Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Lean Into the Rot with Samantha Irby
Episode Date: October 12, 2023Writer and humorist Samantha Irby joins Chelsea to talk about ignoring her stepkids so they think she’s cool, discovering what OCD looks like for her, and moving from Chicago to the Thai-food desert... of Kalamazoo, Michigan. Then: A twenty-something is disgusted as all of his friends get married off. And a writer digs in too soon after the dissolution of his throuple. * Find Samantha Irby's books, including Quietly Hostile, here! * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at DearChelseaPodcast@gmail.com * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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I survived nine months in captivity,
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I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.
Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable,
abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.
These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
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Hi, guys. Hi, everybody. It's Thursday. It's Thursday. Today's Thursday. That means it is
October 12th. I'm performing at the Pantages tonight and tomorrow night. And I am coming
to the Arizona Financial Center on Saturday.
This Saturday night,
you guys can still get tickets for that.
Arizona Financial Center in Phoenix.
And then next weekend,
I have Cleveland, Ohio,
October 20th, Columbus, Ohio,
October 21st,
and then Pittsburgh,
October 22nd at the Heinz Theater.
So please get tickets for that in those areas.
This week has been a very difficult week
because of all the violence and terrorism
going on in Israel and how complicated that situation is. So, yeah, a lot of mixed emotions.
I don't think we'll get into it here, but I think that it is important to be as educated as you can
and to understand that Hamas is a terrorist organization that does not represent most
Palestinians, just like MAGA right-wing nuts don't represent most of Americans, just like jihadists
don't represent most Islamicists. And to remember that there's really no room to say this is
justified. I understand how complicated the history of that region is and that the Israeli
government is not innocent in the oppression of the Palestinians and the Palestinians,
their governments have not been innocent as well. So it is a two-way street and it is
really would be wonderful if we could have peace somewhere in this world.
I mean, it is such a complex situation. I wonder it always leaves me wondering, like, what can we do? And I wonder if there's some like human rights organizations we can.
Oh, yeah, there is a human rights organization. You can donate to my friend Shelly. They're helping people on the ground and not just Israelis. They're helping any Palestinians who have been since there is a blockade in Gaza. Israel isn't letting anyone go into Gaza. But there is a organization that is helping anyone, anyone, whether they are Israeli or Palestinian, that is on the ground that needs help. It's called Global Empowerment Mission. Global Empowerment Mission. And they're giving aid to everybody. They're already in there.
I put it on my Instagram page, and you can follow Mindful Skater Girl also, and she gives
information on that as well.
I'll make sure to put a link to that in the description as well.
So if you want to donate, you can go there and help out.
Chelsea, I do have kind of a lovely response to our episode last week with Ruby Warrington
about not having kids.
This comes from Debra.
She says, I am a 72-year-old woman who recently lost the love of my life after 42 years.
Although he loved children, he respected my decision not to have any of our own.
Between us, we have six nieces and nephews who have produced 10 children.
I love all my great nieces and nephews and have a really good time when I'm with them.
They consider me the fun aunt.
I'm always open to whatever challenges they present me with, and I've never regretted
my decision to not have kids.
The wonder of children and their curiosity of life is a joy that does not necessitate
being a mother or a grandmother.
My husband and I have followed you for many years and have always enjoyed your comedy and insight.
Thank you, Debra.
Well, amen.
Shalom, Debra.
I just love that.
Thanks for writing in, Debra.
Thank you.
Chelsea, where have you been?
Right now, I am living in my neighbor's house because my house is still not done.
So I am – this is about eight months delayed.
Chelsea, they promised.
I know.
Anyway, I like to focus on the positive things in life.
And that is that I have Bernice back in my arms.
She's looking fitter than ever.
She's here with us.
She is a beautiful little baby.
Look at her.
Look, she's lost weight.
My Belle put out her back in tip-top shape, and she's so sweet.
She's even sweeter than when I left her.
So, I mean, I guess, yeah, my Belle's a really good influence.
I mean, she only speaks Spanish, but that's fine because my Spanish has improved also.
That's true.
You're getting so good.
So there you go.
Fantastic.
I have a question for you.
When you need to have a laugh, who do you go to?
A laugh?
A laugh.
Myself.
Fuck, I can't depend on anybody for that.
No one else can be responsible for that?
Nah, I don't know who I go to for a laugh.
I don't think I go to anyone specifically for that purpose.
Or like, okay, if you do need to have a laugh, would you go book or would you go like comedy special, TV show?
No, I don't get that either.
I don't go, I mean, I think there's a lot of natural laughter in my life that I don't have to seek that out.
I go to people for other things, you know, but not laughter.
No, I supply my own entertainment for myself.
Yeah.
Yeah, I have a fucking blast with myself.
I mean, nobody gets me like I do.
You're right.
I do think that that's the perfect answer.
I think also like when you can make yourself laugh, I'm definitely somebody like if I'm doing a post on Instagram and I think it's funny, I'm like, I don't care if anybody else thinks it's funny.
Like I'm cracking up about it for the next five minutes.
I just love it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I don't know a lot of books that make me laugh.
No, there are not a lot of funny books.
And I think that's why yours stand out, because they're just ridiculous.
Yeah, mine are really ridiculous.
And David Sedaris will make you laugh.
That's a good author.
And then there are, you know, Sarah Silverman's special made me fucking laugh my ass off.
Amy Schubert's got to do special.
That'll make you laugh.
Yeah, no, I don't know.
So our guest today is somebody who I'm very excited to talk to because I've read a lot
of her stuff.
She's an essayist and the author of Meaty.
we are never meeting in real life and wow no thank you her new book is called quietly hostile
it came out in may so please welcome humorist samantha erby hello oh look who's there
media science samantha erby oh my god look at you guys you look so beautiful
Why do you have half of your face cut off?
How are we supposed to even recognize you fully?
You have to flip it and reverse it.
Back it up.
Okay, here's the thing.
My desk is covered in garbage, and I can't push the monitor.
Can you lie down and just pop your head up?
Oh, wait, here we go.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, that's a better view of your full face, full frontal.
Hi, Samantha Irby.
how are you hi my sweetheart okay i know everybody comes on and is probably like
chelsea i love you so much but i really do they don't do that and they don't no no no we don't
okay well then i forbid let me be the fucking first and say that are you there vodka it's me
chelsea is the first audiobook i ever listened to and i count you among one of the few people
who made it possible to like talk about your bullshit in a book that people would buy and read
and it's funny. And anyway, without you, there's no me. Well, that's wonderful because I'm actually
Samantha's birth mother. And that's what this podcast is all about. This is our 23andMe episode.
And actually, Samantha, you have a lot of siblings that you're about to learn about too. So I hope
that you're in a good mood. Okay. I'm fine to meet them as long as you tell me up front that
I'm your favorite. Oh, you're my favorite. Obviously, you know, I'm not an idiot about
favorites. It's whoever I'm talking to. I just want to say that I became familiar with you by,
I think it was an excerpt that they had printed from one of your books in the LA Times. And I
thought, oh, wow, what a breath of fresh air. And then right when I became familiar with you,
everyone in my world started bringing you up to me because you have such a unique writing style.
and you're I would say a humorist would you agree with that yes it's a weird word right it feels
fancier than what it is I think I do do you think essayist is fancier than humorist essayist is too
fancy because like I feel like you know David Frum or somebody is writing like essays but if
you say comedian people are people assume stand-up and i'm would never do stand i'm too sensitive i
cannot have people walking in the door like prime to call me a fat bitch before they even sit down
i can't do that so yeah humorist works there's no good word funny person i know it there really is
there's a language that has so many words that mean the same fucking thing you think they would
be able to come up with a new one or two to describe very particular professions, moods,
you know, behaviors. Yeah. Wait, what do you call yourself? Are you like actor? I don't. I mean,
I just, I can't. People call me sometimes a writer or a comedian, essayist too. I'm like,
essayist? That's not, I don't know an essay if it hit me in the fucking face. My writing is like
basically just learned out of every editor I've ever worked with. I never had any formal training
except for David Sedaris and reading his books and I just started once I realized that you could
do whatever the fuck you felt like as a writer not that everyone is successful at doing that
but you can do that and the beautiful part about doing what you want and how you would want to read
is that you're being honest and you have a real point of view and when you have a real point of
view that's when you attract people you know that's when people become well known is because
they are sharing something very real to them. So I loved when I heard that advice, like just be
yourself. And I think that that comes across in your writing too, that this is the way that you
look at things in a very authentic way and see things. Yeah. I have had, I'm with you on the no
formal training. That's another reason why when people say essayist, I'm like, I couldn't write
a persuasive essay if you wrote half of it for me right that's not really what i do but they call it
essays because that's easier than printed out blogs or whatever the fuck i would call it a vlog
i'm gonna speak for you right now and i know that you would call it a vlog yes i would i'm glad and
maybe this is me just trying to put lipstick on a pig but i am glad that i don't have any mfa
professor voice in my head telling me that i suck telling me that the form is wrong telling me that
it's bullshit like people ask for writing advice and it's like impossible to give but what i always
say is write what you want right because your editor's gonna fix it and fuck around with it
change it the publisher's gonna have something to say so if you start out writing what you want
eventually it'll feel natural and most of you will come through on the page i'm at the point now where
they don't really change much like they fix the errors but it's never like
this story needs a little more piss you know what i mean they leave me alone
and I feel very lucky but I really do just like write whatever the fuck I want how I want and I
don't even have to convince them that people will buy it which is amazing at this point it took a
few books and now they're like oh you're gonna write about this porn you watched okay people
hope will buy that well and I think that's something that you Sam are so good at is
inserting your personality into stuff. I was reading just like a little listicle. I think
it was on The Strategist of like stuff that you bought recently. And it's so funny. It's one of
my favorite things I read recently. I was like, this sound machine sounds like something I should
buy. Okay, you should. It's very cheap. Sound machine. I mean, I have to listen to sound every
night. I'm like a baby. Me too. I need a fan, a rainstorm, and I need to hear my dog within like
six feet. Does your dog sleep in the bed? When I trap her fucking ass, she does. When I trap her
and pull away the doggy steps, then she has no retreat. That's right. But I also just started,
this is a little bit more she-she, but somebody sent me a rose quartz eye shade. I always wear
eye shades because I have to be in the dark. And sometimes I end up just putting a t-shirt over my
head like a condom because I can't find my eye shade because I'm too stoned at the end of the
night, which has been an ongoing saga, quite frankly. And I wish somebody would be able to
bucket and nip it in the bud for me. Anywho, I wore this quartz eye shade and I've got to tell
you, my face felt so good and it stayed on all night. It's quartz? Yeah, it's rose quartz. I
mean, it's from some brand that I never plugged that I'm loving. So look at that. That's incredible.
I'm going to have to do that because I too am a late night stoner. Oh my God. Nothing is better.
where do you live samantha are you in new york or la no i am in kalamazoo michigan
that's very suspect i am a child of the midwest well i'm from just north of chicago which is
better than here listen i just had two shows in kalamazoo a couple of months ago no bitch we
couldn't go because they sold out oh you should have contacted me i would have totally gotten
you hooked up that would have been oh they sold out lame thing to say there's always a way
i don't have that kind of nerve now that we've met and i'm seeing you face to face i'm gonna
message you about everything but then what if you were like bitch no who are you i would have
dropped dead no i don't do that i don't i do i help strangers that i don't know if they're
looking for tickets i mean i don't help them by giving them because word got out about that but
i direct them to my fucking website oh you know where i'm coming to detroit that's not far from
i'll come see you in detroit oh yeah okay we'll hook her up with detroit tickets that's perfect
i'll come see you it'll be great but yeah i'm in kalamazoo because my wife lived here and she has
kids well your wife is still living there actually it's not past tense and now you live there so
when we met she lived here and when we decided to get married and live together
I had no dog in the fight you know as the childless one I could not be like well Chicago
is just better you know that doesn't fly so now I live here but you know what I'm getting used to
it I like it I think what are the differences that you've noticed or like the things in the
beginning that you thought were a little bit shocking but that you've since warmed up to
okay well this is gonna sound fucked up if I say I've warmed up to it but there's not a lot of
ethnic food lots of different kinds of people but if you want to get like thai food or ethiopian food
you have to drive to another town that's probably 45 minutes to an hour away at least and like that
was a you know chicago's a big food town and it was a big bummer to move here and be like okay we
got like two nice restaurants we can go to and a few others we can pick stuff up from but I'm used
to it now and it's fine you know okay it's fine well that's good there's no traffic that's nice
yeah that is really nice because you've lived in LA and New York haven't you I've lived in LA for
a few months never in New York I have to go there for work but I hate New York oh you do yeah what
Because you have OCD, yeah?
Yes.
Does that play into your hatred of New York?
Well, a little because it's so filthy.
It's just so dirty.
I stepped in a bag of vomit in the middle of Lexington.
It was like 10 years ago, and I can still feel my toes.
I can feel it.
I can feel what you're describing.
And I was like, this fuck, I hate this fucking town.
Every time I'm there, I see something insane.
That's totally normal to everyone who's there.
And I'm like, how do you get used to this?
No Thai food?
I can get used to.
Bags of vomit in the street?
You can't get used to.
No, I can't get used to it.
There is a feculence that is roaming.
And this is in San Francisco, too, because I visit my sister quite often.
and I am alarmed by what goes on in San Francisco.
It's just defecation on the streets.
You just walk by piles of human shit.
And I remember the first time someone pointed it out to me
and I was like, how do you know that's human shit?
They're like, Chelsea, you can tell the difference.
I was like, since when?
I haven't been encountering human shit to know that there was a difference
between dog shit and human shit.
What is the difference?
And apparently there is a big one.
Oh, God.
behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat
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come home at all and will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers
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When I was 14 years old,
I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.
I survived, and I've spent my life exploring
how other people survive what should have destroyed them.
I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.
I just remember this low, taunting voice
next to my ear saying,
shut up, don't say anything.
Every week, I'm with survivors
who lived through the unthinkable.
I knew if he woke up,
without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.
I started feeling that there was someone
at the end of my bed,
and I just started screaming.
They are abducted, stalked, controlled,
and nearly silenced.
But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.
They're stories about what it takes
to make it out alive.
Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart
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See you between the pages.
Talk to me a little bit more about your OCD and how that works with being such a successful writer.
The OCD, I was diagnosed like nine or ten months ago because I, oh, forgive me for how this sounds, but just work with me.
I kind of leaned into the pandemic I was like oh this isn't bad I had a book come out in March of
2020 I didn't have to tour they just delivered cases of books to my house and people ordered
them and I personalized them and sent them out and it was great I didn't have to do anything
I didn't have to go anywhere and then like a year into it I was like oh I'm actually like losing
my mind. And then when things opened up and we could go places, I found that I was terrified
of everyone. And that's not me, right? Like I'm not, I'm a friendly person. I'm fine out in public,
but I was super hypervigilant. I thought someone was going to attack me or someone was going to
run me off the road. So I got a psychiatrist and just told her about myself. And at the end,
And she was like, I know you think you have bad anxiety and depression and you do have anxiety, but your biggest problem is that you have OCD.
And I was like, whoa.
So the way mine manifests, I don't have a lot of, ooh, I forget what they're called, but, you know, like the people who scrub their hands and check.
I don't have a lot of those.
I have a few bad ones.
I can't touch money, like physical money.
Oh, good.
There's none left anyway.
Problem solved.
I mean, you just have to use credit cards.
Yeah.
As a kid, though, it was like if you tried to hand me a bunch of loose change, I couldn't
touch it.
I would.
I also wash my hands after that.
And I don't wash my hands after a lot.
I'll be honest.
You know what the most horrifying thing on earth to me is to see someone like pay for something with real money and then put their hands on food and eat that food.
Oh, my God.
That's very prevalent in New York City because of all the stands and the taco stands.
There are no taco stands in New York City, but street food vendors, whatever they're called.
I wish.
I wish it could be me, but it will never.
No, I know.
I know. There is something when you look at a man that does that casually, like, you're kind of like, oh, do you not get germs? I guess you don't.
Yes, right. I wish I could feel so free. So that's my only like, oh, it's contamination. That's my only contamination OCD thing. But what I do or my OCD sort of manifests in hypervigilance, which is exhausting, right?
to think all the time that I need to be prepared in case someone hits me. I have never been struck
by a stranger in public. I don't know where this fucking fear fucking came from. I think being
inside all the time, I was just like, everybody out there is terrifying. And my psychiatrist is
like, yeah, I think a lot of this stuff was dormant or pretty far under the surface. And
then being alone with your own thoughts for two years fucked you up and i ruminate a lot where i
just can't let go of a faux pas i've made or even better worse is if i think i did something
but don't have confirmation like if you got up and left right now and just ended the zoom
i would never stop thinking about what i could have possibly done to make you mad now you probably
just had my podcast or my podcast i get up and i walk out is really funny because that would be
something you must have done like silently what would require me to leave my own recording that
i asked you to be on just like fuck this bye i made a mistake i would never stop thinking about
it so it's that kind of fixation on either what I've done wrong or what I could do wrong or a way
I could embarrass myself I spend a lot of time just thinking over and over and over about ways
I might embarrass myself in a failing effort because you can't talk yourself out of being
humiliating to not commit that error so I just you know if I have an event I'm like oh my god
okay don't fall off the stage know who you're talking to don't look at anyone directly and
make them feel weird you know what I mean it's like that kind of thing for weeks then the event
happens and I do all that shit anyway and like feel super crazy about it long story long I'm on
300 milligrams of Zoloft a day. And does that help? I think so. It doesn't. I had an appointment
with my psychiatrist yesterday where I was like, she was like, how are you doing on the meds? And
I was like, you know, I take them, but I still have like thoughts. She's like, that's not a
problem. And I was like, but honestly, I would love it if the medication could wipe some of the
thinking out. And she's like, I'm not going to prescribe anything to you that does that. And I
was like, well, well, Samantha, you came to the right place. I was like, I'm just going to keep
smoking tons of weed then. And she's like, well, fine, whatever. Just take your pills. Yeah. As
long as you can mix the two, it's when you can't. I mean, usually that those types of meds are,
they don't go well with alcohol so weed is good for that for sure I can't drink so now I just have
a million edibles on me at all times so now talk to me about being a stepmother what is how is that
working for you and what do you think you're I'd like to hear what you think your strongest asset
in that department is don't make me lie on your podcast I don't have any good yes you do I know
you don't think of course yeah say it i'm no i'm pretty good at it okay so the kids are now 15 and
17 they were five and seven when i met them 10 years it's so first of all let no one ever talks
about how like watching a child grow up ages you like i don't feel old until i think about
knowing them in kindergarten and like now the one is like driving a car and has a job and i'm like
what the fuck how have 10 years gone by i do what i call like adjacent parenting which they have a
mom and a dad so those people are gonna do the vaccines and you know set the broken arms do the
soccer signups. I don't have to do any of that shit. I just get to do the cool shit,
which is talk to them. They both tell me everything about who broke up with who and who
we're kicking out of the friend group and who posted what on Snapchat. I live for that. But
you have to play it cool because if you look too excited, they'll stop telling you.
They'll stop telling you. I always look away when there's a question I'm asking of one of
my nieces or nephews where I need the answer. I always like look like, no, I'm not that interested
in the answer that usually brings them in. That is the key to my step parenting is I act like I
have an interesting life, which I do. And I tell them that my life is more interesting than theirs.
Like the thing about kids is for their parents, I'll never forget this one time when they were
very little the older one came to me and was like hey do you want to watch me play and i was like
no i could watch tv like what sit and watch you play i was like does your mom do that and he's
like yeah sometimes and i was like well go find her i'm doing something and i think when you let
kids know that they're not the center of your universe they give you automatic respect that
automatically elevates you to being a little bit cooler than they might have thought you were
so i just act like everything i do is interesting and i don't look up from my phone
i just play it so cool and then like i'll hear them tell their friends when they come over like
oh yeah it's okay we could hang out here my stepmom's cool and like i'm not that cool i just
am good at ignoring pretending to be cool being elusive it's like you know the old dating books
that were like don't call them for three days i basically do that with these kids yeah totally
too available is not what they're interested in for sure no you look needy you look needy mom at
the dinner table is like how was school today and they're like we didn't go to what school but then
later when they're like hey want to hear what happened in science and I'm like no they automatically
start telling me and then I'm like yes so do you have one of your works that you're most proud of
probably see there are some things in the new one that I am proud to have in the world
mostly because like i wrote about my failed pilot like trying to make a tv show out of my first book
and that felt good to have in the world so no one will ask me about it again
you know like people see anything with tv and they're so excited because like people
fucking hate reading books and so they're like oh whoa whoa whoa fuck your books you're doing
something on television can't wait to watch and i'm like well you could read it now and they're
like fuck that can't wait to watch the show and there's gonna be no show so now they know but i
think maybe wow no thank you is my proudest because it was the first book of like my new
boring michigan housewife life and it actually turned out well and it performed well and that
made me you know not that like before i was like cosplaying as carrie bradshaw like i had some big
exciting life but i was fucking more than one person and going to shit in a big city and then
I changed my life to live with a woman I don't have to fuck that often which is great because
we're old and doing less and I thought like oh is do do people want this or is this interesting
will I have enough to put in a book and it worked which was a surprise to me so that's maybe my
my favorite child it's nice to have a favorite yeah yeah the one because i'm never going to be
the person because you know how people are they're like oh you wrote a bunch of books which one should
i read and i'm never going to be the person who's like get all of them like no get the green one
that's what what do you think about lack the lack of reading in this world it's so upsetting to me
It makes me read even more actually, because I have to like, you know, make up for, I mean,
I read like four books at a time.
I like to go at it from like all different avenues.
And I like nonfiction.
I like autobiographical.
I like historical and I like fiction.
So I like to mix it all together because I got to tell you, the more you read, the more
clarity you have and the fucking sharper you are.
And I don't know why people can't just put the fucking bow down.
I know.
I know.
reading is the reason i can write right because i didn't get any formal writing training but as a
kid i was a voracious reader i continued i still just i'm reading like three different books right
now what are you reading right now right now i'm reading this book that's about to come out
called mave fly it's by a woman horror by women is my thing i'm also reading this book called
mother thing i mostly read fiction i can't read a lot of essays because i feel like i start to
imitate people's voices and style and i don't ever want anyone to be like this bitch is trying
to be me but horror is a big one for me because it's so different from what i do and my brain
i do not see jump scares coming i never figure out who the killer is so i'm like put more of
those in my hand the people not reading thing is so distressing to me not even as a writer because
like mostly i just care that people buy it if they don't read what's inside what am i gonna do
just give me that sweet 17 dollars but it is i feel like when like you never hear people talking
about books they've read which is so depressing because that's one of the great things about a
book is hearing like what someone else thought of it exactly exactly and even when you read a book
like I read a book and then I'm basically telling all my friends about a book I'm reading and I'm
the only one talking about the book it's kind of and then you sound annoying people are like we're
not interested I'm like yeah I guess not I hate that well we will exchange I'll tell you what I'm
reading you tell me what you're reading and we'll we'll be the few people who read but I don't know
if i mean i know it's the phones but i feel like my own grandfather saying it's the phones
but it's the phones why can't i mean there's nothing on my phone worth like boiling my eyeballs
over that's like better than just taking a book and reading it and i think i have a really good
imagination and i love to be transported i think that's another reason for writing or for reading
so much fiction it just makes me sad because like books are everywhere there you can get a book
wherever and it really is just not to sound too cheesy but a passport to another place for however
long you're in it. And I feel, and you feel so much better after you read something or complete
a book or even read a few chapters. You feel so much better when you allot yourself that time
than you do when you get done looking at your phone. So like, I know the phone is unavoidable
because we live in that kind of society, but it is, you can put your phone away for an hour a day,
two hours a day and read a book. And the way that fills you up is really indescribable. And I have
a hard time getting it across because I think only other people who read books know that there's a
peaceful meditativeness that comes with leaping into another world that you would never have
dreamt up on your own, most likely. Yes. Yes. I read a couple months ago when everyone else
posted pictures of it on the internet. You never know who's actually reading the books they post.
But I read Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, which is that Gabrielle Zevin book about two
video game designers and their lifelong friendship i am not interested in video games
i didn't grow up in los angeles i hate having friends i honestly i hate knowing people
it's so freeing to say that oh it's it's really the best but like you read that you're taken into
this world like they're at mit i couldn't be a janitor at mit right like it just puts you in a
place you're never gonna be and you can like plunge into someone else's experience i wonder too
if a lack of curiosity and a lack of empathy are other reasons people don't read because i want to
know my you know all of our lives are so small in the greater context it's just me living my
little life over here if i can experience someone else's life by just picking up a book
i'm gonna do that and i feel like there are more people than not who don't have that curiosity who
don't want to learn about other people who don't and i read things too that i'm trying to find
community with this person you know i feel like this is someone i could know or this person's
story i was never homeless in this way i don't know where appalachia is i'm gonna read about
this homeless appalachian but i feel like the people who do that are few and far between not
to make us all exceptional even though we are there is a lack of curiosity no one cares about
any anything but themselves yeah very self-absorbed society and a very i wonder if the lack of
curiosity came before social media or as a result of social media i guess both i guess because you
get drawn into something it's so mindless and thoughtless right and then you get to live a life
through someone else's lens instead of being in charge of what you're going to be putting in your
brain you're looking at other people what they're doing and then that creates a whole list of
ickiness too. I mean, it just doesn't ever feel good to spend hours on your phone at a time.
Like it's so icky. So I'm glad we're on the same page on that. We're going to have to take a quick
break and we're going to come back. Okay. Okay. Are you stable? Okay. Okay. Yes.
Behind every night spent making the kids lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat
the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or
come home at all and will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers
get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed
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and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped
and held captive for nine months.
I survived, and I've spent my life exploring
how other people survive what should have destroyed them.
I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.
I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear
saying, shut up, don't say anything.
Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.
I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.
I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed,
and I just started screaming.
They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.
But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.
They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.
This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.
I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.
I'm going to have to look up this story.
I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.
From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.
It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.
Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place.
Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
See you between the pages.
We're back.
We're back.
We're back.
That's my new favorite term to describe someone that I won't hang out with is they're unstable.
That's what I say now to my friends.
I go, I don't find them stable.
And my friends are like, what does that mean?
I go, just not stable enough for me to hang out with.
I don't want a hot mess.
I'm not in the mood for that.
I'm there if there's an emergency, but I don't need hotmessness.com as a through line.
Right?
We're past it.
no hot messiness I've outgrown it uh-uh it's like it's Tuesday I don't need any bullshit yeah
I saw this woman yesterday who I kind of know not really but you know no because we're both
public people and she came up to me she's like I've got to talk to you I'm just going through
it I'm going through it I'm like oh god you know and I was interested in the beginning
and then as she went on and on and on and on and on I was like oh no this isn't something
that's happening to you now this is something that's been happening to you for a long time
And like, you need help beyond anything I can say to you.
Like, she's like, no, it's this person, this person.
And she's blaming everything and everybody.
And I'm like, you need a therapist.
It's not everybody's fault that you're in this situation.
It's your fault.
But of course, you know, people sometimes come up to me and ask me these questions.
And I always am like, at the outset, I'm like, oh, yeah, let me.
And then once you hear the story, you're like, oh, no, no, you have a situation.
And I don't want any part of it.
Please leave me alone.
I'm going to steal that.
Oh, no, no, no.
You have a situation.
Sounds like you're in a pickle and you're going to need to take that pickle and find out where
to put it. Not me. Yes. Yeah. No free therapy, especially not on the street when you weren't
expecting it. I don't mind that. Honestly, if somebody, if I can help somebody, I'm not like
that. I don't care if I'm not, if I'm not in the mood, I'll fucking tell them like wrong day, pal,
like don't come up to me. But if I am, I'm totally down. I always want to help somebody or leave
somebody with a little pep in their step if I can. I mean, it doesn't happen that often. It's
not like I'm going to the airport early to field questions. I just force her to come here once a
week and do it on tape. Sometimes five times a week, Catherine. Yeah, we've been working a lot
lately. Well, let's jump right to a caller first. Our first caller is Drew. He is 26. And I know,
Sam, you have some wisdom about being in your 20s. Try to sleep through it.
Dear Chelsea, Catherine, and esteemed podcast team, I'm a 26-year-old gay male struggling to put it all together.
I come from a shitty childhood full of alcoholism, affairs, divorce, abandonment, and estrangement.
My views on love and relationships I feel will forever be distorted.
I feel like relationships are only good for the two people in the relationship, and everyone else gets hurt around them.
See how crazy that is?
My father picked his side piece and left.
My mother picked a boyfriend and cut us off.
My friends are now starting to pick their partners and disappearing off into the
domesticated abyss. I just don't get it all. I take medication for anxiety and depression
and have worked with a therapist for the last two years. I find happiness and joy in my thriving
career, good times with friends, but that seems to be all. I struggle with dating on one hand,
thank God. On the other, it sucks. This idea of the fairy tale romance makes me gag because I've
seen the ugly side of it all. It's just not real. I hate that I'm this way and truly would love for
Prince Charming to come scoop me up and fix all my problems, but again, I know that's not real.
I yearn for my 30s in hopes that it will all make more sense. My 20s have been brutal,
but so are my 10s, lol. What would you say to your 26-year-old self? And when does it start
to get better. XO, Drew. Hi, Drew. Hi. Hi, how are you? Oh, look how you lit up right away. I was
like, oh. You're so cute. Hi, Drew. This is our special guest, Samantha Irby, famed. Hi, Drew.
Yes. Hi, Samantha Irby. How are you, babe? Good. Famed writer and anti-socialist.
Fuck yes. Drew. Okay. You have a very bad attitude, my friend, and a very victim.
I do. You're playing a victim. So quickly, I'm going to jump in first, Samantha. The patterns
of behavior that were created as a child, your mother, your dad leaving, it's very obvious that
that's the imprint. So you think when someone's in a relationship, they leave you. Your adult
friends, you're an adult now. You're not a little kid anymore. So like your adult friends, when
they're getting married, the relationship isn't over. You can actively pursue to be friends with
a couple when they're married, even when they have children, if you so desire. But these people are
not abandoning you when people get married. And so you have to really do some work on yourself
to get yourself out of that, like make a shift mentally and emotionally to understand that
that happened to you as a little kid, but now as an adult, you have the power to remain in
these friendships and relationships and relationships don't represent that they're
only good for two people. That's your attitude. You got to have a great attitude. Relationships
are beautiful. You know, there's maybe not a fairytale ending for every single person,
but there's a lot of love to be found and, and, and to lower your expectations so that you're not
looking for the most perfect thing to come at you, you know, but moreover, like, do you see
a therapist? Yeah. Yeah. I have for the last two years. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you want to dig in deep
to this, right? I mean, sure that you've started, right? What have you learned so far about placing
those kinds of childhood expectations on your adult self? Right now we're really working on
like unlearning a lot of behaviors, unlearning a lot of patterns. I'm kind of going through like
a situation right now with a friend where like they have just fallen in love with someone and
just really kind of regressed. And I've, you know, been very intentional about like letting that
happen and keeping the peace and trying to be just as positive and supportive as possible,
because I have been burned in the past. And I do know that there is a pattern of history here and
there is a repeating rhythm and that does need to change. So I'm, yeah, we're working pretty,
she's my bestie. We're working pretty hard. Great. That's awesome. That's awesome. You're
already working on it. It's just a matter of it, like taking hold in your life and to start to be
joyful for people instead of feeling like something's being taken away. Because when
you can appreciate the stuff that you do have in your life, there's a sense of abundance and this
is like spiritual talk, but it's fucking true. Like I live it and I have so many friends that
live it. When you start to appreciate the things you have, more things start to show up. When
you're bemoaning what you don't have, the things you have slip away. So you always want to be like,
you want to get up every morning and whether it's saying mantras into the fucking mirror and
to writing down, I'm happy and I want to spread love and joy. And you say that into the mirror
20 times a day, or if you want to meditate or do a guided meditation, get yourself up on the right
foot every fucking morning so that you are starting off in like a positive path and that you're going
to light up people around you that's your goal you know and eventually that won't seem annoying
it will seem natural you have to trick yourself into getting into a more positive headspace
absolutely samantha what would you like to say well first i'm going to take all of your advice
because that was really good getting up and saying a mantra that was a word honey that was a word
it was a word but i am going to say if you fail at what chelsea said which i often do
you could lean into just being a hater with a good career right like you said you like your job right
you can just be like fuck friends i just i'm great at my career look at me making money i'm doing what
i want friends yeah i don't have to buy wedding gifts for a bitch i don't talk to anymore so then
you're off the hook miss erby you're speaking my language girl no but you have to try chelsea's way
first right or not try the mantra you like her advice more than that it's not no that's what's
great about being a person you can take your own because i want to spread love and joy i like
that's my thing. I love making people laugh, but there is something rotten deep inside of me that
I can't get rid of. And in case that happens to you, you can just become the rot and just like
be an asshole. Right. You know, our rotten sides are just our shadow selves. Everyone has a rotten
side. You're not the only people with it. I've got it. You've got it where we have those mean
thoughts or we have, you know, where we're not happy for others, or we wish something bad would
happen to somebody to put them in their place. That's natural, but it depends. Do you want to
ride that or do you want to ride the positivity and be on the flip side of that? Because that's
going to yield much better results. I hate everyone too, but I work very hard to not hate everybody
so much because nobody deserves to be hated. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. And like, that's
I'm kind of at this place where like I think and I'm 26 right so I'm still a very baby adult but
like if you would have asked me at 21 that whole like cutthroat career girl who's out for only
hers like that was very I identified a lot with that I really leaned into that I was like well
obviously this is how my this is the path for me right here and as I like get older I just I'm
kind of like damn so um yeah I mean obviously I'm aware that that is not who I want to be right and
I think making the steps to kind of reverse that is where I need to be focusing.
Yeah.
And also you can have your days where you don't want to deal with people or a week if
you don't want, I mean, listen, I do it all the time.
I have, I'm like a recluse when I'm on tour and I come home, I can't be bothered or to
socialize.
Everyone's annoying me, that kind of thing.
But there's a time and a place for that.
And then when you're putting yourself out into the world, you know, there's nothing
negative that's going to become, come from being positive and kind of, you know, and
it becomes infectious also.
It's like a contagion.
And so it's don't think about it as yourself. Think about it as like spreading good vibes around because the world is a difficult and ugly place for a lot of people. So you're not alone in having those dark thoughts. That's that's part of who we all are.
Yeah. One thing that's helped me as sort of a stepping stone on that way, like you might not be able to go from like having this messy experience of like seeing your parents be super chaotic to like, I believe in love and Prince Charming is out there.
But a nice stepping stone for me was learning to be curious and saying, what if that person is out there who will like me for me and treat me really well? What if that is out there for me, for my friends? And just sort of asking yourself when you have those cynical thoughts of like, it doesn't exist. It's not real. What if it is? Like, what if it could be?
right and I'm really trying to focus on unlearning the idea in my head that like
to need someone to want someone to yearn someone is a weakness um because it's very much like
yeah and I really need to you know hit the reverse button on that yeah well you know what you need to
do so I think you're on your way best of luck to you thanks for calling in thanks you girls have a
gorgeous afternoon you too I hope he gets out of that fucking office that he was sitting in that
look like diarrhea or the vomit that samantha stepped in a bunch of years ago which which is
she's never returned to new york city since then i wouldn't either our next caller is fredo
dear chelsea my name is fredo and i'm a 43 year old polyamorous gay man from puerto rico currently
living in pennsylvania with my now husband we've been together for seven years and have been married
for four months we were also in a very loving and committed throuple for close to two years
Sadly, our third wasn't ready to receive all the love, attention, and responsibility
and ended the throuple nine months ago.
That's a nice way to put it.
We were devastated.
The love we both developed for this man was very powerful, and it still is.
We're still recuperating.
At the same time, I wouldn't change the time we shared together.
I'm currently in therapy, and I started meditating in the mornings,
even hopping on the treadmill at 4.30 a.m.
I studied literature in college, so as part of my self-discovery,
I decided to write about our love story. So many good moments, many intense, and some very sad.
The problem lies in the fact that I'm a very emotional guy, so recounting events can be
tricky for me. I don't deny that after a writing session, it takes a bit of time for all the
feelings to settle back again, maybe too long. Since I've started writing, I haven't felt the
support from my husband about this new creative work. He doesn't take it seriously. As a writer
yourself what is your take on this situation. I want to keep writing and get my story out,
but at the same time, I want to be present and happy for my husband and not let the feelings
take over to the point that it affects him. Thank you. Love you. Attaches a picture of me
and my husband. And he's here with us as well. Hi. Wilfredo? Fredo. Fredo. We're calling you
Fredo. That's quite a mouthful. Wilfredo. No wonder you want people to call you Fredo.
Yes. How you doing?
Hi. Our special guest is Samantha Irby today, so you're in luck.
hi hello hello okay can i say something as a person who writes about herself and has written
four books that involve other people a couple of things they make a lawyer read my manuscript
before they publish it and every time the lawyer says you own everything that's happened to you
but you don't own everything that's happened to other people and you have to get their consent
or at least make sure they're not going to sue you for writing about them so that's my first
piece of advice and number two is about the emotions of it all if it's that upsetting
to write about, you should wait until it's not upsetting. Because when you put
work out into the world, I don't put anything in a book that I wouldn't be okay with being on the
news. Because once your work is out there, people are just going to talk to you about it all the
time. And you can't have a breakdown every time someone wants to talk to you. So maybe that's a
sign that you're not quite ready to be putting this to paper. Makes sense. Actually, my therapist
suggested something like that, too. Oh, well, look at that. Samantha Irby with the clutch advice.
Look at that. Very. I'm going to go to therapy school. Thank you, Fredo. Yeah. Or you could
just start a podcast. That sounds pretty fucking right on, I have to say. I mean,
truer words have never been spoken well and of course listen if you do want to write about
somebody that doesn't want to be written about there are ways around that too you can fictionalize
that character as all editors name well change names so that they're not recognizable change
their jobs locations blah blah blah all of that but i i do feel like you're doing a bit of
journaling right now more so than writing right that's what it feels like like you're it's a bit
cathartic for you yeah yeah at this moment it's actually taking shape at this moment so it was
a little all over the place it's kind of growing and getting into turning into something more
concrete and i really want to put it out there i have to say that the experience of being in a
thruple for me i have never been in that type of relationship and it really changed a lot the
perspective of how we see things it's so intense you know for the good parts and the bad ones too
there's you know three set of of minds together and i have to say that i wouldn't go back after
that part of the the heart is kind of open up to another person i really cannot and it's not
not to say that i don't love my husband like with all my life he's he's incredible but that space
it's it's it's there so it's been already 10 months and it's just difficult for me to sit
down and and write because I know that he gets a little quiet and after I write it for a bit then
I get a little quiet because a bunch of feelings come up and also I also have ADHD so I'm a little
scatterbrained so I would like to ask him some stuff some details about what happened and I
don't know how to how to how to enter that you know what it has been 10 months but your emotions
aren't wrapped up yet right you still have lingering feelings so maybe it would be time to
just take a little break like just to say I'm going to take a month off of us doing this because
you are it's not like you're writing without infringing on his space as well because you're
asking him to help you write so that's a little different I think maybe you should take a month
off. And when you come back, try and do it on your own. And then you can set a time deep in
the future that you go to him for the details that you're missing. You know, don't make him
part of your writing routine because that's not his desire. It's yours. So find a private area
to do that in. And if you can do that right away, then great. But if you can't take some time off
and just give yourself a break, because that's sometimes when you're writing, I know is a great
reset. Sometimes you're writing and you're writing and it's like, it's not right. This isn't working.
this isn't making sense this isn't the kind of language I want to be using and you know there's
a reset time yeah makes sense my worry is that I would miss the intensity of the details that I
have myself that I would forget or you know you can make notes you could jot down notes you could
use your notes app to remember things like that's what I do I text myself if there's
something i want to remember i do want to ask because i think it might help you is it possible
for you to write outside of your house can you take your laptop somewhere because if you're
tense and you know whatever emotions are coming up for you and then your partner is seething in
another room while you have your computer out and then you both have to decompress from that
if you could maybe remove like show him that you are caring for his feelings and remove yourself
while you're writing that might help too oh yeah i do have the time and i could go someplace else
but you know sometimes just before bed just randomly that i would you know have to want to
write something i put on my tablet and he already looks at me and said are you sure you want to
write that right at this time of time at night and I know you know I get it yeah so I think just
have a little bit more respect for doing it privately right yeah and you can jertle like
yeah you can vomit out all your thoughts in the next three weeks and put them all down and then
take a break and be like okay I got all the details down they don't have to be in the perfect
order or the perfect arrangement you know it's good to just kind of vomit your thoughts out when
you're feeling this intensely about something. And you might do some like physical reset stuff
after you've been writing before you interact with your husband, like say it's during the day
and he comes home from work, you know, you can go for a walk, you can take a shower,
which will help reset your nervous system, do some breathing exercises, but like giving yourself 10
minutes to just like put yourself in a different frame of mind before you have an interaction with
him might be really helpful. Yeah, this podcast has been very, very helpful during this couple
months. So I feel like I'm home. Oh, well, I love that. I love that. And thank you for calling in
and sharing with us. Take some of what we said to heart and, you know, just change it up a little
bit. And I think you'll get a different result. And then your partner won't feel so depleted also.
Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you, Fredo. Have a good one, guys.
Bye-bye. Well, Fredo was worth the wait, you girls. Yes. Yeah, I loved him. I know.
I don't want him to fuck up his relationship, though, with the writing.
Let's take a quick break.
We'll be right back.
Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense.
Will they finally eat the veggies?
Will the pesto survive the first bite?
Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all?
And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers?
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Bell, connection is everything.
When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.
I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive
what should have destroyed them.
I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.
I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying,
shut up, don't say anything.
Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.
I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.
I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed,
and I just started screaming.
They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.
But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.
They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality,
welcome home.
This is Prose Society,
the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters,
pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve
the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,
the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.
I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.
From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments,
nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters
and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture
conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right
place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts
See you between the pages.
We're back.
Whenever I hear about throuples, I'm like, I don't know how people do it.
It's a lot.
It's just too much drama.
There's enough drama in one and one relationship.
I understand not staying with the same person your entire life.
I get that.
But having multiple people in relationships is just so unsettling.
It gives me such an unsettling feeling.
Like someone is always going to get their heart broken.
So much work.
Yes.
Always.
And there's one person who has an option to leave.
Well, it seems like there's always one person who has an option to leave and the other two
people have to stay.
And it's like, yeah, how do you how do you relax when your third could just walk out
at any time?
I suppose your main could, too, but still.
But also the concept of comforting each other over the loss of another lover to me is like,
wait, what?
It's kind of like, is it?
Yeah.
OK.
Anyway, Samantha Irby, you're coming to my show in Detroit.
we're going to dinner first you and your lover come we're gonna go to dinner we're gonna have
some conversation i'm very looking forward to hanging out with you me too i kept so happy we
finally fucking met my queen me too you did a show with megan steelstra in madison and she's
one of my closest friends she reads all my stuff and i couldn't go to the show but i felt like i
was like give chelsea some of my love and energy hopefully she did she did it maybe she kept it to
herself but you are everything so well i love you you know that thank you so much i love you i'll
thank you for having me this was great goodbye my gorgeouses goodbye bye okay second shows have
been added for those of you coming to see my new stand-up tour which you have to come because i'm
having the best time. We added a second show into Cincinnati, Los Angeles, which is actually
October 13th. There are still tickets for October 13th show in Los Angeles. We added second shows
in Chicago, the Chicago Theater, Portland, Oregon, San Francisco. They're both almost completely sold
out. Detroit, Michigan. And then we added a second show in Cincinnati in the daytime at 5 o'clock
p.m. I'm doing my first show because I don't have a night where I can go back. So we added a second
show at 5 p.m. and the original show is at 8 p.m. Original show is sold out. Second show tickets are
available Cincinnati. I'm also coming to Cleveland on October 20th and then I'll be in Columbus
October 21st and Pittsburgh October 22nd. So those three shows I still have tickets available
and you can go to ChelseaHandler.com for other tickets and other information and if you want to
buy some of our merch. That's all available on ChelseaHandler.com. And yeah, guys, I'll see you
on the road. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at DearChelseaPodcast at
gmail.com. And be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at
chelseahandler.com i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how
other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the
survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted
stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive
Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.
Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.
Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture
with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions.
Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.
Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast?
We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by.
The cast of Frozen stopped by.
Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel.
I auditioned for Frozen.
What?
For Kristoff.
They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today?
I said, I don't know.
That must have been why you didn't get it.
Well, you probably won.
Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more.
And I guess I can share that, uh...
No way.
Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
This is an iHeart Podcast.
Guaranteed human.
