Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Gold Star, Not Platinum with Andrew Rannells

Episode Date: May 18, 2023

Chelsea is joined by Andrew Rannells to discuss therapists who quote Barbra Streisand, the trouble with sleeping with your “straight”, married co-star, and why falling in love on-set is just so typical.  Then: An older man wonders if he should open his younger partner up to more variety.  A Portlander just can’t seem to get over his ex… or his ex’s dog.  And a 40-something with a broken picker needs help finding love that doesn’t hurt so much. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Uncle of the Year by Andrew Rannells Too Much Is Not Enough by Andrew Rannells * Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all?

And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability.

Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Katherine. Oh, hi, Chelsea. Hi, what's going on? I just got back from Mexico.

Oh. And it's still lovely. It's still wonderful. I go every year for this girls trip with two of my best girlfriends. I leave my husband at home. This time there were three dogs to take care of. So he's slightly resentful but has forgiven me for abandoning him. Oh, just tell him to shut the fuck up.

Honestly. Slightly resentful. Whose sperm made those dogs? His. Absolutely. Exactly. No, but he did great with the pups while I was gone. And I just hung out and played with my girlfriends and ate a lot of tacos.

And it was great. I like Cabo. Yes, yes. Actually, I'm going to Cabo a little later this year. Oh, my God. Look at you. You're like just a regular globetrotter. Where are you going next? I have a lot of vacations lined up this summer. I'm going to be all over. I'm going to be globetrotting. I'm going to London. I'm going to Spain. I'm going to Africa. My sister and I are going to become lesbians. My dream for us to become a unit is finally happening. She can't resist my advances anymore. The other day, she sent me a property and said, what do you think about buying this together I was like oh here we go I was like it's starting she's starting to

capitulate to the fact that we are going to be long lost lovers oh fantastic which one is it that you're taking as your lover Simone is I am taking her as lover Shoshana's married Simone's not okay of course but yeah she it was funny because when we were in Maine a few years ago my brother Roy I think I mentioned this before wanted to I was like oh look we could all get a compound because like eventually I just not eventually for climate change I want to buy like 100 acres either in Maine or northern Canada somewhere along those lines and I was like we can all have our different houses and you know on the property and then have a main house like this is exactly what I wanted to lead up to just live with in a commune yes exactly that you built

yourself and it's beautiful and and it stays above water yes you know I'm climate paranoid now after reading all the things that I've read. So I have had to pivot my reading material. You guys, I performed at Red Rocks last Wednesday. And it was the most epic night, one of the most epic nights of my life. Well, you posted that you were the first woman to ever headline there? Female comedian. First female comedian to ever headline there. Yeah, I know. That's crazy. I was like, hello, welcome to the future. Anyway, that was so fun because I woke up Wednesday and Red Rocks is a huge show. There's like 8,000 people there. So I get a text from my manager or agent and they're like, okay, it's pouring in Colorado,

bring warm clothes. And I'm like, well, what do you mean it's pouring? This is an amphitheater. Like how do I perform in the rain? And they're like, oh, rain or shine, it goes on. I'm like, but it's calling for Lunder. I mean, Lunder. You guys, it was calling for Lunder. Not Lunder. And I was like, people could get electrocuted with Lunder. And they were like, no, no, they have a whole system in place. They have a meteorologist that works at Red Rocks that tracks the storm. So if it's actually too unsafe. Yeah. If it's like three miles within three miles of the venue, I learned that they will call off the show. Anyway, I went, my sister Simone came,

my bestie Sophie came, a bunch of people were there and my agents and managers all came out because it was just going to be one of those nights. And I never look at the stage before I go on stage. I just don't. But this is something else. That's not my thing. But because it was raining, I went out and I was like, I just want to see where the roof stops over the performer. Are you getting rained on? What do I need to be wearing out here? Because I had my hair done. I had like the extension pieces in like, you know, and then I saw the stage and the person who was performing was just getting soaked. And I was like, wait, what? So then I went in the bathroom, ripped out all my hair pieces, put my hair in a ponytail, rolled up my sleeves. And I

I was like, bitch, you need to get your head on straight because you are basically going to be walking around in the rain. And so you also got rained on. Well, yeah, but it wasn't as dramatic. I mean, it was dramatic for the audience members because they're the ones that sat there and they said, you don't understand Coloradans. Because I said, I'm not performing to a half empty. You know, we sold tons of tickets for this.

I don't want to perform to a half empty house. And they were like, no, Coloradans are used to it. They don't care. And I can't tell you how electrifying the whole night was and almost getting I mean, it was electrifying with no one getting electrocuted. So that was nice. But I was on such a high. And it was so funny. I got home. You know, we're all drinking, having a little after party. I had friends that came from that live in Colorado. We're all out backstage after we go. We go to the hotel. You know, it's so much fun. And we're just such a celebratory mood. And I'm lying in bed, going to sleep, going, I'm so happy no one's in my bed right now. That was the last thing I said as I was falling asleep. I was like, so happy. And then I was just thinking, I'm so happy I get to celebrate this alone.

You get it all to yourself. But then it was a real pivot because we flew from Denver to the next night. I was in New York City. The next night, I played the Catskills. So that was quite a transition from Red Rocks. Catskills was awesome. Then I went to Bangor, Maine, and then I went to Wallingford, Connecticut. So they were all very great shows.

So I just had a great week. And then this weekend I'm performing at Graceland. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I'm doing three dates in Tennessee, like Chattanooga, Memphis, and some other. Knoxville. Yeah. I've heard Chattanooga is beautiful.

I've never been, but I've heard it's wonderful and, like, mountain-y and all that stuff. Well, good. I hope I see that because, you know, Tennessee is on my hit list right now. I'm not happy with their politics. So it's very hard for me to go to these places, even though I know my presence is necessary. It's needed. It's needed. And we get emails all the time, too, about like, wait, no, but please come to these places that are trying to keep you out or like trying to change the laws and all this stuff.

Yeah, I'm getting a lot of DMs on Instagram and a lot of comments about my Florida comments about not visiting Florida. But I have to say, guys, the only way to make a point in any any place in this country is economically. And even though I'm only one person, I hope other artists will follow because it's just unacceptable what he's doing down there. He's disgusting, absolutely disgusting politics. Now he's trying to ban books from the Holocaust. He's took away any sort of affirmative action program they have for universities. I'm not sure what the wording is for Florida because it's not called affirmative action down there. I'm sure they got rid of that language a while ago.

So it's just it makes me so sick to my stomach, as it should to every American. The Daily did a really interesting episode about how Tucker Carlson is like literally in Florida. They're taking keys from his playbook. And when he flew all those migrants to Martha's Vineyard, that was something that Tucker Carlson had said on the air. And then he went ahead and did it. Yeah, well, I read an interesting article also about Rupert Murdoch on Vanity Fair. I guess it was last month. I don't know, it was in my hotel room, but it was amazing about the dynamic with his family and, you know, basically how Succession is mimicking the whole, he plays the kids all against each other.

And he had lunch with Ron DeSantis and his wife about a year ago and said, if you are the Republican nominee or if you want to run for president, like, you have our backing. Because now Trump and Fox are, you know, at a crossroads. They're not really. But I don't believe any of these people because of what happened last time. The minute he gets the nomination, they're all going to turn around and be like, okay. Like they'd be willing to take that over, you know, another Biden administration, of course. And Biden administration, I don't have a lot to say about that either. Like I'm for a lot of the things that he's done, but I understand that he's also 117 years old.

And that's not going to get any young people excited. Right. I will say it has been very nice to just not have to think about the president for a couple of years. I know. It's so nice to not have to think about that stuff. Yeah. Brad has been rewatching Parks and Rec and is this very hopeful time before 2016. And man, it was a real it was a much simpler time. You're reminded of like how how maybe foolish we were and hopeful we were that like things were just going to keep getting better for everybody. Yeah, I'm not I'm not going to participate in the way that I did last time by watching the news on ad nauseum. I'm not going to let I'm not going to listen to Donald Trump speak. I can't take it. It's too upsetting. And I'm smarter and wiser now. And I we have to focus on I don't know what we have to focus on quite frankly. I mean, it feels slightly, you know, hopeless. And I don't ever want to I don't ever want people to listen to me and feel hopeless after. So we're just going to remain positive and know that the world is a cyclical place. And there are good times and bad times. And let's just enjoy the time that we're in now.

Yeah. And voting still matters, you know. And we do what we can to move toward a better tomorrow, as they say. And on that very special note, we have a very special guest. We do. You know him. He's in everything. I first saw him in The Book of Mormon on Broadway.

He's had a book called Too Much Is Not Enough, and now he has a new book out called Uncle of the Year. Please welcome Andrew Rannells. Andrew, did we fucking wake you up? No, I was just late. It's almost 2.30 here in New York. So you were sleeping from last night still? No.

I'm so sorry. Chelsea Handler. That's me. Hi. I'm so excited to meet you. Hi, and I'm Katherine Law. This is Katherine, my co-host. Hi.

Hello, how are you? I'm just great. Well, congratulations, Andrew, on your book. Well, thank you. You know how hard it is to write a book and then distribute a book. It's a tricky situation. It's a lot of work to put out a book. Yeah, and I'm very proud of this book.

I wrote one a couple years ago, and that one seemed to sort of come out a little bit easier in some ways. This one was a little harder to talk about and a little harder to share. But I'm very excited to get to share it. You know, the weirdest part of it was doing the audiobook. Yeah. I don't know if you had this. I find that to be incredibly annoying. well I like I wrote it and I did all of the stuff and I feel like I really processed all of my

thoughts and then I had to like read it out loud in front of a weird stranger an engineer who had not read it by the way but gives you notes on your performance and hasn't read the book and doesn't have never met you yep and he was like it doesn't sound like you and I was like I'm sorry what now? It doesn't sound like me. Okay. I had a guy go talk more slowly. I go, no, that's not how I talk. Yeah. It was very strange, but I'm happy with the way it all came out. But man, oh man. So why do you think that this experience or the second book for you was more difficult than the first? I feel like the first book was a little more linear. It was a little more about like how I started into showbiz. And like, it felt like a little more natural

progression. This one is more about more adult stuff, I guess. It all kind of started because I wrote this essay for the New York Times about my anxiety. And it's much more personal. Can you talk a little bit about your anxiety experience? Because I know you started therapy because of that. And then, you know, it wound up being a very good thing for you because of other things that happened in your life. I've had many therapists over the years. Some of them are great. You know, therapists are, it's hard to find a good one sometimes. I really struggled during the pandemic. I've been very lucky as an actor. I go from job to job to job. And then I had a really hard time not working. And it was really hard to like stop and

slow down and figure out, well, who are you if you don't have a job? And that was a really tough thing to figure out. And very relatable, since everyone was pretty much out of a job at the same time. Yeah. Even though it feels isolated, like it's happening to you. I mean, in reality, it is happening to the whole world. Everyone sort of had that feeling where like the bottom just sort of dropped out and you had nothing to do. And I thought maybe I could relax into it, but I couldn't relax into it. I see. Yeah. And that was, I thought maybe like, well, nothing's happening and everyone's on the same page and it's totally fine. I couldn't get on board. Well, and there is a sort of thing where, you know, our identities get wrapped up in what we do. It's the thing we spend 10, 12

hours a day doing we say i am a actor podcast producer whatever not that's what i do so it's difficult when you have to separate those two things yeah it's hard to balance the act of your consciousness like spirituality with your reality sometimes it's really hard to be the person you want to be in a stressful situation sometimes and then you're like fuck wait i thought i would be able to handle something like this better not that anyone had you know any idea the pandemic was coming but no but it is that's a very good way to say it it's like I thought maybe I could handle myself better yeah and I think with therapy a lot you did you go to therapy before the pandemic as well yes sure yeah yeah no I've had I mean like off and on for you know 25 years I've

had a different yeah yeah I know from my own experience that you have this idea sometimes when you go for a long enough period of time that you're fixed and there shouldn't be another issue. Like for me, I'm always like, okay, I sorted all of that out. I shouldn't have to face anything like that again. And so then when you're faced with it again

and you may act in a seemingly similar way, you're definitely like there's self-flagellation involved because you're like, fuck, I already learned that lesson. What am I doing this again for? Why did I do it differently? Yeah, I've had many different therapists. I had a therapist that I went to for many many years and I realized I sort of hit a wall

with this therapist and I realized when I hit the wall he sort of like I was telling him a story and he sort of like glassed over it a little bit like I could I could tell he wasn't listening and then he said to me Andrew what's too painful to remember it's simply hard to forget so it's the laughter we remember and i said did you just quote the fucking way we were to me and he said oh god i'm so sorry i i guess i did i said you quoted the way we were to a gay man and thought you wouldn't catch it was he gay because he is now he's now gay he was not gay but I was like, how could that happen? That's so funny and so annoying. How would you possibly say that to me? Right. I've had moments like that with people when they've said something. I'm like,

that's the end. That's the end of our friendship. You just crossed the Rubicon. Yeah. Can I tell you one more therapist story? Yes, please. That I wrote in my book and I'm sure my ex-boyfriend would like, my ex-boyfriend and I, his name was Michael. We really tried. We went to a lot of couples therapy we really really tried and we went to the couples therapist he was you know talking to the therapist and he said Andrew sucks the air out of every room we go into it's like I'm not even there every time we walk into a room it's like no one even sees me he went on and on and on and then the therapist said, Andrew, did you hear what Brian just said? And I said, his name is Michael.

He went, what? And I said, his name is Michael. The same thing happened to me. I talked about this on an earlier episode. My therapist was like, oh, your boyfriend, Greg. I'm like, you mean my husband, Brad? I love it. I love it. Not great. It's not great, Chelsea. Not great. I'm going to bring up my favorite story in the book, which, of course, is you having sex with a married man and then having his wife return your panties to you. Oh, no. Yeah.

Oh, yes. We actually read it. Oh, yes. Yeah, we read it together. You actually read the book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a reader and Catherine is a podcast producer, like she said earlier. So that's our job to read your book.

I know, but I didn't think most people actually read it. Oh, I forced your team to send it to us. Oh, God. Okay. I did have sex with a very ultra-conservative married man, just like a one-night stand, and it was a strange situation. And I regret doing it. I wonder how he's doing now is sort of my—because I've not kept in touch. Well, and then the part about his wife returning your underwear to you. Yeah, what was that like when you started getting texts from her being like, I want to talk to you? Oh, that was a little tricky. So I left. He sort of took all of my clothing with him, and we were doing a musical together. And a couple days later, she showed up in town, and she did arrive with my washed and cleaned underwear in like a little baggie.

Like a sachet? Well, it was like a little FedEx bag. And was totally fine with the fact that he was gallivanting around with men, correct? I mean, I don't know if she was fine with it, but I think that she had come to terms with it. I think she had made up her mind that, like, we're going to get through this. Well, if you think about the dynamic between a gay man and a woman, right? Like your bestie, whoever your best friend is that's a gay man. Ideally, the best chemistry would be for the two of you to be married.

And just let him fuck men on the side. You're in a long-term relationship. I know you two are a very hot couple. You and your boyfriend, Tux, your partner, I should say. Well, thank you. Because you're more than boyfriend and boyfriend, right? Well, yeah. Boyfriends, partners, yeah.

We're not married. We met doing Boys in the Band together, 2018. And we've, like, you know, it's the laziest story ever that, like, two actors met doing, like, a show together. Couldn't have been lazier. I have to say, I told Chelsea this morning, I was like, when I realized that's who Andrew Reynolds was dating, I was like, the two of you together are so incredibly hot as a couple. I was taken aback. You also sort of kind of look alike, similar.

So I'm sure you've heard that before. We do have a similar vibe. Yeah, you look like you're both from a different decade, but a very similar. Is that narcissistic that I'm sort of dating myself? Probably. I mean, what else could it be? I know. Dumb actor. Dumb actor. Yeah. No. And people have asked me, like, well, how did you guys meet? I was like, well, we were playing boyfriends in a movie. And that's as simple as it

is. But aren't you like a stepfather now? Doesn't he have two children? He does have two children. Yes. You know, am I a stepfather? You know, I try my best to sort of be as present as possible. I'm not there a lot, unfortunately. I work a lot in New York. And he's in L.A.? And he's in Los Angeles, yeah. I can just pop over there and look after the kids. I love children, so you just tell me when.

I know. I can take some of the load off. I know you dig a kid. I know that from just being a fan. But, you know, it's tough because I'm gone a lot. I try to be as present as possible. I really do. I really liked in the book how you talked about sometimes having a difficult time connecting with them.

Chelsea and I have talked about this, too. It's like because they're like preteenish, right? They're like 11-ish. They're 10. Okay. But it's like sometimes you're like, what do I talk about with a 10-year-old? It can be difficult. Yeah.

But, you know, I hate fucking having to make conversation. I fucking hate that. So when you're talking to a 10-year-old, like that isn't related to you, even when they are related to you sometimes. it's like it can be a chore like that's why people become parents because they're ready to take that responsibility on and I think what I find so annoying is that I'm not supposed to take that on I chose not to do that so don't expect me to mingle like with your kids unless they're fucking cool and then I'm into your kids like I'm into really cool kids my friend Jamie Greenberg has a really cool kid yeah Lenny and I like her yeah but kids are mostly not cool yeah they're

idiots because they haven't grown up yet and and i think being a parent and i really appreciate my siblings skill at this that they really do engage with their kids in a great way and i found that i maybe don't have that skill like i don't i don't have that like natural thing where i'm like oh i know how to talk to a kid i don't always know how to sometimes i can like sort of drop in and be and there are moments with tux kids where like i do it well but like sometimes i don't do it well and it's really hard to it was a really hard lesson to learn oh you're not naturally good at this and some people are naturally good at it some people just like know how to do it and know how to talk and like fuck around with kids but like i don't have that gene and it was a really

hard lesson to figure out oh you don't know how to do it that was tricky i'm good with like the fun stuff i'm good at like messing around at a target right doing some voices and having some Fun. I'm good at that. Taking them to school, not so good at. Not so good at. Making breakfast, not so good at. What do you think that you're really good at? Not with regard to parenting, but in life in general, like what do you think one of your greatest gifts is? I feel like I'm a pretty good friend. Like I keep in touch well. Okay, I think. Now you're going to get some responses from my friends. They're going to be like, no, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. I don't need a lot of things or people to be on top of me.

Well, I don't feel like I do either. And I feel like sometimes that bites me in the ass a little bit that like, because I don't need a lot, then sometimes I don't maybe necessarily give. Uh-huh. Yes. I think those two things are twins. Yes. I think if you do one, you do the other. Exactly. I'm guilty of the same thing. Yeah, I don't need a ton from you. So then maybe if I don't always give it back, then I'm looked at as sort of being selfish or being, I don't know. That's a thing that I just sort of realized about myself. Yeah, but selfish is a judgment.

So like you shouldn't think about it that way. You should think about like, are you taking good care of yourself or are you actually like ignoring the needs of other people that are important to you? That kind of thing. Well, that's a nice way to say it. Well, that's, I learned that in therapy. I'm going to give you, I'm going to just send you like a Venmo because I feel like this has been like a real therapy session. Well, that's great because you're, you're about to give therapy to our callers that

we have people live that call in. I'm very excited about this. So get ready. Catherine is going to give us up, get us up to speed. Hold on. No, you don't get any prep time. You don't get any prep time, Andrew. Is there anything that I should know?

Like, is there anything I should be prepared for? You, well, there's a couple of sex questions, but we're going to take a quick break and we will be back with Colors and Questions. The Hard Rock Bet Casino app is here, Ontario. It's safe, secure, and crystal clear with fast payouts and 24-7 local support. You can play over 3,000 games right here,

including Hard Rock Bet Casino exclusives. the hard rock back casino app is here ontario roll with us must be 19 years of age or older to play ontario only please play responsibly concerned about your gambling or that of someone close to you visit connectsontario.ca when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files you just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going

to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page

are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.

I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed, so obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments,

nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages.

On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle, I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Oh my gosh. And we're back. Okay. We are back. Let's start with a breakup question. Oh, boy. Are you ready, Andrew? Are you ready? My God. Yes.

This might be a quickie, but we'll see what comes out of it. This comes from T in New Zealand. Dear Chelsea, I need to break up with my boyfriend. We met last summer when we started a new job together. Things moved super quickly. We've been dating for about seven months now, but it's just not working out. He's still a great person, and I care about him. I'm a 28-year-old male, and he is 24.

Now, my dilemma is this. Our work schedules are totally opposite. The days I'm not working are the days he is working, and it's just how our fixed schedules happen to work out. Not only that, but we live 85 kilometers, which is about 50 miles, apart from each other. Thank you for that conversion. You're welcome. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for doing that. I was trying to do the math in my head. I can't do it. No, it's impossible. Even Siri couldn't do it. I had to, like, find a calculator. We live 50 miles apart from each other and work somewhere in the middle. We don't see each other often, and I've been trying to schedule a time to hang out,

but it's proven unsuccessful. He wants to hang out on Wednesday when I'm finished with work, but I feel bad he'd drive all that way just for me to end things and then he'd have to drive back. However, I know ending things over the phone is like the cliche movie scumbag move. Do you think it's acceptable in this situation? If you were in his shoes, would you hate the person who broke up with you over the phone more than the person who made you drive 170 kilometers thank you t i think that's a phone call then if he's gonna be dry yeah that's just the right thing to do like i can't you can't make somebody drive to you to get broken up with right that's so fucking stupid that first of all that entire conversation

is stupid they're in their 20s they're not really dating they don't live in the same city fuck off you're not in a relationship you don't live in the same city you're in your early 20s you're not yeah it's not a big deal dating each other it's not a big deal just check out say it over the phone do not drag that out that is so obnoxious agreed no text but phone call yes i know i'm sure they have really cute accents but like done i'm done yeah i'm done with that one gotta nip it in the bud next caller our next caller is devin devin says dear chelsea i'm a 29 year old gay man living in portland oregon and on halloween of 2021 my ex-boyfriend of two and a half years broke up with me we had a good relationship but he often felt bound by the

constraints of our relationship when we broke up i was utterly devastated i've come a long way since our breakup and have embraced my slutty phase by sleeping with dozens and dozens of men and exploring other kinks that I didn't have a chance to explore before. My problem is this. Even after a year and a half of being separated, I still feel insecure about seeing my ex in public or running into him at a party. Portland is a small gay community, and I often see him at our local gym. I can't help myself but think about the guys he's sleeping with or the men he might casually be dating. To add insult to injury, I was primarily the bottom in our relationship, and he rarely let me top. I told him time and time again that I wanted to top, but somehow we always found ourselves

in the same positions. After our breakup, I was still logged into his Amazon account when I found a douche used to clean your butthole before sex, and I really got in my head about him bottoming for other guys when he wouldn't do that in our relationship. We struggled a lot with insecurities on both sides and both suspected the other wanted to sleep with guys with bigger dicks. Do these feelings come up in heterosexual relationships as well? I've tried to refocus and channel my thoughts other places when these things come up, but sometimes I can't help but fixate on them. Any advice you have is much appreciated. Much love, Devin. And Devin is here with us on the phone. Oh, Devin's here. You can counsel him directly, Andrew. I can't wait for

this. Devin, I, the bottoming conversation, it really took a turn. Devin. I did not. I was not following. Hold on. Devin's muted. First of all, Andrew, slow your roll. Okay. Devin, do you see Andrew? Here's our special guest. How lucky are you? Hi. Hello, Devin. Have you since found a top that satisfies your needs? I'm still dating. I actually had a date last night, just sort of like casually dating and kind of checking things out. All right. so the answer the short answer is no i just i'm kind of like still doing my thing sleeping around doing what i can and what's the portland scene like is that a big gay scene it's relatively big i would say but it's a lot of the same people the pool is still kind of limited it seems like and a

lot of what i've encountered is a lot of people are in open relationships also and i know that's such a weird headache right people who are like in open relationships and you're like yeah do it or don't come on now how long have you guys been broken up you and your ex-boyfriend about a year and a half so Halloween of 21 so quite a while what did you dress up as on Halloween is that really necessary Chelsea I think it's a pertinent question in this conversation it's important the last few years I've dressed up as Trixie Mattel okay so that Chelsea I feel like that's very informative okay I feel like we needed to hear that okay well and then how does that change and pivot you're thinking, Andrew? Well, I feel like you're a power bottom. Okay, so you're definitely

a power bottom. I think that it's a long time for you to be still obsessing about your ex. So have you been to therapy? I have, yes. But it's been quite a while just because I was seeing a woman therapist and her and I really hit it off. But then she recommended I start seeing a gay therapist because I was teaching her more than I was, I guess, getting back. So she recommended I see a gay therapist. She sounds like a bottom. Yeah. And the two guys that I saw, I didn't connect with them enough. I felt like I was venting more than I was receiving, I guess. How are you meeting people in Portland? Are you like on apps or is it just sort of more of a general, you're just hanging out in bars and things or? A little bit of both, like Grindr,

but it's that's a lot of just like hookup culture you know what I mean yeah whereas like so I went on a date last night in fact and I saw him on Instagram and that's kind of in a way and I kind of reached out and just kind of went out on a limb like hey I think you're really handsome kind of put myself out there I said I know this is a little forward but like I think you're really handsome you seem like a cool guy can I take you out so we went out for a drink so how'd that go it was really positive yeah it was really yeah good it was a good experience yeah well that's good. Yeah. I think you have like a lot going on. I think you're like allowing yourself to fixate, which is just kind of like a mental game that you're playing with yourself. And I think, you

know, talk therapy is a good way to like deal with that because you shouldn't have to be obsessing about like, it's none of your business what he's doing with other people. He's not your boyfriend anymore. It really doesn't matter. You're going to have like a succession of men in your life moving forward. And regardless of Portland being a small town, so what? So like the sooner you warm up to the idea of bumping into him and not being so injured by it I think the sooner that it will become normalized and the sooner you can move on from this kind of tethering you have to him that's a very good way to say that Chelsea is like he's not your ex-boyfriend he's just a man just another person yeah and you should like you should actually try to bump into him so that

the quicker that that happens and the sooner you get the ball rolling of normalizing it even though if it might feel gross right now or like you're not ready I think you should kind of just force yourself it's been enough time and just force yourself to be around him when you know you see him be cool hey it's nice to see you don't bring anything else other than just complete like just be cool so that way you can leave that situation he knows and then you kind of diminish the tension between you two yeah and i think i run into him primarily at the gym and like he'll ask me to walk the dog or watch her if he's out of town and there's part of it like that i don't love it either because i don't like to be in his space like i don't like going into his apartment i

don't mind running into him at the gym sure but yeah it's like i don't really want to be in a space i don't want to and i think part of it's like i identify that i'm still a little injured by some of these things and like it's all feels very surface level what we end up talking about it's all like bs hey how's it going just stupid stuff i feel like there's part of me that i still want to talk about some things that i'm injured by and some unresolved feelings i guess but i don't know i just need to like let that go and move on and yeah maybe you just let that go i think it's a practice of letting things go it's doesn't it's not the easiest thing because you can hold grudges against people and lay blame because as long as you're doing that you're kind

of the victim and i think there's a little bit of victimness victiminess in there you know what i'm saying i think you should really really try to practice letting go of any anger you have towards him relationships don't work out all the time it's really nobody's fault you know what i mean it's just a matter of chemistry and longevity. So like, don't hold I mean, I know you do. And I know we all do. But it's something that you want to start thinking about and actually start practicing, like whether it's a mantra, whether it's a meditation, whether it's you reminding yourself every morning, like you want to give out love, not resentment, you know, as long as you're holding on to that, it'll kind of have a negative effect on you. Sure. Okay. I mean, that's something

that I could use as well. So thank you. He's getting a double dose. We're giving therapy to you and we're giving advice to you and to Andrew. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. You've, you've also given it to me, Devin. So like now when you're like looking to date people, are you looking for the opposite sort of person? Or are you looking for someone who's sort of similar? Like I've not been on the dating apps, but when you're scrolling through, are you looking through sort of a similar situation or do you feel like you've passed that? Are you hitting on him right now? are you andrew are you hitting on the boyfriend chelsea oh oh i'm sorry devin are you looking for someone that's based in new york and yeah

whoopsie doodle anyway devin are you good with that advice can you start doing that can you do you understand what i'm saying when i say start practicing it like does that register yeah just sort of like let go kind of forget about it move on just kind of like let the like kind of like give up the resentment. Yeah. Look at him with love. Like whenever I don't like someone, I'm always have to, I say, I'm like, love, just love people. Who cares? You don't have to hang out with that person, but just show them kindness and love. It's just good vibes to be given out anyway. You know what I mean? Sure. And I think kind of what right now what's kind of happening is we get into these little fights or spats. And so then I like leave kind of like resentful and I'm like upset.

And then I just like, where do you get in fights and spats? Well, he's watching his dog. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no more watching the dog. That's no, that's a wrap on that. Like Andrew said, he doesn't like that. I don't like that either. Yeah. And you don't need to be like his friend. You don't, don't need to be there to support him.

Especially you shouldn't be arguing with your ex-boyfriend. There's nothing to argue about. You're not together. But that makes sense why you're still hung up a year and a half later since there's been this sort of constant. You are postponing this situation for yourself. So you have to stop going over there and taking care of his dog. And you certainly have to stop arguing with him.

There's no more arguing. You just won't participate in it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You can do this. I can do it.

Yeah. Go get them, Tiger. Okay? Bye, Devin. Thanks for calling. All right. Yeah. Thank you, guys.

Thanks, Devin. Some people need a very firm hand. Devin was a real sweetheart. He was. And he needed a swift kick in the ass because he's like- And he did. He cannot watch that man's dog. Going over and watching-

No. And then fighting with that fuck off. No. You're lucky I'm fucking babysitting your dog. I would never babysit anyone's dog. I once babysat this couple. I worked with this girl at this restaurant once, and she asked me to babysit her dogs and stay at her house, which she thought was like fun for me.

It wasn't. And so I decided after two nights, I'm like, I can't stay here anymore. So I just wanted to stay at my own place or I had a boyfriend or something. And so then I would just leave the dogs there and go and feed them in the daytime and take them for like maybe a walk. And I did that the whole week. I was like the worst dog sitter in the world. But they were fine, right?

Yeah, they were. but I wasn't dog sitting them. I was feeding them. Well, that's one can argue that's more important. Should we hop to our next caller? Yes. Let's go to our next caller. We have another caller. Another one. Yeah. I'm very excited. Okay. Well, this is alive. What do we got? What do we got? Ramone. Ramone writes, Hey, Chelsea, I'm having a serious problem. My last three long term relationships have begun well, or so I thought. They turned into toxic relationships that involved addiction, me being subjected to emotional abuse, manipulation, and sometimes violence. I ignored quite a few red flags at the beginning of these relationships because I was

raised to give people the benefit of the doubt. I would also try to ignore the bad and focus on the good, hoping they would change, and they never did. My question is how do I avoid ending up in yet another relationship with a toxic or narcissistic manipulator without sacrificing my belief that people can change and deserve second chances? I'm taking some steps already, like listening to my intuition, being careful with ignoring red flags as they appear, and just generally trying to protect my energy and not give it so freely. I appreciate any help and insights, Ramon. Hi, Ramon. Hi. Ramon, that was a very thorough description of your relationships. Thank you for sharing that. Well, thank you. Yeah, it's been three in a row of verbal and physical

abuse, addiction, and then realizing my most recent relationship was a narcissist on top of all that as well. Oh, boy. How long did the relationships last? So my first with my ex-husband was 10 years. Oh, wow. Yeah. And then the third one was about five. And this most recent was three. So it's almost been 20 years. That's a long time. Yeah. Chelsea, what are you? I mean, I'm sure that you had a lot of childhood trauma. Have you? Yeah. So I was kind of raised to give people second chances. And that's part of why I wrote in was I don't want to give that up. And I want to see people for who they are. But, you know, I did. My dad used to be my mom. And, you know, I grew up as an only child. So I guess there's a lot of I can relate to people and maybe in

these situations that I kind of bring them in. Yeah. OK, well, I can tell by everything you're saying that this is like textbook trauma. You believe that this is you deserve this and that you can fix people and that this is good enough for you and that's not good enough for you. And what you're in charge of is changing the narrative of your own story. You're the only person in the world that can say, this is beneath me. I am no longer settling for this. Like no one else can do that for you. So until you're ready to make that decision and that declaration to yourself and to the entire world, then you're going to keep bringing these people into your life. You have the ability to stop this. It does not have power over you. It does not.

Yeah. With the most recent relationship, I did end it. He's still harassing me here or there, But for the most part, I'm away from it. And I'm being more protective of my energy, who I give it to, who's around me, and just trying to be observant that I don't, again, court that same energy to me. And listening to podcasts like this and some other resources I've been using is kind of getting me to that headspace where I can maybe be a little more defensive without giving up my belief that we should take people as they are. I like to think of it as a negative. Those two things aren't mutually exclusive is what I'm trying to say. You can hold all of that in a very positive light. It's not like you're rejecting people. You're protecting yourself. You don't have to think of it as a rejection or as a defense mechanism. It's a self-preservation, a self-protection, something that you haven't been practicing your entire life because of something that you had no control over that happened to you as a child. But the difference here is you're an adult now. You have all the control and you're choosing to still set up situations that are emblematic of your childhood. So it's so much simpler than you even think it is. And it's so much easier for somebody like an outsider to point it out to you. Right. So I just want you to have clarity about how easy this can be once you like really make the decision that you're done. And it sounds like you already have. Yeah, you know, like I said, that relationship's over. I still feel for these people, you know, and I wish them ill. I want them to be the most successful people on the planet just over there, you know, away from me.

And, you know, when I left this person, I said, look, I got to look out for me. I got to protect myself because I was getting to a really kind of dangerous space. Like, it was just very stressful. I was constantly like fight or flight. I couldn't sleep because I'm like, is it going to come in to the bedroom and cause a scene or do something drastic? So but now I'm in my own place, my own space, and just trying to focus, as you said, on protecting myself. But just, you know, I don't want to lose that empathy for other people. You're not going to lose that. You don't lose that stuff. That stuff is ingrained in you. You know, you either have empathy or you don't. I mean, you can gain empathy if you don't have it. You can practice it. I've done that. But you don't lose what you have. Like, that's a natural gift. Most people have it. Some don't. But, you know, that's a separate conversation.

But I believe in you. I believe that you can totally make these changes. I know you can because you're thinking about it. And you don't have to be worried about, you know, these kinds of people coming into your life. You know how to recognize it right away. Like, you have a huge advantage. And it's not a rejection. It's a protection.

Just put a positive word to every negative word you're thinking because there always is one. And it's usually the opposite. Yeah. And you don't have to think of empathy as like this thing you're going to lose. The truth is like there are red flags, there are orange flags, there are yellow flags. So as you move forward. And there are purple and blue and green. But just because you have empathy for someone doesn't mean you need to let them into your innermost being or your checking account or your life or your life or any of those other things. Like Chelsea said, protecting your energy and recognizing like, oh, this person is showing me red flags. That means they're not a good partner for me, but like I can still be friends with them, whatever. But seeing like some yellow flags like that might be OK.

It just depends on what that is for you. But also knowing like you have a history of being okay with those red flags coming into your space. It's part of that acceptance. You know, I accept the people as they are, and I'm good at compartmentalizing things because I think I did that as a kid. I compartmentalized, oh, my dad beat my mom, but he also loves me. So how do I resolve that?

So when a person's terrible to me, I'm like, well, but they're really sweet here. So I'll just put this away and I'll fix it later or we'll work on that. But yeah, now, I mean, after, you know, 18 years of this, I think I'm done. uh hopefully but you know but yeah i think that the key is i just didn't want to just be so cold and and just like shut it all off but kind of bouncing it better not giving it away and you know losing that part of me but also like you're the conductor it's not up to other people it's up to you so it's easy when you're in charge to you know that like okay i'm the one who making who's making these decisions ultimately to allow these people into your lives so it's not like you know

you have to defer to somebody else or you have a partner that you're who's doing this. It's you. So even easier to fix. I wonder if there is an opportunity here because you are continually attracted to these people who are horrible. You got to read that book Attached also. That talks all about these kinds of unhealthy attachments. Have you read that? I have it on my audio. Read it. Start it today, please. There might be a way to bring in some reinforcements, whether that's the friend who's been telling you for years, this guy's bad for you. He's awful for you. Get away. Bringing in a friend, bringing in a therapist to be like, okay, here's what I'm experiencing in this new relationship. Is this actually healthy? Is this something I should move

toward or cut off right now or move into the friend zone right now? Yeah. My company has some resources for therapy that I'm going to look into because it's just unacceptable. I can't do it anymore. I mean, it's just been too long. At my age, I don't want to have another one of these pop up. So, yeah, I definitely want to focus on making that not happen again. Yeah. And they're not your responsibility, you know, these other people in the relationship. Yeah, Ramon, go get your act together. I've got faith in you. Thank you. And like I said, this podcast, actually, when I was in the darkest times with this person, helped me get away from it because these conversations that you have with

people and the people you have calling in, it really did help me a lot. So thank you. I'd love to hear that. All right. Well, thanks for calling in, Ramon. Bye, Ramon. We love you, Ramon. Thank you, guys. Oh, Jesus.

Ramon. Yeah. Ramon. Lots of serious stuff, you guys. Serious business. We're running a medical practice here. This is serious shit. I know.

You're doctors. Everyone needs a self-esteem boost. Everybody. Everybody needs like an injection of self-esteem every morning. It is really true. I think we could all use that. I know. I wish I knew what that could be.

I mean, I feel like you come in the room and it's an injection of self-esteem. It's just like you give that to yourself in the morning because you come in the room and it's just like, here I am. I'm present. I don't know. It's big energy in a good way. Thank you. I appreciate that.

You are good energy. Andrew, I think let's take a quick break. Let's do a quickie. Oh, my God. You always interrupt the breaks, Andrew. God. They're so long. Okay, we're going to take a quick break.

Andrew's not going to say anything, and then we'll be right back. The Hard Rock Bet Casino app is here, Ontario. It's safe, secure, and crystal clear with fast payouts and 24-7 local support. You can play over 3,000 games right here, including Hard Rock Bet Casino exclusives. The Hard Rock Bet Casino app is here, Ontario. Roll with us. Must be 19 years of age or older to play. Ontario only. Please play responsibly.

Concerned about your gambling or that of someone close to you? Visit connectsontario.ca. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.

I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. but these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page

are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back! We are back. This one should be an easy one for Andrew. I'm back! I'm back! He's back. Dear Chelsea, I'm 41 and my boyfriend is 26. We met almost two years ago and he was super inexperienced sexually. When we met, we agreed we'd have an open relationship, but so far we've been monogamous. Our sex is very regular, but incredibly vanilla.

I've tried to spice it up, but it's been met with very little enthusiasm. I feel like he needs to experience more dick. A variety of dick. The thing is, I get anxiety when I think about opening him up to others. But I really think it's time to bring this up. What's your advice? You need to go out and get some dick. What's your advice for getting myself comfortable and accepting that this young guy deserves my permission for more penetration? Robert. Andrew? Robert. Robert, no. No? He's 41 and his boyfriend is 26? Yes. And they've been together since his boyfriend was 24. No, get, no, let him go. Set him free. Like totally go. Yeah. Or open, who cares? Just let, yeah, he, let him, I mean, you can't force him to go get

dick, but you can make the suggestion. Yes. No, let him go, Robert. Let him go. Everyone needs to sow their oats. I really am a firm believer of that. I mean, how do you know what you like unless you try tons of different things? Yes, you do a bunch of different stuff and then figure it out. No, Rombert, let him go. How old were you when you lost your virginity, Andrew? I was 16. Are you gold star?

What does that mean? I'm gold star. That means never had sex with a woman. Gold star, but not platinum. Oh, wait, what's platinum? Born via C-section. So never touched a vagina. Never touched a vagina.

Got it. That's good to know. I'm just going to start. Platinum. Wow. Okay, fantastic. What's better than the platinum? Anything?

No. I mean, I don't know. If your mother was a father and you never were even inside a woman's body, well, no, that doesn't make sense because you'd have to, well, no. I have to think that one through. Workshop it. Workshop it. I will.

I'll continue to workshop it. I'm sure it won't offend anybody, me questioning. Right. well we're ready to wrap it up andrew i'm going to encourage everybody to get your book well thank you so much and i can't thank you enough for having me again huge huge fan first time caller but long time listener and man oh man am i a fan of yours and i'm so happy to meet you thanks honey it's so nice to meet you we could end with that should i sing something Of course.

Wait, make sure you guys all get a copy of Uncle of the Year. That's his second book. Andrew's second book. Congratulations on the publication. It's very funny. Everybody grab a copy and read it. You're going to love it. Thank you.

No problem. Have a great day. Thank you. Bye. Bye. And I have just announced new stand updates for my Little Big Bitch Tour, guys. I announced 25 new cities. These are probably a lot of the cities people have been mentioning in the comments.

I start out in East Hampton I go to New York, D.C., Durham, North Carolina L.A., Phoenix, Cleveland, Columbus Pittsburgh, Milwaukee, Chicago, Madison Portland, to name just some I will be performing at the Kennedy Center, everybody that's in D.C., October 6th

I'm super psyched to be performing there Also, I just added second shows in New York D.C., Seattle and San Francisco There are more, I have dates coming up for the next three months and then more dates coming up in the fall So those have all been announced.

They're on my Instagram page. Or you can go to ChelseaHandler.com. Thank you. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. And be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. I survived nine months in captivity.

And I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. Abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements.

We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.

Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.