Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Fueled by Anger with Billy Eichner

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

Billy Eichner is in the studio today to talk about the benefits and pitfalls of using anger to fuel your creativity, the loss of his parents as a young man, and exactly which 1980s baseball players made him realize he was gay.    Then: A 50-something finds that he’s no longer as interested in bar-hopping as his husband.  A mom’s concern grows when she discovers her grade-schooler has gone full Mean Girl.  And a Texan with a mullet wonders if it’s okay to fly solo. * Note: This episode was recorded prior to the SAG-AFTRA strike.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff.

They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hello, everybody. Hello. Hello. Hi, Chelsea. Hi. Hi. How are you? Oh, you know, all over the shop. I'm all over the shop. Indeed. Chelsea, can I ask you for a piece of advice or really a general question? For the hoi polloi?

For the hoi polloi, for our dear listeners. What's the ideal length for a dinner with friends? well if it's an obligatory dinner okay i would say 90 minutes okay i like to make a dinner two hours when you're with friends and it's not obligatory and you're catching up i would say two hours two and a half hours okay and if it goes anything longer than that you're having a fucking blast that is true lunch is better if it's obligatory because that can be an hour and And no one expects for that to go two and a half hours because people got shit to do. No, no, no, no. Unless you're in Europe and everyone's shit-faced, which is my kind of love, shit.

So if you're ready for people to leave, let's say you had a dinner at your house. I don't do that. I don't do that anymore for that reason. But I actually haven't had a house in a long time. I mean, I've been in that rental house. I was in that rental house for two years. So I wasn't really into entertaining there. I have had people over for dinner, like for certain, you know, but very casually, not like dinner parties.

When I had my old house, I would have dinner parties a lot. So I hope that when I move into my new house, I will continue to do the same thing. I'm sure I will. Right. Because then I'll have my own thing. You'll have your own place to bring people in. I don't like showing off a rental house. You know what I mean?

Right, right. Not that I have people over to show off my house, but it feels more like it's representative of who you are. Totally. Yeah. So my rental house feels like I'm in an apartment that I don't know about, that I don't know my way around. Yeah. And I know that when we were in Mallorca with you, when you were ready for the party to be over or you were done with the dinner, you would just go to bed, which is my favorite thing. That's my move.

I just go to sleep. And I don't mind if people hang out without me, you know, like at my house. Oh, see, that's great. Yeah. So when I'm done, I mean, I do go to bed early, you know. I typically like even in Mallorca, like early is like 11 o'clock or 10 o'clock. Right, right, right. But, yeah, I don't stay up late.

That's just not my thing. We've had a couple of times recently where we've had people over and I'm like, OK, there's like the few stragglers. And I'm like, what is the thing that you say to be like, it's time to leave? You just have to say, I'm wrapping it up. You guys are welcome to stay, but I've got to get into bed. Oh, I love that. I love that. And then they can decide if they want to hang out while you're in bed in your own house.

Yeah. You know, which to me, actually, I love having people around, but it's like I'm not I can't be beholden to the situation for too long. Yeah. Yeah. I know what you mean. you kind of got to get rid of people sometimes yeah well we have a very exciting guest today oh yeah very very funny little birdie in a tree his name you might recognize him from how many things would you recognize he's an actor a writer producer billy eichner well i'm happy to see you

thank you did we ever meet we've met not in person i don't think that can't be possible i know but i don't think we did ever maybe no wait i think we maybe did at march for our lives in dc okay were you there sounds about right yeah i think i met you very briefly well charlie's was there yes yes yeah a group of us when we were like in a big group uh-huh paul rudd was there that's when marches first started happening again now we're desensitized now we're like oh another march I know. This world is so sick that we're living in, isn't it? I'm like the more depressing it becomes, the more optimistic I become because I have to I can't go down that road again from like when I talk about that. I mean, when Trump was president, but all the dissension, the divisiveness, the hate, the meanness, the discrimination, like I can't even look at it for too long. And I've understood now how important it is to remain optimistic and invoke hope in other people, even if it's faking it.

I want other people to feel better after they see me. Yeah, no, you're right. I mean, God, who knew it marched for our lives, like how much worse it would get. And how much marching we were going to have to do. About everything? Yeah. Nothing is really a wake-up call. That's the problem.

Because everything is so ephemeral. And I think that is a direct result of, well, I would say the Kardashians, but I would say more social media, right? I was just going to say, it's social media. Nothing seems important because no one cares about anything because there's such an influx of information that what are you supposed to care about? 100%. On a happier and lighter note, Billy Eichner, I want to talk to you. First of all, congratulations on the first major gay movie production. Thank you.

I wanted to specifically talk to you about a scene in the movie where you talk about confidence. Because Catherine agreed that that was a very poignant part of the movie. Thank you. And I want to talk to you about confidence because the conversation talks about whether you're faking it or whether you have it. And I find those two things to blend together pretty quickly, right? Yeah. Yeah. You know, it is essentially fake it till you make it. And anyone in show business understands that, I think. I mean, you have to in order to keep going. But I'm talking about how confidence is a choice like any other. And it really is. You have to wake up and decide to be confident. It's not like you're born with it. You know, it's not a trait that you're born with. you guys. It's much more serious than that. But I do think it's an interesting topic because

there's arrogance, right? Which is different than confidence. Arrogance. I've been very guilty of arrogance in my life. And I've also had a lot of confidence too. And some people say, oh, you know, those two things can get muddy as well. And I think from an early age, you kind of decide what kind of person you are naturally and as you get older you're kind of always if you're looking within you're trying to chip away or add and make that person the potential of who you can be right the best potential of who you can be yeah so tell me about your kind of experience with that do you go to therapy do you have a therapist i do although only i started therapy about a year and a half ago for the first time ever in my life. And I, I, and I,

I was always very pro therapy. I lost both of my parents, but just even then never felt the need to go to therapy until about a year and a half ago. And I'm glad that I did. It's great. How did you decide that you needed to go to therapy? What was happening in your life that you decided if you want to know the truth it was we had just wrapped shooting it was challenging it was really hard and sometimes it would really stress me out and my anxiety about it was i think looking back irrational sometimes but i just put so much pressure on myself and i wanted it to be so many things and that movie had very specific challenges you know like stay honest for the gay people and for yourself but make it clear for straight people and you know not alienating and

i lost sleep at night worrying about studio notes and things like that so i got through the writing process we shot the movie shooting the movie was wonderful and the cast was incredible and the whole cast the whole cast was openly lgbtq which never happens and so the set felt felt very special we got to shoot it in New York. That was magical. But when we wrapped the movie, I was really worried about the post-production process and about editing the movie because I thought, OK, well, I was a co-writer, so I had some control over the script and I'm acting in the movie. I'm starring in the movie and I've been on many sets and I've acted in many things. So the shooting of the movie i felt good about but the editing process i thought i don't have power here technically

i'm not the director i'm not an editor i'm an ep but ep is kind of a bullshit thing and i thought oh god i'm gonna lose control of the movie over the quality of the movie which actually didn't happen at all and so many things that i it was interesting so many things that i worried about ended up being things I did not need to worry about and things I never really thought about ended up being things maybe I should have thought about more. But I got a therapist

because I was so worried about the post-production, which is really where the movie comes together. The movie can live and die in the editing room. And I was so stressed about that that I thought I am going to get a therapist at the beginning of this process to help me navigate all of this because there were times where I would get into my car after a meeting or something and I would

like get into a fetal position. I was like so stressed. And that's why I got a therapist, honestly, was to guide me through that process. And I'm really glad I did. And within your therapy, did the death of your parents, obviously that's something, a topic that you have to discuss in therapy, right? How old were you? Can I ask you how old Sure. I was young when my mom died. I was 20 years old when my mom died. I was in college and it happened out of nowhere. She had a heart attack and died, which is, you know, people have parents die at a younger age. It's very different to have a parent die when you're five than to have a parent die when you're 20. I had my mom through my formative childhood years and teenage years, and she was fantastic. But 20 is still young. And then my dad, my dad was older than my mom, had me late later in life.

So he died about 11, 12 years ago. He was 80. You know, he wasn't young, but also was somewhat unexpected. He was pretty healthy for an 80-year-old and all of a sudden was diagnosed with leukemia. The doctor said he has two to nine months to live and less than three months later he was gone. So, but, you know, strangely enough, I haven't really talked about that in therapy much. Really? Yeah, he's, my therapist isn't very, he isn't like one of these, like, let's deal with your childhood types of guys.

It's more practical, like the day-to-day, you know? for better or worse. I don't know. Yeah, no, I think, I think all of that stuff, you know, I think, well, when it happens when you're 20, I think you're still a baby, you know, that trauma when someone's snatched away from you in your life, it is definitely traumatic, but yeah, there are all sorts of different types of therapies from what I gleaned from therapy, which was a lot. If you don't deal with your trauma, it will deal with you at a certain point. And it'd deal with you in situations like you're talking about, like where we get in our heads and we're totally stressed out because our trauma does work for us for a while because that's your

motivation. Like you almost have more gas because you've been so hurt or you've felt such loss that you're even more motivated. Anger can be such a motivating factor, both creatively for me. I mean, I've really leaned into anger as a comedic tool, obviously. I did in my early live stage shows in New York. So that persona, I realized kind of early on, not as an actor per se, but as a comedian, once I had to generate my own material, people really loved it. The angrier I got, the more the audience loved it. And I thought, oh, that's interesting because it's really not how I am in real life. I know people always kind of don't believe that. But if you know me, the whole angry It's very divorced from who I am in real life. And yet I can really turn it on. I'm good at it from a performance standpoint. And people really liked when I did it. And then behind the scenes, anger, the rejection and all of that, you know, the, oh, I'm openly gay. I was always openly gay at a time in comedy, you know, 20 plus years ago when there weren't many of us.

TIG. It was only TIG. I mean, literally, there were a few, you know, Guy Branum was around, but I didn't know him. I knew Guy. I knew Guy. He worked with me. Yeah, of course. And so, but at the time I was looking around, you know, and I was, I just didn't have many gay peers in comedy. Now there are so many, I'm so like envious of these younger kids in comedy because so many of them are gay, queer, non-binary, and they have each other to lean on and to work with I didn't I didn't really have that and yet that became a motivating force like I remember I had a manager in New York a straight woman actually who told me that she was going to invite a bunch of agents to see me and asked me if I could make the show less gay that month right just flat out

asked me that this was at a time this is 2006 so you could still ask that question I guess and not fear you know that someone was going to tweet about it and destroy your career and she was asking me that because she wanted the best for me and she thought that was in my best interest and I I did this show that month the agents came and they signed me and it was you know it worked out and she said to me you know I have to ask the agents loved it but I think you made the show gayer this month than it's ever been why did you do that when I asked you to do the opposite and I was like I don't know I mean I didn't sit down and say I am going to rebel against what you told me but i think subconsciously maybe i did totally i always had that in me it was like i was that gay

kid who like i loved madonna growing up and like she was so rebellious and like i had that in me and i also think because my parents were so supportive as a kid they were so supportive and overprotective it was i had a lot of unconditional love as a kid even as a gay kid And I was really lucky. At what age did you know that you were gay? I mean, I don't remember the exact moment I thought, oh, I'm gay. Did your parents tell you you were gay? Basically, they knew.

I was like, you know, when you took me to the, you know, Barbra Streisand concert, I think that you knew. And you stayed when it was over. Exactly. The first guy I remember having a crush on was, this is funny, Keith Hernandez of the 1986 Mets. Oh my God, that was the year of the World Series. Yes, and they won. And I grew up in Queens where the Mets played. I was in love with Gary Carter.

I was obsessed with Gary Carter. It was an amazing team. Lenny Dykstra and all the Mookie Wilson. All the guys who became cokeheads. Exactly. Daryl Strawberry, Mookie Wilson. That's right. Yes.

They became awful people. I remember seeing this. It was before Cribs, but whenever they showcased someone's house, and they were showcasing Daryl Strawberry's apartment in New York City, and he had white leather sofas everywhere. And the whole house was decorated in a way, and even at that age, I was like, this guy is doing cocaine. like I could tell by his furniture that he was fucking doing cocaine oh absolutely and so and I remember a few years ago so my first crush was Keith Hernandez this was 1986 I was eight years

old and I remember and I at the time I wouldn't have said like oh I have a crush on him but I remember just being very drawn to him like there was an attraction and I got so bummed because then a few years ago I saw a photo of him and his wife walking into Mar-a-Lago of course you know it was such a bummer but yeah him and john bon jovi i really loved john bon jovi as a kid yeah well that's hard not to do yeah he was he was great looking and um and so yeah and so yeah i was always like a little rebellious and i think you i needed that that anger was a motivating it's a driving factor for sure because i never knew what people said when like it works until it will work for you until it doesn't i never understood that phrase until i experienced it

myself because my anger, my personality was a huge driving force, gave me a lot of success. And then all of a sudden it was a big dark shadow on me. You know, all of a sudden I felt like, wait, I have it. And it was because I had unrealized, you know, grief, trauma. My brother died when I was a little girl. So it was all that stuff. And it's amazing how far it can take you. It's just really is like lightning in a bottle. When somebody's angry and wants to get away from their feelings, they will become successful. It's true, but you have to be careful because Because it can end up defining you, too, in a way that you're not comfortable with. Well, that's, yeah.

And especially if you don't make the pivot or you don't look in, you know, because it isn't the most pleasant work all the time. Anyway, we're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying

Shut up. Don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. There's stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters,

pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island to deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed, I'm obsessed.

From best-selling authors and your favorite BookTok creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle, I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be

a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Perfect. Okay, so we give advice to real-life callers on this podcast. So we have people call it, hopefully curated towards Billy and his gayness. Oh, boy. Our first question comes from Trev. Trev says, Dear Chelsea, first time, long time.

I'm a gay man in my early 50s, and I'm married to a man who is five years my junior. The age difference doesn't really come into play often, but I'm dealing with one area of our lives that I'm starting to grow out of, and he isn't, and that is alcohol. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a teetotaler. I have had plenty of wild years in my life. You name it. I drank it, snorted it, put it on my tongue, fucked it, and lived to tell the tale. I don't judge, and I believe the body and mind are fun toys,

and you should experience all the things they can do while you're alive. But as I'm getting older, I find myself moving away from wanting all of that, partially because I don't have the energy or patience to deal with hangovers anymore, and partially because, let's face it, a sloppy drunk 50-something man ain't cute. Amen, sister! Amen! meanwhile my spouse still loves to get trashed with buddies on the weekends i used to go along with it and try to enjoy the raiders with him but over the past year or two i realized i honestly don't enjoy getting drunk i don't feel the need to chase that buzz anymore my husband isn't at

that point yet getting drunk is still kind of a hobby for him it's how he socializes with people i don't think he has any kind of serious problem and he's responsible about it generally he's only a weekend day drinker, and his drinking has never compromised his job or our household. But when he throws down, he really throws down. He knows I'm trying to bow out of the heavy drinking lifestyle, but he does provide a little pressure with like, you haven't gone to the bar with me in a long time and our friends are starting to ask about you. I certainly don't want to give up drinking altogether. I will always like a glass of wine or a good craft cocktail, but I feel like my mind and body are both aging out of wanting to drink just to get drunk. I'm

Really excited about the thought of hanging out with friends without having to get shit-faced. Ugh, after writing all this, I need a stiff drink of kombucha. Thanks, Trev. I was going to say, is he still on Adderall? Because that's a very long letter. And this is the trimmed-down version. Yes, this is the trimmed version. I think we got it.

Yeah, you don't want to drink as much as your boyfriend. We get it. Some of these are very long-winded lately. Indeed, indeed. I'll go first. I think that if you're not into drinking, that's great. And if your partner is responsible and doing all the right things but just gets shit-faced and sloppy once a week, then I think you can tolerate that and let him do his thing. He's going to outgrow alcohol, too, probably. It happens with age. You're not as interested in getting shit-faced when you're older. I mean, most of the time, I think, with most people. I'm trying to think of some old shit-faced drunks that I know. But I'm like, wait, I do actually know a couple old drunks. Of course I do. But yeah, I would say let him do his thing. Nobody wants to be policed or told what to do within a relationship. And if you don't want to go to the bar with him, you could just totally be honest with him and say, like, I'm not into that right now. And don't frame it as forever. Frame it as right now. Like, I'm just not interested in that right now. I'm not interested in getting sloppy drunk.

And, you know, who knows? Maybe he'll be like, oh, you know, once it's out there and, you know, without judgment on him, you do your thing. Let him do his thing. And as long as it's not interrupting your lifestyle, then there's really nothing for you to do except tolerate it and go do something else on a Saturday night. Whatever you want to do. Yeah, I agree. I think I think not framing it as forever is really good advice. It can be tough in the gay world. I know it's obviously alcoholism exists everywhere. But there's a lot of like social anxiety when gay men get together. You know, it's very sexually charged, even if you're in a long term couple, you know, because that can be its own pressure. And you see a lot of drug and alcohol abuse in the gay world. You do. I have a lot of sober friends and they're sober because for a long time they were very much not sober.

Is that how it works? Have you ever heard of that? Well, you know, gay guys party hard sometimes. Not all. I don't want to make generalizations. So and I would imagine that, yeah, there can be pressure to sort of keep doing that, especially if, you know, your other half is still doing it. But I think as long as you communicate the fact that you have no problem with him having a good time and that you just are kind of, you know, shifting your behavior a little bit, it shouldn't be an issue. Yeah, I think that's a simple one. I think we've I think we we're not going to talk as long as it took him to write that letter. do you think you should still like go out have a couple of mocktails and then be like see you guys have fun getting shit faced like i'm gonna go see a movie or is it sort of like stay home in your

jammies yeah yeah totally like that's nice that's a great suggestion but go before everybody gets sloppy the sloppy part like i couldn't agree with you more nobody wants to be around a sloppy drunk so i mean that might be a motivation for his partner to like not get so sloppy you know knowing how he feels or knowing that he's not going to be part of the equation it becomes a little bit lonely. Yeah. Well, our first caller today is Amber. Amber says, Dear Chelsea, I'm writing to you as a longstanding good girl with codependent tendencies who's working hard to overcome my people-pleasing ways, all while raising a little badass eight-year-old girl who has a strong ability to set boundaries, say it like it is with no filter, steps toe-to-toe with anyone who

challenges her and is leading the rest of the second-grade girls into her sassy ways. Problem is i'm now discovering that she's not always using her power for good she's the leader of the mean girls in second grade wow i'm a long i know i'm a long-standing fan and admirer of women like my daughter women like you who are comfortable in their skin and don't seem to give a shit what others think free to set boundaries and live a life out loud i love it i admire it and i'm working hard to be more like women like you and my daughter question is how do i raise my little badass to be powerful and kind i don't want her to be the asshole of everyone's childhood but seriously don't want to stunt her strength and power what would you have wanted thanks for

the laughs and inspiration amber and she's joining us here hi amber hi chelsea how are you hi billy eichner's here as a special guest billy so nice to meet you uh that's so annoying i mean i know what you mean but i don't think listen i don't think having a conversation about kindness is going to put out her flame for life. Kindness is part of being powerful. And I wish I had learned that lesson at a very early age. Was she bullied? You know, that's interesting that you should ask that. She did deal with a bully a couple of years ago. And I think that what's happening is she's learned she is powerful. And so she's willing to step toe to toe. So she's also perceiving aggression when sometimes there isn't aggression. I also think it goes a little bit deeper. And one

of the reasons she's got some things going on in her world too, that are upsetting her. And I think that she's trying to control things that she thinks she can control. And she's doing it because she's leading all the, all the girls in school to be, be mean girls, but her brother, she's really close to him. He's 10 years older than her. He is leaving on a Mormon mission and he'll be gone for two years and she's preparing for abandonment. And so she's got all these uncontrollables that are happening in her world right now. And so now I feel like she's punching back at the world when she's at school and controlling all the other girls and getting into, you know, mean girl scenarios. Right. And so have you had an open conversation with her about all of this?

That's a good analysis of the situation. Lots of conversations. But what I'm also starting to see is kind of she's starting to lose a little bit of a spark in her eyes. She's like, I'm tired of talking about being nice mom i get it but i mean we're in the principal's office it's not about being nice i think maybe you should change the word to kind because nice doesn't mean anything anyway who gives a shit if somebody's nice i hate when people say oh she was so nice who cares right that's not memorable it also feels deeply uncool you know to a child and yes it feels deeply uncool but like i think what would be a good conversation to have and tell me if i'm repeating something you've already said is using all that power she has and that personality for good rather

than bad, you know, using that to she look at, look at the power she has. She's a leader. She's got all these girls behind her and she's setting the tone for how everybody's going to be treated. Wouldn't she want to be the good witch instead of the bad witch? She did tell me just yesterday, she said, I feel like I have an anger. I feel like I'm mad inside and I need to get it out. Wow. And I know she's got a friend that's in therapy, so she's actually been talking about that. But I don't know what point we figure that out. No, I think you listen, you have a responsibility to the other little kids at that school to get her help, because that's not fair. Bullies ruin people's lives. There are things that happen as a child that are cemented in your brain

that are traumatizing when you are attacked by another kid at school, whether it's verbally, emotionally, physically, whatever. But you you have a responsibility to everybody else to make sure you get her on the straight and narrow and yes you absolutely must bring her to therapy right away because you don't want her growing up and being like that you know what i mean how old is she again 11 8 8 oh wow is she on social media yet no good good keep her off of that that'll only make it worse so go to therapy now yeah you have to you have to have i think you've got to switch your your approach as well because obviously what you're saying is falling on deaf ears which is a natural thing to happen between a parent and a child but i think you

should also switch your terminology and talk about kindness and spreading joy and spreading love and not in a way that she's going to be like it's so stupid it's like use examples of people that are doing that you know on a grand scale think of people that she looks up to that would never tolerate her that behavior you know who does she admire taylor swift is she into miley cyrus what's she into? I don't think she's exposed to them as much. I have a good friend, Diana, who she really admires that I could really lean into. And Diana is all love and all kindness and all joy. So that's a really good point of thinking of mentors that she has in her life that she does admire that are kind. Yeah. When I was really irresponsible at a point in my life, I was

just, I didn't give a shit about my family. I was rebelling, rebelling, rebelling. My sister, my oldest sister, who's the person in my family I respect the most, she sat me down and said to me, like, you're going down the wrong road. This is your opportunity right now. And this is your last chance. You either stay with the family or we're not going to put up with this anymore. I was like 17, 18 years old, but I was bad. And that changed my life because I respected her the most. She had never said anything. She just showed me unconditional love, unconditional love. And that didn't deter me. That didn't change my course because she was just showing me so much love. And until she threatened to turn that love off, even though

that would be impossible. I believed it and I got scared. So I think you have to find the person that you're talking about. You have to get her into therapy. That's not a question. And you have to have different conversations around the subject matter because your approach isn't working and she's not listening to you in that way. It has to be spoken to her. I would enlist your friend, try and do it that way. But also, you know, read some books about children and their anger and how to exhaust it, you know, so she's not taking it out on other people. And there are a lot of movies about bullying, you know, I mean, Mean Girls is a great one, but she probably might see that at this point and think, I like that. I want to be one of those girls. And you want her to actually

see the light. Were you bullied? Not significantly, which is surprising considering I was pretty obviously gay. But I think, you know, I grew up in New York City and I think that helped the cause. Yeah. You know, I was bullied a little bit, but not not extensively. I was very lucky in that way. So I think, listen, anyone who's a bully was bullied. That's what happens. I was bullied. I became a bully. But you have to dismantle that and you have somebody and have somebody who's a professional deal with it because, you know, you're coming up empty handed and she's eight years old. And this is really the time between eight and eleven that you want to get girls in their heads to be kind. Agreed. Yeah. And just as a couple of ways to help sort of

exhaust that anger and let her have an outlet for that anger. This might be a one or two time thing, but I know when my niece and nephew had a loss in their family, my nephew had so much pent up anger. And he said to my sister one day, he's like, I just feel like I want to break something. And so she went out to the thrift store and bought a whole bunch of plates and we all put on our safety glasses. And we grabbed these plates and we like threw them down on the ground and just broke plates. And it was so such a relief to sort of express that anger. But maybe there are other things that are more long term. Like, I mean, eight is probably young for a girl to start boxing, but like some other physical activity that will allow her to sort of get some of that aggression

out of her body rather than sort of trapping it inside where it comes out in these nasty ways. In addition, of course, to a therapist. And I say it's an emergent situation because eight years old, you shouldn't even know how to be that mean yet. You know what I mean? An eight-year-old throwing plates scares me. Well, she has her safety goggles on. Don't forget about that part. I don't know.

Where did she get the safety goggles? At the thrift store too? Because who has safety goggles lying around, you carpenter? But yes, please get enlist other people to help you, you know, and get on it right away. And I know you are, and I know you're trying to figure it out because it's embarrassing to have a kid that's acting like that. I'm sure you're dealing with all these other parents and. A hundred percent.

And her father and I are both kind of at a loss, like, oh my gosh, what's happening? We are having all these conversations and candidly, we just found out about the, the level of what's happening. We thought it was just drama, just girl drama. And we found out on Saturday that she's actually the ringleader of Mean Girls. And so I appreciate your rapid response. 48 hours later and I'm getting great, great advice from you. And also talk to the teachers at the school and the counselors at the school and how and

come up with a plan that you guys are all coordinated on. You know what I mean? Because there has to be repercussions for her bad behavior and there has to be a form of punishment and that you're working with the teachers and that there are eyes everywhere will have an impact on an eight year old. You know, as soon as she starts paying the price for her behavior and realizes popularity isn't, you know, she's not going to want to stay after school. she's not going to want to get punished when she comes home so have you exercised any of those

options yet I am following up and saying no I want her one-on-one with the school counselor to discuss this specifically they do friendship circles that I've requested before the end of the school year because I'm really worried about one girl in particular that's been targeted yeah well get on it and spend your summer working on her you know and spend as much time as you can with her because a lot of that probably comes from you know I think girls can easily not easily but girls and their moms, there's just a huge healing effect that being around your mom has. I mean, even little boys, especially at that age, you know, just spend as much one-on-one time with her as you can and be as communicative as you can and engage as much as you can with therapists and

help. And, you know, hopefully over the summer you can make some major improvements. Yeah. Was that helpful to you at all? Yeah, it really is. Well, I think really supporting that idea of like we got to get into therapy sooner than later because you know I'm doing all the things saying things I'm highly communicative but I need backup I need that village I need to start building a village around her because I her father and I can't do it on her own we need we need backup yeah yeah and that's okay and also being communicative with the other parents that you're working on it you know so that they you can allay some of their fears because it's so scary for other parents to have to deal with that I was just in a doctor's appointment

yesterday and he was talking about this poor girl she's 11 and she got kicked out of her friend group and now she's in a new friend group and the old friend group is making the new friend group dump her too oh god and i was just like oh my god it makes my vagina shut tight like the idea of children going through this is just heartbreaking you know on both ends it is absolutely i'm also concerned about the mormon mission just for the record all right but we'll get to that next time I'm 100% too. Okay, good. We'll talk about that later.

Are you not Mormon? No. Why is he going on a Mormon mission if you're not Mormon? Oh, my God. I was trying to be respectful. I could feel Chelsea trying to be polite. I'm healing. It's post-Mormon healing for me, my friends.

My sisters are recovering Mormon. Your kids have a lot going on. They called him to New Zealand, which is a really cool place. So I was like, I was hoping he'd back out, but not, no luck so far. How did, can I just, how did he find Mormonism without you guys? Well, I grew up Mormon and left the church, gosh, 12 years ago or something, but his father's still active. And so he, through COVID went up to Canada and is in Canada now and went to high school there. And it's a very predominantly Mormon community. And that's where he found

community and belonging was in the church and with his friends that are members. And so he's fully indoctrinated and it is like I said it's another issue all writing all right yeah well I guess we'll talk to you next week send him to a therapist too while you're at it yeah and me all three of us we all need yeah you definitely it sounds like you do need a therapist all right well it was nice to speak with you thanks for calling in thanks guys what about an eight-year-old bully what about that how did she even learn to be mean someone did it to her that's how right that's right right yeah but i like your idea about movies and like

fill her summer reading list with all judy bloom books bully books all this stuff because when you see how awful it is you don't want to be that like my one girlfriend her kid's 11 she's like being called a bully is the worst thing you can get called at this school i told my friend the other day she was harassing me about something and i was like you're being a bully and she goes don't ever say that i was like oh god sorry that hit a little too close to home i guess there's no shortcut for saving time but saving money is simple just combine your car and home insurance with bel-air direct and save get a quote at bel-air direct.com when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months

i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them There's stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island to deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots

between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite BookTok creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages

inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his

motorcycle, I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be Find a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Well, our next caller is Alan. Alan says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a gay male in my 30s and I've found myself in a bit of a strange disorientation. space when it comes to relationships, including friends, I guess. I had my share of fun times and entry-level relationships in college and through most of my 20s when I found my first real relationship that brought me into my 30s. After a brief break, I was blindsided with an unforeseen relationship break in the first year of COVID. It ended with him cheating on me probably 60% of the time while I was recovering from a physical accident. It was my first time being cheated on. I've always been self-sufficient, and as I get older, I don't seem to have much of a sexual

drive for just hookups. Less, I decided to take time for just me again. Now I'm in the spot where I've been putting my dating feelers out again, but most of the guys I find turn out to be boring or way too simple. I've followed you for a long time and have always thought I'd also have a similar trail of being an independent, single boss, but I can't shake this craving. I'd hook up more, but men are so predictable and boring, lackluster, sex, and lame. What do you think is my relationship block? Have you had times like this before in your life? Love you, Alan, a gay in a gay city. Hi, Alan. Hi, Alan. Hey. Oh, my gosh. Hi, Alan. We have Billy here today, Billy Eichner for you. Of course it would be Billy. Special treat. Are those headphones on

your ears or is that a mullet that's coming down behind your neck? Oh, no, this is mullet baby. oh yeah I like that there we go my summer cut that's cute okay so well your attitude is what's in the way but that's okay because you're not you're I mean you sound just slightly depressed do you feel depressed no not in any way okay I kind of feel like a ghost a ghost yeah like not really a hermit but I'm just kind of there I'm just going out doing my my thing putting myself out there but i'm just really not interested in a lot of other people i'm kind of just like so consumed and like becoming more of a better person oh well then that's the opposite of depressed yeah i think that's good actually it is good i mean that's great yeah there's nothing

wrong with that i think there are periods of time listen i have no desire to have sex with fucking anybody and that's how i've felt for the last six months probably just none like i have to make myself go and look for sex yeah and like set things up so that I can get sex because I don't want to forget but I think that's a normal thing for people to go through especially when you're doing some self-reflection and like inner work I don't think that there's anything wrong with that I think that society and culture especially gay culture sometimes makes you feel like you're supposed to always be on the hunt for like sex or a boyfriend or a relationship or something Right. And we don't really talk about the periods of your life where you just sort of take for yourself. You know, that's not as sexy to talk about when you have those like introspective periods, especially in the gay world where, again, especially on social media, everyone's like naked and they're here and, you know, they're on vacation and they're with these guys and those guys. And I don't know. I think we need to value just as much the times that were, again, being more introspective and self-reflective.

There's a season for sowing and there's a season for reaping. It's not always incoming. Sometimes it's outgoing and sometimes it's just you and self-reflection. That's very cyclical in all of our lives. So you're not alone. Yeah. And I live in Austin, Texas, which is one of the gayest cities. And so I'm surrounded by very much that, where everything is so like sexually driven and like, I want an open relationship. I want as many partners. I just need the sex, you know, and I'm just not for that at this age. And you really desire what your long-term plan is to be in a committed relationship?

Yeah, ultimately. And really, from my early 20s until now, I've been in a relationship. So I got my kind of hookup phase out of the way, established a really strong relationship that was really great. And I thought it was going to go somewhere, but we were on different pages and then was taking a break and immediately got sideswiped by a relationship during COVID. And so we were kind of stuck together, necessarily. So since we broke up, I've been taking a lot more time for myself and I've really built myself up in a lot of different aspects in my life. And now I'm putting the feelers back out there. And it's just, I don't know, I don't have any desire or nothing seems appetizing, for lack of a better word. Well, I think oftentimes nothing is appetizing.

Yeah. It can be a grind. It can feel like a chore, like another thing on your to-do list, like go on dates. And that takes the fun out of it and the spontaneity out of it. Yeah, it's almost like another job. It is another job. And then a relationship itself is another job, you know, and you have to be prepared for that and wanting that. I think it's perfectly fine and actually a good thing to be in a phase where you're not aggressively wanting that, actually. Yeah, I think you should embrace that. I should embrace like the moment that you're in and actually treasure it because you may not be single for very long and you're certainly not going to be single forever. There are going to be people that come in and out of your life.

So you want to really treasure this time alone with yourself. Like I have the best time with myself and I don't feel guilty about that at all. Yeah, me neither. But when I get on, you know, dates or dating apps and they're like, what do you I've been asked, like, do you have any friends? And I'm like, of course I do. I just like myself. Like, is there a problem with that? And why do people ask you if you have any friends? Because they're like, what do you do? Oh, I do a lot of things that involve myself. You know, I don't mind going out to eat by myself. I don't mind going to the library or a bar to read

a book by myself. I like me. Yeah. Well, that's those are all healthy. Yeah, those are good things. I don't understand what the problem is. I mean, you're just not attracted to people right now. And that's okay. That's okay. You have to give yourself permission to be in that phase without judging yourself for not being interested in sex. Cause that's what you're doing. You're kind of playing a game with yourself and a trick on yourself because you're like looking at society and what everyone's expecting of you and thinking you have to deliver to them. And really you only have to deliver to yourself. So enjoy this time. Don't judge yourself. Be like, this is what I'm going to do. Do you know how fucking healthy it is to go and be able to read a book by yourself

and how few people should be able to do that how few people can do that in this world like that's awesome and you're just think of this time as preparing for the person that you're going to end up with like you're doing the inner work and the self-work and spending time alone to prepare for your long-term relationship i think being an extrovert is the counterpart of that i don't need a relationship to make me feel fulfilled but i recharge my battery with relationships and being around people so i think that's what's getting me stuck where i'm like i'm good with this but i also want to recharge my batteries in a different way do you have like a circle of friends that you hang with most of my people have moved out of town oh

so i really don't have anybody left that might be the bigger issue because i'm a very social person I rarely feel a need to go on a ton of dates or be in a relationship, but I couldn't exist without my friends around me. I really rely on them, you know, so that might be the bigger issue, you know, like where are you fulfilling that need to be social, not to date someone or even go on a date or have sex, but to just interact with friends is really important. Yeah, most of my friendships right now are on the phone because they're all the way. That's good. You should keep those going. Make sure you're having phone calls and FaceTimes or whatever you're into on a consistent basis. But you can go make friends in Austin. That's not going to be hard. And it's important. I think Billy's exactly right. Like you're looking to fill a void and you're not really sure what that void is. And I think, yeah, you should work a little bit on making friendships rather than dating. Yeah, that's a good point. what do you like to do do you do stuff outdoors hike do you are you into exercise are you into like chess what's your story yes so that's the other thing i'm a very straight acting male

i come across very masculine in my realm i like to bmx i like the outdoors i like to camp swim and the guys i've gone on dates with are like i've never been camping before i've never gone i don't like swimming or i don't like hiking i'm like what do you do just sit inside go to the bar like that's basic to me there are gay guys out there that like camping i know many gay people who swim who have the ability to swim a lot of people a ton of gay swimmers yes any swim team is full of closeted gay men how old are you 35 yeah it can be hard to meet friends that can actually be harder i mean with for boyfriends and dating well there's an ad there's like a million apps right but just to meet friends which I see a lot of people suffering from at all

different stages of their lives straight and gay and everyone you know it can be hard to meet friends I know guys who when they move to a new city gay guys they'll join a team you know they'll be like a gay dodgeball team or a gay softball team or whatever it is like campers gay campers I'm sure all of those things exist actually and so I don't know maybe maybe that's a I think that you should join something you know go online do a little research either whether whether it's camping swimming hiking whatever your outdoor stuff is that you've mentioned and that's out of your comfort zone so that's like a good step like a proactive step towards addressing the issue and that kind of I think you're feeling a little bit lonely and do that make active steps to just

change your life in little small ways and before you know it you will develop friendships and you will have a circle there and you'll probably worry a lot less about this relationship issue once you have some more community. Yeah, now that I hear that, I think maybe I'm trying to fill two things instead of focus on one. Yeah. So can you do that?

Can you go and just go online after this call and just start researching hiking groups, camping groups? There's something for fucking everybody online. Definitely. Yeah. Or just post on Instagram, I have no friends.

Or a book club. Yeah, that works. Looking for friends. Chelsea Handler and Billy Eichner told me I need to get some friends I can do that whatever works but try not to judge yourself within the process

just have a good time you're going to meet some friends you're going to meet a guy you got to do a little bit of different stuff to get different results for sure thanks for calling thank you Chelsea

I love your fucking mullet rock that out hard this summer it looks good thank you bye Okay. We're going to take a quick break and we're going to come back to wrap it up with Billy Eichner. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save.

Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.

I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island

deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people,

and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip,

I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Well, that was all over the place. Yeah, but we got to the heart of it. Good work. There have been so many articles lately about how loneliness is one of the biggest epidemics that we face.

And I think for especially younger people, it's everyone actually, but at least people in our generation and older, we had to communicate with each other in person. We didn't have our phones. And so phones have replaced actual human interaction. And it's kind of tricked people into thinking they don't need it or they're getting it, but they're not. Like that's not real human connection. And especially post-COVID, I think people got stuck in their homes. You know, there is a little less socializing going on in certain places, maybe. It's really important, right, to get out there and meet people, not to date, just for friendship. Yeah. And also just to change it up, it's always good to challenge yourself. It's always good to do like I would never want to join a book club or a hiking club. But if I were in that situation, I would make myself do that, you know, because it's about doing that. Like you have to stretch a little bit. Billy, thanks for coming in. Thanks for having me. In New York City on this beautiful summer day. Have a great afternoon, everybody. Bye. okay guys we have added more shows to my little big bitch tour because I'm coming all over we had a second show at the Pantages in Los Angeles so that's October 12th and Friday the 13th we

added a second show in Boston at the Wang Center September 29th and 30th is two shows in New York I also have a show in Hampton East Hampton New York August 26th we added a second show in Portland So Thursday, November 2nd, Friday, November 3rd in Portland, November 4th and 5th in San Francisco, two shows there. We added a second show in Seattle, November 10th and 11th. Two shows Boston are November 16th and 17th at the Bach Center, Wang Theater. And I'm also coming to Toronto and Montreal and Ottawa and so many other cities, Columbus, Cincinnati, Detroit, Louisville.

so I will see everybody at all of these shows thank you get your tickets at chelseahandler.com if you'd like advice from Chelsea shoot us an email

at dearchelseapodcast at gmail.com and be sure to include your phone number Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer

Catherine Law and be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent

my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor files with elizabeth smart on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by kristin bell josh gad and adina menzel i auditioned for frozen what for kristoff they said okay what are you going to be singing today i said i don't know that must have been why you didn't get it oh you probably

want plus john stamos hayden christiansen from star wars and more and i guess i can share that no way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast.

Guaranteed human.