Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Hole Out, But Classy with Tana Mongeau

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

Internet personality Tana Mongeau joins Chelsea to talk about writing a new chapter for yourself, what happens when a party girl stops drinking, and her new podcast, Brand Safe. Then: A fresh nose job has a transwoman seeking celibacy.  And the hunt for a threesome needs to move out of one caller’s own backyard.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by.

The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and Mighty Tour. In June, I will be in Hyannis, Massachusetts,

and then two shows in Nantucket. in August. You can find me in Red Bank, New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary. That's Canada. And September, I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho, and Spokane. And then in November, I'll be in San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas, babies. I'll be there. And then in December, I am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver.

So get your tickets at ChelseaHandler.com for the High and Mighty Tour. Hello. Hi, Chelsea. Hi. Hi. What's happening? What is happening? You have a different makeup on today.

I do. I never do lip gloss, but I did. and I was like I found myself in the car even though my hair is too short for it to blow into my lip gloss I was like leaning away from the window I'm like this is not I don't know I'm not usually a lip gloss girl I don't know how I feel about lip gloss I I feel the same way but I always put lip balm on I put lip balm yeah yeah yes but gloss is like a little yeah lip gloss ends up getting a lot of to a lot of other places other than your lips yes unfortunately yes it tends to I like a matte finish is how I feel that's how I feel about um aesthetics in general I like a matte

finish do you like to be glammed up like when you're at like a show an award show or are you kind of like you could take it or leave it i could take it or leave it but i do appreciate when i look like at the roast like i loved the way that i looked when i said when i saw videos of that like i was like wow you look really good so when i see myself or like critics choice when i get really glam every once in a while i'm like wow yeah you know like with the hair they'll do something and they add pieces and you look like a completely different person or 10 years younger I'm like I think the volume of hair can really take off age oh for sure so it makes you look fresher more vibrant so I like that but I mean yeah I'm not really one for sitting around getting

my hair and makeup done you're not like a Kris Jenner who's like every morning no I can never do that but then I look at what I create on my own and it's a hot mess so you know I don't know what I don't know I like to be on vacation with a little tan and then I don't have to worry about anything yeah well you know who did arrive looking on point with our guest this week i listen i have to tell you i was so pleased because she pulled up in a bentley and i have a little bit of a thing of like if you're driving your own bentley that's like not how it's supposed to work like if you have a bentley someone should be driving you somebody was driving her bentley she got out of the passenger side and i had to say good job girl yeah good job yeah she's a hot

mess this is great um and her name well she's an influencer she's a former mtv mischief maker and her new podcast is called brand safe which is out now please welcome tana mongeau are we rolling because i want to yeah are you rolling is the question here's the question here's the question i have been mispronouncing this woman's name ever since i met her yes and we're going to tell her og story because it's ridiculous and i've been calling her tana mangano which is close to calling her mongoloid mongano but chelsea can i tell you something i feel like if one day you called me and you were like well you wouldn't call me you'd send me a video and you'd be like high in bed if you called me and you were like hey tana i would be like what did i do

like i'd be like i'd feel in trouble almost right well you would be in trouble if i called you well yeah i mean i would i leave you video which i live for by the way i vlog to you and it's funny because sometimes you'll send me one and i'm like you get that microphone a little bit farther away from your mouth you don't like that i'm sucking it eat it i'm starving are you always i have a banana on the way oh oh she's a banana one but she's allowed to have one banana per day well yeah that's kind of what my conservator tells me you know that i should okay let's get your name it's tana it's tana it's tana but you what i think i again i think that if you really hit me with a tana i would be in trouble okay why do i think it's tana because

I just Chelsea I don't know yeah I told her it's Tana but she thought it was just my pronunciation you know what actually it is though is that phonetically it is Tana like Lana L-A-N-A yeah H-A-N-A would be like right right right you know what I mean so I my parents kind of but I you know they weren't really phonetic people yeah well you don't even talk to your parents at all no okay and if I did I guess I wouldn't really lead with phonics I have a few more issues to kind of unpack, you know? That's good. Okay, so it's Tana Mongeau.

Mongeau. Mongeau. Mongeau. Mongeau. Mongeau. Yes, it's French. It's giving face smashed on keyboard for sure. It's giving a little New Orleans.

Ooh, that hurts me so deeply. French Quarter, New Orleans. Okay, you know what? I'll take that. I used to really hate New Orleans, but I've been- Why? I don't know. I was roofied there a lot.

Oh, well. Like, you know, that'll do it for you. Yeah. I only have fondness, I mean, well, not only, but one of my fond memories of New Orleans is that was when 50 Cent and I accidentally debuted our relationship. I thought you were going to say accidentally dated. I love saying I accidentally dated someone. Well, that was an accident, too. So, I mean, all dating is pretty much an accident.

It really is, honestly. Until you get into, like, the sixth or seventh week of it, and then it becomes intentional. Yes. Like, when you're meeting someone and getting to know them, that is kind of accidental. Yeah, I agree with that. In the beginning, initially. So, were you in the accidental stage with 50 Cent in New Orleans? Yeah. Because he was like, I'll come wherever you are. Where are you going to be? And I was like, I'm going to be in New Orleans. I have a show this weekend and you're welcome to come. But like, you know, I don't, I'm not guaranteeing anything. And so he got a room and he came with his security guard and I said, let's go for a walk on the street. And he was like, I can't do that.

And I was like, let's go for a walk in the street. Like you can do it. And he couldn't do that because we walked outside and it was a fucking shit show. It's so fucked up when you tell me a story because I have to sit and smile like I don't know it. Like I'm not a fucking murderer. And I'm like, oh my God, that's so funny. I totally haven't consumed that like 70,000 times. Let's get to our OG story so people understand our dynamic because it's abusive.

And I just want to say that I'm abusive to her because she's ridiculous. and it's out of love. I wouldn't abuse you if I didn't love you. I know that deeply. I know you know that, but just explaining to anyone who might be a new listener. Yes, but I love, like, even the other day I was talking about that in the car,

and I was like, I find it so sweet, obviously, that you even take the time. And then I know that when you love someone, you'll, like, give them a little bit of shit. That means you're on the good side with you. So it's just, I don't know, it's beautiful. But it did start with me stalking you down. Yeah.

Well, kind of. We were on the same flight. No, you weren't stalking me. Yeah, like, factually, I did just book a ticket on a flight that you were on. But then I got to the airport and I went into psychosis. And I think that's important to talk about.

We were at JetSuite in Vegas because I was coming from a show in Vegas and you were in, we were in the little lounge of JetSuite. Have you flown JetSuite? No, but I know about it. It's the most convenient way to fly. It really is.

Unfortunately, they don't fly everywhere. It's more regional right now, but they do kind of have some flights across country. But you can bring your dog and you can, I'm a spokesperson for JetSuite. I'm your dog. They want to see you.

Anyway, I saw out of the corner of my eye like the age range of a girl that and I saw her reaction that I was like she was like I could tell she was a fan and I was like okay clenching my ass you know and I'm right right and I saw it but I was also it's Vegas it's the morning I'm hungover I'm trying to get out of there you're also not gonna go up to someone and say do you know me are you a fan so I just saw it but I and then she got up and removed herself because I had to I had to like 100% I was like I have to remove myself from this airport right now where I'm going to assault this woman who factually just does not know me you know what I mean I don't know her she doesn't know me I was like assaulting my boyfriend I'm

grabbing his arm I was like let me just walk outside let me take a breath because you just when you're leaving Vegas you're already in a mentality where it's like get me the fuck out of here I feel dirty I feel gross like I don't want to be here and then I walk into the airport and I just look a mess and I'm like oh my god that's my idol like just sitting over there and I was like I don't know just freaking the fuck out well that's really sweet and cute i don't know what you're doing with your leg but you need to get comfortable because this is like up here and moving around so are you like offending the whole scoliosis community okay i apologize to the scoliosis community it's good to just apologize in the moment i've been

learning yeah yeah yeah absolutely i mean i don't know if that explains your sitting but okay we'll go with that i mean i don't even know if i believe you quite frankly i'm speedballing right now also because whenever i see chelsea there is like i have to consume a certain amount of things before i see you what did you take today i started with a red bull so i was like let me wake up let me i was watching some like 11 a.m too it's just like jesus you know that's the only time you would need a red bull to be honest like i'm not having a red bull at five o'clock at night but also i should be awake by 11 a.m i'm just not a morning person right okay you know and then the xanax the quarter bar before i see you every time and honestly to be real with you i could use

another one like it's still not enough i love that you take xanax and are out and about like if i take a xanax i go to bed it gives me energy weirdly which i think says so much about your brain brain chemistry like what do you mean i take a xanax and i'm like cleaning the house it's like if someone takes an adderall and it doesn't impact them it's because wait what is the reason you have adhd if you know yeah if you don't feel anything you have adhd but if you do feel something you yeah if you feel up from it yeah and that means you're just partying on yeah right yes do you like Adderall I don't really I like Adderall but then sometimes I'm like counting my pores and I'm like okay yeah yeah yeah like it's it's meth I don't like to be amped but I've been taking

Celsius I've taken to Celsius I love taking Celsius I've been taking I wanted to say I've taken two Celsius recently I have these little brain energy drinks that I drink that are healthy yeah and but I've started taking like instead of one I've been taking two or three because my engine is like really running low right now in this moment and so i this morning i had a celsius and then i had natural plant-based caffeine yeah and so i am wide awake but also asleep i i call those the sad zoomies uh-huh like where it's like the coffee is coursing through your veins but you're still sad about it and it like still kind of hurts to get my eyes hurt yeah i do my eyes hurt my eyes always hurt i don't i don't think i like being awake but you just point blank period

like my favorite pastime is sleeping uh let me give you some background on tana this is what i know i'm in trouble she is a she is the definition of an influencer you're the ultimate influencer i was gonna say that's really nice but coming from you it also might be like well no i mean i'm just saying it plainly because that's true you have built a career on being an influencer and you've also had like a whole journey i i've given up on not using the word journey because I can't find a replacement word I think journey is pretty accurate I know I just find it to be a little bit corny yeah journey yeah and and like my journey in question is like getting arrested at Coachella it's like kill yourself yeah journey journey does insinuate something yeah grander

so one of the things you're you you stopped drinking and that was a and this is something we have in common so I understand why you feel a kindred spirit with me because I also am a professional drinker i thought you're about to say you stopped drinking no no no i was like i'm relapsing no i'm not i'm not giving up on alcohol we have an understanding and please don't we get each other like the people need it but i understand when when i met you you're like oh i stopped drinking and this is kind of like my not not your whole identity but a big part of who you are and you share a lot of information about your personal life as i have done my entire life and i like that i think that that's very genuine and i think that that's important

because so many people are putting out this kind of like persona of themselves and that's fine if you're an actor and you want your privacy or if you're i don't know i don't know what other fields of interest where you're not you don't necessarily want to be transparent about who you are but i really relate to people who are themselves and who can be in a who could be a hot mess on camera and off you know what i mean because it's not an it's not an act i mean you're a hot mess with or without drinking it's funny because I was just thinking about that too like I mean first of all I'm so happy that I met you in a time of my life that I'm not drinking because I think that my drunk brain would have been like I can keep up with Chelsea and like jaw swinging and I would

have been trying to keep up with you and I would have just like I would have had to kill myself it would have been so embarrassing what I would have done so I definitely am like grateful for that in that regard but still a hot mess for sure I think for a long time I tied my identity so much to like alcohol and I almost had this thought process that if I wasn't partying and having those type of stories that no one would be interested and it like my identity was so tied to it I guess and yes I'm happy to know that I can still bring the hot mess and it's just who I am and I was thinking about that today because in Vegas when I was with you last I packed and I didn't try on my outfit and I brought this skirt and my asshole was just out the entire asshole

out a lot yes like you've seen my asshole more than you haven't and I was like you know what yeah it's not the alcohol like that's just it's me and you're in love now too yes you're yeah you're i mean your instagram is filled with naked pictures of your answer like your skirt comes up to here and not that i'm you know who am i to talk obviously i'm naked all the time too so it's not a judgment yes it's just a clarification yes yeah i think i think people have gathered that for sure i'm definitely naked yeah you're naked and you like it and i do and then what and that's fine why why wouldn't you and i like duality these days you know sometimes it's a turtleneck and sometimes it's whole out and we don't, we don't always know what we're going to get.

Well, like recently you posted a picture, you were like lying on a table at a party, but like you had a napkin covering your behind. So it was like whole out, but keep it classy. Was it a panty liner? No, I think it was like a dirty napkin that I wiped buffalo sauce on like 30 seconds prior. And some things just do. Yeah. They never change. But what does your boyfriend think about you and your behavior? He is truly the most patient person I have ever met. And I definitely have these moments where I'm like radicalized I'm like you should leave me like I put him through and he loves it and I don't know how or why and I think that's where I feel very lucky but he is he's the sound responsible guy who like loves the entertainment of me and it's

even right now I'm like I was fostering a dog I failed I adopted him the dog's pissing everywhere he's like was this really the best idea like and I'm just but I'm like I bring the whimsy yeah yeah you bring the chaos. That's what I tell myself to sleep at night. Well, yeah, the guy I'm dating calls me a sexy tornado. I am so excited. That's honestly an amazing compliment. It is. I like to be a sexy tornado. That's exactly what I was aiming to do in life. Yes. 100%. Yeah. So I feel like you might be in a similar situation because your boyfriend's Hawaiian. So it takes you to Hawaii quite often. Did you just buy a place there? Yes, I did. Yeah. So yeah. And that's, it's so nice to just go there and remember that LA is kind of just this fake bubble and like this,

and love LA for what it is, but like meet people with values and meet people who are just, they're calmer. They're just, I've never had chill a day in my life. I'm from Las Vegas. I moved to LA. Like I'm going a hundred miles a minute. I'm screaming.

My hole is out. Like, you know, just, it's nice to have the calm mixed in. I saw something mini driver posted, just talking about how everyone should go to Hawaii at some point in their life because how peaceful and magical the land is, which is true. Like when you go there,

you do have a feeling that you don't feel elsewhere. like you can't compare Hawaii to another place really that I visited like I agree even though like the topography or like climate would be the same or similar in like Bali it's totally different yes than Hawaii Hawaii you know like all of the stuff is different and Hawaii is singular in that I think like and there's a very healing vibe that you get when you get off the plane in Hawaii and they hand you a lei and you're like am I on the fucking love boat right yes I don't deserve this take the lei off me you know what I mean like give it to someone exactly you're like this must to take in a lot of time and how did you and i'm where yeah and then i'm like and it smells so

fresh and it really sets the tone for your trip yeah and i'm wearing like a buffalo sauce stained aloe hoodie and it's like someone else deserves what do you do with all your lays when you get off the plane i they stop doing it at the airport and they mainly will do it at like resorts and stuff like that but people put them in the fridge they preserve them like i preserved a few i didn't know i was a preserver until i met him until you met him that's another good one and it is just great i mean i think that the thing i love the most about him is how responsible he is and i think that when you are at least when i was writing out a list of things that i wanted in a partner or would find sexy and find attractive my whole life i was never like i want a responsible man like

i think he was everything that i didn't know i needed which is beautiful in that way you know you think you know exactly what you want in a partner and it's almost like we are opposites in a lot of ways but it like works you know there's a yin and a yang that balance out yeah because two hot messes don't work together at all and I think for so long I wanted that and then it's like wait my boyfriend's

like tiktok dancing and cheating on me on snapchat and I that where how did I get here you know do you have fitness and wellness questions well Chelsea's personal trainer Ben Bruno is about to guest on an episode so write in to dearchelseypodcast at gmail.com with all your fitness and wellness questions

Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto-pay credit.

Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.

I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts if your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality welcome home this is prose society the weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for thought daughters pop culture obsessives and anyone who thinks pride

and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse i'm eli rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people,

and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip,

I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I want to talk about your new podcast, which is called Brand Safe. This is actually the first time I'm talking about it. Okay, this is very exciting. So I'm going to throw up. Because you've been talking about this a lot to me personally. We're talking about launching this podcast.

It's called Brand Safe. and you've had you've come from two other successful podcasts one of which you ended one of which you're still doing right yes yes okay so do you want to talk a little bit about those two podcasts at all why you ended one why you decided to start one on your own yeah yeah let's go I mean so canceled is the one that ended and it was like such a magical time I look at it as this like really fucked up scrapbook that I get to show my kids one day and we were just young and part I was partying a lot at least in Los Angeles and kind of coming on and just airing people out like I was definitely a lot crazier in that regard I was going out and I would always say

I was collecting lore you know I was kind of like my Chelsea lately yes you were canceled that's funny because today when we shoot brand safe that was one thing I wanted to talk to you a lot about is just all of the different reinventions and rebirths you've had and how you and if you hold hands with all of these different eras that you've had and stuff because I find that very interesting and that's how I feel now that I'm in this rebirth but I could have never gotten here without that girl and she was very messy and she did a lot of things that I need to make reparations for probably until the day I die right but it was very entertaining and it was an amazing time and then just towards the end of it I did I got sober I fell in love I was talking about green juice and

like my IBS and like I didn't have the interesting chaotic things to bring to the table as much you know and Brooke my co-host same thing she got married and it just it became this like beautiful ending where we ran off into the sunset and it was time to end it you know what I mean and it was just it was also in LA every week it was a different lifestyle like now I'm kind of shooting everywhere and stuff just doing something more I guess on brand with my lifestyle now you know I was holding on to like a version of myself that I needed to you know part ways with well I think that's a natural evolution of somebody who's actually like you know thinking about life instead of just like having life happen yeah oh wow that was really sweet yeah yeah it's true

like we grow up and like if you're not growing up at some point it's not interesting I agree I think and for so long again I was tied to this idea where if I grew or if I was doing anything with substance or intelligence that I was no one would be interested and it got to this point where I was like that's just not true and my fans are amazing for that for showing up for me no matter what and it did it started to feel kind of regressive and repetitive and like just the drama centric stuff also is can be very taxing on your mental health if you're not wanting to stand in the line of fire if you're not wanting to deal with all the discourse and the clips and the commentary and stuff and yeah it came to this like very poetic end and great i still can't shut the fuck up

yeah so here i am continuing so what's the story with your parents god do you have a do you have week I mean just give us the sound bites like no I just read I didn't know like just give me a clip I didn't know this I well I just I didn't know this about you and I was reading your notes and it said you haven't spoken to them since you were 13 and I was like oh or you moved out when you were 13 right yes and I wish I could have fucking moved out when I was 13 I wanted to move out when I was six that is why I resonate with you so hard I think that when you speak even about like your thoughts as a child especially in this last book you did a lot of that you know what I mean you talk about how you knew you were destined for first class you were destined for a different

life that they weren't going to necessarily do it for you and you knew that from a very young age which I feel like a lot of people don't necessarily grow up like that there is they have much more naivety to their childhood you know and I feel like I was very similar to you in that regard where I woke up in this world I was born into it and I was like oh you people are yeah I would get like the idea that your parents are like I've definitely never felt unsafe in my home you know it wasn't like that but the idea that my parents were the ones that were going to take care of me was ludicrous like I was like this is not a possibility exactly Chelsea and I think that is the difference I think my home was also a very unsafe home it was very turbulent in a lot of ways

I mean my dad was in the Vietnam War he had a lot of PTSD they were both older born in the 50s just very out of touch and with everything and my mom was very depressed and just the the I hate to call the common case of a victim of lots of failed abusive relationships but that's what it was you know and yeah from a very young age I knew like this is just not gonna fit you know and my best friend's family was very kind to start taking me in from 13 on and just giving me the good meal on the table showing me that a holiday is something you should celebrate showing me that there can be happy moments and that love is unconditional my parents were also extreme narcissists and narcissistic abuse is also just very hard to go through because you're never

going to get the accountability or the apology or the resolution yes exactly and it eventually got to a point I think where it just continued to snowball and I realized I was because I spent a lot of my childhood I guess trying to make them into something better like hoping living on this edge of hope that they would wake up one day and grow and eventually it was just like this isn't going to happen and I have to go no contact for my mental health that was right after they sued me that was kind of like a big catalyst what did they sue you for slander and defamation it was you were talking about them publicly yes and I had had an MTV show and on the reality show I was kind of detailing what my childhood was like and that was super hard for me because I was like

not only was I telling the truth I was telling one one thousandth of the truth you know so it was it was a cash grab and it was one of those things where it was like and that was just the thousandth time where that was all I felt like you know what I mean was a check to them and you know they wanted to take credit for all of my success and we made you and if anything everything I was was to spite them for so long and was to be nothing like them I guess you know and yeah eventually it had to be no contact just for my mental health for you and thank you I think so many people you know they want to argue that right because they don't understand they want to be like but it's your blood and it's your parents and I always just try to tell people it's like if someone is no contact

with their family it means they have tried everything like that's never it's not option one you know what I mean you try and you try and you try and you fail and I don't know now I finally made a lot of peace with that I think for a while I was drinking about that I think for a while I was angry and I think I got to a full point of just empathy that they weren't that generation too like mental health was not a thing for their generation and just so many different things it's just also a nice lesson to talk about and to think about because you've got me thinking about all the different ways in which you can find parents in life it's so true and like mothers parents like I feel like I mother a lot of young people in my life happily like I love it I want to you know

like I want to be a big sister or however these girls in my life see me is like I want to be there and like fill in the gaps because I know so many people who have parented me that are not my parents. And my siblings very much so parented me growing up. And it's like, it can come from anywhere. And it's very nice to be able to, because it's such a struggle to let go of the expectation of your parents treating you the way that you see other parents treat their children in happy homes. Speak that truth, Chelsea. It's very true. I mean, I think that I always describe it as a void that I eventually had to make friends with, right? Like I think for so long, it was this void that I was trying to fill and I was just trying to fill it and fill it and fill

it but it was endless you know and eventually it was like yes if right now I walked outside and I saw a dad teaching his little girl on a bike I'm going to be like I was robbed of that I never got that there's still going to be moments where I'm aware of that and the void but I think that the peace came from stopping trying to fill it and you know being grateful for the things that I had in other avenues and the people who did step in even when you text me and you call me oopsie or you call me poopsie. And I know what that means to you. Like, I'm so grateful for all of the people in my life who have stepped up and shown me love and someone I can look up to and just family and just all the different things, you know, I feel so blessed. And I always try to be the poster child

for that to like, you know, for the girls out there who are like, I'm going no contact. I'm like, you will find a new normal that fulfills you. Yeah. What is one of the things that you've learned about yourself that you're really proud of through getting sober like I'm sure you're really proud of that right yeah and for so long I think I couldn't even I was so self-deprecating and I think that a lot of times to the the world wanted to be deprecating me the world wanted to be kind of saying these awful things about me so I almost was living in this mindset where it's like I'm gonna get to it before them you know what I mean I'm gonna get to the self-deprecating punchline before them and it was it ended up obviously and then with the drugs and the alcohol

and all of that spiraling into a lot of self-hatred. And this is kind of the first time in my life where I'm like, I might still be a little messy, but I can be a role model. And I am proud of myself. And I am resilient as fuck. And I did like build all of this for myself with no fucking help.

I made it out of, I was dealt the shittiest fucking hand ever. And you lived in Vegas growing up. I knew the Texas Holder hands before I knew the ABCs. Like, come on. Growing up in Vegas is something that I find unfathomable. I read Andre Agassi's book. I don't know.

Have you ever read that book? No, but I will now. He grew up in Vegas. And I just, I found that book to be so depressing. Well, on so many levels, because his father forced him to be a tennis player when he didn't want to. And like bought a house and built a tennis court in the back. But Vegas just is like to me, and I guess, you know, I don't live there. So I don't know.

And I can't speak from experience. But it just seems dire. no you hit the nail on the head chelsea i think by six years old i was like why the fuck are we raising kids here you know what i mean as a child i was well aware because right obviously there are nice enclaves right there are the children who were born in summerlin and they played tennis their whole life and they'd go out to the desert and they went on family trips to california i'm sure they had a great fucking life okay but the rest of us who were living in poverty in las vegas it is dark I think it's a city that runs on like sex and money and alcohol and all of the dark

things in the world I think I really a lot of even in writing my book right now I'm almost writing about how my morals were this reverse thing like I was taught horrible morals and I was taught that like you get what you want by lying and manipulating and scamming and like just all of these things you know what I mean and that addiction and substances and that was all normal to cope and it was almost my life has been this big thing of unlearning what being brought up in that environment taught me I guess did you have siblings no no only child yeah even more depressing so depressing and that was that's why I'm so grateful for Amari my best friend because you know they he taught me what a sibling is and they taught me what sibling love is and yeah I imagine

that my life would be entirely different if I had a sibling you know if I had someone to be like are you fucking seeing this shit yeah because that's what the thing is about siblings I think and I I heard Gabor Maté or he's this Canadian psychologist and he talks about like no two siblings have the same experience. And I would argue against that. Like my brothers and sisters commiserate all the time about what it was like. They're, they're the only other people that know exactly what it was like growing up in my household, which was like, we, we all had a different set of parents because we were different ages, but we all had the same set of circumstances. Yes. And it was ridiculous. Like, you know, they didn't pick us up. They like, they, you know,

there was never going to be like breakfast on the table like you know there was just like everyone fend for yourself and and it's a nice like it's a nice bond to know you know because and also as we age you kind of become the opposite or the same of what you grew up with yeah mine was immediately like i am first of all i need a housekeeper like you guys are we need a cleaning lady we need a housekeeper and i need her to live with me and you know what i mean like that was the first thing that I needed I needed a brand new car because my dad was a used car dealer I'm like I'm never driving a used car once I have enough money like I relatable like it was just all the things that I found to be an ick were it do you feel like some of your siblings ended up being

more similar my sister's a little bit yeah I have I have two I have a brother and a sister who are a little bit more like scrappy you know they're just kind of like hustlers I mean we're all hustlers I'm a hustler for sure, but they hustle in a way that is just kind of like smacking things together and like, you know, on the move kind of fast and loose. And I'm just like, I have that too, but I, it's mine is a little bit more like I have standards of operation and they're up here. You know what I mean? There's gotta be a level of standard of operation for me.

Like I don't like anything below that standard, but I love that, especially as I get older. I'm like, I don't have time for that. You know what I mean? I'm too fucking busy. i don't have time for it and i have no problem saying i have no time for it i but i i think that if a man did it no one would blink and you have been the person that has spearheaded that you've always been that way you know what i mean you you know what you want and you're gonna go get it and you're not gonna fucking apologize for it which right it's so inspiring it really is so what do

you like when you think about this new podcast and like you know like what what do you have in mind like what do you want to do what do you want to accomplish i think that calling it brand safe obviously there's some irony there of course like you're not safe yes at all no one's safe but at the same time i am in this new era where i care and sometimes i understand that maybe i don't need to say the crazy thing that's going to get me in a bunch of trouble and i'm you know what i mean i'm working with companies because they're less disgusted with associating with me and i think that what i want to do with brand safe really is i want to have a lot of conversations that i've never gotten to have online I want people to almost feel like they're in my phone and they're

in my group chat and while you are a powerhouse and a celebrity and amazing and you are coming on today as my first guest I'm not just trying to have a bunch of back-to-back big names and stuff I think I want to talk to almost similar to life will be the death of me the way that you really dove into talking to like psychologists and therapists and all those things I want to do that I want to have my best friends on and I want to just have the conversations that we have in bed and just bring people almost even closer into my life. I've been filming a lot of them in Hawaii where I'm just talking about childhood,

talking about dating. It's almost like I spent so much time gathering this lore and falling down and now I finally have stood up and I want to use what I've learned to help the girlies know that they too can wake up one day and say, I'm brand safe now.

And they can wake up one day and reinvent in any way they want even if people perceive them differently. That you can carve out your own path and I'm so brand safe now. Yeah, yeah, that's so true. We have so many similarities in our, like, you know, direction, trajectory, that's the word.

That's the word that could replace journey. Trajectory is better. Yeah, that's better, that's better. Because we are, we have, like, it's very analogous. Like, the partying, da-da-da, realizing how you're coming across, feeling a little bit harsh about how you come across, feeling a little bit like, okay,

maybe I need to, like, pump the brakes on this. Like, I totally relate to all of that and I think that's a very natural thing for anybody in their twenties and thirties to be thinking about, you know, and to see people on the other side of it and to see people like going through the pain of, it's not a breakup with yourself because it's a different version of yourself, but in a sense you are kind of breaking with your past. And some people get uncomfortable with that. You know, some fans get uncomfortable with that. I was just at this dinner the other night and as this woman who's pretty famous

producer she came up to me at this dinner and I've known her over the years we've always been cordial and whatever but I don't know her well and she came up to me and she sat down next to me and she's like I just want to let you know that like I have seen so many changes in you over the course of like the last five ten years she goes it's really beautiful like you've really come into your own and you're just like a total solid like sister woman I know we have a ton of mutual friends and I just know like I used to be scared of you this is a woman who like runs hollywood by the way so the fact that she's telling me i she used to be scared of me i'm like what are you fucking talking about how iconic she's like but i used to be just you were just not

you know like not not easy to be around or it's like i was scared to be around you not scared of you but like scared to be around you i relate unsafe maybe you know i've never heard that before people are like i feel unsafe around jelsea yes and i'm like what do you think i'm gonna do and they're like i we don't know what you're gonna do that's what that's what's so scary I couldn't relate more and it is yeah it's really nice I feel like I've been getting a lot of that lately too and you're right it's not it's not a breakup but it is it is a rebirth and I was I was equating it this is so Hawaiian of me but like I felt like I was like a crab who like lost this shell it doesn't fit anymore and I'm like kind of looking for my new one that fits you know

and then that transitional period in between those two it can be really naked yeah it's quite uncomfortable because you're kind of trying on your different versions of yourself yes as I've said before that, and you're like, is this anyone, do I like me? And then there's a period also of self-consciousness that I had never experienced before therapy. I became super self-conscious for about four, three to four years. And I didn't like that feeling at all. And I was like, is this how I am now? And it's, it finally subsided. It went away. I am no longer self-conscious because I was like, shit, I don't like this. And this is how most people I think feel, you know, when people always say like, why are you so confident? I'm like, I don't know. I'm just

this way. Yes. I don't have like an elixir, but I mean, I can try and help you. But when I felt that way for a few years, I was like, oh, this isn't, this is an uncomfortable feeling. Yeah. That's what it was. Second guessing your interactions and thinking, overthinking about what you said, how you said it. Whereas before I would just say something and fucking forget about it for two years and then find out five years later i totally offended somebody chelsea i literally i couldn't agree with something more because it was like i think i lived my life up until the past three years not even knowing what the word anxiety meant and like sometimes i will look back and almost romanticize that you know it's like it's awful and you are making reparations

forever and you're saying all the crazy things and stuff but anxiety and i had never met you know what i mean i was just living no holds barred going 100 miles per hour it didn't fucking matter who I pissed off it didn't fucking matter what I said like either I'd drink it away or I would just keep doing it it didn't matter and then it was like almost across this transitional phase I did start to be like oh my god I need to think before I speak and then almost over correcting I think there was a second where I swung the pendulum so far and I'm like okay I'm acting like fucking mother Mary like I don't it doesn't need to be that you know what I mean you you are opinionated and you are loud and it's like it's finding this this middle ground and there is a

lot of anxiety and perception and thinking about all of your past selves and like I guess almost regret as well like it's it's balancing all these things out you know and it's it is an anxious period but yeah yeah I love that I love that okay we're gonna take a break and we'll be right back with Tana Mongeau behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay

credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming.

They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.

I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place.

Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B.

I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here.

It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind or wake up to a new version of yourself so whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip i hope you listen to solita on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and we're back you guys with tana perfect it honestly makes me so uncomfortable like because i'm so even in vegas you're like

Tana, get over here. And I just, I can't wait to unpack that trip on my podcast. That was when I met Cowboy. So that's what I wanted to know is if it was that trip or the trip after. It was the trip you were, because we stayed the night after. Remember? Yes. Karen, my assistant, was with us and that whole group of girls.

Yes. And we went. We went to Alanis. Yeah, and then we went to Alanis. I'm a murderer. And then after Alanis, I went back to the casino because all those girls had lost my money. I lost like three grand. Including me.

I lost your money. That's okay, but that's what it's for. And then I came back the next night. I was like, let me go win that money back. I know I can win. And so I went back with my friend Terrence from New York. And you met Terrence too, right? Was Terrence the guy you were absolutely hazing?

You kept telling him to get up because he was bad luck? Oh, no, that was someone else. Like this poor man just trying to gamble. And Chelsea's like, get the fuck out of my face. Someone else needs to be in your fucking seat. but it's also you have this like cunty power where when you're not the person being hazed by her you're like oh my god you feel like her little teacup chihuahua you're like yeah get him he was throwing the table off it wasn't terrence i don't think it was some other guy but i can't remember

who it was but he was throwing the table off because he didn't know how to gamble and i was like just get out of here um so funny but the next night when i did that was the night i met cowboy so you were there so you were there with me so your energy helped me that makes me so fucking happy I want to hear all about this too you guys are very cute by the way thank you like just such an attractive couple together you should have seen us in Istanbul together everyone we would walk down the street and people would be like Hollywood Hollywood I mean they don't they don't have that accent but they were screaming Hollywood and I was like god we really stand out like two sore thumbs and it's like well because no one is blonde there you think he's here to stay oh no I don't

think anyone is here to stay but I I assume that he is a man who kind of owns that and like knows knows how you operate and is yeah he knows he's definitely seeing how I operate and he knows it could be over in a second but I think I think that's hot too when someone can kind of be like I know that but I'm here I'm here for the ride exactly and I'm down yeah and I mean I always ask you about this like we know that you I don't know I don't want to say you don't love not monogamy but like you're not looking for like long-term forever partner I mean I'm not opposed to monogamy like if I'm in a relationship it's not like I'm having if I'm in a relationship that's defined as a relationship like we're seeing each other yeah it's not like i have to go fuck a bunch

of other guys yeah but if i'm casually sauntering throughout the world and meeting people in different places those aren't relationships those are casual encounters yes and even if i see somebody a couple cowboy cowboy i'm seeing cowboy right now that's exclusive but but i mean that's about all i can really fucking handle and it's long distance which is my favorite i like long distance yes you need distance yeah I need distance and everyone needs distance from me as well when I'm working and when I'm here in town I don't I don't have time for any fucking distraction like I really don't I just want to hit the ground running get all my shit in a row so that I can go and relax where does he live he lives in Florida so that's a big problem and why have you gone to

Florida no do you think across the duration of this relationship you will even ever set foot in his parts it's unlikely yes but possible is it like a Tampa like sad sad or I don't want to say I don't even want to say where it is I don't love Florida yeah my feelings about Florida have nothing to do with Floridians they have to do with the politics of the state and for some reason even though there are states that are commensurate or worse than Florida Florida sticks out to be like a sore thumb of just dysfunction they're burning books I hate all that shit I hate the politics I hate DeSantis Texas I feel like is a hopeful place like Texas I feel like we can flip yeah at some point and that's why I still fuck with Texas no Florida's staying the same Florida

is just not open carry I don't like that I don't like yeah I just even the Miami of it all like those people those men especially like it is just it's lawless in the worst way what about your guy is he permanent is it what permanent like am i are you engaged um i'm not engaged would you get engaged i would get engaged he's pretty permanent to me yes he is honestly i i think that i used to very much so be a grass is always greener type of girl one foot in the door one foot out the door with a lot of people and when i really look at him when i really put it all out on paper and lord knows i have like i'm making a venn diagram i'm trying to convince myself and like whatever i when i really put it all out there i don't think i would ever find anyone better and i think that

That's like, that's what it is for me. You know what I mean? I'm like, you're the best and I fucking love you. And so do you think you'll get married? Honestly? Yes. I think that it'll be Tana style. It'll be like a Vegas.

I have to be there for your wedding. I would be so excited. I think I'll invite you to the Hawaii one. Cause I think the Vegas one would just gross you out. Yeah. I think so too. It would make you really sad. Yeah.

My actions across the board. It's like, okay, we just got married. Can we go gamble? Like that's going to be my energy for that one. Well, that's fine. I'll come for the gambling part. Yeah, that's true. Okay, well, that's really sweet.

I'm happy for you. I'm happy for you. Well, thank you. And I feel like even to see you've been sending me so many cute photos of you guys and stuff, you're very like proud of this relationship, which I love to see. Well, I like to be representative of what, I like to be honest about what's happening in my life. So like, I didn't hard launch a relationship.

I just was throwing in pictures of him in my carousels because that's somebody I was spending a lot of time with. So I also find it weird when like you, you know, like to go on a trip with somebody for two weeks and then post 20 pictures of yourself alone without the person is kind of a big fuck you yeah do you know what i mean and so like i i don't i'm not trying to like people are like well didn't you learn your lesson with joe coy no i didn't learn my lesson because i'm gonna be honest about my life i love that as well i don't care if we break up that's that's then we break up that doesn't matter about you know what i mean i really like that energy i feel like i see a lot

in this space people have one bad public or not even bad just public breakup and they write it all off forever and it's like I don't know I could never do that so I guess I resonate more with your side like I'm I suck at keeping things to myself yeah you know and I'm not I don't take things so seriously that I can't share them yeah it's a relationship it's like it may last it may not yeah who knows we'll find out what do you like the most about him what's like what is he has a great voice and I love that I like a real strong male voice yeah deep voice haven't you met him no no not yet oh okay how do you two know each other too not internet chocolate singles.com i love that yeah we were both looking for black men i'm gonna tell people that's where we met

honestly yeah well you should actually they'd probably fucking believe you yeah um what were we saying oh what i like about it i mean you know i don't know there's a lot of a like about him he's very gentle he's a gentleman and i was like i was pretty grossed out by men i have to say straight men in general have been pretty disappointing of late and this whole political backdrop is just representative of where men have fallen short by not protecting our rights not protecting the people's like you know rights that don't impact them directly lgbtq trans black you know people of color like white guys just seem to not know how to like organize on behalf of other people yes because their rights are never really infringed upon and you're like hello so it was

very refreshing for me to meet a man that saw me and I was a hot mess the night he saw me too. I was stoned and drunk and gambling and running that table. When we left there, there was a line waiting at that blackjack table because we had turned it into a fucking gold wine. I was betting, I was splitting

twos against a king and winning. I was like, watch this. And the attitude you get, it's a birthday attitude. I was watching Kimmel and he was saying, I was telling him the story because he didn't know I, you know, I was seeing someone and then it came up about the travels. he's like who'd you go away with and i told him the story about how i met him and he goes you

honestly sound like james bond he's like you sound like a female james bond and i was like that's really fucking funny yeah um but yeah i like that he can take it because it's a lot i'm a lot i'm not i'm like you like yes good good luck if you agree with me good fucking luck and i think i i don't know if you ever i don't know if you relate to this but like a lot of times in relationships i was trying to be a little bit different or just like maybe dial it back a little bit and then it was like this person is not falling in love with me and then it's like i'm resenting them for that but i caused that and i hate being fraudulent like i when i'm not real i'm like you're gross like i hate the fake voice i hate fake i agree enthusiasm i hate i just want to be real and like

so it's nice to be with someone and be real and be like yeah i'm a bitch too yes also like know that they are they're in it for all of that yeah i'm moody sometimes it's gonna be good and sometimes it's gonna not be great so that's important to know cowboy yeah giddy up yeah all right so let's get to the advice portion yes yes our first question comes from naomi and she says naomi campbell it is in fact she's always asking for advice she always needs some help uh so she is 32 and says dear chelsea late last year i underwent full nasal reconstruction to correct poor technique from my previous nose job. Leading up to the surgery, I was very sexually active, driven by a place of scarcity and a fear of being alone. As a trans woman, I've grown accustomed to the

mindset that I'm only valued for sex and that love is scarce due to the discrimination women like myself often experience. I can't recall the last time I chose a period of abstinence to focus on myself, but I feel that this healing period is the right time. I found myself falling into promiscuity as part of my identity due to a deep need for intimacy in the past. This has also led me to endure toxic men, yet I continued to pursue them. My question for you is this. How do you cope with loneliness when you choose abstinence to focus on self-healing? What benefits can come from taking a break from men to heal one's broken parts? It feels like it will take forever to heal and I don't want to be alone. Please feel free to be direct and honest. Your insights mean a lot to

with lots of love and a bandaged nose, Naomi. Hi, Naomi. Hi, how are you guys? We're great. This is Tana Mongeau. Hi. She's our special guest. Hi, Tana.

Hi. First of all, I just want to say- Sorry for the barking. You're fine. Normally, I'm barking, so I'm coughing usually. That was also just so profound, so well-written. It was. I mean, first of all, I love that you're thinking about all of these things

because you have such a huge opportunity right now by taking a break and being abstinent and actually like looking into yourself for self-love. Like that is exactly what every woman should be doing at a certain point in her life. And this is your point. This is a huge growth opportunity. You're gonna have like a really good time by yourself.

Being alone doesn't mean that you're lonely. You can start all these new like habits and patterns that are gonna set you up for success for the rest of your life. You know, you can wake up every day. And first of all, you should be writing down what you're experiencing through this and writing down your commitment to yourself, reminding yourself each day, I am committed to being alone and providing myself with the love I need to be a loving individual in a relationship in the future. That's what you're doing. You're investing in yourself during this period of time. And that's, it is a completely winning situation for you. nobody's going to come in and fuck your shit up you're there to like restore and like sanctify the person that you are so that you become a tree that no one is able to push around or push over that's the goal you're also going to enter whatever does eventually happen next i thought

you're going to say aries rising you're also about to enter this is a psychic reading you're about to enter an aries my own never will i ever but you're whatever you do eventually enter you'll enter as a completely different person therefore attracting completely different people therefore garnering new experiences hopefully more positive ones because of all of the self-work and the level of toleration that you will now have you know you're not going to be so tolerant of people's bullshit or just wanting a sexual identity from you and stuff I think that the tree analogy is Chelsea really hit the nail on the head there you know you're going to be someone that no one can fuck with because of this period of time thank you I really appreciate that it's

really hard to cope with being lonely when you're, like I said, when you're trans and you want affection and love. And then I don't know, it's, it's difficult. You know what I mean? I don't know what you mean because I'm not trans, but I understand the concept of loneliness and I don't want to pretend that I can experience what you've experienced, but I will say to you, like, you're not the only person that feels lonely. You're not alone. And I think that you should a like what practices do you have set in place today like what do you journal do you have a gratitude journal like do you meditate what do you do i actually do stand-up comedy to help i laugh at myself all the time i say having a nose job is a jewish rite of passage and

you know i i'm able to find catharsis in that that's great whenever i'm joking about like you know what i mean yeah and i think you can add some things that's awesome first of all that's fucking hard to do stand up it takes a lot of balls I know and Tana don't you do stand up too I'm trying I'm trying and even that's she's right like you are doing something that is so hard to do that so many people can't do and I hope that you start to find community in that as well and the amount of people in the audience and stuff that just make you feel seen and are grateful that you're there because hearing you say I'm lonely I also just want to be like we are our words right and the more that you are driving home I'm lonely I'm lonely I'm lonely of

course you are believing that you know what I mean whereas Chelsea's has such a good point where it's like this might be a period of your life that you are navigating more alone than you've ever navigated any other period of your life but you're also filling your time in such a good way you're also filling your time with the passion that you have and you're also like maybe trying to make friends in that community and you know putting forth actions to build a future for yourself where you feel less alone and I think the second you stop saying I'm lonely I'm lonely I'm lonely and you start saying like I'm a fucking powerhouse I don't need anybody but I'm going out to do my own thing and I'm building a less lonely life for myself you will start to believe that more and

more like unfortunately some periods of our life are kind of lying to ourselves I think that's I think that's great what she just said is so beautiful you are building a reservoir do you know the analogy that Brene Brown talks about with the marble jar she talks about friendships and like when you have a relationship with someone like say you know me and my sister we have so many marbles in the marble jar that it would take something really crazy to take any marbles out there's so many there that even if something terrible happened only a couple marbles would be taken out and I would it would still be forgivable you know what I mean like we would still be together because we've we've invested so much into each other there's been so many

exchange of marbles. I want you to like, think of that about yourself. Like every day that you spend alone, first of all, you should wake up and write down. I love myself. I am incredible. I am capable. I am building a better life for myself. I am going to be grateful for this time that I have alone, or I am grateful. Just start saying it like in the present, everything that you're grateful for. And you, I have a gratitude journal in my phone that pops up every morning a night. And sometimes I don't do it, but I usually do. And it is a nice reset. It takes five minutes, but it's a nice thing to write down three or four things that you're grateful for each day to look outside and be like, I'm grateful for the weather. I'm grateful for that tree that I get

to look out out, you know, that's behind you. I don't know if that is a tree or maybe that's your hair. I can't tell, but it's my hair. Oh, okay. Well, be grateful for your hair, you know, be grateful for all of the little things that we don't kind of take into account. This is the part of like a human experience is to really, really focus on the stuff that you have the time to focus on the stuff that we don't pay attention to every day. So huge opportunity for you. Like this is beautiful and this can be transcendent for you. So I do want you to develop and like get into patterns that you aren't in yet. You know, I think you should try to meditate. I think you should download the calm app and, and just do five to 10 minutes a morning, whether you like it

or not just commit to it and do that for like at least 30 days and just see how you feel journal about it after you don't have to sit there journaling for two hours every day but just say okay I just meditated I didn't feel anything I'm going to try again tomorrow I just meditated I still don't feel anything I'm gonna try again whatever it is or I just meditated I felt something I'm not sure what I felt but I'm gonna try again tomorrow start to set patterns up for yourself. They may seem stupid or trivial or like it's not going to have an impact or if you try it a couple times and you don't feel something significant you're going to get like oh no you need to commit to yourself right now. You know like I want you to do all of these new habits

whatever three you choose whether it's journaling like do a gratitude thing in the morning a meditation and something at night where you're like thank you so much for this day this is what I learned. This is something I want to remember about today. That's one of the prompts in my gratitude journal says, what is something you want to remember for today? And I always make me think, Oh yeah, show up, you know, whatever it is like, yeah, I showed up for this when I wasn't in the mood or I removed myself from the situation when I wasn't in the mood. Like something I learned that helped me today. Reading for me is always a good resetter. If I could sit down and read for an hour, you know, get some books and fucking read some books to get yourself out of

your own head and into someone else's story also i will just say looking at you you are absolutely beautiful okay you are already a new bitch with the new nose okay but you are you are genuinely about to be in so many ways and like chelsea said i i can't relate to your scenario specifically but what i will say is my best friend in the world she's trans and i watched her go through something really really similar to you where she was kind of leaning into the promiscuous nature and then therefore she was attracting people who were only attracted to that and she it felt very transactional and she was leaving these situations feeling either unsafe or just lower about herself etc and then I watched her do the same thing where she was like I'm cutting off anyone on this low

vibration who just wants me for this I'm gonna be lonely until I have to be lonely she worked on her business that's where the stand-up comes in she worked on things she was passionate about and she met this man that I would die for he is so incredibly just kind accepting funny smart he's proud of her in every room and she never thought she would you know and it was the second she became this person where she believed she deserved that and she set these boundaries and these standards there it was all along but she was never going to attract that person on that low vibration you know so I just want to say I've seen it personally and I believe in you to do it I really do thank you yeah yeah okay Naomi that doesn't mean I'm not gonna have anything like in the

future right what do you mean like like hookups and getting together with guys and girl you were about you're about to levitate in ways you never knew are you kidding me I think and you'll see how much more fulfilling it is I think I had a lot of transactional sex in my life as well when I was finally like making love to someone and like knew that they cared about me more as more than just a set of holes I was like wow this is this is amazing I think that is the difference you go from fucking to making love which is a kind of corny thing to say but it's true it's the worst thing ever to say but also like you're levitating I promise yeah yeah you are like you are investing in this time that you're spending right now you are investing in your future self and you start

to look back at all the times where you were just giving your energy away to these lizards and you're like, oh my God, I'm so happy that this energy exchange now is mutual and valid and I'm not going to look back one day with like disdain and disgust at it, you know? Yeah. And Naomi, I also want to say you have value for who you are, regardless of them placing value on you,

you have value because of who you are. So I want you to be telling yourself that as well. Thank you guys so much. And Chelsea, I'll see you in Chicago in April. I'm so excited. Oh, awesome. I love that. Okay, great.

I'll see you then. You're going to die. She's the best. Keep us posted, okay, Naomi? Thank you. I will. Thank you guys so much again. Okay, love you, Naomi.

Bye, gorgeous. Love you too, Tana. Bye. Love you. Okay, we're going to take a break and we'll be right back. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite?

Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters,

pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right

place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies

you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip i hope you listen to solita on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts okay and we're back with tana okay we have a question about um putting your job to become an astrologer or threesomes threesomes i also pick three of course all right This one's just an email, but Natasha says, Dear Chelsea, I'm struggling a little with my desire for sex. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years, and while our relationship

is amazing and the sex is great, I find myself wanting it more often than he does. Recently, after kissing a few girls, I've been in the mood for a threesome. I know my boyfriend is open to the idea, but I'm unsure the best approach regarding the person and setting. Should we consider someone unknown, like meeting someone on vacation, or is it better to choose someone we know, perhaps a neighbor or someone we meet at a bar in the city. I'm particularly concerned about finding a situation that won't jeopardize our relationship. Not a neighbor. I literally, that's not a neighbor. Dear God, not a neighbor. You're going to hate getting the mail.

Any advice you could offer would be great, Natasha. I like threesomes too. And I think you should go and find someone at a bar and have it be like an anonymous person and just see if you're up for that or like if they're up for that you know and you guys have to like do that together so that there's trust and like understand what the situation is before you go into it make sure that you guys are like spelling out the boundaries for each other I also think the anonymity of the person kind of does create a more secure foundation yeah you always hear the stories of it being the neighbor and the co-worker and then there's problems and I'm not sitting here I don't know your man he might be amazing you know what I mean but just still I think that the safest route is

the anonymity right yep yeah yeah yeah someone you never have to see again if you don't want to yes exactly and then you just decide how you like that experience and what you learned from it together and if it was fulfilling or if it was just like a fantasy but like there's nothing wrong with a threesome like there's I don't have any judgment towards that like I get it all right go for it Natasha and it's also sexy you know it's kind of sexy yeah and like that kind of there's no harm in trying something and then deciding that you don't like it but the spelling out of boundaries is also so important you know all right tana i love you her new solo podcast is called brand safe it'll be out when this is on you please go listen to it where do people listen

to it youtube spotify apple music it's going to be everywhere and i'm so excited to have you on today you're my first guest yeah i am so so so excited we're going where are we going i don't fucking know yeah i mean either to be honest with you okay well great i love you and i'm so happy you're here and I'm so happy I met you in Burbank or even though I didn't meet oh the best part about this story is I so we didn't even meet then we'll start and end with this yes yes because we didn't even meet then because I got home I have a publicity team a PR team my favorite people in the fucking world and Paul and Alec are two gay guys who work on my PR team you need gays on a PR team of course and they're young so they are always with it they understand what's going on

And they were like, oh my God, this woman, you were posting stories about seeing me at the airport. And they're like, this girl, Tana, she's like a huge influencer. Chelsea, you would love her. She like loves you. And she's posting about you. She's crying. She's got hysterical.

Because I didn't know if I made the biggest mistake. I ultimately decided because also I felt like it was so interesting, just karmically, universally our seats weren't like next to each other. Like just, we both booked them. And then like Chelsea's in this seat. I'm in this seat. It's a jet suite plane. we are like this Starbucks cup is what fits in between us like we are so close in proximity and

then ultimately I decided I feel like I parasocially know Chelsea Handler pretty well I know I don't think that she would live for this that she would that she is like yes it's nighttime we're on this plane like please bother me like I know that and I was like if it's meant to be it will be and then I went home and obviously I can't shut my trap so I made 50 TikToks about it because I thought that would be the end of it my best friend even texted me on the way here and he was just like how cool is it that like you go tell you on that plane that like you would get to have a day like today and i appreciate you're a busy woman you're a powerhouse you don't have to do the things you do and i think that's what makes it so special is like knowing you don't have to text me at 3 a.m

a hilarious video about your day you don't have to you know what i mean give me all this advice walking through life you don't have to have a whole podcast day with me but you do it anyways and that's who you are so thank you baby thank you okay that's enough that's enough about me if you want advice from chelsea write into dear chelsea podcast at gmail.com dear chelsea is a production of iheart media follow chelsea on all socials at chelsea handler and find katherine on tiktok at flash cadabra dear chelsea is edited and engineered by brandon dickert executive producer katherine law find full video episodes and minisodes now on netflix and get tickets to see chelsea live at chelsea handler.com

I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the Survivor Files every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the Survivor files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.

Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by kristin bell josh gad and adina menzel i auditioned for frozen what for kristoff they said okay what are you going to be singing today i said i don't know that must have been why you didn't get it Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh...

No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B.

I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.