Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - How Much Sunshine Are You Spreading? With Minnie Driver

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

Minnie Driver joins Chelsea to discuss fake engagements, finding your way through grief, allowing for different opinions, and the impermanence of everything.  Then: A girlfriend struggles to co-parent with her boyfriend’s ex.  A writer worries that she’ll cringe when she looks back on the beliefs of her past. And a best friend wonders if a formal breakup is needed when there’s nothing left to say.  *Executive Producer Nick StumpfProduced by Catherine LawEdited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert*****The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors

who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality,

welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the Internet and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by.

Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Well, you probably won.

Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us.

Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. okay joe are we rolling we are rolling fantastic ladies and gentlemen please welcome chelsea handler thank you joe check one check two hi chelsea stop it and uh here's your he is so hard up to be like here's your uh here's your script i got it thank you got it have fun enjoy you guys i'll be right over here okay thanks

Hi guys. Hi. I like want to call him your pal Friday since he helped with setup today. I know he is. He's my little, my girl Friday, honey. Good afternoon. Good morning and good evening. This is Chelsea Handler on the podcast called Dear Chelsea. And I'm here with my producer, Catherine. Hi Catherine. Hi. How are you? Hi. I think after however many episodes of this podcast, I finally got an intro down. that sounds respectable. It doesn't sound like me, but it sounds respectable. I just want to start by saying that I am very weak today. I had food poisoning or a 24-hour virus. I'm not sure because my friend texted me this morning saying she also has diarrhea now. But we went to APRE,

Joe and I, with some friends the other day. And then we came home, we got massages. I went to bed and around five in the morning, all hell broke loose. I was vomiting and I had diarrhea. And it was brutal and of course joe was so ridiculously sweet that i just was like oh my god because i was like who can i text for diet canada's dried ginger ale that's all i wanted you know when you're that yeah all i cared about was ginger ale and i've been trying not to drink soda because i have this big photo shoot coming up or commercial shoot but sometimes you just gotta like have the thing that like your mom gave you when you were sick for us it was uh sprite and orange juice sprite Sprite and orange juice together?

Yeah, together. That was the thing. It's like whenever I get that kind of sick, I'm like, I need Sprite and orange juice. Although these days it's La Croix and orange juice. Yeah, yeah. That's how I am with ginger ale. And it can't be regular ginger ale because the sugar leaves this weird taste in my mouth. It has to be Diet Canada Dry, which, by the way, is my elixir for everything.

And if I feel off, if I feel tired, Diet Canada Dry is... I once called them and I was like, I need to do a commercial for you guys because I'm so passionate about your product. And did you? And I ended up doing a diet seven up commercial because they're owned by the same people. And they're like, we don't need a commercial for diet Canada dry, but we'll, we'll pay you to do one for diet seven up. And I was like, okay, let's go.

But truth be told, I prefer Canada dry over seven up. So you heard it here first. It's a cure all. Yeah. So I was laid out yesterday and I was just like, and my, it felt like every organ of my body was being attacked. My kidneys, my back. I was just like, oh, this is so annoying.

And then I took what I thought was a Zofran, which is an anti-nausea drug. I'm going to say I have no idea what that is. That I travel with in case I get sick. Yeah. And I was like, Jo, please get me the Zofran. It's in the cabinet. And he went and got it. But I had mixed my Zofran with this thing called NuVigil, which is basically a drug

for narcoleptics. It's for combating jet lag when you travel overseas. And it's this high-level prescription. It's basically like a very sophisticated Adderall. I was going to say, you gave yourself uppers while you were trying to rest? So I fucking woke my ass up to be sick and nauseous for the next six hours. And luckily, I threw that up too right away. And then once I took the Zofran, I was able to stop throwing up.

It's kind of what they give you on safari in case you get really sick or something. Anyway, I had all the medical tools. I don't know who's been mixing my medication, but it sounds like her name is M-A-B-E-L. So when I get home the next week, I'm going to have a nice sit down with Mabel. I'm sure she has a lot to tell me about as well. I requested that Joe bring Bert and Bernice back. And she said no. She put the kibosh on it?

He left for three days to go into the States and come back here to Whistler. And I said, OK, bring the dogs back. And then he said Mabel said no. Oh, my. She didn't let him? No. I've lost complete control of my own domestic situation. Oh, my goodness.

Well, I don't know if this will help at all, but if you want, I can let you meet my daughter, who is here with me in the studio right now, Brad. That will help. I think it will. I think it will. Right now, she's actually, there's like a giant beanbag chair here at the office, and she makes Brad bring it down into the studio so she can sit in it, even though it's like a giant, giant one.

Oh, this is Mimsy. What's her name? Mimsy. She is a brindle pug. Oh, she's a nugget. How old is she? She's six. She just turned six.

Oh, she looks like a bitch. I like that. She is very bratty. She like does whatever she wants. See, she's already done. That's exactly like Bernice. I pick her up and then she's like, no, I was never interested in being picked up in the first place.

Please leave me alone. That is Mimsy. Yeah, she will not listen to anything my husband says. She won't obey him until I look at her and I go in a serious voice. I have to go, Mimsy, obey. And then she'll do whatever he asks, like putting on her harness or whatever. Yeah. So that's my daughter.

Now you've met her. That's cute. Mimsy's cute. Oh, do we have a podcast merch available now? We will very soon. Oh, Dear Chelsea merch is going to be available very soon, everybody. Yes. And it's cute and it's going to be comfy.

I made sure that we got like comfy shirts, comfy stuff. So cute. Okay, great. I love that for all our for all our female and gay listeners. Yes, exactly. Although I, I got a couple of DMS from a couple of straight guys that want to be very pointed about the fact that they listen to the podcast and are straight. I'm like, what do you want a fucking metal? Yes, they do. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Several, in fact. Okay, so yeah, let's move on to today's guest. She has a new book. It's called Managing Expectations. It is available now for pre-order. It comes out in May. And she has her

own podcast that I've done called Mini Questions, which she asked the same seven questions to all her guests and season two just premiered. So make sure you check that out. Please welcome a very good friend of mine, Mini Driver. Hi, honey. How are you? I'm all right, darling. How are you? Happy new-ish year. Where are you? I'm in Malibu. Oh, okay. Where are you? I'm in Whistler, Canada. The Sea to Sky Highway. I love that highway. I know you know that from your truck driving days. I do.

Honk, honk. A lot of people don't know that about Minnie Driver, but I do, and that's all that really matters. And that's what this podcast is all about, unveiling who was a truck driver and who wasn't. Minnie, congratulations on your engagement. Oh, thanks, darling. Yeah, thanks. Oh, very casual reaction. I'm not engaged.

my boyfriend will literally die if he I'm not engaged it was what you're not supposed to say engaged or are you not engaged no I'm not engaged I'm not engaged however only because my boyfriend he doesn't really want to get married because as he said I love you so why would I want to be in a thruple with the state of California uh-huh and I totally get that so we're not engaged we're just I wore a diamond ring that I'd actually bought myself on my ring finger because I show up for myself every day and if I'm married to anyone it's me there we go there we go I told Joe Coy my boyfriend that if he ever buys me a big fucking diamond ring don't expect me to wear it I told him we could be engaged and you can plan the wedding because I don't really care about that those kinds

of things at all. And I know that his potential for actually planning a wedding is never going to happen. So if it's all on his plate, it won't come to fruition because he is such an in the moment person. So you and I are kind of opposites. I don't want to be engaged or publicly planning a wedding and you decided that you are going to marry yourself. So those are two different perspectives i just want i quite like a party i want a party well who doesn't like a party mini obviously with dancing and toasts but i like toasts i want people to make toasts about me and him and you want also one of those videos like a great montage video of all the wonderful things that you've ever experienced and people saying amazing things about how they've never

seen two people more in love than the two of you yes yes i get that i want i want that and dancing and like those big fucking lanterns in trees outside and like a barbecue and long tables. I want that. I've seen it in like a Nancy Meyer fucking movie. That's what I want. Yeah, well, good. I'm glad that you're able to visualize your expectations.

I've got a mood board for the wedding I'm never going to have. I want to ask you about finding your true love after you lost your mom because I think things like that happen in life all the time when somebody kind of exits our life. someone comes into it and a lot of times it for me I know personally there's a lot of my mother around with my with my guy you know they actually they knew each other and they had a really amazing friendship and she didn't she didn't suffer too many of the men that I was with because she took

it personally when they broke up with me or if I broke up with them but she really really loved Addison. They didn't know each other for long enough. But I do think that there is an exchange, that there is some sort of relay that happens when, I think you're absolutely right, when someone leaves, something else comes in to fill that space. I think you just have to kind of be open and aware. And it's very difficult when you're grieving to allow that in. Yeah. Have you had any of those experiences yet about your mom? Have you felt her around you? have you felt like you've gotten little signs of her? I have. I hear her. I think she co-opts my brain because I heard her say, I was having a conversation with her one day, I was missing her

so much. And I don't know if these are psychotic breaks or part of the whole process. And I don't really care because I could hear her voice talking to me. And at one point I said, am I making this up or is this you? And she was like, well, you know, of course it's me, but I don't have a brain anymore so I'm having to use yours and it was so exactly something that she would have said that I knew her sarcasm was a sign yeah right and then we chatted and now I chat I do I chat to her all the time particularly in nature I see her whenever I think about her I see a single bird it's really strange yeah I do that I do that too whenever I see a single bird I'm like hi mom always yeah it's really strange and maybe that's I don't really mind where that's created from

because it continues to make me feel connected to her so I don't think it matters I don't think there needs to be any kind of no one needs to verify if this is true it is true for us it's just kind of like what you believe in it works for you it doesn't have to be proven to be fact or fiction right it's like whatever the possibilities are which means you're open and as long as you're open things will come to you and who cares if they're real or not you know i think it's so funny we judge so much that the way in which everybody else passes life the way that everybody else synthesizes it and that this this the way that we look for outside verification of what we fundamentally know to be true and then we don't we don't trust that and so

then that leaks out into the rest of our lives that we don't trust this basic instinct that we have about what feels good what is righteous what is true for us that's actually any intention that I have about this new year is to insist on no outside verification well it's also funny because so many people we don't know the answers to so many things which people pretend are so black and white like no there's no god or there's god or there you know it's like first of all nobody fucking knows if there's a god or not nobody has any proof of that except for your belief system and what you think you've personally experienced so the idea that you have to have a definitive belief system to begin with is is silly right the fact like oh they're religious like i have a

friend if anyone's religious she just regards them because she thinks they're stupid i'm like well okay that's a little bit much i mean i also have a little bit of that but not and then people like the new thing is you know not to say you believe in a god but there's something it's like well that's a God. I believe in the universe. It's like, well, that's another word for God. Like we're all saying the same thing, but people have to be so black and white about it as if there's been proof about it. Either way, we don't know what happens when you die and nobody's ever going to find out until you die. And then it's probably still not going to be the news we're looking for. So why not just create your own reality of what you think is possible?

yeah it's weird dogma is absolutely shit as far as I can make out and it really I hate that it's got dog in it because I love dogs it's absurd because it's like if you got everybody to agree with you it's sort of like and then what like so everybody agreed what if everybody agreed on the same on the same thing we'd find conflict elsewhere like it is hardwired into this human experience is contrast and conflict i think it is it is part of this human experience and it's it's absurd and the more that one can disengage from needing that or underwriting that i do find myself stepping away more and more from people who are dogmatic in any kind of belief they just put me off my dinner i'm like i want to eat my steak and peas i don't eat steak i don't know why i said i want to eat

my baked potato. I'm glad you said that because I was like, why are you saying that? I don't eat steak. Like that. Steak is out of style, quite frankly. Meat is out of style. Lots has got to change, Chels. I'm so glad I'm on the phone with you because I just, lots has got to change and it's got to change now. So fucking help me. I mean, all of it is so, I mean, wait, back to your, I want to talk a little bit about your siblings and with your mother passing, because I found that to be such a great comfort, having my brothers and sisters around and experiencing that kind of transitioning, you know, from life to whatever happens after life, you know, like together. And there were moments of hysterical laughter and moments of, you know, unbearable

pain. But I feel like without those moments, my brother once said, we were all in the hospice and my mom was on bed and on her bed. That's where you go to die. Right. And my one brother just still didn't understand what was going on. And we were like, Roy, she's dying. Like we're, this is where we're taking her to die peacefully and he's like but what if she gets better and we were just like oh my god we can't keep explaining this to you like it's a wrap okay anyway so we're all lying in these mats on these like cots that they had at this hospice and i was with next to my one brother and my other brother and sister were across the room and my other sister was on a chair and my brother who's a complete asshole and really sarcastic and thinks he's hysterical

goes hey chelsea because shauna and roy were like lying very close to each other holding hands and he goes, how long do you think Roy and Shoshana have been sleeping together? And you just heard my sister across the room groan. She's like, Glenn, honestly, seriously, why would you even bring that into this space? And we were all laughing so hard. And it was such a funny moment because, you know, without those moments, it's just so painful. You need that. And you can only really be that way with the people who knew what it was like to grow up with your parents, right? Yeah. I mean, there are moments that are starting to happen, but it was, it's so weird. It was nine months ago. We haven't had enough moments where we've laughed together. We're still gingerly being able to talk about her in a, because, you know, we're still dealing with the probate of her estate and selling her house and all of this stuff. that I'm hoping once these things are done

will allow us to kind of commune about her in a way that is. Because there were certainly really amazing moments while she was dying, just like you said. We were sitting around watching her like she was a TV when she was dying. And my aunt said, she was like, God, I always thought that if I was dying, having all these people who weren't dying

standing around looking at me would really piss me off. And my mother was like, it does piss me off. And she was like, I am a TV, turn me off. This is really annoying. And we're still laughing about these moments. I know it'll come. I know it's there. I know it's in escrow waiting for us,

being able to laugh about it. But it's astonishing how grief, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine, and then it just rises up and it fells you. It just literally brings you to your knees. Sometimes when you least expect it, I'm astonished by it. I'm grateful to all the people who have witnessed that happening and not freaked out. Yeah. That's so common also to be like, I'm doing great. I'm doing great. It's

over. It's over. I'm through it. I'm through it. And then you're like, no, no, it's like, you don't, that's not how grief works. And we all, and like, for some reason, you know, we believe like, okay, I've gotten through it. Like, why is that important to believe? So it's over. It's in the past. It's like, it's never going to be in the past. You know, it's another just like time construct that doesn't make any sense at all it's emotions it's heart it's all those feelings yeah it's I've got this birthday coming up and I don't I've been having these existential dreams and feelings whilst awake how can you have a birthday if the portal through which you came is gone like how it there's there's something that's been happening about this idea

that without my mother there how how do I sort of exist it's it's really strange like it's an absolute mind bend losing your mother I I experienced grief with my father dying and huge loss but not this existential stuff about my own mortality and about the impermanence of time yeah I mean the impermanence of everything and the existence the constant existence of time yeah yeah I mean just think about how old we are now you know I was talking to my friend the other day I'm like I'm 46 like a half 46 I'm going to be 47 this year my half my life is over and she's You don't know that. I'm like, oh, please. It's over. Come on. The idea that you get to this age and you start to go like, oh, it could happen at any time. I could get sick. Anything could happen.

And then the idea of you have to live every day like it's your last. I don't want to fucking live every day like it's my last. That's exhausting too. Sometimes I do want to lie in bed and watch TV all day. I don't need to be out there showing the world what I'm made of. So it's all these thoughts that you think about with your existence and how long you're going to be here for and what what else you have left to say or do or what impact you want to leave you know with you you have a son so it's even you know that's even a bigger thing but it's all about it's so interesting because this is my new obsession since mom died is this idea of like assigned meaning and meaning and what that is and what a meaningful life is yes and the pressure that we put on ourselves or

the pressure that other people put on us of like what what the fuck is that and how could anyone describe what that meaning is except us except we who are in it and if that is lying in bed watching bad tv or good tv in a day who says that isn't meaningful well i think pretty much everybody thinks that's not meaningful but i don't think there's an argument there but i would argue with i would argue with like you know who what's meaningful like being a celebrity being a well-known person is that is that supposed to be more valuable like obviously as you get older you realize that how fickle that is you know how silly that 100 how silly it is to think that you have more value I think like okay in my best run of thoughts I would think your value in my estimation

would be what kind of impact you're having on every single person you're around right how much sunlight are you spreading and joy and happiness to others like what what's that or strength or inspiration you know maybe that's the most valuable things the things that are not measurable because it's clearly like all over the map right you want to have people leaving with like a better feeling for having seen or met you I feel like that's the most that you can really I feel like that really is everybody smiles when they remember my mother every single person and the people that have come out of the woodwork going I sat next to your mother at a dinner in 1985 and I've got to tell you it was one of the you know that that's that is the most and the best that we can hope for

but it's weird how maybe it's now that there is just so much information shared this idea that if you don't have a private plane and if you're not earning you know you don't have a hundred zeros after the amount that you make in your life I mean I don't know like we're it's so it's become so disconnected what an idea of a successful life is yeah right well Hollywood can do that to you you know that can make you very disconnected yeah totally maybe that's why I am the way that I am an ex-truck driver is what you are and that's what you did I tell you wait did I tell you when Kate and I my sister and I were driving down Sunset Boulevard and we saw this billboard I always called it my billboard because when when Circle of Friends first came

out my friend took me there and he made me stand outside of his rabbit his VW rabbit and he was like close your eyes okay now look and there was this I was on a billboard and it was exciting so anyway we were driving down sunset we see this billboard and Kate looks at there are three men on it she went she went oh my god we've slept with a hundred percent of that billboard I died laughing I was like that is connection in Hollywood right there I've missed your sister I I haven't seen her since COVID, obviously, because I haven't been over to London, but she and I had some really fun nights together when I was over there. I know she would send you a huge, I got to tell her that I was doing this, she would

send you a huge hug. She's actually on the line eavesdropping, so you can just say hi to her. What's up, Bates? So we have callers that call in and we give them life advice and we kind of curate the episode to things that you might talk about publicly or have, and we just kind of give them feedback and people are pretty kind of serious when they call in here. So get ready, sister. All right.

That's what we're going to do today on Dear Chelsea. You're going to get advice from Minnie Driver, from myself, and from my producer, Catherine. Hi. And we're going to give it to you straight. Yes. But before we do that, we're going to take a quick ad break. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit.

Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them

they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.

I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much,

you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us.

Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, aka the biz and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us

everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this how about we flip it on his head okay how about we flip the script okay what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it

walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's the state everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, everybody.

We're back from our break. Okay. I hope that was as gratifying for you as it was for us. Wonderful. Well, we have some questions, Minnie and Chelsea. And our first one comes from Frustrated Stepmom. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm 28 and my boyfriend, 29, have been together for two years. We moved fast. We

were friends when we were younger and have lived together almost the entire time. He has two daughters, age five and three. I'm very involved with them, picking them up from school and taking them there. And I absolutely adore them. The problem is their mom raises them very differently than me and my boyfriend wish to. I obviously don't want to step on her toes at all, but it's very hard when she refuses to actively potty train them and feeds them McDonald's or whatever and then they come here and we struggle to get them to eat real food and they've regressed on whatever we're working on. I know you're not a mom but do you have any advice? P.S. I was an early childhood educator for five and a half years so I do know a bit about kids and all I want to do

is help them. Sincerely, Frustrated Stepmom. Oh wow. Well Minnie is a mother. Minnie would you like to take this first gosh I mean I don't envy you I feel for you because you're also very young and your boyfriend had children very young and it's so I'm imagining that the co-parent the mother is also very young and when you're young you don't like anybody telling you anything all I can say is because my son he lives with me but he goes to his father's and he has a relationship there. And weirdly, all you can really do, trying to get someone to do what you want them to do is an impossibility. It really is. Unless they want to do it, it's not going to happen. And all you're going to do is frustrate yourself. So it's, you might not want to hear it,

but it really is. You maintain, you hold your course in your household and what the rules in your household are and how it runs and what happens there. And you do that gently and kindly with consistency. And I think by creating that environment, the children, while they're being given an alternative experience in another household, hopefully that consistency will bring them back to you. But you can't get her to stop feeding them McDonald's. You can have conversations about it, perhaps, with her if she's open to that. But because you can't change what she's doing, you can only carry on doing what you do with love and compassion. And I know it's really annoying when people say that, but it is true. You guys just do you and make it the place

that they want to be. Make those the choices that they want to make. Raise them to be kids who can decide what is good for them and to choose, make good choices. That's what you can do. That'll probably feel better. I think that's great advice. That's their mother. You can't tell her what to do. So you can only set the example for when they're with you. And kids respect rules, even when they don't like it and they rebel against it. It's like it sets you up for success in the long run. So you have your set of rules at your house and she does what she wants at her house. You can't control any of that. So yeah, just give it your best shot and be consistent and do your thing at your house. And you're going to reap the rewards, probably not as soon as you'd

like but eventually everything will come around into the right spot yeah they don't get McDonald's when they're at your house sorry you know and you don't have to give in to them you sound like you know what you're doing so the only thing you just have to do is probably just refrain from thinking that you're going to have an impact on her yeah yeah that's true for everything yeah I mean the only way to ever influence anybody anyway is by setting your own example not by telling them what to do. Nobody listens to that. I mean, maybe some people do, but I haven't met those people yet. Yeah. Well, our next question comes from Taylor. Dear Chelsea, first off, I've read all of your books and you're the first person I've been able to relate to after losing my brother. What a

shitty thing to relate to someone for. But you're great. Anyways, I'm 25, engaged, living with my fiance's parents and starting a business. I've always wanted to own a food truck, which I've been working on opening since I graduated college in May of 2018. I feel like it's been the longest process to get this thing up and running with 1 million speed bumps, financial issues, timeline expectations, truck failures, food service regulations, and of course, COVID. It's still not open and was supposed to be by this past summer, and it's causing me a large amount of anxiety when it comes to other people asking me about it. I think my question is, how do you process the stress of people being so excited for you and your endeavors while also feeling

disappointed or like you failed your own expectations? It's to the point where I don't even like going out for fear that someone will ask me, when will the food truck be up and running? It's almost done. I've been saying that for a year now, but it actually is. And at this point, it's not even exciting to me anymore. I think once it's open, I'll feel a ton better, but it's been weighing heavily on me. Taylor. Hi, Taylor. Hi, Taylor. Hello. Hi, how are you? Good. How are you? Good. This is Minnie. She's here today as our special guest. Hi there. Hello. Great to talk. Okay. So you were planning on starting a food truck, right? And it hasn't come to fruition in the time. Is this because of COVID?

Yeah, just COVID. Lots of road bumps, but I definitely would give it all to COVID for the most part. Yeah. Well, at least you have a good excuse. So there's that. That's true. I've done this before in my life, just so you know. I've talked about something, talked about something, talked about something. And then when it didn't come to fruition in time, felt like an idiot because I was no longer interested in talking about it, was sick of everybody asking me questions and then kind of had lost my oomph for it. So I have taken it as a lesson. For things in the future, first and foremost, sometimes you don't need to advertise everything that's going on until it actually is close to happening. And you're learning that

lesson. So what's great about this is it's a huge opportunity for growth and learning because you've done this. It's not a mistake. It's just something that you don't want to do again. So make a note to yourself that you're not going to. And in the interim, when people are asking you questions about it and blah, blah, blah, you can be completely honest. Like, I felt like I just talked about it so much. I'm over it. You know what I mean? There's nothing wrong with being honest. And people always seem to have respect for that kind of integrity when you're talking about something. You don't have to lie or make up excuses. You just have to be direct and say, yeah, it's taken me longer than I thought. I was supposed to start a cannabis company

five years ago and it still has not happened and I just tell people like it's been a shit show just can't get it off the ground like every time something happens something else happens and we can't sign the paperwork you know but I I'm no longer embarrassed about it because I I never was embarrassed about it because I kind of learned that lesson a long time ago it's like I didn't overly promote something that I and it's not my fault so you know you have all of those things on your side it's like it's more a little it sounds like it's a little bit more about ego you know which is something that is easily kind of it's easy to get over yeah definitely yeah I have been talking to people and when people do bring it up lately I'm like honestly I'm just

over talking about it it'll happen eventually like but for now I just don't even want to talk about it I'll be like just stay tuned and if I post about it it's gonna happen if not and what are you doing in the meantime oh just anything and everything like after I got my degree I didn't end up getting a job because I thought you know the truck would be up and running a lot sooner COVID hit so I just have a lot of like little odd jobs right now but it should be up and running here soon and yeah I just don't want to commit to something like a career right now long term while I'm working on this I just want to focus on it and get it going is it close to happening now yeah but it feels like it's been close for a long time but I think actually it is close

yeah I think if you start to believe that and it will that will have a powerful effect on the outcome as well yeah many do you have any words of wisdom in this situation I know that you've wanted to open up a food truck for some time now you know me and trucks Chelsea you have the greatest reason in the world for telling people that the timeline timelines for every single person in this world was shot to shit with COVID. I'm literally looking out at the ocean right now and I'm looking at like three tankards, which are part of the supply chain,

like just hanging around waiting to go into the port of Los Angeles. So you're not alone. And I'm sure that people are a lot more understanding. It's probably the pressure that you put on yourself to go, God, I said this thing was happening. And then there was a global pandemic and now it's not. It's not happening on the same timeline. It's getting rid of the timeline, getting rid of the pressure and going, I want this

thing to happen and I want it to happen now. If we could just say, I want this thing to happen and I'm going to keep focusing on how awesome it's going to be when it happens. I'm going to keep working on the details and stay out of the timeline. It's the hardest thing to do, but it sometimes gives you relief to do that. Just trust that there's sometimes a different itinerary than the one that you have. Exactly. That's good advice.

Yeah. Your timelines are all in our, you know, why are we making these time constructs anyway? Just it's going to happen when it's supposed to happen, when it's right, and when it's going to be the most successful. And it's not far off, it sounds. So I think you're on the right track. Keep remembering that. Just keep thinking that.

I mean, even in the best of times, especially when you're starting a business, you only have so much runway. I mean, I was an entrepreneur once upon a time, and it was like, whether it was financial runway or emotional runway or attention span runway, like you just only have so much. And having COVID have dropped in your lap in the middle of that runway is super frustrating. So like what Chelsea said, being honest and being like, it's super frustrating. We keep running into all these delays and it sucks. But like when it happens, I'm so excited.

I think that's the best case scenario. Yeah. Yeah. Well, good luck to you and keep us posted to how that goes. Definitely. Thank you, guys. Thanks, Taylor. Yeah, good luck.

All right. Bye. Bye. Bye. bye I'm glad we were here to help her I'm glad we were there to help her as well young people I was remembering being young the other day and how much you just thought that it was an outrage when everything didn't come to you immediately because now I just sit around being so grateful if anything actually shows up yeah if anything works out when you're young

everything is an emergency everything well like a few months feels like forever when you're 25 I know it does it does and I think I think it's it's okay young people shouldn't be thinking about what older people like it's it's such a different season it's it's so weird I sound like I sound like a crone now now now that I'm actually moving into that particular archetype but it is it is true we're not supposed to be thinking about that when we're young you you're you're meant to be burning through all of that youth I guess yeah it'd be so fun though to go back to being a young person with this mindset you know I wish that could happen I know I know what's that quote youth is wasted on the young which is so trite but so true it's it's a true it's right because

it is true all of those kind of kinds of things it's like oh god yeah good if I had this mindset it. And then you meet, sometimes you meet younger people who have their shit sewed together. You're like, what's up with you? Where the fuck did you come from? I know. That you're so sagacious and smart and know that you already know what many adults don't know yet. I think my son is like that. I had him read something the other day. I was like, you've got to read this article because, you know, this is like from one of the great modern thinkers had written this piece. And I was like, Henry, you've just got to read this because like, I can't stop thinking about it. And he read and he was like, yeah, I know I call bullshit on that. And I was like, do you? And

he's like, yeah, it just feels like bullshit to me. It just feels like a whole bunch of words and a whole lot of not doing. That's so funny. I love you doing his accent. That's really something. He's very sure. I love it when young people are sure, even in their hubris. I like that it's like, no, this is the way that it's going to be. This is how it is. And that's bullshit. And this is cool. Yeah. I like self-assuredness in any person. That's always such an attractive quality. I agree. Absolutely. But there's a complete difference between dogma and being self-assured. It's like a self-assured person can, I think, can be flexible and move with whatever they're presented with because they're just sure of who they are within whatever maelstrom they find

themselves in. Maybe it's just my kid. Well, kids are pretty self-assured these days. They're a little bit smarter than we were. They have a little bit more access to intellectual property and stupid properties i mean they also do sit on tiktok and youtube video games fuck oh my god my sister was here a couple weeks ago we're like all we had all gone skiing and everyone's lying around in the living room and i look at my sister who's 55 and she's like scrolling and i could see just by her eyes i was like what are you doing are you on instagram she's like i'm on tiktok i'm like simone get off tiktok right now get off the tiktok what do we have next katherine our next email comes from miranda from sex in the city i mean i hope so but she's not on

the phone so somebody said to me the other day they go how did miranda become so stupid all of a sudden i'm like why is she so she was so small exactly i'm like yeah all of a sudden she doesn't know anything about you know equality or social injustice like that's a kristin character trait not a Miranda. And what's up with her husband? Why do they do that to him? Why do they make him like an 85 year old? They made him like my grandpa. Why do they do that? Like he's literally like 56 or something. Like it's absurd. I know. They're treating him like he's what? I can't hear in the goddamn farmer's market. It's like, what are you doing? That's so true. It's so funny. I haven't been able to access the most recent episodes because I'm in Canada and there's

like I think you're all right I think it's okay from what I'm hearing that's exactly right it's like super weird it's like a geriatric installment super weird it's like they're 80 and they're not 80 they're these beautiful gorgeous people I don't get it it's weird I don't buy it it's like they've been in a coma for like the entire time it is it was full week I just said that with my best friend the other day we were like it's like they've rumple stilt skinned all of them what is this oh my goodness podcast technology email password jesus it's like where have you been the last 10 years like you were alive you weren't you weren't in a shoebox in new york yeah the other thing i mean tell me if this just like crushes your heart but they go to what they

keep calling a comedy concert and i just i'm like i mean what why why is it called a comedy concert that's what i'm saying like they keep like a stand-up show yes they keep being like we went to their comedy concert and i'm like what no one has ever said that phrase ever oh my god it's so it's so true because sarah ramirez is just she's doing stand-up but they call it a comedy concert yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe that because that's what old people call stand-up comedy concerts a concert of comedy yes how boring weird i'm gonna change my tour name to Vaccinated and Horny, a comedy concert. A COVID comedy concert.

A COVID comedy concert. Do you want to get COVID? Come to my show. Oh, my God. Well, our next email does come from Miranda. Dear Chelsea, my name's Miranda, and I'm 27 years old. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month.

Price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto-pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying,

Shut up. Don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters,

then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport.

And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this?

How about we flip it on its head, right? How about we flip the script, okay? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird? Adam Scott. this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that it seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going

to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity yeah ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app

apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts on the new podcast solita we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman i can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle i chose option b i'm julie pinero and i travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people

and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My best friend and I have been inseparable since seventh grade. We've been through just about everything together. I was drawn to her big personality and how outspoken she is because I'm the opposite. However, we haven't talked since before Christmas over something very stupid. It was very frustrating because she was home for Christmas and didn't bother to see me, even though I did try to make plans because of the stupid disagreement. I think our friendship no longer serves us.

I often get scolded by her or ignored. I've always just put up with how she treats me because I don't want to lose her. Family and friends say that's just how she is because of how easily she can be set off. I think there's an unspoken agreement that we're done. We have never gone this long without speaking, and I don't want to be mean or point out things in her character that I don't like. I'm afraid she'll do that to me if I try to reach out. But does our 15-year friendship deserve a formal breakup? Best, Miranda.

I mean, I've had a lot of friend breakups. Me too. Yeah. And then I got back together with them. It sometimes took a couple years. I think sometimes you don't need a formal goodbye because then you're leaving it also open-ended for you know Maybe six months or a year down the road For you guys to come together maybe again and you might care a lot less about the things you care about right now

And that might be true for her as well You know, it doesn't sound like there was some huge fissure It sounds like you just have personality types and there's it's totally acceptable during a friendship or any relationship to kind of go your own ways for a little bit, each of you. And I think that's healthy and you should embrace that. And you can actually examine how different things are without her in your life. If it's a positive impact or a negative impact, if you look at the world a little bit more differently when you don't have her in your life or the opposite is true, it's a good time for self-examination and friendship examination. Yeah, definitely. Me and my best friend of like 20 years, we broke up for four

is and in that time she got married and had a baby and got divorced and actually I was the perfect person at the end of this whole thing I knew her so well to be able to kind of counsel because I hadn't been in the drama of everything and when we did come back together it was like a whole new friendship it was really interesting I think I think it was I think it's okay exactly as you said to go your separate ways for a while and then you know you can find your way back you know I think you often do find your way back. Did you say you were counseling, you were the perfect person to counsel her or she was the perfect person to counsel you? Kind of both, but really about her husband and their divorce and being able to look at it in a much more sanguine way

from not having been inside that relationship as I would have been if we'd been as joined at the hip as we had been. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's nice when you can come back together, right? Really nice. It's a perfect testament to like, who knows what kind of, what would have happened to your relationship had you been there with that husband you know that could have been damaging upon no repair who knows what all the circumstances the things that were prevented by allowing you guys to separate I look at things a lot like that instead of being upset that they're over being like this is obviously some sort of gift that I can't see yet you know and to take time away from people is always a good thing and it makes you really appreciate and and understand if you are

supposed to be friends with that person and be that close with that person yeah and it's you know it's significant breaking up with a friend in terms of you really have an opportunity to look at yourself and go well that wasn't a love affair which can cloud one's judgment but really this was like a choice this is a friendship what is it in me that is not working in this relationship anymore is there stuff that I might need to look at like I think it offers a really a great opportunity for self-reflection I think it's win-win if you're not supposed to be friends with them you won't and if you are then they'll come back or you'll come back together once you've you know, had a bit of time apart. I think it's okay. Yeah, I was talking to my mom the other

day. And we were talking about friendships that sort of come and go. And I mentioned, you know, some people come into your life for a while, and then they leave, you know, maybe they're not meant to be for your whole life. And this stuck with me so much. But my mom said, most are like that. And yeah, it really sat with me because I was like, that's actually very true. there are so few friendships that we might have for you know 10 20 30 years and most of them are just meant to be there for a time yeah that's a good way to look at things you know because it is it is more unique to have most of your friendships aren't your lifelong friendships a lot of them are when you do have somebody from high school or from primary school or something you know that's

people are always like oh really you're still in touch with them you know my sister has a good group of girlfriends from college. I make friends every year. I make a new friend. I'm always making new friends. So I have so many good girlfriends that are even recent friends for the last five or six years, ever since I started skiing. So I don't think there's one prescription for any of that. And you shouldn't ever hold yourself to anything like that because it's demanding and people need to grow and evolve. Yeah. So there's that problem solved for you, I hope. Keep us Post it and let us know what happens with your girlfriend and if you guys, you know, how you handle it.

Okay, great. Dear Chelsea, this is from Yvonne. I've read and enjoyed some of Chelsea's books, and I've been astounded with her strength to be exposed. I've written a book manuscript and have just started to send it out to literary agents. See, I've always been a writer. I'm astounded when I read stuff I wrote in high school or college because my ideas were so misinformed.

I recognize that I wrote what I thought was true at the time, but I'm on a continuous path of growth and my opinions have evolved. How do you have the conviction to publish anything with the knowledge that you are also an evolving person? Sincerely, Yvonne. Well, actually, Minnie has a new book coming out in May, so I think she can speak to this as well. Thanks for that because that's what keeps me up at night.

That's what I wake up sweating in the middle of the night going, why am I putting this out here? Why am I doing this? Listen, I did realize the other day that no book is ever finished. You might put the final period, but it's not finished ever. You just have to stop writing at some point. If you're a writer, you put stuff out into the world. If you create content, if you are an artist,

whatever word you want to call it, you create stuff and you put it out into the world. And that's just how it is. and I think yes you evolve and your ideas evolve but you know as long as they're not deeply problematic I think that's okay I think one can look at stuff and go you know what I might not want to talk about that time I killed a horse like you know it's like you can write from the vantage point of where you are and stand in that truth and go this might change so then write another book about how it's changed but you can't not write because you're scared that time is going

to move on and it might make your stuff look old i mean you know i don't think dostoevsky is turning in his grave or any dead author so yeah and i think also writing something is being very much in the moment you know you're writing what your experience is up to right now you're talking you're being reflective in this moment you know you it's not about the future it's about now so that's what one of the most freeing things I think about publishing a book is like, okay, I just put all of that out there. That's gone now. Now I, you know, the next project is going to be stuff that hasn't happened yet or stuff that I haven't contemplated yet. You know, I may revisit old things, but it's like, it's kind of putting your stamp on a period of time. So I like to look at

it that way. Like here's my experience. I've documented it. It's out there. Don't challenge me on this because I've already expressed it. So it's out, you know, I already said this and I can always refer to it. So there's a lot of advantages to putting out your, putting your stuff out there. There's a lot of, you know, advantages personally, professionally, obviously, if you want to be a writer, you want to be published. You know, that's one of the goals of being a writer. Not everybody's goal, but you know, many writers. Yeah. There's a huge advantage to documenting your experience here. I agree. And there you have it. There you go. And there you have it. Well, we'll take a quick break, and we'll be back with Mindy Driver.

Mindy and I just took a bath together, and we are on the Sea to Sky Highway, actually, because it's raining, so we just had to. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.

It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages.

On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits,

change your mind or wake up to a new version of yourself so whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip i hope you listen to solita on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook on the big money players network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this

how about we flip it on his head right how about we flip the script okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that it seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know

what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this state everyone's so dumb And fake. Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Stand outside nude. We love to do that together as well. Love it, love it, love it. Anyway, we're back from the break. Wonderful. Well, Minnie, was there any advice that you'd like to ask for from Chelsea? Oh, Chels, yes.

Is it going to be marital advice? No, it's not. How do you regroup when you've been professionally punched in the face? Oh, that's a good question. Because I've just been professionally punched in the face. And I really would love to know what you do. Well, that's ego. And so you have to understand that that's ego, right?

And then you have to sit there and do the inside work of understanding that your value isn't contingent upon outside success, even though your career is and your public persona is to a degree, it's not the whole sum of your parts. It's a part of your parts. so everyone anytime i get punched in the face i look at it immediately like oh my god this is a huge learning opportunity huge huge huge huge because your reaction is your strength of character right because all of our reactions are like it's a gut punch it's a gut punch but after you get past that there are so many options to operate out of strength out of character and

to understand that this is a tiny little thing in the impermanence of everything not the biggest thing in a litany of things a small small thing and we've all been through it before so it's not a new thing it's part of the it's part of the process and it's not something that you should sit too long in your shit fork personally in my opinion i would say that then you really are like you know if you allow that sinking feeling to take over that's all your ego because you can easily pick yourself up from that you just give yourself a couple you know a shorter period of time and then you're like that's enough I'm not gonna cry in my own milk or anymore like that's a wrap on that and then the next time it happens you have an even stronger reaction and you know

we've all been through it so I don't know if that helps but I know that really it really it really does I mean it really is just the notion of like what is the opportunity I'm wildly vengeful in a really really like awful way like I want vengeance so badly and yet there's no elegant way to get vengeance in this in this situation but to see it to actually be less interested in what happened and more interested in how you can process it to become stronger on the other side of it is really really good advice because it's that's the judo move right it's take the stuff you take the energy that's thrown at you and you actually use it and you use it for your own good yeah because then nobody remembers even the falls they just remember you getting back up like thor and you're

like i don't think so buddy that's not my story yup yeah and i mean my mother would say that them swilling around in their own revolting behavior is really payment enough yeah you can't spend time on thinking what you want to happen to other people that's that's that's a bad use of your time and then you're sending out bad vibes bad vibes I know it's on it's like you know listen we all do it we have to because it's part of our psychology but I think you give yourself an afternoon to do it and then you go that's it yeah you can sit around thinking about them slipping on the ice and then that's it yeah exactly and then eventually you know you don't care about those people or what happens to them exactly thank you i feel better well that's what this is for that's

what we're all about here minnie so i'm so glad you were able to join us today i really am very glad it's why i came on so you'd answer my i could get my question in before all the other people you could have just called in like a regular caller i could have just texted you thank you minnie i love you so much i love you so much thank you so much such a great show i can't wait to see you again and I love doing your podcast too by the way you guys mini questions with mini driver I did an episode which I enjoyed thoroughly and it's a great podcast she asks everybody the same seven questions I do thanks Chels you're welcome honey I will speak to you soon loads of love bye bye bye bye see you oh hey Chelsea let's not forget show dates okay yes

I have some stand-up dates coming up I am going to be in Seattle February 2nd and 3rd I'm going to be in Portland, Oregon, February 4th, two shows. There are tickets available for the second show. Then I'll be in Eugene, Oregon on February 5th. We added second shows to Kansas City, to Winnipeg, to Toronto, to Huntington, New York, to Port Chester, New York, to Montclair, New Jersey. And I'm also coming to Louisville, Kentucky. So please mark that down. Oh, and we added a second show in Los Angeles and a second show in Santa Rosa, Louisville, Kentucky. If you want me to come back, then we need to sell out tickets. So buy them. I think that's all I have to say for today. Oh, and I'm going to Hawaii, uh, July 1st and 3rd Honolulu. And then I'm coming to Maui.

Yay. Do you have a question you want to ask Chelsea to get some advice right into DearChelseaProject at gmail.com I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are The Survivor Files.

Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What?

For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way.

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