't know the turmoil or like the difficulty we have on our end oh so y'all never discussed y'all never spoke about it i've tried and the response is we don't talk about that it just gets shut down real fast so that's something you should mention in the letter just go imagine trying to share yourself with like this is my husband imagine trying to share like your your husband wants to share any of his personal belief systems or history or anything like that and not being willing to sit and listen to it is very obstinate. You're not compromising. That's like I'm set in my

narrow minded way. And the only vision I see is the only one that there is. And yeah, that is problematic to actually evolve and grow. Like that's the whole point of being alive is to change and evolve, you know, and learn and have your opinions challenged. Yeah, I agree. I think expressing that one of our biggest desires is just to be heard. And then actually, like you said, possibly playing her in this episode because i don't think she also knows how much it does weigh on us just this topic of the relationship so yeah yeah yeah okay well that's good let us know keep us posted and let us know how it goes i will all right you guys take care have a great day have a good afternoon thank you bye my suv is worth more than ever time to upgrade there's

never been a better time at plaza auto group locations get top value for your trade and shop hundreds of new and pre-owned vehicles across 11 locations and if you can't come to us we'll come to you with best-in-class pricing unbeatable trade values and 70 years of trust it's easy to see why families choose the plaza auto group plaza auto group celebrating 70 years family owned and operated visit plazaautogroup.com when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with

survivors who lived through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,

the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place.

Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Alex says, Dear Chelsea, I'm in an emotionally distant marriage and questioning my sexuality. I'm a 38-year-old woman married to a man for nine years together for 11. We have a five-year-old son together. Over the course of the pandemic, I was at home with our son, and my husband worked a lot of overtime. He's a first responder and felt responsibility to help. We'd both stopped focusing on our relationship since our son was born, and the pandemic served to magnify that. We've also both dealt with some depression at times. Since then, I've been bothered by our

diminished connection, both emotional and physical. He agrees there's a lack of connection, but does nothing about it. I'm going to skip forward a little bit. They've done a little bit of therapy, but she sort of still feels like she's the only one who's doing anything. We've got a lot of love for each other, but at this point, I'm wondering if I'm nearing my limit. Another layer to all of this. After years of counseling on my own, I've come to accept about myself that I'm attracted to women. At the time of writing this, my husband is not aware. It's increasingly on my mind, and I'm endlessly curious about being physical with another woman. Since I'm asking for a more emotionally open relationship with him, do I owe him that

information, especially if I feel like it's holding me back from being completely myself with him. Our sex life is virtually non-existent at this point, yet another topic we don't talk about unless I bring it up. Initially, I thought working on our connection in therapy would help me feel romantic toward him again and the attraction to women would fade, but that doesn't seem to be happening. How to proceed? Alex. Yaya, what do you think? I think she needs to bring that bitch in the bedroom. I think if she popped that pussy in the bedroom, they'd spice it up a little bit.

She wants him to thruple up. That might not be a bad idea, actually. I think that then it'll add some spice. He'll probably be more engaged. But she has to be honest with her feelings. She's like, oh, I don't want to tell him, but she has to be honest and disclose that she has an attraction to women.

And then he may be like, okay, bring that bitch in. Yeah, yeah. Or if she was going to, say, explore her feelings for a woman without her husband. That's cheating. Okay, so she can't do that. No, that's cheating. That's wrong. So do you think she should give her husband the heads up that she's having feelings for women?

Yeah, she has to be honest about that. Because, I mean, if that's where she wants to go, then he has the right to know that. Yeah. He has the right to know that, regardless if they stay together or not. You know, he has the right to, before she steps, she can't just search and be like, I think I like bitches. Let me go try this. That's cheating.

That's dishonest. Right. So she needs to be honest with her husband, especially if that's her life partner that she chose. And they have a kid together. Yeah, I would say that the first what's going to happen is you're going to tell your husband that you're feeling this way about women. He's going to say, let's bring someone into the bedroom. You're going to do that. You're going to like that.

And that will happen for a few times or, you know, maybe months or whatever. And you'll enjoy that. And then you're going to want to just be with women and not be with your husband. Yeah, then you'll be Kyle Richards. That's what fucking happens. I mean, I think it's very common for women who have been married for a long time to start thinking about being not heterosexual. You think so? I think it's trending.

A lot of women are turning towards the pussy. A lot. I mean, and with good reason. Yeah, I mean, men are pretty, you know, they can be pretty disappointing. And they're not all disappointing. I'm not saying that because there are a lot of men. I went out on a date with a guy last night. that was adorable and sweet and just you know nice and totally fuckable and he was a nice guy

but I'm I wouldn't want to spend that amount of time with anybody and I think when you're with a straight guy like you know the sheen wears off pretty quickly unless you're communicating and you know and men seem to like I don't know there seems to be this thing with women when they're married to a man for over 10 years especially when they have kids like then you're fucked mostly you know not everybody i mean there are happy marriages with children but a lot of people a lot of the happiest marriages are people who don't have children together or they're on their second marriage and they've had children with someone else and then and they can have that but i think that there's a like men stop emotionally growing or maybe they get stunted or

they're stunted to begin with and and maybe maybe women don't catch it in the beginning because they're so in love and then 10 years go by and you're like well wait this isn't fulfilling enough because I'm emotionally attuned and in tune with myself. So, yeah, I think it's very common. But I think the writing's on the wall of what's about to happen here. So I would say, yeah, go get some pussy, girl, and bring it to the bedroom. Yeah. But if you want to be emotionally attached to a woman,

she needs to know it ain't that much better over here. Really? No. Come on. No, I love Sam. I'm in love with her. But also, because the first woman she's going to be with, she's going to be in love with them.

And she's going to get her heart broken. She's going to feel like that. Like, she just needs to prepare herself. Like, everybody thinks the grass is always greener on the other side. That's all I'm saying. It's just not always true. Well, but you're not, are you not emotionally attached? You're emotionally attached to Sam.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying, like, if she's been with this man for 10 years and she's like, oh, he's not giving me what I want. She's going to be with a bitch the first couple, she's going to have to eat a few pussies before she finds one that fits. So she's, they're not going to be emotionally attached to her either. So she's made things that it's just going to be so great and they're going to be emotionally attached. and they're just going to instantly connect and it's not like that. She has to find her person.

It's not necessarily wrapped up in... Whether it's a man or a woman. Yeah, I agree with that. I would agree with that. Like, yeah, maybe it is a man or a woman because you're just not fulfilled in the relationship you're in. But either way, we think you should get some pussy.

Yeah. Tell your man and then bring her home. This episode's going to be called Pussy Pounding. I will say, she didn't want to call in, but I spoke to her and she's very sweet and has big softball energy. Oh, really? I think, listen, I have a lot of friends that I think are gay that are in heterosexual relationships.

Oh, really? Yeah. Not a lot, but enough. Point them out. Point them out. I will. I will. Yeah.

I will, but not on the podcast because I'm sure they all are listening. No, not at all. My peters to them. So you think if she brings a woman in, they would be a feminine woman? You know, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I just know, like, my gaydar for sure went off when I got on the phone with her, you know? Oh, okay.

She may bring you in, girl. Wait a minute now. I don't know. There's a whole location thing to deal with. Catherine and Brad is exactly what the doctor ordered. That's true. My husband is also the engineer on this podcast, but. Sorry.

No, it's okay. He knows I'm queer. It's fine. But yeah, so I think, Alex, write in when you've had a conversation with your husband and like let us know how it goes or maybe a little further on down the line when, you know, you have a girlfriend, et cetera. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, make some changes, though. You got to, like, actively pursue what you're looking for to see if that's what you really want. And I bet your husband will be open to it. Is that what you would do? I would probably just, I don't know. I don't know. I wouldn't be in this position because I probably wouldn't get married to anyone. Fair enough.

You know? So I wouldn't. But I wouldn't. I don't. Do you think you would wait 10 years? She said they wouldn't get 11, right? Yes, yeah. Married for nine.

Keep in mind you have a kid. Do you think you would wait 11 years to stay in this unfulfilled marriage? No, I wouldn't. Even if you had the kid? No. No, not as me, as me. Well, no, as Alex. Well, I don't know what Alex is.

Like, I mean, I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think there's any reason to be unhappy. That's true. There's too much going on in the world that makes people unhappy. There's too many upsetting things. You have to take responsibility for your personal life and make sure that you are serving yourself up with the things that make you happy. And you have to make an intention to actively be happy in the world we're living in.

And that is not adding to your happiness. So I think you need to make a change. Yeah, I agree with Chelsea. The Jonas Brothers are running it back. We live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brother hits that have defined a generation. One incredible celebration. One unforgettable night. See the Jonas Brothers live at RBC Amphitheater, September 28th.

Get tickets now at Ticketmaster.ca. Jonas Brothers, the burnin' up tour all over again. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.

I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for thought daughters pop culture obsessives and anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse i'm eli rallo and every week

we're connecting the dots between books the internet and the conversations everyone can't stop having i'm gonna have to look up this story i'm obsessed i'm obsessed from best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments nothing is off the table it's Like, if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. All right.

Well, we have our last caller. and she just popped in. Great. How do you think you're doing so far, Yaya? I don't really know. Okay, I would give you an A. You would give me an A, thank you. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, your listening could be a little sharper, but I think the advice is good. Missed a couple things there, but that's okay. Oh, that's sorry. It's your first time. It's okay. It's your first time on this podcast. Oh, by the way, this is my first wake-up.

Okay, Yaya wakes up twice every morning. Tell them your schedule when you wake up. My first wake-up is between 9 and 11, and my second wake-up is between 1 and 2. So I came on my first wake-up. Actually, I came prior to my first wake-up, so that's why I'm not as sharp. Also, I'm drinking water. I don't even have coffee. Okay, so when you wake up the first time, then what happens?

You go back to bed? Yeah, I go back to sleep. So you wake up for what? How long? I wake up. It depends. I wake up. I do my morning stuff.

I wake up. I piss. get Sam some water, check on her, and then I lay back down and go to bed. Or I'll scroll through my phone for a little bit. Okay, so you're not really going out or doing anything your first week out? No. I'm still on the first floor.

I'm still on the third floor. I'm not leaving the third floor. Okay, so then you go back to sleep and you wake up the second time. And that's when my day starts. That's when my day starts. I've never met anybody who wakes up twice. You know what I sometimes do if I'm hungover or if I've had a big night, I like to wake up, heat up something that's yummy

or get an Egg McMuffin from McDonald's, like something like that ideally, although I'm not going to leave the house, take a half of Xanax and go back to sleep on a full stomach. That's the happiest. Does Xanax make you wake up? No, the Xanax is the sleekest. For me, it's like a sleeping pill. Okay.

It's not an upper. Oh, it's not? I've never had it. I don't know. No, it's for anxiety. But if you don't have anxiety, it's a sleeping pill. Oh, it brings you down. Okay, cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You probably shouldn't take it or you'd be like falling asleep at the club. Yeah, we don't want to promote Xanax or any sort of benzodiazepines on these shows. They're addictive and are known to cause, you know, whatever, dementia. But I'm doing enough things to combat the dementia from the Xanax I'm taking. I'm doing enough things to offset that. That's smart. So whatever you deplete your body from, you got to add it back in in other ways.

I know you do. I know you know the right formula. I told you, you're a pusher. I know you know the right formula. Well, Nicole says, I recently embarked on a nearly four-month cross-country road trip earlier this year to explore some new places to live. I own a remote business, so I was able to work while traveling. Not only did I discover two wonderful options for relocating, but I also met my current partner while traveling and am now in a committed long-distance relationship with him. Oh, look at you.

It's going really well, but long distance is hard. I did end up moving a few weeks ago to a city that's a five-hour flight from him. My question for you is, how do I know I made the right choice? The city I moved to has a remote worker incentive program with professional mentorship, programs for entrepreneurs, and a nice chunk of change they pay me to live here, but it's in a red state and doesn't tick some of my boxes. And the other city has all the amenities and culture I want, not to mention it's driving distance from my new partner, but it's really expensive and I know I'd struggle to afford living there. Do I choose to focus on my career and set myself up for future success, or do I choose to be close to my partner in a city that has everything I'm looking for but has a hefty price tag?

Nicole. Oh, hi, Nicole. How are you? Hi. Hi. Why can't your husband come to you? I mean, sorry, your soon-to-be husband, your boyfriend. Why can't he come to you?

Well, we've been dating for six months, and we have talked about it. he has offered he's a journalist so he can pretty much work from any newspaper it's just a matter of actually making the move so right now it's a five-hour drive to visit him no he lives um in oregon and i live in oklahoma oh so that's a long distance relationship you just recently moved to oklahoma right yeah okay so if you just moved then he needs to make the next move Yayo's very tit for tat it's a scoreboard with her it's like bitch you did this and now I do this

she's already moved to be closer a little closer so why can't they compromise and he move closer to her listen it's not fun Oklahoma City but I would say the good thing about living in a red state is that you can have the ability to I don't know I always feel like you can change people's minds when you're living in that

kind of culture and it's an opportunity for you to demonstrate your goodwill and your political beliefs and your value system. And it's kind of like a nice way to infect all those other red people. You know what I mean? With kindness and inject them with kindness and fairness and your beliefs on equality and all of that. I know how tough it must be to probably be with like lacking that kind of culture. But I would say, you know, you just made this move, like give yourself an amount of time. And if you're still dissatisfied in like, say it's six months or it's

a year, then you can reassess and figure out if I would say your career is more important than your relationship at this point. I would say that to anyone at any point in their lives. And then, you know, if you guys are still together in six months and you're still hot and heavy or in a year, whatever your timeframe, then you can reassess and say, maybe, okay, maybe now I'm going to move closer to him or he moves closer to you, but he shouldn't have to move to Oklahoma fucking city. Yeah. Yeah. That's like, that's like not fair. I'm just saying, I was trying to give it balance. She just moved. Do you feel comfortable giving yourself six months or a year? Yeah.

I mean, I moved in September and I told myself I'd give myself until March to like evaluate. So far, like it's just started to benefit my career to be here. Like I moved to Tulsa because they have a remote worker incentive program. Oh, Tulsa is cool. Yeah, it is cool. I like it so far. Yeah, they have culture there. Yeah, I'm into it.

It's different than New Jersey, like you were saying. Yeah, yeah. It's different than New Jersey. And it's good to get a taste of that. So yeah, so you're going to give yourself until March? yeah. And then, you know, reevaluate. I know that he's not so satisfied with where he lives. So, well, maybe you guys can find a new city together if you guys are still together in six months. Maybe you guys can like figure out like, let's start a life together. Let's pick a city

where that's going to suit both of your needs. And that's an adventure, too. I would just look at Oklahoma City as not your permanent place of living. I would just say, sorry, Tulsa, I think you should enjoy your time there. Soak it up. Meet as many people as you can. Try to change as many minds as you can. And just think of it as a temporary part of your life. How old are you? 30. Oh, yeah. Of course. You could spend three years there and it wouldn't make a dent in your life. yeah i know i i really don't feel too much time pressure this is the best relationship i've been in so it's definitely i have i feel confident that it can go the distance but it's just you seem really in love you seem really happy i know thank you you had a blush

that's so cute i was just doing some reflecting yesterday about the year and i was like Oh, that's so sweet. On a road trip, no less. How did you guys meet up on a road trip? Well, I was using the dating apps just to like meet people because I was looking for a new city to live in. So I wanted to like get the local perspective. And then he I actually had a really bad experience in the town he was in. But I was like trying to see if I wanted to live there, but like got criminal minds like somebody was like following me on the highway. It was really creepy. I was going to leave the next day. And then he messaged me and I was like, well, let me just go for coffee. And then I ended up staying. Oh, wow. How often do you guys get to see each

other? Average, like every six to eight weeks. I'm actually going to go see him on Thursday. His mom invited me. So I'm going to meet the whole family. Oh, good. Oh, good. Well, just enjoy your time right now. Enjoy Oklahoma. Enjoy Tulsa and enjoy your long distance relationship. And then in March, you can reevaluate. And if it needs a couple more months, then that's fine, too. Just look at this as a temporary situation to get yourself more financially situated. Thank you for the advice. I just have a hard time day-to-day, I think, accepting. Do you have any advice for just how to really radically accept that I have made this choice and I'm not just waiting for the end? Yes. First of all, you need to be active in your

community in some way. You have to join some clubs, whatever you're interested in. What are you interested in like sports or chess or like a book club or anything like what are you what do you like to do in your free time I would love to join a book club I've been asking everybody for like a crafting circle yeah well those things you can easily find on Facebook and online just you know I mean just google the stuff in your area and start hanging out with people and being an active participant and you should just write down a mantra for yourself like I'm going to be an active participant in my life I'm going to be an active participant in my community so that you're just like enjoying yourself. The worst thing about not being present in the present

moment and thinking about the future is that you are, you're like on borrowed time. You have to make the most of everything. You don't know what's going to be out there or what kind of friendships you're going to make, you know, with people. So like you really have to just kind of, I know what you're saying and I've been there, but you do have to make a shift and you should start meditating on it. Like, you know, find a meditation that helps you really focus on the moment that you we're in instead of looking to the future. It's okay to plan things. Just be like, I'm here for six months. I'm going to make the most out of this. I'm going to see everything Tulsa has to offer. And I'm going to make great friends that I'm going to have for the rest of my life.

And eventually those things become true. And then they are real. It's manifestation. Wow. You should write a book. Don't you believe in manifestation? I know you do, right? Yeah, I do. It's true. Like you have to, you, and once your head is in the game, then you are in the game. Yeah. I'm going to take that advice. Yeah, absolutely. Right, Yaya?

For real. That was really good. Thanks, Yaya. Thanks. Do you feel what I'm saying? Do you feel, I think you should write those two sentences down and put them on a mirror in your bathroom so you read that every morning. And that's how you start every single day.

And then who knows, you know what? You might even fucking fall in love with Tulsa. You might even be like, I'm never going to leave here. This is, I came here. I didn't want to stay here for more than six months. And then you're there for 20 years. Yeah, that's very possible. People have done it.

So open your mind. Don't keep it so narrow. open it broaden it and expand it yeah and i think also like once a week i think you should try to do something new in the city just to be like i only have six months here so like i'm gonna you know every single week i'm gonna do something new and even if you and find a book club or start a book club you can start one you know and to start it on facebook or on instagram or any of these things you can find people in your area so easily on all of these apps it's easy to connect with strangers if you haven't made any real friends yet

and start cultivating relationships and definitely do things outside of your comfort zone. You know, join a club like a running club or a walking club or a hiking club or whatever the fuck, biking, you know, and make sure you're doing different things so that you're stretching yourself and that you're not just stagnant.

Yeah. And tell your boyfriend to move to you. I'm going to tell him. I'm going to tell him. Chelsea Handler and everybody said you need to come to Oklahoma. Okay, well, good luck in Tulsa and enjoy those museums

I love I was just there a few well not just but I loved it I had a great time at Tulsa yeah

thank you I appreciate that okay awesome see you later keep us posted good luck bye

that was really good fucking advice you know what Yaya I'm glad you're finally showing me some respect do you know what

Yaya calls me do you know what Yaya calls me in public yeah I'm gonna tell everybody you have apologized and that was very sweet

and unnecessary and I meant it I know you did I know I could tell that you meant it but she was calling me Massa on our fucking trip and yelling at me Massa Massa Massa this okay Massa okay bitch all right Massa you want us to be ready to go to the beach at noon okay Massa and I'm like bitch that's not

fucking funny you cannot call me Massa and then we're out in a restaurant in New York City a few months later and she fucking does it again and then I were with another black friend my friend Jabria and she's like bitch she cannot be calling you Massa and I'm like no fucking kidding well Well, sometimes. I mean, you do crack a whip, Chelsea. Okay, anyway, anyway. Thank you, Yaya, for being here. I love you.

What a delight. You gave such great advice. Oh, I'm sure everyone's going to have loved listening to you too, Yaya. Oh, thanks. Yeah, you really perked up our studio this morning. I do what I can. Yep, you do what you can. Not as good as your tits, though.

Oh, and also, if you want to really laugh and watch Yaya harass people online, please follow her on Instagram at vanity.vixen. Is that what it is? Yes. Vanity.vixen. And check out Sam's new special on HBO. Oh, yeah. What's it called again?

The first one is called Three in the Morning. That's on Netflix. And the one that just dropped is called Salute Me or Shoot Me. Salute Me or Shoot Me. Yes. Thank you, Yaya. No, thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.

This was cool. See you next week, everybody. Okay, so show dates coming up. Canadian show dates. These are for Canadians. Guys, I'm coming January 19th, Edmonton. January 20th, Saskatoon. February 9th, I'll be in Winnipeg.

Victoria, BC is March 8th. Then I will be in Salt Lake City April 4th and Denver April 5th. I'm coming to Arizona at Maricopa April 12th. April 13th, I'll be in Brooks, California at the Cache Creek Casino. And then I'm going to be in Santa Rosa Sunday, April 14th. I'm coming to Richmond, Virginia. Baltimore, Maryland on April 20th. Gary, Indiana.

Prior Lake, Minnesota. Coming to Oklahoma, Norman, Oklahoma. on May 3rd and May 4th, I will be in Thackerville, Oklahoma for my rescheduled Windstar World Casino date. And I want to make sure that I give a shout out

to our show for Netflix is a Joke Festival. I put together a show with some of my favorite comics. It's May 11th at the YouTube Theater downtown, which I've never performed in, so that's going to be fun.

It's pretty big. I have Mateo Lane. I have Fortune Feimster performing. I have Sam Jay is on the show and Vanessa Gonzalez. So we, it is called A Jew, Two Mexicans, Mexicans. No, a Jew, two gays, and a Mexican. No, a Jew, three gays, and a Mexican. So it's

political correctness at its finest. And then I will be in Verona, New York on May 26th. And then I'm coming to Australia in July. And New Zealand, July 5th, Auckland. And I'm coming to Wellington, New Zealand, Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney. And then Thursday, August 1st, which is a long way away and a date I am just seeing that I am not ready to announce. Okay. So those are all my dates that are up and available. So get your tickets. I can't wait to see you. Yeah, that's it. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. And be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com.

i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.

Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space.

You're hired to fill the space with you. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.