Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - I’m Here So I’m Gonna Win with Mikaela Shiffrin

Episode Date: September 5, 2024

The greatest Alpine skier of all time (yes, men included), Mikaela Shiffrin, joins Chelsea this week for a heart-to-heart.  Mikaela discusses recovering from an accident while simultaneously nursing her fiancé back to health, working through grief after losing her dad, plus letting it all go when the pressure gets to be too much - and winning anyway. Then: A skier wonders how to get back on slopes after an injury.  A girlfriend gets the ick even though she knows she’s found Mr. Right. And a fiancé wants to use her grandmother’s engagement ring - and her stepmom is holding it hostage. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. fill the space with you. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello. Hello, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. Hi. Hi.

You are fresh off your Vegas residency. Oh my God. It was so ridiculous. We kicked it off. We kicked off my Vegas residency. It was Fucking epic. I had the Thunder from Down Under guys carry me out on stage. They were like, should we do this? I'm like, I don't see why not. And then I had Natasha Leggero open for me. Oh, fantastic. I hadn't gotten to perform with her in like 20 years. So that was fucking so much fun. I had a bunch of friends come. Of course, we all went gambling after. And even though I left with less money than I started with, I was supporting my whole table with their gambling because once

everyone ran out of money. I started handing out chips. You know how I like to do that. Of course. So I consider it to be a huge win anyway, because I still left with money and I didn't blow it all. And I'm just so excited about this residency. We flew in at like four o'clock. I went down to the bar, made some surprise drinks for some customers because they have a Chelsea drink there now in my honor. Excellent. Chelsea at the Cosmo Hotel. And then, yeah, I can't I'm just it was really fun. And it was huge. I was like, whoa, this is a big deal. So yeah, my next dates are November 2nd and November 30th and then all throughout the year. So check my schedule,

mofos. And this weekend, I'm coming to Foxwoods in Connecticut and Portland, Maine. I'm going to be in performing in. Oh, my gosh. Do you have somebody in Portland, Maine? We went to a gorgeous restaurant called Eventide. And we started chatting with the bartender and her name was also Catherine with a C. And, you know, she says, what do you do? And we just start talking about podcasts and all this is the podcast on. She goes, oh, Chelsea Handler's been in here. So I was like, great, that's perfect. So you've got to go back to Eventide and say hi to Catherine if you're there. Is that in Portland? Yes, in Portland, Maine. Is there like a bar in the middle of the restaurant? Yeah, it's like a big bar in the middle of the restaurant, part oyster bar, part bar bar.

Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. Yes. Yeah, that's cute. That's cute. I'm on an oyster kick lately, so I'm really going after it. Doug did not make it to Vegas. He came to my show on Friday night and he's such a dreamboat. I mean, he is so affectionate with men too now.

Oh, good. Yeah, he is really just, he's getting better and better and better. It's like, I want to do like an ambassadorship for Chow's. Get a rebrand. Yeah, I want to rebrand Chow's. They really are sweet dogs. I think they get a bad rap because they were like bred for fighting, but like they're really, really mushy. Yeah. I mean, they're originally from China. So whatever that means.

Just like pugs. We both love Chinese dogs. Yeah. I mean, who knew? Who knew? Well, this week we have an awesome guest. I'm just so happy to have this person on my podcast. For those of you who do not follow skiing, she is the winningest skier of all time. And yes, that is the word they use. She has broken every record in skiing. She is the ultimate champion, and I just am in such awe of her. And her name is Michaela Schifrin, and I get the pleasure of speaking with her today. Please welcome Michaela Schifrin.

There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt

he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.

I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place.

Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B.

I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here.

It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover

those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it. And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family.

It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. Yay, yay, yay, yay. I'm so excited to introduce our very special guest today because it's very hard to pin this woman down. She's very, very fucking busy. Okay. She is, she's not going to like this intro. She's going to get shy, but I don't care. She is the winningest Alpine ski racer of all time. Or you could also refer to her as the greatest Alpine ski racer of all time. Or you could refer to her as a two-time Olympic champion and a seven-time

world champion and a five-time overall World Cup champion. This woman is fucking phenomenal. And her name is Michaela Schifrin. Welcome, Michaela. I'm dying. I know. Thank you. I know you're shy and that you're low-key and that this is embarrassing for you. And that was my intention. I expected nothing less no thank you that was amazing oh my god how are you oh I'm so happy

to see your face this is Catherine my producer hi welcome to Dear Chelsea thank you I'm so happy to be here I know I'm so happy I get to see you face to face finally we've dm'd before and we've talked a little bit you know little short messages but we've never really gotten a chance to talk so I know you're so busy and that you just came back from Paris and you got to be a spectator so yes First, tell me what that was like, because it must have been so nice to watch people perform and be at their at their best without actually having to do much on your own. You're totally right. It was I was kind of like, the spectating thing is pretty nice. It was amazing. I mean, those athletes, they're insane. And even the athletes who don't win the athletes who are maybe expected to win and don't win. but you're like, you're just, I don't know, somehow taking a step back and watching it from that perspective, opened my eyes a little bit to like when we're there and I'm racing and I'm

feeling the pressure and I feel like it's the be all end all, like this is the end of the world. And I'm looking back at it. I'm like, holy shit. No, like everybody here is really good. And this is like a really good show. I don't know if it takes pressure off or it puts pressure on or it changes that at all, but it just gives me like a little bit of perspective. It was super inspirational. So it was it was a good time. Well, it was also very poignant as a woman. The whole conversation around mental health and what happened with Simone Biles just really kind of kicked this Olympics off in a way that made everybody aware of the power of being an athlete and the power of actually taking care of yourself. Right. And the power of standing up for yourself in a sport, which is was just true of most sports where people don't aren't allowed the room to stand up for themselves.

or they have male coaches that are in a complete dysfunctional power dynamic where you're just being worked, worked, worked, worked, worked. And I just thought it was so empowering to have Simone come back and kick ass in the way that she did. And then all the other female athletes who got gold medals and all of the black female athletes that got gold medals and the black excellence that we saw, you know, during these Olympics. It was on full display.

So I know you talk a lot. you've spoken a lot about your own mental health and your own journey, its struggles, however you want to frame it. So what was it like for you as an athlete, having experienced all of those things, seeing it demonstrated and spoken about in this very public way? I think that the whole experience made me feel really grateful, like really appreciative. Like I was actually thinking about this last night, not to be weird, but in the shower, like where I do most of my thinking I was thinking about Simone so I was like shit she tweeted something about like stop asking us what we're gonna do right after we win an Olympic medal like I'm gonna go babysit my

medal that kind of thing and I was laughing at it so I was like that is true and good for her for actually calling that out because I always wait I walk away from those conversations like why am I so frustrated that this person is interested in what I want to do with my life and what I'm doing after this. But the fact is, you're like, I didn't have like a really, really thought out plan for the next three months. Like we were like, we're just trying to get here so far. So like, we're kind of making it up as we go. But the other side of it is, nobody really knows how to say thank you face to face. Like, honestly, all we really want to say to her is thank you. Right. Yeah. On behalf of female athletes, you know, I hear what you're saying. And I know that

you've had a lot of similar experiences although it's a completely different sport it's so interesting to look at all the different sports right because there's like in Michaela's sport there's different disciplines she trains for different disciplines which is kind of unheard of you have to have like completely separate training programs she's not just doing one thing she's doing multiple things and for a lot of these athletes like gymnasts they are also doing multiple things they're doing floor routines they're doing the uneven bars they're doing the horse and all of those things but for you Michaela I know you've been through tough times I know your dad passed away. You've spoken about that publicly very beautifully, and you started a foundation in

his name. You went through a difficult season, understandably so, after your dad passed away. And the next year, you came back and basically broke every record that was possible. So for men and women, I mean, she has more wins than men and women. So tell us a little bit about that now that you have some perspective and what you learned and where your greatest source of strength came from? Because I know you must have felt so, so low at times and not wanting to even compete and then, you know, not competing well or at your best and how you turned that around because it's all so similar. Yeah. I think our greatest source of strength is time. It's just being able to give yourself the grace of taking time. And we don't really, we're not trained to

do that as athletes. We're trained to be faster and to go faster and to do things better and quicker and stronger. And it's all like strength is taken very literally. It's like how much weight can you squat and whatever, how fast you can get down the mountain. And for me, that first season after my dad passed was like this grace period season in my own mind. It was like, I just want to actually figure out that whole season for me was helping me decide if I still wanted to be a racer and i just didn't want to quit before i gave myself the real chance to try but there were so many points during that season where i i just wanted to stop i mean i think it was about a week and a half before going to the olympics i remember having this race i just had covid

2022 was two years after my dad had passed away but you're still like okay i want to be doing this but even then i was at a ski race in austria and i was fifth after the first run not that far off i had a chance to pull back time in the second run and potentially win and i was having like a full-on breakdown with my mom in the car in the parking lot we didn't go to like the athlete hospitality that's what they call but it's really a tent in a parking lot at the bottom of a ski It's just like where we go between runs. But we had gone off in our separate space and I was bawling. I was like, I want to go home. And she's like, you're not, you didn't ski that bad. Like you have a good chance at this race. I'm like, no, it's not about that. I'm so tired. I just spent almost two weeks in quarantine. The Olympics are coming up in two weeks. I had COVID as close to the games as you could possibly have it without it keeping you from being able to participate, which means you're stuck inside basically in a hotel room for 10 days

right before you go to the Olympic games. I was like, I'm just tired. I'm tired from not doing anything. I'm tired from not being able to train like training and skiing gives me life. And I'm just so frustrated. And I don't care about this race. This like this race has nothing to do with it or whether I win or not. Like that's really, I couldn't care less, but I want to, I just want to be home. The thing that would make me feel good right now is like booking a plane ticket home. And she was like, okay, okay, let's just get through the second run and then we'll get back to our lodging and we'll book the ticket. And I was like, okay, I can do that. And then I ended up pulling back. It was like, I had given up and then I ended up pulling back the race, winning

the race. It was this whole historic thing. It was the first time that the women had raced in Schladming, which is normally a men's venue. And it was this whole exciting ordeal. And I was just like totally withdrawn from the whole thing. And it was the first time that I actually drank the champagne bottle that they gave it. And it's like a big, it's a big bottle. I was like, give that fucking thing to me. It was just like, I don't know exactly where I'm going with that. No, I hear your story but what do you think of that do you look at that as like a lesson do you think because I mean it's so true in the moments where we're ready to give up and I'm please I'm not grouping myself in with you as an athlete but we don't feel in the life moments that we're all ready to give

up that's when miracles do happen you know it's where like all of your training all of your discipline all of your expertise kind of comes in sometimes when you're not available to do it yourself. Everything else works for you. It's like the instinct that you've trained actually takes over because I just didn't have the capacity to think or to really care at that point. Right. So then I was just like purely skiing and it was one of the best runs I've ever taken. It was like raw. I almost want to say unemotional. It was just skiing and it was a pretty pivotal moment for me. But then all I needed was just to get through this moment. I just needed to put one foot in front of the other. I just needed time and it's going to

take longer than that. And it, you know, I didn't like, I struggled through the Olympics and I struggled on and off that season. I also had amazing results. I won some races and it wasn't a bad season altogether. It was just like, it was just a child mentally and emotionally challenging season. And every season presents something that's challenging. So since then I've just been like time and breathe through it and like when I'm feeling really shitty just give myself the grace of time and then season 2023 which was last year when you went buck wild one race after another I can't even tell you it was just and I have friends in the ski that run the U.S. ski and snowboard team so they are always updating me on Mikhail information if I'm not in the country or something

because I just fucking love watching you excel. I mean, it just brings me such joy. And I can only imagine how your own fucking mother feels. I mean, she must be bouncing off the walls. But how did that feel when you came, like, I mean, and I know it's not effortless. Of course it's not. It's years and years of training and it's talent.

It's innate talent that you are honing all of the time. So how does it feel when you're on a run like that and you keep winning? You keep coming in first. does it feel lucky? Like, do you feel like, okay, finally I'm in charge of this or does it feel fragile? That is so interesting. It feels kind of a mix of everything. Like it's on the one side, it's knowing that that run could end at any moment because it really depends on how the other athletes are skiing. And if they figure it out, if they change their ski boots and that boot

just gives them a little extra power and all of a sudden they figure out their timing and they just, and they're just become faster like those are things that were sort of that's what we're battling every race and this season I just had the edge on everyone more often than not and then there was a whole record that was the that was the record season and I was in this mindset where I was like I don't care about the record I don't care about it and I'm and people are going to ask and I'm used to them asking so that doesn't even bother me anymore and I did a pretty good job my whole team we did we all did a really good job to kind of put that whole thing aside so we really just focused on the skiing and it's like sometimes the season with the seasons with the most

opportunity where most people would start to get greedy I tend to like settle in and just be like well one race at a time one training day at a time like I'm not taking this for granted I'm this might, I might not win tomorrow. So I'm like going to do the best that I can today. And then we'll focus on tomorrow when it happens. And I just am really, really present in the moment. And that was how that season was. It was just like, not fragile, but just like very grateful. I guess the headline for the season was gratitude. Those are my best seasons ever is when I'm just kind of feeling grateful. Yeah. And I think that applies to a lot of different things too. You know, I think when you do have the gratitude for what you're experiencing, the abundance does come

because she didn't just break the record. She just kept breaking it and breaking it over and over again. And then this past season, she got hurt. You tore your MCL, right? MCL. And I sprained my ankle, which sounds like so stupid. But that thing, that is what hurt the most. So knee and ankle.

I just can't take any of your injuries seriously because they don't seem to keep you down for very long. So I'm sorry for my lack of compassion. Nobody knew about the ankle because I was like, oh, I hurt my knee, but the ankle kind of, we realize it later. It doesn't matter. Now your fiance was in a brutal ski accident. And this ski accident was like, it was really difficult to even hear about. I can't even imagine what you guys went through. His name is Alexander and they've been dating for, I think, three years, right, Michaela?

Yeah. Right. So he's in a terrible ski accident. Which happened first? His happened first. Mine was a couple weeks later. And his, correct me if I'm wrong, he had a major artery. And if he hadn't been on a ski mountain with professional help so close by, it could have been really disastrous. His was life-threatening. He missed the artery, thankfully, because he would have died. But he basically cut his leg almost clean off. And he severed a nerve, like the most important motor function and sensory nerve for your entire lower leg. So he completely lost feeling in his foot and motor control and the motor control is now coming back, thankfully, but the feeling is likely never going to really come back. And then his shoulder, so the leg is actually now in pretty good shape, but the shoulder, the doctor basically said that his surgeon basically said, I've been doing this for like 20 years. I've never seen an accident, a shoulder. Like I just present presented on the worst rotator cuff injuries I've ever seen two weeks ago. And I wish I was doing that presentation now because this is

the worst I've ever seen. And we're like, Oh God, what does that mean? But he, he was doing really, really well. He was improving really well. And then this like fluke freak thing happened a couple of weeks ago and he got an infection in the shoulder and, or they found it a couple of weeks ago, it was like festering underneath for a while. So that's like a fairly big setback. But overall, he is so positive. And now he's like, okay, well, this absolutely sucks. But I'm gonna just these are the cards I'm dealt now. So let's take that and not like he signed up to do some studies of like an online course for the next eight weeks. And he can't do much until he's gone through the course of antibiotics. So he's like, all right, well, we'll make the use of the

time now and that's for me that's incredibly inspiring because like you said my injury was I mean it it was a big injury but it was minor in the grand scheme of things especially compared to Alex and I came back the same season and I won my last two races so it was a kind of a bummer but I still had a really successful season and I'm just sort of brushing it off like these things happen but for him I'm like god you're so inspiring well and also I mean to be in the same sport together and to have had bigger injuries than just your MCL this past season, not to minimize that, but you've had bigger injuries. Well, what does it mean for you to be able to kind of show up for someone

that you love so much when they're in a situation that you're familiar with as a competitor and then as a fiancé? Yeah, well, you know, we see a lot of pretty horrific crashes in ski racing. For whatever reason, this year was more than any other season we've had, just so many athletes got bad injuries. I mean, if you watch her coming down the mountain, like when she comes out of a gate, when she's doing downhill, I would rather, I mean, I would sit on my ass and just hope to God I could get down to the mountain. You cannot believe the risk on their lives that they are taking every single time someone ski races. It is insanity.

I know I know well okay so a couple back in May we went to the F1 race in Monaco and we met Yuki Sonoda and Alex and Yuki were like totally had a bromance going and you know Yuki was like wow that's so crazy what you do and Alex was like well what you do is more dangerous and I was like whoa whoa whoa whoa they have a car like a very very protective secure car like fireproof it's not that it's not dangerous it's just we're doing this with literally razor blades and like you've got like a light fence in front of the pile of trees like we're not protected at all don't mistake this what we do is really and if one thing goes wrong that's a massive injury yeah it's very rare that they wipe out and like they haven't hurt anything i mean it does happen

If you crash, you pretty much get hurt. And then it's just a matter of how hurt you get. But yeah, so I flew to the hospital to meet him. He had the emergency evac, went to the hospital in Switzerland, and I went to meet him. And I was in Austria. So we like my, and my family, my brother and his, and my sister-in-law, they had just arrived. My mom, she travels with me as my coach. They all just like, well, we're just coming with you and we're just going to help if we can help, or we'll just keep you company or we'll like logistically, whatever, whatever you need. So we got there and I was there when Alex woke up from his surgery and the poor guy, I mean, I've never experienced a situation like this.

like not this. His accident was on a different level from most crashes and skiing because the severity of his shoulder and the severity of his leg, his shoulder was causing him an insane amount of pain, but they weren't addressing that because they had to tourniquet his leg and get him to the hospital. So he had two hours where his shoulder was out of completely out of place. And he was just like 10 out of 10 pain. He was like, he kept passing out from the pain and then wake up in a panic and he had seen his own leg and he didn't care about it he was like please fix my shoulder and they're like no just we'll get to it and there's a whole story is like horrific as he's sitting on the mountain and then he gets taken away by the helicopter and he's dangling by the

rope and then the sled starts spinning out of control and that made him sick and then like they were giving him you know morphine which is one of the things that they give you and immediately and that I don't know if he's allergic to it or what but he got really sick from it which is a common response. And so when he woke up in the hospital, he was asking about his split times from the race. And I'm just sitting there like, Oh my God, first of all, your leg is your leg's going to be okay. You didn't lose your leg. Like you can look down, you can look down at your feet. You didn't lose your leg. And were you the first person who told him that? Yeah. Oh my God. And he was like, Oh, and he's like, I fucked up my face. I'm like, your face is really surprisingly

not that bad. You've got some scratches, but those are also going to heal. It was just sad because the last time that I had been in a hospital in a situation where somebody's hooked up to that many wires was when my dad died. And I was like, okay, just please don't die, you know? And at that point he was stable, but it was still, he wasn't really in the clear for the next two weeks because a lot of like post-traumatic head stuff can come up and he had you know full body scan and we were really checking every part of his body to make sure there were no other internal injuries or anything like that but it was just a really really intense first 24 hours and then two weeks and then it's still going right but being there for him in that way especially when you're

saying that about your dad you're right it's funny the way life works you know where these situations present yourselves and you're like, oh, okay, now you have a different experience with that hospital. You have a different experience with somebody in that state, in that hospital that is surviving. And that experience was given to you, even though it's not something you would ever think to ask for. Right. It's like in the immediate time, you're like, why would this happen to someone I love? But then in the end, it's like, I kind of see it as a gift because he has gotten through it better than we could ever imagine and he's still going through it but it's also like a lesson in mentality about how these really shitty things happen to people and like he went he has

gone through so much pain and he finds a way to smile and say thank you and look forward to things and you're just like okay it's just it's all gonna it's gonna be okay like even if it's not okay it's going to be okay. When you have that kind of a mindset, time is the biggest gift that we have. And if you can just somehow get through the hardest moments, then you just always, you kind of always come out on the other side. Like I'm still somehow. Okay. And in that moment, I'm like, I had a race the next two, two days later, I think, or like within the next two days. And I was like, if I don't make it back for that race, I really don't care. It's just the perspective comes in and you're like as much as ski racing is in the forefront for me like

I really don't care I ended up making back it back for that race and then I won the race and it was only because like if I'm going to leave him to go to a ski race then I better fucking win the ski race they're not like there's no other option here and it was it was one of those weird it was like a demon took over my body because I had no right to I had slept on the floor of the hospital it's like I have no right to be winning this race I really probably shouldn't even be doing it but I'm here so I will I will win but that's your superpower that's your superpower that's why you're such a fucking badass because you do fucking win over and over and over again in dark moments and I know you've had and I like how do you feel about do you feel like your dad's

with you when you ski race no I mean this is sort of a this speaking dark you know everybody's like I can feel my, I can feel my loved ones. I can feel the people I've lost. Like sometimes when a certain wind blows, I feel like they're with me or I get these moments in a, like a quiet, I get these feelings in a quiet moment. They're there. And like, I have not had that kind of experience, not, not in the way people explain it. And I feel like I keep expecting it. And it's still, I just, I think about him a lot. I have dreams about him, like walking through the door And I look forward to these dreams so much and I can't control when they happen. But when they do, I'm just like, please stay asleep as long as possible. Because then when I wake up, it's like waking up as a nightmare, which is sort of shitty. But that's how I feel. But when I'm racing, you need to focus on what you're doing when you're ski racing because it's dangerous. Maybe my superpower is like the hyper focus. People are like, can you just be a little bit more fun? what was one of the moments that you've had where you were really proud of how you handled yourself

right now what i'm thinking of is in beijing so you know i went through the whole i went through the whole line of media and mix zone after every time i crashed and it was like you can either walk by them and put the you know the blinders up and ignore them and it's a line of like a hundred or more different media outlets. And I was like, no, I'm just, I'm just going to talk. And it was right after each race that was not successful. It was like immediately thereafter, but particularly after the, I think it was the combined race where it was like, oh, like you really fucked that up. And I was like, okay, well, I was just going to talk to the people and see what comes up. And it's not that I'm proud of that, but I'm proud of going through that and not coming out on the

other side totally jaded and angry at the media for doing their job that they're supposed to do that we're very very thankful for when we win medals and we get put up on the pedestal and you get sponsorship deals and your marketing value goes sky high because of the media they're asking those questions when you're successful but when you fail as an athlete it's so hard to be like well, I just want some privacy now. And you're like, well, that's not really how this works because they'd make me feel amazing if I won. So they're literally just doing a job. I guess I'm proud of that. Yeah, that's a great answer. I love that answer. OK, on that note, we're going to take a break and we're going to be right back with some callers. McKayla, you're going to give

out some advice to some strangers, OK? Oh, and we'll be right back. The Jonas Brothers are running it back we live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest jonas brother hits that have defined a generation one incredible celebration one unforgettable night see the jonas brothers live at rbc amphitheater september 28th get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca Jonas Brothers, the Burn It Up Tour, all over again. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.

I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.

It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages.

On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits,

change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you.

You have something in your guts. You go with it. And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now-husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. It was so pure.

Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Mikayla Schifrin, and Doug just joined us on the couch. Hopefully you can see him in the video. Sit down, lover boy. He's so fluffy. It's so hard to see him because, oh.

Because he just runs into the couch. I know. He's beautiful. Thank you. Well, our first question comes from Ashley. Is it ski racing related? Actually, should we start with that one? Yeah, yeah, let's start with it.

Let's warm Mikayla up. Don't worry, we went heavy on the conversation, so you don't have to deal with giving out too much advice, so don't feel too much fresh. This comes from Amanda. She's 40. Dear Chelsea, I had surgery on my knee this past June, which is the second time I've blown out my ACL while skiing to impress, but ultimately letting fear make my movements.

The second surgery included an LCL enhancement to really help my 40-year-old knee hang in there. I'm looking for advice on how to build strength in my knee this winter, as well as possibly wearing a brace in the future. At the doctor, I felt pressure to upgrade to a fancy ice machine post-surgery, and now they're looking to fit me for a brace. Do braces actually help or is it better to build the strength in the knee and ski with awareness of how the knee is being impacted? Thanks so much, Amanda. Oh, well, that's super interesting. Yeah. She was like a little cagey about like,

are the doctors just doing this to like make a little extra buck? So yeah, no, it's true. I mean, that is there is a little bit of that in the medical world. And obviously, we're very, very thankful that they're there to take care of us and fix us up. But so professional, athletes a lot of us do ski with braces through knee injuries in order to get back it's not that it provides more stability really like it's a brace and it's also a mental brace it makes you feel like okay it's a but it can also become a bit of a crutch and so we are sort of told that as soon as you can get out of the brace get out of the brace to a point with ACL reconstructions and surgeries you need a brace for a certain period of time so it's I don't know if they're

giving you one for, they're telling you to buy it for the next years and years and years of your life. I would say, wait on that as long as you have a brace for the short period of getting through the initial part of this surgery. But the most important thing is that you build up the strength, you do the rehab work, you do the sort of motor control work in balance work that is really necessary for ACL surgeries and repairs the neuromuscular connection that is really lacking even after the tendon has healed thoroughly so for the next I would say for the next two years you really really need to stay on top of any kind of neuromuscular work proprioception balance training and then just your overall strength training like hamstrings are really

important. Hamstring strength is important. Quad strength, building back your quad and your VMO is really important. And you can do a lot of that with very basic tools. You don't necessarily need to have like a huge squat rack or something. You can do squats and lunges in your house and that would be sufficient to kind of build back strength. Yeah. And also like Mikhail is a professional skier. So like you're not, this woman doesn't sound like she's racing and like doing any downhill chicanery so like she sounds like a casual skier like me and if you're like me first of all everything she obviously the professional said but on a more casual a lay person yeah lay person this is your hobby half the people i know ski with knee braces i ski with knee brace half the time i

had acl i have meniscus i have all that shit too but the strength training is the most important thing like single leg training single leg squats always building up your quads and your hamstrings and your butt like I didn't build my butt enough up and I paid for that last season so as long as you are constantly really feeling strong like you're going to be in good stead when you go and and it is more of a mental thing to wear a brace but sometimes that's good well it is mental I did say but you're totally right it's just and she definitely like you definitely need the brace in the first the first few months that first six month period and then it's just like you said in order to help with stability, it is a mental thing. Yes. But it's like, there's a reason they

have braces. I just don't want them to be telling you like in six years, you're going to need to be skiing with this knee brace. So you better buy it now. Like that might not necessarily be true. It depends on your comfort level. And you're really skiing to have fun and be comfortable. You're not skiing to win world cup races. So your goal is to be comfortable. And don't stop trying. Sometimes I'm in so much pain when I ski, but I never give up. Just don't give up. You just go get a shot of Cuervo or whatever you need to get through the day and get down the mountain. Okay. That's how I look at it. I thought you were going to say cortisone, but no, you went straight to Cuervo. Well, one of those too. A shot of cortisone is

great too. I love those. Yes. Well, our first caller is Lainey and she says she is planning a wedding like you are, Michaela. And she says, my boyfriend and I are planning on getting married and i wanted to use my grandmother's ring when we asked my dad about it he was very excited about the idea my greek name is agatha after my grandmother and my boyfriend has the same name as my grandfather nico we also first met on my grandparents anniversary so it feels sort of like kismet to use the ring we had planned to use the ring with my father's blessing and then my stepmother told me that the ring is hers and i need to quote get over it i should add that the ring has been sitting in a bank for 15 years, untouched since my grandmother passed, and

it hasn't been given to anyone directly in the family. My stepmom, who has been in my life since I was six, has always treated me differently compared to my half-sisters. To paint a picture, growing up, I was frequently not included on family vacations, and my first car was a used Mazda while my younger sister was gifted a new S-Class Mercedes. Don't get me wrong, I've had a more than fortunate life. College was paid for, and I have had a roof over my head thanks to the financial assistance of my dad, but it's come with its share of challenges, not the least of which was losing my mom to Alzheimer's three years ago. I really have learned not to ask for material things because I don't want to get my hopes up

only to be let down. In fact, I feared getting married because of that stress. But something about my grandmother's ring holds some sentimental value to me. She's my guardian angel, and I feel so deeply she would want me to have it. Since I know my stepmom won't budge, though, we've gone ahead and designed something for him to use when the time comes. But I can't stop thinking about what other issues could arise with my stepmom as we move into wedding planning. How can I navigate this tricky relationship and not get cut off from the sentimental things and traditions I hold dear? Lainey. Oh, that's so... Oh my gosh. Hi, Lainey. Hi, Lainey. Hi. Hi. This is our special guest, Michaela Schifrin today. Hi. She's getting married too. I am. So excited for you. Thanks. You

You too. I'm so excited. I haven't gotten too deep in my own wedding planning, but just listening to your story, oh my God. First of all, I'm sorry that you seem like you have an incredible attitude after experiencing some pretty tough things with family. So I'm sorry about that. I'm really inspired by your just general mentality and attitude. I think it's incredible that you've had the strength to say, you know, like picking which battles you want to fight. I don't know, Chelsea, like you might have better advice here, but I would say like your wedding is your, it's your thing. And that's a place where I would say you need to stand up for yourself. If there's something you feel strongly and passionate about and about

your own wedding and your own, your own relationship, your own future. I mean, it sounds like you already gave up the thought of this beautiful ring. So yeah. Did you already give that thought up? I don't know. I mean, I was told that there's not a ring for me to have. I just thought about like, oh, it would be nice. It's so weird because my boyfriend and I met, we learned it was the day of my grandparents anniversary. It was just like weird little like happenstances kept happening and it would be like really nice to have it. But I was told that there's not a ring. Oops, sorry, a landmower, just lawnmower just drove past me. I was like a landmower is that a new kind of car yeah a landmower she said get over it it's mine get over

it maybe i'll get it when she's dead yeah which will be fine i like that she's thinks she's entitled to your grandmother's ring i know like she's not even blood related what does that have to do with it no but that's okay you know it is one of those things where you know i always feel like my grandparents and my my family's hat who's passed on are always there with me they for whatever reason are protecting me over this. I don't need to know the reason why I can't or will not have it. And I've been given other, you know, I have her earrings from the wedding, from her wedding. I have little pieces of her that will always be there. But I think that right now it's the, if this is the stress over, over a ring, I can't even imagine the stress over the actual

wedding so okay one thing about the ring after my dad passed away my brother initially we just let him have my dad's ring it looks like this this is the one beautiful and I was so distraught that my brother actually gave it to me and I think it was sort of temporary but he just said like keep it and then two years ago during the race season I lost it and my initial reaction that was, it was very painful for a few days, especially maybe a few weeks, but I ended up, I ended up having one made that were my, and it's really like this, like you said, it's a sentimental value and it doesn't have to look exactly like the ring, but you, what I would say is you've created something that's your own with her in mind in honor of her. And because of that, the sentimental value is

there. So I would say that's really, really beautiful. And then the second thought is just stand up for yourself in the moments about like planning your wedding, leading up to it and during it where you feel like, no, this is not what I want. And this day is for me. And that's just, you have to stand your ground there. And I hope that there are not too many things that you, you disagree on like very aggressively, but. I'm pretty go with the flow to be honest. You know, my boyfriend's the one who wants the big wedding and I'm like he's the princess and I'm trying to give him his princess dream oh Nico so even coming to peace with that part it's more like okay I just talked to my psychic today my medium over over career stuff not even about this and

she's like you're gonna have the big fat Greek wedding just come to church with it like let it go oh my god move on just don't be breadzilla yeah you're an incredible human yeah you have a Great attitude. Totally great attitude. And that's always going to bring goodness, you know, your way. And if there is a moment that comes up with your stepmother, how involved is she in your wedding? Not very. You know, I'm assuming she's going to be very involved. My mom passed three years ago. And so, you know, wedding planning in general, like the whole process, like, I don't know, it's been kind of an emotional thing for me thinking like, oh, shit, like, you know, these are the things that I want to call my mom about. And, you know, she's not, you know, she's here, but like, you know, picking up the dress and all of that stuff is, I still have a mother figure and she's been with me in my life for 25, 27, I don't even know how long. it's going to be different. And she's kind of a great person, but she's kind of a control freak. So it's like every little decision I'm going to have to like go through her. And that's kind of my anxiety. Yeah, I think use this as an opportunity. Like it's going to be a nice, like a little growth spurt for you, but an opportunity for you to set boundaries in a

very healthy, loving, friendly way. Like this is my wedding. This is actually my choice. You know, I know you're here to help, but I just have to let you know that I'm going to be making the final decisions on the things when they come up you know if you have to have a larger kind of prophylactic conversation with her before anything happens then yeah I would say that if you feel comfortable talking to her prior like in the next two days or whatever and just say like this is something that's causing me stress I really want this to be beautiful for for me for my fiance for all of us but it's causing me stress that I'm worried about situations where we're not going to agree and whatnot and like what however you want to word it but my own therapist just she

always says we honor those we we love by being truthful and they're right she's been in your life for so long like you're going to honor your own relationship by telling her up front like we're getting into this and I am already stressed and I want I want this to be an experience I look back on lovingly and not regretfully and totally I think for me I need to come to terms with like I can't make everyone happy. I mean, I've got my stepmother and then I have like my mother-in-law and those two are two different, totally different people. And, you know, and then myself and, you know, it's, I don't know. It all sounds very stressful. But you can also just move forward in this and reframe it in your mind. Like this is going to be one of the best experiences of my

life. And I'm going to actually go forward with this with confidence and security in my decision making. And anyone who wants to join the party is fine, but you don't need any friction. You know what I mean? And if there is friction, then that person's not really going to be welcome to make all these decisions or join you in making these decisions. And it's like you're moving into an adult part of your life. Getting married is a huge decision. And then going through with it is another huge decision. And so it's a perfect opportunity for you to kind of like thrust yourself into like a more mature version of yourself that does have boundaries and that does have parameters and that people need to meet your needs instead of you always having to please theirs. Yes. Thank you.

So get after it and have a great wedding. Thank you so much. Yeah. I have faith in you. I think it's going to be awesome. I appreciate that. Yeah. Thanks so much, guys. Okay. Take care. Bye. Okay. So we'll take a break and we're going to come back with Michaela Shiffrin. there's no shortcut for saving time but saving money is simple just combine your car and home insurance with bel-air direct and save get a quote at bel-air direct.com when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting

voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home this is prose society the weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat

for thought daughters pop culture obsessives and anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse i'm eli rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and the conversations everyone can't stop having i'm gonna have to look up this story i'm obsessed i'm obsessed from best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society

on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts see you between the pages On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here.

It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always

searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it. And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family.

it was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. All right. Our second caller today is Lauren. She says, I'm looking for some relationship advice. I'm a 39-year-old woman who spent 10 years with the wrong guy. Most of that time was good until it wasn't. About a month into my new single life, I met my current boyfriend, and we've been dating about a year and a half. I absolutely was not planning on getting into a relationship at that time, but what can I say? We had a lot of chemistry and things just kept progressing. A little about me since I think it's relevant. I'm a kind of private person and I'm not

overly affectionate either. My mom passed when I was nine and as I'm sure you can imagine, we did not grow up being cuddled by my boomer dad and there really was never that safe space to be emotional and I was pushed into independence early in life. My dad did his absolute best, but I don't think he knew how to handle my mom's death and his own feelings, let alone the feelings of three young kids. So now being soft or overly loving is really foreign to me. It's not that I'm not a loving, nurturing person. It's just within intimate relationships. So here's where I'd love your advice. There are certain things about my current boyfriend that literally give me the biggest ick. Things like his medical anxiety. He'll get heartburn and think he's having a heart

attack or when he acts super goofy in public or things that are small and trivial like the shoes he wears. It's almost like I look at him being like a big dorky baby and I'm frankly the complete opposite. Tough as nails, tattooed, and I ride motorcycles. I'm living my best life right now and almost nothing can bring me down, whereas he experiences more emotional ups and downs. This man is the most loving, caring, supportive, intelligent, and handsome person I've ever dated. I've never been treated so well, so why can't I loosen up and look past the more trivial icks? Oh, that is so funny. Do you follow?

Have you ever seen that page, Michaela, the ick? No, but I want to. Wait, is it Boyfriend Icks? It's the Boyfriend Icks. There's a couple of them. Hi. Hi. How are you?

Hi, Lauren. Hi, Lauren. I was just talking about this Instagram page called like the Ick Factor or the Boyfriend Icks. There's a few of them. And they basically, it's like new ick unlocked. And then they show a guy stepping on a stepstool and they'll be like, don't step on stepstools. And then they'll be like.

That's me. They're like a guy hailing a taxi. And they're like, I liked my boyfriend until I saw him hailing a taxi. They're like, don't hail taxis. And then it goes all the way and they just keep adding icks to the list. And it goes basically down to don't have feet. Don't walk. Don't bend over.

I mean, it's so true. Listen, I know what you're talking about. I get icked out by, and we all do. We're women and men are disgusting. They can be so gross. you have got to take all of the positive things that you said about him and put that front and center in your mind it's almost like playing a trick on yourself if a guy was like a hypochondriac too and thought they were having a heart attack and every time they had heartburn that's exactly

how I would feel exactly what you're describing but you have to let the good outweigh the bad which it clearly does otherwise you wouldn't be with him and you wouldn't be having these feelings not everybody is going to fit into every compartment that we want them to fit and I have to have had to learn this lesson multiple times in my life but I speak from experience you have to turn those negatives into a cute little thing like you have to go oh isn't that sweet that he's like you know like you you kind of have to you have to like play a trick on your mind if the good things do outweigh the bad which it sounds like they do do they oh yeah absolutely I think like part of me thinks that this is probably the healthiest relationship I've ever

really been in. So like, I have all this time to sit and focus on like the really trivial type of ick things that, cause I don't have any like other toxic thing to focus on. So it's just like forefront for me. And it's like, oh my God, look at the shoes he's wearing. You know, like I, so I, I do over the past couple of weeks, especially I've been trying really hard to kind of like, yeah, cutify some of his things. So we'll call it, you know, trying to be like, all right, well, he has all the things that you knew you were looking for in a relationship, like the, the non-negotiables, but he has these other things that slightly throw you off sometimes. So, you know, are they really that bad? And to me, they're not, I just, you know, want to make sure,

I think the biggest one is the one with the anxiety because it's something that's hard for me to understand, but that's something that I have to work on on my own because I need to be more understanding of what he's going through in his mindset when that, when his anxieties do flare up and he's working on it too. So, you know, the fact that he's even wanting to work on it is, is sexy. That's hot. That's hot. Any guy that wants to work on anything.

And also the shoes, like those are things you can weigh in on and fix in a loving way. Well, yeah, I've already fixed them. Of course, of course you did. Anxiety's a little trickier. You can't be like, don't have anxiety, even though that's an ink. You can't say, stop it. But yes, you have to educate yourself more

about what anxiety means. And actually, this is a huge opportunity for you to grow as a partner and as his lover. Like, you want to be there for him in that way. So he has anxiety. He can't control that. You know that on an intellectual level. And like, you'll get there.

Like he's got all these other things and you have to stay focused on his positive stuff. No one is going to deliver to us 100% of what we want. It's just impossible to expect that. Yeah, I think someone said to me, I think it was my hairstylist who said to me, she's like, you know, you really have to like pick your ick, right? And that kind of just such a simple way to say it, like really resonated with me because, you know, I've dated a ton of other guys. I was in a very long term relationship and all of them had way worse issues than my current

boyfriend now. And like the ex that he has are so, like I said, trivial and kind of silly. So it's like, I need to be like, be more accepting of that instead of thinking like it's a compatibility thing. Cause we have really great chemistry. We love being together. You know, it's just, sometimes I just cringe, but you know. Yeah. And also flip your response to it. Like when he is freaking out or he is having anxiety, be really sweet, receptive and fake your reaction to it to see if that changes the exchange between the two of you and if it exchanges his behavior, because if you're telling like if you're giving the vibe like, oh, that's disgusting, sometimes it becomes even louder. So like try and experiment with how you react to him in the moments where you

are icked out and see because, you know, the best way to change someone else is by changing yourself. That's always true. So. Yeah. And I think that'll lead me to some personal growth, too, because of the fact that I do have that like very closed off side of me where I'm not very outwardly affectionate or like loving I think that maybe that'll help me go like grow in that direction too we're trying to flip it and say okay you know be more nurturing towards it more accepting towards it and maybe that'll make me a more nurturing person in the long run I think so has he given you any thoughts about what he would hope to have from you like what support he would need from you yeah yeah so he has told me over the past like year and a half that we have been

together um that I've that I do really help him like calm down when he is having anxiety like when he's spiraling off the edge because I'm just such a I don't know sometimes I feel like I have no feelings but you know so he has told me that and he has told me in times where I haven't been as good with reacting that like all he wants from me is to just say like hey like check in and say like hey are you doing okay like is there anything I can do for you which I have also tried to you know take into my own brain and make sure that like i am being cognizant of it but yeah he he has said some things not too much but some things because it sounds like a part of what a part of the reason he is attracted to you as well is because of your toughness actually yeah and so there's like a

little bit of this like potentially that that might be a little bit of a key to unlock how you guys can work through some of those things together if that's the biggest ick then figuring out like your common way to work through it together where you're sort of meeting halfway and like Chelsea said like you can't just get rid of anxiety it's something that you work through potentially for a lifetime but he might be looking for you to be like hey man like what do you need are you doing okay but like not necessarily be like oh my god come here like let me like kiss your cheek yeah like I can't I can't I can't coddle I can't coddle anyone you're not gonna be like I am not able to like build you a rainbow and be like oh my god like let's just so whatever

just but that that doesn't seem like he's looking for that from you so I think you're right he's looking for a little bit I'm not going to call it coddling but like a little bit of hand holding a little bit more of me being I don't know nurturing or I don't know what to even call it but you know just more understanding yes like I I need to I need to soften up he needs to toughen up and we can work on that together. And it's probably one of the reasons that you're attracted to each other is that you are very in touch with your feminine side,

but also your masculine side. And it sounds like he's got a little bit more of this emotional softness and stuff that we consider a feminine energy. And maybe that's one of the reasons why you two work well together. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Yeah, but I'm with you.

I understand what you mean. I'm with you on the cuntiness and the bitchiness. Like, I don't have a lot of time. Well, that's why I wanted to write it. Right, right. But I have adjusted. I have made a lot of adjustments. If it's an ick that you can't live with, that's one thing. And then you have to state that. But if it's an ick that's workable, and that's, you know, it's not really controllable, which anxiety is not, you can't blame anyone for that. I think you can soften up and do a little bit work harder on your behalf. And, you know, and then just fix all the other shit that's bothering you about him. That's materialistic, like his shoes, always fix their shoes. There's nothing wrong with that. There is no shame in that. Yeah, no, that was one of the first things that we did. They need help with their clothing, all of it. It's like, it's almost like they're swimming without arms.

You have to like, look at them like that. So anyway, I agree. Yeah. I'm glad you called in. I'm glad I see someone very like-minded and, and challenge yourself, level up. You know what I mean? You have to be a little bit softer for this relationship. It sounds like the healthiest relationship you've been in.

You said that yourself. So rise to the occasion. Yeah, yeah, I will do. Definitely. I appreciate the advice. No problem. Take care. Thanks, Lauren.

All right. Thanks. Bye. Bye. Oh, Michaela, you know what makes me so happy, Michaela? Whenever I see pictures of you on vacation, it's just so happy making for me to see you taking some time to yourself. Oh, thank you.

So I don't think you have a vacation coming up soon. I think you're getting ready to hit it pretty hard, right? Getting ready to go. Yeah. The season starts in October. So I'm going to Chile in two days for on snow training camp. uh-huh so yeah it's it's building i just walked away from the olympics and everybody was like i'm going like i'm done like oh my god not quite we're getting started here we go well i can't

wait to see everything that you do this season i can't wait to see you excel i can't wait for your fiance to get back on his feet and fully fully recover and i know that he will because of his strength and fortitude and because he's got you by his side and i think the two of you together are an unbeatable couple and I'm just so happy for everything that's happened in your life and I can't wait to see you celebrate more of it thank you I really appreciate that okay one more thing I think the first time that you commented on one of my Instagram posts I was like oh my god it's Chelsea Handler and also like wait do you think she's I think I asked my PR well I was like is she joking because she thinks like because I was like she's got she's like you've got the like

edgy like sarcastic like super joy you have all the different senses of humor and I was like holy shit is she making fun of me or she's serious and so it's just really really cool to have this conversation and like connect and whatnot and I love seeing you skiing and oh yeah that makes me happy well hopefully we'll get to ski one day together that would be a real highlight oh yeah I love the idea of me trolling athletes though just going around no I was like Good job. This could be a thing. Okay, well, we won't keep you any longer, Michaela.

Have a great, have the greatest day. We love you. Love you too. Thanks. Bye-bye. Bye. Okay, so upcoming shows that I have, you guys, I will be all over Maine, Charlotte, North Carolina,

Charleston, South Carolina. I'm coming to Texas. I'm coming to St. Louis and Kansas City. And then I will be in Las Vegas performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel. My first three dates in Vegas are September 1st, Labor Day weekend,

and then November 2nd and November 30th. I'm coming to Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November 8th. And I have tickets on sale throughout the end of the year in December. So if you're in a city like Philadelphia or Bethlehem or San Diego or New Orleans or Omaha, check chelseahandler.com for tickets.

Okay. if you'd like advice from chelsea shoot us an email at dear chelsea podcast at gmail.com and be sure to include your phone number dear chelsea is edited and engineered by brad dickert executive producer katherine law and be sure to check out our merch at chelsea handler.com i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor

files with elizabeth smart on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. plenty of overthought opinions.

Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. Like when my friend Henry Winkler

offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. you're hired to fill the space with you. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. becomes the site of a social experiment and fights back. Guess you didn't move in on a bunch of dumb hillbillies now, did you?

Listen to Our Town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.