Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - It Takes Guts & Balls with Beth Stelling

Episode Date: February 3, 2022

Comic and writer Beth Stelling joins Chelsea to talk about career transitions, the ways we can be blindsided by cultural shifts, and the world taking a collective nap during the pandemic.  Then: A wife finds out her husband is inheriting millions.  A lesbian struggles to suppress her jealousy over her partner’s ex-husband.  And a live-in girlfriend can’t stop thinking about a past lover - because he’s also her co-worker.*Executive Producer Nick StumpfProduced by Catherine LawEdited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert*****The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors

who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality,

welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the Internet and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by.

Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get in. Well, you probably won.

Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B.

I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, the whole town was, like, cowboy-themed. It was very fun. I mean, if you want to see cowboys, can't you just watch Yellowstone? Yeah. You know what?

I just need to do it. I do need to bite the bullet and watch Yellowstone. Yeah. Yeah, Yellowstone is where all the cowboys are at. People in Whistler love Yellowstone. And my girlfriend, Wendy Grillo, well, sorry, Wendy Moniz, is on the show Yellowstone. And so I am legally obligated to watch that out of friendship. Excellent.

So, but she's so good in it. And the show just got nominated for a bunch of like awards, SAG awards. Awesome. Yeah. Really no reason not to watch it, Catherine, at this point. Okay. After I brought it up. Yeah.

I've been home for a week from Whistler or two weeks. I'm on a little break because I had some business to tend to in the L.A. area. And it was very hard for me to leave Whistler. I'm not going to lie. My only incentivization really was seeing Bert and Bernice. Yeah. And coming home to them and making sure that they still know who I am, which they do. And they're actually really, really cute.

And they really love Joe now. So it's really sweet. Like Bernice is a little bit of a hoo-ha. You know, she only likes men. She doesn't support, she does not support other women. She is not a champion of women. And she started following him around. And then I said, I said Bert.

I said, it's confusing because I call them all Buddha. I call Joe Buddha. Anything I love that is squeezable is a Buddha. Where does that come from? Just like Buddha, Buddha, Buddha. I don't know. Like, I call my dogs Buddhas, I call my nieces and nephews, you know, when I'm, like, pinching their bodies. Well, I do a little bit more than their cheeks, but I call everything that I love Buddhas, so I don't know where that comes from.

I'm sure it makes Joe feel very special that he's not the only one called that. But anyway, Bernice has taken to Joe, and she followed us in the room, and I told Joe that Bert had to sleep in the bed with us because that's... Because obviously. Yeah, and he said, I said, does that, do you like when Bert sleeps in the bed with us? And he said, well, I like whatever you like. And I was like, you know what, Joe? Every answer is the right answer with him. He really does.

I really am going to write a handbook for men because he just says, the other day I was doing a Zoom for like two hours. And, you know, that's a little bit much for me, two hours straight. I was like, whoa. And I just needed my Canada Dry. Like my diet Canada Dry is my like elixir for everything. And he, I was thinking about it. was sitting at the table and Whistler and I was like oh god I want that I like when can I get a break to get up and get that you're like an addict and then he I am I'm addicted and he all of a

sudden just came upstairs walked right to the fridge took out a ginger ale and put it in front of me and I was like oh my god you're my ginger ale soulmate he just like fully read your mind he knew he does it all the time he does yesterday he goes I I was I kept putting my lip balm down and he kept picking it up you know because he always wants to have my lip balm for me which is so sweet because i'm also addicted to lip balm canada dry and lip balm and i'm an elderly woman there are worse things to be addicted to and he was like oh and then i had my purse and i went to grab my purse he goes i am not going to tell you this again you are not ever carrying anything in my presence and i was like honey you are just too much he's a hero yeah even my own purse he

refuses to let me carry it's so cute i like how many women in america are now in love with joe Oh, I think so. I think so. Yeah, I got a lot of a lot of DMS about it. It's really cute. He's so lovable. Yeah, like I'm so in. Yeah, I'm so into him. And it was nice. We just did a show in Seattle. He was performing at that Sonics where the Sonics used to play. It's called the Climate Pledge Arena, but it was used to be called something else. And he saw Eddie Murphy there when he was 15 years old and sat in like row 15. and so he was able to have like that full circle moment and he sold out 14 000 tickets 14 400 actually in this arena and i got on stage as like a surprise guest and then he got on stage and it was like the most incredible thing to see it was emotional it was amazing the guys from boys to men came out and sang with him at the end it was just so cool and he got really choked up during his performance because I'm looking at just that is such an insane amount of people to do stand up to tell me this I'm curious is there like a different kind of comedy that you feel like

plays to those like massive arenas versus like more intimate venues or is it just sort of like what you can sell out you can sell out yeah no I do think I thought that because I was I was going up I was like fuck I gotta buck up I'm like 14,000 people this is a lot and then I was like all right you know and I was like this doesn't really play like what jokes do you tell because you're just not convinced that that amount of people are going to be able to hear everything you're saying even though it's acoustically set up for them to hear you so it does play it did work and I said that to him I go you know I've always thought that it was too many people for stand-up like it doesn't provide the intimacy that stand-up needs but yeah I think some comics

wouldn't play in that kind of big of a thing because there are different types of comics but it was great and he certainly can so fun and i actually was like oh i like this too i didn't think i would i thought it would be too big he's so easy to be happy for and so easy to root for you know he's just like kind and wonderful like when it's actually funny when he helped us out the other week setting up and he was our he was our producer for the day yeah honestly that was the smoothest it's ever gone oh i know you know what i was saying i was talking to someone about it and I was like the thing I love about him so much is that he's so engaged with every single person he speaks to yeah and that he pays attention to everyone it doesn't matter if it's a kid or

a relative or a stranger he's always interested and engaged and like present and I'm always so like I love that yeah sexy where do you think that comes from for him is that upbringing is that just he's just so humble I guess you know he's so humble he's just so sweet and he really takes people in yeah you know like I've had so many boyfriends that just never really took in my family or took the time like he's on the phone with my sisters without me with my nieces he's texting it's just so sweet and I kind of like I'm like oh I have a team member now I'm not just on my own so that's that's the best part too that's wonderful yeah and he's ripped now he's ripped I mean from skiing he's like he lost six every morning I'd be like weigh yourself I don't

understand what's going on he would lose a pound six ounces to a pound every day and i was getting ready i'm getting ready for this big like campaign i'm doing for this athletic wear company and i'm like i'm the one who needs to get my body together and he's just every day he's like more and more shredded i'm like oh my god yeah so hot joe coy alert watch out guys watch out his underwear campaign is coming i'm very excited for our guest as always i'm always excited for our guest because I just love doing this podcast and seeing what people can contribute. A friend of mine who's also a comedian, because I feel like female comedians are pretty insightful. They have a lot of good things to offer up, I think. And they're filled with a lot of self-confidence

and self-doubt. So you get the best of both worlds. Please welcome comic and writer Beth Stelling. So Beth, you took a little break after your most recent stand-up special came out on HBO Max, right? Call Her Daddy? Girl Daddy. Girl Daddy. Sorry, shit. Call Her Daddy is another podcast. So many daddies running around. There's too many daddies. It's called Girl Daddy on HBO Max. And a lot of zaddies running around, thanks to the queer eyes. Yeah, I did. I just had something weird happen. I don't know. Obviously, the weird part was the pandemic. I don't know how to explain it, and I don't want to be depressing. Well, you know, don't worry about that. But I'm curious to know I mean that was an amazing special you're so thoughtful you're so smart

you're a great stand-up like I loved that special so when he told me that I was like oh my god I have to ask her why and what happened and don't worry about being depressing okay yes so go back to like starting in stand-up it was oh seven for me and I just remember thinking like how do I want to do this. And I knew all the stereotypes. And the sad part is they never leave. It's just, you know, like 14 or 15 years later, it's just like women aren't funny. Women only talk about sex. And so when I first started, I really felt like a young person who wanted to just be part of the solution, meaning like I'm just going to not talk about sex. I had all these rules for myself when I first started as a youngin where I was like, I'm not going to talk

about sex. I'm not going to hook up with the other comedians. And then I had other dumb ones like I'm never going to take a notebook on stage and I'm never going to repeat a joke. And then you realize, well, that's not what stand up is. It's so funny you say that. Let me just interject there because I remember when I signed with my managers, when I was really starting out, they took me down to Irvine to the improv to see Janine Garofalo. And she had her notebook on stage and I was like, oh, that is not professional. You know, and here I was like not knowing my ass from my elbow judging somebody who had been doing this for 15 to 20 years already going, how could she ever do that? Cut to, that's exactly what you do when you're working out material is bring a

notebook on stage. I mean, they had to convince me to not have my little notebook when I was filming my special. I mean, I just, it is like a comfort thing. And also getting to tour with Sarah Silverman, she always has the, like, this is why I am like this, you know, like she always has her legal pad and so it made it okay and also she i i one time heard her say like forget if somebody said something about the pad or something she said something like forgive my notes um i don't respect you so it was just like it was a way to like dispel that because because i remember being at laughs in seattle after my first half hour on comedy central that was like 2015 or something and i had my notebook with me and some guy in the crowd at laughs in seattle was like

why are you reading notes and somebody in the audience was like she just like somebody came to my defense and at that time in my how I was on stage and my persona or whatever I actually kind of needed them to come to my defense because I was just I'm so sensitive and they're like she just filmed a special she's just working stuff out like leave her alone I always just say I'm doing my taxes I mean I love that and also I remember opening for Burr Bagley even when he was at the Irvine he was letting me run my half hour before the stand-ups on Netflix and he was it was called working it out at the time and somebody yelled at him from the crowd even what are you why are you reading that it's so funny because like people have this idea of stand-up

of what it's supposed to be and I guess they still believe that we're just like coming up with it all off the top of our head and in some ways you are you know if you're doing crowd work or improvising But I had all these little ideas when I started and I didn't like going up. I would get an open mic, 22 years old, Chicago, seeing a girl go on stage and just talk about getting like butt fucked and shit going everywhere. And to me, I was like, it's not that I was a prude or I thought like it was more me being judgmental and thinking like, why are you doing this to us? Why are you going up there and just leaning into the stereotype? It's just exhibitionist. Where's the joke? I'm being all very on my high horse. And as time went on, I tried to stick to that because I thought, well, I'm going to beat this stereotype by just being funny. And by being funny as a woman and not talking about sex, that's feminist because it will show that that is what we can do and be.

And so I stuck to that for a long time until really this last hour. It's not that I never talked about anything sexual, but this last hour at the beginnings of it, I remember being at the Funny Bone in Dayton. Ugh. and that's I mean I'm from Dayton Ohio so I have like my friends family in the front row I have my whole family they're teachers that I grew up with and a lot of the stuff I wanted to talk about was sex and like not dirty what I believe to be exhibitionist and not okay like but jokes like I felt like I held it in for so long that I earned it that I was like no I'm gonna talk about it

because I'm so tired of not. And I can do it well. So I fought that for a long time. And the early parts of it, of course, weren't as funny as I wanted them to be. So that was an uncomfortable weekend, like doing the sex stuff in front of those people until I'm working out the jokes until they're good enough. So that was already the entry into this hour. I felt obviously, I guess we can name it as like shame or I don't even know. And then once I felt good about it, and I was really rolling with it, a lot of it was driven by anger, by watching male comics specials and then almost writing retorts to them. Yeah. Because I feel irritated that even though it's been so long and women have been funny for so long, for decades, that we're still not granted

individuality when we walk on stage like men are. So it just bothered me that they don't get named social justice warriors for talking about some of the same topics that we're mulling over or trying to create jokes out of so yeah that bothered me and I wrote a lot of retorts to that so it was almost fueled by rage and then but that was before I filmed March 7th 2020 so I filmed truly the weekend before the world sort of shut down I remember you and I had a conversation we at my production company because we were talking about you filming your special and we were talking about certain male comics. And you were actually debating about going after someone. I don't even remember who or, you know, calling him out specifically. And I was like, that's a great idea.

Like, yeah, I mean, yeah, exactly. So I mean, that does take guts and balls. And like, I love that. I think that's brave. Well, thank you. That means a lot coming from you. I definitely don't regret at all I think I'm just like I looked at like even during the pandemic I watched Richard Pryor so like back when I started I didn't watch a ton of stand-up because I was terrified of stealing you know in that same naive way that when you first start you're like I better not put in my material online because people might steal it it's like nobody wants it you're not funny but I just was terrified of stealing someone's persona or jokes or anything so I didn't watch I wasn't a student of stand-up and I never really like dreamed of being one growing up I kind of just

wanted to be an actress. So I watched in the pandemic Pryor's Long Beach set from 79. And I had never been a huge Pryor fan because I just didn't watch a ton of it. And then as I was watching it, I thought it was incredible. And I was also saddened because he's talking about police brutality. And at the time, I'm sure that was potentially scary and controversial. And then what made me even sadder is how long it's been and nothing's changed. so i began to feel really depressed and downtrodden about the fact that what we think we do might change people and it doesn't right so i know i've reached people i'm like i also don't want to be like a sad sack that's like why what i do doesn't make a difference because i know i have i have had

cool people come up to me afterwards and say so so i know it means something i just think after it came out it was in august of 2020 i just didn't feel like much change i don't know i know it's not like i expected it's not like i think so highly of myself i thought it would change the world or something no i know what you mean though yeah you know when you're going into like an artistic endeavor like these you know a stand-up special is a big endeavor it's you you you and you there's no one else to blame anything on so and when you're it's an undertaking because i remember my special evolution came out like shortly right after yours so i was watching yours like closely because we had had that conversation too and i think it's so true that

you think that you're always kind of disappointed by the reaction something gets i mean when are we ever pleased with the reaction something gets you know i get my podcast numbers every month i'm like oh my god i can't believe all these people are listening to this podcast this is the easiest thing I've ever done with almost no intention you know I'm just having like conversations I'm like oh is it is that what you're supposed to do how you're supposed to handle everything with just kind of off the seat of your pants but I think what you're saying a I I can relate to on so many levels about not wanting to listen to other comedy stand up specifically because you don't want to mimic others accidentally because you can do it so accidentally anyway but the one thing I've

learned over the last many years is we all are talking about the same shit it doesn't make you less of a comic it's you know it's all of our what's our angle everyone is talking about sex and parents and family and religion and anal and whatever you're talking about it's it's not unique the subject matter what's unique is your take on it or your strength or your weaknesses or you know your pov so that's something we always have to remind ourselves of right Yeah. And I think that's what got me. And also, of course, everything with what felt like, you know, this racial reckoning in that early of 2020, which, of course, I felt like, what do I have to add?

So that also contributed to it, where I felt like I should just shut up. And then I was further agitated by some of the people who I had originally been fueled with some of that material because they didn't shut up. And it's like, you're just going to keep tweeting and you're just going to keep making jokes that are so trivial about some of these like really important things. Like, why can't we all why can't you guys just sit down? I even felt that way material wise or just everybody during the pandemic where I was sort of like, oh, good, the world's telling us to take a nap. But all these kids are getting up and running around. I'm like, could you guys just fucking lay down for a bit? You know, and then from home, everybody's doing stand up shows and getting green screens. And I realized that's pivoting and like taking charge of career. And so I think I just was going through something personally that made me feel like, well, can we all just please rest because we're supposed to? Or maybe I just went so hard for so long when the world said stop. I was like, oh, thank you. Yeah, I think a lot of people felt that way for sure.

Yeah. Which stopped me from writing. And and there's so much content. so so like when we're supposed to be resting and then you open your phone it's like everybody's doing stuff from home from a green screen doing these things and I'm like sitting here thinking already you know this after a special comes out you know I've never given birth but but it sometimes did feel like that I you just can't control once it gets away from you and then it's gone and people's immediate reaction is that was so good can't wait for the next one and instead

of me taking that as like thank you I'm going there is no next one that took me so long and then I'm also just looking at people's specials feeling like shouldn't it be special you know instead of what was just you on your podcast you've now put into a special and so people were watching going well I've already heard that and I'm over here thinking like I don't want to be some sort of like sound like some sort of martyr that's like aren't we supposed to work on our craft for so long because it's just like that's part of what's changed is and i should adapt i'm basically not adapting i think is what is happening i'm going i meticulously work on jokes for years and then i will give you something special and i can't really participate that

any longer i'm sure it's it's almost reminds you of this guy i dated in chicago who was a photographer who went to school for photography and then instagram happened it's like what the fuck. I'm like developing photos for people to get, you know, way more attention, followers, jobs, work from just a filter. But yeah, I think I am just sort of not keeping up. Well, that's a product of social media, right? That's the impact that social media has on each of us and how we deal with it. You wouldn't be thinking those things about yourself if you weren't looking at other people and what they were doing. Absolutely. And I don't like it. I don't like how that feels. I like I'm someone who does believe there is room for everybody and you shouldn't be out there comparing yourself to others. But I just think it's hard when it feels like it's part of the job now. And then if I am resistant to it, then it makes me seem like some sort of bitter person who's just doesn't feel like they're successful enough.

when what I really want to do is create stuff that I care about that is good that matters and I think sometimes I'm a little too precious about all of it yeah I hear what you're saying yeah it would probably do you some good to just not pay attention you know like keep your head in your stuff and focus on your stuff without looking around even in like cutting that stuff in half because there's no positive impact from looking at social media there hasn't been anything proven that that that anything positive comes out of it and we're all we're all victims of it we're all victims of scrolling mindlessly i mean i once did a test on myself to see how many times i went to instagram without even thinking like in the middle of my day because i put it in an

like its own folder to prevent myself from so easily accessing it because all of a sudden you're watching something and you're like wait when did i get on instagram you know three minutes ago I was supposed to be reading a book what happened so it's just a matter of trying to kind of limit your exposure to that because that's what it is yeah and I definitely have and I'm back to writing and I'm like getting out again and I have been for the last year but that's that's a weird part of it too is uh wait you're you've remained COVID free right yeah you're a gold star I know I know I'm knocking this. Well, I'm a medical director. So that's why I love it. Well, I was back doing shows again and I was vaccinated, fully vaccinated. And then I got a, I had a

breakthrough case in August. It's like a mixture of things. It's like all of a sudden two years went by in a blink. I wasn't writing as much. My life changed so much by not touring. I'm still writing for people and doing punch up and stuff a lot and writing a show and writing on shows. So like, I am grateful to keep my mind going and joke writing and being comedy. So it's not like I'm down for the count or something. But I guess after you do something for so long and you have that weird relationship or break with it, I don't know if it's COVID brain fog or what's going on, but like I have trouble remembering things like there's a lot adding to all of it. And then the fear of getting back out again after not doing it for so long. Oh, yeah. I think I have to shift my

mindset a bit because I like listening to you when you say things like how happy people you're giving people this service like you're going to perform for them and give them jokes and oddly I have this other mindset that's like oh no am I going to be good enough will it be worth their money I don't want to waste their time you know like some things I need to sort of shift before I go back out and remember like I know this job is fun I know it I was happy to be doing it but something's happened to me over the years where I've grown more introverted and I and I think also it has to do with like vulnerability it's almost like I feel like I owe it and it's a strange divulging thing that I have where I feel like I have to tell you everything you know and

I think that's taken a toll as well my mom always be like it's your strength and and also a weakness of yours and I know you're also like you are vulnerable you've been most vulnerable in this last special so I don't know if you've shifted into wanting to do that more or if you felt exhausted by it yeah I mean I did like I when I put that special out I was like okay now let's get back to like stand up stand up like I had to say all of that for my my own peace of mind and everything you just said I can totally relate to taking a break I didn't do it for six years getting back on stage I had to like go in the back door you know I I went on a book tour I say that in quotes because it was like my own psychic way of allowing myself to be on stage but not

alone because I had someone interviewing me and then eventually once I gathered all the stories that I was telling on stage I knew okay this is a new hour of material now let me kick the interviewer off the stage and I'll just go up there but it was very backdoor like you know getting back into stand-up which is something my agents my managers everyone on my team had been telling me that I have to do you have to do stand-up you can't take breaks from stand-up you know and I was like fuck it I don't need to listen to anybody and I'll do it on my own terms so I can definitely relate to what you're saying about not thinking you were worthwhile, not thinking I was good enough, not thinking people are going to get it or they're going to forgive me for taking such

a long break or they're going to say, oh, I'm too serious now. I'm not funny enough. All of those things. And I think the only way to combat that is by being on stage. Yeah. And that's what I've basically come to now, two years later, is I'm getting back out locally for sure. And I've started getting back on the road and i'll and my first club in a long time oh i did like the fort in fort collins in colorado like i keep dipping my toe like once a month and like places where i feel good or run by people i feel good about and so then i'll be at comedy works in denver the first weekend of february and you know that club is just the best oh the best the best i love that that and zany's in nashville are two my favorites i agree with you those are favorites

for sure. They're just, they feel good. And I almost feel like I can try anything. So I am thankful that that's my first club back in a really long time. And then also just, I'll always get in my head about new material where I'm like, it has to be all new. And years ago, after our half hours, Nate Bargatze and I were talking and he was saying, you know what I'm doing on the road is I'm saying up top, I'm going to go as long as I can with my new stuff. And then I'll tell you when we got to dip into the old, which I really liked because it just is like I put a lot of pressure on myself to always bring like new material. And then going back to what you just said, like I got to get back to stand up. Part of me is like, can I write just like an hour on

burritos or something? You know, just like let's I just want to do like fun topics like find instead of trying to dismantle the patriarchy. Well, I think also, yeah, you did that in your last special you know you kind of like had to do a certain thing and I think the good reminder is that you're doing this because stand-up is supposed to be fun it's not supposed to be so grueling right it's supposed to be fun at least the time you're on stage should be fun so that's a good reminder yeah anyway you sound like you're in a great space to give advice to our callers today so I mean the timing could not be better readers digest most uplifting comic of the year here we have callers that call in we have people that write in we have people that zoom in and we

just give them our feedback and people are really earnest and they call in with serious stuff so we're just going to tell them what we think and usually people call in when they've already made a decision and they need a nudge in that direction from like a braver bigger sister to be like hey go take a leap of faith so but yeah should we uh get started katherine did you guys meet did i even introduce you? I don't think we officially did. I'm Catherine. I'm such a terrible host. I'm so sorry, Catherine. You're doing great. Catherine's great. I like your hair. Thanks. I loved your specials. I watched them all. Thank you very much. So we'll take a quick break and then we'll come back with questions. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a

month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly

silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,

the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much,

you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us.

Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. is, and try to help them with their

careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great. Can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head? How about we flip

the script? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird? Adam Scott? This entire time, You've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never expect.

Let go of that. I would never set expectations for something like that to happen. If the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm open to it. I'm always going to accept. You know, Danny McBride, fine. Yeah. It's all this fragile masculinity exuding. I could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you.

I was like, is that weed? Nope. it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a on every episode, but he's just so busy.

Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, and we're back. Today's guest is Beth Stelling, a really hysterical stand-up comedian. And Catherine is our producer who is here every episode, and we are ready to get into it. Yes.

Our first question comes from Desi. Dear Chelsea, on one episode, you mentioned going to dinner with Joe and his ex-wife. I've been in a lesbian relationship with my partner for the past eight years. She's divorced and has children with her previous husband. Any tips on how I can initiate a relationship with her ex-husband without being crazy jealous? I know for the sake of the kids it would be a great thing but I don't know how to navigate the feelings I feel when he's around. The kids have expressed wanting to do functions with everyone but my insecurities have stopped me from participating. Any tips would help.

Thanks and keep kicking ass, Desi. Oh, well, that's so easy. Like, don't you just want to be an addition, not a subtraction, right? You want to be an addition to people's lives and to the betterment of this is your partner. This is these are her children. Obviously, you care about them and about being a positive influence and being a role model. And those are all the reasons you need to just reach out like there's nothing going on with them. You've been with her for eight years.

You're insecurities. you just have to put in a box and like visit them when you come home at night if you still want to go there and my instinct is that you probably won't want to go there after you extend yourself like that with other people you feel so good about yourself and you feel so good about the situation yeah absolutely I would say fake it till you make it because you just need to get there get yourself at the event be pleasant especially if the husband's not a monster and didn't do anything bad you know relationships come and go and uh it's sort of important that you are a positive force like chelsea said so i think that you once you actually get yourself there

and are kind and you're and you're doing going through the motions then it will actually come for real and you'll see the benefits of of a blended family yeah and then you become a hero because then everyone's like oh look at her you know olive branch here olive branch it's not even an olive branch because this person probably never did anything to you so it's just being decent and then that act extends and extends and extends and you're just going to be happier for it i promise you yeah i feel like maybe there is a small like this i have all kinds of stuff like these relationships in my family with my sisters like what this person is going through and i think you have to remember that they're not with that person the ex-husband for a reason so they've been with

you for eight years and that ended for a reason and just by being there showing up it will only solidify that, that you are the right person for them and a great partner. Yeah. And at the risk of being another white lady recommending Untamed by Glennon Doyle, read Untamed by Glennon Doyle. She talks about all this stuff, like co-parenting and dinners with her ex and her wife. And it's really lovely and makes it not seem so scary also. Yeah.

It could potentially even strengthen your relationship with your partner. Yeah. And also, another thing to note is anytime you're having any emotion related to jealousy, which many emotions lead to, then it's important to negate it, like to say, OK, that's not or invalidate it, I should say, to remind yourself that jealousy is not a helpful or useful emotion and it will only hinder you. So whenever you're having misgivings about something or you're feeling insecure or competitive or whatever, however it presents, when you reduce it down and find out that it's jealousy, oh, I'm jealous of this,

then you have to kind of act out against that. That's the only way to kind of extinguish jealousy from your life. Yeah. Well, our next question comes from Bells. Dear Chelsea, two months into my marriage, my husband found out that he's inheriting millions of dollars. Excellent update. Right?

It's enough to obviously make a significant change in our lives, but nothing crazy like we can quit our jobs and retire in our 30s. I feel insanely fortunate to have this new financial cushion in my life, especially since I'm quitting my job and going back to school, but I'm mostly feeling very lonely. He comes from some wealth, and I come from a family of five living off $45,000 a year. I don't feel like I can tell anyone except my closest friend because I have no idea how people would react.

I have no idea how to feel about it. I'm crazy thankful for the opportunities that this brings, but lonely as fuck. I'm writing to you to hopefully get some insight as to how you handled coming to fame and the wealth that came along with it. XOXO, Bells. Hi, Bells. Hey, Chelsea. How's it going? Hi. Say hi to Beth today. She's our guest. Hi, Bells. Hi, Beth. Nice to meet you. Hi. Okay. So your husband is coming into a significant amount of money.

Yes. Great. This is good news. But you seem very, very fearful about this. Yeah, it's just kind of, I've never known what that's like. I grew up without money. So it's kind of like growing up with financial trauma, in a sense. I mean, it's not my money, but it's our money, I guess. And it's just a very odd place to be. I can relate. Even just like having made money on my own. My mom was a teacher and she raised me and my two sisters. And even when I get a writing job in television and we find out how much I make per week, we squeal. And I've been doing it now for years. So I think it's something that's really hard to get used to, especially when you're growing up, you were used to whatever it

was, fast food, or every time you get to a register, it's like a shock each time or having to return things at the till. So I think the thing that resonated with me that you said is the lonely part. Have you been able to talk about it with your husband yet or shared some of those feelings? Yeah, definitely a bit. We had no idea that it was coming. So it's definitely taken a lot of time to adjust. And throughout that adjustment, we've been able to talk about it more. But I guess he's just in a different, money to him is a little bit different. He didn't have that fear growing up. So it's just, we're coming at a different level, I would say. I would also, you know, urge you to like, this has all the makings of being something positive, you know, it doesn't have to, I understand you don't come from money. I didn't come from money either. But I mean, I was never starving or anything, but I didn't definitely didn't have wealthy parents. But it's a gift, you know, you have to look at it with positivity and like brightness and excitement, like you're going to be responsible, you're going to rely on yourself, because you've had the life experience that you had, which was struggling financially.

and that's why you're a great candidate for this to happen to you know what I mean because you're going to be responsible about it you're not going to blow all your money you know you make these commitments to yourself to kind of instill the confidence that you need to kind of handle this gift that's coming into your life does that make sense absolutely yeah and it has been like such a gift it's given us the opportunity to pursue career paths that we didn't have the opportunity to before. And that's just completely life changing and something that I would have never expected to be given. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds awesome. Are you struggling with feeling like it's yours as a couple? Not so much. Not really. I think that's really good then. That's a really

good sign. Cause I think that that would be my instinct is to feel like, oh gosh, well, it's not mine. I'm not entitled to it. And I didn't earn it. And, and those things, unfortunately, like Chelsea said, those are the negative thoughts. And I think that taking a positive spin on this, it is a gift. And because you're used to being more careful with your money, you will be responsible with it. You're not going to do anything crazy. And the other thing that comes to mind too is, of course, it sounds like you're going to be investing in careers that you guys are more attached to or connected to. And then the other way would be to make sure you give a little of it away and to things that you care about. And that might also help make it feel

positive definitely looking forward to that aspect of it I have a lot of giving nature to me and I'm just like I I think the the loneliness aspect is kind of like seeing the people around me just in my daily life struggle and it's like why why do I deserve this over these other people like here take this please but that's not necessarily responsible i understand there's also a weight to it i've struggled with where it's it's like it doesn't just mean nothing to me you know where if i if i am generous or i to me i've struggled with the the line between getting taken advantage of and being generous because i do want to share and and help but i think that that's something just to also be wary of is not i'm not saying be head on a swivel people

are going to take advantage of you. But I think that is like an aspect of it. Chelsea, what do you think about that? Yeah, I mean, there's a definite responsibility. And I think everything you're saying is right already. You're not talking about going and getting a Ferrari. You know what I mean? You're not talking about blowing your money on bullshit. And of course, there might be a couple things that you are extravagant that you place into your life, but you're already having the dialogue with yourself that's responsible. So I think you should let go of some of this burden in that you're placing on yourself. It's unnecessary. And you're giving yourself kind of stress where there doesn't need to be. You know, you've had all the right thoughts and you're and

you're in the right place. Like everything's lining up to be for you to be successful and responsible with this and not be an asshole. Yeah. You can always press that 20% button when you're getting your coffee. Yeah, tip those. Right. Absolutely. Always. Yeah, yeah. And you You know, you can't control who the money, you know, this isn't something that you actively pursued. So stop also playing that narrative around about all your friends and why do you deserve this. We don't know why anybody deserves what anybody gets. But just be responsible with what you do get. Yeah.

And that's the thing about money is it allows us to have power in this society. And you can hit that 20%, hit that 25%, you know, give a little extra at the holidays, find some organizations that you really love to give to. But even in our pre-interview call, you had mentioned like, well, I'm going back to school and I was going to sign up for scholarships, but how can I do that when I have this gift? And maybe the gift is you pay for your own school and someone else qualifies for that scholarship who really needed it. So you just never know who is going to need exactly that in their life. A couple of books, too.

I just happened to be reading this. One is called Uneasy Street. You're always reading books about finances, couples and finances. Weirdly, I am. Because that's the fucking last thing I'm reading. So it's a great compliment. Well, this one I just thought was so fascinating. It's called Uneasy Street. And it's by Rachel Sherman. And it reads a little bit like it was probably her doctoral dissertation at some point. So it's a little dry in parts. But it's a book about not the 0.1 percenters, but one percenters in New York City who are raising a family and doing a renovation. And what you talked about

with this loneliness around money. She interviews these people and most of them won't talk to anybody about how much they make. And so it's sort of like feels very secretive for them to be divulging this to this writer. But the way they talk about the money, she breaks down the different styles of how these people feel about the money that they have, whether they inherited it or have a high paying job or whatever it is. And I think it would be really a really good read for you to see that you're not alone. And there are a lot of different ways that people feel about having quite a big sum of money. And then another one is you are a badass at making money. So obviously at first blush, that sounds like it's not what you're trying to do. But what she does

is she helps you to reframe how you think about money so that it doesn't just feel like this kind of dead weight thing. It feels a little bit more like what can I do? How does this give me agency in the world to help others around me or to help myself in a way that I can be a light to those around me. Thank you. Yeah. Well, there you go, Bells. So keep us posted and let us know, okay? Send us in an update and keep in touch so we can see what happens and all the great things you're able to accomplish. Cool. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Yeah, you're welcome. Good luck with school thanks all right our next caller is kelsey she's in her 30s dear chelsea five years get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed

for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.

Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations,

or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita,

trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners.

Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head okay how about we flip the script okay what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something

like that seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's the state everyone's so dumb except for you fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told

us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts ago i met a guy through a mutual friend and we had an instant connection we dated for a few months but ultimately i wanted a commitment and he was not ready for that as he had recently ended a long-term relationship it was heartbreaking but several months later i started dating my crush at work. He was dreamy, tall, dark, handsome, well-dressed, and mysterious. He pursued me, but I could never actually tell if he liked me. I was so nervous around him, I felt myself constantly seeking his approval. Whenever I sought a deeper connection, he was dismissive and made me

feel like I was asking for too much. I started acting out in the relationship, yelling, slamming doors, doing things not in my nature at all. Eventually, I broke things off. Several months after things ended with guy two, I bumped into guy one and we rekindled things. He's been an amazing partner to me. And after years of failure in dating, I feel so safe and seen in this relationship. We just moved in together. But Chelsea, I need your help. I still think about guy two constantly. I think about the what ifs and what our relationship could have been. I'm so happy with my current boyfriend and he is funnier, smarter, and more emotionally intelligent than guy two ever was. So why am I still so hung up on this guy? I've been in therapy and I've

done a lot of personal growth. You even inspired me to do ayahuasca, but I can't shake this obsession. Chelsea, I need a reality slap and some tough love. How do I let this guy go? Kelsey. Hi, Kelsey. Hi. Hi, this is Beth. Hi, Beth. Hello. Beth is using her bedroom voice today. By the way, we're all going by Kelsey from now on, okay? So we're in this together. You need to read the book attached because it talks about exactly what the dynamic is you're rejected blah blah blah but you're from an anxious kind of attachment he's from uh an avoidant and anxious and avoidant they basically i mean they paint this picture for you it's perfect you read about hundreds of different relationships and just there are three dynamics that are at play at all times

and when we are for some reason we are addicted to that dynamic when you are an anxious attachment you're addicted to somebody who's avoidant and the goal is to find a secure person which it sounds like you've found you've moved in together you're happy you're free it literally is just your ego knocking at your door and you're beholden to it and you're allowing yourself to be so you just need to read a very like easy book to read and you will get it I promise you after you read that book did you ever read that book Catherine no I haven't I need oh it's just so I mean it's like paints every relationship dynamic you've ever been in and then you're like oh you know it's a tale as old as time we'd love to be addicted to our last rejection yeah it's basically just

like this tastes like shit yeah i will have some more thank you so much i don't know i that i need to read the book too apparently i've written it down kelsey do you bring up your ex the guy number two to guy number one sorry no no i don't talk about my ex to my current boyfriend i wouldn't want to like burden him with that but does he know anything about him we've talked about exes in like loose terms before but he certainly doesn't know that i still have an attachment to him yeah are you in touch with him at all so we do work together so i do see him at work unfortunately oh well that's a big part of it then you're still seeing them yeah is it every day you're back in the office or is it zooming yeah not every day okay but still you're seeing

them yeah and I think mostly I just want to get I feel like really emotionally reactive when I see him like like my heart beats faster and like my stomach turns and I just want to let go of that emotional attachment I still have yeah that's a tough one the the physical reaction and having to see them again because that happens for a lot of people but they're never like they might see them once you know in years so still having to work with that person I can imagine why that would why this is a little bit more ever present yeah or having trouble letting go see the issue for me sometimes is is social media when you can tell what they're up to now whether they've moved on or they're with someone new or like it reveals too much unfortunately we know too much yeah i had

to even like unfriend him on venmo my ex blocked me on everything including venmo and spotify i mean i dumped them but i think they just didn't want to know what i was up to at all yeah it's so funny to do the venmo block it reveals a lot it surprisingly reveals a lot i know like they paid this person for dinner this person for weed slash cake and then who else they're with it is true you're right does venmo allow you to see their other transfers yes you better put yourself on private chelsea i'm not on venmo beth you think i know how to pay something like i don't even know what the fuck that is i just for a long time i thought venmo was a record store i was like what Are those back?

No, I'm not on. I can't believe you can watch other people's transactions. That doesn't sound right. Hannibal sometimes will just comment. He just gets on Venmo and says, cool. That's funny. Anyway, Kelsey, listen to me. You are way better than this, and you are way tougher than this, okay?

So you have to find that inner part of yourself that is above this, and maybe it needs to be extinguished with this guy. Maybe you need to actually see him for longer periods of time so he can do the very thing that will turn your stomach and make you realize that you're with the right person, not the wrong one. But it's all ego. You're allowing your ego to control you. And that's never going to be your winning game, right?

You're cooler than that. You're going to get past this. And yeah, allow yourself as much exposure as you think you need with this guy, because I guarantee you he will give you all the tools you need to get past it. Yeah, I think that's true. I think reading the book will help. I do know about attachment theory, but I haven't actually read that book. So I'm sure that will help a lot.

And yeah, I do think seeing him maybe for longer periods of time just to remind myself of why things broke off in the first place. Yeah. And remind yourself every day, like remind yourself how grateful you are to be in a healthy relationship where you're seen and loved and appreciated. Keep reminding yourself of that, you know, because eventually that feeling will take over. Yes, for sure.

For sure. Thank you, Chelsea. Oh, you're welcome, Kelsey. It's actually Kelsey. have a good rest of the day thank you is it really am i really using a bedroom voice do you feel i at the beginnings when you say hello it's like your phone it must be your phone voice where you think what it is is if i have a mic close to my mouth i feel like i i don't want to be harsh there it is again that's your bedroom voice well it's definitely not harsh so i mean go with it

it's good there is nothing worse than having old feelings for someone that you're not with it is the most it's like almost dehumanizing it makes you feel so small when someone else controls your feeling in that way you know the way like butterflies i mean not in the good way because butterflies can be great but true but the what she described as that physical feeling like because i've dated comics so it's like you're gonna see him at the club again or whatever or even you know somebody on the other coast if you're over there and it is that physical reaction a heartbeat or your stomach turning and you don't know how it's gonna go between you you're just like i don't know what they're gonna say to me

and the anxiousness of it yeah yeah and they know you or that who you were at that time that's the other part the intimacy of knowing you in that certain way i feel like it's more reckless with comics because they have a microphone in front of their mouth I always like to get the first time out of the way with any awkward re-interaction with somebody or reintroduction or first time after something happened I feel like it's important to get that out of the way so that you can move on to the next stuff because it's always that that we put so much weight on and we think so heavily about and if we could just like fast forward to it and just do it like look forward to it you know because once you do that then that's that's the last first time you're

gonna have to see them again yeah that's true we'll take a quick break for an ad and then we'll be right back with Beth Stelling hi guys we're back we're back with Beth and Catherine and Beth you've been such a delight I love speaking get bell pure fiber internet with crave Netflix and Disney Plus, from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto-pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything.

When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.

I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. but these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page

are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport.

And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head?

How about we flip the script? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird? Adam Scott, this entire time, you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never let go of that. I have never set expectations for something like that. It seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm open to it. I'm always going to accept, you know, Danny McBride. Fine.

Yeah. It's all this fragile masculinity exuding. exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like they're like oh it's so stupid everyone's so dumb except for you fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told

us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts on the new podcast solita we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman i can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us.

Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. With you, I'm so glad that we could arrange for you to be on. I know. Thank you so much for having me. I love the pod. And, you know, I really, I was going to say, I really care about you, which then started to feel weird. But I am really happy to be here with you. It was just nice to talk, especially because I know you can understand. So I appreciate you even just sharing what you did about, you know, taking the break and I don't know, coming back. I've thought about different ways to reinvigorate myself.

and but yeah I was struggling with what we were saying which is you you're so prolific in your writing and your books I mean massively and there has been part of me that's like oh I should write a book and our friend even Phoebe Robinson has an imprint and she's even mentioned to me like hey have you thought about and it's like what's stopping me is it me am I being self-sabotaging right now am I being a whiny baby after my special or is it really it's not one way or the other we just there's a pandemic going on a lot of things going on in the world and i just have to start over and that's something that was delayed and anytime you have to start over it's difficult so delaying it and not getting back on the road may have extended those feelings there you go

that's exactly right you just need a little fire under your ass and you're gonna have to unfortunately light it yourself you know yeah yeah denver will help i think it will it will all you do is take a couple of like steps in the right direction and then you're off and you're running and everything starts going towards what you're working for you know and it's totally normal to feel the way you're feeling do you know how many people have said this you know who are like i can't do anything you feel desultory it's just like it's so listless yeah it's like oh fuck what's the point of anything you know yeah but what if you know what you do is going to save somebody what if what you write is going to save somebody and it will

most likely you know you're going to have an impact on others and if that's the motivation you need then use that yeah I will and just like we said I remember have a little more fun on the road like people are happy there to see you and it's just there to have a good time because I am thankful for them every time they show up it's just like that weird almost block I put up when you yeah sometimes it feels like that at the comedy store like there's other you know there's venues that you love that you feel comfortable and you can just get right into yourself I feel very like much like that at Largo or but the store sometimes the dudes in the front I just get this vibe that's like arms crossed like we'll see if you can make me laugh and that's the vibe

that I'm almost projecting which these people don't deserve they paid to come see me so I need to just sort of get a little more positive with that yeah and maybe stay away from the comedy store for a while if it's going to bring out those feelings in you you know i find the comment i would never go to the comedy store watch i'll be there next week but i i mean you know don't like go to places that don't make you feel good until you can go there and feel good no matter what happens yeah absolutely i agree with that i've avoided buffalo for years i can't say any of the cities i'm trying to avoid because i'm about to i'm about to go to every single one. Yeah, I was gonna say you're facing your fears. Yeah. Well, Beth, before we

let you go, do you have a piece of advice you'd like to ask of Chelsea? Well, I've milked it slowly throughout. I knew I got what I needed. No. But the last question would be, how many times is the regular amount of times to pee in the night? Oh, God, you know what? I think I go too many times. I go. I've been going to pee like four times every single night. Same. And I feel like that's a lot I think something's wrong well Joe doesn't pee at all in the middle of the night so it's definitely a female thing which we know but it used to be two times and now it's four times yeah I'm up there as well I'll go to the doctor and find out for the both of us I actually am a doctor so why don't I just I look into it and I'll announce it on the next week you know

what I need to go back and watch your special in the beginning and take the notes on what I need to take oh yeah no no i'll send you i'll send you a special subscription i mean prescription excuse me thank you actually no i'll send you a subscription and then a prescription they go well together okay perfect all right thank you beth yeah thanks for having me i can't wait to see your new stuff i can't wait to see you in person and your new stuff okay bye bye thanks beth yeah well chelsea do you want to tell us about your show dates coming up guys i'm coming February 3rd. I have two shows in Portland. The second show still has tickets. So please get them. And then I'm coming to Eugene on the 5th. And then I am going back to Whistler.

And then I have more dates coming up all over Canada in March and April. And then I'm coming back to the States for the remainder of my Vaccinated and Horny tour. I'm coming to Louisville, Kentucky, Birmingham, Alabama, Montclair, New Jersey, Santa Rosa, California, all sorts of shit. So get your tickets and I will see you on my standup tour. Also for tickets to Vancouver and Calgary, I really apologize for all the changing of dates, but now the Grammys have been rescheduled for the day that I was going to reschedule my Vancouver dates. And I don't get nominated for Grammys very often people. So I have to go to those. So we are rescheduling again, And the Vancouver and Calgary dates, they are most likely to be rescheduled in August,

but you can always check my website. We will update or Instagram or Twitter. We update it all the time. And as soon as we have those dates locked in, you will hear about it. So my apologies. And any tickets you have will be honored for those new rescheduled dates. And if you'd like to get advice from Chelsea and one of her guests, please write in to DearChelseaProject at gmail.com.

i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week,

we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by kristin bell josh gad and adina menzel i auditioned for frozen what for kristoff they said okay what are you going to be singing today i said i don't know that must have been why you didn't get it Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh...

No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us.

Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita trading the pity for possibility listen to solita on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts this is an iHeart Podcast guaranteed human