Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Get Your Balls In Order with John Stamos

Episode Date: October 26, 2023

Chelsea’s childhood crush John Stamos is in-studio this week to talk about getting sober in his 50s, why he always dreamed of fatherhood, and why he loves Disneyland so damn much.  Then: A newly-sober man is finding his new life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  A 20-something wound up in bed with her best friend, and isn’t sure what to do next.  And a daughter struggles with the loss of her parents at an early age - and wonders if she can move beyond using humor to process the pain. * Read If You Would Have Told Me by John Stamos here! * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Katherine. Hi, Chelsea.

Hi, what is going on? Not too much, just loving the fall weather. You've been traveling all over, though. Where are you headed? Well, I'm performing in Milwaukee on Friday night. And then I have two shows in Chicago, Saturday, Sunday. Milwaukee, Friday night. And then, where is that?

Where's the theater? Oh, Bradley Symphony Center. And then the Chicago Theater, Saturday and Sunday night. Oh, shit. And then another show, Sunday night, but that's sold out. Chicago First show is sold out. We have tickets available for Saturday night, October 28th, and tickets available for Milwaukee Thursday night, October 26th.

I am in New York City waiting for – I just had to get some more knee surgery. I had to get my knee cleaned out. So I am off the pills. I had a two-day party, pill party. And then I have to throw them – well, I don't throw them away because they're gone. They're gone after two days. and that's how any excuse

to be put under yes any excuse to be put under but my doctor said this will allow me afford me the ability

to ski without pain because my knee has really been acting up since my orca so I'm going to either get my leg removed

and replaced I'm waiting for them to come out with some sort of knee enhancement replacement thing where you don't even have to get surgery

but be put under obviously yeah I just think it's a matter of months before they have some new technology or AI comes up with a new knee or something. Yeah.

You know, so anyway, we have one of my childhood crushes on today. Mine too. His name is John Stamos. I'm very excited about today. I know. He has a new book out. What is it called? It is called If You Would Have Told Me.

If You Would Have Told Me. Okay, well, we're going to see what he is going to tell us because there's a lot of juicy stuff in that book. So he did tell us a lot of things, a lot of celebrity books coming out lately with a lot of Insight and Inside Scoop. He is a three-time Emmy Award-nominated TV, film, and theater actor, and his memoir is called If You Would Have Told Me, and it's out this week. Please welcome John Stamos. How are you, honey?

I'm pretty good. Yeah? John Stamos is in the house, everybody. Jesse. John, my childhood crush. I loved you so much when I was growing up. I love you. I mean, not to say I don't love you now. I mean, you're very attractive, so. I'm getting old. Well, we all are.

I have a crush on you. Oh. Because you're smart and you're beautiful. And I remember I was on your other show. Yeah, I've interviewed you before. Are you doing good? You look great. Oh, yeah. Thank you. You talk about being happy now and stuff. That makes me happy. Oh, are you happy?

I am. Yeah. You know what? I was reading your book, you guys. Really? Yeah. Yes, of course. The book is called If You Would Have Told Me. It's out this week. It's John Stamos's. It's your first book, right? That's right. Yeah. I want to talk to you about the process because- Well, what do you want to talk about? Let's get started. How was it?

I like – I mean, listen, it's a very different medium than everything that you're probably used to. So if this is your first book, I can understand you probably feel a little bit overwhelmed, right? Yeah, I was. I feel good now that it's done, but then now we have to go out and sell it. Sell it and promote it, and that is a different beast. But, you know, what I find that is nice and refreshing about books, and maybe you can think about this while you're promoting it, is like you're not promoting a project that you're not completely responsible for. It's your story.

Right. So they're your truths, and then you get to just talk about yourself in the most kind of, I feel like, most organic way rather than promoting a show or a movie. You're right, yeah. It has been interesting, the interviews I've done so far, especially doing this long form because you can really get into it because there's a lot of intricate stuff in the book and ups and downs and stuff. But to do a quick pop on it is difficult, right? Yes, absolutely. But you want to get people interested enough to buy it. Listen, there's a lot of interesting stuff in this book.

And can I ask you, so therapy, that's your part of it? You think you're interviewing me right now? No, I'm not trying to. I'm fascinated by you always, and I like to ask questions. I went to therapy for about two years, intense therapy with this guy, Dan Siegel, and it changed my, I mean, it took a while. Like if someone said, oh, therapy was going to take two years, and then probably two years of absorbing what you learned in therapy, I would have been like, that's too fucking

long. Like, fuck it. But I went in before I knew how long it was going to take. And so it was like, you know. Did you think it was a couple of sessions? Yeah, I think I thought, oh, I'm pretty smart. Like, I'll get this quickly. And then as soon as you get deeper, are you in therapy?

Yeah. I talk about it in the book to this guy, Phil Stutz, who's sort of a famous. Oh, yeah, Stutz, the one that they did the documentary with Jonah Hill, right? Yeah, okay. I was going to him way before Jonah Hill. I think it was like 12 years ago. I can't remember who sent me there. I had Saget go.

So I said, we can't be friends anymore until you go to therapy. Oh, yeah? And he was there until he died. In fact, he still owes Phil money. Phil told me. He said he didn't pay for his last session. Well, he doesn't need the money. So it helped you then?

It helped me, yes. It helped me immensely. It helped me with my self-awareness. It helped me understand the way that I, the vibes I'm giving off, if my personality was coming before any sort of thoughtfulness. So now I'm a little bit more thoughtful and careful with my personality rather than throwing it out there. It's not necessary for me to insert myself all the time. My guy said, you've already charmed the world. Stop.

You don't have to anymore. Just sit back and, you know, stop trying so hard. Maybe that's, you know. Well, we get, I think we get interesting conversation because I think we get very wrapped up in who we think we are. And who we think they want us to be. Yes. Yeah, I had that a lot too, you know, just coming under the scene, you know, being a teen idol and then, you know, some sort of, you know, guy, which wasn't me. and I'd go on Howard Stern or

Jimmy Kimmel or all these shows and they'd say oh you're a playboy tell me about all the girls you fucked I'm like oh yeah none of it it was true but I felt I had to be that guy for real and it wasn't their fault I played into it but once I let that go and it's just hard to trust yourself

that you're good enough and you're interesting enough and you're charming enough right just to sit and talk and I didn't like I went into growing up kicking and screaming I just barely made it to I just didn't want to because it just seemed boring to me and it ended and it really required to sober up too but um it's you know it's been the greatest i've just turned 60 oh my god really yeah that's amazing well look i'm tired but you know it's okay don't worry honey i'm i'm 48 we're gonna

have a big birthday in two years i mean yeah i gotta start planning it now if i'm gonna have the right kind of birthday party i just want everyone to know that i offered john an edible before this interview started because I forgot he was sober and this is a big problem with me as well. Back to the therapy thing real quick. One of the things I learned, which is interesting what you're saying is, you know, I always thought I had to be the center, like the excitement of a dinner party or like the entertainment for everybody. Like I thought that's what people expected of me, that I had to go to every dinner party and just be the funniest person there. And if there was another funny person there, I was so relieved. I was like, let them do it. But everyone is so

insecure about their own funny that people would look to me and be like, no, you go, you do it. And I'll, you know, so it became this weird cycle of like you, you impress upon yourself what you assume people are expecting of you when really maybe not everybody's expecting any of that. No. And then they go to Chelsea. She got to calm down. Yeah. Yeah. Calm down. You know, same with me. I thought I was, had to be that. And I, you know, drinking too. I thought, Oh, I gotta be, you know,

so I can be funny and sharp. It's people see, you know, it's fuzzy is what they saw. Yeah, I bet you feel that too because, you know, you are, people see you on TV and you're funny and you're sharp

and you're very smart too. I think that's what impresses me the most about you. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. You lost, I know you lost your brother when you were young

and the abandonment issues, but then there was another really sweet brother who I met on your show. Roy. Is he still cool? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Roy, Roy's the best.

He's the sweetest. Will you tell him I said hi? I will. He'll love that. He loves you. And Chewy, what about Chewy? Is he still alive? Chewie passed away.

Did he really? Yeah, yeah. Catherine, you're doing great, by the way. I'll see him in the afterlife anyway. When did he die? A couple of years ago. Yeah. He was sweet, right?

Yeah, he was a sweetheart. One of the things that I was reading about in your book that I took issue with is your love of Disneyland and Disney World. I find that upsetting. Annoying, right? To be honest with you, I was over it. I was done. And then I met my wife, and she grabbed me back in. last night

your wife loves Disney World yeah and Disneyland and she and so what was the period of time you were able to stay away

from Disney World or Disneyland a couple weeks a couple months no it was a couple it was a while I was just

it was enough already I thought you know honestly but last night but why were you spending so much time there in the first place it was

have you been yeah I was I was there honestly like towards like before I sobered up for 10 years it was kind of fun to go

and get drunk there you know and there was a But it was dry. It was dry for a long time, Disney World. I thought they didn't have any alcohol there. At Magic Kingdom, Catherine, Magic Kingdom they don't, but Epcot, you'd have beers across the world by the time you got to Canada.

But no, I just get over it. Because when you walk through those gates, the rest of the world goes away, and it's just a happy place to be. That's how I feel about the Playboy Mansion. You do? It used to be that way. Yeah, yeah. Last night, so I'm leaving town.

I'm so busy with all this book stuff, and my wife says, and we do this once in a while. I was like, I've got a surprise. We're going on a date night tonight. This was last night. I said, great. Where is it? I can't tell you.

I said, oh, yeah, I don't have a lot of time, but I want to at least spend one good night with you before we go. And so I said, what do I wear? I said, boots. Boots are good. What else? No, that's good, what you have on. I said, is it a hike?

Is it outdoors? It might be. It might not. So we're driving past Pasadena. We're going up to this neighborhood house, and there's no parking. I said, what's the date night? You and me? He said, well, it's a Disney party.

And there's a couple of Disney legends that are going to be there. And a hundred other Disney geek fans that you're going to have to take pictures with. I said, you're kidding me. This is date night? And it was that. Nice people, but, you know. I said, every selfie I take, you give me a handjob. And did she?

Yeah, there was about 800. Yeah, right. So when is she going to start giving you the handjobs? I should have gotten something better, huh? Probably. So, I don't know. But she loves it. I'm, you know, it's enough for me, too.

I'm just happy you're in a happy relationship. you know what I mean if you have to give a bunch of hand jobs and go to a bunch of Disney events I don't have to give a hand job

oh no I mean if you have to get sorry if you have to get a bunch of hand jobs and go to a bunch of Disney events then that's the bed you made

and now you have to lie in it you're right now you can I ask you about this joke why because I love that you think

you're fucking interviewing me I'm not fucking interviewing me I'm just I'm interested I have a series of questions

I want to ask you people are tired of me already I thought it was going to be the greatest thing ever to you I was so happy

for you. I didn't know him much. But do you feel like if you fall in love again, you kind of keep it quiet for a couple of years? Probably. I don't need to learn that lesson twice. Although I didn't even, listen, to be very honest, I don't feel regret or a rueful towards the way that I behaved publicly with him. I think that was a very good exercise for me. And it was nice for other people to see that side of me because I've never been very publicly in love before. So I don't really regret that even though i probably wouldn't choose to operate like that again you know what i mean because it's like you know who needs to it's almost very like teenager ish yeah but that's how it was cute it was like a teenager love the whole thing it just felt so bad when it you know

but it's okay i mean just relationships end you know and you learn from them and and i think that the most important thing to do as we get older is to remember not to villainize or demonize the people who've left our lives and actually look at them and say you know what what did that person bring out in me that someone that hadn't been brought out in me before 100 yeah so i think that's okay i have like i think before i wrote this book because john's turning me on okay i think before i wrote this book i had i would say oh i have regrets yeah this i didn't i got dumped i got cheated on man and um and after writing i'm like no that's like what you said like if i didn't have those heartbreaks that happened i wouldn't have known how to be right for my marriage now

Well, yeah, because especially because you were married to Rebecca Romijn first before your current wife. And you talk about that in the book and you talk about your therapist and that marriage ending. Right. And your therapist basically telling you that you weren't ready to be with the one and that you had a lot of work to do. Right. So what were those conversations like? Well, it was more about, it was heartbreaking, and I didn't want it to end. And, you know, I always thought we would have kids and a thing and, you know, a fairytale ending. And when it did, it ripped me apart. And I was angry for many years, too angry. Angry at her or angry at the situation? Well, her, you know. As I learned, so I had the first chapter I wrote was, I thought I'd take the hardest ones.

And I wrote about this terrible, the low point of my life, I had this DUI. And I was driving drunk, I was driving around Beverly Hills. and I went to rehab and I think it was there where I discovered like, so the steps, you probably know some of these.

The fourth step is your resentments. So I was like, she did this to me and she did that and I'm making this long list and the sponsor said,

are you done? I said, no. And then he goes, so what part did you play in that? I said, what do you mean? None. Well, you might have played,

even if it's 1%. And I start writing, oh, yeah, yeah. And it was the first time I really was honest about it And I had just as much to do with the end of our marriage as she did. So, you know, you learn. Yeah, yeah.

What was that last thing that broke the last straw that broke the camel's back in the marriage? I started to get emasculated. And I don't know how much of it was her fault or how much was mine. But I felt the relationship just like she was here and I was down here. And I was, oh, you're on TV. And it just was not good. And we split up for a while and we got back together. And there was a lot of rules.

And it just didn't work. And I just said, this is not working, you know. And we walked away. And I have never seen her since. You've never spoken to her since? The last time I talked to her was in this. But thank God because I did more about myself. Like I would never go into a relationship the same way.

And thank God I didn't when Caitlin came around. Right. And so how did you – what tools did you have or like that you developed over the years that made you be able to like start in a healthy way this relationship? or healthier. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I knew that I wanted to, I could get by for so many years with 50%, more than most people, 60% maybe in anything, work thing. And I was just always afraid to give a hundred because if you fail, then you're, then wow, you gave it his all and you failed. So with the relationships, I'm going to give it my all. I'm going to throw everything. I'm going to be, and if it doesn't work, at least I know how to do that. Sober and, and loyal and

honest and all the stuff and it, and it worked. Does that make sense? Yeah. I mean, it makes sense. How many years have you been sober? Close to eight. Eight years. Okay. So would you consider that newly sober? No. I was, you know, I was drinking into my fifties and it just, it was just time. Well, you talk, you have a lot of examples in the book of times where you, I mean, you don't make yourself look good in this book in a lot of areas. And I actually appreciate that because I also like to be honest it's very important to be honest and not to gloss over like and pretend like you've got you're crushing it all the time i i started out that way i was like i'm gonna write a hero book and i'm starting right this is such bullshit and it turned into a human you know it

was a human story because again like i never wanted i never thought i'd write a book it wasn't in my thing i didn't think i was sharp enough and friends of mine that were writing but how do you do what how do you even start i just didn't get didn't get it and then when bob died i wrote a beautiful obituary kind of thing in LA Times. I remember. And so people said, oh, you're a good writer. And I had a kid too. And I was like, okay, so now I'm a father.

What's that like? And I just kept saying no. And then I really thought about leaving something behind for him, a love letter to all the beautiful people that have come in and out of my life, to my wife. And I've had a lot of mentors over the years that I wanted to talk about. But then the clutch was that I found, I knew I had them, but I dug up all these letters that my mom left me, these little notes that she would leave me and my sisters. I said, okay, that's a good place to start.

Yeah. Did your mom pass away? Yeah, my mom and my dad are both dead. I'm an orphan. I just have my brothers and sisters. That's a lot, five or so. Yeah, there's enough of us to go around. Plus, we have eight nieces and nephews, so there's like, you know, we have a big family.

And all of them are married or have girlfriends, and then we have like 10 cousins that live in L.A. So we just, well, not 10, but I say 10 as a round number, but there's eight. Anyway. Who lives at your house now? Do you have any siblings at your house? I'm actually living with, no, I'm waiting for my house to be built, and I am living with my neighbor. So talk to me about being like a father. This is something I always wanted.

And through the book, I was trying to find, like you do, like try to find as many relatable issues. You know, it's like how many people can relate to it. I play with the Beach Boys, a million people. Well, you bring up another topic, the Beach Boys. You learn transcendental meditation with the Beach Boys, right? Because you drum for the Beach Boys. Do you do TM still? I don't do TM.

I do regular meditation, but I know a lot of people who do TM. Howard. Yeah, Howard does it for sure. How would you describe it? TM? Yeah. You know, it's meditate twice, 20 minutes. I'm not very good at it anymore.

I mean, I don't keep up with it as much as I should. But even just to sit for 20 minutes and you say this mantra over and over again. Do you want to know mine? Yeah. Well, you're not supposed to tell your mantra. That was so close. That much I know. Catherine, you're doing great, by the way.

Oh, thanks. I'm just enjoying the conversation. So wait. So I wanted to come up with relatable things. Oh, this is the point. Was that it had something to do with sex. Gosh darn it. What was it?

That you won't have sex with me. I want it. I want it. Well, hey, honey, we're going on a date night. Where is it going to be? It will be at your house. Chelsea's house. Yeah, okay.

And she was so mad at me because I wouldn't take a tour. The house was about this. It was Disney's house. We lived there for a little while. But it wasn't very big. And she was like, come on, let's go on this tour. I want to know what you do for four hours when you go to Walt Disney's house before the tour. Take selfies with everybody there.

Oh, really? Yeah. Do you hate taking selfies? No, I don't mind. No, no, no. I don't mind it either. It's easier than signing autographs. And I heard you talking about, like, you know, you spell a certain name.

And they go, that's not how I spell it. Oh, that's not my mom. Your mom spelled it wrong or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I once had a girl named, like, it was LaForsha, but she spelled it. LaForsha. LaForsha at a book signing. This happened.

She said her name was LaForsha, but with the number four. So L-A apostrophe four and then S-H-A-E. And I was like, that can't be on your license. That's a regular spelling. So that's when I was like, oh, fuck, I better be. You have to ask when you're doing—you always go, like, if it's, you know, Kate the normal way or if it's Kate, K-A-Y-T-E. Yeah, yeah, I hate that. You're also going to get carpal tunnel syndrome from doing book signings.

I have it already because I've been signing—but wait, we were talking about sex. I was trying to find relatable stuff. I was talking about having a kid, right? Okay. You have to have sex to have a kid, yeah. You do? Yeah. In the butt.

I was trying to find—when was the last time you had sex? It's been a few months for me, yeah. Do we know who it was? Somebody in London. Really? Yeah, I was on vacation. So I usually get most of my action overseas. Was it somebody you just met on the flight?

Yes, at a bar. No kidding. Yeah. Wow. I like that kind of interaction. When I was single and if I saw you in a bar in London, first of all, how are these guys not intimidated by you? Men are intimidated by me, and a lot of them cannot perform.

Is it the glasses, do you think? No, I don't wear my glasses when I'm out. Those are only for today because I was reading. So men are intimidated, and how do you? And it plays out like they have trouble performing sexually. So a lot of times I will be out with a man and, you know, we're at a bar or something or at a club. I mean, not that I'm a clubber, but like when I'm in London, I go out. When I'm in Spain, I'm out.

And I'll be like, do you want to come back to my house? And then we get back to my house and they cannot perform sexually. This is a constant in my life. And it's obviously my personality. And men are just either scared or turned off or I don't know. but why would they come back to my house if they weren't going

to be able to perform I don't get that they're the wrong guys these guys yeah so I just keep auditioning different people and seeing who could actually and what happens

so you're in London you say come back to my place and the guy goes sometimes they'll so once a guy was like I go do you want to come back to my place and he left

he goes yeah he goes I'm going to the bathroom and he goes I'll be right back and he never came back I can't imagine any fool would do that but see the thing

about these fantasy like and I try to talk about it in here too where when I was a kid some penthouse girl came into my dressing room at general hospital and had sex with me and i was depressed afterward you know and i think you know i think people maybe think that our lives they probably think our lives are fantastic right they pull the curtain behind it's like oh she's fucked up

he's fucked up yeah you're not katherine but yeah yeah i like that scene too because you talk about like the glaring overhead light and the vinyl you know what i mean like it you know it wasn't the fantasy no yeah i tried to to uh yeah again i tried to find the relatable stuff i started off with getting this DUI. And so I thought, okay, that's a good place to start. It's the hardest thing, I thought.

Turns out it wasn't. And the five stages of grief there were more booze and sex and all that bullshit. And then the second chapter I wrote, which happened to be the end, was the day I found out that Bob died.

And by this point, my five stages of grief were therapy and family and prayer and getting my shit together. And it was... So then I had to figure out how to A to B. Yeah.

But I tried not to be honest a lot of the times. My mother kept every teen magazine every calendar, every journal, every picture. She took a lot of pictures. So it was sort of easy to fact check everything as well. Yeah, yeah. Because you don't want to put out a book like this and not be truthful.

And I think part of the catharsis of writing a book is being able to be truthful. Because when you are in the public eye, you have such little privacy that you try to retain. I know this from being friends with lots of celebrities. And I know you've been famous since you were a little boy, basically. So you've really never had a private, private life. You have to kind of really protect what is private because so much of it is public. And now with social media, everyone – there's no privacy. And I'm not a private person.

I don't care. Like I'm not trying to be private. I don't care if people know about my personal stuff. I'm not that kind of celebrity. But I can respect the fact that celebrities feel that way. They want something that they can keep for themselves. So I get that. But I think the true – like when you write a book like this, you kind of have to give people something that they don't know.

You have to. it was very hard at first and then I really got into it and I was doing all that and then the audio book was a trip too you know yeah that's annoying

I don't like I don't like recording that it took me like 35 days they say it takes four or five days first of all it should not take you 35 days

I mean that's like an elephant's gestation period I know I don't understand that should never take you that long it was my fault but I was rewriting it

I had time to rewrite it yeah you know what I don't like when they give you direction when you're recording your audio book they're like talk more slowly

I'm like I don't talk slowly so that doesn't sound like me I did this thing for Amazon that didn't come out or something, but it was for to put people to sleep. And I was like, okay. And I didn't really know what kind of voice I was going to get. The cowboy and the horse. Can you slow it down a little bit, people?

Okay. The cowboy and the horse. Sorry, John. Less inflection. We're trying to put people to sleep. All right, we're going to take a break, and we're going to be right back. There's no shortcut for saving time. But saving money is simple.

Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.

I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. but these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page

are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,

the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

See you between the pages. And we're right back. We're back, John Stamos. And guess what we're doing now? You're going to give advice to strangers, okay? That's what we're doing. And what's, okay, the show is about giving advice. It's called Dear Chelsea.

I know. I listen to it. Do you feel you're qualified enough to give? No. Okay. But that doesn't matter. And by the way, yes. Actually, I am.

You are. I am because I'm bright, I read, I listen, and I care. So I think those are really the four. You're super intelligent. The last time you were on Howard Stern, I was so impressed, too, with you. Do you remember that? I don't know. Okay, good.

Okay. So anyway, Catherine. What advice do you need from me? Well, we're going to see. We have letters and we have callers. What's the first one, Catherine? So this first one comes from Sober. Oh, okay.

Who's that? That's you. And then I guess your alter ego. Yes. It keeps me out of trouble, being sober. I can see that, John. I can see that. And I see that you get into trouble.

Get into trouble. I don't get into that much trouble. Tell me this, though. In order to get into that, in order to be picked up by some British guy with bad teeth in a bar, you'd have to be a little fucked up, right? I mean, I'm drinking. Yeah. And yeah, sometimes I smoke weed. Sometimes I do mushrooms, LSD.

I like all sorts of microdosing, so I do that a lot. I know you're jealous right now. A little bit. I know you are. I know. And I don't want to rub it in your face. Man, I did a lot of it. Yeah, I don't get into trouble trouble.

Like, I have a pretty good system going. But, I mean, the inhibitions drop down. Have you ever been sober and just, like, met some guy in London and asked him to come home? It takes a little bit of— No, I haven't. That was a big part of it for me. And then you'd get yourself, and it would be with the wrong people and the wrong type of person. Yeah, right.

Well, I mean, yeah. Okay, good. John is trying to get me sober. No, no, no, no, no, no. It sounds like you are. You don't have a problem. Sounds like you're jealous of my— You used to.

I used to. No. Well, let's keep this guy sober. He says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 44-year-old gay man who's newly sober. I started using drugs and alcohol when I was 15 and took to them right away. I loved the feeling of being drunk or high, and I felt like it took away all my problems. At first, I used socially, and for many years, it wasn't a problem in my life. But after about 20 years, it caught up with me and turned into abuse.

I hit my low when I lost a really big job. I've been sober for 10 months now and plan to stay that way. My drug use became such a daily part of my life. I had something come up and something to come down and something to go really up and something to go really down. I'm not working right now. Is this from Elvis Presley, by the way? No, it's not. but you do mention in your book you were like yeah i was my own pharmacist i don't have a

boyfriend and i'm not working right now and i'm really missing drugs and alcohol a lot i'm having trouble finding joy without my vices and worried i'll never have fun again daily life and socializing seems boring to me i know you enjoy drugs socially and thought you could help shed some light on my scenario best sober oh this is perfect time we're just talking this is for you to answer because you have to no you have to speak to sobriety i'm the one who still uses and you don't. You do half of it and then I'll do the other. Well, okay. I would say that if you've been, listen, if drugs have caused you to lose a job, to lose anything important in your life, you've made the right decision by getting sober for 10 months. You've been sober.

Do not throw that in the garbage. You need to stay sober. And this is a test. These tests come up all the time, right? With sobriety, with life, with ever. You have to have, you can't do something for 10 months and expect your whole world to change and for everything to be perfect for the rest of your life you're feeling down and then this is a test for you to get through to the other side and i promise there will be light at the end of this tunnel i've seen it yes speak to sobriety well no i mean that's it exactly and i was that same way you you were sir um what's his name sober just yeah he just said sober hang on just hold on hold on hold on because it does get bad it's hard at first because all of a sudden when you're not doing drugs and drinking all you

have is yourself and you just like oh and your life is probably pretty shitty from all that and then you go, well, what do I have? What am I, why stay sober? What am I staying sober for? I have nothing. And also don't define yourself. Like even you signing the letter is sober, writing the letter is sober. It's like, that's a very one dimensional way to look at yourself. You're so much more than your sobriety, even though the sobriety is the most important thing for you to continue doing right now. You're more than that. And once you get through the like challenges of remaining sober, because the first year is the most difficult they say. And it's true. I'm sure I can only imagine that you are tested and tempted so many times.

Once you get through this year, I promise you, you will feel differently about your sobriety. And it won't be such a test. Right. Isn't that right, John? 100%. And when the good things come to you, and they will. I promise you they will. You've got to stay the course.

Then you go, oh, I don't. And they start to outweigh the drinking. Like we just said, it just would take me down the road. It would low-hanging fruit. Good, I'll take three of those. and just the comfort it brings you at the moment but then the next day

you wake up oh shit I got nothing what am I doing here all I wanted my whole life I don't know about this gentleman I just wanted a family I wanted kids I wanted a wife

I wanted someone who I loved my parents were great you know they had a good relationship and that's what I wanted and it finally came to me but it would not have come

if I slipped after 10 months or a year and people could see it on me you know and when I stopped and I could be clear and like you do now you have it

where you could just look at someone and just be honest and boom boom then the good stuff comes. My wife would have run for the hills if she saw how I was before. I thought I was cool, man.

I was funny. I know, it's so funny. I had a friend that was telling me this story. We were in Mallorca this summer, a girlfriend of mine and I were, and she was saying she was taking some drug. I forget what it was called. I didn't, I wasn't even familiar with it,

but she was taking some street drug, smoking something that's not very popular, but like in certain areas of the country it is. Anyway, she was smoking and she thought she was crushing it. She thought she was going out, being entertaining, having these nights where she was so funny

and so awesome and charming and she goes and then her friend took a video and she was basically passed out nodded out

the entire dinner like this just sitting with her head down and she thought she had crushed that night and she saw that video and she never did that drug again

which is a good way to keep people sober I mean when I saw this shit like I was slumped over in my car when the cops came and TMZ has it

all I have to do is look at that picture for one second it makes me so sick I could have killed I'm fucking terrible man and I was on my way to go meet saget by the way at the palm so i blame him but i want to say a little bit about my wife

too because i know i'm making jokes and stuff about her she is the most wonderful she's first of all the greatest mother since maybe as good as my mom and that says a lot and the conversation that we have in our house now is is so smart and so you know sharp about politics about the world about you know my son's a flirt and he's more like her i was not a flirt at five five and a half but He's terrible. He's like her. It was my birthday, and he had four or five girls, Bella, Stella. And he's looking at me like, Dad, help.

I'm like, you got yourself into this, buddy. We were at Disney. We were in Paris in August. At Disney World there, too? Yeah, I have a great dad. It's a little much, no? Anyway, so we're there. And we were there for two days.

One day we have a guide. She was a nice woman, maybe 50, 55, kind of just a normal. And he didn't really pay attention. Day two, we have this 30-year-old hot French girl. and he's like and in his plays and I can't do this because I'm married now

but it's pretty good he's like so what's my favorite color what's my favorite food you know and I'm like can't you do better than that son and so

then I overhear him saying I have this girlfriend and her name is Bella and she's really cute and she lives down the street and then the guy says excuse me I'm going to use the restroom

and she walks away just as he gets out of earshot and I swear to God he goes why did I tell her I have a girlfriend but my point to that was that we have these great conversations and we are very clear with him that no means no and respect women and my we didn't have that conversation in my home but my dad was

that my dad was so respectful to my sisters and to my mom and never held she wanted to be housewife and it was beautiful and he never held that over her he never thought money or anything like he always thought that she had the more important job which she did stay sober buddy because you know it's a thing it's it's not easy you know it's not easy but well we're going to go on to our next question yet so let's let's move on to the next one well our next question comes from chloe she is joining us here she is chloe with a k chloe kardashian my neighbor chloe was supposed to come on this podcast are you friends with them chloe i mean yeah i mean i like chloe she's cute and sweet she's the taller one she's the taller one they're all very sweet you can't say that

they're not nice and smart whoever's making that dough for them anyway well chloe says i need your advice i'm currently in love with one of my best friends i know tale as old as time and i actually did not pick this one for the disney reference i just thought it'd be a fun one i noticed my feelings for him about a year ago but you're wearing a mickey mouse shirt not that i'm looking she loves disney world because she knows how i feel about it because it's called dear chelsea that's why dear chelsea i don't want dear kevin no i don't want to bother you with these fucking Disney World stories. I mean,

that was the most upsetting part of your book to me was the Disney World aspect. You could skip over it. You don't have to read it. No, no. I just personally, I was like,

really? This is what you're doing in your spare time? I mean, I was flabbergasted. Really? Yeah, I didn't know. I used to go and take drugs there.

You would have liked that. Yeah, I would have liked that version of you better. And the hair? Yes. Can you just fucking focus for two seconds? That's the color

of the tank top that I wore in the Kokomo video, I think. Is it fuchsia or something? Yes, it is. The Kokomo video. Oh, that was funny.

That was a good video. That was a good song. It is a good song. It's still. Okay, go on. So, Chloe. John, stay focused, okay? I'm focused, but.

Just try and listen to the, these are about the callers, not you. It's about to get racy. Lobbing questions at everybody. Well, why don't we, where are they? I mean, shouldn't they call us? She's joining us. She's about to come on. You just stay focused and watch what happens.

Go ahead. So, I noticed my feelings for him about a year ago and didn't want to act on them because he's part of my core group of friends. We recently went on a trip to celebrate a friend's 30th birthday, and since we were the only single people in the group, we were put in the singles room together. And, well, after many cocktails, we ended up hooking up. I need your advice on what to do next. His best friend told me that I'm his dream girl, but he's hesitant to make a move because he doesn't want to lose our friendship. I initiated the hookup.

Do I need to also initiate the next move? And do I tell him how I feel or risk losing our friendship forever? Chloe. This is the first time you've been one step ahead of me the entire episode. John just put on his headphones before I did. And that was pretty quick. You are observant. I've had him since I walked in the room.

Hi, Chloe. Hi, Chloe. How are you? I'm doing great. How are you guys? Chloe with a K. Chloe with a K. So John Stamos is our special guest.

And he's going to start to ask you a series of questions. I'm ready. You can refer to it as a barrage. But so how long have you been close? like how does that have you ever fallen in love with a friend yeah yeah oh i've had sex with them and thought i was in love with them and then are you in love with him do you love him i definitely do he's the dream man he's the total package well she's worried about his family his reaction and if he feels the same way because he's a little bit more trepidatious than she is right yes exactly

but you guys hooked up right and did so afterwards what was it like uh you know like straight you You know, like, like, why do we do that? Or no, not at all. It was just very much like, I think we're both in the zone of what we did that now we either go back to just being completely friends, or we navigate maybe a friends with benefits, a relationship, whatever that next step would be. Would you be okay with friends with benefits? I wouldn't be opposed. Oh, is he there? Can we talk to him? No, he's not here. He's obviously not there.

That's why she's calling us about it. Or he's a teacher? That's very cute. Oh, that's beautiful. That's cute. I think you should just listen. I think there's only one avenue forward, and you just need to make this happen. I think you need to just go to him and be very honest about how strong your feelings are.

You just said you love him. You feel like you're in love with him. Yes. Yeah. Go for it. Go tell him. And if he says no and he resists it, then be like, listen, you've told him your truth. Hopefully, it will come to his senses.

But you can't move forward without honesty. You only get to live once. You should just go take a leap of faith and hope that it works out. And it probably will. Yeah, I needed a little push in that direction because all of my friends were very wishy-washy on maybe you should, maybe you shouldn't. But what advantage would you have by not saying anything? Nothing. No advantage.

We would be stuck in the unknown. Does he listen to this podcast? No, he's a straight man. Exactly. You're the only straight man that listens to this. Listen, I think it's good to take life by the balls and have balls. You know what I mean? And I think by you calling in is you trying to just get your balls in the right order.

And I want to tell you they're in the right order. Go for it. I don't think you're ever going to regret speaking your truth to somebody and saying and proclaiming your love or adoration and saying, let's go for it. There's nothing set in stone. We don't have to commit to each other. We're not getting married, but we're both going to try and have a relationship and see where we go.

and if it works out fucking awesome and if it doesn't work out we'll always try to remain friends yeah that's great about tomorrow you like you said just gotta fucking go for it how are you gonna do it how are you gonna tell him do you want us to do it i have started a little text note in my phone of things i was gonna say and then i deleted it and then i restarted and so far it's i think you know that i like you something along those lines because it's very i'm not being hidden about it i'm not being coy about it he knows that i find him attractive he knows that i like him so i think it's just again me taking the initiative and being like hey what what should we do now what are we doing uh-huh but like i don't think this is a text right like this is a like invite

him out go to dinner no no no this is a face-to-face and don't be like this is coming from somebody who has a very dominant personality really you don't have to make him agree to anything. You just are inviting him to join you in this relationship. It's not like, this is how I feel. This is what's going to happen. I don't think you're going to say it that way, but I don't want you to confuse what I'm saying with that. You want to go in and say, this is how I feel. I want to start something with you. I would like to have us try a relationship. And with the understanding that if it doesn't work out, we will remain friends. We can both be very mature about this. And let's not go into this assuming it's all going to be sunshine and roses, because that's a

big mistake people would make too. And the first sign of like a difficult time, you know, some people, you want to be able to know that they can handle that in your relationship and handle difficult conversations and blah, blah, blah. So it's not like you're signing up to get married. Yeah. This isn't love is blind. Yeah. Right. We barely know you, but I think he's lucky. He'd be lucky to have you. Oh, you seem like a really good person. Thank you. I agree. What is that on? What can you figure what's that on the side there is that a

that's a TV screen or puppet are you ready it's the Bob Ross finger puppet that's cute and you're finger blasting your finger puppet right now exactly

that's a finger blast do you know what that is John a finger blast that's a oh yeah I'm doing it right now to myself thank you for calling in

thank you for calling in thank you for showing us your puppet thank you for dealing with thank you for dealing with John right thanks and keep us posted let us know what happens in order yeah totally thank you so much love you guys yeah absolutely who do you love more sorry

john but chelsea all right i think she got cut off so i just want to finish your sentence it was chelsea i think she was gonna say me how do you keep your balls in or what were you saying keep your i think you're mixing uh metaphor yeah it doesn't matter i can do i can do whatever i want right my podcast if you pray to your balls is that sacrilegious i think i think keeping your balls in order means flying right flying straight got it you know what i mean i'm doing it always like you know I'm always heading north I feel like that conversation

would be easier if she's just like hooked up with him again I don't know I could never figure out like being friends and all of a sudden falling in love like one has to like Kimmel and Molly like they work together for so long and all of a sudden one day they're in love with each other it's interesting one has to she's looking at me like I'm a fucking idiot no I'm not I'm just

thinking like it's I mean there are a million ways to fall in love sometimes it's one person sometimes well Joe Coy and me I I knew he liked me a lot and had a crush on me so it had to be my idea but every dynamic is different and it's kind of the most respectful thing

to do to another person is also be honest in a relationship these are my feelings so that they know this is how I feel and if you don't feel the same way we're coming from two different places and that gives them an opportunity

to act in kindness and respect as well and she's going to hate herself if she doesn't say anything and then he winds up with somebody else you know and she like didn't get in there when she had a chance well our next caller it's a little bit of a turn emotionally but um i think john's ready for anything i think so too i think what you've demonstrated thus far is that you're ready for any sort of problem bring it on okay all right i have to go okay beth says i'm hoping to get your advice on something i think you can relate to

it will make sense in the end i promise when i was seven my mom got cancer at 10 my dad got cancer and at 14, my mom got a different cancer, and at 22, I learned that my dad was diagnosed with his second cancer. When I was 25, my mom had to move into assisted living, and the next year, my dad's body lost its battle with the disease, and my sister and I helped him pass peacefully via hospice. Within the last 18 months, I hit a triple whammy. My mom's body lost its battle. I turned 30 and ended a seven-year relationship. Many people ask how I'm so strong, quote-unquote. Well, my coping mechanism is humor. I often joke about using the dead parent card to get what I want, and I turn things into jokes in an attempt to help avoid making my friends uncomfortable with

my grief. I use self-deprecation to give people an out if my feelings are too real or heavy. Lately, I've realized that now nobody takes my emotions seriously anymore. The people who love me assume I can handle everything that's happened because I'm used to the trauma. This is where I'm hoping Chelsea can help. As a fellow strong woman who's been through a lot of shit who has a sarcastic sense of humor and uses deadpan tones how do you convey your needs when necessary is it your tone of voice do you do this only in therapy and not with your friends i could really use some help to figure out how to re-establish connections with those that i know want to support me without taking my own jokes on the chin hi what's her name beth breath hi beth

hi beth this is john hi beth you know saiyan was the king of of that and he would make jokes out of you know when you know he had a lot of tragedy in his life and yeah that was his way of getting through grief and it was probably as Beth was dealing with a little bit he was like that he would he would use jokes when tragedy struck and and he had a lot in his life we didn't get along in the beginning at all we had different styles and we you know we were like this but we finally when uh his sister you know got scleroderma and she passed away and Dave's sister had cancer and my sister what are the chances that all three of your sisters were so sick my sister made it thank God but theirs didn't and so he would make jokes about it and it was fun at first but then it would

come on Bob you know but that was his way it was it was his only way out and but he was always there for someone like he would do the jokes jokes like probably you are and then he was there then he became Bob and he was the most reliable guy on the planet I asked him to host my father's funeral and he got up and started with tonight's specials are cake and cock and we're out of cake and it was like okay and my mom's like oh but we needed but that was a time when everybody we just needed to laugh and that was great and then he got very serious and then after that he was right by my side through all of it. So maybe you do that. Yeah, definitely. And I feel like a lot of my friends that have tragedy in their lives too, you know, they come to me because they know that I've

experienced it and I made it through it. And I do have coping mechanisms that I've used. It's just this particular loss, loss of my mom, you know, just six months ago has hit me harder than everything else. And I think that they're just kind of assuming, you know, I'm going to stay on the same track that I have always had. And it's, it's kind of like, this one's different though. And I really need somebody else to be there for me the way that I've been there for them. Well, you just said it perfectly. And listen, I want you to think you're in therapy, you said, yes? Yes. Yes. Okay. So I want you to think this is a whole new chapter in your life. You've lost your mother and that's been the biggest blow, but you've had a million blows,

but that doesn't make this blow any less painful. Your reaction and deflection with humor, I have used humor my entire life for difficult situations when anybody used to say, I'm sorry about your brother dying i would be like well you didn't kill him like what did you do push him off a cliff like it's so uncomfortable but was that hard because you didn't take it you would try and then when you were alone it did it hit you or well it hit me many years later i had kind of delayed grief because i wasn't allowed to grieve in my in my mind at that time i didn't want to let myself grieve because everyone around me was grieving and i didn't like the looks of that so it hit me a lot a lot later in life like what i lost and the impact that that had on me but i

think listen you have so much experience in this that you need to take this like new chapter of your life you're 30 this is the first time you're going into life without your mother this can be a new experience for your grief and you can easily explain in the most you know eloquent way that you just did that you have been using humor to deflect to the friends that you need and this is a time in my life where I need to be honest with you I actually need to lean on you I actually need help from you. Just because I've had a lot of tragedy doesn't mean that I've become inured to it. You know, you can say all of these things to people that you trust and know that love you. And I guarantee you are going to get responses that are going to help you through this time. And

you can also look at this new chapter in your life as the period of time where you're not going to deflect your pain anymore. You're not going to use humor every chance you get. And to know the way that John just retold the story of Bob, it does make people uncomfortable and it makes them unable to understand how to communicate with you or how to help you grieve when you're constantly making jokes. So it's not even really benefiting you in any way anymore. So you know how Oprah always says things work until they don't like humor has worked for you now and now it doesn't. Yeah. And I hadn't even thought about it from their perspective that like if they are really trying to connect because I have wonderful friends and they'll ask me, you know, how things

are going or they'll try to bring up both of my parents. And I hadn't even considered that, you know, that's selfish of me that, you know, they might have been genuine in that. I guess I had just always assumed, you know, that they were just trying to be nice or that they just wanted to acknowledge the giant elephant in the room that is, you know. You're denying their friendship to you. They want to help. They want to pour their heart out. And when you put this wall up of jokes and things, then they go home. Oh man, that, that felt bad because they didn't get to help you. Right. Yeah. I appreciate that. I hadn't thought of it that way. And I would be frustrated if somebody did that to me and I'm, you know, and the friend that would sit down and,

you know, grab their shoulders and say, you know, I'm here. Talk to me. Yeah. And sometimes all you just need is like as soon as you break that dam and just let them know that you're aware of this cover that you've been using, all you need is a good cry on your friend's shoulder. It's not even that we need so much it's that you've put up this kind of wall around yourself and you just need to like let that wall crumble down did you get to spend great time with her at the end there and were you guys close and oh yeah i i was her primary caregiver for about six years she must have been so proud of you and the way you took care of her that means so much to a parent you know and she died knowing that that you are the great daughter and you took care of her and you

put other your needs aside for hers at least you have that that's that's really sweet right yeah that's very valuable six years is I mean oh my god that's a sacrifice I don't know that a lot of people or that every person would do something like that give of themselves in that way so you can also take comfort in knowing that you know you were such a support system to your mother but I think more importantly moving forward you want to create this kind of new way of life right like you're 30 now you're a grown-up you don't have to deflect anymore you're allowed to be in pain and the minute you let a little out it's like you're blowing an entire gasket you don't have to look at this as like oh you're going to be crying on your friend's shoulder every single

day like it's not like that you know how grief is it comes in spurts and and it's not constant and the minute you get those walls down you're just going to feel so much more support coming at you and so much loving energy coming towards you that you've been kind of holding at bay I would encourage you next time that you're feeling down or you're feeling really emotional, send a text to a friend and say to them, you know what, I'm really going through it right now. Would you be able to come over and talk with me or be with me tonight, tomorrow, whenever? Let that be sort of your entree into opening up to a friend.

That way, you know, you know and they know this isn't like funny, funny, fun times. This is I'm really dealing with it. And I really need somebody to, like, come be with me while I process this grief tonight. And your friends are going to be thrilled. Yeah. Yeah, I hope so. I kind of, you know, had written in because I was just kind of saving it for therapy. And, you know, I have a great therapist and I have a great psychiatrist that helps me with my meds.

And I trust both of them. And I'm really thankful for that. But I know that that's not healthy to just, you know, keep it between myself and the person that I'm paying. No, this is free. We're free. Yeah. And friendship is free. Friendship is free, yeah.

I bet you've helped so many of your friends, right, in the past. You've been that person to them. Let them be that to you. Yeah, I have a dead parents club group text. Oh, I love that. That's good. I have one, too. From, like, different friend groups that have lost parents or siblings in some cases.

So, yeah, I've brought a few people together in that way, but I've just struggled when it comes to myself and not deflecting. What's one of the great things that your mom bestowed on you? oh gosh everything i know that's a cliche answer but she was just spicy and sassy and never apologized for being herself um she was super materialistic and like not in a annoying way but in like a yeah i'm gonna buy nice things i like and deserve nice things i mean like she demanded that she'd be buried with a full manicure and jewelry on and i pick up the outfit for her to that's beautiful just even to talk about her

because did you see that movie Coco have you ever seen that movie Coco it's a Disney movie I'm sorry we just were talking about it you and me no Vanessa and me

she it was you know when somebody dies they go up to a certain part of heaven and then if you don't keep their name alive you don't talk about them all the good things they did

like you just talked about and the wonderful qualities of your mother then they die again up there so it's important to talk tell stories about her laugh about her make jokes

put pictures of her everywhere and call into podcasts and talk about her if you can okay John wrap that up Yeah. Wrap that up, honey. Okay. Keep us, you're, you're going to be fine. Okay. Yeah. And this is, I just want you to, when you get off this, like you're 30 now, you're going into a new part of your life. Those old things are going to become something of the

past. And now you're going to enter adulthood and womanhood, and you're going to be the woman that your mother knew that you were and that, you know, you are. I appreciate that. Thank you. Yeah. Okay. Love you. Love you. Thank you. Thank you. there's no shortcut for saving time but saving money is simple just combine your car and home insurance with bel-air direct and save get a quote at bel-air

direct.com when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with

Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.

It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. I am womanly. Can you be my friend? Because I bet you all the friends call you and go, hey, this and that. You're really good at it.

Now I know why you have this show. She's good at advice. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Because you've lived so much? Is that it? I don't know. I like people and I'm interested in everyone's story.

So I pick up a lot of information, I think. Maybe that's why. But sometimes I feel like I don't know what I'm talking about. And sometimes I feel like I do. So that's just like everybody in life, right? Sometimes you think you're like crushing it. And sometimes you're like, what the fuck am I doing giving advice out? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, you know, I just don't take myself too seriously. So it doesn't ever really become a problem. Well, you're a good friend, I bet. Well, you talk about your friends a lot. You take them on vacations. Yeah, well, I like friends. John Stamos, the book is, if you would have told me, you guys can order it. You can go to your local bookstores, which I would say to support your local bookstores

so that we have bookstores in 50 years. And I thank you for being here. My pleasure. Always a pleasure, John Stamos. Always a pleasure. It's not enough. We need to get together more often and talk and stuff. Well, we can just meet up at Disney World.

I'm there usually two, three times a week. I usually go from 12 to 4 Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I love to hit the L.A. traffic on the way back. You're the one who wears the Mickey Mouse outfit, right? No, no, no. That's not me. That's not me. But I do have a joke in my stand-up about going to Disney World for the first time at 7.

And even then, I knew it was horse shit. Why? Because I just thought, what is this? This is a nightmare, this place. A bunch of grown mice running around trying to take photos with me. People say she's bitter. No. You're not.

You've changed. You've gotten softer. Less bitter. Yeah, except for that Disney rant. I'm a huge fan, and I think you're smart and beautiful and great, and I'm glad to reconnect with you because I haven't seen you in a few years, and Catherine's fantastic. Likewise.

You need her because I've heard you on your own. And thanks for having me. I love you. Thank you, John. Shabbat shalom. Okay, second shows have been added. For those of you coming to see my new stand-up tour, which you have to come because I'm having the best time, we added a second show in Cincinnati in the daytime at 5 o'clock p.m. I'm doing my first show because I don't have a night where I can go back, so we added a second show at 5 p.m., and the original show is at 8 p.m.

Original show is sold out. Second show, tickets are available, Cincinnati. I'm also coming to Chicago, the Chicago Theater, Portland, Oregon, San Francisco. They're both almost completely sold out. and you can go to chelseahandler.com for other tickets and other information and if you want to buy some of our merch that's all available on chelseahandler.com and yeah guys i'll see you on the road if you'd like advice from chelsea shoot us an email at dear chelsea podcast at gmail.com and be sure to include your phone number dear chelsea is edited and engineered by brad dickard

executive producer katherine law and be sure to check out our merch at chelsea handler.com I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.

each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions yeah i'm obsessed i'm obsessed listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts i'm hoda kotb host of the podcast joy 101 with hoda kotb you know i'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy like when my friend henry winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you.

Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.